Original subtitles

Ooh! Cows.

April! April!

- What? - We just passed the cows.

Great.

Day-Day, take a picture of the cows.

Aw, they're everywhere!

You do realise that the breeding of cows

is, like, the number-one cause of deforestation?

- What? - Methane.

Methane?

Methane gas is 84 times more dangerous than CO2 is.

Oh, April.

You don't have to analyse everything.

You can just appreciate a cow for being a cow.

I'm not the one that would eat that cow.

What? You're mumbling. See, this is your problem.

You don't speak clearly.

No one can understand a word you're saying.

Little sparrows! Look.

You could just act a little more grateful

to be going on holiday.

It's not a holiday.

Right. So, why do they call it a holiday park, then?

- A baby one. - Yay!

Normally I'm in the back seat behind Dad

but he wasn't invited, which means the whole thing's

taken two hours longer than normal

cos Mum won't admit when she's lost.

She says it's the scenic route.

She put the sat-nav on in the end.

Aw!

That's Lucy, the pregnant princess of Dunstable.

- Classic! - Classic Mum!

Hiya!

And her boyfriend Steve. He's a fireman.

They met when Lucy left her hair straighteners on

and nearly burned down the house.

Mum went mental.

April, get out the car.

She thinks it's romantic now.

Yeah, no, it's good. The traffic was bad.

- All right? - Yeah, it was all right.

Not bad.

That's it. She's been taking pictures with her new camera.

Come and say hello, Day-Day.

You gonna capture the memories?

- Day-Day! - Hi.

Look at her. These plaits. I did them.

- Did you do them? - Here she is.

AJ. Look at the hat, that's cool!

Oh, decided to make an appearance, then? Wow!

You really hedge-trimmed the crap out of that, didn't you?

Did you bring your scissors?

- Yeah, it's fine. I can fix it. - I don't know about that.

Steve, I need my cushion. Come on.

Right, I'm gonna go and check us in. Are you coming?

April, get the bags out the car, love.

Right, come on, Day-Day.

You're gonna have to carry this as well, Steve. It's too heavy.

All right. I don't know why this is too heavy. It's full of air.

AI was perfectly fine at home.

But Mum insisted.

I think we stayed in that one last time.

Oh, yeah.

She says there's no way I'm staying in the house on my own.

Keep up, April!

Mum, we gonna go to the spa?

Yeah.

She acts like I could become a heroin addict...

...in a week.

Fuck's sake.

Home sweet holiday home.

Oh, it's perfect!

Whoo! There you go.

This is fun.

Do you think we'll see any more rabbits?

I think this place will be full of rabbits this week.

- What's the Wi-Fi code? - Eh?

- The Wi-Fi code. - There isn't any Wi-Fi.

You said there was Wi-Fi.

Well, there is but it's in the bar.

What?

Well, I thought you could switch off for a few days.

You're always on that phone, you're obsessed.

You need to get a bit of sunshine.

- You're so bloody pale. - I like being pale.

Nobody likes being pale, April. So, why don't you get outside,

get a bit of fresh air in your lungs and...

go and meet some new friends, like you used to?

I've never been good at making friends.

I swear sometimes, she just makes stuff up.

She knows I've always preferred my own company.

Gives me time to think.

Mostly about the world and how it's falling apart.

And what the hell I'm supposed to do about it.

- You coming in, AJ? - No.

Go on. You used to love the pool.

Mm. Reading.

- Luce? - No. Get out of the sun.

Oh, you big bore!

Mum says I was supposed to be born a boy, called Aaron.

I think about him sometimes

and how much easier his life would have been.

- I need to go toilet. - Ask Mum.

We both know she's gonna get you to take me.

Come on, then.

Swim faster.

This place smells like feet.

I wonder what she smells like.

People stare at me a lot.

They always have.

When I was nine, Jennifer Murphy told me

I couldn't use the girls' toilets cos I wasn't a girl.

Like I was a freak of nature or something.

Everyone laughed.

So, I poured glue in her hair.

Take your glasses off, April.

You don't wear your sunglasses inside.

I prefer them on.

Ape, just take them off. You're not blind.

- AJ. - What?

I told you, everyone calls me AJ now.

- What? No, they don't. - Steve does.

I like it. I think it suits you.

What?

Well, I'm not calling you AJ.

- Why not? - Because it's ridiculous

and no one's going to employ someone called AJ.

April's a lovely name. At least that'll get you an interview.

That's so stupid.

No, it's not. Your name's the first thing you're judged on.

Yeah, that and a picture.

Sally turns girls away all the time

cos she doesn't like their picture.

She says you can tell a lot about a person by their face.

Are we allowed dessert?

Ooh. Let's see, shall we?

You've already had ice cream this week.

I keep meaning to say,

my cousin Stephanie's joining your school this year.

Oh, that's great.

Be able to swap numbers and maybe go to the cinema.

- Yeah. - There's no point.

Don't be rude, April.

You could do with some female friends.

Yeah, there's no point cos I'm not going back to school, so...

- What? - What you talking about?

I've just been considering other options.

- What other options? - I just don't see the point

in going to school anymore.

Well, the point is, if you don't finish school,

then you won't be able to get a good job.

Statistically speaking,

40 percent of jobs are gonna be replaced by computers

in the next 15 years anyway, so...

That's ridiculous.

It's not ridiculous. It's a fact.

Well, computers can't cut hair, so...

What's the plan then? What are you thinking of doing?

Indonesia.

- What? - Indonesia?

There's a charity out there.

You can volunteer. You knit jumpers for elephants.

You're not going to live in India, April.

- Indonesia. - Whatever.

So, what, then? We just let the elephants die,

- is that what you're saying? - You know you're lucky

they're even having you back at school at all.

Why can't I just do what I wanna do?

Because it changes every five minutes, April. That's why.

I wonder if anyone's ever killed themselves with a fork.

It's her.

In real life.

Girls like her are exactly what's wrong with the world.

I feel weird.

Like I could stab her in the throat and...

stem the bleeding all at the same time.

Ooh! I've ordered you another breast pump.

I think you're gonna need more than one.

Oh, thanks, Mum. Sally said that I should order

some of that cream for cracked nipples, as well.

I think I'm gonna have the gammon.

This is bullshit.

What is this? What is this?

That is disgusting. This is... Oh, my...

Tina.

Tina.

Er, Mum to you!

Where's my Dead Jesus jumper?

You don't want a jumper on, it's 25 degrees out there.

Why ask me to pack a bag if you're gonna pack it yourself?

April, you can't wear a top that says Dead Jesus on it.

- It's offensive. - Oh, so music is offensive?

Well, why don't you just try on that nice top that I got you?

Why don't you stop buying me clothes I'm never gonna wear?

Well, we're on holiday.

I thought you might want to make a bit of an effort.

Day-Day, come and get some brekkie.

I'm sorry, I didn't realise

that caravan parks came with a dress code.

Well, you know what I mean. It's just...

thinking how you're gonna present yourself.

This time next year, you're gonna be out there.

- Out where? - Out there, in the world.

- am in the world. - You know what I mean.

Actually have no idea.

Just because you're a lesbian now

doesn't mean you have to dress like a boy all the time.

What?

Well, you... You can be gay and, you know...

Here we go.

...look like a girl.

Like whatshername, that lesbian actress that's...

She's in that film where they're all...

They all get stuck in a room.

- Jodie Foster. - Jodie Foster.

She's a lesbian. You'd never be able to tell

- by just looking at her. - Mm. She looks totally normal.

- Morning, my favourite ladies. - Morning, Steve.

- Hey, AJ. How you doing? - Great.

Sleep all right?

Next to these pair? Yeah, right.

- Ooh, April. - What?

Can you take the washing to the launderette for me?

- Do you remember where it is? - Why do I have to do it?

Just do it. I'll pick it up.

There you are. I want the change. We're on a budget.

We're always on a fucking budget.

- Eh? - I said,

"It's good to budget."

Joan of Arc was locked up for wearing the wrong clothes.

She said, "Everything I have done,

I have done at the instruction of my voices."

Those voices probably should have warned her

that she was gonna be burnt to death.

Hey.

- You dropped this. - Fuck.

Oh, thanks.

It's not mine, obviously.

- I would never wear that. - I'm not judging.

Act normal.

- You need a hand? - Er...

No, no, it's all right, thanks.

Come on! For fuck's sake.

You just have to hold it down.

Just a normal wash?

Yeah, normal.

There you go.

You have washing already?

She smells like chlorine.

Yeah. Erm...

Our washing machine broke,

so my mum decided to bring it all here.

I like your hat.

Oh, thanks.

I like... I like your whistle.

I mean, the string, not the whistle.

I don't like whistles, that would be weird.

- I'm Isla, by the way. - AJ.

AJ. Is that short for something?

No, no. Just AJ.

April Jane. But who the fuck wants to be called that?

Are you here with your family?

Yeah. My sister's about to have a baby,

so my mum thought it'd be good for her to relax or whatever.

Well, just a pre-warning, don't touch the grilled beef.

I'm pretty sure it's contaminated.

Like, six of the guests have had the shits this week.

Oh, OK. Well, I don't eat beef.

I'm trying not to eat animal products right now.

Really?

Nate to Iz. Where you at?

I've got to go.

Do you blaze?

- What? - Do you smoke?

Yeah.

Erm, I love smoking.

I smoke all the time, so...

How old are you?

Nobody wants to be 17.

Eighteen. You?

Yeah, 18. It was my birthday last week.

- Leo? - Yeah, yeah.

Well, my shifty is having a party tonight

and my friend Gem is gonna be there.

She's into all that vegan stuff, so you should talk.

Sweet. Cool.

It's just on the other side of the park, so...

Tonight?

Yeah, I mean, unless you want to see

the Chas and Dave tribute act?

Oh, no, I've seen 'em. I don't wanna see 'em again.

What's your number? I'll text you the address.

Oh, cute elephants.

I like elephants.

Cool.

OK, so, text you later, AJ.

OK. Bye.

Thank you.

So, good evening, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.

I hope you're all having a wonderful evening so far.

Now, next up, we do have some more live entertainment,

so please put your hands together

for our incredible magician.

Hello, everybody. Give it up for Ellie. Wasn't she fantastic?

And welcome to Freshwater.

There are two types of people in the world,

those that love magic and those that say they hate magic

but secretly love magic.

Let's make some noise. Who's up for a trick?

Why is life so fucking predictable?

Can I just go back to the caravan?

No. What's wrong? You used to love the magician.

Yeah, I was a kid. I was gullible then.

Shh!

Now, boys and girls, has anyone seen my assistant, Bendy Wendy?

Has anyone seen Bendy Wendy?

Has anyone seen Bendy Wendy? No?

She's behind you!

Behind me? It's not panto. There's no one behind me.

No, she's not. She's probably left me.

She's not in here. There's nothing in here, is there?

There's nothing in there. I used to keep my dog in there.

I did. It was a magical dog.

It was a Labra-cadabra-dor.

Oh, God!

You're welcome.

Right. Count down from five with me. Let's do some magic.

Are you ready? I said, are you ready?

Yeah!

- Right. Five... - Five.

- Four. - Four.

- Three. - Three.

- Two. - Two.

- One. - One.

There she is.

Fantastic. Big round of applause.

She's an incredible contortionist,

although she's struggling to make ends meet at the moment.

That's a contortionist joke and there's not many of them.

Hey! So, it's Isla here.

Um... The party is at C44.

You just keep walking up the hill and it's on your left.

OK, bye.

Mum.

- Mum. - What?

- Can I go out for a bit? - Out where?

Just, um... Just out with a couple of people in the park,

just hanging out.

What people?

Just people. They've invited me to hang out.

No. It's too late now. You can hang out in the morning.

Watch this. Brilliant.

Mum, just let her go. She's not watching it.

You told me to make friends.

Fine. Twelve o'clock.

That's it. I want you back at 12 o'clock.

No later. I don't want you walking round the park

late at night on your own.

- Yep. - I'm serious, April.

Have you got your phone charged?

- Yeah. - OK.

April will at least get an interview.

Just got to do it. Just got to do it.

Just got to...

Sometimes, I have no fucking idea who I am.

All I know is...

...things are different now.

- Gem? - Hm?

- Gem? - Yeah.

You like that?

- It's good. - You love it.

Oi-oi!

Hello. Hey.

- You all right? - Hmm.

Everyone, this is AJ.

AJ, this is Jamie, Gemma G,

Nathan, Elvis, Jemma J, and Christoph.

- Yo. - All right?

Breaking rules again, Iz?

Oh, like I didn't see that blonde girl leave your trailer.

So, you are watching me then? Yeah! I knew it.

Give your chair to AJ?

Nah.

Oh, no, no, it's chill. It's fine.

- Where are you from, AJ? - Um, Dunstable.

Dunstable? Where the fuck's that?

It's near Luton, idiot.

I've been to Luton. It's a shit-hole.

No offence.

So, are you at uni or something?

No. No, I'm sort of, er, taking a year off from all that.

Oh, like a gap year?

- Yeah, a gap year. Exactly. - Yeah, yeah.

I'm actually gonna move to Indonesia soon to...

to knit jumpers for elephants.

Wow! Indonesia?

I thought elephants lived in the desert.

Yeah. Well, because of climate change,

the temperature drops at night, so some of them freeze to death.

Oh, sick. Yeah.

I was gonna do a gap year, actually, but I just thought,

"Do you know what?"

"Gonna go straight out, make money. Real world."

Yeah, I'm gonna be

a social-media influencer one day.

Like, use Instagram until I can just, like,

get enough sponsors and get paid for taking pictures

in my room, so...

Dream big, Gem.

Yeah, I am really ambitious. Yeah.

Right. Let's do it.

They all look so happy.

Like they exist in some parallel universe

where everything is amazing.

I don't think I've ever looked that happy in my entire life.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me?

Hey. You OK?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good. I just, er...

I had a phone call.

If you're not on that, it's cool.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm on it. I'm definitely on it.

All right, OK.

What is going on?

I finally get where smiles come from.

Drugs.

Hey.

You want a drink?

Er, I'm good, thanks.

- You having a good time? - Yeah.

See that light over there?

Yeah.

- That's me. - That's you?

Mm-hm.

Come on. It's cold.

Fine.

I think Elvis likes you.

- What? - He keeps looking at you.

Really?

Is he your type?

- Er, well, I'm sort of... - Fuck. This lighter. Hang on.

Sorry, sorry.

Cheers. Thanks.

- Boys. - Sorry, what were you saying?

How long have you and Nathan been together?

Me and Nathan are not together.

Oh, shit. Really? Sorry. I thought that...

Mn-mn.

It happened once and he seems to think it's some sort of sign.

What do you think?

I don't think there's any such thing as signs.

Got drunk, bored and horny.

So, what's your deal? You got a boyfriend? Girlfriend?

Er... I'm kind of just working on myself right now.

I'm telling you, the Earth is flat.

Nathan, you're being fucking stupid.

He's saying that everything in the universe is round

but we're flat. That's what you're fucking saying.

- Listen. Mate. - You sound fucking stupid.

If the Earth is round, how come you can't see the curve?

He's got a point there.

Where's your answer to that, you prick?

- You can. - What?

You can.

How? Prove it.

Well, you can measure the curvature

by observing mountain peaks at, like, various distances.

That's one example.

Because distance shrinks faster than perspective.

What?

So, like, when a ship goes out to sea, yeah,

it doesn't get smaller. It gets lower.

Like, can disprove flat-Earth theories quite easily.

Also, a lunar eclipse.

You can see the shape of it in a lunar eclipse.

The sun projects Earth's shadow onto the moon.

It's pretty basic science.

Is she David Attenborough?

Shut up, man.

Fuck! Fuck!

You thought you was a scientist.

This guy!

What a fucking shame, eh?

♪ I gotta pee!

You can look, it's just wee.

No, I'm just weeing all the time, so...

Oh, my God, it's one of those wees that never stops. Oh!

How do you know all that stuff?

All of the science stuff.

Oh, er, yeah, I used to think the...

Earth was flat but then I tried to prove it

and ended up proving I was wrong, so...

What?

Erm, so, I climbed a tree in the woods

and took time-lapse pictures of the horizon.

Erm, yeah, actually, that's how I got this scar.

- Cos I fell off the tree. - Oh, my God! You're so funny.

I'm so drunk. Are you drunk?

Oh, yeah. Smashed.

Your make-up's smudged.

Oh, I'm shit at make-up.

Well, you don't need it, so...

She's pretty much licking my face right now.

Let me in. I really need a wee.

Fuck off, Elvis.

Whoa! Fuck! Whoa! OK, go, go.

- Oh! - Oh, AJ.

Fuck's sake, Elvis!

Oi-oi!

Stop it. Put me down.

Stop. Stop.

- Stop! - All right, Luton?

All right. Yo, come with me.

- What? - Just a chat.

- What? - Just quickly. Come on.

I'll be back in a minute, all right?

You all right, Luton?

You enjoying your holiday?

Er, y-yeah.

Cool, cool.

Cool.

So, er, do you like tattoos?

- What? - Tattoos, do you like them?

Yeah, it's all right.

Thinking about getting a whole sleeve. Been saving up.

Couple of weeks now.

Yeah, I've got a scorpion on my foot at the moment.

Do you wanna see it?

I was like, "I ain't getting that," but...

In moments like this,

there's one thing most people do.

Can you see?

Do you wanna do shots?

Shots? Yeah, fuck it. Let's do some shots.

I need to do some shots. Let's do some fucking shots.

I don't know what this is.

I don't even fucking want that.

- You go first. - Oh, OK.

Go on.

Oh!

What's up?

Shit.

I reckon you've got about four more in the bag, Luton.

Let's get it. I've had, like, nine more than you, man.

Keep going!

- Yeah. So, where you going? - I've got to go home.

Bye.

Where the hell have you been?

I've been calling you for the last hour.

I had no idea where you was.

I was just about to call the police.

Look at the state of you.

What's going on?

Oh, my God, are you drunk?

Oh, my God, are you 80?

Have you got make-up on?

What? Don't I look pretty?

What is wrong with you?

I'm 17. Everything's wrong with me.

Shh! Stop shouting.

You're not going in there and waking her up as well.

You can sleep on the couch.

Fine.

You know, no one respects the monarchy anymore?

What?

I said, "No one..."

Oh, you have got to be kidding me. All over my Julius.

Mum, tell her.

Jesus Christ, April.

I'll talk to you in the morning.

- OK, Tina. - I'll give you bloody Tina.

Sorry.

Just go to bed, Mum. I'll sort her out.

Jesus Christ!

No! Not you, please.

It's the devil-monster lady.

What have you taken? You need to tell me,

because if you die in your sleep,

I need to tell the doctors.

You'd love that, wouldn't you?

Do a speech at the funeral, would you?

Pretend that you cared with your big old fat crocodile tears?

- Shut up. - Fucking...

Oh, God!

- Take your shoes off. - I feel awful.

You need to get some sleep.

You'll feel like shit in the morning.

You're shit in the morning.

Right. Goodnight.

April, it's nine o'clock!

Get up!

- Oi! - Mm, fuck off.

Hey, don't swear at me.

I was worried about you last night.

Steve was on his hands and knees

at one o'clock this morning, wiping that sick up.

You told me to make friends. Those were your words.

"Go outside and make friends." That's what you said.

I didn't say, "Go out and get drunk

with a load of strangers." What were you thinking?

Do you know how many girls your age go missing?

And why didn't you answer your phone?

I didn't hear it.

I'm supposed to believe that, am I?

I don't care what you believe.

Well, you won't be seeing these people again, whoever they are.

I don't wanna see them anyway.

What?

I said, "I don't want to see them anyway,"

so that's not even a punishment.

Get up, get in the shower. We're going out.

You're not moping round here all day on your own.

Here we are, AJ.

Come on. Get this down you, darling.

What is it?

Just a secret little hangover cure.

I didn't have all the ingredients, so I, er...

I freestyled a little bit.

Trust me, it'll make you feel better.

Oh, she's alive. You owe me a new pair of shoes.

I mean, we might be able to just

- stick 'em in the machine, no? - What?

You can't put Julius in the washing machine, Steve.

Are you insane?

Excuse me. OK, I must be insane. I'll make a bit of toast.

- Can I have a crumpet? - Of course you can, my precious.

Please.

Mum spent a lot of money on this holiday.

I didn't ask her to.

Yeah, that's your problem, you're ungrateful.

- Luce. - What? She is.

How am I supposed to be grateful

for something I didn't ask for?

Look, this is supposed to be relaxing for me.

If Aurora picks up on any stress hormones,

it could affect her brain and she could go blind, so...

The princess Sleeping Beauty is Aurora.

I've never seen "Sleeping Beauty",

but I'm pretty sure I know how it ends.

And that's the problem.

Put some cream on. There you go.

You too, April. You'll get sunburnt out here.

It comes through the clouds.

Right, come on. Jump in, AJ.

Cos no one ever tells you the truth.

That Sleeping Beauty and her husband...

...properly can't stand each other now.

Ah! Oh!

Shit. Sorry. I didn't think I'd actually scare you.

- You all right? - Yeah, how are you?

Good. Didn't see you leave last night.

Yeah, I was just... I was so stoned.

What you reading?

Oh, er, it's just this book callThe Dizziness Of...

It's, like, poems and...

- Cool. - Your shoelace is untied.

Oh, thanks.

Litter-picking duty. Perks of the job.

- Iz? - Yeah, hang on a sec.

Hey.

- Hi. - Hey.

This is my sister's boyfriend, Steve.

- Hi. Isla. - Hi.

Pow!

- Yeah, no plastic. - Hey, Captain Planet.

You guys having a good time?

Yeah, so far.

Yeah?

Yeah, I'm coming. All right.

- Well, I'll text you? - OK.

- Yeah? - Great.

- See you. - See you.

She seems nice.

- What? - Isla. She seems nice.

Oh. Yeah.

So?

- What? - Nothing.

Girls like her like boys, so...

What? How do you know?

I just know.

There you are. Have some crisps.

Thanks.

This is your holiday too, you know?

What does that mean?

It means you're allowed to enjoy yourself.

What a pair. Oh, my days!

- They don't look suited. - Mn-mn.

I've done this before.

Thought something was... something.

And it wasn't.

I just like the way the wheels move.

They're a lot smoother.

The wheels go round and round...

It's 3.5 kilograms lighter.

It's £150 more expensive.

But the wheels are so smooth. It folds up smaller.

Oh, Luce!

Imagine me clambering up stairs with that massive thing.

- You're gonna be fine. - I'm not!

Please, just get the right one.

- Oh, Lord! - Ape, get out of the way.

What's wrong with her?

I've bought the wrong pram.

She wanted a Bugaboo X. I got the Bugaboo Original.

Where's Mum?

Erm, she's taken Dayna down to the trampoline place.

I think she knows

that you didn't wanna go. Coffee?

Yeah, thanks.

We'll have a kickabout later if you fancy.

OK. Just me, then. Some kick-ups.

ISLA ON PHONHey. Um, sorry I didn't text you

but, um, I've got the day off today,

so let me know if you're about. OK, bye.

I'm going for a walk.

I just made you a coffee.

You have it.

Where's she gone?

She said something about the Wi-Fi.

- You all right? - Yeah. You all right?

- What do you think? - It's wicked.

Is this what we're doing?

Sunbathing?

I've never seen anyone wear so many clothes to the beach.

Oh, yeah.

I don't like the sun very much.

You're sweating.

Ew!

Grim.

I think I am quite hot actually.

She's kind of different from the girls back home.

Like a kid, or an old person, only thinking about today.

Like, in her world,

the sun isn't just a giant killing machine.

- Isla? - What?

I'm not on a gap year.

I'm still at sixth form. I'm... I'm doing my A-levels.

So, you're not knitting jumpers for elephants?

No. I'm really sorry for lying.

I don't normally do it. I'm honest.

You don't know me.

You have no reason to tell me the truth.

You don't care I lied?

That's the best thing about being on holiday, right?

You get to be whoever you wanna be.

- Shit! - What?

- You're burning. - What?

Saltwater will stop it blistering.

But I don't have any swimming stuff.

- No one's around. - You're around.

- What? - Nothing.

I... I said, "What if I drown?"

Then I'll save you. Obviously.

- Come on. - Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

- Is it cold? - It's fresh.

Fresh?

Go on, just do it. It's not that bad.

Ooh! Ooh!

Come on.

I've never wanted to drown so much in my entire life.

It's aftersun.

Stop it from stinging.

Wow, the sun really cooks you, doesn't it?

Sorry.

Oh, shit. My phone just died. I love that song.

- Have you got any music? - Yeah.

What is this?

Oh, yeah, I've got loads of old music on there. Just...

- Skip it. - No, it's good. I like it.

Do you ever take them off?

What?

Your glasses?

Oh, er... Yeah, um...

I usually forget I've got them on.

How do I look?

Good.

You can have it if you want. I have loads of them.

Nate gets them off this guy for, like, a fiver.

You OK?

Why do you like him?

What?

Like, I know he's good-looking

and, you know, Welsh, or whatever,

but apart from that...

Why do you keep asking me about him?

- Why don't you have a boyfriend? - What?

Girls like you always have boyfriends.

Girls like me?

Shit, yeah.

Sorry.

I've just never really met someone

who means that much to me, you know?

Yeah.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah. Yeah.

Have you ever had sex?

- Sex? What? - I'm just asking.

Have you ever thought about it?

About what?

Me.

It's all I've thought about.

- Why can't you just say it? - Say what?

AJ, please. AJ.

Fuck! Oh, I'm so sorry.

No, no, it's fine. It's OK.

- AJ, it's fine. - I've got to go.

- Ow! Fuck! Ow! Ow! - AJ.

Shit! No, I've just got to go. I need to leave. I need to...

Fuck! AJ. AJ, I'm sorry.

I've got to go. I don't know what I'm doing.

And, er, you work here and I don't and I'm on holiday

but I'm not really on holiday. I'm sort of...

sort of here against my fucking will, so...

Yeah, fuck's sake.

Just stop. AJ, stop. Stop. What the...?

AJ! AJ, wait.

Whoa! All right, AJ? What the fuck's up with her?

- You all right, AJ? - Steve, concentrate.

I need to get out of here.

Hi, you've reached Ray...

Hi, you've reached...

Wakey-wakey, sleeping Jesus.

I don't know why you bothered coming on this holiday.

- What's wrong? - I don't feel well.

It can't be your period. You had that last week.

Just leave me alone.

Look. Look at all t'sunburn.

I told you to put some cream on, didn't I?

You've probably got sunstroke.

Right, I need you to do me a favour.

Watch Dayna for me. I've got to pop out.

She can go swimming but she needs to eat first.

There's £10 on the side and you can keep the change.

You don't half look like your dad.

Right. Get up.

Wakey-wakey.

And this one looks like a tiger.

This one kind of does too.

This one looks like a duck. You see?

Then this one's like a unicorn horn.

And we can name them when we get home.

My one should be called Jerry.

Here you are.

Whoops! Hey!

No, no, no, no.

One day, you're gonna get it.

So easy! What did you just call me? Excuse me!

- You're late. - You're late.

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- See you in a bit. - Yeah, sure.

How do I look?

Dayna?

Dayna?

I need to go toilet. I'll be back in a minute.

Day... I'll be...

I'll be back in a minute.

Can I help you?

Is... Is... Is Isla in?

Yeah, she's in the shower.

Do you wanna come in?

- No, it's all right, thanks. - OK.

Elvis, have you seen my sister?

Nah, sorry.

Dayna?

Dayna?

Dayna?

Dayna?

Oh! There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you.

- Oi! - Oi.

Don't shout at her. Where the hell have you been?

- What? - I told you to watch her.

- I was. - Well, why was she

in the arcades on her own?

I needed the toilet.

You don't leave an eight-year-old child

on their own. Something bad could've happened.

Yeah, well, it didn't, so it's fine.

Dayna, go and play in your room, love.

You have absolutely no thought for anyone but yourself, April.

My name is AJ.

Your name is whatever I say it is. I'm your mother.

Yeah, well, Dad calls me AJ. It's not that hard. All right?

Well, good for him. He's not here now, is he?

- He's probably drunk somewhere. - Whose fault is that then?

You were the one who kicked him out.

Well, he deserved it. And that's none of your business.

Just because he gives you a few a quid every now and again,

doesn't make him father of the year.

Is that what all this is about? The haircut?

Stabbing that boy's painting?

Do you think that's gonna make him come back?

At least he's fun.

Well, I'd love to have a bit of fun.

But some of us are working every hour God sends

to keep this family together. Life is not fun all the time.

It will be when I have kids.

Well, we both know that's unlikely, don't we?

What the fuck's that supposed to mean?

Hiya. We're back.

Found that fudge shop, Mum.

I got some for Gran and also for...

What's going on?

Mum thinks that gay people can't have children.

Don't play that homophobe card with me.

I have done nothing but support you since all this started.

"All this started"? What the fuck is that?

All right, guys. Let's calm down a bit.

She's just angry because she's depressed.

A lot of gay people are depressed.

She's not depressed, Lucy. She's selfish.

Depression is a disease.

- She's gay. She's not ill. - She's just a teenager.

Just stop fucking telling me what I am.

- Stop swearing. - Why are you shouting?

Oh. Hey, Day-Day.

Um... How about me and you go and get an ice cream?

Shall we get some shoes on you? Come on.

Pick out the ones you like.

I'll tell you what it is.

April thinks the world revolves around her.

Do you know how embarrassed I was

to go and sit in front of my old teacher for him to tell me

what a psychopath my own daughter is?

Oh, so now I embarrass you?

- She didn't mean it like that. - Yeah, I did.

You could have been expelled.

I don't care.

- She does care, Mum. - No, I don't.

I'm not going back to school.

So, what are you going do, then, smartarse?

What's the big plan? Save the elephants?

You can't even get a job in Costco. You're deluded.

What does that make you?

All you've ever done is work in the same shitty office job

since the day you left school. It's pathetic, Tina.

Ape, do not talk to Mum like that.

Oh, so she can talk to me however she wants,

but when I say something, I'm the bad one?

- Get out of my sight. - Yeah, that's nice, innit?

You think you're so smart, don't you, eh?

Think you're so much better than everyone else.

Yeah, I do, actually.

Do you have any idea what I've done for you?

All I've done is try and help you.

I knew you'd do this. I knew

you'd ruin this holiday for everyone. You always do.

Fuck this.

Ape.

Ape.

Go after her, then.

April, wait.

- Are you ashamed? - What's with all the questions?

Seriously, this is the worst fucking holiday ever.

Well, whose fault is that?

Why are you so angry?

Because you don't understand!

I really wanna walk away from you right now.

Well, go, then. You always do what you bloody want anyway.

Why change the habit of a lifetime?

Neither of them told me why it ended.

He just left.

Come on, Dad.

And that's probably what hurts the most.

Come on!

Hi, you've reached Ray.

Oh, shit!

Shit!

Sorry. Excuse me. Is anyone drinking that?

It was there when we got here.

Oh, right. Thanks.

Are you having those?

Oh, thank you so much. Cheers.

Not at all.

Shit.

Yo.

You all right, Luton? What's up?

Is your name actually Elvis?

Yeah. Yeah.

- My dad's obsessed with him. - Mm-hm.

I don't actually know why, to be honest, but, yeah.

- Are you all right? - Yeah.

Cool.

Do you wanna sit down?

Mm, sit down? OK.

Yeah, fuck it. I'll do it later.

You know, Luton, you're actually pretty cool.

You know, it's...

You're like a guy, right? But with tits.

That sounds bad but, really, that's the perfect combination.

And if you grew your hair out and put some make-up on,

you'd do well for yourself.

And I really mean that.

Do you... Do you like the name April?

- What? - Do you think it suits me?

Yeah. It's nice.

Yeah.

- Sorry. - What?

Sorry. I just, um...

Oh, the door. Wait, wait.

Sorry.

There's no cameras, so...

it's... it's fine.

He smells like hot dogs.

Luton, what's wrong? What? What?

- What's wrong? - I... I'm not...

Luton, what?

- I'm not... - What's wrong?

This is not gonna work.

What's not gonna work?

Luton, are you gay?

Cos Nathan says he can tell by the way you sit

but I don't understand that.

Please. We could sit down and talk.

We'll go on a fucking walk if you want.

- What? - If you're trying to find out

what the fuck is going on, I'm here. I can help you.

You can touch me, and if you don't like it, you can leave.

Please, just fucking touch it, just once.

- Bye, Elvis. - April, April!

Fuck's sake! April!

AJ!

Are you lost?

Did Lucy send you to look for me?

Come on.

Can I have a packet of crisps?

I was gonna say, have you eaten anything today?

Some chips in the morning.

Oh, come on.

That tan's not bad. You look healthy.

Thanks, Mum.

Here we are, AJ. Veggie sausages.

And when they want to lay their eggs,

they go back to the same piece of rock,

and if another seagull's on that rock,

they charge at them with their wings out.

Also, it's a lot noisier at this time of year,

cos the chicks are just about to leave the nest.

So they have to protect them from predators. And...

And finish your lunch, please.

I don't think I want to eat sausages anymore.

Right.

Oh, I got it, I got it.

- Oh, hey. - Hi.

Um, Isla, yeah?

Yeah. Um, sorry for interrupting.

I was just wondering if I could chat to AJ.

Who's that?

Don't know. She's pretty though, isn't she?

What's up?

I'm sorry for showing up unannounced.

- I just wanted to apologise. - What?

For kissing you.

- No, it's fine. - It was a mistake.

I act impulsively sometimes.

Quite a lot, actually. And I...

I just didn't want you to feel, you know...

Are you gonna say anything or...

OK. I'm gonna go.

- Why would you kiss me? - What?

AJ, you're the one who walked away.

OK.

So, you just fuck the first guy

that shows you a bit of attention?

- Is that what you think? - Nathan.

Whoever the fuck that was in your caravan.

I get it. I'm just a giant fuck machine

who goes round fucking everyone. Is that it?

Well, isn't that how you get people to like you?

Fuck you.

Wait. Wait, Isla, please, please, don't...

AJ, if I wanna have sex with someone, that is my business.

Not yours. It's got fuck all to do with you.

You couldn't even wait until I was gone.

You couldn't even have the fucking decency to do that.

For someone so smart, you can be so fucking stupid sometimes.

Oh, I'm stupid, huh?

You're the one living on a fucking holiday park.

Really?

Enjoy your fucking holiday, AJ.

Might just have a couple more chips.

Gonna get a carb coma!

Mm!

I think I might have a lie-down after this, actually.

Are you still not coming?

What?

Day-Day, come on. The disco's starting.

It's weird how things change.

When I was nine,

this was pretty much the best place in the world.

Ladies, grab your Swayzes.

We're taking it back to the '80s.

Excuse me. Loving the shirt. Lovely work.

Thanks.

Why don't you go and get yourself a drink?

Hey. Can I have a Fanta, please?

Of course.

- All right, Luton? - Hey.

Stick it on my tab, Keith.

No. I'll pay for it, thanks.

I said I'll get it.

Yeah. I said it's fine. I have money.

Listen.

I know you kissed her.

Just a heads-up.

- She does this. - Does what?

Fucks around with people.

I mean, I've never known her

to fuck around with a girl before but, hey, I'm down.

- What? - I love lesbians.

I am a lesbian.

Fuck it. I'm a lesbian!

You know Grease was set in the '50s, don't you?

No, it wasn't.

Yeah. It was.

Hey, Day-Day. Day-Day, come here.

Happy birthday. Aw! Nine!

Look, have this. You crack it and it glows.

Hold it up in the air and dance with it.

Doof-doof-doof. Put your hands in the air.

Thanks.

Oh, my God! I love this song. Come on.

We're off to the ball.

Go on, Steve!

Still got it, babe!

Gem.

- Where are you going? - Just leave me alone, Luce.

Can you just stop being a dick for five seconds?

Can you just fuck off?

Ape, just stop. I shouldn't even be walking this fast.

I am carrying a baby, you know?

I know, yeah? Everybody knows.

You're not the only pregnant person in the world.

A lot of people get pregnant. It's not special.

Why do you think the planet's overpopulated?

Why do you think there's so many landfills with nappies in?

It's on you, that is.

Oh, please! I was 17 once, you know?

12 years ago. The world's fucking changed, Luce.

You have no idea what it is to be me,

so you don't fucking try and tell me that you do.

Oh, shit.

If I give birth in this fucking car park, I will kill you.

Fuck. Are you joking?

Do I look like I'm fucking joking?

Do you want me...

Do you want me to call Steve, or...?

Remember when you found that seagull on the beach?

It was all cut up, like it had been attacked or something.

You wanted us to take it to the hospital.

And then when it died,

you made us all do a funeral for it.

You've always cared more than most people, about everything.

It's really fucking annoying.

Yeah, well, maybe I don't want to care anymore.

I don't think she wanted to dance with him, you know?

And I'm really good at body language.

Me and Steve saw a documentary about it.

We should do a movie night.

- Yeah. - Come to the flat.

Nothing with subtitles, though.

OK.

It's gonna be all right.

I need to pee.

- You coming? - In a minute.

- Luce... - Hm?

I like Aurora.

Do you? Kind of gone off it.

Does my hair look OK?

Yeah.

She's all right. She's just getting some fresh air.

Hey! Come on, you disco deserter.

I've had enough, Steve.

What about karaoke?

Babe, I'm not listening to you do that again.

- Ha! - Come on, let's go.

I feel sick.

Oh, Day-Day. Too much dancing. Come on, let's go.

- You coming, Mum? - I think I'll stay.

Sure?

- Yeah. - OK.

Night, Mum.

Night, Tina.

- Right, let's get you to bed. - Night.

- Do you still feel sick? - No.

OK. Close your eyes.

Close your eyes. It's bedtime!

Thank you.

Night.

Can I get a whisky, please, Keith?

Hi. I'm Phil.

I'm waiting for my daughter.

How old?

Er...

Seventeen.

Yes, well, snap. I mean,

it's all boys now and, er, Kardashians.

Oh, no.

No. She hates the Kardashians.

She's more into the universe and climate stuff.

Hmm. Cool.

I, er, didn't get your name.

Denise.

Denise. Do you like magic, Denise?

Depends.

Can you magic me another drink?

Keith.

- Abracadabra. - Oh!

The thing about elephants is...

...they're scared of bees.

Which is weird.

It's like no one told them they're actually elephants.

Cheers!

Yeah. No, it's just, er... Shh!

If I tell you, it ruins the, um, magic of it.

Anyway...

Why did you do magic?

- Why did you start to do magic? - Listen. Let's dance.

- No. No, no, no. - Let's dance!

No, I've got a bad back. I can't. I'm on painkillers.

Can I walk you back to yours?

No. Thank you.

Actually, do you have a cigarette?

Yes.

Now, blow.

It's gone!

It's magic!

Ooh!

Phil.

Hey.

Hey.

What are you doing here?

I live here, remember?

Where's Nathan?

They've all gone to the club.

Sorry.

For what I said.

I kissed Elvis.

I know.

Do you want me to be mad at you?

Maybe.

But there's probably no point

cos I'm going home tomorrow, so...

I like you...

And I just want to tell you that

cos I'm a fucking dickhead sometimes and...

I don't, sort of...

Just gonna carry on talking?

No.

Oh.

Cup of tea?

Sorry I ruined the holiday.

I just wanted us to have a nice time.

You never have a nice time anymore.

I'm OK, Mum.

I know.

I know she worries about me.

I sort of worry about her too.

I guess we're the same like that.

- Don't move. - Sorry.

OK.

Right. Makes you look a bit more human.

Think I'm done.

What d'you think?

Yeah. It's good. Thanks.

So, come to me next time, yeah?

Really? You're gonna put a hat on freshly cut hair?

Yep.

Can I feel?

Ooh!

That's so weird.

Yeah, tell me about it.

OK, my lovelies. I'm gonna pack up the car.

You guys good to go?

Yeah, have you got my...? Oh, let me take that.

Have you got my pillow?

- I do have your pillow. - Decaf?

I finished the decaf.

- Essential oils? - Check.

OK. We need to get petrol on the way home.

- OK. - And I want some Skittles.

Come on, then.

- Jesus! - Don't hurt your back.

Do you have to bring so much stuff every year?

Uh-uh, no, Steve. This side. That's not your good side!

How many times? OK.

- Oh! - We're all in.

Ooh!

- OK. - Everybody say "sea".

Sea!

- Beautiful. Thank you. - Thank you.

No problem.

Send me that, Ape.

Oh, thank you. Thanks for such a lovely holiday.

Hey.

Hey.

Didn't hear you get up.

Sorry, I... I thought it... it would be easier.

I want you to have this.

Someone like you should always carry a whistle.

You never know, you could get lost in the jungle.

Thanks.

Maybe see you next summer?

Yeah.

They say things get better with time.

But I don't think that's true.

Cos time heals nothing.

It just replaces memories with new ones.