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1
00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:02,867
Previously, on Young Sheldon...
2
00:00:03,295 --> 00:00:05,332
I've been corresponding
with Dr. John Sturgis
3
00:00:05,547 --> 00:00:06,754
at East Texas Tech.
4
00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:08,547
He said I could audit
his course.
5
00:00:08,759 --> 00:00:10,500
Connie, I would like
to see you again.
6
00:00:10,719 --> 00:00:12,506
Perhaps we could have
dinner sometime.
7
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,546
Yes, we would love that.
8
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:16,051
We would?
9
00:00:16,433 --> 00:00:18,299
If they get married,
we immediately double
10
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,351
the number of smart people
in our family.
11
00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:22,679
Hello, Dr. Sturgis.
12
00:00:22,898 --> 00:00:23,684
Hello, Sheldon.
13
00:00:23,899 --> 00:00:26,516
Can you see yourself
living here? I can.
14
00:00:28,362 --> 00:00:31,480
♪♪♪ ♪
15
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:34,816
Mmm. Good ratio of hot dog
chunks to spaghetti.
16
00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:37,743
I've been experimenting.
Glad you noticed. Kids!
17
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:39,992
- Wash up for dinner!
- (doorbell rings)
18
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:41,539
Now, who on earth is that?
19
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,293
And don't be picking out
all the chunks.
20
00:00:45,504 --> 00:00:46,665
Aw.
21
00:00:52,427 --> 00:00:53,963
Sorry I'm a little late.
22
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:57,138
(laughs): My pant leg
got stuck in the chain.
23
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:58,464
Who are you?
24
00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,345
I'm John Sturgis.
25
00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,182
Sheldon invited me to dinner.
26
00:01:03,814 --> 00:01:04,850
Aha.
27
00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,274
Okay. Um, come in, I guess.
28
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,350
Sheldon?
29
00:01:09,987 --> 00:01:11,023
SHELDON:
Coming!
30
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:12,737
This is for you.
31
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:16,153
It's cheese and
summer sausages.
32
00:01:16,451 --> 00:01:17,316
Thank you.
33
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:20,370
Summer sausage means it
doesn't need to be refrigerated.
34
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:21,870
Is that so?
35
00:01:22,207 --> 00:01:22,947
It is.
36
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,533
Okay. Sheldon?
37
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,496
Dr. Sturgis, welcome.
38
00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:27,873
Thank you, Sheldon.
39
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,125
Sheldon, you think
you might've let me know
40
00:01:30,340 --> 00:01:31,831
you invited company
over for dinner?
41
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:34,508
I did think about it, but
I was afraid you might say no.
42
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,881
Come see my train set.
43
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,094
All right!
44
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:42,176
♪♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪♪
45
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:45,011
♪♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪♪
46
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,643
♪♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪♪
47
00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:50,642
♪♪ I am a mighty little man ♪♪
48
00:01:50,861 --> 00:01:54,229
♪♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪♪
49
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,280
Good Lord.
50
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:05,990
You mean he just showed up
out of nowhere?
51
00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:09,293
Yep. He's out in the garage
playing trains with Sheldon.
52
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:11,120
Why's your hair wet?
53
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,292
If you must know,
54
00:02:12,507 --> 00:02:13,543
I was doing my water aerobics,
55
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,250
and my swimming cap fell off.
56
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:17,461
This Sturgis fella didn't
say a word to you?
57
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:19,716
If he did, do you think I would
have been doing frog kicks
58
00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:21,763
at the YMCA?
59
00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:23,424
You look great.
60
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,682
(train whistle blows)
61
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,394
O gauge trains
are definitely the best.
62
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,267
O, yes, they are.
63
00:02:33,779 --> 00:02:34,644
(chuckles)
64
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,729
Oh, well,
what a pleasant surprise.
65
00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:38,572
Oh, good. You're here, too.
66
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:40,116
I am.
67
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,610
Are y'all about ready
for dinner?
68
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:42,781
I am.
69
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,203
Well, then, let's go.
70
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,156
Meemaw, you smell like chlorine.
71
00:02:46,375 --> 00:02:48,742
- Why say it?
- Hmm.
72
00:02:52,464 --> 00:02:53,420
You weren't kidding.
73
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:56,837
Spaghetti and hot dogs
is delightful.
74
00:02:57,260 --> 00:02:57,920
SHELDON:
Even better
75
00:02:58,136 --> 00:02:59,752
since Mom perfected
the chunk ratio.
76
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,756
So, Dr. Sturgis,
Sheldon tells us
77
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:04,465
you're a guest professor
at the university.
78
00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:05,675
- I am.
- Hmm.
79
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,977
Does that mean that
you're only here temporarily?
80
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,975
Well, that's the plan for now.
81
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:14,893
But I could be enticed to stay.
82
00:03:16,238 --> 00:03:18,230
Meemaw, I do believe
there was subtext there.
83
00:03:18,448 --> 00:03:19,564
Did you pick up on it?
84
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:20,815
Yeah.
85
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,070
Was I correct to infer
86
00:03:22,285 --> 00:03:23,150
there was subtext there?
87
00:03:23,370 --> 00:03:24,281
You were.
88
00:03:24,496 --> 00:03:25,486
Okay, we're all good.
89
00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,248
I can't believe
they're making me sit and eat
90
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,575
at the kiddie table.
91
00:03:30,836 --> 00:03:32,668
- It's better here.
- How?
92
00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:34,875
We don't have to pray,
eat our vegetables,
93
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:36,376
and we can curse.
94
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,166
Hmm. Maybe you're right.
95
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,342
Course I am, you ass-face.
96
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:43,963
SHELDON: Dr. Sturgis,
do you think
97
00:03:44,182 --> 00:03:45,764
we're ever going
to unify gravity
98
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,933
with the other three
fundamental forces?
99
00:03:48,895 --> 00:03:51,137
I have a sticky note
on my refrigerator
100
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:54,064
which reminds me every day
to do just that.
101
00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,643
(chuckles) -
When did you decide to focus your research
102
00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:57,898
- on quantum...
- Um, Sheldon, I think
103
00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,105
you're kind of dominating
the conversation.
104
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:02,899
Why don't you let your
meemaw talk to Dr. Sturgis.
105
00:04:03,869 --> 00:04:05,531
Oh, I'm sorry. By all means.
106
00:04:05,746 --> 00:04:06,577
Thank you.
107
00:04:07,414 --> 00:04:09,406
- Connie?
- Yes, John.
108
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:13,334
Do you smell like chlorine
on purpose?
109
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,047
You sure I can't give you
a ride home?
110
00:04:18,258 --> 00:04:19,999
I can throw your bike
in the back of my pickup truck.
111
00:04:20,218 --> 00:04:23,131
Thank you, no.
I-I enjoy the night air.
112
00:04:23,597 --> 00:04:24,257
Plus,
113
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:25,384
hot dogs and spaghetti
114
00:04:25,599 --> 00:04:27,090
is a highly caloric event
115
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:30,268
that demands an aerobic
effort on my part.
116
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:33,100
Well, it was a pleasure
spending the evening with you.
117
00:04:33,315 --> 00:04:34,431
We should do it again sometime.
118
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,015
Great. When?
119
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:37,065
How about tomorrow?
120
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:38,893
(sputters) You know what,
we'll figure it out.
121
00:04:39,112 --> 00:04:41,354
Come on, let me see you
to your Schwinn.
122
00:04:42,032 --> 00:04:42,818
Bye.
123
00:04:43,158 --> 00:04:44,274
- Good night.
- (chuckles)
124
00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:47,159
Well, that was
the most stimulating dinner
125
00:04:47,370 --> 00:04:48,827
I've ever had in this house.
126
00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,075
Glad you enjoyed it.
127
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:52,077
That man is a true role model.
128
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,709
Well, it's nice you finally
got a man you can look up to.
129
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,536
Oh, believe me, I know.
130
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:07,839
You gonna keep it
all bottled up,
131
00:05:08,058 --> 00:05:09,799
- or you want to talk about it?
- What?
132
00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:11,676
I'm fine.
133
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:12,760
There's nothing to talk about.
134
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:14,390
- You sure?
- Yeah.
135
00:05:15,273 --> 00:05:16,389
Sweet dreams.
136
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:25,732
You know you want
to talk about it.
137
00:05:25,951 --> 00:05:27,067
You saw it.
138
00:05:27,285 --> 00:05:29,402
My own son can't even imagine me
being a role model?
139
00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,157
How am I supposed to
be okay with that?
140
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,239
You're a role
model for Georgie.
141
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:34,574
I used to be.
142
00:05:34,960 --> 00:05:36,997
Now he wants to grow up
and be Tony Danza.
143
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:39,124
Did you forget you
have a daughter
144
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,671
who would really benefit
145
00:05:40,882 --> 00:05:43,044
from having a good
man to look up to?
146
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:44,967
Oh, dear Lord.
147
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,589
- Yo u did forget.
- (scoffs)
148
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,512
I didn't forget. I just...
149
00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,468
I don't know how
to spend time with her.
150
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:52,258
It ain't rocket
science, George.
151
00:05:52,477 --> 00:05:53,433
She's a little girl.
152
00:05:53,645 --> 00:05:54,806
Ask her what she wants to do,
153
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:56,387
and then do it with her.
154
00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,689
Oh, yeah. I suppose.
155
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,855
Trust me. She'll be thrilled
to spend some time with you.
156
00:06:02,571 --> 00:06:03,277
Okay.
157
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,153
Yeah, I'll give it a try.
158
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:10,617
Hey, when we do, you know,
whatever it is she likes to do,
159
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,070
you're gonna be there, right?
160
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:13,287
No.
161
00:06:15,709 --> 00:06:16,916
Well, this just got harder.
162
00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:18,621
(groans)
163
00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:25,086
Meemaw?
164
00:06:26,261 --> 00:06:27,342
Meemaw!
165
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,341
What?
166
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,179
I've been researching things
167
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,053
that you and I can do
with Dr. Sturgis.
168
00:06:33,268 --> 00:06:34,304
There's a lecture tonight
169
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:35,885
at Rice University called
170
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,811
"What's happening
at the center of our galaxy."
171
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,389
Let me just stop you
right there.
172
00:06:39,608 --> 00:06:41,816
Don't worry. I know
what's happening at the center,
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00:06:42,027 --> 00:06:43,438
but I would never spoil it
for you.
174
00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,478
Look, I know you're invested
175
00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:47,154
in me and John
having a relationship,
176
00:06:47,365 --> 00:06:48,822
and I'm not saying we won't.
177
00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:51,901
But it ain't gonna happen
with you always underfoot.
178
00:06:52,162 --> 00:06:53,448
Have I been underfoot?
179
00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,322
Honey, in order for grown-ups
180
00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:57,952
to get to know each other,
181
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:00,159
they need to have
some alone time.
182
00:07:01,212 --> 00:07:04,080
What if I'm around,
but I took a vow of silence?
183
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,835
Go home and have your breakfast.
184
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,550
And then she said for grown-ups
185
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,843
to get to know each other,
186
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,717
they have to have time alone.
187
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,594
Makes sense. What else?
188
00:07:13,975 --> 00:07:17,594
Apparently my being underfoot
isn't conducive to romance.
189
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,348
This is very helpful.
190
00:07:19,564 --> 00:07:20,680
Thank you.
191
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:22,106
I'm at your service.
192
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,607
Oh, Celeste, why do you always
193
00:07:31,826 --> 00:07:32,942
fall for bad boys?
194
00:07:33,787 --> 00:07:34,493
GEORGE SR.:
Hey.
195
00:07:34,704 --> 00:07:35,410
Hi, Dad.
196
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,908
What you doing?
197
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:38,079
Am I in trouble?
198
00:07:38,541 --> 00:07:41,329
No, no.
Just-just checking in on you.
199
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:42,705
Why?
200
00:07:43,254 --> 00:07:45,291
'Cause you're my daughter
and I love you.
201
00:07:45,924 --> 00:07:47,210
This is getting weird.
202
00:07:47,425 --> 00:07:49,382
It is. I was just
thinking that, uh,
203
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:50,880
you and me, you know,
204
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:52,303
we don't spend much
time together.
205
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,513
You know, we should
find something to do,
206
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:55,965
just-just two of us.
207
00:07:56,184 --> 00:07:57,470
- Like what?
- You tell me.
208
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,552
What-what sounds fun?
209
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,518
I'd like to be taken to dinner.
210
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:06,100
Great. Where?
211
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:09,194
To the fanciest restaurant
in all of Texas.
212
00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:10,896
Which is...?
213
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:14,075
Red Lobster,
where the surf meets the turf.
214
00:08:15,912 --> 00:08:16,743
You got it.
215
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:17,866
Thanks, Dad.
216
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,243
Mom, you got to
take me shopping!
217
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,869
I need a dress!
218
00:08:22,836 --> 00:08:25,328
(phone rings)
219
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,003
Yeah?
220
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,298
Connie, this is John Sturgis.
221
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,670
Well, hello, John Sturgis.
222
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:31,921
How are you?
223
00:08:32,387 --> 00:08:34,504
I chipped a tooth
on a peach pit this morning,
224
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,840
but otherwise, I'm okay.
225
00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,299
Good. Good to hear it.
226
00:08:38,518 --> 00:08:39,884
Next order of business.
227
00:08:40,103 --> 00:08:42,345
I would like to have dinner
with you tonight,
228
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,679
just the two of us.
229
00:08:44,315 --> 00:08:47,683
Oh, well, that sounds nice.
230
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,063
What'd you have in mind?
231
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:54,156
I'd like to come to your house
and cook you a Szechuan feast.
232
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:55,570
I'm sorry, a what?
233
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:56,821
Szechuan.
234
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,620
It's a style
of Chinese cooking I learned
235
00:08:59,831 --> 00:09:01,823
when I was traveling
through China.
236
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,867
Well, wonderful.
I would love that.
237
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,918
Great. Do you have a wok?
238
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:08,830
I do not.
239
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:10,043
Not a problem.
240
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:11,374
I have a travel wok.
241
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:13,630
Okay.
242
00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:16,883
Uh, so, uh,
what do you say about 6:00?
243
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:18,134
It's a date.
244
00:09:18,349 --> 00:09:19,260
Terrific.
245
00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:23,136
Oh, and, um, let's not
mention this to Sheldon
246
00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:25,971
so as to keep him
from being underfoot.
247
00:09:27,150 --> 00:09:28,357
Have you been talking to him?
248
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,605
I have. See you later.
249
00:09:32,947 --> 00:09:35,690
(chuckles)
250
00:09:37,869 --> 00:09:40,202
Do I really need to get
dressed up to go to Red Lobster?
251
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,904
You're getting dressed up
for your daughter.
252
00:09:42,123 --> 00:09:44,740
And that's a new shirt,
so be sure to ask for a bib.
253
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:45,824
Oh!
254
00:09:49,464 --> 00:09:50,625
I'm ready.
255
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,923
You're going to
dinner wearing that?
256
00:09:53,301 --> 00:09:55,588
I think you mean
she looks beautiful.
257
00:09:57,013 --> 00:09:58,174
You look beautiful.
258
00:09:58,389 --> 00:09:59,800
Why thank you, George.
259
00:10:00,517 --> 00:10:02,099
How 'bout we stick
with "Dad" tonight?
260
00:10:02,393 --> 00:10:04,055
Okay, but you call me Melissa.
261
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,646
After you, Melissa.
262
00:10:08,191 --> 00:10:09,181
Thanks, George.
263
00:10:09,901 --> 00:10:11,142
(bicycle bell rings)
264
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:22,449
♪♪♪ ♪
265
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,331
(chuckling):
Oh, my.
266
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,132
I know, I look like
267
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,302
a Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtle.
268
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:39,924
Well, come on in.
269
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,682
Sheldon, come in the kitchen
for dinner.
270
00:10:47,939 --> 00:10:49,896
- Can I eat out here?
- Why?
271
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:53,018
Dr. Sturgis is having
a dinner date with Meemaw.
272
00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:54,272
I don't want to miss it.
273
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:56,023
(sighs)
Fine.
274
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,317
ADULT SHELDON: During that time,
I saw three cars drive by
275
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:03,949
and a raccoon dragging
a slice of pizza.
276
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:12,712
("Small Town"
by John Mellencamp playing)
277
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,788
♪♪ I was born in a small town ♪♪
278
00:11:16,342 --> 00:11:17,298
Uh, table for two.
279
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:18,709
No problem.
280
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,304
♪♪ Probably die in a small town ♪♪
281
00:11:22,557 --> 00:11:23,673
Allow me.
282
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:26,008
You are allowed.
283
00:11:29,355 --> 00:11:30,141
Thank you.
284
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,642
Yes, thank you.
285
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:33,853
If I may.
286
00:11:35,904 --> 00:11:38,442
♪♪ My job is so small-town... ♪♪
287
00:11:38,656 --> 00:11:40,192
So what do you think?
288
00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,775
I think we might
be underdressed.
289
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:45,782
♪♪♪ ♪
290
00:11:48,499 --> 00:11:50,411
♪♪ Ain't no woman
like the one I've got ♪♪
291
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:53,745
The trick to a successful
Szechuan dinner
292
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,420
is the Szechuan pepper.
293
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:56,876
Okay.
294
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,794
Now, you may notice
295
00:11:59,010 --> 00:12:01,343
your lips and tongue
getting numb.
296
00:12:01,763 --> 00:12:03,629
Then why are we eating it?
297
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:05,381
'Cause it's yummy.
298
00:12:05,975 --> 00:12:07,386
(chuckles) Sure.
299
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,386
So, what were you doing
wandering around China?
300
00:12:10,605 --> 00:12:14,770
Well, when I'm not doing
research or teaching,
301
00:12:15,443 --> 00:12:18,277
I enjoy taking the
path less traveled.
302
00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:21,026
I'm guessing it's a bike path.
303
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,449
- As a matter of fact, it was.
- (chuckles)
304
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:26,027
Everybody in China
rides bicycles.
305
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,657
It's fantastic.
306
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:29,989
- Did you see the Great Wall?
- I did.
307
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,616
Interesting fact:
308
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,833
it's filled with
the dead bodies
309
00:12:34,045 --> 00:12:35,331
of the people
who built it.
310
00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,288
You don't say.
311
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:39,624
Hundreds of thousands of them.
312
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:41,003
Here, taste.
313
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:42,588
♪♪ Can fill me up ♪♪
314
00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,548
If it's just the two of us,
why can't I eat watching TV?
315
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,758
'Cause you're having dinner
with your mother
316
00:12:49,978 --> 00:12:51,685
and it's a chance
for us to talk.
317
00:12:52,146 --> 00:12:54,229
Sheldon's having dinner and
looking out the window.
318
00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:55,890
Want me to have him join us?
319
00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:56,724
No.
320
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,150
Then quit complaining.
321
00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:02,028
So what do you
want to talk about?
322
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,731
Um, I don't know.
323
00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:05,111
How's school?
324
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,572
It's school;
it's a turd fest.
325
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:09,869
Charming.
326
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:12,281
Are you dating anyone?
327
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:14,659
Nah, nobody up to my standards.
328
00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,201
Sure.
329
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,291
Can I ask you
a question?
330
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:20,498
Course, you can
ask me anything.
331
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,925
Were you pregnant with me
when you married Dad?
332
00:13:24,637 --> 00:13:27,129
Um... why would you ask that?
333
00:13:27,765 --> 00:13:28,551
Sheldon said so.
334
00:13:28,766 --> 00:13:29,722
How would Sheldon know?
335
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,721
- He did the math.
- What math?
336
00:13:31,936 --> 00:13:33,723
He said the time
between my birthday
337
00:13:33,938 --> 00:13:35,975
and your wedding day
was six months.
338
00:13:36,274 --> 00:13:38,687
Um... yeah.
339
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,189
That's because you...
340
00:13:41,863 --> 00:13:43,820
were born premature.
341
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:45,523
I've seen my birth certificate,
342
00:13:45,908 --> 00:13:47,399
it said I weighed nine pounds.
343
00:13:48,119 --> 00:13:49,326
Yes, that's true.
344
00:13:50,371 --> 00:13:53,455
You were a big fat preemie.
345
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:56,078
Let's talk about
something else.
346
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:57,159
Why?
347
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,835
'Cause I'd very much like to.
348
00:14:00,798 --> 00:14:02,414
And then Heather B
said she didn't want
349
00:14:02,633 --> 00:14:04,465
to play tetherball
with Heather M anymore.
350
00:14:04,677 --> 00:14:06,418
Wait. Th-There's two Heathers?
351
00:14:06,637 --> 00:14:07,468
Oh, yeah.
352
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,670
Which one's which?
353
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:09,967
Heather B
is stuck up.
354
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,719
Heather M used
to be stuck up,
355
00:14:11,934 --> 00:14:13,766
but then she got
a scoliosis brace.
356
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,469
Maybe she shouldn't
be playing tetherball.
357
00:14:16,064 --> 00:14:18,021
That's what Heather B said.
358
00:14:20,068 --> 00:14:21,104
This is delicious,
359
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:24,357
but you were not kidding
about the spice.
360
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:25,904
I'm about to break
a sweat here.
361
00:14:26,115 --> 00:14:28,198
(laughs)
Well, here's something
362
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:29,991
you might find interesting.
363
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:33,492
Spicy food is typically
found in warmer climates
364
00:14:33,706 --> 00:14:35,368
because it
induces sweating,
365
00:14:35,583 --> 00:14:37,996
which in turn,
cools people off.
366
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,244
So what does the runny nose
do for me?
367
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:43,084
It allows me to, uh,
368
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:46,800
gallantly offer you
my handkerchief.
369
00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:48,256
You are such a gentleman.
370
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:49,427
When I was younger,
371
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:51,756
I read a book
on etiquette.
372
00:14:52,141 --> 00:14:53,382
That's how I know
373
00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:55,388
that if I ever have an
audience at the Vatican,
374
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:58,562
I should wear evening
attire or a sack coat.
375
00:14:58,773 --> 00:15:01,311
(laughs) I don't know
what a sack coat is,
376
00:15:01,526 --> 00:15:04,735
but I'm sure
you'd look handsome in it.
377
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:06,986
Thank you.
378
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:13,281
You know, it's a long
bike ride at night.
379
00:15:14,956 --> 00:15:15,912
If you want...
380
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,082
you're welcome to stay.
381
00:15:19,377 --> 00:15:22,666
No, it's fine, I-I have
a headlight on my bicycle.
382
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:24,793
Oh, sure, sure.
383
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:29,835
Although, I hear
it might rain.
384
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:33,881
No worries. I have
a pocket poncho.
385
00:15:34,725 --> 00:15:35,966
So you do.
386
00:15:37,854 --> 00:15:38,935
John.
387
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:41,638
I'm inviting you
388
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,191
to spend the night.
389
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,521
Oh.
390
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,647
No, thank you.
391
00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:57,662
Don't they make babies
that are born too soon
392
00:15:57,874 --> 00:15:58,864
stay in the hospital?
393
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:02,914
Normally, yes, but you were born
394
00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,712
with such a great head
full of hair
395
00:16:05,923 --> 00:16:07,459
that they sent you home with us.
396
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:11,218
That's the first thing you've
said that makes sense.
397
00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:14,679
I'm glad we had dinner;
this was nice.
398
00:16:15,099 --> 00:16:16,431
Yeah, fun stuff.
399
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:19,972
Well, don't want to miss
Who's The Boss.
400
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:26,395
Lord, forgive me for lying.
401
00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:28,273
I'll tell him the truth
when he's 30. Amen.
402
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:30,024
(Who's The Boss theme music
plays on TV)
403
00:16:30,573 --> 00:16:31,984
Your lobster, madam.
404
00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:33,319
Thank you.
405
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:38,362
SERVER: Would you like me
to open it for her?
406
00:16:38,581 --> 00:16:39,867
GEORGE SR.:
Oh, I got it, thanks.
407
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:45,043
- You all right?
- This thing's freaking me out.
408
00:16:45,546 --> 00:16:47,162
Here, let me help you with that.
409
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,208
Here. Okay.
410
00:16:52,428 --> 00:16:54,545
The trick is not
to make eye contact.
411
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:55,800
Tell him.
412
00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:56,880
Here.
413
00:16:57,642 --> 00:17:00,885
All right, now,
we just... snap her off
414
00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:02,890
like that... pop.
415
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,522
Grab this guy here,
416
00:17:06,108 --> 00:17:07,064
and we crack the claw.
417
00:17:08,069 --> 00:17:09,981
And then you take out
a little meat...
418
00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:13,822
dunk it in some butter,
419
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:15,406
and then you eat it.
420
00:17:18,287 --> 00:17:19,277
Holy moly.
421
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:20,533
It's good, huh?
422
00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:21,659
Unbelievable.
423
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,115
I'll leave you to it.
424
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,581
No. Sit with me.
425
00:17:29,590 --> 00:17:30,250
Okay.
426
00:17:33,469 --> 00:17:36,132
When I grow up, I'm gonna
eat lobster every night.
427
00:17:36,472 --> 00:17:39,010
Well, hon, you better stay in
school and get a good education.
428
00:17:39,642 --> 00:17:41,759
I was thinking I'd
just marry a rich guy.
429
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,178
Sure, that's a way to go.
430
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:47,063
Or a guy who works
at Red Lobster.
431
00:17:47,692 --> 00:17:48,978
That's another way to go.
432
00:18:03,958 --> 00:18:06,416
You seem quiet.
Is everything okay?
433
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:09,043
Are you not interested in me?
434
00:18:09,380 --> 00:18:11,793
Of course I am.
I'm very interested.
435
00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:13,294
Then how come when I...
436
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:17,010
I invited you to spend
the night, I got rejected?
437
00:18:18,264 --> 00:18:19,550
I did do that, didn't I?
438
00:18:19,807 --> 00:18:21,548
Good Lord, yes.
439
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:23,224
I can explain.
440
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:24,597
Please do.
441
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:28,434
I didn't want you
to think that I would think
442
00:18:28,649 --> 00:18:29,890
that you were
the sort of woman
443
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,691
who would engage in coitus
444
00:18:31,902 --> 00:18:34,064
simply because I cooked you
a Szechuan dinner.
445
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,112
It was better
before you explained.
446
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,950
All right, let me try
a different tack.
447
00:18:43,539 --> 00:18:44,154
Connie.
448
00:18:44,373 --> 00:18:45,489
Oh, boy.
449
00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:47,202
Would you honor me
with an evening
450
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:50,001
of intimate relations?
451
00:18:51,088 --> 00:18:52,795
Well, that is
a different tack.
452
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:14,814
This is very promising.
453
00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:16,403
What's happening?
454
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:19,194
Dr. Sturgis's bike
is still at Meemaw's.
455
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:20,319
So?
456
00:19:20,534 --> 00:19:22,526
That means he probably is, too.
457
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:24,861
You need to get a life.
458
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,447
(gasps) There he is.
459
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:36,503
Mom, Mom, Mom.
460
00:19:36,717 --> 00:19:37,958
- What's wrong?
- What's going on?
461
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:40,760
Dr. Sturgis and Meemaw
had their first sleepover.
462
00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:42,883
It's a big step in
their relationship.
463
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,223
I'm going to go
congratulate them.
464
00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,725
Hey, put on a jacket,
it's chilly out.
465
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:49,094
Will do!
466
00:19:49,313 --> 00:19:50,804
Or try saying he can't go.
467
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:52,730
Oh, never mind,
you can't go!
468
00:19:53,401 --> 00:19:54,733
SHELDON: The last thing
I heard was jacket!
469
00:19:55,611 --> 00:19:56,818
(groans):
Oh.
31892
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