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1
00:00:01,126 --> 00:00:03,368
ANNOUNCER: They've got
to stop them in this series.
2
00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:06,959
- Geez!
- Come on! - Damn it!
3
00:00:07,424 --> 00:00:09,757
ADULT SHELDON:
In Texas, the Holy Trinity
4
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:13,962
is God, football and barbeque,
5
00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,551
not necessarily in that order.
6
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:21,102
I don't care if you win,
just cover the damn spread.
7
00:00:21,313 --> 00:00:22,349
Mom, are you
betting again?
8
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:23,520
No.
9
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:24,688
ANNOUNCER:
...fans on their feet,
10
00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:25,856
trying to urge the defense on.
11
00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,184
Fourth down.
12
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:28,438
Gotta punt.
13
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:29,610
Gotta.
14
00:00:29,905 --> 00:00:32,192
Statistically, always
punting on fourth down
15
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:33,363
makes no sense.
16
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:35,157
Statistically,
you're a dumbass.
17
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:35,984
Hey.
18
00:00:36,203 --> 00:00:37,535
When the Aggies give up the ball
19
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:39,362
on their own five-yard line,
20
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,949
the opposing team has
a 92% chance of scoring.
21
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:44,875
When they punt from deep
in their own territory,
22
00:00:45,087 --> 00:00:48,546
the other team still has
a 77% chance of scoring.
23
00:00:48,757 --> 00:00:49,793
But since they convert
24
00:00:50,008 --> 00:00:52,671
on fourth down 50% of the time,
25
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,344
the math says they should
never punt again.
26
00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,347
Okay, you can tell me,
who's his real daddy?
27
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:06,389
Sheldon, I've been playing and
coaching football all my life.
28
00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:07,982
I don't think your math
is right.
29
00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:09,521
Really?
30
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:11,022
Hang on.
31
00:01:11,863 --> 00:01:12,728
No, it's right.
32
00:01:12,948 --> 00:01:14,405
ANNOUNCER:...able to hold A&M
to a field goal,
33
00:01:14,616 --> 00:01:16,073
they'll only be down six points.
34
00:01:16,285 --> 00:01:17,446
Is it your dentist?
35
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:19,072
The little guy
with the glasses?
36
00:01:19,538 --> 00:01:20,654
You can tell me.
37
00:01:21,707 --> 00:01:24,450
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
38
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:27,376
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
39
00:01:27,588 --> 00:01:29,921
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
40
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:32,749
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
41
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:36,257
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
42
00:01:41,602 --> 00:01:43,810
I got to tell you, I'm a little
worried about my mother.
43
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:45,637
She keeps betting on
these football games,
44
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,518
next thing you know,
there's an Italian fella
45
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,725
driving off with
her pickup truck.
46
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:54,191
You think
Sheldon's right?
47
00:01:54,573 --> 00:01:55,654
About what?
48
00:01:55,866 --> 00:01:58,028
The punting
and the math.
49
00:01:58,785 --> 00:01:59,901
I should think so.
50
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,112
He's been doing our taxes
since he's six years old.
51
00:02:02,331 --> 00:02:03,447
We never been audited.
52
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:05,288
That's true.
53
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,875
He even got us that
nice refund last year.
54
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:17,837
♪ I got some ocean front
property in Arizona... ♪
55
00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:20,463
How come Mom's
not taking me to school?
56
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:21,964
'Cause once in a while,
57
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,301
your dad wants to spend
some time with you.
58
00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:25,726
My little Shel-man.
59
00:02:27,522 --> 00:02:29,309
But Mom's car has a backseat.
60
00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:31,060
Statistically,
I'm much safer there.
61
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:33,108
Hey, I'm glad you brought up
statistically.
62
00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:35,607
You think those numbers you
talked about for Texas A&M
63
00:02:35,822 --> 00:02:37,313
would apply to
my JV squad?
64
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:39,320
I don't see why not.
65
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:43,495
Unlike our former principal,
math doesn't discriminate.
66
00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:47,077
You're not thinking about
taking his advice, are you?
67
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,375
- Never you mind.
- But he's wrong.
68
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:51,452
Everybody knows
you punt on fourth down.
69
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:54,255
Why does everybody knowing
something make it right?
70
00:02:54,675 --> 00:02:55,882
Because.
71
00:02:58,261 --> 00:03:00,344
That's what makes
this country great.
72
00:03:01,139 --> 00:03:02,004
ADULT SHELDON:
Many years later,
73
00:03:02,224 --> 00:03:04,181
my brother would use
this same argument
74
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:06,009
in front of a judge.
75
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:09,312
He was still convicted
for urinating in a phone booth.
76
00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:11,730
(crowd shouting,
cheerleaders chanting)
77
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,395
(players grunting)
78
00:03:20,617 --> 00:03:21,528
(whistle blowing)
79
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,279
Oh, damn it.
80
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:24,531
I'll send in
the punting team.
81
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:25,869
Hang on. Hang on.
82
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:26,912
What?
83
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:29,533
Let's go for it.
84
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,583
Why? We got plenty of time.
85
00:03:31,795 --> 00:03:33,752
I know. Still want to go for it.
86
00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:37,040
We're on the 12-yard line.
Everybody know you punt.
87
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,467
Why does everybody knowing
something make it right?
88
00:03:42,097 --> 00:03:44,464
But we're on
the 12-yard line, Coach.
89
00:03:46,768 --> 00:03:49,306
Okay, Coach says
we're going for it.
90
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,890
Stupid brother.
91
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,688
- What?
- Nothing.
92
00:03:53,108 --> 00:03:55,646
- Power left jumbo on two, on two. Ready?
- ALL: Break!
93
00:03:56,403 --> 00:03:59,146
P.A. ANNOUNCER: And your Wolves
are going for it on fourth down.
94
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:01,356
What the hell? Punt!
95
00:04:01,825 --> 00:04:03,942
Statistically, they're
better off going for it.
96
00:04:04,161 --> 00:04:06,494
- Says who?
- My little boy.
97
00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,409
(whistles blowing)
98
00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,203
That's why everybody punts.
99
00:04:15,422 --> 00:04:17,004
That was just
plain foolishness.
100
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,256
Your little boy's
a real genius.
101
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,209
Well, actually he is.
102
00:04:21,553 --> 00:04:22,384
(whistle blows)
103
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,386
Too many men on
the field, defense.
104
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,842
Replay fourth down.
105
00:04:29,060 --> 00:04:31,598
Ah. Thank you, Jesus.
106
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,770
Now, can I send in
the punt team?
107
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,358
Coach?
108
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:41,069
Break!
109
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,444
ANNOUNCER: And they're
going for it again.
110
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,195
What the hell? Punt!
111
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,118
Remind me to tell you about
the tax refund I got
112
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:49,696
from the IRS.
113
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:50,996
Set. Hut!
114
00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:58,412
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
115
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:01,499
- Go!
- Whoo!
116
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:05,173
Go, go, go! Go!
117
00:05:05,388 --> 00:05:07,345
ANNOUNCER:
He's at the 30, the 20, the 10.
118
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:09,765
- Touchdown, Wolves!
- (crowd cheering)
119
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,512
(both laughing)
120
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:15,813
I never had any doubt, Coach.
Never had any doubt.
121
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:21,107
Oh, booyah! Yes.
122
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:22,653
♪♪
123
00:05:30,956 --> 00:05:32,322
Sweet dreams, baby.
124
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:33,702
Mwah.
125
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,704
Night, Meemaw.
126
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:39,871
Can I ask you a favor?
127
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,423
- Sure. What?
- You know those statistics
128
00:05:42,634 --> 00:05:44,216
that you were talking about
with your dad?
129
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:48,011
Could... could that be
applied to, say,
130
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,556
who might win the
Cowboys-Packers game next week?
131
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,885
And, more specifically,
by how much?
132
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:58,064
I suppose with enough data
I could make a reasonable guess.
133
00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:00,392
I don't want a guess,
I want to know.
134
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:01,691
Mom said you're not
supposed to gamble.
135
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:02,939
Sleep, child!
136
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:05,438
- MARY: Mom?
- In here!
137
00:06:05,657 --> 00:06:07,398
(whispers): I'll get those
numbers to you tomorrow.
138
00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:11,160
Just tucking him in.
(chuckles)
139
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:15,240
I got something for you.
140
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:18,287
It's dirty.
141
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,911
Well, that's 'cause
it's the game ball.
142
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,418
And you earned it,
'cause you helped us win.
143
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,299
Okay, but can you wash it?
144
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,883
Sheldon, your daddy's
telling you he's proud of you.
145
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,886
I see. Thank you, Dad.
146
00:06:33,810 --> 00:06:34,891
You're welcome.
147
00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,309
I'm still never touching that.
148
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:41,439
Let's go wipe it off.
149
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:48,273
(school bell rings) - ADULT SHELDON:
For the next five weeks,
150
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:51,154
I continued to help
my father apply statistics
151
00:06:51,369 --> 00:06:52,780
to coach his team.
152
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:55,204
Not surprisingly,
they continued to win,
153
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:58,249
which changed my status
in the school dramatically.
154
00:06:58,460 --> 00:06:59,246
- Yo, Sheldon!
- There he is!
155
00:06:59,461 --> 00:07:00,622
(students cheering,
excited chatter)
156
00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:01,497
Shel-dog!
157
00:07:01,713 --> 00:07:02,794
Math man!
158
00:07:03,548 --> 00:07:05,961
Hey, cutie.
159
00:07:06,718 --> 00:07:07,674
It was a nightmare.
160
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,422
Shel-dog! Woo-hoo!
161
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,506
Hugging, hair tousling,
high fives.
162
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:16,058
And as my popularity grew,
so did my time aloft.
163
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,885
(screaming)
164
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:20,221
♪♪
165
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,180
(screaming)
166
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,607
♪ Everybody wants you. ♪
167
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:35,615
Hey, I've been looking
all over for you.
168
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:37,738
Do you know how
popular we are?
169
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:39,498
- We?
- Yeah.
170
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:42,167
I put the word out I was helping
you with the football stats.
171
00:07:42,379 --> 00:07:43,870
And since I'm Asian,
they bought it.
172
00:07:44,422 --> 00:07:46,129
Well, I'm glad
you're enjoying it.
173
00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:48,006
You're not?
174
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:51,093
I was touched 82 times
this afternoon.
175
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,545
What do you mean, "touched"?
176
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,130
Not inappropriately.
177
00:07:54,349 --> 00:07:55,430
Joyfully.
178
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:57,053
Affectionately.
179
00:07:57,268 --> 00:07:59,430
A cheerleader hugged me
to her bosom.
180
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:00,853
That's amazing.
181
00:08:02,190 --> 00:08:03,397
No more high fives.
182
00:08:03,608 --> 00:08:05,224
I can't keep
washing my hands.
183
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:12,857
Hey.
184
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,367
There's my little
assistant coach.
185
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:16,910
Hello, Dad.
186
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,955
You have any more,
uh, arithmetic ideas
187
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,327
for next week's game?
188
00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,876
I do, but I'm trying
to finish my homework.
189
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:26,419
Ah.
190
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,507
Looks complicated.
191
00:08:31,011 --> 00:08:33,173
Advanced chemistry.
It's not.
192
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,429
What are you guys doing?
193
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:37,597
Your brother and I are gonna
knock around a few ideas
194
00:08:37,809 --> 00:08:39,175
for the Freeport game.
195
00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:40,759
Can I help?
196
00:08:41,146 --> 00:08:42,682
Actually, yeah.
Run out to my truck.
197
00:08:42,897 --> 00:08:44,138
There's a little, uh,
pocket calculator
198
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,347
on my front seat.
199
00:08:45,650 --> 00:08:46,811
I got you a present.
200
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:49,063
Thought it might help
with your figuring.
201
00:08:49,279 --> 00:08:51,692
I don't need a calculator, Dad.
I am one.
202
00:08:52,407 --> 00:08:53,022
Sure.
203
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,072
Well...
204
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:56,154
Go get it anyway.
205
00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,407
It's solar-powered.
206
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:01,284
(chuckles):
Can you imagine that?
207
00:09:08,256 --> 00:09:11,749
(rock music playing loudly
over stereo)
208
00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,802
(steady thumping)
209
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:22,351
Georgie, turn that down!
210
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,268
What?
211
00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:27,852
(music stops)
212
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:30,481
And look at this room.
You need to clean this mess up.
213
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:32,027
I'll get to it later.
214
00:09:32,238 --> 00:09:33,399
No, you'll get to it now.
215
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:34,856
I don't feel like it.
216
00:09:35,283 --> 00:09:37,275
Well, your feelings have
nothing to do with it.
217
00:09:37,494 --> 00:09:38,826
And stop throwing that ball.
218
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,279
My room bothers you so much,
you clean it.
219
00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:46,083
MARY: That's it!
You are grounded! You hear me?!
220
00:09:46,294 --> 00:09:47,125
The hell?
221
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,171
Hey...!
222
00:09:51,382 --> 00:09:52,498
There's my little Moonpie.
223
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,384
Did you get a chance to look
at this week's games for me?
224
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:58,713
- Not yet.
- You understand there's a little time crunch involved.
225
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:02,471
Meemaw's got some outstanding
loans I need to pay back.
226
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:04,426
I'm sorry,
I have to finish my homework
227
00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:06,387
and then I have to help my dad.
228
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:09,230
Come on.
229
00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:10,933
I'm your meemaw.
230
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:12,602
I make you cookies.
231
00:10:12,821 --> 00:10:14,278
How 'bout a little quid pro quo?
232
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:15,445
As much as I enjoy
233
00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:17,774
your use of Latin, no.
234
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,617
Shelly, time to get ready
for bed.
235
00:10:20,829 --> 00:10:21,990
But I'm not done.
236
00:10:22,205 --> 00:10:23,616
Don't you sass me, too,
young man.
237
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,164
Brush your teeth and get to bed.
238
00:10:29,963 --> 00:10:32,626
I think your anger might be
a little misdirected.
239
00:10:32,841 --> 00:10:34,127
Don't you start
with me either.
240
00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:37,209
Now, see,
you're still shootin' wide.
241
00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,055
- (doorbell rings)
- (knocking)
242
00:10:46,646 --> 00:10:48,057
Good evening,
Mrs. Cooper.
243
00:10:48,273 --> 00:10:49,184
Can I speak to Sheldon?
244
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:50,515
No, you can't speak to Sheldon.
245
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,349
It's late. He's in bed.
246
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:55,528
Oh. I was hoping he might like
to go to a party with me.
247
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:57,604
Has everyone lost their mind?
248
00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,406
He's a little boy, Tam!
249
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,649
Good night!
250
00:11:02,036 --> 00:11:05,700
Good Lord, that mouth of yours
is a machine gun tonight.
251
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:13,037
What are you doing?
252
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:15,464
Trying to calculate
the odds of the Dolphins
253
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,712
covering the spread next Sunday.
254
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:18,800
I like dolphins.
255
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,425
They talk out of that hole
in their head.
256
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,380
(knocking)
257
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:24,423
Hello.
258
00:11:24,642 --> 00:11:25,553
Tam?
259
00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:30,270
What are you doing here?
260
00:11:30,481 --> 00:11:32,097
Would you like to go
to a party with me?
261
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,774
I don't want to go to a party
with anyone.
262
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:34,725
I would!
263
00:11:35,278 --> 00:11:35,893
Please, Sheldon.
264
00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:37,478
It's right across the street.
265
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,529
Just get me in,
and you can go back to bed.
266
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,406
I have to ask my mom.
267
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:43,405
No need.
She knows all about the party.
268
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:46,703
All right, then.
269
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,451
I need a minute
to change.
270
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:55,287
- Why are you wearing that?
- It makes me look older.
271
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:58,674
(doorbell rings) - Just so we're clear,
once you get in,
272
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:00,384
I'm going home.
273
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,798
Hey! Sheldon!
274
00:12:03,014 --> 00:12:04,175
What are you doing?
275
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,632
- Hey, everybody, check it out! Sheldon's here!
- (crowd cheering)
276
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:10,307
(cheering continues in distance)
277
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,101
I hope that doesn't
wake up the kids.
278
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:14,477
Should I go over there
and say something?
279
00:12:14,692 --> 00:12:15,648
I think you should.
280
00:12:16,027 --> 00:12:17,108
(sighs)
281
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:18,894
I was bluffin'.
282
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,234
Don't make me
put my socks back on.
283
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,236
Never mind.
284
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:24,658
Good night.
285
00:12:26,204 --> 00:12:27,285
Good night.
286
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:37,037
I feel bad about
yelling at Georgie.
287
00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:39,252
He deserved it.
288
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:40,841
You should do it more.
289
00:12:41,135 --> 00:12:42,421
I think he's feeling left out
290
00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:45,220
now that you and Sheldon are
spending so much time together.
291
00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:50,768
Are you kiddin' me?
You're always saying to find
292
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:51,890
something in common
with Sheldon.
293
00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,937
And now that I have, you're
telling me I'm ignoring Georgie?
294
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:55,730
I'm not saying that.
295
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,604
I'm just reminding you
296
00:12:57,819 --> 00:12:59,105
that you got two sons.
297
00:12:59,320 --> 00:13:00,527
I know.
298
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,281
I also got a daughter
I need to spend more time with.
299
00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:05,278
You do.
300
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,409
But I wouldn't worry about her.
301
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,986
She's an angel.
302
00:13:10,081 --> 00:13:12,118
(rap music playing,
crowd cheering)
303
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,835
- (cheering) - Yeah, Sheldon!
- Put me down!
304
00:13:17,046 --> 00:13:19,538
I said put me down!
305
00:13:19,757 --> 00:13:21,214
SHELDON: Put me down!
I'm not enjoying this!
306
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:23,088
Missy, what are you doing here?!
307
00:13:23,303 --> 00:13:25,090
Cuttin' loose.
What are you doing here?
308
00:13:25,430 --> 00:13:26,420
SHELDON:
Slowly! Slowly!
309
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:27,675
Slowly!
310
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,056
You, too?!
311
00:13:30,268 --> 00:13:31,600
Hello, Georgie!
312
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,222
You're not supposed
to be here.
313
00:13:33,438 --> 00:13:35,600
Neither are you!
You're grounded!
314
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:37,640
Come on.
315
00:13:37,859 --> 00:13:39,475
Both of you are going home. Now.
316
00:13:39,694 --> 00:13:41,856
- Oh, thank goodness.
- Aw.
317
00:13:45,366 --> 00:13:46,527
How's puberty
treating you?
318
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,780
Because it is
knocking me for a loop.
319
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:51,737
Right?
320
00:13:58,504 --> 00:14:00,416
ADULT SHELDON: Somehow,
my parents didn't find out
321
00:14:00,631 --> 00:14:02,497
about me partying heartily.
322
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:03,961
But I did pay a price
323
00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:06,590
for burning the candle
at both ends.
324
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,217
I made a mistake
on a math test.
325
00:14:09,932 --> 00:14:12,720
In my exhaustion,
I did all the calculations
326
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:13,800
in my head,
327
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:17,559
and, like a common zoo animal,
forgot to show my work.
328
00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:20,687
I just saw one of those girls
from the party,
329
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:23,235
and she acknowledged
my existence by doing this.
330
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,737
I've never felt so alive.
331
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,071
Are you okay?
332
00:14:31,287 --> 00:14:32,118
No, I'm not.
333
00:14:34,332 --> 00:14:35,698
Yeah, so?
334
00:14:36,626 --> 00:14:39,164
A B-plus... that's
the beginning of the end.
335
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:40,668
The end of what?
336
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:41,916
My life.
337
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:44,714
If I don't make some changes,
who knows how far I'll fall.
338
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:48,218
I could wind up a drug addict,
or a lawyer.
339
00:14:48,429 --> 00:14:50,136
Is it possible
you're overreacting?
340
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:54,262
No. Starting today, I'm done
helping the football team.
341
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,474
But if you do that, girls will
no longer greet me like this.
342
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:00,897
I'll greet you like that.
343
00:15:02,360 --> 00:15:03,896
It's not the same.
344
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,905
ADULT SHELDON: Extricating
myself from this situation
345
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,948
was not going to be easy.
346
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:13,618
My father was counting on me,
Meemaw was counting on me,
347
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,822
the school was counting on me.
348
00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:18,457
After much thought,
I decided to employ
349
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:22,161
the one strategic maneuver
I knew I could count on.
350
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:23,374
I tattled.
351
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,170
Mom?
352
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:27,921
("I Fought the Law"
by The Clash playing)
353
00:15:28,136 --> 00:15:29,547
♪♪
354
00:15:30,513 --> 00:15:33,426
♪ Robbin' people
with a six-gun ♪
355
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,179
♪ I fought the law
and the law won... ♪
356
00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:39,432
Sheldon got a B-plus!
That's terrible for him!
357
00:15:39,897 --> 00:15:42,435
I'm very disappointed
in all three of you.
358
00:15:42,650 --> 00:15:45,393
That is right. Missy, this
is for your ballet class.
359
00:15:45,611 --> 00:15:48,149
We do not go
to parties.
360
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,155
I am very disappointed.
361
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:56,953
Hey.
362
00:15:58,332 --> 00:15:58,947
Got to go pick up
363
00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,999
some equipment for the team;
you want to join me?
364
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:02,910
Can't. I'm grounded.
365
00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:05,333
(sighs):
Yeah, well...
366
00:16:05,590 --> 00:16:06,831
I won't tell if you won't.
367
00:16:09,677 --> 00:16:10,793
Sheldon going?
368
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,091
That little snitch?
Absolutely not.
369
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:20,977
Sheldon still gonna
help you with the math?
370
00:16:21,189 --> 00:16:22,475
I don't think so.
371
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,148
But I did hear his little
Asian friend can do it.
372
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:35,742
Hey.
373
00:16:36,370 --> 00:16:37,110
Hello.
374
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:38,661
So...
375
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,365
Oilers are a four-point favorite
for this Sunday's game,
376
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:45,168
but it's a home game, so I'm
thinking I give the points.
377
00:16:46,047 --> 00:16:47,208
What do you think?
378
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:49,965
I think I have
to tell on you again.
379
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,634
Go ahead. What's your
mama gonna do, ground me?
380
00:16:56,766 --> 00:16:58,758
Take the Oilers,
give the points.
381
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:03,054
I love you, Moonpie.
(chuckles)
382
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,768
ADULT SHELDON: For the record,
the Oilers lost that game
383
00:17:08,986 --> 00:17:10,818
by four touchdowns.
384
00:17:11,239 --> 00:17:13,731
Meemaw never asked
for my advice again.
385
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:20,783
Come on, come on,
come on. Damn it!
386
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:21,655
Okay.
387
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,040
One more time.
388
00:17:25,461 --> 00:17:27,544
Mama needs a new Jet Ski!
389
00:17:27,838 --> 00:17:28,669
And...
390
00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,088
rat bastard!
391
00:17:32,426 --> 00:17:33,792
How you doin' there, Connie?
392
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,920
Hey, Vincent.
(chuckles)
393
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,721
What brings you
to Louisiana?
394
00:17:38,933 --> 00:17:39,923
Wait, don't tell me.
395
00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:41,633
You're here to see Tony Orlando.
396
00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,135
'Fraid not.
397
00:17:43,354 --> 00:17:44,765
Oh, well, you ought
to check him out.
398
00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,189
He'll, uh, knock your socks off.
399
00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:48,898
I like my socks on.
400
00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:52,854
Connie, you're putting me
in a very awkward position.
401
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,613
I won a toaster oven
playing keno.
402
00:17:55,866 --> 00:17:56,822
You want it?
403
00:17:58,327 --> 00:17:59,317
I got one.
404
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:01,411
I want my money.
405
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:03,158
(chuckles):
All right.
406
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:04,657
Hang on.
407
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,993
That's a very nice jacket.
408
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:09,578
You're looking dapper.
409
00:18:13,551 --> 00:18:14,917
Ah. (chuckles)
410
00:18:15,386 --> 00:18:16,718
Hey, they comp my room here.
411
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:18,010
They do that for you?
412
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,885
Actually, they frown
upon my presence here.
413
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:25,140
Oh. I also get a coupon
for the breakfast buffet.
414
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,515
You should look into that.
415
00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:30,436
(sighs, mutters)
416
00:18:30,651 --> 00:18:31,607
Constance!
417
00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:33,685
Patience, Vincenzo.
418
00:18:34,405 --> 00:18:36,237
(chuckles)
419
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:40,613
- Yes! (laughing)
- (bell ringing)
420
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,364
- (coins clacking)
- Oh!
421
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:44,492
All right, now we're talking.
422
00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:46,699
Will you take a down payment
in quarters?
423
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:47,998
Do I have a choice?
424
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:49,326
(laughs)
425
00:18:49,545 --> 00:18:50,831
Start scoopin'.
426
00:18:51,255 --> 00:18:52,666
I got to go see Tony Orlando.
427
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:54,544
(coins continue clacking)
428
00:18:58,804 --> 00:18:59,794
Oof.
429
00:19:00,181 --> 00:19:01,012
(shudders)
430
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:04,383
(exasperated grunt)
431
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:07,511
(yells)
432
00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:08,686
(coins continue clacking)
433
00:19:08,898 --> 00:19:09,854
Hey!
434
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,607
Hey, I need another cup!
30205
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