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1
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:04,619
Let's go. Let's go.
2
00:00:04,838 --> 00:00:05,919
We're gonna be late!
3
00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,831
ADULT SHELDON:
Fun fact... the first time
4
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,337
I almost died was
at the age of nine.
5
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:11,383
The murder weapon?
6
00:00:11,595 --> 00:00:13,257
A Jimmy Dean sausage.
7
00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,971
(choking quietly)
8
00:00:18,644 --> 00:00:21,352
Mom, Sheldon's
making faces at me.
9
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:24,347
Sheldon!
10
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:25,556
ADULT SHELDON:
In fairness to Mr. Dean...
11
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,483
- Honey!
- ...this one morning, I decided
12
00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:30,311
to forgo my normal
20 chews per bite,
13
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,989
as prescribed by the
American Medical Association.
14
00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:34,031
George, help!
15
00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:39,078
Come here, boy. We got it.
We just got to smack it out.
16
00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,655
ADULT SHELDON:
To further complicate matters,
17
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,581
in any real-life crisis,
18
00:00:42,793 --> 00:00:45,877
my family's default mode
is mindless panic.
19
00:00:46,088 --> 00:00:48,125
Sheldon's gonna die!
Sheldon's gonna die!
20
00:00:48,340 --> 00:00:49,706
ADULT SHELDON:
Or heartless apathy.
21
00:00:50,259 --> 00:00:51,625
MARY:
Oh, Lord.
22
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:53,129
Here we go.
This is how you do it.
23
00:00:53,345 --> 00:00:55,632
- Here we go. And we shake.
- Honey!
24
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,013
ADULT SHELDON: It's interesting
the things you think about
25
00:00:58,225 --> 00:01:00,057
when life is ebbing
from your body.
26
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:03,307
For instance, linoleum.
What is it, really?
27
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:06,640
Plastic? And if so, how is it
different from Formica?
28
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,190
I'm calling 911.
29
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:12,194
ADULT SHELDON:
And what about Count Chocula?
30
00:01:12,447 --> 00:01:13,688
How is he a count?
31
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,318
Did the title come with land?
32
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:16,365
George, Heimlich!
33
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,536
(grunts) - MARY:
Don't hurt his little ribs!
34
00:01:20,747 --> 00:01:22,238
ADULT SHELDON:
They say, in the final moments,
35
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,790
your life passes
before your eyes.
36
00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:28,127
All I saw was my brother
licking jelly off the knife
37
00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:29,704
and putting it back in the jar.
38
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,584
(Sheldon grunts, coughs)
39
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:33,211
Okay, it's better now. Sheldon!
40
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:36,176
- (raspy gasping)
- Honey. Are you okay?
41
00:01:36,388 --> 00:01:37,799
Can you breathe?
Say something!
42
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:40,803
You have to... throw
away... that jelly.
43
00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:42,259
(panting)
44
00:01:44,021 --> 00:01:46,764
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
45
00:01:46,982 --> 00:01:49,599
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
46
00:01:49,818 --> 00:01:52,401
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
47
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:55,026
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
48
00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,529
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
49
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:07,496
I've never been late
to school before.
50
00:02:07,711 --> 00:02:09,748
I'm late all the time.
It's no big deal.
51
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,580
I get you to school on time
every day. Why are you late?
52
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:15,212
I have a lot of people
to say hi to in the morning.
53
00:02:15,427 --> 00:02:16,042
SHELDON:
Mom,
54
00:02:16,261 --> 00:02:17,422
would you write a note for me?
55
00:02:18,013 --> 00:02:18,799
Sure.
56
00:02:19,014 --> 00:02:20,721
You have the coolest excuse.
57
00:02:20,932 --> 00:02:23,515
You almost died.
Did you see Jesus?
58
00:02:23,810 --> 00:02:26,018
I saw Count Chocula.
59
00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,681
But feel free to mention
my brush with death in the note.
60
00:02:29,900 --> 00:02:32,267
All right, that's enough
talk about death and dying.
61
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:36,196
I came this close to
having my own room.
62
00:02:39,451 --> 00:02:40,908
MacELROY:
Remember, the food drive
63
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:41,859
ends Friday.
64
00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:43,741
All canned goods
are welcome.
65
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:47,828
But please... make sure
your cans have labels.
66
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,124
Needy people
have enough problems
67
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,669
without having to guess
what's for dinner.
68
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:54,418
I'm sorry I'm late.
I have a note.
69
00:02:57,302 --> 00:03:00,010
You poor thing, you had
a medical emergency?
70
00:03:00,222 --> 00:03:02,760
Yes, ma'am.
I choked on a sausage.
71
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:03,805
(laughter)
72
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,133
BOY:
How big was it?
73
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:07,264
About yay big.
74
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:09,141
(laughter)
75
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:11,730
ADULT SHELDON:
To this day,
76
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,434
I still don't understand
why they were laughing.
77
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:22,695
You're sitting in my spot.
78
00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:24,826
Why is it your spot?
79
00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,745
It's complicated.
Just move.
80
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,702
(sighs)
81
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:36,881
- You're reading a comic book.
- I am.
82
00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,588
You do understand
those are for children.
83
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:41,173
Have you ever read one?
84
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:44,221
I outgrew picture books
when I was three.
85
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:45,344
Just eat your lunch.
86
00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:03,490
What's the matter?
87
00:04:04,661 --> 00:04:06,698
I-I don't think
I can eat this.
88
00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:08,120
You want to trade?
89
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:10,206
My mom made me
fish soup again.
90
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:11,828
How long do we have
to be in this country
91
00:04:12,002 --> 00:04:13,538
before I get baloney?
92
00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:19,340
Mm, no, thank you.
93
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:20,792
I'm not hungry.
94
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,927
"I'm not hungry."
95
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:26,305
Three words you never hear
in Vietnam.
96
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:29,971
MEEMAW: Well, here's
something nice. (chuckles)
97
00:04:30,187 --> 00:04:31,723
You know
that Mr. Rosenbloom
98
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,396
with the furniture store
over by the steakhouse?
99
00:04:34,775 --> 00:04:37,017
- I don't think so.
- Oh, sure you do.
100
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:38,771
That Hebrew fella
with the comb-over?
101
00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,023
You mean Jewish?
102
00:04:40,322 --> 00:04:42,484
I think they like
to be called Hebrew.
103
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,023
Anyway,
104
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:46,821
he's asked me to dinner.
105
00:04:47,037 --> 00:04:47,743
(chuckles)
106
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:49,786
Well, good for you.
What'd you say?
107
00:04:50,165 --> 00:04:51,997
I said I'd have
to think about it.
108
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,165
What's to think about?
109
00:04:53,376 --> 00:04:54,912
Well, a lot.
110
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,711
I mean, assuming he enjoys
dinner, he might want
111
00:04:57,923 --> 00:04:59,664
a scoop of Meemaw for dessert.
112
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:01,249
Mom, the kids.
113
00:05:01,885 --> 00:05:03,467
I said "dessert."
114
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,544
Did you know
I was talking about sex?
115
00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:06,803
No.
116
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,256
See?
117
00:05:10,393 --> 00:05:11,509
Why aren't you eating?
118
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:13,886
I don't think I can.
119
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:16,438
Sometimes the different foods
touch each other, Sheldon.
120
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,731
Not the end of the world.
121
00:05:17,943 --> 00:05:20,310
No, I'm afraid I'll choke again.
122
00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:23,028
Oh, honey, that's
not gonna happen.
123
00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,447
Go ahead, eat your dinner.
124
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,115
What's all this about choking?
125
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:27,904
Sheldon almost died
this morning.
126
00:05:28,119 --> 00:05:29,451
- What?!
- Oh, yeah.
127
00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:31,996
Dad was shaking him upside down
like a ketchup bottle.
128
00:05:32,207 --> 00:05:33,493
It was great.
129
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,286
Well, you got to eat
something, baby.
130
00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,618
Just have a few bites.
131
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:38,749
I can't. It's too risky.
132
00:05:38,964 --> 00:05:40,205
Dibs on the tater tots.
133
00:05:40,549 --> 00:05:41,915
All right, I'll wrap
that up for you,
134
00:05:42,133 --> 00:05:44,591
and if you change your mind,
you can have some later.
135
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:46,010
At least drink your milk.
136
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:47,507
Sure.
137
00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:49,255
ADULT SHELDON:
My mother and father saw
138
00:05:49,474 --> 00:05:52,683
that I'd been traumatized and
were patient and understanding
139
00:05:52,894 --> 00:05:55,602
about my fear
of eating solid foods.
140
00:05:56,022 --> 00:05:57,684
This lasted one more day.
141
00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,106
MARY: Sheldon Lee Cooper,
if you don't
142
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:01,149
finish that pork chop,
I swear I will chew it up
143
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:02,977
and spit it in your mouth
like a mama bird.
144
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:04,107
Do it, Mom. Do it.
145
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:06,439
- Mary, can I speak to you for a second?
- No. Enough is enough.
146
00:06:06,658 --> 00:06:08,274
The boy has got to eat.
147
00:06:08,493 --> 00:06:09,654
Just give me a minute.
148
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:14,075
Start eating, mister.
149
00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:19,084
You don't mind, right?
150
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,290
How about I cut that
pork chop off the bone
151
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:27,126
and throw it in the
blender with some gravy?
152
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:31,426
If it fits through
a bendy straw, I'll drink it.
153
00:06:31,641 --> 00:06:32,757
Coming up.
154
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,093
Why does he get a pork shake?
155
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:37,520
This is all my fault.
156
00:06:37,731 --> 00:06:39,313
I rushed him through
breakfast the other day,
157
00:06:39,524 --> 00:06:41,186
and now look...
he is wasting away.
158
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,313
Oh, come on.
You can't blame yourself.
159
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,520
This isn't gonna last. Remember
the time a bee got in the house
160
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,696
and he slept under a net
for a couple months?
161
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:49,149
This is different.
162
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:50,323
- How?
- First of all,
163
00:06:50,535 --> 00:06:51,321
you let that bee in.
164
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:52,526
The bee was your fault.
165
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,987
- Okay.
- Secondly,
166
00:06:54,205 --> 00:06:55,446
this is about his health.
167
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:56,746
He is a fragile little boy.
168
00:06:56,958 --> 00:06:58,119
He can't go on like this.
169
00:06:58,335 --> 00:06:59,416
I'm not arguing with you.
170
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:01,995
Let's just, you know,
give him a little more time.
171
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:03,333
(sighs)
172
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:06,549
(blender whirring)
173
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,551
Now what?
174
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:10,586
Sounds like your mom's
making margaritas.
175
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,546
(slurps)
176
00:07:14,017 --> 00:07:14,928
What's he drinking?
177
00:07:15,185 --> 00:07:16,892
Pork chop and gravy.
178
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,019
(quietly): I snuck
some broccoli in there, too.
179
00:07:19,230 --> 00:07:20,937
Shh...
180
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,235
(slurps)
181
00:07:37,248 --> 00:07:39,114
(whirring)
182
00:07:41,002 --> 00:07:42,743
I'm real glad
you've been getting out again.
183
00:07:42,963 --> 00:07:44,454
Me, too. (chuckles)
184
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:47,006
We had a nice dinner,
took a walk.
185
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,046
He's a divorcé, you know.
186
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:50,250
I didn't.
187
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:52,086
It's not a big deal
for those people.
188
00:07:52,305 --> 00:07:55,264
If they're not a lawyer,
they're related to one.
189
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:57,345
GEORGE SR.: You're actually
cutting the crust off
190
00:07:57,560 --> 00:07:58,846
- before you blend it?
- I left it
191
00:07:59,062 --> 00:08:01,645
on his tuna sandwich yesterday,
he said he could tell.
192
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,097
Only drank half of it.
193
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,311
Mary, you think this has
gone on long enough?
194
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:06,772
No trouble.
195
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,104
But it'd be better
if I had two blenders.
196
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,688
Be better if you stopped
coddling him.
197
00:08:10,907 --> 00:08:12,398
Well, I don't know
what else to do.
198
00:08:12,617 --> 00:08:14,529
I suggested that we take him
to some kind of professional,
199
00:08:14,744 --> 00:08:16,201
but you said he'd outgrow it.
200
00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:17,699
Well, if you're looking
for a psychiatrist,
201
00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:20,702
I bet my new fella's
related to one.
202
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,376
What do you think?
203
00:08:25,547 --> 00:08:26,503
(sighs)
204
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:27,959
Not sure.
205
00:08:28,967 --> 00:08:30,424
If we take him to a shrink,
it feels like we're admitting
206
00:08:30,635 --> 00:08:31,671
something's wrong with him.
207
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:34,378
He hasn't had solid food
in five weeks.
208
00:08:35,140 --> 00:08:38,383
Well, if there is
something wrong with him,
209
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:39,842
it ain't constipation.
210
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:41,268
(laughing)
211
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:46,682
Okay.
212
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:48,517
Let's see if we
can find somebody.
213
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:49,773
Thank you.
214
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:51,854
(sighs):
Hmm.
215
00:08:56,411 --> 00:08:57,401
(clicks tongue)
216
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,111
Needs a few more Cheetos.
217
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:03,249
ADULT SHELDON: My mother managed
to locate a family psychiatrist
218
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:04,826
within our price range.
219
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,952
No one seemed to be bothered
that he had
220
00:09:07,172 --> 00:09:09,380
a coupon in The Pennysaver.
221
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,667
Is this man gonna make me
eat solid foods?
222
00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,752
No, he just wants to
talk to you about it.
223
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:17,384
Did you tell him I have
a lot to accomplish in my life
224
00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:20,933
and cannot afford to be killed
by an unchewed sausage?
225
00:09:21,770 --> 00:09:23,557
Not in those exact words.
226
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,857
Did you bring
the coupon?
227
00:09:30,111 --> 00:09:31,318
Hi. Welcome.
228
00:09:31,529 --> 00:09:32,770
You must be the Cooper family.
229
00:09:32,989 --> 00:09:33,729
We are.
230
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:35,359
Right on, right on.
231
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,070
This must be Sheldon.
232
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,400
Put 'er there.
233
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:40,577
No, thank you.
234
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:42,705
Right on, right on.
235
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,203
Okay, well, here's how
I'd like to start. Mom and Dad,
236
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:47,580
why don't you come talk to me
first, and then, Sheldon,
237
00:09:47,796 --> 00:09:49,788
you and I have
a little rap session.
238
00:09:50,507 --> 00:09:51,167
Folks?
239
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,970
(quietly):
Right on, right on.
240
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,632
Feel free to read
any of my comics.
241
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,687
And you guys feel free
to sit on my beanbag!
242
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:14,645
40 cents? Outrageous.
243
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:16,230
ADULT SHELDON:
As fate would have it,
244
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,442
the comic I picked up
was called X-Men.
245
00:10:19,661 --> 00:10:21,869
Young mutants
with incredible powers
246
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,117
who were feared
and misunderstood
247
00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:25,994
by the entire world.
248
00:10:26,209 --> 00:10:28,451
Hey, it's about me.
249
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:31,746
Now, the thing
you have to understand is
250
00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:33,627
Shelly is
incredibly bright.
251
00:10:33,842 --> 00:10:36,755
I mean, his IQ is right up there
with Albert Einstein
252
00:10:37,011 --> 00:10:39,253
and that English
wheelchair fella.
253
00:10:39,514 --> 00:10:41,301
- Cool.
- He's nine years old
254
00:10:41,516 --> 00:10:44,350
and he's in high school, so you
can't judge him like other kids.
255
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:45,676
- I hear ya.
- George,
256
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,136
tell him about
how he's always going
257
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,181
on and on about
subatomic particles and such.
258
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,274
Oh, he'll get to gabbin'
about it.
259
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:55,523
We're accustomed
to his quirks and oddities.
260
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:59,823
But this whole "being afraid
of solid foods" thing,
261
00:11:00,243 --> 00:11:01,529
it's got us thrown.
262
00:11:02,287 --> 00:11:04,404
Okay.
Let me just start by saying
263
00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:05,703
you came to the right place.
264
00:11:06,374 --> 00:11:08,616
Sheldon and I happen
to have a lot in common.
265
00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:10,667
I, too, was
a special little boy.
266
00:11:10,879 --> 00:11:11,915
In the fourth grade,
I was reading
267
00:11:12,130 --> 00:11:13,462
at a seventh grade level.
268
00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:14,879
And I don't have to tell you
where I was
269
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,047
by the seventh grade.
270
00:11:19,179 --> 00:11:20,386
Tenth.
271
00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:26,759
I'm gonna give
the beanbag a whirl.
272
00:11:30,398 --> 00:11:31,479
What are y'all watching?
273
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:32,772
Little Rascals.
274
00:11:35,486 --> 00:11:37,523
You know most of those kids
are dead, right?
275
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:38,650
What?
276
00:11:38,865 --> 00:11:41,824
Alfalfa, Stymie, Buckwheat.
277
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,321
Even Petey the dog?
278
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,493
Oh, especially Petey the dog.
279
00:11:45,705 --> 00:11:47,196
Thanks for making it
depressing.
280
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:48,576
You're very welcome.
281
00:11:48,791 --> 00:11:50,202
Y'all want to go get
some ice cream?
282
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:51,204
What about dinner?
283
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:53,160
What about it? Come on.
284
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:55,666
Is ALF dead?
285
00:11:55,965 --> 00:11:58,002
No, but it's just
a matter of time.
286
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,005
You'd be surprised how many
children have food phobias.
287
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,929
- Is that so?
- Oh, yeah. When I was Sheldon's age,
288
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,221
I was afraid of
that weird skin
289
00:12:05,433 --> 00:12:06,799
- on top of puddin'.
- Really?
290
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,725
Me, too. You know, you put
a little Saran Wrap on...
291
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:09,973
George.
292
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,014
Sheldon?
293
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:15,690
Where the hell did he go?
294
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:17,650
Sheldon?
295
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,190
Couldn't have gone far.
296
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:20,483
Why not?
297
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,231
Right on, right on.
298
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,407
(line ringing)
299
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:26,201
I checked the bathroom,
the stairs.
300
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:27,493
He's not in the building.
301
00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,196
I'm worried.
No one's answering at home.
302
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:30,622
Stay calm. We'll find him.
303
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:31,740
You know,
304
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:32,746
when I was a kid...
305
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,202
Shut up.
306
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:35,752
Well...
307
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,759
ADULT SHELDON: It wasn't typical
for me to wander out into
308
00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:46,590
the urban jungle on my own,
but I was on a mission.
309
00:12:46,808 --> 00:12:50,768
I had gotten my first taste
of serialized superheroes,
310
00:12:50,979 --> 00:12:52,265
and I needed more.
311
00:12:55,566 --> 00:12:56,898
(bell jingles)
312
00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:03,234
Excuse me,
do you have X-Men #137?
313
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,237
I'd like to know
what happens next, please.
314
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:08,701
Back bin in the corner.
315
00:13:10,290 --> 00:13:11,622
What are you doing here?
316
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:13,165
Oh, hello, Tam.
317
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:15,459
I thought you said
comic books are for children.
318
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,665
I'm a complicated young man.
319
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:22,298
I think we should
call the police.
320
00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,593
We don't need the police.
We'll find him.
321
00:13:24,804 --> 00:13:26,090
This is all my fault.
322
00:13:26,306 --> 00:13:28,423
He ran away because
we took him to a therapist.
323
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,633
That's $15 we ain't
getting back.
324
00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:32,684
That's what you're
worried about?
325
00:13:33,021 --> 00:13:34,978
No. Course not.
326
00:13:37,525 --> 00:13:39,061
And Sheldon's fine.
327
00:13:39,861 --> 00:13:41,147
You know what he's like.
328
00:13:41,446 --> 00:13:42,186
If someone took him,
329
00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:44,067
(chuckles): I'm sure
they'll bring him right back.
330
00:13:48,619 --> 00:13:50,485
♪♪
331
00:13:55,793 --> 00:13:57,625
I'm enjoying this,
but I'm having trouble
332
00:13:57,837 --> 00:13:59,373
with the onomatopoeia.
333
00:14:01,382 --> 00:14:02,042
The what?
334
00:14:02,258 --> 00:14:03,624
The onomatopoeia.
335
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:05,709
Words that imitate sounds.
336
00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,341
"Kthoom." "Snikt."
337
00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:09,546
"Bamf."
338
00:14:09,766 --> 00:14:11,723
Writers shouldn't
make up words.
339
00:14:12,310 --> 00:14:14,552
Somebody made up
"onomatopoeia."
340
00:14:17,231 --> 00:14:19,894
You challenge me.
I like that.
341
00:14:28,409 --> 00:14:30,025
Meemaw, are you gonna have
any more babies?
342
00:14:30,244 --> 00:14:31,826
Good Lord, no!
343
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,654
She's too old
to have any more babies.
344
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:35,830
Don't have to have 'em.
You live long enough,
345
00:14:36,042 --> 00:14:37,658
your hair and your teeth
start falling out,
346
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,164
you start wetting the bed,
you get to be one.
347
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,211
(laughs) That's funny.
348
00:14:41,422 --> 00:14:43,129
We're gonna have to
put a diaper on you.
349
00:14:43,341 --> 00:14:45,424
You won't be laughing
when you're doing it.
350
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:46,796
I might be.
351
00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:48,843
(laughter)
352
00:14:50,306 --> 00:14:54,050
Hey, Meemaw, next to Sheldon,
who's smarter, me or Georgie?
353
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,224
Me, of course.
354
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:56,260
Why you?
355
00:14:56,479 --> 00:14:57,936
My head's bigger.
356
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,604
It doesn't matter.
357
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,853
Tonight is not about Sheldon.
358
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,356
Yeah, right. Everything's
always about Sheldon.
359
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:06,607
Yeah. Most of the time,
360
00:15:06,823 --> 00:15:08,610
it's like we don't even exist.
361
00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,568
I guess Sheldon does get
most of the attention.
362
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:14,198
Maybe that's a good thing.
363
00:15:15,164 --> 00:15:16,075
How?
364
00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,202
Well, if it weren't for him,
your parents would be
365
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:19,784
on your ass all the time.
366
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:22,915
Yeah. I guess I never thought
about it that way before.
367
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:26,215
You kidding me? Right now,
they would be nagging you
368
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,883
about cleaning your room
369
00:15:28,094 --> 00:15:29,505
and doing
your homework.
370
00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:32,963
Instead, you're sitting
in a parking lot,
371
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,094
eating a Blizzard for dinner.
372
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,551
- With cookie dough in it.
- Exactly.
373
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:41,639
While Sheldon is stuck sitting
in some boring shrink's office.
374
00:15:41,858 --> 00:15:44,271
Mom told me they were
taking him for a haircut.
375
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:47,562
Oh. Yeah.
376
00:15:47,780 --> 00:15:49,066
Right.
377
00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:52,946
Well, when he gets home,
say his hair looks good.
378
00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:04,290
♪♪
379
00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:09,257
What?
380
00:16:10,595 --> 00:16:11,631
Nothing.
381
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,467
♪♪
382
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:25,269
You want one?
383
00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,108
No.
384
00:16:28,196 --> 00:16:29,107
Well...
385
00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,689
if you change your mind,
help yourself.
386
00:16:34,285 --> 00:16:36,197
ADULT SHELDON: I didn't
have to read many comic books
387
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:40,326
to understand that
every superhero had a weakness,
388
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,123
something they had to overcome
389
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,453
through an extraordinary act
of courage.
390
00:16:46,589 --> 00:16:49,377
For Cyclops,
it was the loss of Jean Grey.
391
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:51,758
For Rogue, it was human touch.
392
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,928
For me, it was food
that required chewing.
393
00:16:55,139 --> 00:16:57,973
So if I truly was a mutant,
I would have to do the same.
394
00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,221
♪♪
395
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:15,407
On this day,
I would not be defeated.
396
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,820
Because this was
the day I became...
397
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:23,118
...The Chewer.
398
00:17:24,544 --> 00:17:28,504
Just like that,
I overcame my fear of choking.
399
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:31,206
All that was left
was my fear of dogs,
400
00:17:31,425 --> 00:17:33,462
birds, insects, germs,
401
00:17:33,678 --> 00:17:35,260
hugging, button fly pants,
402
00:17:35,471 --> 00:17:37,463
rivers, ponds, lakes, oceans,
403
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:40,299
estuaries, corduroy,
root vegetables,
404
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,384
squeaky balloons,
tinted windows,
405
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,390
take a penny, leave a penny,
fireworks,
406
00:17:44,605 --> 00:17:46,767
potbelly stoves, dust bunnies,
407
00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:49,896
that fuzz on peaches. Ugh.
408
00:17:53,281 --> 00:17:55,819
What I find interesting
is how many supervillains
409
00:17:56,033 --> 00:17:58,741
are scientists:
Doctor Octopus,
410
00:17:58,995 --> 00:18:01,863
Doctor Doom, Lex Luthor,
411
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:04,539
Green Goblin,
the list goes on and on.
412
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:05,748
So?
413
00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,451
So if the world
doesn't respect me,
414
00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:08,956
I might change sides.
415
00:18:09,171 --> 00:18:12,585
(indistinct
police radio chatter)
416
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,007
Uh-oh.
417
00:18:14,885 --> 00:18:16,001
Good luck.
418
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:22,891
(sighs)
419
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:25,761
ADULT SHELDON: I tried
to explain to my parents
420
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,937
that a mutant named Cyclops,
421
00:18:28,149 --> 00:18:29,890
who shoots laser beams
out of his eyes,
422
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,101
helped me eat a licorice stick.
423
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,152
Went right over their heads.
30269
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