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1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:07,133
♪ Goodness gracious ♪
2
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,843
♪ Great balls of fire ♪
3
00:00:08,884 --> 00:00:11,137
♪ Kiss me, baby ♪
4
00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,888
♪ Whoo ♪
5
00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:14,515
♪ It feels good ♪
6
00:00:14,557 --> 00:00:16,142
What are you doing?
7
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:18,978
Partying the pounds off.
Come on.
8
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,688
Join me.
9
00:00:20,730 --> 00:00:21,814
♪ So fine ♪
10
00:00:21,856 --> 00:00:23,149
No, thanks.
11
00:00:23,190 --> 00:00:25,151
You seen my cigarettes anywhere?
12
00:00:25,192 --> 00:00:26,277
I threw 'em out.
13
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:27,778
♪ Mine, mine, mine ♪
14
00:00:27,820 --> 00:00:30,072
♪ I cut my nails
and I twiddle my thumbs ♪
15
00:00:30,114 --> 00:00:32,450
-Why?
-Because you're my best friend,
16
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:33,909
and I don't want you
getting cancer.
17
00:00:33,951 --> 00:00:35,327
Now, come on, get in on this.
18
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,912
Do something healthy
for your lungs for once.
19
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:39,123
♪ Great balls of fire ♪
20
00:00:39,165 --> 00:00:40,458
♪ ♪
21
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,168
SIMMONS:
Go!
22
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:43,502
No.
23
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,504
Dude, no one is gonna see you.
24
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,590
-Forget it.
-It'll cheer you up.
25
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,009
-I don't need cheering up.
-Then it'll cheer me up.
26
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,802
Come on, man.
I need the moral support.
27
00:00:51,844 --> 00:00:53,137
All those years of dating Karen,
28
00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:55,014
you must have picked up
a few moves.
29
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,854
♪ You shake my nerves
and you rattle my brain ♪
30
00:01:01,896 --> 00:01:03,314
♪ Too much lovin' ♪
31
00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:05,649
-♪ Drives a man insane ♪
-SIMMONS: Other side!
32
00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,026
♪ You broke my will ♪
33
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,819
♪ Oh, what a thrill ♪
34
00:01:08,861 --> 00:01:10,738
♪ Goodness gracious,
great balls of fire... ♪
35
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:13,032
♪ ♪
36
00:01:27,129 --> 00:01:28,756
(music fades)
37
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:32,092
(Shirley inhales deeply)
38
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,431
(moaning softly)
39
00:01:37,473 --> 00:01:38,933
(chuckles)
40
00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,643
Good morning.
41
00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,645
How'd you sleep?
42
00:01:42,686 --> 00:01:46,190
Like a fossilized log.
43
00:01:46,232 --> 00:01:47,358
(both chuckle)
44
00:01:47,399 --> 00:01:48,984
Which is unusual.
45
00:01:49,026 --> 00:01:50,903
You know, first time
in a strange bed.
46
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,446
I mean, you know,
47
00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,323
not that there's
anything strange about the bed,
48
00:01:54,365 --> 00:01:56,867
or that, you know, that I've
been with some strange women.
49
00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:59,370
I'm just, you know,
I usually don't s...
50
00:01:59,411 --> 00:02:01,455
I know what you meant.
51
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:05,167
(chuckles)
52
00:02:07,336 --> 00:02:09,755
(Shirley sighs deeply)
53
00:02:12,341 --> 00:02:14,426
Can I ask you a question?
54
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:16,053
Sure.
55
00:02:17,596 --> 00:02:20,850
Was last night, um...
56
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:22,601
was it okay?
57
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,271
I mean, you know, was it fun,
did you have a good time?
58
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:27,147
Yes, Sam.
59
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:32,695
Oh, well...
60
00:02:32,736 --> 00:02:34,989
that's enough lollygagging.
61
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:37,575
I... know we both have
places to be,
62
00:02:37,616 --> 00:02:39,785
so you...
63
00:02:39,827 --> 00:02:41,996
Ladies first.
64
00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:44,123
No way.
65
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,916
-I insist.
-Mm-mm.
66
00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:48,627
No, I am not parading around
my middle-aged buns
67
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,379
for your amusement.
68
00:02:50,421 --> 00:02:51,922
Well, last night...
69
00:02:51,964 --> 00:02:53,799
It was dark.
70
00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:57,011
You first.
71
00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,472
Uh-uh.
72
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,016
No.
73
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,476
Well, then I guess we're both
74
00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:07,271
just gonna have to spend
the whole day in this bed.
75
00:03:07,313 --> 00:03:08,939
I guess we are.
76
00:03:10,316 --> 00:03:11,901
In fact...
77
00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:15,487
-What are you doing?
-(phone dialing)
78
00:03:19,283 --> 00:03:21,493
(laughs):
I'm calling in sick.
79
00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,370
(laughs)
80
00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,212
JEWELER:
Can I show you something?
81
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:35,799
Hmm. How about that...
big blue one right there?
82
00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:37,426
You have good taste.
83
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:40,763
It's inspired
by Lady Diana's engagement ring.
84
00:03:40,804 --> 00:03:43,349
Cool. Um...
85
00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:46,977
-how much is it?
-$3,995.
86
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:49,730
Okay, um...
87
00:03:49,772 --> 00:03:52,149
what about that one right there?
88
00:03:52,191 --> 00:03:56,070
That's a princess cut diamond
in a setting of 18-karat gold.
89
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,657
-How much?
-$2,700.
90
00:03:59,698 --> 00:04:00,950
Wow!
91
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,409
Okay.
92
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,620
Um, hmm.
93
00:04:04,662 --> 00:04:05,996
(smacks lips)
94
00:04:06,038 --> 00:04:08,540
What about, uh,
that one right there?
95
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:10,292
$800.
96
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:11,919
Seriously? That's not bad.
97
00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:14,004
Because it's cubic zirconia.
98
00:04:14,046 --> 00:04:15,547
Oh.
99
00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:21,428
Misty deserves a real diamond.
100
00:04:21,470 --> 00:04:23,764
I'll be back.
101
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,935
(door bells jingle)
102
00:04:27,977 --> 00:04:31,230
GETTY (on video): Red Oaks
is more than just a club.
103
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:34,942
Like America,
it's a shining city on a hill.
104
00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,694
It's a beacon,
105
00:04:36,735 --> 00:04:41,615
a symbol of community,
fellowship, freedom,
106
00:04:41,657 --> 00:04:44,159
where people from all walks
come together
107
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,954
to serve and celebrate
108
00:04:46,996 --> 00:04:49,456
the good life.
109
00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:51,000
I ask you:
110
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:53,002
how can you put a price
111
00:04:53,043 --> 00:04:55,629
on the place where your kids
learned to swim,
112
00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:59,466
where you watched fireworks
every Fourth of July,
113
00:04:59,508 --> 00:05:02,219
celebrated
your son's bar mitzvah,
114
00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:04,555
danced at your
daughter's wedding,
115
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,682
where you renewed
your own wedding vows?
116
00:05:06,724 --> 00:05:07,975
Hmm?
117
00:05:08,017 --> 00:05:09,393
The answer is...
118
00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:12,479
you can't put a price
on such a place.
119
00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:16,233
And so I'm asking you... don't.
120
00:05:16,275 --> 00:05:18,652
♪ ♪
121
00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,124
(sputters softly)
122
00:05:37,087 --> 00:05:39,298
So, what do you think?
123
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:40,924
I'm moved.
124
00:05:40,966 --> 00:05:42,760
Camera adds a little bit
of weight, doesn't it?
125
00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:44,845
-(whispers): No.
-No? All right, well, listen,
126
00:05:44,887 --> 00:05:47,014
I got to admit, you got, uh...
you got talent, kid.
127
00:05:47,056 --> 00:05:49,767
-Yeah, tell that to my boss.
-(Nash sniffles)
128
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:52,895
The hell's the matter with you?
129
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:57,399
-I'm fine. -So how you gonna
get the members to watch it?
130
00:05:57,441 --> 00:05:59,151
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
131
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,153
Think you can sweet-talk
your ex?
132
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:05,532
-Oh, I very much doubt it.
-Oh.
133
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:08,827
You'll have to find someone else
who's got some pull at the club.
134
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:13,415
This one outlines the terms
of our agreement.
135
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:17,044
Okay.
136
00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:19,088
The next one...
137
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:23,675
releases you from all financial
obligation to the child.
138
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,969
(sighs):
Gotcha.
139
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:29,890
And the last waives
all your parental rights.
140
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:31,433
(sighs)
141
00:06:31,475 --> 00:06:32,851
Okeydokey.
142
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,353
Guess that's it.
143
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,604
Huzzah!
(chuckles)
144
00:06:35,646 --> 00:06:37,523
This calls for a celebration.
145
00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:39,650
Where's that good sherry
we've been saving?
146
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,652
Credenza.
147
00:06:41,693 --> 00:06:42,903
So, uh...
148
00:06:42,945 --> 00:06:44,738
(quietly):
when do we do it?
149
00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:46,782
I've been taking my temperature
around the clock,
150
00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:49,118
and according to the charts,
I'm due to ovulate
151
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,452
in the next 24 hours.
152
00:06:50,494 --> 00:06:51,787
I think.
153
00:06:51,829 --> 00:06:53,705
That's-that's soon.
154
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:56,834
To a very fruitful...
155
00:06:56,875 --> 00:06:58,460
partnership.
156
00:07:04,174 --> 00:07:05,801
(exhales)
157
00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:07,636
DIRECTOR:
How we looking over here?
158
00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:10,472
I want to start... I want
to start over here on a 50.
159
00:07:10,514 --> 00:07:11,932
Let's keep it,
let's keep it pretty wide.
160
00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:13,725
I want it to be able
to breathe, okay?
161
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,978
We're about ready. Give me,
uh... give me five, okay?
162
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:18,147
-Hey.
-Hey.
163
00:07:23,026 --> 00:07:24,945
You okay?
164
00:07:25,988 --> 00:07:27,781
Fine. Why?
165
00:07:27,823 --> 00:07:29,616
I don't know,
you seem kind of quiet today.
166
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:30,951
DIRECTOR:
Look at your lady.
167
00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:32,494
Like you love her,
like you love her.
168
00:07:32,536 --> 00:07:34,079
ANNABELLE:
I got into a fight
169
00:07:34,121 --> 00:07:37,207
-with my folks on the phone
last night. -What about?
170
00:07:37,249 --> 00:07:39,001
(chuckles softly)
You name it.
171
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:41,753
Basically,
all of my life choices so far.
172
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:44,673
"Living in sin" with Noah.
173
00:07:44,715 --> 00:07:46,508
I'm working as a wardrobe P.A.
174
00:07:46,550 --> 00:07:49,261
instead of a kindergarten
teacher like my sister.
175
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:52,097
I didn't know you had a sister.
Older or younger?
176
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:53,932
Neither. We're twins.
177
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:55,851
Ah. Identical?
178
00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:57,895
We don't look
anything alike, either.
179
00:07:57,936 --> 00:07:59,521
She's really pretty.
180
00:07:59,563 --> 00:08:01,023
Oh, yeah,
you're a real gargoyle.
181
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:03,692
Compared to her-- she's
a former Junior Miss Nebraska.
182
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:05,152
Wow.
183
00:08:05,194 --> 00:08:06,862
She single?
184
00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:10,449
I'm serious. I'm not sure
New York is working out for me.
185
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:13,076
I mean, I bet I could get a
pretty sweet apartment in Omaha.
186
00:08:13,118 --> 00:08:15,120
-That you could.
-I could marry your sister,
187
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:18,332
get a job running the A/V club
at your old high school,
188
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:19,583
maybe take up storm chasing.
189
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:21,877
Wow, you really are desperate
for a girlfriend,
190
00:08:21,919 --> 00:08:23,879
-aren't you?
-Actually, I'm not, no.
191
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:26,882
It's too much work, and...
I need to just focus
192
00:08:26,924 --> 00:08:28,884
on getting my own shit together.
193
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,010
Yeah.
194
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:32,012
Relationships are hard.
195
00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:33,222
Exactly.
196
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:35,390
Well, anyway,
197
00:08:35,432 --> 00:08:37,309
you're not allowed
to move to Omaha
198
00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:39,603
and become an A/V teacher
because, for one thing,
199
00:08:39,645 --> 00:08:42,564
then I would have no one
to talk to at work.
200
00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:45,234
And because you're gonna be
a big-time movie director.
201
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:49,112
Hmm. I'm beginning to wonder
if that's still in the cards.
202
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:51,198
Don't let Derek bum you out.
203
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:52,741
He's a creep.
204
00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:54,493
It's not just Derek.
205
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,286
DAVID:
Want to know the truth?
206
00:08:56,328 --> 00:08:58,372
-One more time, please.
-It's guys like him.
207
00:08:58,413 --> 00:09:00,582
He's only a couple of years
older than me, but look at him.
208
00:09:00,624 --> 00:09:01,959
DIRECTOR:
More French. More French.
209
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,961
He's got total confidence
in himself.
210
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,379
Like he's never experienced
211
00:09:05,420 --> 00:09:07,005
an instant of self-doubt
in his entire life.
212
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:09,716
Plant here.
You go one, two, three.
213
00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:13,762
Well, maybe you need
to get yourself some confidence.
214
00:09:13,804 --> 00:09:17,015
Yeah, I'll get working on that.
215
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:18,976
Are you drunk, man?
Let's get some more wind here.
216
00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:20,519
Come on.
217
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,479
MAN (over Walkman):
This is really delicious.
218
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:26,191
Hontou ni oishii desu yo.
219
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:29,987
Hontoe ni oheeshee des yo.
Hontoe ni...
220
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:31,738
-MAN (over Walkman): I love
Japan. -All right. Go ahead.
221
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:35,367
-Nihon daisuki.
-Nihon daiskee.
222
00:09:35,409 --> 00:09:37,577
Nihon... Nihon daiskee.
223
00:09:37,619 --> 00:09:38,870
MAN (over Walkman):
I've never seen
224
00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,998
-a place so beautiful before.
-All right.
225
00:09:41,039 --> 00:09:43,834
-Konna ni kireina...
-Kohnah ni...
226
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:45,669
-tokoro wa...
-Kohnah ni keeray...
227
00:09:45,711 --> 00:09:46,962
-hajimete mita.
-Kohnah ni keeray... What?
228
00:09:47,004 --> 00:09:48,505
-What?
-(tape rewinds)
229
00:09:48,547 --> 00:09:51,091
MAN (over Walkman):
Konna ni kireina
230
00:09:51,133 --> 00:09:53,343
-tokoro wa...
-Konah ni... Konah ni keeray...
231
00:09:53,385 --> 00:09:54,886
-hajimete mita.
-...na to-ko wa...
232
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,014
hahjee... hahjeemehteh.
Hah-hahjeemehteh?
233
00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:58,557
-MAN (over Walkman): I think
of you... -Hahjeemehteh.
234
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,434
-...as more than a friend.
-All right. Yeah. Okay.
235
00:10:00,475 --> 00:10:02,019
MAN:
Watashi wa, tomodachi
236
00:10:02,060 --> 00:10:04,229
-anata no koto...
-Watashi wa, tomoshi...
237
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,231
-Tomo... Yes, okay. All right.
-(tape rewinds)
238
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,858
-MAN (over Walkman):
...tomodachi
239
00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:09,359
-anata no koto...
-Tomo... To... Shit.
240
00:10:09,401 --> 00:10:11,403
I... Fuck!
241
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,789
Heatstroke.
242
00:10:23,874 --> 00:10:27,002
Douglas Getty.
243
00:10:29,504 --> 00:10:30,714
He's right there.
244
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:34,885
-Douglas.
-Thank you for coming.
245
00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,136
I really appreciate it.
246
00:10:36,178 --> 00:10:38,180
Ah. I hope you weren't expecting
247
00:10:38,221 --> 00:10:39,848
-a conjugal visit.
-(chuckles)
248
00:10:39,890 --> 00:10:41,350
Don't worry about that.
249
00:10:41,391 --> 00:10:43,518
That's, uh, that's not why
I called you here.
250
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,937
Listen...
251
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,356
I need a favor.
252
00:10:49,399 --> 00:10:52,027
You want me to return a movie
to the video store?
253
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:54,363
(sighs) It's not a movie.
254
00:10:54,404 --> 00:10:55,822
This is a message
255
00:10:55,864 --> 00:10:58,200
from me to the members
of Red Oaks.
256
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,785
What kind of message?
257
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,119
Don't sell.
258
00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:03,747
Oy vey. Why me?
259
00:11:03,789 --> 00:11:04,998
'Cause you're on the board.
260
00:11:05,040 --> 00:11:07,042
You can make sure people see it.
261
00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:09,002
Not many minds are gonna change.
262
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:11,296
Including mine.
263
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:13,256
What are you talking about?
264
00:11:13,298 --> 00:11:16,301
I don't get it. Herb, you?
265
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,345
I thought you loved Red Oaks.
266
00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:21,223
-Yeah, I loved
all my ex-wives, too. -(sighs)
267
00:11:21,264 --> 00:11:23,100
But there comes a time
when a man has to look
268
00:11:23,141 --> 00:11:25,102
for greener pastures.
269
00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:26,645
In Boca.
270
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,980
Weren't a lot
of greener pastures
271
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,315
down there last time I checked.
272
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,650
Mainly alligators.
273
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,944
I can't stand the cold.
274
00:11:33,985 --> 00:11:35,529
Jews are a desert people.
275
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,823
We were not meant
to shovel snow.
276
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:41,451
And change is not
such a terrible thing.
277
00:11:43,662 --> 00:11:46,706
Herb, you're killing me.
278
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:49,918
I-- listen, I have given
a lot of years
279
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,211
to that club,
280
00:11:51,253 --> 00:11:54,131
and I think
I deserve to be heard.
281
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,176
Give me the goddamn tape.
282
00:11:58,218 --> 00:11:59,886
Thank you.
283
00:12:02,973 --> 00:12:05,350
(slurps oyster)
284
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:08,395
(Wheeler sighs)
285
00:12:08,437 --> 00:12:10,689
(Wheeler slurps)
286
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,068
Why are you eating oysters?
287
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:18,113
Had a hankering.
288
00:12:18,155 --> 00:12:19,698
Is that even safe?
289
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:21,408
Why wouldn't it be?
290
00:12:21,450 --> 00:12:23,910
'Cause it's August
and a thousand degrees in here.
291
00:12:23,952 --> 00:12:25,370
Dude, New Yorkers
have been enjoying oysters
292
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,122
in the summertime for years.
Before the Nazis
293
00:12:27,164 --> 00:12:28,957
invented hot dogs,
every street corner in the city
294
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:31,251
-had an oyster cart.
-Okay.
295
00:12:31,293 --> 00:12:32,752
Want one?
296
00:12:32,794 --> 00:12:35,505
No, thanks.
I'm meeting my dad for dinner.
297
00:12:35,547 --> 00:12:37,716
What's Big Sam doing
in the city?
298
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,593
He and his girlfriend
are seeing Cats.
299
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,219
Know what's funny?
300
00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:42,846
Your dad has a girlfriend
and you don't.
301
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:45,140
Yeah, that's hilarious.
302
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:47,225
(chuckles)
303
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,478
-What is this?
-Nothing.
304
00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:51,730
Why are you icing your balls?
305
00:12:52,772 --> 00:12:55,108
I just felt like it.
306
00:12:55,150 --> 00:12:56,651
What the fuck is going on, dude?
307
00:12:56,693 --> 00:12:58,195
(sighs)
308
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,197
Jockey underpants
cause your sack to overheat
309
00:13:00,238 --> 00:13:01,907
and cook your sperm.
310
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:03,700
And oysters have a ton of zinc,
311
00:13:03,742 --> 00:13:06,203
which boosts your sperm count
and makes them swim faster.
312
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:07,746
-Are you trying
to knock Misty up? -No!
313
00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,873
Jesus Christ. God forbid.
314
00:13:09,915 --> 00:13:12,083
I mean, someday, for sure,
it'd be awesome
315
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,753
to have, like, six or seven kids
with her, but...
316
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,129
-there's no rush.
-Then why are you trying
317
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:17,464
to level-up your nuts?
318
00:13:17,506 --> 00:13:20,217
Because I want to knock up
my lit professor.
319
00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,929
It's not what you think.
320
00:13:24,971 --> 00:13:28,266
There's zero intercourse.
321
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:30,602
All I have to do
is jizz in a cup.
322
00:13:30,644 --> 00:13:32,103
And why exactly
are you doing this?
323
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:33,647
Because her husband
is shooting blanks,
324
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,065
and I feel sorry for them.
325
00:13:35,106 --> 00:13:38,401
Also, they're paying me
150 bucks a squirt,
326
00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:41,446
with a big bonus
when she gets a... you know.
327
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,449
Bun in the Easy-Bake.
328
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:47,494
-And Misty's okay with this?
-No.
329
00:13:47,536 --> 00:13:49,663
No. She doesn't know.
330
00:13:49,704 --> 00:13:52,207
I feel bad, but I figure
I'm doing this for her, so...
331
00:13:52,249 --> 00:13:55,001
Wait, how is impregnating
your professor
332
00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:56,378
doing something for Misty?
333
00:13:56,419 --> 00:13:57,504
Because I'm gonna use the money
334
00:13:57,546 --> 00:13:58,630
to buy her an engagement ring.
335
00:13:58,672 --> 00:13:59,923
What the hell? You just said
336
00:13:59,965 --> 00:14:01,049
you weren't in any rush.
337
00:14:01,091 --> 00:14:02,842
To have kids, no.
338
00:14:02,884 --> 00:14:04,553
But I got to do something
to take things
339
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:05,929
to the next level,
or I could lose her.
340
00:14:05,971 --> 00:14:07,389
It's about Dr. Ron, isn't it?
341
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:08,974
You didn't see this guy.
He looks like
342
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:10,642
when he's not fixing teeth,
he's fighting crime.
343
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:11,977
Wheeler, you've done
344
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:13,436
some stupid shit,
but this is, like,
345
00:14:13,478 --> 00:14:15,105
Olympic-caliber stupidity.
346
00:14:15,146 --> 00:14:16,565
You don't know
what it's like, man.
347
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,316
You've always
had hot girlfriends.
348
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,985
Present moment excepted.
349
00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,654
Guys like me, we don't
usually get girls like Misty,
350
00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:24,281
and we definitely don't
hold onto them
351
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:26,866
-without stepping up our game.
-This isn't stepping up.
352
00:14:26,908 --> 00:14:29,119
This is acting desperate,
and you're gonna fuck things up.
353
00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:30,495
Yeah, well,
at least I'm doing something
354
00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,580
and not just sitting around
355
00:14:31,621 --> 00:14:32,956
feeling sorry for myself.
356
00:14:32,998 --> 00:14:34,291
What's that supposed to mean?
357
00:14:36,001 --> 00:14:37,627
Forget it.
358
00:14:37,669 --> 00:14:40,422
No, go ahead. Say it.
359
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,007
(exhales)
360
00:14:42,048 --> 00:14:44,050
Ever since that dickweed Derek
shit on your reel,
361
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,510
you've been moping around
like a dog
362
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,262
that just got his nuts cut off.
363
00:14:47,304 --> 00:14:49,723
-What do you expect me to do?
-Get angry. Do something!
364
00:14:49,764 --> 00:14:51,016
Oh, I'm getting angry,
all right.
365
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:54,561
You know,
I hope you get your bonus,
366
00:14:54,603 --> 00:14:57,397
because it'd be nice if you paid
your part of the fucking rent.
367
00:14:57,439 --> 00:14:59,274
(bottle cap rattles)
368
00:14:59,316 --> 00:15:01,901
(door opens, slams)
369
00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:03,570
(sighs)
370
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,287
SAM:
An elephant with so many arms.
371
00:15:12,329 --> 00:15:14,372
Wonder if they pray to him
or they just toss him peanuts?
372
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:17,375
-Sam, hush.
-(chuckling): I'm just teasing.
373
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:19,586
I think that God
has a sense of humor.
374
00:15:19,628 --> 00:15:21,838
Well, theirs might not.
375
00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,341
Well, the way I see it...
376
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:26,217
there's only one Guy Upstairs.
377
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:28,595
To the Hindus,
He looks like Dumbo.
378
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:31,431
To the Baptists,
He looks like Kenny Loggins.
379
00:15:31,473 --> 00:15:32,849
And to the Jews...
380
00:15:32,891 --> 00:15:35,310
to the Jews,
He looks like Leonard Bernstein.
381
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:36,978
-(chuckles)
-But at the end of the day,
382
00:15:37,020 --> 00:15:39,606
I think all the prayers
go to one postal address.
383
00:15:39,648 --> 00:15:41,983
You are an unusual man,
Sam Meyers.
384
00:15:42,025 --> 00:15:43,193
(both chuckle)
385
00:15:43,234 --> 00:15:46,237
SAM:
Oh, here he is.
386
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,697
-How are you?
-Good.
387
00:15:47,739 --> 00:15:49,658
-I'm David.
-So nice to finally meet you.
388
00:15:49,699 --> 00:15:52,035
-Likewise. -David,
do me a favor. Order for us.
389
00:15:52,077 --> 00:15:53,411
-We've never had Indian before.
-Mm-hmm.
390
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,246
Oh, okay. Yeah, sure.
Let me, uh...
391
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,707
SAM: David's always been
a very adventurous eater.
392
00:15:57,749 --> 00:15:59,918
He'll put anything in his mouth,
even as a baby.
393
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,378
Put in crayons, bugs.
394
00:16:01,419 --> 00:16:03,630
One time, right,
even put in dog dirt.
395
00:16:03,672 --> 00:16:05,632
-Dad. -Sam, don't you go
embarrassing him.
396
00:16:05,674 --> 00:16:08,176
It's my job. I have to.
(chuckles)
397
00:16:08,218 --> 00:16:10,178
Well, if you gentlemen
will excuse me,
398
00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:12,263
I'm gonna go sneak off
to the ladies'.
399
00:16:14,516 --> 00:16:16,309
You okay?
400
00:16:16,351 --> 00:16:17,852
Fine.
401
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:20,689
Wheeler and I got in a fight.
402
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:23,191
Roommates.
403
00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:24,734
So, what do you think?
404
00:16:24,776 --> 00:16:27,070
Uh, we should probably start
with the samosas.
405
00:16:27,112 --> 00:16:28,488
No, no, no, about Shirley.
406
00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:31,074
Oh, yeah. Nice.
Yeah. Really nice.
407
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:32,575
SAM:
Yeah.
408
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:35,370
Yeah. Hey, you don't mind
that she's, uh...
409
00:16:36,788 --> 00:16:37,956
(whispers):
Well, you're not upset that,
410
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:38,957
you know, she's black?
411
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,917
Why would I be upset?
412
00:16:40,959 --> 00:16:42,836
I knew that you wouldn't be.
413
00:16:42,877 --> 00:16:44,129
It's just I didn't want
414
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,588
to spring this on you
without warning.
415
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:48,425
I don't need warning.
416
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:51,261
I know.
417
00:16:53,430 --> 00:16:55,140
Okay.
418
00:16:55,181 --> 00:16:57,976
(piano playing softly)
419
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,439
E-Excuse me, Rebecca.
420
00:17:02,480 --> 00:17:04,983
-May I have a word, please?
-(chuckles)
421
00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:06,901
We were just about
to go in to dinner.
422
00:17:06,943 --> 00:17:08,445
It will only take a moment.
423
00:17:08,486 --> 00:17:09,904
You go on ahead.
424
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:11,990
I'll-I'll catch up.
425
00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:13,992
What is it?
426
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,244
Have the Japanese
made their offer yet?
427
00:17:16,286 --> 00:17:18,288
Yes. Mr. Shimada
and his partners
428
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:20,707
have made a rather generous one.
429
00:17:20,749 --> 00:17:22,876
So what happens now?
430
00:17:22,917 --> 00:17:26,755
Well... the board brings it
to membership for a vote
431
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:28,673
in the next few weeks.
432
00:17:30,133 --> 00:17:33,303
I wonder
if I could ask you a favor.
433
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:36,014
Would you put in a good word
on my behalf?
434
00:17:36,055 --> 00:17:38,224
I know that ordinarily
they would be inclined
435
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,477
to replace me with
a teaching pro of their own,
436
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,353
but perhaps
with your recommendation,
437
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,356
they might see fit
to keep me on.
438
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,025
Oh, Nasser, I...
439
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:49,319
I thought you knew.
440
00:17:49,360 --> 00:17:50,904
You thought I knew what?
441
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:53,823
Mr. Shimada and his partners
aren't interested
442
00:17:53,865 --> 00:17:56,493
in taking over the management
of Red Oaks.
443
00:17:56,534 --> 00:18:00,163
They intend
to close down the club.
444
00:18:00,205 --> 00:18:02,290
I beg your pardon?
445
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,542
It's not the club they want,
it's the land--
446
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,461
for a housing development.
447
00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:12,967
I see.
448
00:18:15,345 --> 00:18:18,598
Well, it would appear that
all my Japanese language lessons
449
00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,850
were for naught.
450
00:18:20,892 --> 00:18:22,852
I'm sorry.
451
00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:25,021
Would you excuse me, please?
452
00:18:25,063 --> 00:18:27,482
I need to go update my résumé.
453
00:18:34,864 --> 00:18:36,199
Thank you.
454
00:18:36,241 --> 00:18:38,785
Thanks.
Well, we better shake a leg
455
00:18:38,827 --> 00:18:40,620
if we're gonna make it
to the theater.
456
00:18:40,662 --> 00:18:42,205
Mm. Well, good night, David.
457
00:18:42,247 --> 00:18:43,581
It was such a pleasure.
458
00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:45,667
-Yeah, I hope I see you
again soon. -Mm-hmm.
459
00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,418
SAM:
You going back to the apartment?
460
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:49,712
-Thought I might take a walk.
-Okay, well, you have fun.
461
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:51,130
-Say hey to Wheeler.
-I will.
462
00:18:51,172 --> 00:18:52,465
Okay.
463
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,178
(sighs)
464
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:01,891
CECIL:
Come in, come in.
465
00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:05,854
Now, Bee's just in the bedroom
checking her temperature.
466
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:07,856
Now, can I get you anything?
467
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:09,649
No, I'm okay, thank you.
468
00:19:09,691 --> 00:19:13,111
FOX:
Dear, brave Wheeler.
469
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:16,197
-Hi, Professor. -I think
given the circumstances,
470
00:19:16,239 --> 00:19:19,868
that you should call me Beryl.
471
00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:21,411
Okay. Cool.
472
00:19:21,452 --> 00:19:22,871
Beryl.
473
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,080
Are you ready?
474
00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:25,874
(sighs heavily)
475
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,250
I think so.
476
00:19:27,292 --> 00:19:29,127
-Where do I...?
-The powder room
477
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:31,296
is down the hall.
478
00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:38,970
(door opens, closes)
479
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:45,226
♪ Memory ♪
480
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:49,564
♪ All alone in the moonlight ♪
481
00:19:49,606 --> 00:19:54,277
♪ I can smile at the old days ♪
482
00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:56,988
♪ I was beautiful then ♪
483
00:19:59,073 --> 00:20:01,743
♪ I remember ♪
484
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,661
♪ The time I knew ♪
485
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:07,165
♪ What happiness was... ♪
486
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:09,083
I thought it was great--
I mean, the music
487
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:11,961
and the costumes-- but I thought
it was a little unrealistic.
488
00:20:12,003 --> 00:20:14,756
Because my cat Gracie,
I've never heard her sing.
489
00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:18,843
(laughs) Well, maybe she
just waits until you leave.
490
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,553
What? I... Hey! Stop!
491
00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:23,139
-He...
-Hey! Hey!
492
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:24,182
Oh...
493
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:29,687
Son of a bitch.
494
00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:31,564
(panting)
495
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,609
(grunts)
496
00:20:34,651 --> 00:20:36,277
Damn it!
497
00:20:37,820 --> 00:20:39,489
(panting)
498
00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:45,536
(exhales)
Come on, dude, you can do this.
499
00:20:45,578 --> 00:20:47,246
Just focus.
500
00:20:47,288 --> 00:20:49,040
-(knocking on door)
-Yes?
501
00:20:49,082 --> 00:20:51,250
CECIL: Everything okay
in there, old man?
502
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:53,711
Fine. Sorry I'm taking so long.
503
00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:55,380
No apology necessary.
504
00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,548
No rush. Take your time.
505
00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,967
Okay.
506
00:20:59,008 --> 00:21:02,178
I brought you something
that might help.
507
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,182
What is this?
508
00:21:06,224 --> 00:21:10,353
18th century erotic
French poetry.
509
00:21:10,395 --> 00:21:11,980
Okay.
510
00:21:12,021 --> 00:21:14,107
You do read French, don't you?
511
00:21:14,148 --> 00:21:15,316
No.
512
00:21:15,358 --> 00:21:16,693
Oh.
513
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:18,695
You have any fashion magazines
514
00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,196
or a Victoria's Secret catalog?
515
00:21:20,238 --> 00:21:21,572
Afraid not. Oh!
516
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,199
But I do have a delightful book
517
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:26,452
of pornographic mosaics
from Pompeii and Herculaneum.
518
00:21:26,494 --> 00:21:27,704
I'll just fetch it.
519
00:21:30,248 --> 00:21:32,792
WHEELER: Sorry, we're not in,
but leave a message
520
00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:34,669
and we'll get back to you
at some future juncture.
521
00:21:34,711 --> 00:21:35,920
(line beeps)
522
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,588
-(coin drops)
-Did you get them?
523
00:21:37,630 --> 00:21:39,549
Just the machine.
524
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:41,884
Well, wh-what do we do now?
525
00:21:41,926 --> 00:21:44,887
Catch a cab,
hope they take credit cards.
526
00:21:44,929 --> 00:21:46,723
But-but how
will I get into my house?
527
00:21:46,764 --> 00:21:48,891
My-my keys were in my purse.
528
00:21:48,933 --> 00:21:52,186
Anyone you know have a spare?
529
00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:53,688
Yes.
530
00:21:53,730 --> 00:21:55,773
My brother.
531
00:22:04,782 --> 00:22:05,825
(gasps)
532
00:22:05,867 --> 00:22:07,910
Success?
533
00:22:10,788 --> 00:22:12,915
Well done!
(chuckles)
534
00:22:12,957 --> 00:22:14,333
Thank you.
535
00:22:17,795 --> 00:22:18,921
SAM: It was
the damnedest thing, Terr.
536
00:22:18,963 --> 00:22:21,090
He came out of nowhere,
like a ninja or something.
537
00:22:21,132 --> 00:22:24,802
You know, I tried to chase him,
but h-he was just too fast.
538
00:22:24,844 --> 00:22:26,846
-Get in the car.
-I'm telling you,
539
00:22:26,888 --> 00:22:29,182
this city's going to the dogs--
and I blame Koch.
540
00:22:29,223 --> 00:22:31,434
-He's too soft on crime.
-Shut up.
541
00:22:31,476 --> 00:22:34,103
-Oh, come on, Terry.
-Just get in the back.
542
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:41,152
Listen, Terry...
543
00:22:41,194 --> 00:22:43,613
I'm sorry that you had
to find out about us this way.
544
00:22:43,654 --> 00:22:45,323
We were gonna tell you
earlier, honest.
545
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:48,159
It's just... we were waiting
for the right time.
546
00:22:48,201 --> 00:22:51,037
Right time?
There is no right time.
547
00:22:51,079 --> 00:22:52,997
What does that mean?
548
00:22:53,039 --> 00:22:54,540
That's my sister.
549
00:22:54,582 --> 00:22:56,084
My baby sister!
550
00:22:56,125 --> 00:22:58,002
I'm 48-years-old.
551
00:22:58,044 --> 00:23:00,546
-She's vulnerable; she
just got divorced. -Oh, please.
552
00:23:00,588 --> 00:23:02,381
Like, three years ago.
553
00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:03,841
Didn't I say get in the car?
554
00:23:05,384 --> 00:23:07,345
Fine.
555
00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:10,056
(door opens)
556
00:23:11,724 --> 00:23:13,351
Thank you.
557
00:23:18,231 --> 00:23:20,274
You took advantage of her,
and you know it.
558
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,360
Otherwise, you wouldn't
have been sneaking around.
559
00:23:22,401 --> 00:23:24,320
Come on, Terry.
560
00:23:24,362 --> 00:23:25,947
Don't "Terry" me, motherfucker.
561
00:23:28,950 --> 00:23:30,910
You're a racist.
562
00:23:30,952 --> 00:23:33,329
You son of a...
563
00:23:33,371 --> 00:23:34,997
(scoffs)
564
00:23:35,039 --> 00:23:38,084
You got five seconds
to get in this goddamn car,
565
00:23:38,126 --> 00:23:40,128
or you can walk.
566
00:23:46,926 --> 00:23:49,345
-♪ ♪
-(indistinct chatter)
567
00:24:09,532 --> 00:24:11,951
♪ ♪
568
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:31,721
Hey.
569
00:24:34,724 --> 00:24:36,851
Excuse me, um, this is strange.
570
00:24:36,893 --> 00:24:39,353
A friend of mine
used to work here.
571
00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:40,938
I don't know if she still does.
572
00:24:40,980 --> 00:24:43,316
Uh... her name's Skye.
573
00:24:46,277 --> 00:24:49,697
♪ Under a blue moon
I saw you ♪
574
00:24:49,739 --> 00:24:52,825
♪ So soon you'll take me ♪
575
00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:57,747
♪ Up in your arms,
too late to beg you ♪
576
00:24:57,788 --> 00:25:01,626
♪ Or cancel it
though I know it must be ♪
577
00:25:01,667 --> 00:25:03,502
♪ The killing time ♪
578
00:25:05,338 --> 00:25:07,465
♪ Unwillingly mine ♪
579
00:25:09,634 --> 00:25:12,136
♪ Fate ♪
580
00:25:12,178 --> 00:25:15,973
♪ Up against your will ♪
581
00:25:16,015 --> 00:25:19,727
♪ Through the thick and thin ♪
582
00:25:19,769 --> 00:25:23,397
♪ He will wait until ♪
583
00:25:23,439 --> 00:25:28,110
♪ You give yourself to him... ♪
584
00:25:36,327 --> 00:25:39,997
♪ In starlit nights I saw you ♪
585
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:44,252
♪ So cruelly you kissed me ♪
586
00:25:44,293 --> 00:25:48,005
♪ Your lips a magic world ♪
587
00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:52,051
♪ Your sky all hung
with jewels ♪
588
00:25:52,093 --> 00:25:54,095
♪ The killing moon ♪
589
00:25:55,638 --> 00:25:58,766
♪ Will come too soon. ♪
590
00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:06,315
(music fades)
40741
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