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(George Michael's "Faith"
playing)
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00:00:04,129 --> 00:00:05,916
(tape rewinding)
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00:00:06,465 --> 00:00:08,172
♪ Faith, faith, faith ♪
4
00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:09,545
♪ Baby ♪
5
00:00:10,302 --> 00:00:12,544
♪ I know you're
asking me to stay ♪
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00:00:12,763 --> 00:00:14,971
♪ Say please, please,
please don't go away ♪
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00:00:15,182 --> 00:00:17,174
♪ You say I'm giving you
the blues ♪
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♪ Maybe ♪
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♪ Huh! ♪
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♪ You mean ♪
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- ♪ Every word you say ♪
- (popping loudly)
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♪ Can't help but think ♪
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00:00:24,149 --> 00:00:25,139
♪ Of yesterday ♪
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♪ And another who tied me down ♪
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00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:28,480
♪ To lover boy rules... ♪
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ADULT SHELDON:
My father took pride in saying
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00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,072
that he ran our house
like a tight ship.
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The ship got a lot looser when
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- my meemaw came over to babysit.
- (firecracker pops)
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00:00:39,289 --> 00:00:40,871
I bet a nickel.
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00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:43,908
Hang on there a minute,
moon pie.
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00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,538
I want to teach
you somethin'.
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00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:46,835
Look at your cards,
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00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,663
and then look
in the mirror.
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00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,499
Hey, I'm smiling.
26
00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:51,874
- Uh-huh.
- (firecracker pops)
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00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:52,709
And what does that
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00:00:52,928 --> 00:00:54,590
tell me about your cards?
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00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:55,966
That I like them?
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00:00:56,181 --> 00:00:57,638
Attaboy. Now...
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look at my face.
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00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:00,637
- (firecracker pops)
- Tell me
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what you see.
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That you're old.
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It's a good thing I love you.
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00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,141
(firecracker pops) - I'm
gonna look at my cards again.
37
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:11,394
You're unhappy.
38
00:01:11,780 --> 00:01:12,861
Which means...?
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You don't have good cards.
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00:01:14,658 --> 00:01:16,524
- Mm-hmm.
- (firecracker pops)
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00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,033
So...
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00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:20,369
I'm gonna see
your nickel...
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00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:22,993
- and raise you a quarter.
- Quarter?
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00:01:23,375 --> 00:01:24,616
You can fold.
45
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:27,668
No. I have good cards;
you have bad cards.
46
00:01:27,879 --> 00:01:29,040
I'm in.
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- Nines and fives.
- Mm.
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That's too bad.
49
00:01:34,511 --> 00:01:36,047
Three queens. You lose!
50
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,674
- (laughing)
- What?
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But you weren't happy.
52
00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:42,179
- I made you think I was unhappy.
- But that's lying.
53
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:43,805
You lied to your moon pie.
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I bluffed my moon pie.
55
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,395
- Do people know about this?
- Sheldon,
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what's on a person's face
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is not always
what's in their heart.
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Well, this changes everything.
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How do you know who to trust?
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You don't.
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00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:03,029
That's what makes life
interesting.
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00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,746
ADULT SHELDON: Meemaw liked to teach
me things that kept me awake at night.
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00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:07,950
MARY:
Mom, we're home!
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In here!
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00:02:09,713 --> 00:02:10,874
What's he doing up?
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00:02:11,089 --> 00:02:12,170
Losin'.
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(firecracker pops)
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00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:14,878
Hell is that?
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00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:16,550
I sent Georgie
on a beer run,
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00:02:16,762 --> 00:02:18,879
and tipped him
with firecrackers.
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00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:19,924
Oh, Mom.
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- Was I supposed to stiff him?
- (door opens)
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00:02:21,808 --> 00:02:22,423
(door closes)
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00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:26,102
I ate so much candy!
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00:02:28,065 --> 00:02:29,181
Okay.
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00:02:30,525 --> 00:02:31,561
They're all yours.
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(chuckles)
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00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,276
(firecracker pops)
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00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,897
- ♪ Faith, faith, faith. ♪
- (groans)
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00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:40,571
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
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00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:43,403
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
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00:02:43,622 --> 00:02:46,080
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
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00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,783
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
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00:02:49,002 --> 00:02:52,495
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
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Sometimes people say to me,
"Pastor Jeff,
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00:03:01,223 --> 00:03:02,634
how do you know there's a God?"
87
00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:05,387
And I say, "It's simple math.
88
00:03:05,602 --> 00:03:08,015
God either exists
or he doesn't."
89
00:03:08,230 --> 00:03:09,186
(chuckles):
So let's be cynical.
90
00:03:09,398 --> 00:03:12,232
Worst-case scenario,
there's a 50-50 chance.
91
00:03:12,442 --> 00:03:14,104
And I like those odds.
92
00:03:14,820 --> 00:03:15,776
That's wrong.
93
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,775
Shelly,
put your hand down.
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00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:19,651
Sorry. Please continue.
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00:03:20,158 --> 00:03:21,274
(chuckles)
It's okay, Mary.
96
00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:22,734
I-It's Sheldon, right?
97
00:03:22,953 --> 00:03:24,785
- Yes, sir.
- Well, Sheldon,
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00:03:24,996 --> 00:03:27,329
why don't you come on up here
and tell me how I'm wrong.
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00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,873
- No.
- Okay.
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00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:31,166
(chuckles) Let's give him
a hand, everybody.
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00:03:31,753 --> 00:03:34,040
Mm. What's happening?
102
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,757
Shelly's gonna eat him
alive. (chuckles)
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00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:43,629
PASTOR JEFF:
So...
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00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:44,755
you were saying?
105
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,888
You've confused possibilities
with probabilities.
106
00:03:48,103 --> 00:03:49,844
According to your analogy,
when I go home
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00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,181
I might find a million dollars
on my bed or I might not.
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00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:55,266
In what universe
is that 50-50?
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00:03:55,485 --> 00:03:56,441
(congregation murmuring)
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00:03:56,987 --> 00:03:57,898
PASTOR JEFF:
So what do you think
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00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:00,196
the odds are
that God exists?
112
00:04:01,032 --> 00:04:01,897
I think they're zero.
113
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,574
I believe in science.
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00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,447
(congregation ooh'ing,
murmuring)
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00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:06,277
PASTOR JEFF:
So you don't think
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00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,863
science and religion
can go hand in hand?
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00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,957
Science is facts,
religion is faith.
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00:04:12,169 --> 00:04:13,626
- I prefer facts.
- Mm.
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I understand that.
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00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:16,792
Here's a cool fact for ya.
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00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,464
A lot of famous scientists
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believed in God.
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00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:21,633
Isaac Newton.
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00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,006
Albert Einstein.
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00:04:23,221 --> 00:04:24,962
Even Charles Darwin.
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00:04:25,182 --> 00:04:26,844
(congregation ah'ing)
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00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:30,176
So Darwin's right about God
and wrong about evolution?
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00:04:30,479 --> 00:04:31,390
Now you're gettin' it.
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00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,187
Let's give it up
for Sheldon, everybody.
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00:04:33,398 --> 00:04:35,560
What a good sport. Oh.
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00:04:35,859 --> 00:04:37,566
(organ playing)
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00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,690
ADULT SHELDON:
But I wasn't a good sport.
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00:04:39,905 --> 00:04:41,737
At that moment,
I vowed to come back
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00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:45,567
the following Sunday
and destroy Pastor Jeff.
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00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,652
(knocking)
136
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:57,420
Uh, hello, Mr. Cooper.
137
00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:58,872
Is Missy home?
138
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,507
Hello, Billy.
No, she's at church.
139
00:05:03,094 --> 00:05:05,131
I brought her eggs
from my chickens.
140
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:07,088
I see that.
141
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,133
You can boil them
or scramble them.
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00:05:11,394 --> 00:05:12,510
Okay.
143
00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,933
I like fried.
144
00:05:16,983 --> 00:05:18,440
Okay.
145
00:05:20,529 --> 00:05:22,191
I don't like poached.
146
00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:24,989
Okay.
147
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:28,613
Thank you for your time.
148
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,203
Okay.
149
00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:39,003
MARY: You want me to cook
those eggs for you, baby?
150
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:40,913
No. They're a gift.
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00:05:41,925 --> 00:05:42,631
Sorry.
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00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,334
He even wrote me a note.
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00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:48,467
"Eggs from your
secret admirer. Billy."
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00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,176
GEORGE SR. (calls):
Mary, can you come in here?
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00:05:50,559 --> 00:05:51,845
I'm cookin'.
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00:05:52,060 --> 00:05:53,892
I really need you
to come in here.
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00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:55,769
What on earth?
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00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:58,347
Uh-oh.
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00:05:58,859 --> 00:05:59,599
What?
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00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:00,979
Listen to this.
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00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,148
"French philosopher,
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00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,276
"mathematician and physicist,
Blaise Pascal,
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00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:09,950
"argued a rational person
should believe God exists
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00:06:10,161 --> 00:06:12,574
"because you have everything
to gain if you're right,
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00:06:12,789 --> 00:06:14,781
and nothing to lose
if you're wrong."
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00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,707
Sounds right.
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00:06:17,752 --> 00:06:18,913
(footsteps approaching)
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00:06:19,212 --> 00:06:20,043
MARY:
Meemaw is coming over
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00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,666
to watch you... I gotta go.
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00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:24,673
- Where?
- Daddy's not feeling good.
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00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,376
We're gonna go see a doctor.
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00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,423
- Is he okay?
- He's gonna be fine.
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00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:29,503
You just sit right there.
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00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,510
Meemaw's on her way over
to cook you dinner.
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00:06:32,058 --> 00:06:32,923
Can we come with you?
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00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:35,385
No. Just stay right there,
don't move.
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00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,345
George, let's go.
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00:06:50,577 --> 00:06:52,569
How long are we
supposed to sit here?
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00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:53,868
I don't know.
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00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:55,283
She said don't move.
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00:06:55,498 --> 00:06:57,535
She was very clear.
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00:06:59,169 --> 00:07:00,956
Hope I don't have
to go to the bathroom.
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00:07:01,171 --> 00:07:02,207
(door opens)
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00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:04,914
Don't worry!
185
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:06,374
Meemaw's here!
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00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,710
Everything's under control!
187
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,218
Oh.
(chuckles)
188
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,841
We haven't had dinner yet.
189
00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,092
Really?
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00:07:13,683 --> 00:07:14,924
(groans)
191
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,681
I don't feel like cookin'.
192
00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,849
I think my husband's having
a heart attack!
193
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,145
NURSE: I need an RRT
and a crash cart.
194
00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:28,354
Over here.
195
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:32,609
Sir, are you having
chest pains right now?
196
00:07:32,869 --> 00:07:33,780
Yeah, a little bit.
197
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:36,078
Any numbness
or pain in your arms?
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00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,329
Maybe this one.
199
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:38,576
Shortness of breath?
200
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:39,498
Enough questions.
201
00:07:39,709 --> 00:07:41,325
He's a fat, middle-aged man
with chest pains.
202
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:42,250
Do something!
203
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:44,749
- All right.
- Sorry about the fat, honey.
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00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,872
You said you liked me this way.
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00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:48,715
(grunts)
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00:07:48,927 --> 00:07:50,543
Is Daddy gonna be okay?
207
00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:52,549
Oh, yeah.
Your Pop-Pop used to have
208
00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:54,721
little chest pains all the time.
209
00:07:55,058 --> 00:07:56,890
Didn't he die of a heart attack?
210
00:07:57,102 --> 00:07:59,594
Well,
for insurance purposes, yes.
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00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,100
(door opens)
212
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,231
Hey. What's goin' on?
213
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,059
Dad's in
the hospital.
214
00:08:06,361 --> 00:08:08,193
What? Why's Dad in the hospital?
215
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:09,987
- He's gonna be fine.
- He had chest pains.
216
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,439
He's gonna be fine.
217
00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:13,441
What are we doin'? Why
aren't we going to the hospital?
218
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,151
Nobody's goin' nowhere.
219
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:16,903
We're just
gonna stay calm,
220
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,239
have a nice dinner,
and wait for your mama to call
221
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,743
and tell us what's what.
222
00:08:21,459 --> 00:08:22,700
I'm not hungry.
223
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,081
What did you mean
by "insurance purposes"?
224
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,460
Just eat.
225
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,294
(laughter on TV)
226
00:08:37,892 --> 00:08:40,851
What kind of Texan drinks
pink wine?
227
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:42,644
(phone rings)
228
00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:47,391
Hello.
229
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,101
Hi, Mom. Kids okay?
230
00:08:49,320 --> 00:08:51,061
Yeah, they're fine.
How's George?
231
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:53,360
I don't know.
They're running tests.
232
00:08:54,117 --> 00:08:57,531
Well, don't you worry about us.
(chuckles)
233
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,079
Everything's under control here.
234
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:01,993
Okay.
235
00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,949
I'll call you when I know more.
236
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:05,785
How you holdin' up?
237
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,212
I guess I'm okay.
238
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,380
Well, George is gonna pull
through this, honey.
239
00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,583
I guarantee it.
240
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,919
Thanks, Mom.
241
00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:16,219
Thanks for bein' there.
242
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,887
You bet.
243
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:19,840
I'll call you later.
244
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:20,891
Okay.
245
00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:22,097
Bye.
246
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,726
What'd she say?
247
00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:28,979
The doctors are doin' some
tests, but, dollars to donuts,
248
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:31,732
your daddy's just got
a bad case of gas.
249
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:34,063
Y'all two go
get ready for bed.
250
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,023
I don't want to stay
around here.
251
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,074
I want to go to the hospital
and see Dad.
252
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,152
Well, I want to go to Las Vegas
and see Willie Nelson,
253
00:09:40,371 --> 00:09:42,203
but that ain't gonna happen
either.
254
00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:44,031
This is stupid.
255
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,658
You know
what's stupid?
256
00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,834
I got to drink pink wine!
257
00:09:48,046 --> 00:09:48,786
(door slams)
258
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:49,874
Meemaw?
259
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:50,996
What?
260
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,832
Is Dad really okay?
261
00:09:54,177 --> 00:09:55,463
Yes.
262
00:09:56,179 --> 00:09:58,011
I hope you're
not bluffing.
263
00:10:07,690 --> 00:10:08,897
You asleep?
264
00:10:10,193 --> 00:10:11,149
No.
265
00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:12,818
Me neither.
266
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,321
Every time the phone rings,
I get scared.
267
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:20,033
Me, too.
268
00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:21,660
(knocking)
269
00:10:22,747 --> 00:10:24,704
I'm goin' to see Dad.
You guys want to come?
270
00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:27,624
How? Meemaw said
we have to stay here.
271
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,660
You want to go or not?
272
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,706
♪♪
273
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:38,757
Shh.
274
00:10:40,265 --> 00:10:41,301
Shh.
275
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:43,715
Who do I shush?
276
00:10:43,935 --> 00:10:45,016
- Shh!
- Shh!
277
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:50,810
(snores softly)
278
00:11:03,371 --> 00:11:04,282
(keys jangle)
279
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:08,866
(quietly):
What are you doing?
280
00:11:09,085 --> 00:11:10,371
I'm driving
to the hospital.
281
00:11:10,587 --> 00:11:12,920
You can come with me
or stay here... up to you.
282
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,163
I'm comin'.
283
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:16,464
Sheldon?
284
00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:17,416
You're 14.
285
00:11:17,635 --> 00:11:19,092
You don't know how to drive.
286
00:11:19,304 --> 00:11:20,761
I drove a tractor at 4-H camp.
287
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:22,213
It's the same thing.
288
00:11:22,432 --> 00:11:24,594
But you sat on the farmer's lap.
289
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:25,890
Then stay here.
290
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:27,263
Come on, Missy.
291
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:30,929
(snores loudly)
292
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,065
(engine starts)
293
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:39,272
- (click)
- ♪And I whine, I'm after you ♪
294
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:40,480
What are you doin'?
295
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,157
Travelin' music.
296
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:43,446
SHELDON:
Ugh.
297
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,118
I'm coming with you.
298
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,912
Why are you wearin' my helmet?
299
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,831
I don't expect this to end well.
300
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:51,200
And the pillows?
301
00:11:51,419 --> 00:11:52,705
Same answer.
302
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,504
Turn it off.
I've got to concentrate.
303
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:57,001
Aw.
304
00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:58,965
- (music stops)
- Okay,
305
00:11:59,177 --> 00:12:00,384
seat belts, everybody.
306
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,761
Please drive slowly.
307
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:04,838
Relax. I know what I'm doin'.
308
00:12:05,892 --> 00:12:07,053
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
309
00:12:07,268 --> 00:12:08,475
ADULT SHELDON:
I've often been asked
310
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:10,973
why I never learned
to drive a car.
311
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,145
This night...
312
00:12:13,942 --> 00:12:15,274
is your answer.
313
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,150
Please slow down.
314
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:18,478
I'm goin' eight
miles an hour.
315
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,146
A cow just passed us.
316
00:12:20,365 --> 00:12:22,948
- Do you know how to get to the hospital?
- Yeah.
317
00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,946
It's right across the street
from the Dairy Queen.
318
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,572
Which Dairy Queen?
319
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:27,995
What are you talkin' about?
320
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:29,238
There's two.
321
00:12:29,624 --> 00:12:30,239
Really?
322
00:12:30,458 --> 00:12:31,118
You're gonna hit it!
323
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:32,450
Which is the one
Mom takes us to?
324
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:33,580
You're gonna hit it!
325
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,831
Ooh, you're in trouble now!
326
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,882
(phone ringing)
327
00:13:03,157 --> 00:13:03,988
Yeah?
328
00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,199
What took you so long to answer?
329
00:13:06,411 --> 00:13:08,528
Powdering my nose.
What's it to ya?
330
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:11,747
Sorry I asked. Just wanted
to give you an update.
331
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,120
Y... What's goin' on?
332
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:16,042
They want to run
some more tests.
333
00:13:16,254 --> 00:13:17,836
They're gonna hold him
overnight.
334
00:13:18,047 --> 00:13:20,915
Oh. Oh, well, that's, that's
nothin' to worry about.
335
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,545
That's just precautionary.
336
00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:24,217
How are the kids?
337
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:26,216
Oh. (chuckles)
They were a little worried,
338
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,593
but I handled it.
339
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:29,881
They sleepin'?
340
00:13:30,143 --> 00:13:31,179
Um...
341
00:13:32,729 --> 00:13:34,095
Yeah, yeah.
342
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,391
You bet.
343
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:37,480
Thanks again for helpin'.
344
00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:38,603
Oh, hey,
345
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,150
these are my grandchildren.
346
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,102
They are my blood.
347
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:43,729
Okay. I better go.
348
00:13:43,948 --> 00:13:46,611
Okay. We'll talk later.
349
00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,028
(exhales)
350
00:13:59,881 --> 00:14:00,997
Son of a bitch.
351
00:14:03,509 --> 00:14:05,421
I hate those kids.
352
00:14:05,636 --> 00:14:08,925
♪♪
353
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,056
MISSY:
Just admit it, we're lost.
354
00:14:11,309 --> 00:14:12,470
We're not lost.
355
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:14,722
Well, I sure don't see
a hospital anywhere.
356
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:17,187
Why don't we ask somebody
for directions?
357
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:19,685
Because we're children
in a car, genius.
358
00:14:21,319 --> 00:14:22,059
Dang it!
359
00:14:22,278 --> 00:14:23,940
Are you aiming for them?
360
00:14:24,155 --> 00:14:25,942
Everybody just shut up.
I got this.
361
00:14:26,157 --> 00:14:28,945
(siren wailing)
362
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,945
Oh, no.
We're going to jail.
363
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:33,574
Georgie's going to jail.
364
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,281
I'm saying I was kidnapped.
365
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:36,706
SHELDON:
That's a good plan.
366
00:14:36,918 --> 00:14:38,454
You and I were kidnapped.
367
00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:41,002
If I'm going to jail,
we're all going to jail.
368
00:14:41,589 --> 00:14:44,206
Oh, you better pull over.
369
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,129
GEORGE JR.:
Oh, thank God.
370
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,715
- Well, don't just sit there... follow it.
- Why?
371
00:14:52,934 --> 00:14:55,176
It's an ambulance...
it's going to the hospital.
372
00:14:56,437 --> 00:14:57,473
Hang on.
373
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:03,100
MISSY: How about I put
the radio on real low?
374
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:04,435
GEORGE JR.:
Shut up.
375
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:06,899
Mary.
376
00:15:07,323 --> 00:15:07,938
Mom!
377
00:15:08,157 --> 00:15:09,944
- Where are they?
- Where's who?
378
00:15:10,868 --> 00:15:12,200
More importantly...
379
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:16,947
...how is George?
SHELDON: - Mom!
380
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,500
- Ah. There they are!
- Hey. Oh.
381
00:15:19,710 --> 00:15:20,951
MEEMAW: Ha! I lost
the little rascals
382
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:22,877
in the... hall.
383
00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:24,500
I want to see Dad.
384
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:25,580
- Me, too.
- Me, too.
385
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:26,961
The doctors are
with him now.
386
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,292
I'll take you in a bit.
387
00:15:28,511 --> 00:15:29,718
Why are they here?
388
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:31,757
I think it's obvious.
389
00:15:32,014 --> 00:15:33,255
They love their daddy.
390
00:15:33,516 --> 00:15:36,429
No, I get that.
Why aren't they home in bed?
391
00:15:41,482 --> 00:15:43,189
Well, nobody could sleep.
392
00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,434
I thought it was
the right thing.
393
00:15:48,114 --> 00:15:48,774
Good bluff.
394
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:50,071
Shh.
395
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,153
Okay, thank you.
396
00:15:52,410 --> 00:15:53,821
You all need anything?
You hungry?
397
00:15:54,036 --> 00:15:55,026
- No.
- No, thank you.
398
00:15:55,246 --> 00:15:56,953
Okay, everybody sit tight.
399
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:59,077
I'm gonna go check
on your dad.
400
00:16:01,627 --> 00:16:02,287
Georgie.
401
00:16:04,005 --> 00:16:05,086
Give me my damn keys.
402
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,665
Oh, yeah. Here.
403
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:09,590
Thank you.
404
00:16:11,387 --> 00:16:12,798
How did I beat you here?
405
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,051
We kept hitting
garbage cans.
406
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,256
Oh, God.
407
00:16:16,851 --> 00:16:17,967
I need to wash
my hands.
408
00:16:18,186 --> 00:16:21,270
- There are germs here that can kill you.
- Hold up.
409
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:24,306
Now, y'all like it
when your meemaw babysits.
410
00:16:24,525 --> 00:16:26,812
Poker, candy,
firecrackers.
411
00:16:27,069 --> 00:16:28,435
- Yes.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
412
00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:30,486
Well, if your mother
ever finds out
413
00:16:30,781 --> 00:16:32,192
what you did tonight,
414
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,775
that is never
gonna happen again.
415
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,405
I can't lie
to my mother.
416
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:39,329
Sure you can.
Believe in yourself!
417
00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:49,919
(monitor beeping steadily)
418
00:16:51,302 --> 00:16:52,258
(labored breathing)
419
00:16:52,470 --> 00:16:54,211
(amplified heartbeat)
420
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,424
(rapid beeping)
421
00:17:02,980 --> 00:17:03,891
(weak exhale)
422
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,896
(amplified, rapid heartbeat)
423
00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:14,030
(pants quietly)
424
00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,003
♪♪
425
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,104
ADULT SHELDON:
Despite what it looks like,
426
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:52,151
I didn't pray to God
that night.
427
00:17:52,363 --> 00:17:54,855
I prayed to Blaise Pascal.
428
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:56,531
My thinking was,
429
00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,234
if he was right
about the existence of God,
430
00:17:59,453 --> 00:18:01,115
then he could pass along
my request
431
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:02,912
for my dad to get better.
432
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,081
If he was wrong...
433
00:18:05,793 --> 00:18:06,624
well...
434
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:10,212
in this moment,
I needed him to be right.
435
00:18:16,262 --> 00:18:17,503
What's taking so long?
436
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:18,382
Shh.
437
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,681
Keep your voice down, car thief.
438
00:18:20,891 --> 00:18:23,258
I didn't steal your car,
I just borrowed it.
439
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:26,182
You're gonna need
to make bail someday.
440
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,724
Do not come to me.
441
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:30,891
MARY:
Good news!
442
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:32,317
Your daddy's gonna be fine.
443
00:18:32,528 --> 00:18:34,736
- Should be home in a day or two.
- Oh!
444
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,108
And was it a heart attack?
445
00:18:36,324 --> 00:18:37,656
Minor. No permanent damage.
446
00:18:37,908 --> 00:18:39,991
Oh! That's wonderful!
447
00:18:40,202 --> 00:18:41,818
Our prayers have been answered.
448
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:43,946
Come on,
everybody,
449
00:18:44,165 --> 00:18:45,872
let's say hello to your old dad.
450
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,790
♪♪
451
00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,208
Come on.
452
00:18:50,087 --> 00:18:51,077
ADULT SHELDON:
For a brief moment,
453
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,461
I was filled with
the healing power of faith.
454
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,713
Then the next day,
we all got violently ill
455
00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,841
from Billy Sparks' eggs,
and I was over it.
456
00:19:05,269 --> 00:19:08,353
I thought I'd talk this morning
about how it all began.
457
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:11,648
Now, everybody knows how,
on the first day of creation,
458
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,101
God said, "Let there be light."
459
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,689
And there was light.
460
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:19,148
And when God saw that light,
he knew it was good.
461
00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:20,482
(congregation murmuring)
462
00:19:20,701 --> 00:19:21,532
Oh, here we go.
463
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:23,406
Yes, Sheldon.
464
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:26,830
You said he didn't create
the sun until day four.
465
00:19:27,208 --> 00:19:27,868
Yeah.
466
00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:30,371
So how could there be light
the first three days?
467
00:19:30,628 --> 00:19:32,164
God is light.
468
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,837
So God's a photon?
469
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,208
God's what made photons
possible.
470
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,168
And what day did he do that?
471
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:41,803
I would think day one.
472
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:44,639
If I grab my chest and keel over,
maybe we can get out of here.
473
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,512
That's a terrible
thing to say.
474
00:19:46,727 --> 00:19:48,559
...because the first day
had just begun.
475
00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:50,182
So, before the Big Bang?
476
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:51,605
There was no Big Bang.
477
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,148
There was only the Word.
478
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,146
Was the word "kaboom"?
479
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:56,564
Okay, do it.
480
00:19:56,904 --> 00:19:57,519
(grunts)
481
00:19:57,738 --> 00:19:58,603
We gotta go.
482
00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:00,155
(grunting)
483
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:01,447
MISSY:
What's happening?
484
00:20:01,659 --> 00:20:03,525
- Is it over?
- Y-Yes.
32189
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