Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,418 --> 00:00:03,284
("Home Computer"
by Kraftwerk playing)
2
00:00:05,297 --> 00:00:07,880
♪ I program my home computer ♪
3
00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,008
♪ Beam myself into the future. ♪
4
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:14,384
ADULT SHELDON: Power has
always been a deadly narcotic,
5
00:00:14,598 --> 00:00:16,089
and in 1989,
6
00:00:16,308 --> 00:00:19,051
RadioShack's Tandy 1000 SL
7
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,101
was my drug of choice.
8
00:00:22,648 --> 00:00:24,640
With an Intel 8086
9
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,144
running at eight megahertz
10
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:28,602
and a five-and-a-quarter-inch
floppy drive,
11
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:29,480
there was nothing
12
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:30,686
I couldn't do.
13
00:00:31,406 --> 00:00:32,692
From adding snazzy graphics
14
00:00:32,908 --> 00:00:34,149
to my homework...
15
00:00:34,952 --> 00:00:36,193
So snazzy.
16
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:38,657
...to easily alphabetizing
17
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,706
my list of enemies
and their crimes.
18
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,875
- So easy.
- (door sensor chimes)
19
00:00:45,796 --> 00:00:47,412
Sheldon, time to go.
20
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:49,247
We really need
to get one of these.
21
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,378
What on earth do we need
a computer for?
22
00:00:51,593 --> 00:00:53,550
Yeah, we got you
and your big head.
23
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:54,377
But we can get
24
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:55,677
so much accomplished.
25
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,005
I could use
a spreadsheet program
26
00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,715
to keep track of your expenses.
27
00:00:58,934 --> 00:01:00,516
I do that in the back
of my checkbook.
28
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:03,686
Yes, but does your checkbook
go "beep" when you open it?
29
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:04,850
I don't think so.
30
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:06,351
Plus, the computer
31
00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,899
can organize your recipes.
32
00:01:08,110 --> 00:01:09,726
But my recipes are organized.
33
00:01:09,945 --> 00:01:11,061
On index cards.
34
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,612
Like a cave person.
35
00:01:12,823 --> 00:01:14,735
Cave Mom.
I'm gonna call you that.
36
00:01:14,950 --> 00:01:16,282
(sighs)
It doesn't matter, Sheldon.
37
00:01:16,493 --> 00:01:17,984
We can't afford a computer.
38
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,490
Sure we can. It's only $998,
39
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,914
and Dave says we can buy it
on easy monthly payments.
40
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,115
That's true.
41
00:01:24,334 --> 00:01:25,245
Stay out of this, Dave.
42
00:01:25,961 --> 00:01:26,576
Come on.
43
00:01:26,795 --> 00:01:27,535
We got to get home.
44
00:01:27,754 --> 00:01:28,335
But...
45
00:01:28,547 --> 00:01:29,913
Sheldon, I said no.
46
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:30,918
I can make you a good deal
47
00:01:31,133 --> 00:01:31,919
on the floor model,
48
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:32,965
Mrs. Cooper.
49
00:01:33,176 --> 00:01:34,883
Seriously, Dave,
you're getting on my nerves.
50
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:36,924
It's not fair.
51
00:01:37,139 --> 00:01:38,675
You bought Missy a Ring Pop.
52
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:39,964
For ten cents.
53
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,425
- And I'm worth every penny.
- Let's go.
54
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:43,846
Sorry, Dave.
55
00:01:44,062 --> 00:01:45,428
We're living
paycheck to paycheck.
56
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:46,600
Move!
57
00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:49,974
(door sensor chimes)
58
00:01:50,652 --> 00:01:53,360
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
59
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:56,189
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
60
00:01:56,408 --> 00:01:58,775
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
61
00:01:58,994 --> 00:02:01,702
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
62
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:05,372
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
63
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,959
- Ah, RadioShack.
- Ah, RadioShack.
64
00:02:12,174 --> 00:02:14,131
Here it is, the Tandy 1000 SL
computer system.
65
00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:17,381
Sheldon was going on and on
about that thing today.
66
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:19,303
I've never seen one
so easy to use.
67
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,597
FEMALE VOICE: Greetings. Need
directions back to your planet?
68
00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:23,470
This technology is more advanced
than we thought.
69
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:24,846
GEORGE JR.:
You know that movie E.T.?
70
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,057
The kid who finds him,
his name is Elliott,
71
00:02:27,272 --> 00:02:29,514
which starts with an "E"
and ends with a "T."
72
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:30,852
Coincidence?
73
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,434
I don't think so.
74
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,652
You're gonna live
with us forever, aren't you?
75
00:02:35,364 --> 00:02:37,447
So, Sheldon wants
a computer?
76
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:38,564
Ever since he could talk.
77
00:02:38,784 --> 00:02:39,991
But now more than ever.
78
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:41,693
Well, he should get a job
after school.
79
00:02:41,912 --> 00:02:42,823
Save up and buy one.
80
00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:44,700
Get a job? He's nine.
81
00:02:44,915 --> 00:02:45,996
I mowed lawns
when I was his age.
82
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:47,164
Made pretty good money.
83
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,242
You want Sheldon to mow lawns?
84
00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,085
He's so pale,
five minutes in the sun,
85
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:52,787
he'd burst into flames.
86
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,292
I would pay to see that.
87
00:02:54,508 --> 00:02:55,373
Shut up, Georgie.
88
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:56,582
I hope you told him
89
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:57,588
we can't afford it.
90
00:02:57,803 --> 00:02:58,839
Of course.
91
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:00,503
I could buy it for him,
92
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,554
and then y'all could pay
me back when you can.
93
00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,508
Okay, Connie, now you're
just insulting me.
94
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:07,343
Well, that was not my intention,
95
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,144
but I'm glad to hear it.
96
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,596
I can pay my own bills
97
00:03:10,816 --> 00:03:11,852
and take care of my family.
98
00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,184
There are expenses
we could cut back on
99
00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:15,860
so we could afford a computer.
100
00:03:16,071 --> 00:03:17,607
You mean like the money
you give to church?
101
00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,738
No, I mean like
the money you give
102
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,486
to the Lone Star Beer company.
103
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:22,863
(chuckles) Good one, Mom.
104
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,034
- Shut up.
- Shut up, pumpkin. - Shut up.
105
00:03:24,246 --> 00:03:25,236
We're not getting a computer.
106
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:27,196
We don't need your money.
107
00:03:28,333 --> 00:03:29,323
Where are you going?
108
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,084
To get a... glass of milk.
109
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:33,752
He's lying. He's getting a beer.
110
00:03:33,964 --> 00:03:35,125
Shut up, Georgie.
111
00:03:35,799 --> 00:03:36,710
(refrigerator opens)
112
00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:43,971
Mom?
113
00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:46,557
Why are you still up?
114
00:03:47,060 --> 00:03:49,552
Madame Curie is on the roof,
115
00:03:49,771 --> 00:03:52,764
and she's not wearing her hat.
116
00:03:52,983 --> 00:03:54,269
You're just dreaming, baby.
117
00:03:55,026 --> 00:03:57,734
But she'll be cold
without her hat.
118
00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,903
I'll give her mine.
Now you go to sleep.
119
00:04:00,407 --> 00:04:01,648
Mm, thanks, Mom.
120
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:03,233
You're the best.
121
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,449
Oh, Lord.
122
00:04:17,883 --> 00:04:19,465
(sighs)
123
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,758
I'm guessing we're not having
our once-a-week.
124
00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,425
Sorry, I only have relations
with gentlemen I like.
125
00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:31,435
Oh, come on. You know how I feel
126
00:04:31,646 --> 00:04:33,478
about your mother meddlin'
in our finances.
127
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:35,977
She wasn't meddlin',
she was offering to help.
128
00:04:36,193 --> 00:04:38,059
And that computer
is not some silly toy.
129
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,065
Sheldon could use it
for his schoolwork,
130
00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,114
and I could use it to...
organize my recipes.
131
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:45,112
You already got 'em organized
on those little cards.
132
00:04:45,327 --> 00:04:46,488
Yeah, like a cave person.
133
00:04:46,703 --> 00:04:48,740
Well, it doesn't matter.
134
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:50,662
We can't afford it,
end of story.
135
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,165
Not exactly end of story.
136
00:04:53,877 --> 00:04:54,583
What's that mean?
137
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,627
I've been setting money aside
the last couple of years,
138
00:04:56,838 --> 00:04:58,420
and this might be a good use
for it.
139
00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:00,665
Money from what?
140
00:05:00,884 --> 00:05:02,466
You know, here and there.
141
00:05:03,261 --> 00:05:05,173
Bookkeeping for the church,
142
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:06,378
some seamstress work,
143
00:05:06,598 --> 00:05:08,510
birthday money
from my Aunt Zelda.
144
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,341
And just how much
of this "here and there" money
145
00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:11,641
you got saved up?
146
00:05:11,853 --> 00:05:13,469
Well, seeing as it's my money,
147
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,145
I don't think
that's any of your business.
148
00:05:15,357 --> 00:05:16,768
(chuckles):
None of my business?
149
00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:17,974
You see every nickel
150
00:05:18,193 --> 00:05:19,855
I make,
and you got secret money?
151
00:05:20,070 --> 00:05:21,811
It's not secret.
I just told you.
152
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:23,650
Where you hiding it?
153
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:26,323
(sighs) Well, now you're headed
into secret territory.
154
00:05:26,535 --> 00:05:28,401
Oh, okay.
155
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,779
Just so I'm clear,
my money's our money,
156
00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,283
but your money's your money.
157
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,159
That's right.
158
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:35,287
Oh, good to know.
159
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,335
I'm glad we're not having
our once-a-week
160
00:05:38,547 --> 00:05:40,129
'cause I am not in the mood.
161
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:43,462
Really?
162
00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,134
That's too bad.
163
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,927
Why? Are you?
164
00:05:47,305 --> 00:05:48,216
No!
165
00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,391
That was uncalled for.
166
00:05:57,357 --> 00:06:00,441
♪ Love can make you weep... ♪
167
00:06:01,069 --> 00:06:02,981
I forgot to tell you,
a girl called for you.
168
00:06:03,238 --> 00:06:04,024
What girl?
169
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,730
I don't know. A girl.
170
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:06,905
Well, what'd she say?
171
00:06:07,117 --> 00:06:09,325
It's hard to remember.
This was months ago.
172
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:12,285
Hey.
173
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:13,992
Two cases?
174
00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,539
You've got to be kidding me.
175
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:17,161
Don't worry,
I didn't use your money.
176
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:18,538
I used mine.
177
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,255
♪ Something so strong... ♪
178
00:06:23,466 --> 00:06:24,172
Finish your dinner
179
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,215
and then pack a bag.
180
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:26,634
We are going to Meemaw's.
181
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:27,793
Why?
182
00:06:28,013 --> 00:06:30,255
Because your mom and dad
need a break from each other.
183
00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,305
For how long?
184
00:06:32,517 --> 00:06:34,304
I don't know. Just pack.
185
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,059
Will I need earmuffs?
186
00:06:36,271 --> 00:06:37,603
Sure, if you want.
187
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,557
Although my almanac
does predict mild temperatures.
188
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:41,891
Then don't bring it.
189
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:43,859
I'll just bring my almanac.
190
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,356
You know what, I'll bring both.
191
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:46,896
(exhales)
192
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,322
Should I pack my toothbrush
193
00:06:48,533 --> 00:06:50,650
or use the one
I keep at Meemaw's?
194
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,030
I got this one.
195
00:06:52,621 --> 00:06:53,782
Nobody cares.
196
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,075
I don't want
to go to Meemaw's house.
197
00:06:56,291 --> 00:06:57,577
What if that girl calls back?
198
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,283
Fine, then stay here
with your father.
199
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:01,664
Sheldon and Missy, we are out
of here in half an hour.
200
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,624
Not a lot of time
to pick a toothbrush.
201
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:13,639
(doorbell rings)
202
00:07:19,481 --> 00:07:20,221
Come on in.
203
00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:22,101
Mom and Dad need a break.
204
00:07:22,317 --> 00:07:23,603
We don't know how long.
205
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,027
What's he got in there?
206
00:07:27,238 --> 00:07:28,445
Everything.
207
00:07:32,744 --> 00:07:35,782
SPORTSCASTER: First and ten in the
closing minutes of the fourth quarter...
208
00:07:35,997 --> 00:07:37,704
I ain't never
getting married.
209
00:07:38,917 --> 00:07:40,408
- That so?
- Yeah.
210
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:43,335
- Women are nothing but trouble.
- (phone ringing)
211
00:07:43,546 --> 00:07:44,457
I'll get it!
212
00:07:46,549 --> 00:07:48,256
Hello, Georgie speaking.
213
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:50,676
Did you run to the phone?
Do you feel stupid?
214
00:07:53,556 --> 00:07:54,592
Who was it?
215
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:56,091
Nobody.
216
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,175
This little tiff
217
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,602
between your mom and me
will blow over.
218
00:07:59,813 --> 00:08:01,020
Don't make a big deal of it.
219
00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:02,472
I'm not. I'm just saying
220
00:08:02,691 --> 00:08:04,227
I'm better suited
to the single life.
221
00:08:04,859 --> 00:08:05,975
And how do you picture that?
222
00:08:06,194 --> 00:08:08,106
Okay, well, you know the buffet
at Golden Corral,
223
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:09,277
where there's all kinds
of choices
224
00:08:09,489 --> 00:08:10,946
and you can have
as much as you want?
225
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:11,817
Yeah.
226
00:08:12,033 --> 00:08:14,525
It'll be like that,
only with hot girls.
227
00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:17,362
Georgie, I'll bet you
a thousand dollars
228
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:19,321
you're married before you're 25.
229
00:08:20,458 --> 00:08:21,448
You got a bet.
230
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:24,167
I feel like
I'm stealing your money.
231
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:29,420
ADULT SHELDON: Georgie married
his first wife at 19.
232
00:08:30,927 --> 00:08:32,793
He never paid my father.
233
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:36,089
Well, I got to tell you
how happy I am
234
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:38,924
that y'all are spending
the night with me.
235
00:08:39,144 --> 00:08:41,261
Your house smells
like cigarettes.
236
00:08:41,479 --> 00:08:42,310
So happy.
237
00:08:42,522 --> 00:08:43,933
Sheldon, we've
talked about this.
238
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,357
You don't need to announce
to people how things smell.
239
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:47,228
Hmm.
240
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:48,817
All right, you two, settle in.
241
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:51,146
Are you and Dad
gonna get a divorce?
242
00:08:51,364 --> 00:08:52,650
Of course not.
243
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,448
Are you sure?
Packing up your kids
244
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,400
in the middle of the night
and moving in with your mom
245
00:08:56,619 --> 00:08:58,576
has all the earmarks
of a divorce.
246
00:08:58,788 --> 00:09:00,495
We're not getting a divorce.
247
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:02,073
Okay, go to sleep.
248
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:03,703
Sweet dreams.
249
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:15,049
I can't believe Mom and Dad
had a fight over beer.
250
00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:17,421
I don't think
the fight was about beer.
251
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,302
I think there was
more subtext.
252
00:09:19,851 --> 00:09:21,387
You're probably right.
253
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:24,387
Then again,
I don't know what subtext is.
254
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,645
I don't want to get
in your business,
255
00:09:29,861 --> 00:09:31,318
but since you're
getting in my bed,
256
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:33,737
- I'm getting in your business.
- Go ahead.
257
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,564
When you leaving?
258
00:09:36,034 --> 00:09:37,366
Very funny.
259
00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,034
That wasn't a joke.
260
00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,986
I love you, and
I love the kids,
261
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,072
but I love you better
living across the street.
262
00:09:43,291 --> 00:09:46,079
Sorry the end of my marriage
is inconveniencing you.
263
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,535
Oh, don't be so dramatic.
264
00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:48,710
It's a little spat.
265
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:51,005
No, this was
a long time coming.
266
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:54,004
This goes to the very core
of our relationship.
267
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:55,880
I see we're sticking
with dramatic.
268
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,713
The minute he found out
I had money set aside,
269
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:00,423
he felt threatened.
And you know why?
270
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,884
'Cause it meant that I can
live independent of him.
271
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,719
Sleeping in your
mommy's bed?
272
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,395
You know what I mean.
273
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,478
You gonna buy Sheldon
that computer?
274
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:12,685
Well, now I have to.
275
00:10:12,904 --> 00:10:13,735
Got it.
276
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,791
You do know I still have
an active love life.
277
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,242
Just go to sleep.
278
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,166
On this very bed.
279
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,422
Oh, Mom.
280
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:44,300
What's for breakfast?
281
00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,135
I don't know. Grab
a bowl of cereal.
282
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,095
Mom usually makes us
eggs and toast
283
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,475
and the occasional meat.
284
00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,102
Well, Mom isn't here, is she?
285
00:10:51,609 --> 00:10:54,977
Whoa. Somebody woke up
on the wrong side of the bed.
286
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,445
And you had a choice
'cause you had the whole bed.
287
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:58,359
Georgie.
288
00:10:58,825 --> 00:11:00,282
Walking on thin ice.
289
00:11:00,702 --> 00:11:02,785
Maybe you should go across
the street and apologize.
290
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,366
I can't do that.
291
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,655
Why not?
292
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,828
'Cause if I do,
it sets a bad precedent.
293
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,784
What's Nixon got to do with it?
294
00:11:11,296 --> 00:11:11,956
What?
295
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,755
You said "bad president,"
like Nixon.
296
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:16,798
You know, this guy.
297
00:11:20,805 --> 00:11:22,091
You going to apologize?
298
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:24,636
Dad!
299
00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:25,925
Dad!
300
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:29,645
If you are, bring back meat!
301
00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:39,279
GEORGE JR.:
Hey.
302
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:41,357
I hope you're happy.
303
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:43,905
Thank you, Georgie.
That's very kind.
304
00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,531
Mom and Dad are fighting
because you want
305
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:47,158
to get a stupid computer.
306
00:11:48,166 --> 00:11:49,077
What are you talking about?
307
00:11:49,292 --> 00:11:50,408
Mom wanted
to buy it for you,
308
00:11:50,627 --> 00:11:51,492
Dad said they couldn't
afford it,
309
00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:52,747
Meemaw offered
to pay for it,
310
00:11:52,962 --> 00:11:54,703
and now I'm eating
pineapple spears for lunch.
311
00:11:55,131 --> 00:11:56,963
I hate making
my own lunch.
312
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:58,715
I'm sorry, Georgie,
I didn't know.
313
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,463
Yeah, well, now you do.
314
00:12:00,678 --> 00:12:01,668
What did you get?
315
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,175
A turkey sandwich Mom cut
in the shape of a heart,
316
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,631
a fruit cup, a brownie,
317
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,092
and a note from Meemaw saying
how much she loves me.
318
00:12:09,229 --> 00:12:11,516
I haven't read it yet,
but I bet it's a lot.
319
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,814
I don't even have
a can opener.
320
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:19,187
Oh, Sugar Apple,
I love you so much.
321
00:12:19,405 --> 00:12:22,148
Your affection for
inanimate objects frightens me.
322
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:23,824
I'm glad you're happy, Missy.
323
00:12:24,035 --> 00:12:27,574
I'm even happier that I got
a toy, and Sheldon got nothin'.
324
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:28,988
MARY: Well, now,
we're not exactly
325
00:12:29,207 --> 00:12:30,243
done shopping.
326
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:32,825
Sheldon, you still want
that computer?
327
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:34,956
I thought we couldn't
afford it.
328
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:36,412
Don't you worry about that.
329
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,042
Do you want it or not?
330
00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:39,752
More than anything.
331
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:42,335
All right, then,
let's go get it.
332
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,134
Wait. He gets a computer
and I get a lousy toy?
333
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,715
I thought you liked it.
334
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:49,015
Not anymore.
335
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:51,764
(sighs)
336
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,973
Where's the water come out of?
337
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:58,855
Well, seeing as that's
the dryer, nowhere.
338
00:12:59,445 --> 00:13:00,185
Hmm.
339
00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:02,900
So this one's the washer?
340
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:04,232
No foolin' you.
341
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:05,733
What are you doing?
342
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,944
Separating the whites
from the colors.
343
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:09,698
Whoa, that's racist.
344
00:13:10,665 --> 00:13:12,577
How did I get a rocket scientist
for one son
345
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,909
- and a rodeo clown for the other?
- Oh, man.
346
00:13:15,128 --> 00:13:17,620
I'd give anything
to be a rodeo clown.
347
00:13:18,172 --> 00:13:19,083
They make
people happy,
348
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,291
and they see the rodeo for free.
349
00:13:23,219 --> 00:13:24,585
(sniffs) Mmm.
350
00:13:27,015 --> 00:13:29,928
("Home Computer"
by Kraftwerk playing)
351
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:32,726
ADULT SHELDON: The home computer
I had long coveted
352
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,020
was finally in my possession,
353
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:38,566
but it was also destroying
my home.
354
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:41,310
Thankfully, it came pre-loaded
355
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:44,067
with a program to help solve
personal problems.
356
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,941
FEMALE ELECTRONIC VOICE:
Hello, I am Eliza.
357
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:50,327
My... parents...
358
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,039
are... fighting...
359
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:55,832
a lot.
360
00:13:56,919 --> 00:13:59,502
I see.
Can you elaborate on that?
361
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,751
My mother...
362
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,460
bought... me...
363
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,214
this...
364
00:14:07,597 --> 00:14:09,964
computer...
365
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:12,174
but...
366
00:14:12,393 --> 00:14:17,479
my dad... says... we can't...
367
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:20,228
afford it.
368
00:14:21,527 --> 00:14:23,735
Do you have issues
with your mother?
369
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:26,359
Mmm... (typing)
No.
370
00:14:26,574 --> 00:14:29,692
She... makes me...
371
00:14:29,911 --> 00:14:32,028
spaghetti...
372
00:14:32,246 --> 00:14:34,909
with hot dogs...
373
00:14:35,124 --> 00:14:37,036
cut up in it.
374
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,792
Can you elaborate on that?
375
00:14:40,671 --> 00:14:41,661
(sighs)
376
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,292
Are you...
377
00:14:43,508 --> 00:14:45,841
going to help me or not?
378
00:14:49,555 --> 00:14:51,512
Hello, I am Eliza.
379
00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:54,470
The future might be overrated.
380
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,137
Okay, water's
definitely on.
381
00:14:58,356 --> 00:14:59,346
Try it now.
382
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,022
We want delicate
or regular?
383
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,521
(grunts) It doesn't matter,
just turn it on.
384
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,693
Let's go with
delicate to be safe.
385
00:15:05,905 --> 00:15:07,237
(dial spinning)
386
00:15:08,491 --> 00:15:09,572
(sighs)
Nothin'.
387
00:15:09,784 --> 00:15:10,740
Damn it.
388
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:12,659
Wait, I know what to do.
389
00:15:13,079 --> 00:15:13,694
What?
390
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:15,825
Go across the street
and apologize to Mom.
391
00:15:16,874 --> 00:15:18,456
I got nothin' to apologize for.
392
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,500
You don't have to mean it.
I never do.
393
00:15:20,711 --> 00:15:21,997
Georgie, just mind
your business.
394
00:15:22,422 --> 00:15:23,208
Okay, sorry.
395
00:15:23,965 --> 00:15:25,172
In case you
were wondering,
396
00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:26,544
I didn't mean that.
397
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,084
See how easy it is?
398
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,093
(dial spinning)
399
00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:32,716
These home computers
are amazing.
400
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,423
I could start a real
bookkeeping business
401
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:35,883
with that thing.
402
00:15:36,102 --> 00:15:37,843
And that would go a
long way to giving you
403
00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:39,678
the financial independence
you're looking for.
404
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:41,138
Darn tootin'.
405
00:15:43,317 --> 00:15:44,899
Just for your information,
406
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,235
Sheldon is using the
computer right now
407
00:15:47,447 --> 00:15:49,063
to try and fix your marriage.
408
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:50,147
Really?
409
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,195
What did it say?
410
00:15:52,702 --> 00:15:53,818
It said...
411
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:56,574
(mechanically):
"Get out of your mother's house."
412
00:15:56,789 --> 00:15:58,075
- Mom.
- I'm serious.
413
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,281
I want a cigarette,
and I'm tired
414
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,786
of hiding behind
the garage.
415
00:16:01,002 --> 00:16:02,618
You think I should apologize
to George?
416
00:16:02,837 --> 00:16:05,295
Well, of course not. That would
set a terrible precedent.
417
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:06,747
I think you should
go back over there
418
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:08,252
to pick up some
clothes for the kids
419
00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:09,754
and be all cold
and distant,
420
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,505
so he has to
apologize to you.
421
00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,671
Oh, that's not bad.
422
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:14,963
Do it.
423
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:16,803
I will.
424
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:18,259
Why you drinking tea?
425
00:16:18,644 --> 00:16:20,636
(mechanically):
Get out.
426
00:16:30,615 --> 00:16:32,447
♪♪
427
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:33,739
(exhales)
428
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:40,322
(sighs)
429
00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:44,744
Oh, hello.
430
00:16:45,588 --> 00:16:46,578
Hey.
431
00:16:47,632 --> 00:16:48,873
Were you coming back, or...?
432
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,167
Just to get some clothes
for the kids.
433
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:53,968
Oh.
434
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:57,847
Were you coming to talk to me?
435
00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,468
Well... yeah.
436
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,012
I, um...
437
00:17:07,985 --> 00:17:09,442
...wanted to apologize.
438
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:12,779
Really?
439
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:14,985
♪♪
440
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:19,156
Want to go for a walk?
441
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,328
Talk a little?
442
00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:23,161
Sure.
443
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:31,081
Hey, kids, come here.
444
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:33,709
Look at that.
445
00:17:35,805 --> 00:17:38,764
It looks like your mom and dad
are gonna be all right.
446
00:17:39,141 --> 00:17:41,053
Does this mean
we're going home?
447
00:17:41,269 --> 00:17:42,635
It appears so.
448
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:45,679
I didn't even get to wear
my earmuffs yet.
449
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:52,603
And this program will allow us
to track our family finances,
450
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:55,610
create a budget, and
prepare tax documents.
451
00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:56,815
- That's impressive.
- Mmm.
452
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,445
Would you like to know
how much money
453
00:17:58,661 --> 00:18:00,243
you spend on beer annually?
454
00:18:00,454 --> 00:18:02,411
- No.
- I would. - (typing)
455
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:06,200
$936.
456
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:07,371
George.
457
00:18:08,671 --> 00:18:10,207
If you switched
to Hawaiian Punch,
458
00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,380
we could live in a bigger house.
459
00:18:13,301 --> 00:18:15,258
ELIZA:
Hello, I am Eliza.
460
00:18:15,469 --> 00:18:16,630
♪ I study nuclear science ♪
461
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,553
Eliza...
(typing)
462
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:19,504
♪ I got a crazy teacher ♪
463
00:18:19,724 --> 00:18:24,094
Are... you...
464
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:26,053
hot?
465
00:18:27,565 --> 00:18:29,431
In your fantasies, am I hot?
466
00:18:30,526 --> 00:18:32,893
Oh... yes.
467
00:18:33,112 --> 00:18:35,024
You realize you're not
talking to a real person.
468
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:37,356
Hey, get out of here.
I'm about to score.
469
00:18:40,536 --> 00:18:42,448
MARY:
Missy! Turn off the computer.
470
00:18:42,663 --> 00:18:43,494
Time to go to bed.
471
00:18:43,706 --> 00:18:45,698
I got to finish my homework!
472
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:48,750
Big money, big money.
473
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,327
♪ Things are going great ♪
474
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,583
Yes! (whoops)
475
00:18:52,798 --> 00:18:54,334
♪♪
476
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,257
♪ I'm doing all right ♪
477
00:18:56,469 --> 00:18:58,005
♪ Getting good grades ♪
478
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:00,086
♪ The future's so bright ♪
479
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,387
♪ I gotta wear shades ♪
480
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,806
Hello?
481
00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:05,217
♪ I gotta wear shades ♪
482
00:19:05,436 --> 00:19:06,267
Hello?
483
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,846
♪ I gotta wear shades. ♪
484
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:23,447
Oh.
485
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:25,615
What?
486
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,242
What? Nothin'.
487
00:19:33,631 --> 00:19:35,418
Button you pull, that's stupid.
33090
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
