Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:14,000
Transcription: fba90130, SulFiloDeiRicordi;
Translation: SulFiloDeiRicordi;
2
00:00:39,129 --> 00:00:40,192
Hello diary,
3
00:00:40,518 --> 00:00:41,956
my name is Alice.
4
00:00:43,355 --> 00:00:47,848
I guess i'm buying you because i feel that
at last i have something worthwhile to say,
5
00:00:48,032 --> 00:00:51,068
and since we moved and i'm starting a new school,
6
00:00:51,714 --> 00:00:54,463
it's even more important
that i have some place to be me,
7
00:00:54,561 --> 00:00:56,236
to say what i really think,
8
00:00:56,722 --> 00:00:59,928
and not to worry about how it sounds
to anyone else.
9
00:01:00,596 --> 00:01:02,968
Dad seems happy about his new teaching job.
10
00:01:03,517 --> 00:01:06,070
I guess being an assistant
dean is a big promotion.
11
00:01:07,030 --> 00:01:08,558
Mom loves the new house.
12
00:01:09,527 --> 00:01:10,821
And of course,
13
00:01:11,001 --> 00:01:13,456
Tim has a couple of friends already.
14
00:01:14,410 --> 00:01:17,447
I just hope that i can make a fresh start.
15
00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:21,356
Just got to keep my weight down
so all my new clothes will fit,
16
00:01:21,529 --> 00:01:23,892
and i've got to be more outgoing.
17
00:01:25,021 --> 00:01:27,369
Maybe i could even give a party here...
18
00:01:28,230 --> 00:01:30,019
I brought you some more hangers.
19
00:01:30,468 --> 00:01:32,194
Oh, Alice!
20
00:01:32,295 --> 00:01:35,213
You had time to try all of your clothes
twice probably three times,
21
00:01:35,313 --> 00:01:36,635
don't you wanna put them all away now,
22
00:01:36,735 --> 00:01:38,006
so you'll be ready for tomorrow?
23
00:01:38,316 --> 00:01:40,111
I just can't deicide what to wear...
24
00:01:40,221 --> 00:01:41,810
Oh, i think that looks very nice.
25
00:01:42,122 --> 00:01:44,381
Yeah, but supposing everybody
goes in blue jeans,
26
00:01:44,481 --> 00:01:47,746
I mean.. you want me to
look like a total misfit?
27
00:01:47,777 --> 00:01:50,990
I mean afterall you're the one that's
been after me to stop being a drag..
28
00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:52,825
I never called you a drag.
29
00:01:53,089 --> 00:01:55,869
Didn't have to, showed in your eyes...
30
00:01:55,969 --> 00:01:58,121
It was because of your attitude, honey.
31
00:01:58,221 --> 00:02:00,730
Seems so unfeeling and unlike you.
32
00:02:00,830 --> 00:02:01,922
I mean, even on last night,
33
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:05,381
not letting old friends like Bobby and
Sharon come around to say goodbye.
34
00:02:06,087 --> 00:02:08,685
How are three people
supposed to have a party?
35
00:02:11,588 --> 00:02:15,725
- Is that what it's all about?
- It's that what it's all about.
36
00:02:15,825 --> 00:02:18,470
The way you've been acting all last time?
37
00:02:19,529 --> 00:02:22,296
Is that because Sharon got a boyfriend?
38
00:02:28,731 --> 00:02:30,676
Oh, honey...
39
00:02:31,169 --> 00:02:34,636
Honey, I know this is a very
difficoult time for you, but...
40
00:02:35,327 --> 00:02:38,261
it can be a wonderful time too.
41
00:02:38,445 --> 00:02:40,226
Best time of your life.
42
00:02:40,444 --> 00:02:41,544
Oh, I don't care.
43
00:02:41,644 --> 00:02:42,852
You will.
44
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:46,815
You will as you mature, as you...
as you feel your body changing...
45
00:02:47,255 --> 00:02:50,532
and you know it's been hormones
coming to your bloodstream..
46
00:02:50,863 --> 00:02:53,149
Nothing to be ashamed of sweetheart.
47
00:02:53,417 --> 00:02:54,874
Or afraid of.
48
00:02:55,195 --> 00:02:59,496
Yeah.. what about when the hormones
get into the boys bloodstream?
49
00:02:59,696 --> 00:03:02,938
Slap! Instant sex maniacs.
50
00:03:04,032 --> 00:03:07,403
Or didn't they use to get frustrated
in the good old days?
51
00:03:08,471 --> 00:03:10,157
What do you do about that?
52
00:03:11,041 --> 00:03:13,244
Well, uh, of course, uhm...
53
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:17,658
I mean, boys do have a stronger
sex drive as you said, but...
54
00:03:18,138 --> 00:03:23,084
you have to realize, you have to be
aware of your own desires too dear.
55
00:03:23,184 --> 00:03:25,626
You already gave me the
sex lection, remember?
56
00:03:26,193 --> 00:03:28,514
Well honey, it's something
that we can talk about.
57
00:03:29,778 --> 00:03:30,783
- Anytime.
- Yeah...
58
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,279
Sure, mom.
59
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:39,995
Anytime? I remeber when
I could talk that way.
60
00:03:40,095 --> 00:03:42,736
Now it's as if we speak
different languages.
61
00:03:43,169 --> 00:03:45,590
Or maybe she's just as
lost with words as i am,
62
00:03:45,690 --> 00:03:48,174
and we're both just groping
around unable to say...
63
00:03:48,274 --> 00:03:50,358
what we really mean to each other.
64
00:03:51,154 --> 00:03:57,277
Sometimes I just wish I could
tell my mother i'm afraid!
65
00:03:59,402 --> 00:04:02,491
♪ One pill makes you larger...
66
00:04:02,568 --> 00:04:06,654
♪ And one pill makes you small.
67
00:04:06,754 --> 00:04:11,061
♪ And the ones that mother gives you...
68
00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:15,106
♪ Don't do anything at all.
69
00:04:15,547 --> 00:04:17,478
♪ Go ask Alice.
70
00:04:19,144 --> 00:04:21,984
♪ When she's ten feet tall.
71
00:04:24,311 --> 00:04:28,328
♪ And if you go chasing rabbits...
72
00:04:28,485 --> 00:04:33,210
♪ And you know you're going to fall...
73
00:04:33,310 --> 00:04:37,095
♪ Tell 'em a hookah smoking caterpillar...
74
00:04:37,199 --> 00:04:41,510
♪ Has given you the call.
75
00:04:41,745 --> 00:04:43,674
♪ Call Alice.
76
00:04:45,481 --> 00:04:49,901
♪ When she was just small.
77
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,423
♪ When the men on the chessboard...
78
00:04:54,523 --> 00:04:58,786
♪ Get up and tell you where to go...
79
00:04:58,921 --> 00:05:03,148
♪ And you've just had
some kind of mushroom...
80
00:05:03,268 --> 00:05:07,465
♪ And your mind is moving low...
81
00:05:07,665 --> 00:05:11,384
♪ Go ask Alice!
82
00:05:11,484 --> 00:05:16,334
♪ I think she'll know.
83
00:05:16,436 --> 00:05:20,513
♪ When logic and proportion...
84
00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:24,918
♪ Have fallen sloppy dead...
85
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:29,243
♪ And the White Knight
♪ is talking backwards...
86
00:05:29,343 --> 00:05:33,421
♪ And the Red Queen's
♪ off with her head...
87
00:05:33,601 --> 00:05:41,751
♪ Remember what the dormouse said,
88
00:05:41,859 --> 00:05:52,891
♪ "Feed your head, feed your head".
89
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,782
Congratulations, Alice!
90
00:05:59,507 --> 00:06:01,206
Clothes are all wrong.
91
00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:08,053
Now, students, do you understand
everything we discussed today?
92
00:06:08,161 --> 00:06:12,001
You have your list of all the things that
you need for the classtest tomorrow.
93
00:06:12,447 --> 00:06:13,719
Any questions?
94
00:06:13,821 --> 00:06:16,453
Jan Meeker is passing out your
assignments, your schedules.
95
00:06:16,553 --> 00:06:19,142
please be sure you have one
before you go to lunch.
96
00:06:19,242 --> 00:06:22,606
And if there's any question I'd appreciate
if you discuss it with me today.
97
00:06:22,708 --> 00:06:25,229
Don't forget the Student
council election tomorrow.
98
00:06:25,357 --> 00:06:28,346
Anybody interested in
campaign you better get busy!
99
00:06:39,124 --> 00:06:41,314
Are you going to the cafeteria?
100
00:06:42,458 --> 00:06:44,044
Yeah, where is it?
101
00:06:44,144 --> 00:06:45,190
Where the sign says.
102
00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:47,156
Cafeteria, are you kidding?
103
00:06:47,385 --> 00:06:48,189
What's in the bag, uh?
104
00:06:48,289 --> 00:06:50,281
Oh no, oh!
105
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:53,619
Guess it doesn't matter
what I wear or what I say,
106
00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:56,219
whether I go to the cafeteria
and eat all alone...
107
00:06:56,319 --> 00:06:58,760
or try to sit with some
other creep or what.
108
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,043
Maybe it's never going to matter.
109
00:07:04,229 --> 00:07:06,674
I'm not going to make
it in school either.
110
00:07:09,574 --> 00:07:11,465
Double fries, jumbo malted.
111
00:07:14,508 --> 00:07:16,758
Well diary, I still have you...
112
00:07:16,858 --> 00:07:18,987
but what a lousy month it's been.
113
00:07:19,013 --> 00:07:22,108
I've gained 8 pound, my
face is breaking out and...
114
00:07:23,776 --> 00:07:25,443
I think I've found a friend.
115
00:07:25,567 --> 00:07:27,032
Her name is Beth Baum.
116
00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:31,092
I've seen her around school and at
a couple of other hamburger places.
117
00:07:31,474 --> 00:07:33,212
We seem to have a lot in common,
118
00:07:33,332 --> 00:07:35,056
besides our weight problems.
119
00:07:35,332 --> 00:07:36,870
We're both kinda shy,
120
00:07:37,041 --> 00:07:39,792
We both feel older than
most 15 year-olds.
121
00:07:39,973 --> 00:07:41,170
Now I'll have someone to walk with,
122
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,342
to talk to in the cafeteria.
123
00:07:44,204 --> 00:07:45,923
I've decided to watch our figures...
124
00:07:46,023 --> 00:07:48,014
even if nobody else does.
125
00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:54,722
Beth is super cool
about not being popular,
126
00:07:55,153 --> 00:07:56,551
unlike me,
127
00:07:56,714 --> 00:08:00,530
but I'm afraid you have to be
super smart to be that cool.
128
00:08:01,158 --> 00:08:02,261
Beth?
129
00:08:04,694 --> 00:08:06,828
- Bethy?
- Huh?
130
00:08:07,874 --> 00:08:11,663
Do you suppose that girls
like us ever get married?
131
00:08:13,055 --> 00:08:16,069
Married? Well, all I'm
trying to do is accelerate...
132
00:08:16,169 --> 00:08:17,424
- so that I can get
out of high school...
133
00:08:17,524 --> 00:08:19,169
- and get into college.
- No, I mean ever, like...
134
00:08:19,269 --> 00:08:20,689
you know, when we're older.
135
00:08:21,275 --> 00:08:23,892
Well, if I can get good in languages...
136
00:08:23,992 --> 00:08:26,529
I should be able to get a job
that involves a lot of travels.
137
00:08:26,629 --> 00:08:29,626
Oh, Come on! Don't you
ever want to get married?
138
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:36,718
Yeah, I guess, only I have
this sort of nightmare.
139
00:08:38,265 --> 00:08:39,674
It's pretty weird.
140
00:08:40,408 --> 00:08:42,450
I have some weird dreams, too.
141
00:08:42,650 --> 00:08:47,108
Well, my grandmother told
me that if a Jewish boy...
142
00:08:47,208 --> 00:08:51,405
finds out that the girl he's
marrying isn't a virgin...
143
00:08:52,421 --> 00:08:55,397
he can leave her right in
the middle of the synagogue.
144
00:08:55,879 --> 00:09:01,880
Like... at the last minute. Just
walk out in front of everybody.
145
00:09:02,579 --> 00:09:05,962
But, you're a virgin.
I mean, aren't you?
146
00:09:06,262 --> 00:09:09,281
Well, now I am.
147
00:09:09,996 --> 00:09:14,058
But, in the dream, I'm just
standing in front of the rabbi,
148
00:09:14,158 --> 00:09:19,446
in my beautiful gown, with
everybody whispering, I'm not.
149
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,098
But how can they prove it?
150
00:09:22,832 --> 00:09:26,767
- Some kind of examination, I guess.
- At the wedding?
151
00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:33,942
I don't know.
152
00:09:35,135 --> 00:09:37,891
My grandmother never told
me how they prove it.
153
00:09:38,464 --> 00:09:41,153
Maybe she was lying just to scare me.
154
00:09:41,432 --> 00:09:43,661
Wouldn't somebody in your family know?
155
00:09:45,179 --> 00:09:47,197
I can't ask them that!
156
00:09:47,624 --> 00:09:49,191
What would they think?
157
00:09:50,237 --> 00:09:51,720
I know.
158
00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:58,787
Strange that Beth and I could talk so easily...
159
00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:00,778
and I can tell her all about my diary...
160
00:10:01,176 --> 00:10:03,019
and I am afraid to let my
mother and father know...
161
00:10:03,119 --> 00:10:04,649
that I have one.
162
00:10:05,145 --> 00:10:07,855
Strange too how time went
so slowly for Beth and I...
163
00:10:07,955 --> 00:10:09,262
before we met each other,
164
00:10:09,558 --> 00:10:12,497
and now that we're
friends it's gone by so fast.
165
00:10:12,656 --> 00:10:14,778
The term was over before we knew it.
166
00:10:15,212 --> 00:10:18,369
pull up the water from the Nile...
167
00:10:19,184 --> 00:10:21,334
Maybe we're too dependent on each other...
168
00:10:21,534 --> 00:10:23,357
but what are best friends for?
169
00:10:23,673 --> 00:10:25,404
We both dreaded the
end of the semester...
170
00:10:25,504 --> 00:10:27,514
because now Beth has to
go away for the summer...
171
00:10:27,614 --> 00:10:30,627
to camp in Vermont, and I'm stuck here.
172
00:10:31,897 --> 00:10:34,001
At least Mom and Dad
understand how lonely I will be...
173
00:10:34,101 --> 00:10:36,622
and they're going to let me make
two long distance calls to her.
174
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:41,149
It's decent of them but it's still
going to be a terrible summer.
175
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,911
I've never been so bored in all my life.
176
00:11:00,633 --> 00:11:03,505
♪ I just saw her with my best friend...
177
00:11:03,887 --> 00:11:05,482
♪ Do you know what I mean?
178
00:11:07,468 --> 00:11:10,219
♪ D'you know, know what I mean?
179
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:13,892
Ehy, uh... why don't you come in?
180
00:11:16,891 --> 00:11:19,060
Hi, how are you?
181
00:11:19,260 --> 00:11:20,367
I didn't know you worked here.
182
00:11:20,467 --> 00:11:22,000
Yeah, all summer.
183
00:11:22,794 --> 00:11:24,545
Do you wanna look around?
184
00:11:24,825 --> 00:11:26,131
Yeah!
185
00:11:31,193 --> 00:11:34,369
Makes me wanna ask my Dad for
some more money for clothes.
186
00:11:35,524 --> 00:11:38,684
Uh, your dad's kinda big around here.
187
00:11:40,009 --> 00:11:41,663
You mean because of his lectures?
188
00:11:42,133 --> 00:11:45,934
Yeah, I hear his name, you
know, all over the place.
189
00:11:47,830 --> 00:11:51,821
Hmm, my folks might be going
away this weekend to a party...
190
00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:54,943
and I thought I'd have one of my own.
191
00:11:55,146 --> 00:11:56,386
Are you free?
192
00:11:58,687 --> 00:12:00,009
Am I free?
193
00:12:00,109 --> 00:12:01,874
Wow, am I free!
194
00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:11,419
Some of these guys
must be college age,
195
00:12:11,519 --> 00:12:13,269
I've never seen them around our school.
196
00:12:13,949 --> 00:12:16,717
I guess they're always nice as
Chris when you get to know them.
197
00:12:17,198 --> 00:12:18,622
I just hope some of the kids...
198
00:12:18,722 --> 00:12:21,277
don't start that number
about dope or drinking.
199
00:12:22,098 --> 00:12:23,779
I have to admit I've never tried it...
200
00:12:23,879 --> 00:12:24,988
or take it...
201
00:12:25,088 --> 00:12:26,118
Alright!
202
00:12:26,218 --> 00:12:27,200
Button, button.
203
00:12:27,300 --> 00:12:29,080
Button, button, who's got the button?
204
00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:32,039
Button, button, who's got the button?
205
00:12:33,036 --> 00:12:36,074
Don't be greedy! Babies first!
206
00:12:37,282 --> 00:12:38,403
Oh, Yeah!
207
00:12:41,235 --> 00:12:42,012
- Button, button!
- Thank you!
208
00:12:42,312 --> 00:12:43,900
Button, button!
209
00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:45,773
Button, button!
210
00:12:50,786 --> 00:12:52,905
- Ready to do it?
- Hmm.
211
00:12:53,767 --> 00:12:59,288
♪ Dear Mr. Fantasy play us a tune.
212
00:12:59,647 --> 00:13:04,091
♪ Something to make us all happy.
213
00:13:05,602 --> 00:13:10,741
♪ Do anything, take us out of this gloom...
214
00:13:10,841 --> 00:13:16,161
{\an8}♪ Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy...
215
00:13:13,657 --> 00:13:16,463
Hey, stop playing that song!
216
00:13:19,127 --> 00:13:21,175
And now we have our first winner of the...
217
00:13:24,357 --> 00:13:25,471
What's happening?
218
00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:27,842
Don't worry, you just relax!
219
00:13:30,770 --> 00:13:33,079
I feel really strange, I feel..
220
00:13:36,307 --> 00:13:37,361
feel really sick!
221
00:13:37,505 --> 00:13:41,440
Now, well, I'm here, hey?
Just let it happen.
222
00:13:57,942 --> 00:14:01,162
- Are they trying to poison me?
- No! No, they aren't.
223
00:14:01,862 --> 00:14:06,770
Enjoy it! You're going to have
a beautiful trip, I promise.
224
00:14:06,970 --> 00:14:08,498
That's why I didn't get any,
225
00:14:09,075 --> 00:14:11,069
so that I could take care of you.
226
00:14:16,418 --> 00:14:20,373
At... At first I felt totally
cut off from everyone,
227
00:14:20,915 --> 00:14:23,649
thought I was dying very slowly!
228
00:14:24,353 --> 00:14:28,052
I knew that no one in the
world outside me could help.
229
00:14:29,324 --> 00:14:30,955
It was so frightening...
230
00:14:31,347 --> 00:14:33,209
...that I wanted to die.
231
00:14:35,869 --> 00:14:37,663
Then the ugliness left.
232
00:14:38,109 --> 00:14:43,516
But everything... anything
became new and beautiful.
233
00:14:46,837 --> 00:14:49,717
After that I felt that
I found the perfect,
234
00:14:49,817 --> 00:14:51,998
true and original language.
235
00:14:52,304 --> 00:14:57,788
My mind seemed to possess all
the wisdom, knowledge of the ages.
236
00:14:59,049 --> 00:15:02,799
There were no words adequate
to explain it to anyone.
237
00:15:04,241 --> 00:15:11,707
I... for the first time in my life, I felt
beautiful, free and non antipathique.
238
00:15:14,554 --> 00:15:19,114
Now that it's over I'm not sure
whether I'm ashamed or elated.
239
00:15:19,934 --> 00:15:22,054
I guess I'm glad they
did it to me because...
240
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:25,069
I can honestly say it wasn't my decision.
241
00:15:25,692 --> 00:15:28,867
I'll always remember
that feeling, but it's over.
242
00:15:28,967 --> 00:15:33,661
I've had the experience now
and I'll never do it again.
243
00:15:34,284 --> 00:15:35,644
Phone!
244
00:15:38,224 --> 00:15:39,346
Are you awake?
245
00:15:39,546 --> 00:15:41,171
It's almost noon!
246
00:15:41,776 --> 00:15:44,076
It's... it's that boy, Ritchie,
247
00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:46,603
who brought you off
from the party last night.
248
00:15:47,492 --> 00:15:50,300
You want to take it or you want
me to have him call you back?
249
00:15:53,094 --> 00:15:54,420
Alice?
250
00:15:56,052 --> 00:15:58,942
Yeah... Yeah... I'll take it.
251
00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,218
The summer's getting pretty skitzy now:
252
00:16:04,318 --> 00:16:05,777
tripping with Richie at night,
253
00:16:06,254 --> 00:16:08,243
playing it straight in the daytime.
254
00:16:08,378 --> 00:16:11,749
Mom and Dad don't suspect anything
as far as drugs go, of course.
255
00:16:12,245 --> 00:16:16,766
But they're nagging about my hair and
clothes and attitude enough to drive me crazy.
256
00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:20,380
That, plus my monthly pregnancy
scare makes me "borrow"...
257
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,486
a lot of Mom and Dad's tranquilizers
but they never miss them.
258
00:16:23,603 --> 00:16:28,406
Richie says, "Parents always know there's
missing booze but never pills or cash.
259
00:16:28,686 --> 00:16:30,888
He says, "that shows
where their heads are at".
260
00:16:32,745 --> 00:16:35,049
Well Diary, school has finally started again.
261
00:16:35,149 --> 00:16:38,572
It's really weird how the same
place that I hated last time...
262
00:16:38,672 --> 00:16:40,780
has become my sanctuary this time.
263
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,420
I'm at 103 lbs and feeling great.
264
00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,021
Whenever I get hungry or
tired I just pop a benny.
265
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,355
Ritchie even gives me this stuff to
have when for when I am alone...
266
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:49,565
...or want to turn on.
267
00:16:49,745 --> 00:16:51,219
Isn't that nice?
268
00:16:55,232 --> 00:16:56,639
Alice?
269
00:16:57,904 --> 00:16:59,152
Ah, there you are.
270
00:17:00,634 --> 00:17:02,545
I almost didn't recognize you!
271
00:17:03,033 --> 00:17:05,058
Hey, listen, I'm sorry I didn't
call you back on Saturday...
272
00:17:05,158 --> 00:17:09,376
...it was just that, uh, this
weekend was really wild!
273
00:17:09,476 --> 00:17:11,216
Like... all three weeks I've been home!
274
00:17:11,350 --> 00:17:13,554
Three weeks? Wow.
275
00:17:13,654 --> 00:17:15,256
I didn't realize it's been that long!
276
00:17:15,356 --> 00:17:19,018
It's just that I've been really busy and, well,
277
00:17:19,144 --> 00:17:20,944
I've got an old man now.
278
00:17:21,313 --> 00:17:23,653
Yeah, well, I've met somebody too.
279
00:17:23,789 --> 00:17:25,204
His name is Bud.
280
00:17:26,203 --> 00:17:28,361
He goes to college back East.
281
00:17:29,742 --> 00:17:32,715
So, I guess we won't be able to see
each other except on weekends and...
282
00:17:33,124 --> 00:17:35,811
holidays and things, you know...
283
00:17:37,065 --> 00:17:39,545
but we decided it was worth the wait.
284
00:17:40,094 --> 00:17:43,287
Yeah, well, still waiting, uh?
285
00:17:44,081 --> 00:17:46,575
Well, you know... our families and things...
286
00:17:46,924 --> 00:17:49,179
Hey, Alice, we go for lunch?
287
00:17:49,611 --> 00:17:50,705
Yeah, I'll be right there.
288
00:17:50,805 --> 00:17:53,733
Hey, listen, I gotta go OK?
I'll see you around.
289
00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:56,930
Yeah, well, I'd really like to you to
meet him sometimes if you can.
290
00:17:57,606 --> 00:17:59,661
Sure, anytime, just call!
291
00:18:01,308 --> 00:18:02,349
Sure.
292
00:18:04,213 --> 00:18:06,800
How can you tell somebody
you have outgrown them?
293
00:18:15,235 --> 00:18:18,421
Sometimes I wish every straight
kid could be turned on like I was,
294
00:18:18,691 --> 00:18:19,775
Just once.
295
00:18:19,926 --> 00:18:22,163
Feel that first beautiful lift...
296
00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:25,809
and they'd find out what they're
missing. And join the party,
297
00:18:26,196 --> 00:18:28,602
Instead of getting left out like Beth.
298
00:18:29,164 --> 00:18:30,032
I thought about inviting her but...
299
00:18:30,132 --> 00:18:33,555
...she would have got really uptight
when we started doing this stuff.
300
00:18:35,646 --> 00:18:38,732
Happy birthday Alice!
301
00:18:39,408 --> 00:18:41,833
Hey man, your brother's on fire!
302
00:18:43,050 --> 00:18:47,135
Stand up, stand up, stand
up and take your praise...
303
00:18:47,235 --> 00:18:49,274
...your praise. stand up!
304
00:18:49,767 --> 00:18:51,035
She can't!
305
00:18:59,659 --> 00:19:01,283
Don't you want me to
blow out my candles?
306
00:19:01,453 --> 00:19:03,882
Well, sure he wants you
to blow out the candles!
307
00:19:05,015 --> 00:19:06,573
Come on kids!
308
00:19:06,873 --> 00:19:10,060
I mean it's not old fashion to
celebrate a birthday these days, is it?
309
00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,423
Listen, we're really dying for something sweet.
310
00:19:12,523 --> 00:19:14,675
Yeah, we crave sweets!
311
00:19:16,046 --> 00:19:19,021
Ehy you see honey birthday
cakes aren't so square!
312
00:19:19,121 --> 00:19:20,555
They're round.
313
00:19:22,705 --> 00:19:25,862
Alice, make your wish, this year
we break out the champagne!
314
00:19:30,801 --> 00:19:33,938
Can you believe it?
Stoned out of my mind and...
315
00:19:34,038 --> 00:19:36,147
my own parents can't tell difference.
316
00:19:36,421 --> 00:19:38,286
How did they get to the age they are?
317
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:41,436
Who's more out of it, them, or us?
318
00:19:43,010 --> 00:19:44,578
Having a wonderful time...
319
00:19:45,007 --> 00:19:46,365
Wish you were here,
320
00:19:46,691 --> 00:19:48,950
I could tell you a thing or two.
321
00:20:06,604 --> 00:20:09,160
Come on you guys, it's time to eat.
322
00:20:19,737 --> 00:20:22,658
Think fast! Hey, good catch!
323
00:20:24,512 --> 00:20:27,516
I though I'd bring these tests over to you.
324
00:20:27,773 --> 00:20:30,677
Good! Come and meet my family.
325
00:20:31,243 --> 00:20:32,261
Bobby!
326
00:20:32,430 --> 00:20:34,236
- John Clements.
- Hi.
327
00:20:34,236 --> 00:20:35,945
- Oh, how do you do?
- My slave driven T.A.
328
00:20:36,045 --> 00:20:38,506
- Pretty good. Nice to meet you.
- Are you the Chaucer assistant?
329
00:20:38,616 --> 00:20:41,373
Ah no, I'm in contemporary Lit,
my Middle English stinks.
330
00:20:41,473 --> 00:20:42,978
- And this is Big Tim.
- Hi.
331
00:20:43,078 --> 00:20:45,691
Our star end. There's Alice over there!
332
00:20:46,195 --> 00:20:48,551
Alice? That used to be Alice.
Honey, isn't that Alice?
333
00:20:48,651 --> 00:20:51,393
I'm sure that's Alice, she's been
sleeping in Alice's room lately.
334
00:20:51,501 --> 00:20:52,946
Well, the feet look familiar...
335
00:20:53,046 --> 00:20:55,047
...but the hair kind of
hides everything else.
336
00:20:55,219 --> 00:20:56,699
If you weren't so uptight
about yourselves...
337
00:20:56,799 --> 00:20:59,371
- you wouldn't be bugging me all the time.
- Honey, that's no way to speak to your mother.
338
00:20:59,762 --> 00:21:04,519
OK, OK, Joel, how about staying for
some cold ham and potato salad?
339
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,377
Uh, sure, if I'm not intruding, uh, I...
340
00:21:07,477 --> 00:21:09,018
No, no, no, listen.
341
00:21:09,424 --> 00:21:12,156
If war breaks out again
between the generations,
342
00:21:12,261 --> 00:21:14,998
you can referee, did you bring
your striped shirt and whistle?
343
00:21:19,175 --> 00:21:20,615
He eats more than I do!
344
00:21:20,843 --> 00:21:22,363
Uh, Tim is our Refuse Department.
345
00:21:23,161 --> 00:21:24,600
If they gave a scholarship for gluttony,
346
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:25,931
Tim would be a shoo-in.
347
00:21:27,390 --> 00:21:29,209
That's terrible.
348
00:21:30,437 --> 00:21:33,412
What do you know about that
scholarship renewal for Ritchie, uh,
349
00:21:33,874 --> 00:21:35,276
what's his name, Alice's friend,
350
00:21:35,376 --> 00:21:36,805
he's in your section, isn't he?
351
00:21:37,580 --> 00:21:41,688
Oh, yeah, uhm, he started up pretty
good but he's been slipping a lot lately.
352
00:21:41,788 --> 00:21:44,108
He got top grades on
his papers, I saw them.
353
00:21:44,773 --> 00:21:46,441
Well, yeah, he's a smart guy, alright,
354
00:21:46,541 --> 00:21:49,764
but, uhm, well he's got a lot
of work that's overdue.
355
00:21:50,567 --> 00:21:52,683
He's not gonna lose
his scholarship, is he?
356
00:21:57,807 --> 00:21:59,391
Does he care?
357
00:22:08,282 --> 00:22:10,214
Wish Ritchie were here to straighten 'em out,
358
00:22:10,530 --> 00:22:14,089
Then I wouldn't have to zonk myself
to get through moments like this.
359
00:22:14,423 --> 00:22:16,952
Between the downs at home
and the uppers at school,
360
00:22:17,052 --> 00:22:21,172
to get over the downs I'm popping
more pills than I can keep track of.
361
00:22:29,951 --> 00:22:31,926
Did you hear about Bill getting busted?
362
00:22:32,041 --> 00:22:34,720
- Yeah, yeah.
- For possession and dealing.
363
00:22:35,026 --> 00:22:37,846
I heard all about it, He's
pushing at the junior high.
364
00:22:38,236 --> 00:22:41,184
- Junior high?
- What--what if he's, uhm...
365
00:22:41,380 --> 00:22:43,295
...says things about his connections?
366
00:22:43,549 --> 00:22:47,469
Now, look ladies, two more facts of life:
367
00:22:47,747 --> 00:22:50,900
one, he's not gonna say anything.
368
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,819
Nobody's gonna say anything.
369
00:22:53,513 --> 00:22:56,215
Two, anybody wants to pay for a high,
370
00:22:57,088 --> 00:22:58,929
is gonna find a source.
371
00:22:59,226 --> 00:23:03,926
Right? So, junior high or senior high,
somebody's gonna make the bread.
372
00:23:04,129 --> 00:23:05,699
Might as well be us, baby!
373
00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:10,578
It's like penny candy for these
pre-meds to get this stuff!
374
00:23:11,496 --> 00:23:13,924
The whole scene,
whatever anyone's bag is...
375
00:23:14,265 --> 00:23:15,753
all they want.
376
00:23:17,906 --> 00:23:20,650
Yeah, we don't have the
time to push, Ritchie baby.
377
00:23:21,048 --> 00:23:24,309
Yeah but, you know,
in schools, and in our car,
378
00:23:24,409 --> 00:23:27,347
and, you know, it's
taking a chance, isn't it?
379
00:23:27,536 --> 00:23:29,154
It's worth taking the chance!
380
00:23:29,390 --> 00:23:31,508
Except for the labs we've missed...
381
00:23:33,333 --> 00:23:37,906
I just don't understand why you're
into this pushing all of a suddent...
382
00:23:39,618 --> 00:23:43,392
- don't you work on weekends anymore?
- Now, don't get in an uproar...
383
00:23:48,531 --> 00:23:51,650
What comes from too much
talk, and not enough smoke?
384
00:23:52,362 --> 00:23:54,277
Alice and I could, uhm...
385
00:23:54,911 --> 00:23:58,141
do Bill's number at the junior high.
386
00:23:58,268 --> 00:24:00,378
Bill is pushing mostly pills.
387
00:24:03,518 --> 00:24:05,699
We could use that money
now, couldn't we, Ritchie?
388
00:24:06,098 --> 00:24:07,349
Gonna miss it!
389
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,908
Well, I think I could pay it back to you.
390
00:24:12,352 --> 00:24:13,939
You're good to me.
391
00:24:15,126 --> 00:24:16,555
Wow!
392
00:24:17,697 --> 00:24:19,235
Would you do that for me?
393
00:24:21,102 --> 00:24:23,884
Sure. I'd do anything.
394
00:24:25,180 --> 00:24:27,373
You haven't had any
speed yet, have you?
395
00:24:28,008 --> 00:24:29,353
No.
396
00:24:32,190 --> 00:24:33,105
Well...
397
00:24:34,109 --> 00:24:36,326
I want some good news.
398
00:24:43,486 --> 00:24:45,335
I'm with Ritchie and we're both high.
399
00:24:45,435 --> 00:24:47,363
It's a really wild feeling.
400
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:49,274
But when we're not high,
401
00:24:49,590 --> 00:24:51,070
he seems to forget about me.
402
00:24:51,378 --> 00:24:53,806
He... he never even touches me then.
403
00:24:54,349 --> 00:24:56,471
Sometimes I find myself wondering,
404
00:24:56,571 --> 00:24:58,974
what it... what it's like without dope.
405
00:24:59,516 --> 00:25:01,513
Just feeling things straight.
406
00:25:09,184 --> 00:25:10,728
I thought you'd be older!
407
00:25:11,116 --> 00:25:13,432
I'm pushing at the grade school.
408
00:25:32,958 --> 00:25:34,513
Are these yours?
409
00:25:35,562 --> 00:25:36,722
No.
410
00:25:39,275 --> 00:25:41,457
Somebody just gave them to me.
411
00:25:41,605 --> 00:25:42,784
I didn't even want 'em.
412
00:25:42,884 --> 00:25:43,864
Who's it, Ritchie?
413
00:25:43,964 --> 00:25:46,073
Is this the reason for
his slump at school?
414
00:25:46,173 --> 00:25:47,591
And... and.. and... your peculiar?
415
00:25:47,691 --> 00:25:50,901
The reason for his slump is
because he's out on his feet.
416
00:25:51,361 --> 00:25:53,283
Ritchie has two night jobs, and...
417
00:25:54,586 --> 00:25:58,463
besides, can't prescribe medicines
just because he's in pre-med.
418
00:25:59,447 --> 00:26:02,096
And anyhow, I'm not in a slump, so, uhm...
419
00:26:02,465 --> 00:26:04,050
so I guess you got your signals crossed, huh.
420
00:26:04,335 --> 00:26:05,969
Then straighten us out, honey.
421
00:26:06,069 --> 00:26:09,403
If it wasn't Ritchie, where did you
get those pills you had upstairs?
422
00:26:11,504 --> 00:26:13,365
Some girls for some crams or something,
423
00:26:13,465 --> 00:26:15,757
or just about anybody to stay up for a test.
424
00:26:16,331 --> 00:26:18,683
I haven't even tried'em. I didn't
even know I really had them.
425
00:26:18,883 --> 00:26:20,771
I found them right in your desk!
426
00:26:22,132 --> 00:26:24,643
You're vacuum the inside
of my desk now?
427
00:26:24,693 --> 00:26:27,098
The drawer was open,
they were right on top.
428
00:26:28,122 --> 00:26:30,160
- So, I guess I wasn't expecting a search then.
429
00:26:30,260 --> 00:26:32,623
- I don't search my children's robes.
- She knows that, darling,
430
00:26:32,723 --> 00:26:34,779
she knows that we
respect her privacy, honey,
431
00:26:34,882 --> 00:26:37,581
all we want is to be sure that
you aren't experimenting...
432
00:26:37,681 --> 00:26:39,706
with this stuff or any other drugs.
433
00:26:40,000 --> 00:26:42,310
And that you'd tell us
about it if you do, or try.
434
00:26:42,410 --> 00:26:44,119
All we want is your word.
435
00:26:47,492 --> 00:26:49,568
We've always trusted you, Alice.
436
00:26:50,254 --> 00:26:52,351
All we want is keep on trusting you.
437
00:26:52,361 --> 00:26:54,126
I know you have.
438
00:26:58,774 --> 00:27:00,500
I give you my word.
439
00:27:01,270 --> 00:27:04,015
Now, that's what I hoped to hear.
440
00:27:57,048 --> 00:27:58,619
Who was that?
441
00:28:00,371 --> 00:28:04,497
Man, are we dummies! Damn it!
Those creeps was just using us.
442
00:28:04,597 --> 00:28:05,739
Both of us.
443
00:28:06,102 --> 00:28:09,177
And God knows how
many other stupid girs.
444
00:28:09,585 --> 00:28:12,962
The least we can do is to
take the money. It's ours too.
445
00:28:34,461 --> 00:28:35,461
Hey,
446
00:28:36,057 --> 00:28:38,018
do you think we did the right thing?
447
00:28:41,755 --> 00:28:44,665
Well I think it'd be worst if we stayed.
448
00:28:46,396 --> 00:28:50,043
Now all that money is gone
I don't trust at all Ritchie.
449
00:28:51,752 --> 00:28:53,974
I don't even trust myself.
450
00:28:59,308 --> 00:29:02,594
How long do you think 200$ is gonna last?
451
00:29:05,382 --> 00:29:07,013
They will last.
452
00:29:09,993 --> 00:29:12,315
Maybe if we keep straight.
453
00:29:14,169 --> 00:29:16,666
Maybe if we promise to keep straight.
454
00:29:20,492 --> 00:29:23,116
I can't promise, Chris.
455
00:29:24,277 --> 00:29:26,580
I can't trust myself.
456
00:29:27,827 --> 00:29:30,044
I can't trust myself either.
457
00:29:32,365 --> 00:29:35,030
It's kind of a bad thing we're into.
458
00:29:35,406 --> 00:29:37,314
Kickin' all that stuff.
459
00:29:38,689 --> 00:29:41,737
Tell me that it was just for fun and...
460
00:29:41,837 --> 00:29:43,708
that we weren't really hooked.
461
00:29:45,991 --> 00:29:47,603
I don't know, Alice.
462
00:29:49,437 --> 00:29:52,127
I haven't been straight for two years.
463
00:30:30,278 --> 00:30:31,766
Where's Chris?
464
00:30:31,967 --> 00:30:33,580
Have you got anything?
465
00:30:36,905 --> 00:30:40,013
- Where is she?
- Listen I don't know any Chris.
466
00:30:40,421 --> 00:30:42,179
You got any uppers left?
467
00:30:42,691 --> 00:30:44,392
I don't know you?
468
00:30:45,181 --> 00:30:48,626
What's the matter, you're in
a blackout? I brought you here.
469
00:30:50,232 --> 00:30:51,577
Who are you?
470
00:30:51,928 --> 00:30:54,394
I'm Doris. We've been all over.
471
00:30:55,299 --> 00:30:56,885
For how long?
472
00:30:59,928 --> 00:31:01,040
Forever.
473
00:31:09,378 --> 00:31:11,216
What happened to the music?
474
00:31:11,726 --> 00:31:14,010
The whole rally was cancelled, remember?
475
00:31:14,580 --> 00:31:17,162
Somebody must have
really slipped you a bad pill.
476
00:31:18,005 --> 00:31:19,378
Yeah, well,
477
00:31:20,009 --> 00:31:22,510
- I wish they'd do it again.
- Yeah...
478
00:31:22,892 --> 00:31:27,073
Yeah, well I figured there'd be a
few caps left to tide me off. I'm dyin'.
479
00:31:29,231 --> 00:31:32,057
Hey uhm, there's gotta be some
place to crash around here, right?
480
00:31:32,157 --> 00:31:34,039
Yeah, there's this creep
at the Digger's Cafe,
481
00:31:34,139 --> 00:31:35,617
says he'll give you some
bread to go home with him.
482
00:31:35,717 --> 00:31:36,827
So why don't you?
483
00:31:37,431 --> 00:31:40,771
Tried, says baby hookers just turn him off.
484
00:31:41,892 --> 00:31:43,838
Been making it longer than he has.
485
00:31:48,663 --> 00:31:49,921
How old are you?
486
00:31:51,283 --> 00:31:52,956
You know, fourteen.
487
00:31:59,174 --> 00:32:00,712
Hey uh...
488
00:32:02,323 --> 00:32:04,509
I gotta go now, I'll see you.
489
00:32:06,633 --> 00:32:09,089
Hey wait, wait. Don't you want this?
490
00:32:12,465 --> 00:32:14,067
What're you writing?
491
00:32:15,052 --> 00:32:16,358
I don't remember.
492
00:32:16,489 --> 00:32:18,479
Yeah, well I bet it's really far out stuff.
493
00:32:18,579 --> 00:32:19,877
See later, Alice.
494
00:32:26,799 --> 00:32:29,354
OK diary, it's happened.
495
00:32:29,634 --> 00:32:32,790
Damn, we didn't even last a month.
496
00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:35,818
Dallas to Phoenix to L.A.
497
00:32:36,008 --> 00:32:38,987
No jobs anywhere but plenty of dope.
498
00:32:39,078 --> 00:32:41,388
How you pay for it is something else.
499
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,310
Use your imagination, the man said,
500
00:32:46,483 --> 00:32:47,681
and...
501
00:32:48,141 --> 00:32:51,446
e- even that doesn't work sometimes.
502
00:32:53,144 --> 00:32:55,279
After a while you don't even
know what you're buying.
503
00:32:55,422 --> 00:32:58,415
Pure acid turns out to
be horse tranquilizer.
504
00:32:58,854 --> 00:33:00,620
I got on a jag with speed.
505
00:33:00,820 --> 00:33:02,623
Didn't eat for five days.
506
00:33:02,679 --> 00:33:05,154
Gotta stay away from the hard stuff.
507
00:33:05,816 --> 00:33:08,099
Sometimes grass just
doesn't make it for me.
508
00:33:08,697 --> 00:33:11,394
Chris likes heroin but
it makes me too sick.
509
00:33:11,524 --> 00:33:14,259
Little Alice searches for the perfect drug.
510
00:33:14,807 --> 00:33:17,609
Still not sure if I'm pregnant,
none of us takes that pill...
511
00:33:17,709 --> 00:33:20,477
'cause even if we had it
we'd never know what day it is.
512
00:33:21,535 --> 00:33:23,811
Chris and I found a place to crash.
513
00:33:24,002 --> 00:33:27,840
Weird lady, weird man but,
can't be that choosy.
514
00:33:27,935 --> 00:33:31,402
They... they keep their
dope in candy dishes.
515
00:33:31,511 --> 00:33:35,484
Oh God, how... how do
we get out of here?
516
00:33:36,071 --> 00:33:38,611
We're... we're like... prisoners.
517
00:33:39,864 --> 00:33:44,373
They- they just got Chris in the other
room. I- I can hear the screaming.
518
00:34:21,604 --> 00:34:24,758
We're just about booked out.
Are you coming or going?
519
00:34:24,874 --> 00:34:27,067
Uhm, well,
520
00:34:27,733 --> 00:34:31,314
- I'm not Catholic.
- Neither are they. You.
521
00:34:32,742 --> 00:34:33,638
Uhm...
522
00:34:33,838 --> 00:34:37,196
Someone at the Diggest Café
said that there was,uhm,
523
00:34:37,535 --> 00:34:38,974
a priest here who...
524
00:34:39,952 --> 00:34:41,386
who knew bad kids.
525
00:34:41,486 --> 00:34:44,317
- Knew what?
- Just knew.
526
00:34:45,190 --> 00:34:47,117
I think he knew more
about winos and drunks...
527
00:34:47,117 --> 00:34:49,196
but they are kind of outnumbered now.
528
00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:51,012
You want some coffee?
529
00:34:51,244 --> 00:34:54,619
No, uhm, here, I wanted to show you some...
530
00:34:56,294 --> 00:34:57,750
Let me, please.
531
00:34:58,545 --> 00:34:59,611
Whatever.
532
00:35:01,770 --> 00:35:03,724
Hear, I'm sorry, it's...
533
00:35:04,362 --> 00:35:05,902
it's just that it...
534
00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:08,112
my diary.
535
00:35:08,726 --> 00:35:10,321
Well, I'm a priest.
536
00:35:13,196 --> 00:35:14,419
Come on.
537
00:35:30,735 --> 00:35:34,275
Hey man, remember when we felt beautiful?
538
00:35:34,475 --> 00:35:36,412
About a hundred years ago?
539
00:35:45,983 --> 00:35:47,823
Did you get to read it?
540
00:35:50,020 --> 00:35:51,282
Parts of it.
541
00:35:54,505 --> 00:35:56,301
You... couldn't...
542
00:35:57,297 --> 00:35:58,454
Well,
543
00:36:01,453 --> 00:36:03,164
like you say...
544
00:36:04,447 --> 00:36:06,183
you're not Catholic.
545
00:36:06,283 --> 00:36:08,701
Wasn't really meant to be a confession,
546
00:36:09,738 --> 00:36:11,536
'cept maybe to yourself.
547
00:36:11,636 --> 00:36:14,170
When you start worrying about
what makes good reading,
548
00:36:15,283 --> 00:36:17,448
you might quit writing this stuff.
549
00:36:19,986 --> 00:36:23,654
I can't even look at it, I tried to and...
550
00:36:25,308 --> 00:36:27,761
Yeah, you tried.
551
00:36:31,433 --> 00:36:34,823
It... it made me sick, I...
552
00:36:38,375 --> 00:36:40,293
I am sick.
553
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,886
I... look, I need something.
554
00:36:44,235 --> 00:36:48,992
- Like what?
- (Groans)
555
00:36:49,268 --> 00:36:50,875
Another expert opinion.
556
00:36:50,975 --> 00:36:54,008
What... oh, right, alright, uh...
557
00:36:54,993 --> 00:36:57,931
I gotta stop, but I can't.
558
00:36:58,131 --> 00:37:03,294
I tried a month ago and
I can't- I can't stay off of it.
559
00:37:11,783 --> 00:37:13,335
I like it.
560
00:37:16,745 --> 00:37:18,773
I wanna live without it.
561
00:37:22,654 --> 00:37:25,051
Then you'll have to live with this.
562
00:37:32,154 --> 00:37:35,128
- It's your choice.
- Father.
563
00:37:35,473 --> 00:37:36,770
It's your choice.
564
00:37:37,070 --> 00:37:38,893
Oh, father.
565
00:37:40,273 --> 00:37:43,467
- One of you gets this.
- And the other one is "it".
566
00:37:51,395 --> 00:37:54,454
- It's all right, it's all right.
- Father.
567
00:37:54,496 --> 00:37:56,977
It's over, they're gone, they're gone.
568
00:37:57,157 --> 00:38:00,852
Just like it was that time. Could...
569
00:38:11,497 --> 00:38:14,972
So we... we were there for three days.
570
00:38:15,543 --> 00:38:16,772
Were you?
571
00:38:18,004 --> 00:38:19,873
I don't know.
572
00:38:21,807 --> 00:38:23,971
I don't know anything but what I read.
573
00:38:24,071 --> 00:38:26,301
That's the part that made you sick before.
574
00:38:32,950 --> 00:38:34,168
Maybe...
575
00:38:35,115 --> 00:38:36,980
maybe it never really happened, I mean,
576
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:38,553
maybe I was...
577
00:38:38,791 --> 00:38:41,123
just so upset that I made
the whole thing up,
578
00:38:41,622 --> 00:38:43,090
'cause Chris left.
579
00:38:43,482 --> 00:38:47,078
Do you want an opinion,
or do you want an alibi?
580
00:38:51,226 --> 00:38:52,828
Don't hassle me,
581
00:38:54,147 --> 00:38:56,150
do you want me to freak out again?
582
00:38:57,606 --> 00:38:59,404
Uh.. uhm.
583
00:39:03,051 --> 00:39:04,110
Listen.
584
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:06,878
Isn't it better for me to freak you out,
585
00:39:07,108 --> 00:39:09,132
than brain damage?
586
00:39:09,675 --> 00:39:12,757
I don't- I don't know what
would count any more.
587
00:39:13,131 --> 00:39:14,089
That's...
588
00:39:14,192 --> 00:39:16,715
- that's why I came.
- I know.
589
00:39:17,579 --> 00:39:19,486
Let the priest put it all together again,
590
00:39:19,586 --> 00:39:22,539
with a little help from the big head-setter
in the sky, but don't count on it.
591
00:39:22,639 --> 00:39:25,336
- You're looking for magic.
- I'm looking for help!
592
00:39:32,215 --> 00:39:33,875
Then look inside.
593
00:39:35,088 --> 00:39:37,277
Look at the part of you that won't give up.
594
00:39:37,505 --> 00:39:41,100
The part of you that... that stays alive
through... through a blackout.
595
00:39:41,297 --> 00:39:44,297
The part of you that won't
let you lie to yourself.
596
00:39:44,497 --> 00:39:46,436
Or your diary.
597
00:39:48,635 --> 00:39:51,803
- Did you read it?
- I didn't have to read much of it.
598
00:39:53,199 --> 00:39:54,907
I've heard it all.
599
00:39:58,598 --> 00:40:02,523
The thing that makes you
different from a lot of the others,
600
00:40:03,299 --> 00:40:04,742
is this:
601
00:40:06,641 --> 00:40:10,154
"At last I have something worthwhile to say".
602
00:40:11,520 --> 00:40:13,545
God knows you do.
603
00:40:14,714 --> 00:40:16,792
Maybe it isn't what you
thought you were saying.
604
00:40:17,534 --> 00:40:21,260
But it's enough to break
your heart, or your habit.
605
00:40:22,947 --> 00:40:25,532
Can you imagine what some of
these kids would write in a diary?
606
00:40:26,401 --> 00:40:31,174
365 pages with "wow" scrawled
across every one of them.
607
00:40:37,271 --> 00:40:39,124
Lock this up for now.
608
00:40:40,521 --> 00:40:43,411
And be sure to get another one
of these when you get home.
609
00:40:43,511 --> 00:40:46,311
You might as well stay
hooked on your good habit.
610
00:40:46,565 --> 00:40:47,766
Home?
611
00:40:48,593 --> 00:40:49,977
Well, sure.
612
00:40:50,895 --> 00:40:53,591
What do you want to do,
crash forever, Like him?
613
00:40:55,334 --> 00:40:57,379
The three of us make an odd couple.
614
00:40:59,133 --> 00:41:00,754
Come on, you're in.
615
00:41:00,854 --> 00:41:02,516
This your home phone?
616
00:41:02,763 --> 00:41:05,108
You... please, don't, wait.
617
00:41:07,112 --> 00:41:08,941
Do you want to, or don't you?
618
00:41:11,067 --> 00:41:13,713
Uh... I... I don't wanna make things worse.
619
00:41:15,626 --> 00:41:16,975
Take a chance.
620
00:41:20,393 --> 00:41:21,950
It's their dime.
621
00:41:22,877 --> 00:41:24,818
We'll reverse the charges.
622
00:41:28,492 --> 00:41:30,663
Yeah, uh, operator?
623
00:41:30,793 --> 00:41:33,233
Uhm, area code 513,
624
00:41:34,007 --> 00:41:38,394
the numbers 388 2685, collect, please.
625
00:41:39,099 --> 00:41:41,009
The party calling is Alice,
626
00:41:41,752 --> 00:41:44,564
just... Alice, they'll know... who it is.
627
00:41:46,364 --> 00:41:47,817
Who answered?
628
00:41:48,330 --> 00:41:50,357
Your father, but they're all getting on.
629
00:41:53,201 --> 00:41:55,762
I can't. I can't!
630
00:41:59,537 --> 00:42:02,808
It's all yours, Alice. It's all yours.
631
00:42:04,837 --> 00:42:06,286
Alice?
632
00:42:06,822 --> 00:42:12,138
Are you there? Alice?
Alice please, say hello.
633
00:42:13,472 --> 00:42:16,275
- Alice?
- Oh, daddy?
634
00:42:17,820 --> 00:42:19,768
Oh, mommy dear,
635
00:42:20,559 --> 00:42:22,222
I love you.
636
00:42:30,841 --> 00:42:34,509
Somehow, diary, I'm gonna
make it up to my family.
637
00:42:34,668 --> 00:42:37,450
They don't care what happened,
they don't even ask.
638
00:42:37,790 --> 00:42:39,597
They just want to show
the whole world that they...
639
00:42:39,797 --> 00:42:43,109
they're behind me. So that
it makes three on our side.
640
00:42:43,332 --> 00:42:46,071
Just in case the world's
lined up the other way.
641
00:42:49,236 --> 00:42:51,191
Uhh, have you got some stuff?
642
00:42:53,707 --> 00:42:55,267
I mean, you're kidding?
643
00:42:57,406 --> 00:42:59,497
Uh, Oh, hey wait, you're Alice, aren't you?
644
00:43:01,510 --> 00:43:04,114
- Forget it!
- Now look, Bill said you'd be holding!
645
00:43:04,250 --> 00:43:06,089
Then tell Bill to forget it too.
646
00:43:17,833 --> 00:43:20,168
Now you're holding. Welcome home.
647
00:43:35,591 --> 00:43:37,532
Now I'm not holding.
648
00:43:45,056 --> 00:43:48,461
God, if you knew how
much I wanted those pills.
649
00:43:49,693 --> 00:43:53,059
I'm still shaking but, but I can't blow it now.
650
00:43:53,340 --> 00:43:54,743
Not a second time.
651
00:43:56,217 --> 00:43:57,118
Hey, beth?
652
00:43:57,218 --> 00:43:59,551
- Uh?
- I can't wait for your party on Saturday night.
653
00:44:00,635 --> 00:44:02,850
- Did you get me a college guy, too?
- Oh, sure.
654
00:44:03,182 --> 00:44:05,108
- I'll see you later, bye!
- Bye!
655
00:44:06,960 --> 00:44:08,160
Hi!
656
00:44:10,099 --> 00:44:12,393
Hey, uh, congratulations.
657
00:44:13,311 --> 00:44:15,043
Is... is Bud around?
658
00:44:15,143 --> 00:44:17,833
Well, he won't be here 'till
to the party. Uhm.
659
00:44:18,566 --> 00:44:20,101
Hey, that's OK.
660
00:44:20,666 --> 00:44:21,801
I'm sorry.
661
00:44:22,264 --> 00:44:25,870
- Look, fair is fair I didn't invite you to my party.
- That's not why.
662
00:44:26,534 --> 00:44:30,347
It's just that everybody in the school
knows who's on and who's off now.
663
00:44:31,447 --> 00:44:32,556
Yeah...
664
00:44:33,908 --> 00:44:35,912
It's like two different worlds.
665
00:44:36,236 --> 00:44:38,299
I mean, once you get a reputation...
666
00:44:39,863 --> 00:44:44,022
I mean, it's just that, straight
kids are so outnumbered, Alice.
667
00:44:44,650 --> 00:44:46,518
And they just get suspicious.
668
00:44:46,698 --> 00:44:48,049
Yeah, and, uh....
669
00:44:48,558 --> 00:44:52,859
Users are so paranoid they can't stand
having any straight ones around.
670
00:44:54,771 --> 00:44:56,460
Makes feel a lot of fun.
671
00:44:59,698 --> 00:45:03,205
Look, I really wish I could
invite you, I just can't, I'm sorry.
672
00:45:04,161 --> 00:45:06,918
Yeah, yeah I understand.
673
00:45:10,456 --> 00:45:12,926
Well diary, you're still
are the only friend I have.
674
00:45:13,069 --> 00:45:15,754
It's awfully cold out
here in no man's land.
675
00:45:16,463 --> 00:45:17,997
Even Chris is lucky.
676
00:45:18,328 --> 00:45:21,594
Her parent has moved away after she
got home and let her start all over again.
677
00:45:21,870 --> 00:45:24,863
Well, Jan? What army are
you feeding this weekend?
678
00:45:24,963 --> 00:45:26,424
Uh, a whole crowd.
679
00:45:26,524 --> 00:45:29,577
Including Alice if she does
break down and socialize a little.
680
00:45:30,093 --> 00:45:33,678
Well, she uh, she gets a lot
studying on the new sitter's job.
681
00:45:33,848 --> 00:45:36,624
But maybe she's being too conscientious,
we'll try to persuade her.
682
00:45:36,726 --> 00:45:38,349
All work and no play...
683
00:45:38,613 --> 00:45:40,102
Why don't you give up Alice?
684
00:45:40,205 --> 00:45:41,858
Get off for your high horse.
685
00:45:42,125 --> 00:45:44,451
Or your uh... horse high?
686
00:45:47,673 --> 00:45:50,673
Well, bye, it was really nice
seeing you again, goodbye.
687
00:45:50,870 --> 00:45:52,686
I'm gonna lose my mind.
688
00:45:53,077 --> 00:45:56,137
Mom and dad tell me it to
be a good judge of character.
689
00:45:56,603 --> 00:45:59,727
Sometimes I wonder how do they
made it to the age that they are.
690
00:46:00,726 --> 00:46:05,085
It... it's like I've been part of some
giant spy ring that won't let go of me.
691
00:46:06,041 --> 00:46:09,144
Don't they realize that the more
they put me on the spot,
692
00:46:09,244 --> 00:46:12,946
the harder it is for me not to talk
to my parents or... or someone.
693
00:46:15,684 --> 00:46:16,977
Alice?
694
00:46:17,325 --> 00:46:18,850
How are you, Alice?
695
00:46:19,354 --> 00:46:22,785
- Ohhh, what're you doing, babysitting?
- Oh, hey Jen, you're all wet.
696
00:46:22,885 --> 00:46:25,589
So... Mrs. Carson called me when you
didn't show up and asked me to...
697
00:46:25,689 --> 00:46:27,836
come over and, uh, I just put
the baby down so keep it down.
698
00:46:27,939 --> 00:46:30,024
What? I'm gonna get 'er up, that's my job.
699
00:46:30,124 --> 00:46:32,471
It's not your job anymore
so stay away from the baby.
700
00:46:32,571 --> 00:46:35,273
Oh, look it! She's laughing
when I'm bouncing around,
701
00:46:35,400 --> 00:46:37,333
she doesn't want to sleep!
702
00:46:38,800 --> 00:46:42,602
- How 'bout a... a little music?
- Jan, come here!
703
00:46:43,517 --> 00:46:45,277
- Baby!
- Oh, shut up!
704
00:46:45,377 --> 00:46:47,008
Do you want me to call your family?
705
00:46:47,108 --> 00:46:49,442
- If you try that, you-
- Get out!
706
00:46:49,542 --> 00:46:51,212
No, you get out! Look, I'm taking over...
707
00:46:51,312 --> 00:46:53,813
this is my territory, my territory!
708
00:46:53,950 --> 00:46:55,580
This is my book,
709
00:46:55,680 --> 00:46:57,292
this is my piano,
710
00:46:58,208 --> 00:47:01,418
my stereo, my pillow!
711
00:47:01,619 --> 00:47:04,288
Will you please come get Jan?
She's crazy, she's...
712
00:47:04,388 --> 00:47:05,804
What you're doing?
713
00:47:06,803 --> 00:47:08,542
N-no!
714
00:47:09,373 --> 00:47:10,918
Get out, please!
715
00:47:21,063 --> 00:47:23,168
I think you handled it absolutely right.
716
00:47:23,461 --> 00:47:25,224
Exactly. What else could you have done?
717
00:47:25,324 --> 00:47:26,774
- Would you like some more coffee?
- No, thanks.
718
00:47:26,874 --> 00:47:28,855
A lot of work from Jan Meeker point of view.
719
00:47:28,955 --> 00:47:31,193
Could have gone over her
mother's head to the authorities.
720
00:47:31,384 --> 00:47:33,057
And we still can if she stirs anything up.
721
00:47:33,157 --> 00:47:34,851
You promised me that if
I told you you wouldn't...
722
00:47:34,951 --> 00:47:37,604
The promise still stands, but
let's try and be realistic about this.
723
00:47:37,704 --> 00:47:40,400
I can't get you an overnight
transfer just because...
724
00:47:40,566 --> 00:47:42,730
a couple of anti-social kids
want to drive you out of school.
725
00:47:42,830 --> 00:47:46,584
I think that it makes more
sense to stand up to Jan Meeker.
726
00:47:46,748 --> 00:47:49,241
Whatever mistakes your
friends think you made,
727
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:51,890
I can't believe that they'll
side with her on this one.
728
00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:56,253
Any sane person would understand that...
you were responsible for that baby.
729
00:47:56,353 --> 00:47:59,003
Kids like that don't understand anything.
730
00:47:59,816 --> 00:48:01,909
I'm damn glad my kids aren't like that.
731
00:48:02,152 --> 00:48:05,205
Are you kidding, daddy? I was worse.
732
00:48:05,487 --> 00:48:07,984
I mean, don't you know
what it was all about?
733
00:48:10,329 --> 00:48:11,503
I don't wanna know.
734
00:48:12,317 --> 00:48:15,002
What dad means is that
it's, uhm, that it's forgotten.
735
00:48:15,102 --> 00:48:17,013
Yeah, I know what dad means.
736
00:48:18,092 --> 00:48:21,640
The point is that you're a different
person now, you're strong, an adult,
737
00:48:21,876 --> 00:48:23,032
and we're with you.
738
00:48:23,590 --> 00:48:26,969
And when that crowd finally realizes
that you really mean business,
739
00:48:28,050 --> 00:48:29,562
you'll get their respect, too.
740
00:48:32,805 --> 00:48:34,945
Uhm, thanks for walking me to school.
741
00:48:35,721 --> 00:48:38,937
Listen, I could walk you home if you want.
742
00:48:40,433 --> 00:48:51,615
Anytime.
743
00:48:41,780 --> 00:48:42,888
Hey, thanks!
744
00:48:55,068 --> 00:48:58,031
Hey watch out there you don't want
to push the fink down the stairs.
745
00:48:58,031 --> 00:49:01,867
What would you do if they put a
roach down your father's car, fink?
746
00:49:15,568 --> 00:49:18,443
Fink.
747
00:49:26,613 --> 00:49:28,302
Hey, Alice,
748
00:49:28,402 --> 00:49:30,101
what's the matter? Can't you take it?
749
00:49:30,488 --> 00:49:34,091
Hey Listen, uh, like a little
something to calm your nerves?
750
00:49:34,218 --> 00:49:36,394
It will make you feel really fine.
751
00:49:36,739 --> 00:49:40,300
Oh you know your little brother?
Your little baby brother?
752
00:49:40,435 --> 00:49:42,220
I think uh, before you quit
school you better tell...
753
00:49:42,320 --> 00:49:44,834
your baby brother not to take
candy from people he doesn't know.
754
00:49:44,934 --> 00:49:48,326
You go near him, or you even try it,
I'll kill you! I mean it Jan, I'll kill you.
755
00:50:07,368 --> 00:50:09,489
Hey, have you seen my dad?
756
00:50:09,985 --> 00:50:13,094
Uhm, no, As a matter of fact I was
just looking around for him myself.
757
00:50:13,881 --> 00:50:15,754
I think he may have gone home for the day.
758
00:50:15,854 --> 00:50:18,805
If I bump into him is there a message
you'd like to leave, or something?
759
00:50:18,905 --> 00:50:20,028
No, uhm...
760
00:50:20,277 --> 00:50:22,124
I won't bother with it.
761
00:50:26,676 --> 00:50:28,045
Wait a second!
762
00:50:31,466 --> 00:50:35,671
It's funny how I've divided the whole world
into freaks and straights for so long.
763
00:50:36,249 --> 00:50:38,919
I forgot there were other
kinds of people around.
764
00:50:39,851 --> 00:50:41,623
I went through a similar thing,
765
00:50:41,849 --> 00:50:43,314
couple of years ago.
766
00:50:44,044 --> 00:50:47,733
With my parents, you know, but it was...
but I didn't... didn't feel like I had to...
767
00:50:48,263 --> 00:50:50,772
to relate them everything
about it, you know, I mean,
768
00:50:50,872 --> 00:50:53,629
is there other ways you
can talk to your parents.
769
00:50:53,729 --> 00:50:56,735
What are the things you can talk to them about,
they don't have to know everything about you.
770
00:50:56,987 --> 00:50:58,890
Did you have somebody to talk to?
771
00:50:58,990 --> 00:51:00,245
You know, my friends.
772
00:51:01,568 --> 00:51:03,953
I... I guess that's the trouble, I mean, I...
773
00:51:04,001 --> 00:51:07,900
I... I can't talk to the kids
who use dope, because....
774
00:51:08,234 --> 00:51:10,454
they're afraid of me, that I'll turn
them in and I know too much,
775
00:51:10,554 --> 00:51:13,315
I can't... talk to the kids... who
never used dope because...
776
00:51:13,913 --> 00:51:16,538
they're scared of me
because I've used dope, and...
777
00:51:17,173 --> 00:51:21,565
the whole point is that I'm scared, I came
to daddy's office this morning, because...
778
00:51:22,007 --> 00:51:24,899
because what happened today in
school is gonna keep on happening and...
779
00:51:24,999 --> 00:51:26,970
and it won't stop.
They'll do something to Tim.
780
00:51:27,186 --> 00:51:30,277
They'll put dope in daddy's
car, they'll... they'll...
781
00:51:31,072 --> 00:51:33,511
they're angry, they're angry at
me because I turned them in.
782
00:51:33,611 --> 00:51:35,554
I mean, I'm... I'm worse
than their parents now.
783
00:51:35,715 --> 00:51:37,691
I stand for everything that they...
784
00:51:37,791 --> 00:51:39,821
that they hate, that, the
reason they take dope,
785
00:51:39,921 --> 00:51:41,972
they're copping out from what's real...
786
00:51:42,072 --> 00:51:43,528
And what you wanna do?
787
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:52,236
I guess I just need
someone else to talk to.
788
00:51:54,422 --> 00:51:56,460
I'll play that way.
789
00:52:03,063 --> 00:52:04,073
Hey, thanks.
790
00:52:04,371 --> 00:52:06,055
So, uhm you'll be
working over the weekend?
791
00:52:06,155 --> 00:52:08,494
Uhm, yeah, I'm baby sitting for
the Larsens all weekend.
792
00:52:08,676 --> 00:52:10,971
- A little extra cash always comes in handy.
- Yeah...
793
00:52:11,061 --> 00:52:14,444
I normally work until Saturday.
Uhm, nine o'clock.
794
00:52:14,917 --> 00:52:15,857
Uhm,
795
00:52:16,339 --> 00:52:18,735
listen, you think it'd be OK if I step by?
796
00:52:18,836 --> 00:52:20,291
- Saturday?
- Yeah.
797
00:52:21,186 --> 00:52:22,523
What for?
798
00:52:23,496 --> 00:52:26,250
You know, watch TV, uhm, talk...
799
00:52:27,843 --> 00:52:30,725
Alice, what I'm trying to
do is ask you for a date.
800
00:52:34,333 --> 00:52:35,172
Oh.
801
00:52:38,297 --> 00:52:42,081
I guess what's- what's strange
about John is that he really does,
802
00:52:42,181 --> 00:52:46,772
the things Ritchie pretended to do. He
works hard, he likes it, supports himself,
803
00:52:47,273 --> 00:52:48,842
cares about people.
804
00:53:55,467 --> 00:54:00,138
♪ Something to make us all happy.
805
00:54:01,510 --> 00:54:06,586
{\an8}♪ Do anything to take us out of this gloom.
806
00:54:05,231 --> 00:54:06,492
No!
807
00:54:06,686 --> 00:54:11,916
{\an8}♪ Sing a song, play guitar, make it snappy.
808
00:54:14,581 --> 00:54:16,559
- WHISPERING -
809
00:54:16,759 --> 00:54:20,507
Doctor Benjamin to
Orthopedics, Doctor Benjamin.
810
00:54:23,139 --> 00:54:26,741
But we need more than some
kind of recognition to establish...
811
00:54:26,915 --> 00:54:28,919
how much memory is available.
812
00:54:29,114 --> 00:54:32,209
We profess that medical
recommendations in these case,
813
00:54:32,309 --> 00:54:34,941
depend on the patient's verbal response.
814
00:54:35,971 --> 00:54:39,698
The more direct and significant
your contact with her,
815
00:54:40,261 --> 00:54:42,127
the better for all of us.
816
00:54:57,248 --> 00:54:58,328
Well,
817
00:55:00,824 --> 00:55:02,221
just us today.
818
00:55:03,478 --> 00:55:05,483
That means you're better, honey.
819
00:55:05,820 --> 00:55:08,170
You're well enough to
tell us how you are.
820
00:55:09,457 --> 00:55:12,853
If... you wanna just nod until you're ready,
821
00:55:13,663 --> 00:55:15,354
it's OK for opening.
822
00:55:16,437 --> 00:55:19,629
Y...you know, like, we've
been trying with the doctor.
823
00:55:23,177 --> 00:55:25,055
G- Give us a nod.
824
00:55:25,937 --> 00:55:27,039
Come on.
825
00:55:28,451 --> 00:55:30,235
You can see us and hear us.
826
00:55:31,132 --> 00:55:33,192
Sh-Show us you know who we are.
827
00:55:36,376 --> 00:55:38,138
And that we love you.
828
00:55:39,132 --> 00:55:40,949
Do you know that we love you, darling?
829
00:55:41,049 --> 00:55:43,930
How can she answer that?
It's not the right kind of question.
830
00:55:46,657 --> 00:55:48,416
Yes it was.
831
00:55:52,538 --> 00:55:53,893
Alice...
832
00:55:52,900 --> 00:55:56,229
{\an8}Doctor Siegel, to radiology. Doctor Siegel.
833
00:55:55,209 --> 00:55:57,195
Can you remember things now?
834
00:55:57,438 --> 00:55:59,635
Try to remember what happened that night.
835
00:56:00,011 --> 00:56:04,592
There's a... There's a special reason
we need to have you answer now,
836
00:56:05,201 --> 00:56:10,400
it's... uh... legal really,
as well as medical. You.
837
00:56:10,803 --> 00:56:12,928
Dad will explain it to you.
838
00:56:16,224 --> 00:56:17,523
It's... uhm...
839
00:56:21,269 --> 00:56:23,277
more or less a formality, there's...
840
00:56:23,752 --> 00:56:27,455
gonna be an... hearing... of sorts, and,
841
00:56:27,794 --> 00:56:30,461
the... the only complication is that...
842
00:56:32,730 --> 00:56:34,004
your...
843
00:56:34,045 --> 00:56:36,910
Well, two of the girls in school, they, uh,
844
00:56:38,344 --> 00:56:40,340
well, they... they said that you've been...
845
00:56:41,053 --> 00:56:44,000
selling... this LSD that you took....
846
00:56:44,619 --> 00:56:46,570
to all of them all along.
847
00:56:47,758 --> 00:56:48,896
We don't believe it.
848
00:56:49,132 --> 00:56:52,990
Alice, we're going to swear to our belief in you
against every last one of them, we're going to...
849
00:56:53,144 --> 00:56:57,060
we're going to swear to the change in you
since you've been home and your work...
850
00:56:57,160 --> 00:56:59,251
and your attitude and everything.
851
00:56:59,654 --> 00:57:03,715
And... and how that... that
whole school crowd upset you...
852
00:57:04,057 --> 00:57:06,360
and they ke... they kept after you.
853
00:57:07,954 --> 00:57:10,815
If we had a... clue...
854
00:57:11,812 --> 00:57:15,262
as to where you got the
stuff you took at the Larsen's...
855
00:57:15,362 --> 00:57:17,706
No... no...
856
00:57:18,218 --> 00:57:21,898
She... she's trying to tell us, she wants to.
857
00:57:21,998 --> 00:57:27,891
I... I... I can't... No, uh, I can't.
858
00:57:33,281 --> 00:57:35,165
They're crawling again, They're...
859
00:57:35,420 --> 00:57:37,571
they're going to eat me, they're crawling.
860
00:57:37,721 --> 00:57:39,221
- They're crawling.
- Take the doctor.
861
00:57:39,321 --> 00:57:41,047
they're going to eat me, they're crawling.
862
00:57:41,147 --> 00:57:43,657
No, honey, it'alright, it's alright...
-No...
863
00:57:42,367 --> 00:57:44,065
{\an8}Doctor, Doctor, please.
864
00:57:43,757 --> 00:57:47,453
- No, please, please, they're crawling.
- No, it's alright,
865
00:57:48,180 --> 00:57:49,221
I'm sorry.
866
00:57:50,260 --> 00:57:51,936
We're better now for today.
867
00:57:52,136 --> 00:57:53,927
Please, stop, please.
868
00:57:54,300 --> 00:57:58,174
Please, they're crawling again,
please, stop it, please.
869
00:58:06,366 --> 00:58:07,760
Good morning, Alice.
870
00:58:09,266 --> 00:58:13,341
One of your friends told your family you
might like to take that to the clinic with you.
871
00:58:13,645 --> 00:58:15,135
Locked out.
872
00:58:15,588 --> 00:58:18,116
Only for your own viewing. Just for you.
873
00:58:23,219 --> 00:58:26,106
If it's true that you still keep the diary.
874
00:58:27,972 --> 00:58:29,406
What friend?
875
00:58:29,982 --> 00:58:32,728
Oh, I'm not sure, let me see
if I have a note here.
876
00:58:33,489 --> 00:58:35,420
Any Idea of who'd might be?
877
00:58:35,814 --> 00:58:37,650
A boy, a girl...
878
00:58:38,205 --> 00:58:39,558
someone older?
879
00:58:41,601 --> 00:58:43,254
Someone at school?
880
00:58:45,430 --> 00:58:47,004
No friends there.
881
00:58:52,718 --> 00:58:54,605
Miss Beth Baum.
882
00:58:58,991 --> 00:59:00,912
I didn't do it,
883
00:59:01,825 --> 00:59:03,369
it was in the drink.
884
00:59:03,967 --> 00:59:05,817
Please tell the kids,
885
00:59:06,061 --> 00:59:09,204
I didn't do it, please tell them that, please.
886
00:59:09,345 --> 00:59:14,690
Alice, look at me, and try to make
me understand so I can tell Beth.
887
00:59:15,420 --> 00:59:20,225
I... uh, just went to the refrigerator,
and I... I opened the door and I...
888
00:59:20,460 --> 00:59:21,636
there was a bottle...
889
00:59:22,001 --> 00:59:25,144
of drink there and I... I took it out and
it was... it was half-empty and I...
890
00:59:25,244 --> 00:59:27,579
took the drink and I...
and I took the formula...
891
00:59:27,716 --> 00:59:30,250
And I... and I went into the
living room and I sat down and...
892
00:59:30,356 --> 00:59:32,838
and then I started to give the formula to the...
893
00:59:33,332 --> 00:59:37,211
- Oh, the baby!
- The baby is alright.
894
00:59:37,977 --> 00:59:40,499
Nothing happened to the baby.
895
00:59:41,311 --> 00:59:43,754
She was asleep in the crib.
896
00:59:44,267 --> 00:59:48,392
You left the baby in the crib
and locked yourself into the closet.
897
00:59:48,731 --> 00:59:51,877
- Whatever for?
- To stay away from her!
898
00:59:52,906 --> 00:59:55,307
You did not harm the baby.
899
00:59:55,574 --> 00:59:47,366
You harmed yourself.
900
01:00:16,875 --> 01:00:18,318
It's a bum trip...
901
01:00:18,747 --> 01:00:20,455
Bum trip and a half.
902
01:00:20,602 --> 01:00:23,123
I thought that I was... buried...
903
01:00:24,481 --> 01:00:26,458
w- without a coffin,
904
01:00:28,197 --> 01:00:29,818
and I... and I tried to...
905
01:00:30,381 --> 01:00:32,656
- s- scratch my way out, uhm...
- Yes.
906
01:00:32,785 --> 01:00:34,774
To kick and claw...
907
01:00:34,231 --> 01:00:37,898
{\an8}Doctor Siegel, Doctor Siegel
please report to surgery.
908
01:00:40,072 --> 01:00:43,141
Guess I even tried to use
my head against the door.
909
01:00:43,967 --> 01:00:45,914
Yes, your skull was fractured.
910
01:00:46,032 --> 01:00:47,894
Yes, some door, uh?
911
01:00:48,393 --> 01:00:50,085
But only a door.
912
01:00:52,484 --> 01:00:54,360
No coffin?
913
01:00:58,514 --> 01:01:00,510
Am I leaving alive?
914
01:01:01,487 --> 01:01:03,923
No one died, Alice.
915
01:01:05,543 --> 01:01:07,187
After all...
916
01:01:013,648 --> 01:01:16,153
I guess I'm really back.
917
01:01:25,666 --> 01:01:29,789
Well, live and learn diary, this use center
is probably the first sensible thing...
918
01:01:29,889 --> 01:01:32,167
that's happened to me
since I started drugs.
919
01:01:32,267 --> 01:01:34,681
Like, uh, I come from a small town...
920
01:01:34,915 --> 01:01:38,577
and, uhm, I hadn't heard
about drugs at all, you know,
921
01:01:38,677 --> 01:01:41,394
and, you know, alright I hadn't
been around it that much,
922
01:01:41,784 --> 01:01:44,607
and then you know my parents
started with this, you know...
923
01:01:44,760 --> 01:01:47,676
everytime I had come home, they'ld
started checking me out, you know,
924
01:01:47,776 --> 01:01:50,379
check'in my eyes and
everything. And, uh,
925
01:01:51,420 --> 01:01:53,789
They were the first ones
that ever, you know, really...
926
01:01:53,859 --> 01:01:59,185
I.. I, you know, I knew about drugs, but, they
really made me aware of drugs, you know,
927
01:01:59,285 --> 01:02:01,424
like the pills, the grass...
928
01:02:01,803 --> 01:02:04,067
Seems crazy now that I'm straight,
929
01:02:05,879 --> 01:02:08,007
and that's how it all started.
930
01:02:09,028 --> 01:02:11,187
You know, like...
931
01:02:11,460 --> 01:02:15,114
A couple of my buddies,
we heard about glue and...
932
01:02:15,779 --> 01:02:18,113
and bam we all got blasted.
933
01:02:18,213 --> 01:02:20,040
Like it was so green,
934
01:02:20,890 --> 01:02:23,842
like I thought the first one
left with some kind of high.
935
01:02:24,030 --> 01:02:26,988
- I really dug it.
- Still do.
936
01:02:28,031 --> 01:02:30,056
Dig sniffing glue?
937
01:02:30,544 --> 01:02:35,270
- No, that first lift.
- He just told you. He digs being straight.
938
01:02:35,415 --> 01:02:37,272
I know what he just told me,
939
01:02:37,770 --> 01:02:39,711
but he's getting high just
talking about getting high,
940
01:02:39,811 --> 01:02:42,758
you're getting high off his high
and I'm getting high off your high...
941
01:02:42,858 --> 01:02:45,307
and it's one big contact high.
942
01:02:46,483 --> 01:02:48,547
We think we're having
this great rap session and...
943
01:02:48,647 --> 01:02:52,569
and really we're no better
than anyone who sniffs, cor.
944
01:02:53,221 --> 01:02:55,493
It just doesn't go anywhere.
945
01:03:00,405 --> 01:03:02,086
Hey, look Alice,
946
01:03:02,519 --> 01:03:04,041
don't get mad.
947
01:03:04,754 --> 01:03:05,750
look,
948
01:03:06,417 --> 01:03:09,742
I can get us a mixed bag. you
know, just for the two of us.
949
01:03:16,026 --> 01:03:17,074
No,
950
01:03:17,799 --> 01:03:19,718
I really don't want to.
951
01:03:19,818 --> 01:03:24,330
For the first time in- in my
dumb life, I... I think I meant that.
952
01:03:25,189 --> 01:03:29,193
I know I'll always be one pill
away from being an addict again.
953
01:03:29,293 --> 01:03:33,089
But, if I can just keep
turning down that same pill,
954
01:03:33,736 --> 01:03:35,283
I'll be OK.
955
01:03:43,863 --> 01:03:45,048
Goodbye.
956
01:03:45,326 --> 01:03:48,934
Most hopeless of places where
I finally learned to hope...
957
01:03:49,234 --> 01:03:51,695
Learn to... take apart nightmares,
958
01:03:52,335 --> 01:03:54,345
and put together a life.
959
01:03:55,735 --> 01:03:58,836
Even learn to forget about
people who forget about me,
960
01:03:59,448 --> 01:04:00,861
like Joel.
961
01:04:01,007 --> 01:04:02,930
But it doesn't matter.
962
01:04:03,030 --> 01:04:05,767
Nothing matters now except, going home.
963
01:04:35,418 --> 01:04:37,089
- Not bad if I say so myself.
964
01:04:37,205 --> 01:04:38,592
- Oh! Pretty!
- Where are the candles?
965
01:04:38,792 --> 01:04:42,233
Ah, ah! No candles, I said there could be
a party without candles, without cake,
966
01:04:42,333 --> 01:04:44,923
and no... and no singing.
And I cook all the food.
967
01:04:45,023 --> 01:04:48,704
Hmm. That's not bad, as long as you
don't do your cooking the way Beth does.
968
01:04:49,144 --> 01:04:52,343
listening to, uh, foreign language
records simultaneously.
969
01:04:52,443 --> 01:04:56,172
One of these days she is gonna make,
uhm, lasagna topped with chocolate moose.
970
01:04:56,272 --> 01:04:58,156
Ah, you'll be the first one to try it, Bud.
971
01:04:58,556 --> 01:05:01,906
At the center the food was so bad
we had to have contests to jazz it up,
972
01:05:01,916 --> 01:05:04,939
you know, like, uh, peanut butter
and whipped cream, on salami.
973
01:05:05,186 --> 01:05:08,460
- Did you ever try, uh, turnips and yogurt?
- Your cute!
974
01:05:08,586 --> 01:05:11,265
- Come on Beth.
- Save some for the party, uh.
975
01:05:20,431 --> 01:05:24,393
Uhm, what are your plans about
School and everything now?
976
01:05:25,216 --> 01:05:28,817
Oh I don't know, I guess the
same as my plans about life, just...
977
01:05:28,976 --> 01:05:30,665
take it as it comes.
978
01:05:31,777 --> 01:05:34,085
You know, how I was gonna
say, it's different now.
979
01:05:34,185 --> 01:05:35,585
Because of us.
980
01:05:36,667 --> 01:05:41,104
But, what it really boils down to,
is that you really did it yourself.
981
01:05:41,187 --> 01:05:42,895
I guess there's something about...
982
01:05:43,053 --> 01:05:46,387
living through the worst that can
happen, that- that once it's really over...
983
01:05:47,706 --> 01:05:49,367
oh, I hope it's over...
984
01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:52,820
I don't think I could live through that again.
985
01:05:54,629 --> 01:05:59,361
Once is enough for anybody,
but you really did it Alice.
986
01:06:00,468 --> 01:06:03,561
Yeah, with the help of my friends, uh.
987
01:06:04,184 --> 01:06:05,350
Alice?
988
01:06:05,443 --> 01:06:07,432
There's somebody here to see you.
989
01:06:19,591 --> 01:06:21,170
Happy birthday.
990
01:06:37,278 --> 01:06:39,852
- It was really good.
- Thanks.
991
01:06:47,531 --> 01:06:49,128
You know, I, uh...
992
01:06:51,076 --> 01:06:54,541
I really feel crummy about the last couple
of months, not writing you or anything.
993
01:06:54,641 --> 01:06:57,103
I didn't have any right to
expect that you would.
994
01:06:57,488 --> 01:06:58,760
It's just that...
995
01:07:01,000 --> 01:07:03,084
well, when it comes right down to it, I.
996
01:07:04,666 --> 01:07:06,556
I guess I was afraid.
997
01:07:08,398 --> 01:07:09,426
I mean,
998
01:07:10,112 --> 01:07:13,137
I knew you had a lot of
things going on inside you, and,
999
01:07:13,342 --> 01:07:16,599
a lot of problems, you know, and
so do I, uh, I guess everybody does.
1000
01:07:16,777 --> 01:07:17,941
It's just that...
1001
01:07:19,872 --> 01:07:21,956
I.. I just didn't know if I...
1002
01:07:23,216 --> 01:07:26,653
was willing to take on the
responsibility for somebody else.
1003
01:07:27,293 --> 01:07:28,401
I... I know.
1004
01:07:31,417 --> 01:07:32,914
Anyway,
1005
01:07:33,304 --> 01:07:37,292
what I wanna say is... is that I,
I don't feel that way anymore.
1006
01:07:37,430 --> 01:07:39,296
And I... I don't blame
you if you're sore at me.
1007
01:07:39,796 --> 01:07:40,799
I'm...
1008
01:07:41,059 --> 01:07:42,170
I mean it,
1009
01:07:43,541 --> 01:07:47,630
it's no way to start a relationship,
if you really care about somebody.
1010
01:07:48,485 --> 01:07:50,271
And I do care about you.
1011
01:07:52,247 --> 01:07:54,675
I... I guess the problem is, is that I...
1012
01:07:56,656 --> 01:07:58,415
I don't know how to
start a relationship, I, uh...
1013
01:07:58,586 --> 01:08:01,516
I don't talk very well
except to my diary and...
1014
01:08:02,310 --> 01:08:05,594
I've done a lot of things with
a lot of men but I was always...
1015
01:08:06,416 --> 01:08:08,201
really stoned...
1016
01:08:10,430 --> 01:08:12,143
I guess I don't know,
1017
01:08:13,805 --> 01:08:17,986
if I can have a relationship with
someone and be just... me.
1018
01:08:22,086 --> 01:08:24,722
Well, there's only one way to find out.
1019
01:08:35,152 --> 01:08:37,251
I guess Joel is about the
best birthday present...
1020
01:08:37,351 --> 01:08:40,414
any seventeen year old girl
named Alice could ask for.
1021
01:08:42,032 --> 01:08:43,794
But as nice as he is,
1022
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:48,067
I hope I don't learn on him the
way I... did with drugs.*
1023
01:08:48,741 --> 01:08:53,000
It scares me when I... when I still
find myself thinking about a high.
1024
01:08:54,190 --> 01:08:56,753
It's a fear I've got to live with.
1025
01:08:57,872 --> 01:09:00,784
Oh, well, tomorrow is a new day,
1026
01:09:00,931 --> 01:09:03,376
and finally back to school.
1027
01:09:03,536 --> 01:09:05,875
I think I've come to... a decision.
1028
01:09:06,053 --> 01:09:08,927
Yeah? You look like you've
come to some sort of decision.
1029
01:09:09,027 --> 01:09:11,026
- It's about my diary.
- Yeah?
1030
01:09:11,233 --> 01:09:15,768
Uh, I just finished the second one and,
I really don't have time for it anymore and...
1031
01:09:16,167 --> 01:09:18,729
and besides I don't...
I don't think I need it.
1032
01:09:20,078 --> 01:09:21,571
Could be.
1033
01:09:58,889 --> 01:10:03,487
In the fall of her last year in high school
our daughter died of an overdose of drugs.
1034
01:10:03,984 --> 01:10:06,218
We were never able to find
out what the drugs were...
1035
01:10:06,318 --> 01:10:08,738
or whether or not they
were self-administered.
1036
01:10:09,219 --> 01:10:11,856
Since she had stopped keeping
a diary several months before...
1037
01:10:11,956 --> 01:10:14,844
we had no clues as to why she died.
1038
01:10:15,198 --> 01:10:16,658
We have discovered since then...
1039
01:10:16,758 --> 01:10:20,548
that she was one of almost five
thousand drug deaths that year.
1040
01:10:20,899 --> 01:10:24,223
And so we... decided to
make her diary public, because...
1041
01:10:24,541 --> 01:10:26,670
we feel she would have wanted us to.
1042
01:10:20,350 --> 01:10:24,647
{\an8}♪ And your mind is moving low...
1043
01:10:24,747 --> 01:10:28,658
{\an8}♪ Go ask Alice...
1044
01:10:28,758 --> 01:10:33,449
{\an8}♪ I think she'll know...
1045
01:10:33,549 --> 01:10:37,852
{\an8}♪ when the logic and proportion...
1046
01:10:37,952 --> 01:10:42,140
{\an8}♪ have fallen sloppy dead...
1047
01:10:42,638 --> 01:10:50,335
{\an8}♪ remember, what the dormouse said...
1048
01:10:50,535 --> 01:10:59,002
{\an8}♪ "Feed your head!", "Feed your head!"...
84518
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
