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00:00:03,504 --> 00:00:05,587
ADULT SHELDON:
The average American consumes
2
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:08,414
55 pounds of beef per year.
3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,625
And then there's Texas,
4
00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:13,336
where we can knock that off
in a couple of months.
5
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:16,343
Maybe faster, if we're talking
about smoked brisket...
6
00:00:16,934 --> 00:00:18,470
♪ ♪♪ ♪
7
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,846
...curiously,
the one cut of beef
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00:00:24,066 --> 00:00:26,729
that Texans and Jews
agree upon.
9
00:00:29,154 --> 00:00:30,986
(mouth full): This is
really good, Meemaw.
10
00:00:31,365 --> 00:00:32,481
Really good?
11
00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,858
You're spitting the best
brisket in Texas
12
00:00:35,077 --> 00:00:36,363
all over the damn table.
13
00:00:36,578 --> 00:00:38,035
Close your mouth
when you eat.
14
00:00:38,247 --> 00:00:40,159
Or aim your face
the other way.
15
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,707
Connie, one of these days,
you got to give me the recipe.
16
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,788
You bet. For sure.
17
00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:47,165
- One of these days.
- Oh, come on.
18
00:00:47,381 --> 00:00:48,622
You can't hold on to it forever.
19
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:49,956
Mean that much to you?
20
00:00:50,175 --> 00:00:51,336
Mary and I were dating
about a month
21
00:00:51,552 --> 00:00:53,214
when she brought me
home for dinner.
22
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:54,551
I took one bite of this brisket,
23
00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:55,970
and I knew I loved
your daughter.
24
00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,422
Gee, thanks.
25
00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:58,506
Kind of like Sleeping Beauty,
26
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:00,057
except Dad kissed meat.
27
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:01,680
(chuckles)
28
00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:03,557
I tell you what.
29
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:04,770
You go get a...
30
00:01:05,524 --> 00:01:06,480
piece of paper and a pencil,
31
00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:07,773
I'll write it down for you.
32
00:01:07,985 --> 00:01:10,693
Okay. It's happening...
33
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:16,028
That's the fastest
I've seen him run.
34
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,155
It's the only time
I've seen him run.
35
00:01:20,122 --> 00:01:20,828
There you go.
36
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:21,870
Okay.
37
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,369
I might make it
this weekend.
38
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,079
Or you could try
a vegetable.
39
00:01:29,298 --> 00:01:30,960
Vegetable?
That's funny.
40
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:35,126
Okay.
41
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,503
Now, this is for
your eyes only.
42
00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:38,884
You're not to share it
with anybody.
43
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,681
I never... I would never.
44
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:48,640
You're a horrible person.
45
00:01:48,942 --> 00:01:50,524
- (chuckles)
- What'd it say?
46
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:51,772
I want to know
what it said.
47
00:01:51,987 --> 00:01:53,649
- Me, too.
- Just eat.
48
00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,230
Can I read it?
49
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:01,619
You are a horrible person.
50
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:02,991
Ain't I? (laughs)
51
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:03,866
All right, that's enough
52
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,368
about the brisket.
53
00:02:05,584 --> 00:02:07,746
You kids excited for
the church picnic tomorrow?
54
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:09,623
- Not really.
- I don't know.
55
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:10,999
Oh, come on.
56
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:13,171
You all saw the flier.
The three "F" s:
57
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:15,215
food, fun, and fellowship.
58
00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,129
MEEMAW:
And I'm bringing
59
00:02:16,345 --> 00:02:18,632
a big slab of my brisket.
60
00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:19,758
That's it.
61
00:02:22,017 --> 00:02:23,883
15 years in this family, and
all the time I've been nothing
62
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:25,885
but a good,
supportive son-in-law.
63
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,345
I always treated
your daughter right,
64
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,305
I gave you three
beautiful grandchildren.
65
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,891
Only thing I ever asked in
return was that damn recipe.
66
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:37,442
You're right.
67
00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:43,612
Get another piece of paper.
I'll write it down.
68
00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,037
Don't mess with me, Connie.
69
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,285
Get the paper before
I change my mind.
70
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:55,964
You're gonna do it
to him again, aren't you?
71
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:57,837
I kind of have to.
72
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:02,297
♪♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪♪
73
00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:05,179
♪♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪♪
74
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,886
♪♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪♪
75
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:10,813
♪♪ I am a mighty little man ♪♪
76
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:13,516
♪♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪♪
77
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,101
(cow mooing)
78
00:03:19,991 --> 00:03:22,529
(toilet flushes) - MARY: George,
she was just fooling with you.
79
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,326
GEORGE:
No, no, she's mean.
80
00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:25,745
She got a black heart.
81
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:26,992
MARY:
She does not.
82
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,823
GEORGE: Why do you
always side with her?
83
00:03:29,126 --> 00:03:30,583
MARY:
Well, she is my mother.
84
00:03:30,794 --> 00:03:31,910
GEORGE:
And there it is.
85
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:33,040
There's the problem.
86
00:03:33,255 --> 00:03:35,121
You should be siding
with me.
87
00:03:35,340 --> 00:03:38,253
- MARY: Over brisket?
- GEORGE: It's notjust brisket.
88
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,460
It's the way she's been
treating me since day one.
89
00:03:40,679 --> 00:03:43,296
Like I'm some kind of
loser, a booby prize.
90
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:46,011
- "Booby prize."
- MARY: What was that?
91
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,557
Georgie, you mind
your own business.
92
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:56,483
What did I do?
93
00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,820
What's going on?
94
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,527
Mom and Dad are fighting.
95
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,067
What about?
96
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:05,276
Brisket.
97
00:04:07,956 --> 00:04:09,163
If they get a divorce,
who do you think
98
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:10,831
you'll pick to live with?
99
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:13,830
Well, Mom, of course.
100
00:04:14,045 --> 00:04:15,752
I want Mom. Pick again.
101
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:17,330
(sighs)
102
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:19,757
♪ ♪♪ ♪
103
00:04:19,968 --> 00:04:21,254
I thought Dad was coming.
104
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:22,836
No, he had work to do.
105
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,421
- What kind of work?
- I don't know. Coaching stuff.
106
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,051
Can't he do it
after the picnic?
107
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:29,054
- No, Missy, he cannot.
- Why not?
108
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,305
Enough.
109
00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,562
How come Georgie's
not going?
110
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:36,983
He's grounded for eavesdropping
on me and your father.
111
00:04:39,321 --> 00:04:41,028
Well, I hope he learned
his lesson.
112
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,485
Is this about the recipe?
113
00:04:44,868 --> 00:04:47,326
I bet he's mad 'cause you
always side with Meemaw.
114
00:04:48,163 --> 00:04:49,449
And how would you know that?
115
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:51,122
Georgie told me.
116
00:04:51,333 --> 00:04:53,450
Are you and Dad
getting a divorce?
117
00:04:53,668 --> 00:04:55,000
'Course not.
118
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:58,166
Well, if you do,
I want to live with you.
119
00:04:58,381 --> 00:05:00,873
Sheldon, no one's
getting a divorce.
120
00:05:01,092 --> 00:05:02,333
But thank you, honey.
121
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:07,054
You know this
all goes away
122
00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,015
if you just give him your
recipe for the brisket.
123
00:05:10,227 --> 00:05:11,183
I know.
124
00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:12,806
And?
125
00:05:13,522 --> 00:05:15,639
I guess it's not going away.
126
00:05:19,778 --> 00:05:21,110
(football announcer speaking
over TV)
127
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,937
I wasn't
eavesdropping.
128
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,738
Don't worry about it.
129
00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,816
I just don't see why
I got grounded.
130
00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,367
What are you complaining about?
131
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:30,410
You didn't want to go
to church picnic anyway.
132
00:05:30,622 --> 00:05:32,659
I like complaining.
I'm good at it.
133
00:05:39,631 --> 00:05:40,963
I'll be right back.
134
00:05:42,551 --> 00:05:43,712
Mind if I have
a sip of your beer?
135
00:05:43,927 --> 00:05:46,260
You mind if I dip your head
in the compost heap?
136
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:49,380
You could have
just said no.
137
00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:52,433
♪ ♪♪ ♪
138
00:06:16,960 --> 00:06:18,326
- What are you doing?
- (gasps)
139
00:06:19,296 --> 00:06:20,912
Nothing!
Get out of here.
140
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,039
You're looking for
her brisket recipe.
141
00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:24,749
All of a sudden you got smart?
142
00:06:24,968 --> 00:06:26,004
I said get out of here.
143
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,676
I won't tell, I swear.
144
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:30,630
All right, help me look.
145
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:38,263
- Ooh.
- Found it?
146
00:06:38,481 --> 00:06:40,268
No, this is her French toast.
147
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,475
You're not looking
for French toast.
148
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:44,234
She does make it good, though.
149
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:45,937
Did you know
she puts vanilla extract
150
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:47,021
in her whipped cream?
151
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,572
I did not.
152
00:06:48,909 --> 00:06:49,865
Quarter teaspoon.
153
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:51,408
- Georgie?
- Yeah?
154
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,236
We're looking for brisket!
155
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:55,412
Cranky.
156
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,207
- (door opens)
- MARY: We're home.
157
00:07:02,464 --> 00:07:03,329
Be cool.
158
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,081
I'm cool. You be cool.
159
00:07:06,635 --> 00:07:08,467
(leather squeaking)
160
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:13,882
(chair clatters)
161
00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,424
Real cool.
162
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,539
He thought I wrote it down.
163
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:41,576
What a dope.
164
00:07:45,090 --> 00:07:48,333
MAN: Seltzer...
(continues speaking over TV)
165
00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,338
...hair tonic. Hair tonic.
166
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,797
(man continues speaking over TV)
167
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,506
Need help putting the kids down?
168
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,466
No, thank you, I've been
taking care of them all day.
169
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:58,927
I think I can
finish the job.
170
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:00,431
Oh, come on, don't do that.
171
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:02,013
Don't do what?
172
00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,100
Never mind.
173
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,152
Just so you know,
Sheldon and Missy won
174
00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:13,858
the three-legged race
because she told him
175
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:16,364
a bee was chasing them,
and you missed it.
176
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,992
I'm sorry, I-I just needed
a break from your mother.
177
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,699
Yeah, well, you took a break
from your family.
178
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:23,955
How long is this feud
between you two gonna go on?
179
00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:25,206
That's up to her.
180
00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,497
You are both such...
181
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:30,799
stubborn...
donkey butts!
182
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:32,752
- (Missy laughing)
- Missy!
183
00:08:32,971 --> 00:08:34,132
Go to bed.
184
00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,508
MISSY:
You don't know it's me.
185
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,431
(running footsteps, door closes)
186
00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:42,391
(crickets chirping)
187
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:43,437
Hey.
188
00:08:44,649 --> 00:08:45,856
What do you want?
189
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:48,392
Don't be that way.
190
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,943
I brought you a cold one.
191
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:52,821
Thanks.
192
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:54,280
I still don't like you.
193
00:08:54,492 --> 00:08:56,108
(chuckling)
194
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:03,491
Would this change
your feelings?
195
00:09:06,087 --> 00:09:06,952
Is that it?
196
00:09:07,464 --> 00:09:09,251
The Holy Grail.
197
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,086
What changed your mind?
198
00:09:15,305 --> 00:09:17,092
You not going
to the picnic today,
199
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,969
that hurt Mary
and the twins.
200
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,720
I cannot have that
on my heart.
201
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:23,219
- Is that so?
- Absolutely.
202
00:09:24,522 --> 00:09:25,729
Look me in the eye
and tell me
203
00:09:25,940 --> 00:09:28,023
this is the actual recipe.
204
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,936
George, what you have
in your hand
205
00:09:32,197 --> 00:09:35,281
is the exact
step-by-step instructions
206
00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:38,443
on how to make my brisket.
207
00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:41,946
I have never written it down
until tonight because...
208
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:45,749
I was afraid
someone might steal it.
209
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:48,870
But I'm entrusting
this to you,
210
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:52,799
and I hope that someday,
when the time is right,
211
00:09:53,009 --> 00:09:56,548
you will see fit to share it
with one of your children.
212
00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:57,970
Connie, I don't
know what to say.
213
00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,638
Don't call me Connie.
214
00:10:00,100 --> 00:10:02,763
- Call me Mom.
- (chuckles)
215
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:04,472
Thanks, Mom.
216
00:10:04,938 --> 00:10:06,725
You're welcome, son.
217
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,021
Mmm.
218
00:10:09,484 --> 00:10:11,225
♪ ♪♪ ♪
219
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:12,730
(quietly):
What a dope.
220
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,278
♪♪ What I want, you've got ♪♪
221
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:17,197
♪♪ And it might be
hard to handle ♪♪
222
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:19,650
♪♪ But like the flame
that burns the candle... ♪♪
223
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:22,031
ADULT SHELDON: The next morning,
my dad embarked
224
00:10:22,247 --> 00:10:25,490
on a doomed quest
to make the perfect brisket.
225
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:27,491
Can I help you?
226
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:29,164
Matter of fact, you can.
227
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:30,711
♪♪ You pull them
all together... ♪♪
228
00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:34,381
I need 12 pounds of prime Angus
with a medium deckle,
229
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:38,051
ideally slaughtered in the
spring, no later than mid-June.
230
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,598
♪♪ You make my dreams
come true... ♪♪
231
00:10:43,101 --> 00:10:44,308
ADULT SHELDON:
For the spice rub,
232
00:10:44,519 --> 00:10:46,306
Meemaw had him drive
to New Orleans
233
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:49,685
to buy ground coffee
from Café Du Monde,
234
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:53,442
and seven ounces of something
called "holy ghost root"
235
00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,149
from a voodoo woman
named Madam Laveau.
236
00:10:56,364 --> 00:10:57,320
♪♪ Yeah... ♪♪
237
00:10:57,699 --> 00:10:59,361
Could you grind my root for me?
238
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,908
I-I'm-a... I'm-a rub it
on brisket.
239
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,872
ADULT SHELDON: Then back home,
he applied the spice rub
240
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:17,253
with such erotic tenderness,
241
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:20,051
it made my mother
a little jealous.
242
00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,134
♪♪ Well, you... ♪♪
243
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:25,599
Finally, the cooking began.
244
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,348
♪♪ You make my dreams
come true... ♪♪
245
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,682
♪♪ Oh, yeah,
I've been waiting for... ♪♪
246
00:11:32,901 --> 00:11:35,939
14 hours of cooking.
247
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:37,527
And basting.
248
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,696
♪♪ You make my dreams
come true... ♪♪
249
00:11:39,908 --> 00:11:40,898
And spritzing.
250
00:11:41,117 --> 00:11:42,358
♪♪ Me, you, me, you, me... ♪♪
251
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:44,155
And tending to the fire.
252
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:50,578
♪♪ Oh, my, you make my dreams
come true... ♪♪
253
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:55,663
Until it was finally time
to let the meat rest.
254
00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,919
♪♪ Waiting for, waiting for,
waiting for ♪♪
255
00:11:58,134 --> 00:11:59,875
♪♪ Waiting for,
waiting for, waiting for ♪♪
256
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:02,381
♪♪ You make my dreams... ♪♪
Oh...
257
00:12:02,597 --> 00:12:04,304
Rest, my darling.
258
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:07,470
Rest.
259
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:11,554
Mmm. This Café Du Monde coffee
is very good.
260
00:12:11,940 --> 00:12:13,351
They make it with chicory.
261
00:12:14,275 --> 00:12:15,891
And what does it do
to the brisket?
262
00:12:16,194 --> 00:12:17,401
Oh, I have no idea.
263
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:19,353
Then...
264
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,985
why did you send George
all the way to New Orleans?
265
00:12:22,200 --> 00:12:24,237
Well, they don't sell this
around here.
266
00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:25,734
Mmm.
267
00:12:25,954 --> 00:12:27,365
Here we go.
268
00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:31,745
15 years and 14 hours later.
269
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:33,826
Best brisket in Texas.
270
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,050
GEORGE SR.:
Connie, you evil bitch!
271
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:44,595
It's smoother
than regular coffee.
272
00:12:45,556 --> 00:12:47,218
That wasn't the recipe.
273
00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:49,265
You looked me in the eye,
and you lied to me.
274
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:50,433
Oh, Mom.
275
00:12:50,645 --> 00:12:52,728
You broke into my home
and tried to steal it.
276
00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:53,895
Oh, George.
277
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,143
You told her we
went over there?
278
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:57,020
(gasps)
Oh, George Jr.
279
00:12:57,235 --> 00:12:58,942
I didn't say nothing.
I was cool.
280
00:12:59,153 --> 00:13:00,769
I am loving this.
281
00:13:00,989 --> 00:13:02,730
I don't want this woman
in my house anymore.
282
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,778
- She is my mother.
- She is the devil.
283
00:13:04,993 --> 00:13:06,734
And what if the kids
want to see her?
284
00:13:07,870 --> 00:13:08,610
Fine.
285
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:10,787
Schedule it
for when I'm not here.
286
00:13:10,999 --> 00:13:12,535
Or when I'm dead.
287
00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:22,087
And quit drinking my coffee.
288
00:13:31,477 --> 00:13:33,434
Turn off your train,
we've got to talk.
289
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,142
- (train stops)
- About what?
290
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,848
Mom is so upset
about Dad and Meemaw,
291
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,353
she might want a divorce.
292
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:40,976
No one's getting divorced.
293
00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:42,106
How do you know?
294
00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,608
(whistles)
295
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,405
Great, now I have
to throw that out.
296
00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:49,660
Mother-in-laws are always held
in low regard by the father.
297
00:13:49,871 --> 00:13:51,954
It rarely leads
to a breakup of the family.
298
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:53,163
MISSY:
He's right.
299
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,707
Fred and Wilma
are still happily married.
300
00:13:56,794 --> 00:13:57,500
I think if we can figure out
301
00:13:57,712 --> 00:13:59,624
a way for Dad to get
Meemaw's brisket recipe,
302
00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:01,080
this all goes away.
303
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:03,499
I don't see how
we can accomplish that.
304
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,046
(train clatters)
305
00:14:05,428 --> 00:14:06,168
Put that down.
306
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,423
That's not a toy.
307
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:08,378
Sure it is.
308
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:09,964
Choo choo.
309
00:14:10,641 --> 00:14:12,303
MEEMAW:
Choo choo...
310
00:14:12,769 --> 00:14:14,681
Choo choo.
311
00:14:15,438 --> 00:14:17,350
Open wide, Moonpie.
312
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:20,023
Here comes the choo choo train.
313
00:14:20,234 --> 00:14:22,146
Choo choo.
314
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,194
Mmm. Isn't that good?
315
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:25,316
(chuckles)
316
00:14:25,615 --> 00:14:28,699
That's Meemaw's famous brisket.
317
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,776
Would you like
the secret recipe?
318
00:14:30,995 --> 00:14:32,111
(gasps)
319
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,868
You promise not to tell anybody?
320
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,658
Of course you're not gonna
tell anybody.
321
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:41,211
I start with a tablespoon
of cumin,
322
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,756
and then a cup
of brown sugar, and...
323
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:46,209
I know the recipe.
324
00:14:46,636 --> 00:14:47,342
What?
325
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:48,543
She told it to me.
326
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:49,469
When?
327
00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,672
February 14, 1982.
328
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,349
I was 23 months old,
it was Valentine's Day,
329
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:55,767
and Mom and Dad
went out for dinner.
330
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,262
You were there.
Don't you remember?
331
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,055
(sighs)
332
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:03,017
(wind whistling softly)
333
00:15:03,444 --> 00:15:04,651
I got nothing.
334
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:07,104
You can really remember
when you were that little?
335
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:08,564
Uh-huh. You were there, too.
336
00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:10,490
You were still struggling
with potty training.
337
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:12,237
(chuckling):
I don't think so.
338
00:15:12,453 --> 00:15:15,571
Oh, yes. Meemaw used to call you
Mr. Soggy Pants.
339
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:16,530
Nuh-uh.
340
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,240
(laughs):
Mr. Soggy Pants.
341
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:19,950
Quit it. This is serious.
342
00:15:20,169 --> 00:15:22,001
Sheldon, you've got
to tell Dad that recipe.
343
00:15:22,505 --> 00:15:24,747
But Meemaw told me
it was a secret.
344
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,709
If you don't, and Mom and Dad
get a divorce, it's your fault.
345
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:30,051
All right.
346
00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:31,003
Fine.
347
00:15:32,807 --> 00:15:34,799
Good job, Soggy Pants.
348
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:36,717
(referee whistle blowing
over TV)
349
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,970
Dad, could you please
come into the living room?
350
00:15:40,523 --> 00:15:41,354
What for?
351
00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:42,682
My brain
did something impressive
352
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,562
and I'd like to share it
with you.
353
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:47,314
Hmm.
354
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:49,904
(George Sr. grunts)
355
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:54,569
What are you doing here?
356
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,112
Same as you.
357
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,117
I want to see
what his brain did.
358
00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:59,413
Please have a seat.
359
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,584
All right.
360
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:05,878
(grunts)
361
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,080
GEORGE SR.:
Well?
362
00:16:07,508 --> 00:16:09,545
I know Meemaw's brisket recipe.
363
00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:10,459
What?
364
00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:11,464
No, you don't.
365
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,136
Yes, I do.
366
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,134
And in order to bring peace
to this family,
367
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:16,931
I'm prepared to make it public.
368
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:17,929
You're bluffing.
369
00:16:18,144 --> 00:16:19,555
One tablespoon of cumin,
370
00:16:19,770 --> 00:16:20,760
one cup of brown sugar,
371
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,767
two tablespoons
of smoked paprika...
372
00:16:22,982 --> 00:16:23,893
Okay, okay, stop.
373
00:16:24,108 --> 00:16:24,939
No, no, no. Keep going.
374
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:26,767
How do you know
the recipe, Shelly?
375
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,820
Meemaw told it to me
on Valentine's Day, 1982.
376
00:16:30,031 --> 00:16:31,818
You were out with Dad
seeing Cannonball Run
377
00:16:32,033 --> 00:16:33,149
at the dollar theater.
378
00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,654
That's impossible, you weren't
even two years old.
379
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:37,406
Three tablespoons
of dried mustard,
380
00:16:37,622 --> 00:16:39,079
one cup of Lone Star beer...
381
00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:40,155
Okay.
382
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:42,874
Okay.
383
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:45,039
Go ahead.
384
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:47,166
Give it to your father.
385
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,001
I can write it down for you.
386
00:16:50,968 --> 00:16:52,334
That's okay,
I don't want it.
387
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:54,761
(quietly):
You have got to be kidding me.
388
00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:56,008
Connie, you've had
every opportunity
389
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,510
to give me that recipe
and you never did,
390
00:16:57,725 --> 00:16:59,307
because you've always
treated me like an outsider.
391
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,305
No, she has not.
392
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,601
Oh, of course I have.
393
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:02,973
See? She admits it.
394
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:05,013
- (sighs)
- Damn right, I do.
395
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:07,983
Never thought you were good
enough for my daughter.
396
00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:11,145
There you were, riding around
on that dumb motorcycle,
397
00:17:11,364 --> 00:17:12,104
knocking her up.
398
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,780
Why don't you kids
go in the kitchen
399
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,277
and fix yourselves
some ice cream?
400
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:16,984
I'm not going anywhere.
401
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:21,196
Hey. I get it.
402
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:23,494
I have a daughter.
403
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,327
I wouldn't want her bringing
home someone like that.
404
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,247
But I've come
a hell of a long way since then.
405
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:35,760
Okay, you're right.
406
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,425
George.
407
00:17:43,854 --> 00:17:45,095
I'm sorry.
408
00:17:48,234 --> 00:17:50,897
That means more to me
than any recipe.
409
00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:53,649
Come here.
410
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:56,323
(Meemaw chuckles)
411
00:18:01,163 --> 00:18:02,574
ADULT SHELDON:
Don't let the hug fool you.
412
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:06,124
The minute she went home,
he made me give him the recipe.
413
00:18:09,922 --> 00:18:13,006
Here we go, maiden voyage.
414
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,051
Mmm, mmm.
415
00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:18,504
Hot damn.
416
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:21,176
GEORGE SR.:
Hot damn.
417
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,718
(George Sr. moaning)
418
00:18:25,313 --> 00:18:26,429
Hot damn!
419
00:18:26,647 --> 00:18:28,980
MARY (laughs):
George! Language.
420
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:30,057
Sheldon.
421
00:18:30,985 --> 00:18:31,691
Want some?
422
00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:34,562
Uh, no, thank you.
I'm not hungry.
29286
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