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1
00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:05,783
A simile directly compares
two things,
2
00:00:05,816 --> 00:00:08,619
using the words "like" and "as."
3
00:00:08,653 --> 00:00:10,655
"I slept like a log."
4
00:00:10,688 --> 00:00:12,923
"I'm hungry as a horse."
5
00:00:12,957 --> 00:00:15,092
"Your love is like
bad medicine."
6
00:00:15,125 --> 00:00:16,226
Exactly.
7
00:00:16,260 --> 00:00:17,662
That's Bon Jovi.
8
00:00:17,695 --> 00:00:19,163
Okay.
9
00:00:19,196 --> 00:00:20,831
His hair is awesome.
10
00:00:20,865 --> 00:00:22,366
Moving on.
11
00:00:22,399 --> 00:00:25,836
Metaphors are different
from similes.
12
00:00:27,204 --> 00:00:30,307
I've been called a germophobe,
13
00:00:30,340 --> 00:00:33,944
but I do find
a single sneeze acceptable.
14
00:00:33,978 --> 00:00:36,280
It could be caused
by dust, allergies...
15
00:00:36,313 --> 00:00:39,283
really, whatever nasal irritant
floats your boat.
16
00:00:39,316 --> 00:00:41,418
However...
17
00:00:41,444 --> 00:00:43,847
during flu season...
18
00:00:46,957 --> 00:00:49,326
a second sneeze means
a plague is upon the land,
19
00:00:49,359 --> 00:00:51,095
and it's every man for himself.
20
00:00:52,797 --> 00:00:54,765
Where do you think
you're going?
21
00:00:54,799 --> 00:00:56,033
Away from you.
22
00:00:56,066 --> 00:00:57,034
Why's that?
23
00:00:57,067 --> 00:00:58,769
I want to live.
24
00:00:58,803 --> 00:01:01,438
I'm not sick.
Get back in your seat.
25
00:01:01,471 --> 00:01:03,040
No, thank you.
26
00:01:03,073 --> 00:01:05,109
You know the rules.
27
00:01:05,142 --> 00:01:07,044
You can't leave
without a hall pass.
28
00:01:07,077 --> 00:01:09,413
May I have a hall pass?
29
00:01:09,446 --> 00:01:10,681
No, you may not.
30
00:01:10,715 --> 00:01:12,449
Now get back in your seat.
31
00:01:12,482 --> 00:01:15,219
Rules
are the pillars of society.
32
00:01:15,252 --> 00:01:16,220
I love rules.
33
00:01:16,253 --> 00:01:18,789
But what benefit are rules
to a dead man?
34
00:01:43,428 --> 00:01:45,114
Excuse me.
35
00:01:45,161 --> 00:01:47,661
Do I look like
I'm getting sick to you?
36
00:01:47,695 --> 00:01:50,198
You look a little pale.
37
00:01:50,231 --> 00:01:52,633
Okay, good, that's normal.
38
00:01:52,666 --> 00:01:56,337
Now, I understand Sheldon
is an exceptional child,
39
00:01:56,370 --> 00:01:57,605
all right, but when he
40
00:01:57,638 --> 00:01:59,507
willfully disobeys
the order of a teacher,
41
00:01:59,540 --> 00:02:01,409
there needs
to be some consequences here.
42
00:02:01,442 --> 00:02:03,744
Oh, we couldn't agree more.
43
00:02:03,777 --> 00:02:05,346
What kind of punishment
are you thinking?
44
00:02:05,379 --> 00:02:09,283
Well, Mary, in a case like this,
a few days of detention.
45
00:02:09,317 --> 00:02:11,252
Really? That seems
a little harsh.
46
00:02:11,285 --> 00:02:13,321
Oh, detention's no big deal.
47
00:02:13,354 --> 00:02:16,857
Now, my principal used to
whup my ass with a paddle.
48
00:02:16,890 --> 00:02:18,326
That got my attention.
49
00:02:18,359 --> 00:02:20,561
Oh, yeah.
Those were the days.
50
00:02:21,629 --> 00:02:23,664
Still have mine.
51
00:02:23,697 --> 00:02:27,535
Ah.
52
00:02:27,568 --> 00:02:28,602
Ol' Spanky.
53
00:02:28,636 --> 00:02:30,638
Whoa.
54
00:02:30,671 --> 00:02:33,407
Got a real nice grip on that thing.
Yeah, George.
55
00:02:33,441 --> 00:02:36,377
Had the equipment manager over
at the Astros make this for me.
56
00:02:36,410 --> 00:02:38,879
The holes in it...
57
00:02:38,912 --> 00:02:40,881
cut down on wind resistance.
58
00:02:40,914 --> 00:02:42,683
Smart.
59
00:02:42,716 --> 00:02:45,219
But these days you have
to have a consent form
60
00:02:45,253 --> 00:02:46,787
to whack the kids.
61
00:02:46,820 --> 00:02:49,790
I don't know
where this world's headed.
62
00:02:49,823 --> 00:02:52,893
You ought to get one of those
for when Georgie acts up.
63
00:02:52,926 --> 00:02:54,795
Like you never thought
about going upside his head
64
00:02:54,828 --> 00:02:56,330
with a slab of wood.
65
00:02:57,531 --> 00:03:00,601
You know, there was a time
this thing gave me tennis elbow.
66
00:03:15,015 --> 00:03:17,618
Okay, Sheldon, come o...
67
00:03:17,651 --> 00:03:19,920
Where'd he go?
68
00:03:19,953 --> 00:03:21,355
Thataway.
69
00:03:49,082 --> 00:03:51,452
What you doing, kid?!
70
00:03:56,890 --> 00:03:58,959
Enjoy this. It is, by far,
71
00:03:58,992 --> 00:04:01,762
the most athletic two minutes
of my entire life.
72
00:04:09,503 --> 00:04:11,004
It's not funny.
73
00:04:11,038 --> 00:04:12,473
Oh, come on, now.
74
00:04:12,506 --> 00:04:15,476
Sheldon in detention...
that's funny.
75
00:04:15,509 --> 00:04:17,645
I actually think
it'd be good for him.
76
00:04:17,678 --> 00:04:19,480
He needs to learn
he's not special.
77
00:04:19,513 --> 00:04:21,549
But he is special.
78
00:04:21,582 --> 00:04:23,050
You know what I mean.
He can't just
79
00:04:23,083 --> 00:04:25,145
walk out of a classroom
'cause he feels like it.
80
00:04:25,146 --> 00:04:26,514
He was worried
about catching a cold.
81
00:04:26,547 --> 00:04:28,449
That is a legitimate concern.
82
00:04:28,483 --> 00:04:30,351
And now he's in danger
of being mugged
83
00:04:30,385 --> 00:04:32,720
by a roomful of hoodlums.
84
00:04:32,753 --> 00:04:34,755
He's not getting mugged.
85
00:04:34,789 --> 00:04:36,357
It's half a dozen kids
doing homework
86
00:04:36,391 --> 00:04:37,558
while a teacher watches 'em.
87
00:04:37,592 --> 00:04:40,295
Although it might not hurt
to give Sheldon a few dollars
88
00:04:40,328 --> 00:04:42,297
to buy himself some protection.
89
00:04:43,398 --> 00:04:45,233
That's actually not a bad idea.
90
00:04:52,773 --> 00:04:53,808
What are you doing?
91
00:04:53,841 --> 00:04:55,410
Nothing.
92
00:04:55,443 --> 00:04:57,812
Is that chewing tobacco?
93
00:04:57,845 --> 00:05:00,281
It's chocolate Bazooka.
What do you want?
94
00:05:00,315 --> 00:05:02,250
I have detention tomorrow,
95
00:05:02,283 --> 00:05:04,385
and I thought you could
give me some tips.
96
00:05:04,419 --> 00:05:07,222
That was pretty badass, you
walking out of class like that.
97
00:05:07,255 --> 00:05:10,591
It was not my intention to be
bad "A" word, but thank you.
98
00:05:10,625 --> 00:05:13,261
The only thing you need
to worry about in detention
99
00:05:13,294 --> 00:05:15,330
is staying close
to the teacher.
100
00:05:15,363 --> 00:05:17,765
If he leaves the room,
you go with him.
101
00:05:17,798 --> 00:05:19,367
Why?
102
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:21,769
'Cause you're gonna
get your "A" word kicked.
103
00:05:21,802 --> 00:05:25,240
Are you saying I'll be
in physical danger?
104
00:05:25,273 --> 00:05:26,741
It's all the worst kids
in school
105
00:05:26,774 --> 00:05:28,509
in one room for an hour.
106
00:05:28,543 --> 00:05:30,878
What do you think's
gonna happen?
107
00:05:30,911 --> 00:05:33,381
I thought we were gonna spend
the time regretting our actions
108
00:05:33,414 --> 00:05:36,417
and thinking about how we could
be better in the future.
109
00:05:36,451 --> 00:05:38,486
Well, you thought wrong.
Get lost.
110
00:05:38,519 --> 00:05:41,389
You're both mean
and nice to me.
111
00:05:41,422 --> 00:05:43,424
It's confusing.
112
00:05:51,732 --> 00:05:54,269
Maybe I'm doing this wrong.
113
00:05:58,939 --> 00:06:01,909
Have you ever been in detention?
114
00:06:01,942 --> 00:06:03,244
No.
115
00:06:03,278 --> 00:06:05,246
But I do take the school bus.
116
00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:07,282
And that is no party.
117
00:06:07,315 --> 00:06:09,750
It's like a mental hospital
on wheels.
118
00:06:09,784 --> 00:06:12,353
That's a good use of simile.
119
00:06:12,387 --> 00:06:13,521
Thanks.
120
00:06:13,554 --> 00:06:15,456
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
121
00:06:18,893 --> 00:06:20,495
I hope.
122
00:06:31,239 --> 00:06:34,775
Hello. I'm here
for detention.
123
00:06:34,809 --> 00:06:36,877
Where is the teacher?
124
00:06:36,911 --> 00:06:40,348
Not here yet.
125
00:06:40,381 --> 00:06:41,882
Oh.
126
00:06:46,854 --> 00:06:48,556
I have three dollars.
127
00:06:48,589 --> 00:06:50,458
Feel free to share it
with the others.
128
00:06:58,942 --> 00:07:00,677
Would you prefer
a piece of paper?
129
00:07:00,711 --> 00:07:02,679
I have some in my briefcase.
130
00:07:04,248 --> 00:07:05,916
It's here
if you change your mind.
131
00:07:05,949 --> 00:07:07,851
All right, losers,
you know how this works.
132
00:07:07,884 --> 00:07:10,287
One hour, no talking,
no horseplay.
133
00:07:10,321 --> 00:07:11,688
Sheldon?
134
00:07:11,722 --> 00:07:13,290
Hello, Mr. Givens.
135
00:07:13,324 --> 00:07:14,691
Why are you here?
136
00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:16,860
I didn't want to catch a cold
from Ms. MacElroy,
137
00:07:16,893 --> 00:07:19,696
so I left her classroom
without a hall pass.
138
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:21,832
Well, something is going around.
139
00:07:21,865 --> 00:07:24,401
I actually had a little tickle
in my throat.
140
00:07:24,435 --> 00:07:26,937
Okay, time to go.
Nice meeting you.
141
00:07:26,970 --> 00:07:28,472
Whoa, what-what are you doing?
142
00:07:28,505 --> 00:07:30,307
You've heard of
fight or flight?
143
00:07:30,341 --> 00:07:31,775
This is flight.
144
00:07:34,278 --> 00:07:36,247
Not so funny now, is it?
145
00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,249
No. How long
is he suspended for?
146
00:07:38,282 --> 00:07:39,350
A week.
147
00:07:39,383 --> 00:07:41,785
And it goes on
his permanent record.
148
00:07:41,818 --> 00:07:43,487
Well, that's no big deal.
149
00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:46,723
I had all kinds of stuff on my
permanent high school record.
150
00:07:46,757 --> 00:07:50,361
Didn't stop me from being
a bartender for eight years.
151
00:07:50,774 --> 00:07:53,777
I think the real issue we need
to deal with is his germ phobia.
152
00:07:53,810 --> 00:07:54,845
Oh, yes, you don't
153
00:07:54,878 --> 00:07:56,312
want him turning
into Howard Hughes.
154
00:07:56,346 --> 00:07:58,248
Growing his nails out.
155
00:07:58,281 --> 00:08:00,250
Peeing in a jar.
156
00:08:00,283 --> 00:08:03,219
Why would he pee into a jar?
I don't know why he peed in a jar,
157
00:08:03,253 --> 00:08:05,121
I just know he did.
158
00:08:05,155 --> 00:08:07,023
I hate to say it,
159
00:08:07,057 --> 00:08:08,959
but I think
we need help with this.
160
00:08:08,992 --> 00:08:10,326
Like what?
Maybe we could
161
00:08:10,360 --> 00:08:12,996
take him to that nice doctor
who calmed him down
162
00:08:13,029 --> 00:08:15,231
when he was convinced
he had an enlarged prostate?
163
00:08:15,265 --> 00:08:17,033
Sheldon only calmed down
when the doctor told him
164
00:08:17,067 --> 00:08:19,069
what happens in a prostate exam.
165
00:08:19,102 --> 00:08:20,370
Poor thing.
166
00:08:20,403 --> 00:08:22,272
Still talks about it.
167
00:08:24,975 --> 00:08:26,242
Thank you for seeing us,
Doctor.
168
00:08:26,276 --> 00:08:28,211
No problem.
169
00:08:28,244 --> 00:08:31,748
So, what do you got today,
Sheldon?
170
00:08:31,782 --> 00:08:34,084
Rickets?
Rabies?
171
00:08:34,117 --> 00:08:36,119
Early-onset menopause?
172
00:08:36,152 --> 00:08:37,721
Is he making a joke?
173
00:08:37,754 --> 00:08:39,222
I believe so.
174
00:08:39,255 --> 00:08:40,724
Humorous.
175
00:08:40,757 --> 00:08:42,826
Hmm.
Sheldon's not sick,
176
00:08:42,859 --> 00:08:45,428
but he has become overly
concerned with getting a cold
177
00:08:45,461 --> 00:08:47,864
or the flu.
Well, any symptoms...
178
00:08:47,898 --> 00:08:49,265
runny nose, achy,
179
00:08:49,299 --> 00:08:51,668
sore throat, fever?
No.
180
00:08:51,702 --> 00:08:54,805
All right, well, Sheldon,
if you do catch a cold,
181
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:58,274
or even the flu, it's...
it's not the end of the world.
182
00:08:58,308 --> 00:09:01,277
The flu was the end of the world
for half a million Americans
183
00:09:01,311 --> 00:09:03,446
during the influenza epidemic
of 1918.
184
00:09:03,479 --> 00:09:05,816
Really?
In India
185
00:09:05,849 --> 00:09:08,184
17 million people died.
186
00:09:08,218 --> 00:09:10,353
Okay, I think we're getting
off the subject. Doctor,
187
00:09:10,386 --> 00:09:12,122
Sheldon is afraid
to go to school
188
00:09:12,155 --> 00:09:13,223
because he might get exposed
189
00:09:13,256 --> 00:09:16,026
to some kind of bacteria
or virus.
190
00:09:16,059 --> 00:09:18,194
So he's got a phobia?
191
00:09:18,228 --> 00:09:20,230
It's not a phobia
if the threat is real.
192
00:09:20,263 --> 00:09:22,198
You're a doctor,
you should know that.
193
00:09:23,366 --> 00:09:26,269
Sheldon, you have
nothing to worry about.
194
00:09:26,302 --> 00:09:28,171
Even if you did get the flu,
195
00:09:28,204 --> 00:09:30,140
it's usually over in a week.
196
00:09:30,173 --> 00:09:33,844
Why are we getting medical
advice from a man who smokes?
197
00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:35,478
Sheldon.
O-Okay,
198
00:09:35,511 --> 00:09:37,948
I have patients
who are actually sick.
199
00:09:37,981 --> 00:09:40,050
Maybe we should wrap this up.
200
00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:42,218
How come you don't
get sick all the time?
201
00:09:42,252 --> 00:09:44,154
Well, I take precautions.
202
00:09:44,187 --> 00:09:47,858
I wash my hands,
I wear gloves and a mask.
203
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:01,071
So, Mom, how was your day?
204
00:10:03,339 --> 00:10:05,308
We're ignoring this?
205
00:10:05,341 --> 00:10:07,343
Okay.
206
00:10:16,352 --> 00:10:18,421
So pretty.
207
00:10:18,454 --> 00:10:20,323
What's going on?
208
00:10:20,356 --> 00:10:22,893
I'm not feeling so good.
209
00:10:24,294 --> 00:10:26,729
Biohazard! Biohazard!
210
00:10:27,563 --> 00:10:29,432
Sucker.
211
00:10:29,465 --> 00:10:31,301
In national news,
212
00:10:31,334 --> 00:10:35,371
an unusually early flu season
is buffeting the country.
213
00:10:35,405 --> 00:10:38,274
Doctors say the strain,
originating in China,
214
00:10:38,308 --> 00:10:40,844
is particularly severe.
215
00:10:40,877 --> 00:10:45,381
Children and the elderly
are most at risk.
216
00:10:45,415 --> 00:10:47,550
Sheldon, why are you still up?
217
00:10:47,583 --> 00:10:49,552
We're all gonna die!
218
00:10:49,585 --> 00:10:51,021
About the local cattle...
219
00:10:51,054 --> 00:10:52,222
This isn't funny!
220
00:10:52,255 --> 00:10:54,257
I know, baby, I know.
221
00:10:54,290 --> 00:10:58,361
But you need to
understand that sometimes
222
00:10:58,394 --> 00:11:00,831
the news says those things
just to scare people.
223
00:11:00,864 --> 00:11:02,332
Well, it's working!
224
00:11:02,365 --> 00:11:03,834
Come here.
225
00:11:03,867 --> 00:11:05,268
I know you don't
believe in this,
226
00:11:05,301 --> 00:11:07,137
but I'm gonna do it anyway.
227
00:11:08,471 --> 00:11:11,541
Lord, I pray for my son Sheldon
228
00:11:11,574 --> 00:11:14,310
that you protect him from
all illness and disease,
229
00:11:14,344 --> 00:11:17,313
and keep him healthy
and keep him safe,
230
00:11:17,347 --> 00:11:20,350
and protect him from
his head to his toes,
231
00:11:20,383 --> 00:11:23,153
inside and out. Amen.
232
00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:27,323
You're right.
I don't believe in that.
233
00:11:28,524 --> 00:11:33,129
But it did feel good. Thanks.
234
00:11:33,163 --> 00:11:36,332
In the Bible, that's called
a hedge of protection.
235
00:11:38,368 --> 00:11:40,303
Why do you keep smiling?
236
00:11:40,336 --> 00:11:44,307
You need to look
at your mask, baby.
237
00:11:45,909 --> 00:11:48,845
Missy?!
238
00:11:51,347 --> 00:11:53,349
We have to go to school,
and Sheldon doesn't?
239
00:11:53,383 --> 00:11:54,484
That's not fair.
Sure it is.
240
00:11:54,517 --> 00:11:56,552
Sheldon loves school
and can't go.
241
00:11:56,586 --> 00:11:59,055
You hate school
and have to. Fair.
242
00:11:59,089 --> 00:12:00,924
He still has
243
00:12:00,957 --> 00:12:02,425
to spend his day doing chores.
244
00:12:02,458 --> 00:12:04,427
Can't sit around
playing with his trains.
245
00:12:04,460 --> 00:12:06,496
Yeah, put him to work.
Good parenting, Dad.
246
00:12:06,529 --> 00:12:08,398
Oh, I'm glad you approve.
247
00:12:08,431 --> 00:12:10,300
I do.
248
00:12:10,333 --> 00:12:12,402
Where you going?
249
00:12:12,435 --> 00:12:14,404
I'm gonna give Sheldon
a list of chores.
250
00:12:14,437 --> 00:12:16,239
You're actually
taking my advice?
251
00:12:16,272 --> 00:12:17,373
Yes.
252
00:12:17,407 --> 00:12:18,608
Well, how about that?
253
00:12:18,641 --> 00:12:22,145
Hey, you were due.
254
00:12:23,546 --> 00:12:26,149
Proud of you, George.
255
00:12:34,024 --> 00:12:35,425
Sheldon?
256
00:12:35,458 --> 00:12:37,160
Yes.
257
00:12:37,193 --> 00:12:39,662
The door's locked.
Can you open it?
258
00:12:39,695 --> 00:12:42,065
No.
259
00:12:42,098 --> 00:12:44,467
What on earth?
260
00:12:54,544 --> 00:12:56,479
Hello.
What are you doing?
261
00:12:56,512 --> 00:12:59,615
I made a real germ-proof
hedge of protection.
262
00:12:59,649 --> 00:13:02,485
Oh, honey,
you can't stay in there.
263
00:13:02,518 --> 00:13:05,621
I've got a refrigerator,
I've got my sleeping bag,
264
00:13:05,655 --> 00:13:08,524
and anything else I need
I can make out of Legos.
265
00:13:08,558 --> 00:13:11,394
What's with
the Halloween costume?
266
00:13:13,596 --> 00:13:16,432
In case of a breach.
267
00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:19,469
Stay right there.
268
00:13:19,502 --> 00:13:21,071
That's my plan.
269
00:13:21,104 --> 00:13:23,106
George?
270
00:13:26,576 --> 00:13:29,412
Just when you think
he's gonna zig,
271
00:13:29,445 --> 00:13:31,181
you get a big old zag.
272
00:13:31,214 --> 00:13:33,116
It's ridiculous. I'm...
I'm gonna take it down.
273
00:13:33,149 --> 00:13:35,285
No, you can't force him out
of a phobia.
274
00:13:35,318 --> 00:13:36,586
What do we do?
275
00:13:36,619 --> 00:13:37,954
He can't live in there.
276
00:13:37,988 --> 00:13:39,222
Well, actually, he can.
277
00:13:39,261 --> 00:13:41,169
He's got the refrigerator
and a sleeping bag.
278
00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:43,306
And he can always
go potty in the sink.
279
00:13:43,339 --> 00:13:46,876
I think I'll take
the kids to school.
280
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:49,012
I'm sure he'll be out
by the time you get home.
281
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:51,414
Not sure why you
think that, but okay.
282
00:13:51,447 --> 00:13:53,850
Mom?
Yes, Shelly.
283
00:13:53,883 --> 00:13:55,151
Can you close the door?
284
00:13:55,184 --> 00:13:57,153
I need to use the sink.
285
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:05,261
Tammy Cook?
Here.
286
00:14:05,294 --> 00:14:07,997
Georgie Cooper?
Here.
287
00:14:08,031 --> 00:14:10,399
Sheldon Cooper? Absent.
288
00:14:10,433 --> 00:14:12,535
Where's your brother?
Home.
289
00:14:12,568 --> 00:14:14,137
Is he okay?
290
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:15,238
Yeah, he's just...
291
00:14:16,372 --> 00:14:19,208
Actually, it's not
looking good for him.
292
00:14:19,242 --> 00:14:20,977
He might not make it.
293
00:14:21,010 --> 00:14:23,512
Oh, that's terrible.
I know.
294
00:14:23,546 --> 00:14:25,882
I love him so much.
295
00:14:25,915 --> 00:14:29,886
If anything ever happened,
I don't know what I'd do.
296
00:14:29,919 --> 00:14:32,055
Aw.
297
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:39,829
Shelly, if you don't mind
298
00:14:39,863 --> 00:14:42,899
me asking, what's your long-term
plan here? I'm working
299
00:14:42,932 --> 00:14:44,433
on the math to turn the garage
300
00:14:44,481 --> 00:14:46,578
into a self-sustaining
ecosystem.
301
00:14:46,579 --> 00:14:48,881
Okay. And what exactly does that mean?
Well, all I need
302
00:14:48,914 --> 00:14:51,817
is sunlight and a few seeds
to grow unlimited food
303
00:14:51,851 --> 00:14:54,787
which I'll fertilize
with my own feces.
304
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:56,822
This just gets better.
305
00:14:56,856 --> 00:14:58,824
If you're not gonna
help, please go inside.
306
00:14:58,858 --> 00:15:00,493
This is not a show.
307
00:15:00,526 --> 00:15:02,695
Now that's where I disagree.
308
00:15:03,963 --> 00:15:05,931
Shelly, baby,
please come on out.
309
00:15:05,965 --> 00:15:07,667
I can't.
310
00:15:07,700 --> 00:15:09,435
Come on.
I'm your mommy.
311
00:15:09,469 --> 00:15:10,903
Do it for your mommy.
312
00:15:10,936 --> 00:15:12,305
No.
313
00:15:13,573 --> 00:15:14,840
But I'm your mommy.
314
00:15:14,874 --> 00:15:16,842
Y'all are killing me.
315
00:15:18,644 --> 00:15:20,946
"I'm your mommy."
316
00:15:20,980 --> 00:15:25,618
I think the saddest part
about it is just how sad it is.
317
00:15:25,651 --> 00:15:27,720
Is there anything
that we can do?
318
00:15:27,753 --> 00:15:29,722
I don't know.
319
00:15:29,755 --> 00:15:31,557
A hug might help.
320
00:15:31,591 --> 00:15:33,593
Of course.
321
00:15:34,694 --> 00:15:36,329
What's wrong with you two?
322
00:15:36,362 --> 00:15:37,763
Don't you care
about my brother?
323
00:15:43,969 --> 00:15:45,871
Aw.
324
00:15:45,905 --> 00:15:49,875
Oh, Sheldon.
325
00:15:49,909 --> 00:15:51,877
That's it. I've had
enough of this nonsense.
326
00:15:51,911 --> 00:15:54,046
If you don't come out,
I'm coming in!
327
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:56,749
One, two,
328
00:15:56,782 --> 00:15:58,784
three.
Breach! Breach!
329
00:15:58,818 --> 00:16:02,555
You come here right this instant!
No.
330
00:16:02,588 --> 00:16:03,889
Oh!
331
00:16:09,362 --> 00:16:11,864
You can't run away
from me forever.
332
00:16:11,897 --> 00:16:14,800
I don't have to do it forever.
Just till you get tired.
333
00:16:14,834 --> 00:16:16,402
Mary,
334
00:16:16,436 --> 00:16:17,903
I'm gonna run
and go get my video camera.
335
00:16:17,937 --> 00:16:19,372
Don't catch him till I get back.
336
00:16:19,405 --> 00:16:20,840
This is not a joke!
337
00:16:20,873 --> 00:16:22,675
Sheldon, get over here!
338
00:16:24,744 --> 00:16:27,380
Get over here.
339
00:16:27,413 --> 00:16:29,849
Sheldon Lee Cooper, get here.
340
00:16:29,882 --> 00:16:31,517
Right now.
341
00:16:31,551 --> 00:16:34,787
Oh, Lord, I think
I'm gonna wet myself.
342
00:16:34,820 --> 00:16:36,989
Get! You come here!
Sheldon Lee Cooper!
343
00:16:43,062 --> 00:16:45,831
Look at that.
344
00:16:45,865 --> 00:16:47,833
St. Mary drinking alcohol.
345
00:16:47,867 --> 00:16:51,337
God saw what just happened.
He gets it.
346
00:16:51,371 --> 00:16:54,940
Mind if I take a crack
at catching the Road Runner?
347
00:16:54,974 --> 00:16:56,842
What are you gonna do
that I couldn't do?
348
00:16:56,876 --> 00:16:58,511
Oh, a little trick I learned
349
00:16:58,544 --> 00:17:00,680
trying to get prairie dogs
out of the hole.
350
00:17:00,713 --> 00:17:03,416
Of course we'd whack off
their heads with a golf club.
351
00:17:04,384 --> 00:17:06,819
I'm not gonna do that
to Sheldon.
352
00:17:08,788 --> 00:17:11,424
Oh, Moon Pie,
353
00:17:11,457 --> 00:17:14,827
I've got a little treat for you.
354
00:17:14,860 --> 00:17:16,829
Chocolate chip?
355
00:17:16,862 --> 00:17:19,465
Mm-hmm, right out of the oven.
356
00:17:19,499 --> 00:17:21,867
Good. That means
they're sterile.
357
00:17:23,035 --> 00:17:25,938
Why don't you come on out here
and... have a couple?
358
00:17:25,971 --> 00:17:28,007
I can't do that.
359
00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:29,909
Okay, I tell you what.
360
00:17:29,942 --> 00:17:32,445
I'm gonna just put 'em
right out here,
361
00:17:32,478 --> 00:17:35,681
and you can come out
and get one when you're ready.
362
00:17:35,715 --> 00:17:38,451
How about that?
I'm gonna put 'em down
363
00:17:38,484 --> 00:17:40,953
right... here.
364
00:17:45,024 --> 00:17:46,125
Aah!
365
00:17:47,627 --> 00:17:48,928
Come on! Oh.
366
00:17:51,196 --> 00:17:52,965
Listen to me, buster.
367
00:17:52,998 --> 00:17:55,034
Okay.
You are
368
00:17:55,067 --> 00:17:56,469
a lot of things, Sheldon.
369
00:17:56,502 --> 00:18:00,039
You are cute, smart, hygienic.
370
00:18:02,908 --> 00:18:05,878
But most of all...
371
00:18:05,911 --> 00:18:09,682
you... are a Texan.
372
00:18:09,715 --> 00:18:11,016
So?
373
00:18:11,050 --> 00:18:12,485
So Texans
374
00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:14,887
aren't afraid of nothin'!
375
00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,122
Rattlesnakes, Indians,
376
00:18:17,156 --> 00:18:19,592
the Mexican Army.
377
00:18:21,093 --> 00:18:26,499
Do you imagine that Sam Houston
was scared of a little old cold?
378
00:18:26,532 --> 00:18:27,767
No.
379
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,735
Jim Bowie?
380
00:18:29,769 --> 00:18:31,036
No.
381
00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:34,740
Sissy Spacek?
382
00:18:34,774 --> 00:18:36,442
I... guess not?
383
00:18:36,476 --> 00:18:38,778
You're damn right,
because they're Texans
384
00:18:38,811 --> 00:18:40,546
through and through.
385
00:18:40,580 --> 00:18:43,015
Now I want you to quit hiding
in this plastic bubble,
386
00:18:43,048 --> 00:18:45,017
and I want you to
come out here and
387
00:18:45,050 --> 00:18:48,087
eat your cookies
out in the world like a man!
388
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,689
Like a Texan man!
389
00:19:11,577 --> 00:19:13,546
I'm impressed.
390
00:19:13,579 --> 00:19:14,379
Me, too.
391
00:19:14,413 --> 00:19:17,016
I thought I'd lost him
at Sissy Spacek.
392
00:19:17,049 --> 00:19:19,985
Whew!
393
00:19:23,260 --> 00:19:24,394
As you can see,
394
00:19:24,428 --> 00:19:27,197
my meemaw successfully
lured me back into the world
395
00:19:27,231 --> 00:19:31,502
by reminding me
of my brave Texas ancestors.
396
00:19:31,536 --> 00:19:33,704
Their blood ran
through my veins.
397
00:19:33,738 --> 00:19:37,241
I was a true son
of the Lone Star State.
398
00:19:37,274 --> 00:19:39,510
Albeit a true son
399
00:19:39,544 --> 00:19:42,146
with an incredibly fragile
immune system.
400
00:19:42,179 --> 00:19:45,850
I woke up the next morning
with a temperature of 102
401
00:19:45,883 --> 00:19:50,254
and a head packed full
of mucus.
402
00:19:50,287 --> 00:19:54,559
However, there was
a silver lining.
403
00:20:07,605 --> 00:20:09,574
Sing it again, Mom.
404
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:10,659
First, blow your nose.27814
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