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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,074 --> 00:00:10,567 [TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING] 2 00:00:11,211 --> 00:00:14,147 WAVERLY [OVER RADIO]: I'm glad to hear the train is on time... 3 00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:16,476 ...because time is of the essence, gentlemen. 4 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,050 Yes, sir. 5 00:00:36,003 --> 00:00:39,405 [CHATTERING] 6 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:58,121 If you don't eat something, you are going to die. 7 00:01:00,827 --> 00:01:03,422 Take some fruit juice. 8 00:01:04,031 --> 00:01:06,125 I'm your doctor and I order you to-- 9 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,737 [WEAKLY] I am your president. 10 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:13,332 I order you to leave me alone. 11 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:18,844 Seventeen days is too long a fast for a man of your age. 12 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,485 I don't like it. 13 00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:29,782 Nahdi exposed like that, he's a perfect target for an assassin. 14 00:01:29,957 --> 00:01:35,021 Mr. President, one more day and I won't be responsible. 15 00:01:35,195 --> 00:01:38,495 I'll take no food... 16 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:45,163 ...until the world powers agree to a disarmament conference. 17 00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:46,500 And if they don't? 18 00:01:48,008 --> 00:01:49,909 Then I'll die. 19 00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:55,310 - Anything? - Not so far. 20 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,044 [MEWING] 21 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,660 ILLYA: I'm sure his security people don't like it either. 22 00:02:08,829 --> 00:02:11,731 But he has to get his message across. 23 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:19,331 You can eat now. They've accepted your terms. 24 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:26,805 The cessation of testing? And the moratorium? 25 00:02:26,980 --> 00:02:29,916 Everything, to the last codicil. 26 00:02:30,517 --> 00:02:32,452 Help me up. 27 00:02:36,189 --> 00:02:38,715 [CHEERING] 28 00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:54,103 You know, this crowd seems to love him. 29 00:02:54,274 --> 00:02:58,109 I think I've found someone who doesn't. Look over there. 30 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:08,382 My people, we prayed... 31 00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:11,082 ...and they answered. 32 00:03:11,258 --> 00:03:13,193 [CROWD CHEERS] 33 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:17,286 [GRUNTING] 34 00:03:17,464 --> 00:03:19,456 [GUN CLICKS] 35 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,628 [GUN COCKS] 36 00:03:56,536 --> 00:04:02,533 The great powers have agreed to sit down... 37 00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:07,179 ...and to reason together. 38 00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:09,872 [KITTEN MEWING] 39 00:04:17,224 --> 00:04:18,214 [GUNSHOT] 40 00:04:18,391 --> 00:04:19,882 [CROWD SCREAMING] 41 00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:44,207 [ILLYA GRUNTS] 42 00:04:46,052 --> 00:04:48,044 SOLO: Hmm. 43 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:38,866 [SNEEZE THEN GUNSHOT] 44 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,565 [CROWD SCREAMING] 45 00:05:46,913 --> 00:05:49,405 Saved by a sneeze. 46 00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:53,985 Well, we can hardly expect such good fortune the next time. 47 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:57,488 - Do you think there will be a next time? - There's no doubt whatever in my mind. 48 00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:00,422 Thrush would never have missed. The whole thing smacks of amateurs. 49 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:04,656 Amateurs, Mr. Kuryakin, are sometimes harder to deal with than professionals. 50 00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:05,821 Less predictable. 51 00:06:05,999 --> 00:06:09,026 Well, I suppose you want us to go to the Geneva conference. 52 00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:10,499 Yes, I, uh, ahem-- 53 00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:15,404 I've booked passage for you both on the 8 a.m. flight. 54 00:06:15,575 --> 00:06:17,237 - Tourist? - Well, I, uh.... 55 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:20,005 I'm sorry to be so parsimonious, gentlemen... 56 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,672 ...but we're approaching the end of our fiscal year... 57 00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:26,752 ...and the, uh, auditors are closely scrutinizing the vouchers. 58 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,823 I'd appreciate it if you would hold expenses to the minimum. 59 00:06:30,991 --> 00:06:33,085 [CLEARS THROAT] 60 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:35,251 [WAVERLY CLEARS THROAT] 61 00:06:57,217 --> 00:07:00,585 KIRU: Gentlemen, please open your bags. 62 00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:05,055 Do you have anything to declare? Cigarettes, perfume? 63 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,750 Not a thing. 64 00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,018 Thank you. 65 00:07:12,098 --> 00:07:15,262 - Everything in order? - Perfectly, sir. 66 00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:17,501 Enjoy your stay. 67 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,367 Thank you. 68 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,940 They always have to mess up your shirts. 69 00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:28,104 How else would you know you crossed a new frontier? 70 00:07:28,281 --> 00:07:30,910 Oh, which reminds me, I better check on Nahdi's arrival. 71 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:36,085 I will be back in a moment. 72 00:07:36,256 --> 00:07:39,624 Ah, excuse me. What time does the president's plane arrive? 73 00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,785 Um, let's see. 74 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:47,590 - Not before 6:00 in the afternoon, sir. - We're staying at the, uh, William Tell. 75 00:07:47,767 --> 00:07:49,599 If there's any change, would you let us know? 76 00:07:49,769 --> 00:07:51,931 - Certainly. - Thank you. 77 00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:29,041 - Is it accomplished? - It is in the bag. 78 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,644 That's what you said the last time. 79 00:08:31,811 --> 00:08:33,871 I had him right in my sights, Mr. Thor. 80 00:08:34,047 --> 00:08:36,676 Yes, and I suppose a septuagenarian's reflexes... 81 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:39,149 ...are faster than a speeding bullet? 82 00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:43,347 We shall get him when he arrives in Geneva. I will shoot him dead in his tracks. 83 00:08:43,523 --> 00:08:46,288 You'll do nothing of the sort. 84 00:08:46,459 --> 00:08:51,397 I've, uh, invited him to be my guest for the duration of his visit. 85 00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:54,864 - And he accepted? - Naturally. 86 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:58,133 Then we can arrange for a little accident when he gets here. 87 00:08:58,304 --> 00:08:59,465 Not at all. 88 00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:02,973 I am now supporting the peace conference. 89 00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,703 But we have lost three men trying to prevent it. 90 00:09:05,879 --> 00:09:07,575 We'll do better than prevent it. 91 00:09:07,747 --> 00:09:10,216 We're going to send Nahdi into the conference... 92 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:15,481 ...and he will proceed to blow up all the heads of state in attendance. 93 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,783 Clever, don't you think? 94 00:09:17,957 --> 00:09:20,290 - Sheer genius, Mr. Thor. - Hmm. 95 00:09:20,460 --> 00:09:25,057 Now, uh, what type of device did you put in their bags at the Customs? 96 00:09:25,231 --> 00:09:28,463 Razor blades. They are ready to blow up any time you wish. 97 00:09:28,635 --> 00:09:33,471 I hope so, Kiru. For your sake, I hope so. 98 00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:44,882 I know you have a reservation, gentlemen, but, I mean, with this summit conference... 99 00:09:45,051 --> 00:09:47,350 ...there's hardly a room to be had in all Geneva. 100 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:51,082 This happens every time we have one of these dreadful peace conferences. 101 00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:54,318 Yes, the prospect of world peace is a pretty terrifying thought. 102 00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,963 Oh, it certainly is. 103 00:09:57,130 --> 00:10:00,828 Anyway, if you'll give me a moment, I'll see what I can do. 104 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,196 Excuse me, could you get me a cab? 105 00:10:03,369 --> 00:10:05,201 Uh, see the doorman, miss. Now, gentlemen, I-- 106 00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:08,102 I've already seen the doorman. He suggested I see you. 107 00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,971 He said you might call a taxi company or something. 108 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,170 I must get to the airport by 4:00. 109 00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,042 I am sorry, mademoiselle... 110 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:18,879 ...but I'm sure there's not an available taxicab in the whole city. 111 00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,612 Do you see what I mean? 112 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:25,816 Give me a few minutes and I'll come up with something for you. 113 00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:29,156 Why don't you have a drink in the bar? On the house. 114 00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:31,560 - But what about me? - Now, don't worry. You come with us. 115 00:10:31,731 --> 00:10:35,668 As soon as the gentleman finds us a room, we'll take you the airport ourselves. 116 00:10:35,835 --> 00:10:37,770 - But we haven't even been introduced. - Well-- 117 00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:40,065 - What is your name? - Nellie Canford. 118 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,868 Nellie Canford, meet Napoleon Solo. 119 00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:44,374 - Enchant�. This is Mr. Illya Kuryakin. - It's a pleasure. 120 00:10:44,544 --> 00:10:46,376 Now that the introductions are complete... 121 00:10:46,546 --> 00:10:49,778 ...let's take advantage of the generous offer of the gentlemen, shall we? 122 00:10:49,949 --> 00:10:51,781 SOLO: Come on. 123 00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:03,554 I would like to see the faces of our friends from U.N.C.L.E.: 124 00:11:03,730 --> 00:11:06,393 Nahdi arriving two hours before he's expected... 125 00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,330 ...and on your private plane. 126 00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,868 For security purposes only. 127 00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:14,906 Above all, the president must be protected. 128 00:11:20,947 --> 00:11:25,009 Welcome to Geneva, Mr. President. I am Brutus Thor. 129 00:11:25,185 --> 00:11:27,313 I'm honored that you accepted my invitation. 130 00:11:27,887 --> 00:11:30,550 It was most gracious of you, Mr. Thor. 131 00:11:30,723 --> 00:11:34,091 I cannot tell you how I shall appreciate staying at your villa... 132 00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:37,287 ...away from all the fanfare. 133 00:11:37,463 --> 00:11:41,628 Believe me, sir, it's a privilege to be of some, uh, small assistance... 134 00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:44,669 ...to the great champion of world peace. 135 00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:47,170 Thank you, Mr. Thor. 136 00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:03,313 [NELLIE LAUGHING] 137 00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,351 And when that Roman had the nerve to pinch me... 138 00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:10,554 ...well, I just hauled up and gave him a pow. 139 00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:14,797 Say, uh, what time is it? 140 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:17,631 - There's no hurry. We don't have our room. - That could take forever. 141 00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:21,741 Listen, you've both have been very sweet, but I must go or I'll miss my plane. 142 00:12:21,908 --> 00:12:25,538 Now, let me see. I had, uh, three daiquiris. That's two francs-- 143 00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:27,772 Now, that's all right. We'll take care of it. 144 00:12:27,947 --> 00:12:30,416 - Oh, no, I couldn't. - Yes, you could. 145 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,781 All right, I could, ha, ha. But you must promise to let me buy you a drink... 146 00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,785 ...the next time you get to Newport News. 147 00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:38,481 HOTEL CLERK: Mr. Solo. - It's a promise. 148 00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:44,252 Here's your key. Room 609, ha, ha. 149 00:12:44,430 --> 00:12:47,867 Oh, and, uh, there's a phone call for you. You can take it right here. 150 00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,502 SOLO: Oh. 151 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:54,539 Yes, uh, Solo here. 152 00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,699 You know something? 153 00:12:56,876 --> 00:12:58,811 You're cute. 154 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,614 You're very kind. 155 00:13:03,783 --> 00:13:06,412 Hmm. I feel like such a naughty girl. 156 00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,145 All these daiquiris. 157 00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,722 It's absolutely lewd. 158 00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:14,687 - All right, thank you. ILLYA: That was...? 159 00:13:14,861 --> 00:13:16,659 SOLO: The airport. Nahdi came in on a private plane. 160 00:13:16,829 --> 00:13:18,320 - We better check the embassy. - Right. 161 00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,558 NELLIE: But what about me? - We'll get you a cab. 162 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,861 In Geneva? But you'll have to throw somebody out. 163 00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:25,096 ILLYA: Well, that's better than breaking a promise. 164 00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:27,930 [WATCH RINGING] 165 00:13:28,107 --> 00:13:30,099 [MEOWS] 166 00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:33,170 - Yes? - It is me, Mr. Thor. 167 00:13:33,346 --> 00:13:35,440 It's about time. What took you so long? 168 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,607 They just-- 169 00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:42,418 They've just got a room, 609. 170 00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:44,386 They're on their way up there right now. 171 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:49,393 I see. You're sure they can't find the bomb if they open their overnight bag? 172 00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:52,697 - Impossible. - Excellent. 173 00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:58,065 Well, give Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin a chance to make themselves comfortable... 174 00:13:58,237 --> 00:14:01,435 ...then, uh, press the button. 175 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,512 [SIGHS] 176 00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:11,981 [MEOWS] 177 00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:17,413 [TIRES SCREECH] 178 00:14:28,034 --> 00:14:31,436 Quick, quick! Back to the hotel. Quick, quick! 179 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,164 Hurry. 180 00:14:37,143 --> 00:14:39,169 SOLO: Yes, I'll hold. 181 00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:42,541 Did you mark those drinks in the expense account? 182 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:46,447 - No, I will absorb them personally. - Hmm. Very generous. 183 00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,919 I'm sure you'll get even if you ever get to Newport News. 184 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:52,524 Ha, ha. Well, I won't hold my breath. 185 00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:59,327 Quick! Hurry! 186 00:15:00,566 --> 00:15:02,034 Yes, I'm holding. 187 00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,702 Nobody at the embassy knows anything about Nahdi's arrival. 188 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,932 ILLYA: Well, isn't that rather strange? 189 00:15:08,141 --> 00:15:12,306 Yes, perhaps you can help me. I'm trying to locate President Nahdi. 190 00:15:13,479 --> 00:15:15,607 He's not staying at the embassy. 191 00:15:15,782 --> 00:15:17,842 Brutus Thor? 192 00:15:19,485 --> 00:15:21,454 All right, thank you. 193 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:25,381 Brutus Thor, the munitions king? 194 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:28,221 Well, I don't know of anyone else with that name. 195 00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:31,455 Disarmament conferences make strange bedfellows. 196 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:32,621 [KNOCKING ON DOOR] 197 00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:35,564 Come in. Come in! 198 00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:36,896 - Where is it? BOTH: What? 199 00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:39,038 The overnight bag. 200 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,045 Those were my shirts. 201 00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:49,205 [BAG EXPLODES] 202 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,059 - That was close. - Thank you. 203 00:16:08,234 --> 00:16:10,362 You're welcome. Bye. 204 00:16:10,536 --> 00:16:12,027 How did you know about the...? 205 00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:15,334 I heard a man say that there was a bomb in Solo's overnight bag. 206 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,340 And he said Room 609. 207 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:19,445 Listen, I gotta run. The meter's running. 208 00:16:19,612 --> 00:16:22,480 Hey, wait a minute. What's all this about? What are you talking about? 209 00:16:22,648 --> 00:16:25,675 - What man? Where? - In my tooth. 210 00:16:25,852 --> 00:16:27,184 - Your what? - Your tooth? 211 00:16:27,353 --> 00:16:31,154 Uh-huh. You see, my dentist says that the acids in my system are kind of funny. 212 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,520 And when I have something to drink with rum in it... 213 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:37,221 ...or if the weather conditions are right, well, then my molar filling... 214 00:16:37,396 --> 00:16:40,798 ...turns into sort of a, like, you know, a radio receiver. 215 00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:44,563 And a radio announcer told you there was a bomb in my bag? 216 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:48,139 Oh, no, no. I was listening to the baseball scores on Radio Free Europe... 217 00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:50,435 ...when all of a sudden this voice broke in. 218 00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,135 What kind of voice? 219 00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:56,271 Well, I don't know. A man. A raspy foreign voice. 220 00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:59,783 I've read about your type, just never met one. 221 00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:02,245 Hey, listen, I still might catch my plane. 222 00:17:02,421 --> 00:17:05,357 Um, sorry about your shirts. Bye. 223 00:17:05,525 --> 00:17:08,120 Miss Canford, uh, look, we can't let you go now. 224 00:17:08,294 --> 00:17:11,093 I mean, not with your talent. 225 00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,857 But I've gotta get back to Newport News. 226 00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:16,525 Forget Newport News. This is, uh, far more important. 227 00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:17,897 Oh, now wait a minute. 228 00:17:18,070 --> 00:17:20,801 We shall only need you for a few days. 229 00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:24,102 Mr. Kuryakin, I don't know what kind of a girl you think I am. 230 00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:26,644 Believe me, believe me, we're only interested in your tooth. 231 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,781 And nothing but the tooth. 232 00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,814 If you don't let go of me, I'm gonna scream. 233 00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:33,817 - Then we shall have to gag you. - It will be easier if you cooperate. 234 00:17:33,986 --> 00:17:38,082 But my job. I was a substitute teacher and this is my first permanent assignment. 235 00:17:38,257 --> 00:17:42,160 Our company has, uh, many, many connections. 236 00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:45,660 Including the Newport News board of education. 237 00:17:45,831 --> 00:17:47,299 There's something I have to tell you. 238 00:17:48,134 --> 00:17:52,071 Your tooth could play a decisive part in the fight for world peace. 239 00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,934 What kind of company are you with? 240 00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:57,167 The, uh, United Network Command for Law and Enforcement. 241 00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:58,811 The U.N.C.L.E. 242 00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:00,640 U.N.C.L.E. 243 00:18:00,813 --> 00:18:03,214 No. Really? 244 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,785 But where would I stay? I couldn't get another room to save my life. 245 00:18:07,954 --> 00:18:10,321 Well, we can share this room. 246 00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:12,754 - Now, whoa there. - Oh, come on, now. 247 00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:15,918 It'll be perfectly proper. Are you kidding? 248 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:19,031 We'll, uh, just hang a sheet somewhere. 249 00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:22,093 You can have the side with the view. 250 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:24,060 How's that? 251 00:18:28,908 --> 00:18:31,537 RHETT: May I help you? SOLO: Yes, I wanna see President Nahdi. 252 00:18:31,711 --> 00:18:33,873 RHETT: Oh, I'm sorry. He's not receiving any callers. 253 00:18:34,046 --> 00:18:35,571 My name is Napoleon Solo. 254 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:37,683 Would you please show the president this card? 255 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:41,753 RHETT: I'm afraid it makes no difference. I'm under very strict orders, sir. 256 00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:44,857 - Whose orders? THOR: Mine. 257 00:18:45,024 --> 00:18:46,390 I am Brutus Thor. 258 00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:50,223 Well, I'm Napoleon Solo. It's very urgent that I see President Nahdi. 259 00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:51,728 Please come in, Mr. Solo. 260 00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:56,733 ILLYA: Thank you. 261 00:18:56,902 --> 00:19:00,805 THOR: Mr. Solo, I'm sure you can appreciate our caution with regard to visitors. 262 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,134 Yes, of course I understand. 263 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:06,575 These are my associates, Mr. Kuryakin and Miss Canford. 264 00:19:06,746 --> 00:19:09,773 - Charmed. - Likewise. 265 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:13,909 President Nahdi is, uh, in meditation at the moment. 266 00:19:14,086 --> 00:19:16,317 While we wait, may I offer you a brandy? 267 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:20,688 Excellent, yes. And, uh, Miss Canford will have something with a little rum in it. 268 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,351 Oh, yes, rum. 269 00:19:23,129 --> 00:19:24,722 Rhett? 270 00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:27,891 Ah, Mr. Kuryakin. 271 00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:32,466 I, uh, see you're admiring my little display. 272 00:19:32,638 --> 00:19:35,904 Oh, I often wondered where Santa Claus spent the off-season. 273 00:19:36,075 --> 00:19:38,237 It's, uh, very interesting. 274 00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:43,048 - What's your name? TOY DOG: My name is Fido. 275 00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:48,017 ILLYA: That's a most unusual toy. - Yes, I'm quite proud of Fido. 276 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,248 The sound of your voice triggered the speech mechanism. 277 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:54,792 I presume this is the dove of peace. 278 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:58,021 Of course. I only manufacture peace toys. 279 00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,098 Isn't that a rather abrupt turnabout? 280 00:20:00,266 --> 00:20:04,533 I thought the name of Thor was always associated with tanks, not toys. 281 00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:08,664 You're quite right, Mr. Solo. But it's time the family image was changed. 282 00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:13,404 I, sir, wish to be remembered as a man of peace. 283 00:20:14,013 --> 00:20:16,005 [COUGHING] 284 00:20:18,617 --> 00:20:20,552 Are you all right? 285 00:20:21,854 --> 00:20:23,914 President Nahdi will see you now. 286 00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:25,489 Ah, Dr. Diljohn... 287 00:20:25,658 --> 00:20:29,254 ...President Nahdi's personal physician and closest associate. 288 00:20:29,428 --> 00:20:33,331 Uh, Miss Canford, Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin. 289 00:20:33,933 --> 00:20:36,232 Uh, excuse me. 290 00:20:37,636 --> 00:20:40,333 I can't tell you, Mr. Kuryakin, how much safer I feel... 291 00:20:40,506 --> 00:20:42,998 ...knowing that your organization will be on hand... 292 00:20:43,175 --> 00:20:44,837 ...throughout the entire conference. 293 00:20:45,010 --> 00:20:47,605 Oh, I can't tell you what a pleasure it is to be here. 294 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:50,147 DOLL: Mama. Mama. 295 00:20:52,284 --> 00:20:54,776 I apologize for changing my travel arrangements. 296 00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:57,116 I realize it caused you inconvenience. 297 00:20:57,289 --> 00:20:59,656 Oh, that's all right. I only wish you had let us know. 298 00:20:59,825 --> 00:21:01,293 I am sorry. 299 00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,258 But I must admit I welcomed the opportunity... 300 00:21:03,429 --> 00:21:05,830 ...to avoid the hive of reporters and photographers. 301 00:21:05,998 --> 00:21:07,296 I understand. 302 00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:10,868 I must advise you, however, to relocate your headquarters... 303 00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:13,505 ...to somewhere less, uh.... 304 00:21:13,906 --> 00:21:15,067 Well, let's say available. 305 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:18,772 Your concern, Mr. Solo, does not pass unappreciated. 306 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:21,209 But I feel very safe here... 307 00:21:21,380 --> 00:21:24,544 ...and I would not insult my gracious host by leaving. 308 00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:27,516 Well, if Mr. Thor is really interested in your safety... 309 00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:30,178 ...he won't mind your moving for the sake of security. 310 00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:34,251 Whoever shot at you in your own country is certain to try again. 311 00:21:34,426 --> 00:21:37,021 Perhaps, Mr. Solo. 312 00:21:37,196 --> 00:21:40,564 But what saved me that time, security? 313 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:44,495 Fate, or to be more precise, my allergy to cats. 314 00:21:45,137 --> 00:21:51,373 Mr. Solo, tomorrow the world is going to sit down to discuss peace. 315 00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:55,914 And I firmly believe that I am fated to lead that discussion. 316 00:21:58,017 --> 00:21:59,417 All right. 317 00:22:00,052 --> 00:22:01,850 Our phone number. 318 00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:06,755 If I can be of any service, anything at all, please call. 319 00:22:06,926 --> 00:22:08,792 Thank you. 320 00:22:14,133 --> 00:22:17,331 Until tomorrow, at the conference. 321 00:22:27,213 --> 00:22:29,045 Thank you. 322 00:22:31,617 --> 00:22:34,815 I shall step into the garden for a breath of air. 323 00:22:41,227 --> 00:22:42,786 Something troubling you, doctor? 324 00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:45,329 - Yes. - Well? 325 00:22:45,497 --> 00:22:48,729 I feel you should have taken Mr. Solo's advice. 326 00:22:49,668 --> 00:22:54,197 My friend, isn't it enough that you are my physician... 327 00:22:54,373 --> 00:22:56,604 ...that you guard me with your life... 328 00:22:56,775 --> 00:23:00,974 ...that you taste my food before you let me eat it? 329 00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:05,313 But you can't guard me against my own judgment... 330 00:23:05,484 --> 00:23:08,682 ...or shield me from my responsibility. 331 00:23:09,255 --> 00:23:13,090 - Trust me. - I trust you, but.... 332 00:23:14,260 --> 00:23:15,956 Forgive me. 333 00:23:16,128 --> 00:23:18,996 Oh, have you seen my notes for the opening address? 334 00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:22,532 I'll see if they're ready. Mr. Thor is having them re-typed. 335 00:23:23,702 --> 00:23:26,831 That man thinks of everything, doesn't he? 336 00:23:27,640 --> 00:23:32,203 THOR: "One nation builds a bomb under the guise of self-defense. 337 00:23:32,378 --> 00:23:36,179 Their enemy builds a bigger bomb in self-defense. 338 00:23:36,348 --> 00:23:39,375 My friends, where does it stop? 339 00:23:39,551 --> 00:23:44,922 The world is starving and we are building bigger bombs." 340 00:23:45,557 --> 00:23:49,324 I must say, Nahdi does sound convincing. 341 00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:54,490 THOR: Why are you so unhappy, Kiru? Everything's going perfectly. 342 00:23:54,667 --> 00:23:58,365 We had those U.N.C.L.E. agents right here. We should not have let them get away. 343 00:23:58,537 --> 00:24:00,768 But I didn't let them get away. 344 00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:06,345 I just granted a stay of execution, until tomorrow at the conference. 345 00:24:06,512 --> 00:24:11,416 When the bomb goes off, Solo and Kuryakin will go off with it... 346 00:24:11,583 --> 00:24:14,678 ...along with Nahdi and everyone else. 347 00:24:14,853 --> 00:24:16,344 [THOR CLEARS THROAT] 348 00:24:16,522 --> 00:24:18,115 What's that? 349 00:24:23,495 --> 00:24:26,431 It's Dr. Diljohn. He must have heard everything. 350 00:24:26,598 --> 00:24:28,726 Don't worry. 351 00:24:30,402 --> 00:24:35,272 I have a very effective cure... 352 00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:38,574 ...for eavesdropping. 353 00:24:40,212 --> 00:24:42,875 - Any messages? - I'll check, sir. 354 00:24:43,048 --> 00:24:44,243 Have you heard anything? 355 00:24:44,416 --> 00:24:46,942 The Lucerne Symphony and some German soccer match. 356 00:24:47,119 --> 00:24:48,109 No, sir. 357 00:24:48,287 --> 00:24:50,279 [RINGS] 358 00:24:51,590 --> 00:24:52,990 Front desk. 359 00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:55,218 Yes, he's right here. Mr. Solo? 360 00:24:55,394 --> 00:24:56,453 - Hmm? - It's for you. 361 00:24:56,628 --> 00:24:59,188 - Mm, thank you. - You can take it right here. 362 00:24:59,898 --> 00:25:00,888 Solo here. 363 00:25:01,066 --> 00:25:04,002 This is Dr. Diljohn, President Nahdi's physician. 364 00:25:04,169 --> 00:25:06,468 Something terrible has happened, Mr. Solo. 365 00:25:06,638 --> 00:25:09,267 They are going to plant a bomb at the peace conference. 366 00:25:09,441 --> 00:25:10,602 Who's going to plant a bomb? 367 00:25:10,776 --> 00:25:12,608 Everyone is going to be killed. 368 00:25:12,778 --> 00:25:16,112 - You've got to do something, Mr. Solo. - Doctor, calm down. 369 00:25:16,281 --> 00:25:17,271 [DIAL TONE] 370 00:25:17,449 --> 00:25:20,578 Doctor? Doctor? 371 00:25:24,790 --> 00:25:26,782 [DILJOHN GASPING] 372 00:25:30,462 --> 00:25:32,897 I'm sorry, Dr. Diljohn. 373 00:25:33,065 --> 00:25:36,695 But sometimes a little knowledge can be a dangerous thing. 374 00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:38,861 [GRUNTING] 375 00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:49,412 Where's Dr. Diljohn? 376 00:25:49,581 --> 00:25:52,608 THOR: In here, Mr. Solo. I've been trying to reach you. 377 00:25:52,785 --> 00:25:54,777 Why? About Dr. Diljohn? 378 00:25:54,953 --> 00:25:59,254 THOR: Yes, he, uh, suffered a coronary occlusion. 379 00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:03,457 - Dead? - Yes. 380 00:26:08,834 --> 00:26:11,599 - When did it happen? - We don't know exactly. 381 00:26:11,770 --> 00:26:13,705 Mr. Kiru found him. 382 00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:16,432 Holding the telephone. 383 00:26:16,608 --> 00:26:17,974 Has Mr. Nahdi been told? 384 00:26:18,143 --> 00:26:19,236 Not yet. 385 00:26:19,411 --> 00:26:23,815 Poor man. I was growing very fond of him. 386 00:26:23,982 --> 00:26:26,542 Should I notify the authorities, Mr. Thor? 387 00:26:26,718 --> 00:26:28,414 [GASPS] 388 00:26:28,587 --> 00:26:30,886 - What is it? - Him! 389 00:26:31,056 --> 00:26:33,525 The voice. The bomb in your room. 390 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,358 All right, the masks are off, Thor. 391 00:26:36,528 --> 00:26:39,987 And the game is over, Mr. Solo. 392 00:27:00,018 --> 00:27:03,614 We'll just want you to stay with us for a couple of days, Miss Canford. 393 00:27:03,789 --> 00:27:05,587 I had to listen to you, right? 394 00:27:05,757 --> 00:27:08,852 I was on my way to Virginia for a very rewarding career. 395 00:27:09,595 --> 00:27:12,360 I'll probably lose my job. 396 00:27:15,134 --> 00:27:17,694 Worse than that, I'll probably lose my life. 397 00:27:24,143 --> 00:27:27,045 Mr. Thor? This is Kiru. 398 00:27:27,212 --> 00:27:29,704 - Must be some kind of a transmitter. - Shh. 399 00:27:29,882 --> 00:27:31,783 Miss Canford? 400 00:27:31,950 --> 00:27:34,510 [WHISPERING] He's talking to Thor. 401 00:27:35,721 --> 00:27:38,316 They're taking us to Lake Geneva. 402 00:27:50,402 --> 00:27:55,102 We all share your loss, Mr. President. 403 00:28:02,548 --> 00:28:04,949 I didn't know he had a heart condition. 404 00:28:05,951 --> 00:28:08,284 That's the way those things happen. 405 00:28:08,453 --> 00:28:13,414 You work, you strive, and then when you least expect it.... 406 00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:17,326 Such an untimely death. 407 00:28:17,963 --> 00:28:19,761 Death is always untimely. 408 00:28:21,466 --> 00:28:24,630 Did Dr. Diljohn get my notes before he...? 409 00:28:24,803 --> 00:28:27,568 I'll see that you get them right away. 410 00:28:34,746 --> 00:28:36,647 - Is it done? - Uh, yes, sir. 411 00:28:36,815 --> 00:28:40,582 But I still don't understand why you only wanted me to spray Page 10. 412 00:28:40,752 --> 00:28:44,086 Ooh, you know how these great heads of state are. 413 00:28:44,256 --> 00:28:46,225 I don't want to miss any latecomers. 414 00:28:46,391 --> 00:28:49,520 Oh, very clever scheme, if it works. 415 00:28:49,695 --> 00:28:51,288 Oh, it cannot fail. 416 00:28:51,463 --> 00:28:55,127 The essence of cat on this page doesn't affect you or me... 417 00:28:55,300 --> 00:28:59,169 ...but when the peacemonger turns the page, he'll start to sneeze. 418 00:28:59,338 --> 00:29:03,139 When he sneezes, he'll reach for his customary handkerchief. 419 00:29:03,308 --> 00:29:04,867 Have you got it? 420 00:29:05,477 --> 00:29:08,174 And when he wipes his nose, boom. 421 00:29:08,347 --> 00:29:09,371 [CHUCKLES] 422 00:29:09,548 --> 00:29:15,283 And the, uh, beauty of it is you can, uh, drop it... 423 00:29:15,454 --> 00:29:19,721 ...you can walk on it, you can even light it with a match and nothing will happen. 424 00:29:19,891 --> 00:29:25,262 But moisture, even the most minute drop from a single sneeze... 425 00:29:25,430 --> 00:29:29,731 ...will immortalize everybody in the conference room. 426 00:29:30,235 --> 00:29:31,567 [SIGHS] 427 00:29:54,159 --> 00:29:55,923 The sun's up. 428 00:29:56,094 --> 00:29:58,188 I'm sleepy. 429 00:29:58,797 --> 00:30:00,265 Then why not try sleeping? 430 00:30:00,432 --> 00:30:03,527 Oh, I can't go to sleep in this position. I'm all scrunched up. 431 00:30:03,702 --> 00:30:06,194 Then think of something, uh... 432 00:30:06,972 --> 00:30:08,804 ...pleasant. 433 00:30:08,974 --> 00:30:11,136 Ah, crawl over there. 434 00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:13,836 - Why? - Don't ask any foolish questions. 435 00:30:14,012 --> 00:30:15,275 Just crawl over there. 436 00:30:15,447 --> 00:30:18,110 Okay, but don't look. I have to hike up my skirt. 437 00:30:19,284 --> 00:30:21,116 [GASPS] 438 00:30:21,286 --> 00:30:23,050 Oh, I can't crawl anymore. 439 00:30:23,221 --> 00:30:24,985 Well, uh, just stand up, then. 440 00:30:25,157 --> 00:30:28,787 Stand up? You might as well ask me to whistle "Dixie" while I'm at it. 441 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,953 Well, if you think that will help, by all means. 442 00:30:34,399 --> 00:30:37,392 [NELLIE WHISTLING "DIXIE"] 443 00:30:40,806 --> 00:30:44,436 All right, now hippity-hop over to the post. Go on. Hop to it. 444 00:30:46,945 --> 00:30:50,074 Hip, hop. Now unhook that ladder. 445 00:30:53,752 --> 00:30:56,813 - She'll never make it. - Unhook it. Let it swing over here. 446 00:30:56,988 --> 00:31:00,083 That's it. Okay. Now.... 447 00:31:01,326 --> 00:31:03,318 [SOLO GRUNTING] 448 00:31:14,439 --> 00:31:16,431 NELLIE: Hey, that's a good trick to remember. 449 00:31:16,608 --> 00:31:19,305 It'll keep my kindergarten kids busy when I get back to school. 450 00:31:20,245 --> 00:31:22,305 [GRUNTING] 451 00:31:23,181 --> 00:31:24,843 If I get back to school. 452 00:31:26,785 --> 00:31:28,811 [GROANING] 453 00:31:35,761 --> 00:31:36,956 SOLO: Three of them. 454 00:31:37,462 --> 00:31:38,555 Well, we could rush them. 455 00:31:38,730 --> 00:31:40,392 Hey! 456 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:46,799 Uh, isn't anyone going to untie me? 457 00:31:48,306 --> 00:31:51,037 Wrists hurt, my feet hurt. 458 00:32:09,094 --> 00:32:11,029 How's your fishing? 459 00:32:11,730 --> 00:32:13,756 Oh, I can open a tin of sardines. 460 00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:16,060 Well, that's more than I can do. 461 00:32:24,242 --> 00:32:25,642 [GRUNTS] 462 00:32:29,714 --> 00:32:31,512 Hey, wait. 463 00:32:33,518 --> 00:32:35,453 All right, go on with him. 464 00:32:49,367 --> 00:32:50,357 [GUNSHOT] 465 00:33:07,919 --> 00:33:10,218 [WATER SPLASHING] 466 00:33:13,692 --> 00:33:15,217 You stop that. 467 00:33:15,393 --> 00:33:17,157 Oh. 468 00:33:29,174 --> 00:33:30,335 [THUDS] 469 00:33:30,675 --> 00:33:32,337 You did well, Nell. 470 00:33:32,511 --> 00:33:36,448 I took a quickie course in self-defense when I knew I was coming abroad. 471 00:33:38,116 --> 00:33:39,778 My turn. 472 00:33:44,556 --> 00:33:46,991 I suggest we repair to the hotel for repairs. 473 00:33:47,158 --> 00:33:49,457 The conference is due to start in a few hours. 474 00:33:49,628 --> 00:33:50,618 What about Mr. Nahdi? 475 00:33:50,795 --> 00:33:53,788 Obviously, they're not going to kill him before the conference. 476 00:33:53,965 --> 00:33:58,494 I think we better let Thor play his hand out to the last card. 477 00:34:19,190 --> 00:34:20,783 They're not very friendly. 478 00:34:20,959 --> 00:34:23,485 If you saw three seedy-looking characters standing on the road... 479 00:34:23,662 --> 00:34:24,686 ...would you pick them up? 480 00:34:24,863 --> 00:34:26,889 We'll never get a ride this way. 481 00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:29,398 Can you suggest something better? 482 00:34:29,868 --> 00:34:31,359 In there. 483 00:34:31,736 --> 00:34:32,931 Hey! 484 00:35:35,967 --> 00:35:38,869 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 485 00:35:39,504 --> 00:35:41,530 Mr. Thor's residence. 486 00:35:41,706 --> 00:35:43,299 Let me speak to Mr. Thor. 487 00:35:43,942 --> 00:35:46,275 It's Mr. Kiru. 488 00:35:49,814 --> 00:35:52,010 What is it, Kiru? 489 00:35:56,788 --> 00:35:58,757 Just a moment. 490 00:35:58,923 --> 00:36:02,985 I said two minutes and 45 seconds. 491 00:36:11,503 --> 00:36:15,599 I still can't work out how they intend to smuggle the bomb in. 492 00:36:17,676 --> 00:36:20,305 [HUMMING] 493 00:36:24,015 --> 00:36:25,916 Are you getting anything on your tooth? 494 00:36:26,084 --> 00:36:28,713 Some combo from Radio Luxembourg. 495 00:36:28,887 --> 00:36:30,412 Keeps fading out. 496 00:36:30,588 --> 00:36:31,578 [SIGHS] 497 00:36:31,756 --> 00:36:33,850 You better have a little more rum. 498 00:36:34,959 --> 00:36:38,794 I keep drinking and drinking and nothing. 499 00:36:39,964 --> 00:36:40,988 [HICCUPS] 500 00:36:41,166 --> 00:36:44,227 - Except hiccups. - Well, drink up. We haven't got much time. 501 00:36:48,940 --> 00:36:51,637 Oh, um, excuse me. 502 00:36:51,810 --> 00:36:55,747 If I drink much more, I refuse to be responsible for my actions. 503 00:37:00,385 --> 00:37:01,580 More rum, please. 504 00:37:01,753 --> 00:37:04,313 There's no time for that. The conference starts in an hour. 505 00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:07,687 Cancel that rum. 506 00:37:08,927 --> 00:37:12,830 You better get on over to Thor's place. The answer may be there. 507 00:37:14,666 --> 00:37:16,897 In the meantime, I'll take Nellie down to the conference. 508 00:37:17,068 --> 00:37:18,263 Hurry up, Nell. 509 00:37:18,436 --> 00:37:20,428 [CLAPS] 510 00:37:20,638 --> 00:37:24,131 I'll stop on the way and pick up some rum cookies. 511 00:37:26,745 --> 00:37:28,737 [DOOR CLOSES] 512 00:37:40,725 --> 00:37:43,889 There, I believe I have everything I need. 513 00:37:45,964 --> 00:37:48,263 I've waited a long time for this moment, Mr. Thor. 514 00:37:48,433 --> 00:37:50,163 As have we all. 515 00:37:50,335 --> 00:37:51,826 Oh. 516 00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:56,006 There. 517 00:37:56,174 --> 00:37:58,507 You're going to be on television, you know. 518 00:37:58,676 --> 00:38:01,373 And the whole world will be watching. 519 00:38:01,980 --> 00:38:06,042 So accustomed to having poor old Dr. Diljohn at my side. 520 00:38:08,686 --> 00:38:10,746 Good luck, Mr. President. 521 00:38:11,389 --> 00:38:13,915 We're all counting on you. 522 00:38:34,813 --> 00:38:39,274 Welcome to the first globally televised peace conference. 523 00:38:39,450 --> 00:38:42,614 This is Richard Turer, your commentator on this broadcast... 524 00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:45,951 TURER [ON TV]...being sent throughout the world by Telstar. 525 00:38:46,124 --> 00:38:49,458 Dignitaries from almost every nation are taking their seats. 526 00:38:49,627 --> 00:38:54,395 President Fazir Nahdi is approaching his place at the conference table. 527 00:39:14,752 --> 00:39:16,880 TURER: Mr. Nahdi will be introduced shortly... 528 00:39:17,055 --> 00:39:19,889 ...and we will witness this chapter in history. 529 00:39:27,332 --> 00:39:29,301 You getting something? 530 00:39:30,168 --> 00:39:31,158 What? 531 00:39:31,336 --> 00:39:33,328 [MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO] 532 00:39:34,572 --> 00:39:36,336 Hmm, "La Traviata." 533 00:39:36,507 --> 00:39:39,409 From Naples. Very clear. 534 00:39:40,011 --> 00:39:42,071 MAN: It is my great pleasure... 535 00:39:42,247 --> 00:39:47,049 ...to present President Fazir Nahdi. 536 00:40:04,335 --> 00:40:06,327 [SOLO CLEARS THROAT] 537 00:40:09,240 --> 00:40:11,539 My friends... 538 00:40:12,176 --> 00:40:16,409 ...I want to thank you for having responded to my appeal... 539 00:40:16,581 --> 00:40:18,880 ...for having come from all parts of the world... 540 00:40:19,050 --> 00:40:23,886 ...in response to the noblest aspiration of mankind. 541 00:40:25,356 --> 00:40:29,487 The cause of world peace. 542 00:40:29,661 --> 00:40:32,927 The time has finally arrived. 543 00:40:33,097 --> 00:40:34,087 [CROWD APPLAUDING ON TV] 544 00:40:34,265 --> 00:40:38,259 It certainly has, Mr. President. It certainly has. 545 00:40:46,344 --> 00:40:47,710 Excuse me, gentlemen. 546 00:40:47,879 --> 00:40:51,646 Ah, Mr. Thor wants you to watch the front of the house. 547 00:41:21,212 --> 00:41:23,204 [ALARM BEEPING] 548 00:41:24,315 --> 00:41:26,307 [MAN SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV] 549 00:41:26,751 --> 00:41:28,413 Somebody is at the toys. 550 00:41:28,586 --> 00:41:30,054 THOR: The door is locked. 551 00:41:30,221 --> 00:41:34,215 The toys will take care of the visitors. Activate them. 552 00:41:44,469 --> 00:41:46,335 [GUNSHOT] 553 00:41:46,504 --> 00:41:50,407 DOLLS: Mama. Mama. Mama. 554 00:42:11,095 --> 00:42:12,757 [GUNSHOTS] 555 00:42:12,930 --> 00:42:15,422 [HOOTING] 556 00:42:33,751 --> 00:42:35,310 [HOOTS] 557 00:42:49,567 --> 00:42:51,559 [HOOTS] 558 00:42:57,775 --> 00:42:59,141 [GUNSHOT] 559 00:43:00,511 --> 00:43:02,673 NAHDI: When differences of opinion can be resolved-- 560 00:43:02,847 --> 00:43:04,839 [CHEERING ON RADIO] 561 00:43:05,016 --> 00:43:08,077 NAHDI: So that the bird of peace... 562 00:43:08,252 --> 00:43:11,916 ...can fly once more in safety. 563 00:43:15,960 --> 00:43:18,486 Eat now, applaud later. 564 00:43:21,365 --> 00:43:24,699 Enough applause. Let him speak. 565 00:43:24,869 --> 00:43:29,466 Three more pages and he'll plaster the walls with you. 566 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:33,736 NAHDI [ON TV]: War is a scar which never heals. It is a cancer.... 567 00:43:33,911 --> 00:43:35,903 [BOTH GRUNTING] 568 00:43:38,549 --> 00:43:41,542 You'll feel better if you straighten up. 569 00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:46,690 NAHDI [ON TV]: There is no peaceful end to our.... 570 00:43:46,858 --> 00:43:48,850 [CROWD APPLAUDING ON TV] 571 00:43:50,962 --> 00:43:55,400 A time to end aggression? 572 00:43:56,634 --> 00:43:59,331 Today is not soon enough. 573 00:43:59,504 --> 00:44:00,836 [CROWD APPLAUDS] 574 00:44:06,377 --> 00:44:09,142 Welcome, Mr. Kuryakin. 575 00:44:09,313 --> 00:44:14,616 Would you care to sit down and watch my favorite television show? 576 00:44:14,785 --> 00:44:20,019 NAHDI [ON TV]: A hate which forms the foundation for future war. 577 00:44:20,191 --> 00:44:22,820 My friends... 578 00:44:22,994 --> 00:44:26,158 ...where does this stop? 579 00:44:26,330 --> 00:44:29,129 You're about to see a page of history. 580 00:44:29,300 --> 00:44:32,065 The tenth page of Nahdi's speech. 581 00:44:32,236 --> 00:44:35,138 When he turns it, psst. 582 00:44:35,940 --> 00:44:38,637 He has two pages to go. 583 00:44:42,613 --> 00:44:44,809 He's such a slow reader. 584 00:44:45,516 --> 00:44:49,681 NAHDI: War has destroyed entire cities... 585 00:44:49,854 --> 00:44:53,586 ...stripped nations of their youthful manpower... 586 00:44:53,758 --> 00:44:58,128 ...torn fathers from their home and left millions of women... 587 00:44:58,296 --> 00:45:00,458 - ...and children homeless. - Open Channel D. 588 00:45:01,532 --> 00:45:03,967 - Illya, come in. NAHDI: So under the guise of self-defense... 589 00:45:04,135 --> 00:45:05,626 Illya, are you there? 590 00:45:05,803 --> 00:45:08,500 NAHDI:...one nation builds a bomb. - Illya, are you there? 591 00:45:10,107 --> 00:45:13,942 NAHDI: Their enemies build a bigger bomb. - Nothing. 592 00:45:14,111 --> 00:45:16,910 - Getting anything? - Not now. Just a lot of static. 593 00:45:17,081 --> 00:45:18,310 And a few more cavities. 594 00:45:19,250 --> 00:45:21,185 - Eat. NAHDI: Where does it stop? 595 00:45:21,352 --> 00:45:22,342 Eat, eat. 596 00:45:22,520 --> 00:45:23,988 [SIGHS] 597 00:45:24,155 --> 00:45:30,686 The world is starving and we build bombs. 598 00:45:31,696 --> 00:45:32,686 [MEOWS] 599 00:45:32,863 --> 00:45:34,161 So it's in the handkerchief. 600 00:45:34,665 --> 00:45:37,567 That's hardly new, you know. 601 00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:39,397 It originated with Thrush. 602 00:45:39,570 --> 00:45:40,731 Oh? 603 00:45:40,905 --> 00:45:43,807 I daresay Thrush didn't use it, um... 604 00:45:43,975 --> 00:45:48,538 ...as effectively as it will be used in just a few seconds. 605 00:45:48,713 --> 00:45:51,012 He's on Page 9 now. 606 00:45:56,220 --> 00:45:58,052 NAHDI [ON TV]: The basis of hostility is-- 607 00:45:59,190 --> 00:46:00,180 [MEOWING] 608 00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:10,323 [GRUNTS] 609 00:46:10,501 --> 00:46:12,868 Serves him right too. 610 00:46:18,276 --> 00:46:20,268 Miss Canford? 611 00:46:20,444 --> 00:46:22,345 Miss Canford. 612 00:46:22,980 --> 00:46:23,970 Nellie? 613 00:46:24,148 --> 00:46:26,549 ILLYA [OVER RADIO] Miss Canford, the bomb is in Nahdi's handkerchief. 614 00:46:26,717 --> 00:46:28,185 Your tooth? 615 00:46:28,352 --> 00:46:30,378 ILLYA: Miss Canford. - You getting something? 616 00:46:30,554 --> 00:46:33,285 - Shh. ILLYA: It will explode when he sneezes. 617 00:46:33,457 --> 00:46:34,652 - Will you--? - The handkerchief. 618 00:46:34,825 --> 00:46:37,260 - What? - Nahdi's handkerchief. It's a bomb. 619 00:46:37,795 --> 00:46:42,563 And I could point clearly to.... 620 00:46:47,605 --> 00:46:51,064 A man has just jumped from the visitor's gallery to the floor below... 621 00:46:51,242 --> 00:46:54,406 ...glides across the table, pushed President Nahdi into a chair. 622 00:46:54,578 --> 00:46:57,013 He's holding his finger under President Nahdi's nose. 623 00:46:59,984 --> 00:47:02,852 Don't just stand there, get the president a handkerchief. 624 00:47:03,521 --> 00:47:05,012 Thank you, Mr. Solo. 625 00:47:08,192 --> 00:47:09,182 [SNIFFING] 626 00:47:13,931 --> 00:47:19,393 And after spending a few days in New York, I came back home to Newport News. 627 00:47:20,071 --> 00:47:23,599 All in all, it was a very exciting summer vacation. 628 00:47:23,774 --> 00:47:25,970 Well, now, that's all for today, children. 629 00:47:26,143 --> 00:47:28,112 When the bell rings, I want you to stand up... 630 00:47:28,279 --> 00:47:30,714 ...and walk out like ladies and gentlemen. 631 00:47:30,881 --> 00:47:32,645 [BELL RINGS] 632 00:47:32,817 --> 00:47:34,308 Come on. 633 00:47:41,359 --> 00:47:43,988 - How does it feel to be back? - Oh, wonderful. 634 00:47:44,161 --> 00:47:46,392 I hope everything was all right with the school board. 635 00:47:46,564 --> 00:47:50,126 Oh, yes, and I didn't even miss a day's pay. Well, thank you again, Mr. Waverly. 636 00:47:50,301 --> 00:47:54,068 Ah, pay, yes, yes. That reminds me. I, uh.... 637 00:47:54,238 --> 00:47:58,073 I have here, gentlemen, your, uh, expense checks. 638 00:47:58,242 --> 00:47:59,904 Oh. 639 00:48:04,615 --> 00:48:08,245 I don't understand this deduction, $12.14. 640 00:48:08,419 --> 00:48:09,648 Yeah, it's on mine too. 641 00:48:09,820 --> 00:48:13,257 Well, it seems that two trailing arbutus plants were destroyed... 642 00:48:13,424 --> 00:48:18,954 ...when Miss Canford disposed of your overnight bag out of the window, ha, ha. 643 00:48:21,599 --> 00:48:24,592 Oh, well, I'll pay for them. I mean, it's only right. 644 00:48:24,769 --> 00:48:27,637 Oh, Miss Canford, that's very kind and generous of you. 645 00:48:27,805 --> 00:48:32,266 But I daresay, Mr. Solo and Mr. Kuryakin can afford it rather better than you. 646 00:48:32,443 --> 00:48:34,935 I mean, after all, a teacher's pay.... 647 00:48:35,112 --> 00:48:37,843 That's true. And with that big dental bill. 648 00:48:38,015 --> 00:48:41,281 Yes, I meant to ask you about that. How's your, uh, molar? 649 00:48:41,452 --> 00:48:46,288 Oh, it's all fixed now. I don't hear a thing on my tooth anymore. 650 00:48:46,457 --> 00:48:49,518 - Except for, uh, one thing. - What's that? 651 00:48:49,693 --> 00:48:53,061 Well, I don't whether this is the right thing for a schoolteacher to admit... 652 00:48:53,230 --> 00:48:58,794 ...but, uh, well, I seem to have developed quite a taste for, uh... 653 00:49:00,504 --> 00:49:01,802 ...rum cookies. 654 00:49:01,972 --> 00:49:03,634 Hmm. 655 00:49:59,263 --> 00:50:01,255 [ENGLISH SDH] 50505

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