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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,922 --> 00:00:06,129 ADULT SHELDON: On any given day, 2 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,956 our school gymnasium 3 00:00:08,175 --> 00:00:10,508 presented a cocktail of horrors. 4 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:11,876 (screams) 5 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,337 From daily humiliation... 6 00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:19,304 ...to school-sanctioned violence... 7 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:20,176 BOY: Oh! 8 00:00:20,395 --> 00:00:23,934 But one day a year, the gymnasium was transformed 9 00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,811 into a haven of learning 10 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,359 thanks to a remarkable institution 11 00:00:28,570 --> 00:00:30,277 known as the science fair. 12 00:00:30,489 --> 00:00:33,357 A chance for the student body to come together 13 00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,487 in the name of research and progress. 14 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,659 Uh, while some did the bare minimum... 15 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:38,861 (burps) 16 00:00:40,123 --> 00:00:43,616 ...and others preferred razzamatazz over raw data, 17 00:00:44,336 --> 00:00:48,421 I set out to save humanity from deadly asteroids. 18 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,794 And made it all neatly fit on three poster boards. 19 00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:54,211 The science fair may be a competition, 20 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:58,048 but when the goal is promoting knowledge, we're all winners. 21 00:00:58,267 --> 00:00:59,007 PETERSEN: And the winner 22 00:00:59,226 --> 00:01:01,934 of the Medford High School Science Fair is... 23 00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:04,262 SueAnn Ludlow! 24 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,267 You've got to be kidding me! 25 00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:07,098 Shelly. 26 00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:08,566 (applause) 27 00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,063 You people are crazy! 28 00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:11,190 - Hey. - All right. 29 00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:12,646 SHELDON: You're celebrating mediocrity! 30 00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:13,820 (mouths) 31 00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,398 Mediocrity! 32 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,074 Mediocrity! 33 00:01:18,662 --> 00:01:21,405 ♪♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪♪ 34 00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:24,240 ♪♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪♪ 35 00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:27,076 ♪♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪♪ 36 00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,829 ♪♪ I am a mighty little man ♪♪ 37 00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:33,462 ♪♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪♪ 38 00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:37,883 I'll be in my room. 39 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:38,963 Oh, come on, Shelly. 40 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:40,673 You still got an honorable mention. 41 00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:42,383 Stop reminding me. 42 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:43,509 (sighs) 43 00:01:43,729 --> 00:01:45,846 I hate to see him so upset. 44 00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:48,181 Well, give him a little time, he'll calm down. 45 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:49,060 (door slams) 46 00:01:49,568 --> 00:01:50,854 SHELDON: Fiddle-faddle! 47 00:01:51,069 --> 00:01:52,025 The F word. 48 00:01:52,237 --> 00:01:53,398 He's real mad. 49 00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:55,401 You don't always win in life, he needs to learn that. 50 00:01:55,616 --> 00:01:57,903 I know, but these are big feelings for a little boy. 51 00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,404 They're feelings everybody has. 52 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:00,861 It's part of growing up. 53 00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:02,241 I guess. 54 00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:03,867 SHELDON: Poodle poop! 55 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:04,989 MEEMAW: Okay. 56 00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:05,994 Somebody's got to teach 57 00:02:06,209 --> 00:02:08,997 this kid to swear, it's embarrassing. 58 00:02:14,384 --> 00:02:15,340 Sheldon, listen, 59 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:16,801 I know losing ain't easy. 60 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,969 I deal with it on the football field all the time. 61 00:02:19,181 --> 00:02:20,092 (chuckles) 62 00:02:23,644 --> 00:02:26,352 It's like that big game we had last year against Nacogdoches. 63 00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,890 We were down 28 points at the half. 64 00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:31,565 It was raining, it was muddy. 65 00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:33,939 Everybody in the stands had gone home. 66 00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,316 But somehow, we managed to claw our way back 67 00:02:36,531 --> 00:02:38,022 to a tie with a minute left. 68 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,282 And then, they threw a Hail Mary, 69 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:41,450 and the receiver stepped out of bounds, 70 00:02:41,662 --> 00:02:42,948 but the ref didn't see it. 71 00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:47,040 After all that, we lose on a bad call. 72 00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,167 Believe me, I was furious. 73 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:52,920 But I sucked it up, 74 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,040 and I walked across that field and I shook their hands. 75 00:02:58,303 --> 00:03:00,636 I didn't hear a word you said. 76 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:03,472 Okay. 77 00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,683 So while an animal cell has a membrane, 78 00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,184 a plant cell has a membrane and a cell wall. 79 00:03:10,399 --> 00:03:11,640 SHELDON: Who cares? 80 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:13,478 Sheldon, what are you doing? 81 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,151 Being disrespectful, sir. 82 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:16,773 Ah. How come? 83 00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,901 Because I'm disillusioned with the school system. 84 00:03:20,951 --> 00:03:22,567 Georgie, do you know what's going on with him? 85 00:03:22,828 --> 00:03:24,945 Actually, I'm trying to ignore it. 86 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,072 Well, get your feet off the desk. 87 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:28,831 What if I don't? 88 00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:31,409 I was sent to see Principal Petersen. 89 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:32,835 What is it this time? 90 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,253 Youthful rebellion. 91 00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:37,172 My voice hasn't changed yet, but my attitude has. 92 00:03:37,551 --> 00:03:38,667 I'll let him know you're here. 93 00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:39,716 You do that. 94 00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:41,965 Ma'am. 95 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:46,348 (door closes) 96 00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:48,888 Sheldon Cooper's outside. 97 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:50,891 Who sent him now? 98 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,893 - Givens. - Well, you know what? 99 00:03:53,150 --> 00:03:54,857 Givens needs to man up. 100 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:55,812 Cooper's a little boy. 101 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,268 It's not hard to handle him. 102 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:58,193 I'll send him in. 103 00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,021 H-Hold on a minute, just... 104 00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,488 Does he know I'm in here? 105 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,359 SHELDON (over P.A.): Attention, students and faculty. 106 00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,694 Oh, no. 107 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:07,653 This is Sheldon Lee Cooper. 108 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:09,580 What the hell? 109 00:04:11,001 --> 00:04:13,835 We're taught that hard work pays off, but that's not true. 110 00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,752 I came up with a solution to save Earth 111 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:17,330 from killer asteroids, 112 00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,256 and lost the science fair 113 00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:22,006 to SueAnn Ludlow, and her frizzy hair machine. 114 00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:25,300 But it wasn't just me who lost, we all lost. 115 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:26,756 Wake up, people. 116 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,762 The system's broken. 117 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:31,094 Real innovation isn't valued. 118 00:04:31,396 --> 00:04:34,059 Nowadays, it's all about flash and style. 119 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,685 I blame MTV. 120 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,397 Luckily, my parents can't afford cable. 121 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:39,776 We can afford it. 122 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:43,234 I urge you all to rise up. 123 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,281 (grunts) 124 00:04:44,493 --> 00:04:45,324 They can't send everyone 125 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:46,651 to the principal's office. 126 00:04:46,870 --> 00:04:48,111 Chew gum in class, 127 00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:49,411 use a number one pencil, 128 00:04:49,623 --> 00:04:50,659 go nuts. 129 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,456 This is Sheldon Lee Cooper signing off. 130 00:04:52,751 --> 00:04:53,992 Live long and prosper. 131 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,327 You better run, you little punk! 132 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,505 (grunting) 133 00:05:00,675 --> 00:05:02,667 MEEMAW: I can't believe you sent him to bed without his dinner. 134 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:03,842 That's right. 135 00:05:04,054 --> 00:05:05,340 On spaghetti and hot dog night. 136 00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:06,966 - That's rough. - He's got to learn. 137 00:05:07,182 --> 00:05:09,094 Let's talk about something else. 138 00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:10,842 Georgie, how was your day? 139 00:05:11,061 --> 00:05:13,724 My brother told the entire school we can't afford cable. 140 00:05:14,064 --> 00:05:16,021 Oh, right. Missy? 141 00:05:16,233 --> 00:05:18,395 Good, until I learned we can't afford cable. 142 00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:20,192 (sighs) 143 00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:23,111 I've been thinking, and there's something I'd like to say. 144 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,523 Unless it's an apology, I don't want to hear it. 145 00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:28,116 I'm quitting science. 146 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,320 Not an apology. 147 00:05:30,539 --> 00:05:31,746 Spank him, Dad. 148 00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:42,130 I'm really getting worried about Shelly. 149 00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:44,216 Acting out, and now quitting science? 150 00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:46,635 Oh, I'm sure he'll get right back to it. 151 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:49,464 I've quit smoking and gambling plenty of times. 152 00:05:49,683 --> 00:05:50,799 Hmm. Look in my purse. 153 00:05:51,017 --> 00:05:53,760 Nothing but cigarettes and scratchers. (laughs) 154 00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:55,640 (sighs) Maybe he should talk to somebody. 155 00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:56,812 Not it. 156 00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,189 I meant a professional, George. 157 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,733 But way to be a dad. 158 00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,402 (door opens) 159 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:13,530 Hey. (chuckles) 160 00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:14,488 Welcome back. 161 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,916 Thank you for seeing us on such short notice, Doctor. 162 00:06:17,127 --> 00:06:18,243 Oh, not a problem. 163 00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:19,327 Sheldon, 164 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:20,457 I remember you. 165 00:06:20,672 --> 00:06:21,662 Do you remember me? 166 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:23,331 I remember everything. 167 00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:25,041 Okay. 168 00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:26,504 Uh, you two, make yourselves comfortable. 169 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,006 Me and my main man Sheldon are gonna go 170 00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:29,837 have a little chitchat in my office. 171 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,514 I don't like chitchat, and I'm not your main man. 172 00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:34,136 Right on. 173 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:35,593 Have fun. 174 00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:38,809 (door closes) 175 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,186 Now, Sheldon, I understand you've changed your mind 176 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,812 about being a scientist. 177 00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,152 And you're gonna say I can't? 178 00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:47,362 No. I think that's great. 179 00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:49,156 - You do? - Yeah. 180 00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,575 I think it's important to keep your options open. 181 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,027 Let me tell you a little story 182 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,408 about an extremely smart young boy. 183 00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:56,614 Me? 184 00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:57,698 Me. 185 00:06:58,209 --> 00:06:58,915 For the longest time, 186 00:06:59,127 --> 00:06:59,958 I thought I was gonna be 187 00:07:00,170 --> 00:07:01,661 a professional figure skater. 188 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,714 And then you became disenchanted with the field like I did? 189 00:07:04,925 --> 00:07:05,631 Exactly. 190 00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:07,504 Someone skated right over my foot. 191 00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:08,709 And that was that. 192 00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,219 I'm not sure that's the same thing. 193 00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:15,425 I'd say you lost your passion the way I lost my big toe. 194 00:07:16,603 --> 00:07:17,684 Hmm. 195 00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:22,898 Don't draw in that. 196 00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:25,397 Hey. We're all done. 197 00:07:25,820 --> 00:07:27,186 - How'd it go? - Great. 198 00:07:27,405 --> 00:07:28,896 I feel a lot better. 199 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,822 Well, that's just wonderful. 200 00:07:31,034 --> 00:07:32,400 So, you're going back to science? 201 00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:36,158 No. In fact, I'm going as far away from science as possible. 202 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:38,239 I plan to pursue the arts. 203 00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:39,869 What kind of arts? 204 00:07:40,085 --> 00:07:42,077 I've decided to become an actor. 205 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:45,129 Of course you have. 206 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:49,667 Why's he want to study acting? 207 00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,136 The doctor encouraged him to try something different. 208 00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,054 Maybe he'll learn to act normal. 209 00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:55,881 How about you learn to act nice? 210 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:58,764 - You people don't appreciate my sense of humor. - (chuckles) 211 00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:00,769 As long as he starts behaving himself in school, 212 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,768 I don't care what he does. 213 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,145 You know, I actually did a little community theater 214 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,350 back in my 20s. 215 00:08:06,569 --> 00:08:07,559 Is that so? 216 00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:09,816 I had a good part in Oklahoma. 217 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:12,865 ♪♪ I'm just a girl who can't say no. ♪♪ 218 00:08:13,076 --> 00:08:14,066 Say no to what? 219 00:08:14,285 --> 00:08:14,900 Well... 220 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,907 To, uh, eating her vegetables. 221 00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:18,784 It was fun. 222 00:08:18,999 --> 00:08:20,615 But I'm pretty sure doing plays 223 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:23,827 is just an excuse to change in front of each other backstage. 224 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,251 - Really? - Yeah. 225 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:27,955 Theater folk just love to take their clothes off. 226 00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:29,540 How many people saw you naked? 227 00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,590 A lot. 228 00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:31,963 - Mom. - Enough. 229 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:33,844 Y'all don't understand 230 00:08:34,055 --> 00:08:35,842 my sense of humor, either. 231 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:41,094 (indistinct chatter) 232 00:08:44,983 --> 00:08:46,940 Hello. Are you Mr. Lundy? 233 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:49,109 My father is Mr. Lundy. 234 00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,027 Well, then what should I call you? 235 00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,280 I guess Mr. Lundy. 236 00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,199 My father's dead. (laughs) 237 00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:59,119 I was told you're the head of the drama department. 238 00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:01,822 Mm-hmm, and the girls' volleyball coach, 239 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:05,001 which, between us, is the real drama department. 240 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,497 Was that a joke? 241 00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:08,333 I thought so. 242 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,627 Can I help you? 243 00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,294 I'm interested in becoming an actor. 244 00:09:14,512 --> 00:09:16,253 Well, good for you. 245 00:09:16,473 --> 00:09:17,930 You've come to the right place. 246 00:09:18,141 --> 00:09:20,349 You know, I-I've been a professional actor 247 00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:21,641 for years and years. 248 00:09:21,853 --> 00:09:23,469 Really? What have you been in? 249 00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,850 Well, have you seen the mattress madness commercials 250 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:27,398 on channel 68? 251 00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,858 I'm soft and firm 252 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:32,983 in all the right places. 253 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,482 Wow. You're famous. 254 00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:37,817 Well, I... 255 00:09:38,036 --> 00:09:40,323 And I was Carbucketty 256 00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:43,326 in the Dallas-Fort Worth Players production of Cats. 257 00:09:43,541 --> 00:09:44,156 (purrs) 258 00:09:44,375 --> 00:09:45,991 (laughs) Did you see that? 259 00:09:46,211 --> 00:09:47,998 No, I'm afraid of cats. 260 00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:50,671 Well, you realize the cats are just the actors. 261 00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:52,293 I still wouldn't risk it. 262 00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:54,918 You're an odd boy, but you make it work. 263 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,172 (chuckles) 264 00:09:56,387 --> 00:09:58,344 Anyway, uh, auditions are next week. 265 00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,172 - You're welcome to come on by. - Excellent. 266 00:10:00,391 --> 00:10:01,848 I checked out a book on acting 267 00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:03,722 so I should have the hang of it by then. 268 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:05,970 Well, I like that confidence. 269 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:09,227 Thank you. Most people find it off-putting. 270 00:10:10,735 --> 00:10:11,816 I can see that. 271 00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:17,489 ADULT SHELDON: To master acting, I immersed myself 272 00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:21,159 in all forms of the genre, from silent films 273 00:10:22,580 --> 00:10:24,492 to modern classics... 274 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:34,377 ...to logic-defying experimental work. 275 00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:36,375 ♪♪ It's great to stay up late... ♪♪ 276 00:10:36,594 --> 00:10:37,926 Why are they all singing? 277 00:10:38,263 --> 00:10:39,970 (mouth full): Because it's a musical. 278 00:10:40,181 --> 00:10:41,968 But why can't they just say it? 279 00:10:42,183 --> 00:10:44,721 Well, that wouldn't be very musical, would it? 280 00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:47,185 ♪♪ The stars were shining bright... ♪♪ 281 00:10:47,397 --> 00:10:49,138 And where is the music coming from? 282 00:10:49,524 --> 00:10:51,982 You're thinking about it too much. 283 00:10:52,193 --> 00:10:53,229 ♪♪ So, good morning ♪♪ 284 00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:54,605 ♪♪ Good morning... ♪♪ 285 00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:57,779 And how do they all know the same dance? 286 00:10:57,991 --> 00:10:59,402 - Come on. - Moonpie. 287 00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,574 ♪♪ To you and you and you and you. ♪♪ 288 00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,277 ANNOUNCER: And it is intercepted. 289 00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:07,406 Walking in is Kevin Smith for the touchdown. 290 00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:11,084 What are you looking for? 291 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,003 A brooch. 292 00:11:13,214 --> 00:11:14,546 What's a brooch? 293 00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,373 It's a piece of jewelry. 294 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,710 In my acting book, there's an exercise 295 00:11:18,928 --> 00:11:21,671 where you look for a missing brooch in a convincing way. 296 00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:22,671 Why? 297 00:11:22,891 --> 00:11:25,258 According to the story, it was given to me by a friend 298 00:11:25,476 --> 00:11:29,060 so I could afford to stay in drama school, but now it's gone. 299 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,771 Well, good luck finding it. 300 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:31,972 Thanks. 301 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:32,898 Wait. 302 00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,652 You really believed I was looking for something. 303 00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,775 I did it. 304 00:11:38,990 --> 00:11:39,980 I'm an actor. 305 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,486 You're a freak. 306 00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:45,786 Oh, where the heck is that brooch? 307 00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:49,407 GIRL: If I can change, 308 00:11:49,792 --> 00:11:51,374 and you can change, 309 00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,040 everybody can change. 310 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:55,537 Thank you, Eva. 311 00:11:55,757 --> 00:11:59,842 That was a-a lovely reading from Rocky IV. 312 00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,086 All right, Mr. Cooper. 313 00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:03,421 The stage is yours. 314 00:12:05,058 --> 00:12:05,798 Thank you. 315 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:09,677 I'd like to begin with a monologue from King Lear. 316 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:13,764 What? 317 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,817 I believe you're supposed to say "break a leg." 318 00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,109 Sorry. 319 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,104 Break a leg. 320 00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:27,036 Poor naked wretches, whereso'er you are, 321 00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:30,991 that bide the pelting of this pitiless storm. 322 00:12:31,417 --> 00:12:35,036 How shall your houseless heads and unfed sides, 323 00:12:35,380 --> 00:12:38,248 your looped and windowed raggedness defend you 324 00:12:38,466 --> 00:12:40,799 from seasons such as these? 325 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:45,554 Oh, I've ta'en too little care of this. 326 00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,970 Take physic, pomp. 327 00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:52,470 Expose thyself to feel what wretches feel, 328 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:55,022 that thou may shake the superflux to them 329 00:12:55,233 --> 00:12:59,022 and show the heavens more just. 330 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:02,358 Holy mackerel. 331 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:07,990 ♪♪ Don't cry for me, Argentina ♪♪ 332 00:13:08,204 --> 00:13:12,574 ♪♪ The truth is I never left you ♪♪ 333 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,000 ♪♪ All through my wild days ♪♪ 334 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:17,544 ♪♪ My mad existence ♪♪ 335 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:20,042 ♪♪ I kept my promise ♪♪ 336 00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:21,248 ♪♪ Don't keep ♪♪ 337 00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:24,881 ♪♪ Your distance... ♪♪ 338 00:13:25,096 --> 00:13:26,962 ("I've Got Rhythm" playing on piano) 339 00:13:27,724 --> 00:13:29,886 ♪♪ I've got daisies ♪♪ 340 00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,388 ♪♪ In green pastures ♪♪ 341 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,386 ♪♪ I've got my girl ♪♪ 342 00:13:34,605 --> 00:13:37,439 ♪♪ Who could ask for anything more ♪♪ 343 00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:40,021 ♪♪ Old man trouble ♪♪ 344 00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:42,068 ♪♪ I don't mind him ♪♪ 345 00:13:42,697 --> 00:13:44,529 ♪♪ You won't find him ♪♪ 346 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,157 ♪♪ Hanging 'round my door ♪♪ 347 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,701 ♪♪ I've got starlight ♪♪ 348 00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,405 ♪♪ I've got sweet dreams ♪♪ 349 00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,782 ♪♪ I've got my star ♪♪ 350 00:13:55,001 --> 00:13:56,833 ♪♪ Who could ask for anything more? ♪♪ 351 00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:58,456 ♪♪ Who could ask for ♪♪ 352 00:13:58,671 --> 00:14:02,540 ♪♪ Anything more? ♪♪ 353 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,541 Ah. (whoops) 354 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,678 That looked dangerous. 355 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,257 No, that looks dangerous. 356 00:14:11,476 --> 00:14:12,808 We're back. 357 00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,102 Hey. How'd the audition go? 358 00:14:15,313 --> 00:14:16,645 Great. I got the lead. 359 00:14:17,065 --> 00:14:17,851 You're kidding. 360 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,398 What's the play? 361 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:20,565 Annie. 362 00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,985 I need to go learn my lines. 363 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,908 Now, I was a little unsure at first, 364 00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,702 but Sandy Duncan does play Peter Pan, 365 00:14:32,914 --> 00:14:33,825 so when you think about it... 366 00:14:34,040 --> 00:14:34,746 Connie, you're not helping. 367 00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:35,743 Okay. 368 00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:39,122 (sighs) 369 00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:48,047 Hey. 370 00:14:49,305 --> 00:14:49,965 Hello. 371 00:14:51,265 --> 00:14:53,382 (sighs) I want to talk to you about this play. 372 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:55,179 I'm excited about it, too. 373 00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,395 You know, if you play the part of a girl, 374 00:14:58,606 --> 00:14:59,892 people might make fun of you. 375 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:01,974 Mr. Lundy's trying to push the boundaries 376 00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,650 of drama in East Texas. 377 00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:06,899 One way to do that is cross-gender casting. 378 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:08,272 Let me rephrase that: 379 00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,732 if you play the part of a girl, 380 00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:11,738 people will make fun of you. 381 00:15:11,953 --> 00:15:14,661 In Shakespeare's time, the men played all the female parts. 382 00:15:14,872 --> 00:15:15,783 No one made fun of it. 383 00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:17,079 If Shakespeare went to public high school, 384 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:18,702 it'd be a different story. 385 00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:20,750 You know, Sandy Duncan plays the part of Peter Pan... 386 00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:22,874 Yeah, yeah, I heard. 387 00:15:24,465 --> 00:15:25,581 (exhales) 388 00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:29,835 I'm trying to protect you, son. 389 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:31,837 I appreciate that. 390 00:15:32,223 --> 00:15:33,009 Good. 391 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,466 You're a football coach. 392 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:36,721 Isn't it your responsibility 393 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:38,928 to put in the best player for the job? 394 00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:40,771 I guess. 395 00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,103 Well, I want to do this, 396 00:15:44,735 --> 00:15:47,193 and Mr. Lundy said I was the best. 397 00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:51,273 Okay. 398 00:15:52,994 --> 00:15:54,860 Can you at least wear pants instead of a dress? 399 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:57,328 I'll give you a definite maybe. 400 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:05,962 Okay, who's excited? 401 00:16:06,174 --> 00:16:09,042 I don't want to see Sheldon's stupid play, it's humiliating. 402 00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,009 That's why I want to see it. 403 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:12,176 We're going to support your brother. 404 00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,675 Not another word about it. 405 00:16:16,893 --> 00:16:17,804 Can we at least sit in the back? 406 00:16:18,019 --> 00:16:19,055 Not a word. 407 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:23,393 Well, I'm excited. 408 00:16:28,279 --> 00:16:31,522 Okay, everybody, ten minutes to curtain. 409 00:16:31,741 --> 00:16:33,903 No smiling, girls, it's a hard knock life. 410 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,780 How you doing, Mr. Cooper? 411 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,861 You in touch with your inner Annie? 412 00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:39,196 I believe so. 413 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:41,281 Good. It's a packed house. 414 00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,457 (laughs) 415 00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:43,325 Wha... oh, what the heck? 416 00:16:43,544 --> 00:16:45,877 Katie? Katie. You're an orphan, 417 00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,413 sweetheart, not a coal miner. 418 00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:49,464 Let's tone that down, hmm? 419 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,092 (indistinct chatter) 420 00:16:54,096 --> 00:16:55,962 (heart beating rapidly) 421 00:17:01,729 --> 00:17:03,220 ♪♪♪ 422 00:17:04,190 --> 00:17:05,226 Oh, dear. 423 00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,099 I can't do this. 424 00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:08,649 What are you talking about? 425 00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,022 The play, I can't do it. 426 00:17:10,238 --> 00:17:11,649 There are too many people out there. 427 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,355 Oh, that is just stage fright. 428 00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:14,860 That's completely normal. 429 00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:17,113 No, this is a full-blown panic attack. 430 00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:18,694 All right, listen to me. 431 00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:19,911 You're feeling scared. 432 00:17:20,122 --> 00:17:22,956 I get that, but what you have to understand 433 00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,910 is you're not going out on that stage alone. 434 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:27,911 Everybody, gather around, hmm? 435 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:29,834 Uh, Sheldon, 436 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,086 have you ever been to the circus? 437 00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:32,916 Yes. 438 00:17:33,135 --> 00:17:33,875 Okay, good. 439 00:17:34,095 --> 00:17:35,586 I had a panic attack there, too. 440 00:17:36,514 --> 00:17:37,880 My point is, 441 00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:42,139 the trapeze artist always performs with a net 442 00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,557 to catch him, to protect him. 443 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:49,229 And you are protected by everyone standing here. 444 00:17:49,860 --> 00:17:52,819 Nothing can happen to you out on that stage, 445 00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,737 because we're a team. 446 00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:58,283 We are your net. 447 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:00,365 I don't know. 448 00:18:00,580 --> 00:18:01,616 (sighs) 449 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,698 Sheldon, come here. 450 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:05,957 You... 451 00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:08,209 are a star, 452 00:18:09,672 --> 00:18:10,879 and that audience 453 00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,959 deserves to see you shine. 454 00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:20,843 (audience applauds) 455 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,596 ADULT SHELDON: Mr. Lundy gave a compelling speech. 456 00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:27,224 The audience did deserve to see what they came for, 457 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,602 an eager boy bravely taking on 458 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,442 the role of Little Orphan Annie. 459 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:34,565 You're looking for a knuckle sandwich. 460 00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:38,573 And in that respect, they were not disappointed. 461 00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,738 Pipe down, all of you. 462 00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:42,403 Go back to sleep. 463 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,239 It's all right, Molly. 464 00:18:45,458 --> 00:18:46,619 Annie's here. 465 00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:47,995 (laughter) 466 00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,496 Oh, thank God. 467 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:52,462 I'd tell you how an East Texas audience 468 00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,380 in 1989 responded 469 00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,584 to a grown man playing Annie, 470 00:18:58,262 --> 00:19:00,003 but I think you know. 471 00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:01,554 Mm-hmm. 472 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,678 (whispers): What's my line? 473 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:10,931 ♪♪ The sun come out tomorrow ♪♪ 474 00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:14,894 ♪♪ Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow ♪♪ 475 00:19:15,112 --> 00:19:16,853 ♪♪ There'll be sun ♪♪ 476 00:19:17,073 --> 00:19:19,986 ♪♪ When I'm stuck with a day that's gray ♪♪ 477 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:22,067 ♪♪ And lonely ♪♪ 478 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:25,074 ♪♪ I just stick out my chin and grin ♪♪ 479 00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:28,327 ♪♪ And say ♪♪ 480 00:19:28,542 --> 00:19:30,124 ♪♪ Oh... ♪♪ 481 00:19:30,336 --> 00:19:31,952 I think I see his underpants. 482 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,378 I told you. 483 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:36,206 Theatre folk just love to show off their business. 484 00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:39,384 ♪♪ Always a day away ♪♪ 485 00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,804 ♪♪ Tomorrow, tomorrow ♪♪ 486 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,223 ♪♪ I love you, tomorrow ♪♪ 487 00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:49,269 ♪♪ You're always a day ♪♪ 488 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:58,856 ♪♪ Away. ♪♪ 489 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:01,907 (microphone feedback) 33942

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