Original subtitles

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

Wait, wait.

You hear that?

Yeah.

Oh, what do we do now?

Same thing we did last time.

I's just one of them.

Just shoot him.

That could draw attention.

This?

Perfect.

I got this, Angel.

Hey, buddy.

Huh.

How you doin'?

Oh my God, Chad, no!

I got a better place for them bullets, doll.

You're alive!

I'll be right back.

Somebody get a shotgun!

Okay, this is what I want.

I want to add a close-upof Harper's jugular

getting ripped out.

Proper ripped out.

Like stringy sinewy viscera, like dare the dead type.

You've gotta be fuckin' kidding me.

Yeah, this is gonna work.

I'll just need a minute to reset it, alright?

Are you actually listening to a word I'm saying?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Red tape on the detonator means it's safe, alright?

Anyone can touch it.

But maybe don't let anyone touch it.

What's this?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't touch that.

Fine, but they weren't in the last room.

Yes, I know that, Jen, but we're talking about pickups.

No one's gonna know what room we're in

when there's blood sprayin' across the frame, are we?

- Just saying, is all. - Good.

Okay.

Can you hear that?

Yes, God, yes.

Nothin', but bounce, innit.

Tellin' you now.

We're in the wrong room for this.

Need a smaller room.

It's not that the same room we shot in last time, is it?

We work with what we're given.

Oh, piss off with that, Jen.

What the fuck are you doing?

The sound stinks in here!

It's too echoey.

I can't do much with this cheap sound kit, you know?

If you let me, I'd have somethin' decent.

Mate, stop bangin' on about rentin' equipment.

That stuff you've got there was perfectly fine

for making films 10 year ago, it's perfectly fine now.

It's ridiculous!

There's more bounce in here

than one of your fuckin' paychecks.

Oi!

- I'll give you that. - Oh.

No, good, though.

You know, all this archaic, obsolete, candy bar piece

of bullshit picks up with any clarity...

- What? - Is mobile interference.

That's bollocks for stacks.

It's shielded, isn't it?

The GoKit is.

Hey, mate,

what you on' about mobile signal?

There's fuck over there, you twat.

Yeah, there's no signal

and your phone's tryin' to find one,

so all I can hear is...

It's torture.

It's like listenin' to a 72 tin foil.

Mate, no one's sayin' much today anyway.

Then what the fuck am I doin' here?

Kim, I need coffee.

Plenty of coffee.

Bring it, bring it, bring it, bring it, come on.

Ian's been making noises for about half an hour now

and it's still cold.

They tried ice to make it warmer...

Fucki' hell!

- That is freezing. - You're so dramatic.

That's disgusting.

What the fuck you put in that?

I tell you what?

- That is... that is awful. - Well...

That is awful.

I've got some change.

If you've got some time, then I'll go and get you one.

That is the best thing you've said all day,

because, no offense,

if being called a "cunt" had a flavor,

it'd taste a lot like your coffee.

What the fuck?

Did you just knock that out of her hands?

Oh, come on, guys. I didn't do it on purpose!

No, no, he didn't do it on purpose.

Yeah, exactly!

And first off, this isn't a holiday,

we're here to do a job, yeah?

Yours is to bring a warm coffee,

you make shit look pretty and keep everything in focus,

which you are doin' and I applaud you for that.

And mate, shut the fuck up

and record what everyone else is sayin', alright?

Are you ready for me yet?

Donnie, wait your fuckin' turn.

I'm kiddin', I'm kiddin', mate.

I tell you what?

Can you help her with that?

She dropped something.

Great.

Ellie!

Your moral support is overwhelming.

Uh, I am outraged, but it's well,

not my department really, is it?

I can use the mechanism in this to make the severed hand twitch.

It's half already, yeah?

Um, oh, bollocks.

Um...

The thing about that is um,

look, it's gonna take a while to get this working better.

Can we get the hand shot last?

We can pop Harper up in the background

and it'll look great.

And it'll give him time to sober up, too.

I don't need him sober, I need him fucking ready.

Right.

This is what we're gonna do.

We're gonna shoot him second.

Yeah?

Jen, we're gonna do the effects shot later,

so get Donnie's shot first, yeah?

Yep, that's fine.

With these lights,

it's gonna be grainy as fuck anyway!

I'll go and make a start on him.

You mean he's here?

On time?

He's on time, yep.

And he's um, more sober than usual.

Fuck off.

Nope, I'm not.

Ugh!

Oh.

You've got one dot.

You should work with one dot, you useless piece of shit.

Right, I'm gonna start gettin' you ready then, Harper.

Hey, sugar t... face sugar face.

Sugar face!

- You're back. - Sit down please.

Hmm.

We really should talk, you know?

I love to talk.

Do you know that I did a film with Scott Atkins once?

He punched me in the face.

Yeah.

It was an accident.

It is one hell of a war story to tell, don't you think?

I told you never touch me again or I swear to God.

See this?

If I blast it in your eyes, it'll burn.

And if I mix it with some other stuff I've got,

it'll melt your face off.

Do you understand?

Don't test me.

Sit in the chair.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Sometimes I get so fuckin' lonely.

You couldn't have found me a Madbox.

Oh, fuck's sake.

I look like a tourist with this thing.

Ouch, it's cold, okay?

- Yep. - Okay, okay, okay.

Are we ready?

- Just a minute. - Okay, okay.

Yeah, it's... that was cold.

Okay, it's not the best shot in the world...

Well, it's an a7s, isn't it?

All you have to do is just turn the brightness up

bombastic thing.

You said you wanted to look like John Wick.

There's no grain in John Wick.

Yeah, there's no grain in John Wick.

Oh, fuck.

Right, can we just shoot something

and see what we end up with?

Is he fucking high?

I have a cold.

This Lemsip is awesome, by the way.

Let's just get this shot out of the way,

and then we can wrap on him, and that'll be that.

The faster you work, the faster he fucks off.

I've got a bit of a cold.

Shut the fuck up!

Fuckin' hell!

Ellie, get that fuckin' spritz ready.

Go on, roll. Now.

Unprofessional.

Hurry up.

Kim?

Yeah.

Have you got the slate ready?

I can't find the slate.

Word and clap?

Word and a clap's fine by me.

Yes, whatever. Come on.

Hurry up.

Rolling.

Speed.

Dawn of the Deadly, pickup scene 87.

Bastard's here, and take one.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.

It's a phone again.

A fuckin'... Someone's phone's...

- Again! - No, no, no, no.

- God? - Jesus Christ!

You are gonna give me a stomach ulcer. No.

Just switch 'em off or put 'em in airplane mode

or switch 'em off please!

Mine's off.

Mine's on airplane mode.

Mine's off.

Mmhmm.

Harper, is your phone off?

He keeps turning it on when we're not lookin'.

Right.

Everybody, put your phones in this box,

because it interferes with Frodo's cheap sound kit.

Now, come on, get it in.

Everybody.

Hey, yours too, come on.

Okay, now look at this antique.

Robocop called.

He wants his fuckin' dick back.

Kim.

Harper.

How're you, mate?

Um, you want to put your phone in the box, please?

What for?

There's no signal in this shithole anyway.

Yes, Harper, there's no signal

and your phone keeps tryin' to find one,

- so all I can hear is... - Now...

- Um... - Yeah.

Well, everyone's put the phone in the box.

I'm... I'm puttin' mine in.

Um, go on, do the same.

Well, if you want any more of that Lemsip,

you'll put your phone in the box.

It's on airplane mode.

I know, I know, I know, I know, I know.

Uh, come on.

Put it in.

Come on, mate.

Right, go on, get it out of here.

Don't just put 'em in the other room.

I want them as far away as possible.

In fact, Kim, don't even tell us where you're puttin' em.

No.

I actually wonder whether these cables

are causin' any interference.

Yeah, I mean they're everywhere.

Mm-mm, those are detonator cables

for the PE4.

Wait a minute, detonator cables?

Nothing's gonna happen until the mornin'.

You fuckin' kiddin' me?

Is this place rigged to blow up?

Look... uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

This... this is our last chance to film here, right?

and I've done us all a really good deal, right?

So we'll be sound till the mornin'.

And then... uh, and then... and then, we can grab a shot

of these things coming down in real life

and I have one epic finale.

These things?

Yeah.

The whole complex is coming down.

Oh!

Fuck right off.

I'm out of here.

- Sham, this is... - Mate, mate, mate, look.

Calm down, man!

It's not... it's not like TNT, it's totally safe!

Like, Ellie, tell him.

Yeah, it's totally safe.

It won't just explode.

You need detonators

and no one's gonna pop them until tomorrow, so you're safe.

totally safe.

See? Told you.

Does anyone know we're here?

Look, Donnie, this is guerilla filmmaking,

so please, all of you, stop bein' a bunch of pussies,

yeah?

We've got till sunrise before we're in trouble

and then when the sun's up...

We can't shoot anyway.

Exactly.

Fine.

Is it really safe?

- Yeah, completely. - Great.

Come on then. Chop, chop.

Let's get it going.

Jen, you can have a play until Kim's back.

Excellent. Alright, let's see...

What about this woman?

We strippin' her as well?

No, just this fuckin' piece of shit.

Get your fuckin' butt here.

Fuck!

Shit!

Fuck!

Your brother-in-law's back.

He's got 'em.

Them?

Yeah.

Oi, go easy!

He's not yours to fuck around with!

Oi, you lot, put him down.

I said, "Leave him alone."

Oi, Noodles, stop fuckin' around with him.

Fuck.

Oh yeah... oi, evening, brother.

Look what little fishes swam into my neck this evening, huh?

What the fuck is goin' on?

What the fuck is this?

- What? - What the fuck is this?

What did I say?

- What did I say? - You said...

What did I say?

You said, "Go and get Phil."

- And? - And... and...

- And? And what? - There were no ands.

You just said to go and get Phil.

Yeah? So what's she doin' here?

Oh yeah, she...

What's she fuckin' doin' here?

She in it with him?

No, I don't think so.

Then what's she fuckin' doing here?

Well, we... we followed him from the club

and she was with him,

and I saw him fuckin' fingerin' that slag.

So you didn't think to wait to get him alone?

You said it was time-sensitive.

I said we had till mornin'.

Does he strike you

as some sort of tantric all-nighter, does he?

Yeah.

No, of course not!

Look at the fuckin' state of him.

Of course not.

So you bring us a fucking witness,

'cause you can't wait 10 fuckin' seconds

for him to blow his fuckin' load

and show some fuckin' discretion like a fuckin' professional?

Give me your coat. Get your fuckin' coat off.

Get your fuckin' coat off.

Give me your fuckin' coat.

- I... - It's alright.

I don't...

I don't know him.

I just met him tonight.

Yeah, what's your name, love?

She... she's just somebody.

I'll get to you in a minute.

Gabi.

It's Gabi.

I don't know him, okay?

I just don't.

And I can see you...

You scare him and...

And you're exceptional.

But if it's okay with you, I'd like to leave,

and you can continue scaring him

just without me here.

And I'll... I'll keep going and... and will play along.

Okay.

Well, do you wanna play along for me now?

Yeah?

Okay, just close your eyes for us.

Close your eyes.

Yeah, good, good, good.

Now is there someone in your life that you love?

Someone who has a positive effect on you,

is there?

I want you to picture them.

Picture them.

Picture their biggest beaming glorious smile.

Just a absolutely lovelywonderful smile,

because you turned up and they're so happy to see you.

They can't believe it.

They are so...

Shoot, shoot, shoot.

Shoot me!

Shoot me!

- I'm still rolling. - Shoot me, shoot me, shoot me.

You can cut anytime you like yeah,

because this mic is bullet-protected.

Ellie, go. Co... come on, guys.

Shoot me.

Okay, set?

And action.

Shoot me, cunt!

I said not to move.

Duh.

I've got something in my eye.

- I said, "Don't move." - Get it out, get it out!

Uh, I've got something in my eye.

- Get it out. - I said, "Don't move."

Come on, hurry up, get it out!

Fuck's sake, come on!

- Come on. - Hang on.

What's the matter with y'all?

Fucking...

- I'm cutting. - Yeah.

Yeah, cut.

Just cut.

Sorry.

I didn't know it was live.

Red tape on the detonator means it's safe.

Red tape on the floor, on my arm, on the fuckin' moon,

the detonator's live.

You got it?

Alright.

Don't be sorry, please just be better.

Well, okay, it was only an accident.

Yeah, well, it's bloody dangerous.

No, no, no, no, no.

This is bullshit.

Drop the act.

You two did this on purpose

and she fucked up my hand earlier.

You did what?

Yeah?

He keeps trying to touch me.

Whoa, mate, you do not do that, man!

I've told you time and time again!

You do not. That is so uncool!

- That... - This is bullshit, yeah?

Night shoots on dusty floors,

squibs exploding next to my bollocks,

and she's threatened to melt my face off.

And look, rusty nail, green room.

This thing could give me fucking tetanus.

Well, alright, just calm down, yeah?

If we get this done, we can just go home,

and we can put this all behind us.

Um, guys.

It was... It was an accident.

Oh, it was an accident.

Oh, guys, I didn't... I didn't realize

It was an accident.

It was an accident, so let him go.

So let him go.

- It was an accident. - Uh, fuckin' joker.

It was an accident!

Oh, fuck off.

How do you accidentally get out your way

to burn someone to death?

I didn't know he was gonna be there, did I?

I didn't fuckin' know!

Yeah.

See, I do believe you.

Unfortunately, he was in there, wasn't he?

So you did burn him to death.

Eye for an eye, Philzy boy.

Eye for an eye.

Interesting fact.

When it comes to retribution,

eye for an eye is actually a plea for leniency.

See, we think of it today

more as like a sort of justification for revenge.

I lost an eye, I get to take an eye,

but back in the old days

when blood feud was all the rage,

people held grudges.

You couldn't take a shit

without someone wanting to murder your entire family

because of it.

So they came up with an eye for an eye,

an appropriate response.

You've lost an eye, only take an eye.

Don't take both eyes, the hands, the feet.

Don't burn nephews.

What do you mean?

I could, by right, burn your nephew to death.

That'd be fair.

I could burn everything, but where would that get us?

You will be a clear enough message to send.

This is why I'm burning you to death.

The worst bit about fire is surviving.

Living the rest of your life with no skin

or raw nerves and blisters lookin' like yesterday's kebab.

Months and months of unending and physical pain

until you can't take it anymore,

and the only thing left to you is to take your own life!

I would love to put you through that.

I really would.

Please don't.

But where would that get us?

Can't have your anger and pain festerin'

and turning into vengeance of your own.

This has to end tonight.

No!

So as bad as it's gonna get for you,

and it is gonna get pretty fucking bad,

take comfort in the fact that it will end.

Eventually.

That's uh, that's gun powder they're rubbin' on you.

Should flare up nicely when the flames hit you.

Won't kill you, but it will really fuckin' hurt.

And that cloth in your mouth,

that's to keep those pesky fumes out your lungs.

We don't want you passin' out

before your nerve endings overload with pain, now do we?

Probably should have held on to that, Philzy boy.

Could have put your foot out with it.

- Holy shit! - Oh!

He's on fucking fire, he's on fire!

Oh my God, dammit!

Calm down, please.

For fuck's sake!

Oh my...

Who the fuckin' fucked with those fuckin' plugs?

I don't understand, what're we supposed to do?

We need to move.

That's an a7s.

That's a really good camera.

If they saw any of that, boss, we could be in the shit.

Explain it to them.

Now, rush.

Right, boys, let's go!

Come on, guys, this way.

Let's go.

Jesus!

Go, y'all, go!

There's another stairwell down this way.

Go!

Quick, come on.

Up here, this way.

Come on. Come on, boys.

Through this floor we can takethe next stairwell.

- Shit. - Oh, no.

- Let's go, let's go.- HARPER: There's more of them.

Oh shit. Shit, oh shit.

Let's go, come on.

Fuck.

We got 'em!

They were here, into one of these rooms over here!

Get a light on in here!

No!

What the fuck?

It's a fucking demolition floor, you dickhead!

Fucking dynamite's over there!

I shot over there!

You, stupid bloody man!

- Wait! - Okay.

No one fucking shoots until we're off this floor.

Yes, boss.

I've got an idea.

But we need someone who can throw a punch.

Do not fucking fire on this floor.

Got it?

Just threaten them, dickhead.

I'm not a fuckin' dickhead.

You just can't get the fuckin' stuff these days.

There they are! Get them!

Donnie, get up here!

And punch fuckin', yeah.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, oh!

Oh, fuck.

What the... what the fuck?

Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa, fuck!

I said, "No fuckin' shooting", you dumb fucking cunt!

Harper!

Shit.

Go, come on, come on, come on.

Donnie!

Let's go!

Fuck you!

Fuck you! Fuck!

Get up, you fuckin' useless pricks!

Get up, you fickin' amateurs!

One fuckin' floor!

One... get the fuck up!

Oh!

Fuckin' no fingers on the trigger!

It's a demolition floor.

Move, you fuckin' cunt!

You, you fuck swine, go!

Get out of there.

Move!

Oh shit.

Okay, w're good.

- I just... I just... - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I just feel so... I'm so out of it right now.

- It's alright. - I just... uh.

- You'll be fine, okay? - I'm gonna be okay.

You're gonna be fine, yeah?

You're gonna be fine.

No, no, it's okay.

Hey, there's no need, come on.

Yeah?

Alright?

Slow down a second.

What's that?

Insurance.

Okay, so start getting some of this crap off the floor,

okay?

So... so I'm getti' some of this crap of the floor, okay?

Okay, but don't cut yourself with some glass.

Yeah, I need more, come, on, Kim.

Give me more, shove it in there.

Look, boss, I don't know where they are.

That's bullshit.

They must be around here somewhere.

I bet they've gone up.

No, no, no! No, no.

But they wouldn't have gone up.

They must have gone down!

Get down your side of the corridor, you cunt.

Fuck.

Oh fuck.

I don't know, you boys look like shit.

Proper fighti', eh?

You passed anyone on the way up?

Let's turn it on, okay, lads?

Someone slip away, did they?

Yeah, something like that.

Alright, let's go.

Come on, this way.

Down here.

Oh fuck.

You know, I can't handle this.

I think I've maybe one fight in my whole life.

It was a... a bully pickin' on me mate at school,

so bam, I gave him the old Yorkshire kiss.

What's a Yorkshire kiss?

Uh, I's a head butt.

I bet Jenny calls it "Toronto kiss".

Actually, I call it "a Montréal kiss", but hey.

I think I get it.

Oh God!

Oh God!

Fucking cut, fucking bleedi', fucking scars, too.

Look at that, I'm fuckin' bleeding.

Not one of them with all that shooting.

Are they armed?

Shit! Go after them!

And with what?

With...

With that, you cunt.

And you lot,

what the fuck is Chilemba teachin' you in karate class

if you can't beat up a bunch of fuckin' film students?

Yeah, I don't think they're students.

I'm not as good as Chilemba, but I've been to three classes.

So who the fuck

was doin' the fancy roundhouse kicks and shit?

Don't look at me, that's fuckin' racist.

- I... - Don't just assume, alright?

It's a fucking compliment!

It's not a compliment, that's even more racist!

And in my defense, before you have a pop,

I don't do Tuesdays, blocks on Tuesdays.

That's why I... so that's why I...

Yeah, I couldn't do Tuesdays...

I couldn't do Tuesdays either, I got the kids.

Shut the fuck up!

Who's got a gun?

Who's gonna come with bullets?

Who's got the biggest... you got the biggest gun?

Now, give that a pass.

You're on main entrance duty.

What the fuck for?

Because you are the guy that fucked up

when they ran down your side of fucking corridor,

you cunt!

Don't fuckin' break it, it's my uncle's fucking gun.

He's very protective of it.

He won it in a raffle.

Right, you lot, run the back!

Block the fuckin' fire exits.

No one leaves, no one escapes!

And if you see that fuckin' Kung Fu cunt,

then use your guns and look intimidating'!

Got it?

Especially, you cunt!

You fuckin' cunt!

Noodles.

Noodles.

What?

Go and tell the big man what's up.

Now who the fuck is that?

Now, I wanna get to know more about these fucking

new friends of ours, alright?

So one of you please tell me

that you can at least break into a fuckin' car!

Thank fuck for that.

I look like fuckin' Harry Potter with this fuckin' scar.

Guys.

Hey, do you know?

I got 1718 in that car.

Could be a bit of a celebration for rum.

I could drink it all myself.

Maybe you can have it all.

Cheers.

Right, let's find out who you little fuckers are.

Ah!

Fucking jackpot.

You're mine now, you little shits.

Oh, fuck, I wonder if they've got plaster as well.

Oh.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Perfect.

They're keeping an eye on the entrance.

They're also keeping an eye on all the fire escapes.

There's an elevator shaft, but no elevator.

Fuck that.

Well, my thought exactly.

There can't just be one stairwell.

Well, there isn't just one stairwell,

but there's only one that's actually functional.

I mean this building is derelict.

I... I'm no buildingologist,

but that's probably why they're blowing it up.

Look, there are plenty of places to hide.

All we have to do is keep our heads down

till the demolition crew arrives in the morning

and then boom...

Or not boom, if you like.

I very much prefer not boom.

Uh-oh.

What now?

Shit!

Uh.

Oh fuck.

Um...

I never got a permit to shoot.

I just heard that they were demolishin' the buildings

and we needed to get in fast, so uh...

Yeah.

Yeah.

No one knows we're here.

Well, fuck.

So now we've got to get out of here uh,

by what time did you say they're blowin' this place up?

We've got ages, mate.

You don't have to worry about that yet.

I... I do worry, actually, mate.

I worry about it a lot,

'cause we're here for fuck old money

and now we're gonna die for it.

We make cinema, you cunt!

If there's one art form worth dying for,

this is it!

What... what if they don't wanna kill us?

What if they just wanna chat us on it?

Oh yeah, that's what it is.

Just a language barrier,

because no one speaks fuckin' bullet, you dildo!

Grow up!

Did anyone see where Kim and Ellie went?

Harper.

You know, I can hear Kim and Harper.

He's still wearin' his radio mic.

Ask them if they can find a way out.

- It's not a phone. - Phones.

We can use us phones to call the po... fuck, shit.

No, we can't. Cause the signal here is shit.

Well, it's still worth a shot.

Where are the phones?

Bollocks!

Look, I still think we should go and look.

I mean they can't be more than what?

A few floors above where we were shooting

at the most.

Or a few floors below.

There's quite a few fuckin' floors.

I hate to be the we-should-split-up guy,

but we should split up and I should go with Donnie.

Well, I'm gonna listen to Kim and Harper.

I know it's not your department,

but many hands make light work.

No, you dickhead.

I'm tryin' to be practical.

Look, if Kim says where the phones are

and I'm not listenin', what is the point?

What do you think, Donnie?

You think we should split up?

Uh, guys, I'm not in charge here, alright?

I'm not cut out for it.

I'll do whatever you guys think.

Okay, well, it's more than likely

she took 'em at least one floor up,

so let's try there.

- Come on. - Fine, whatever.

Sorry, I called you a cunt.

So they're all still alive?

Apparently.

And we're all still alive.

Mmhmm.

Who the fuck even are they?

I've got... I've already got one strike

for like you know, just petty crime and that,

but this is somethin' completely fuckin' different.

If that camera was switched on

and it shows just one of our faces,

I could get in real fuckin' trouble.

The thing is their eyes were on.

They saw us!

So you need to go back in there and switch them off!

Definitely.

The fuck's O'Hara?

He's just checkin' 'em out for a bit more of information.

Do we even know how many they fuckin' are?

We do know.

Looks like there's seven of these pricks.

Fucki' hell. Put that out.

Bruh, there' petrol all over the place in here.

Go fuck yourself.

I got names, phone numbers,

could probably get their addresses, too,

if they managed to get away.

Yeah, fuckin' none of 'em get away.

Fuckin' hell.

Harper Partridge is in this.

I wanna get his autograph before we shoot that cunt.

I want Chilemba.

Not much of a phone signal in here, boss.

Well, find some and get him here!

Wait!

Tell him to bring more fuckin' bullets!

I'm already a step ahead of you.

- Dick. - What the fuck?

Fuckin' hell.

Hey, have a look at that guy up there.

He's got a signal.

Oh yeah.

The reception's shit in here,

but I reckon if we get up high enough,

we'll be able to catch a signal and just call the police.

Hmm, makes sense, don't it?

Now, all we have to do is find the phones.

We didn't find anything.

Any luck up here?

See for yourself.

Easy.

How many?

Seven.

It will be a long night while you put 'em all down,

but I can't have anyone, anyone escapin'.

And when you have racked up your body count of seven,

I need you to watch the doors, check for anyone extra,

then "kaboom"!

Not a problem, Mr. Tarker.

I need you to guard the doors.

Well, actually, I wouldn't mind watchin' Chilemba and his boys

at work.

Well, they don't need your fuckin' help

to go and take care of, Kung Fu cunt,

but I need you to guard the fuckin' doors!

Go watch the fuckin' doors.

Shit off!

Can I get some antiseptic wipes, 'cause this is going gangrene.

I wouldn't mind a fresh plaster that sticks properly,

but I'm makin' do!

Ugh, you know wha'd I like?

I'd like to not go to fuckin' prison,

cause my fuckin' crew

couldn't kill a bunch of fuckin' film students!

I don't think they're film students.

I don't fucking care!

Alright, having fun, enjoyin' yourself?

Not really, no.

No!

No, it's not as much fun as it's cracked out to be

all gangster and all, is it?

A bit fuckin' dangerous.

Dangerous?

There's fucking seven of 'em!

That's like two each!

The fuck is wrong with you?

Well, Kung Fu cunt's technically like three of them.

Well, I've just sent three to deal with him,

haven't I?

So that is literally two each!

Find 'em and fucking kill 'em!

Now!

Fucking hell!

Donnie, no, man, I've already been over those.

- In these? - Yeah.

Now look in that one.

What do you mean? No.

Th... th... there's a spider in there.

I don't care, mate.

I... I'm just bein' a... But you have to do it.

- Oh. - Okay.

Shit.

You're not sitting on those phones, are you?

No.

Okay, more delivery orders.

Shite.

No, look where I'm pointing.

I swear to God, I could murder one of them tinnies

right now.

You can have one as well if you behave.

Oh, thanks.

Five for me.

Okay, fuck you.

Fuck! Shit!

That guy just saw me.

Quick, they're comin'.

Quick, quick, quick, quick.

Find the phones.

Kim, Kim, Kim, Kim, come on, talk to me now.

Oh shit.

Barry, go take a look in the next floor.

Well, why don't we you take a look?

'Cause I said so!

Or do you wanna go back to the door, you cunt?

Noodles.

Noodles, go with him.

Yeah, alright.

Come on, come on, come on.

Where'd you put the phones?

Maybe we can get to them?

Good, yes!

They're talkin' about phones.

Seriously,

why am I the only person thinkin' about this?

Oh, the phone's not even workin' here anyway.

I had one dot.

You can send a text with one dot.

I can text someone.

Okay, that's a good point.

Thank you.

But the're miles away.

Well, then why don't we try findin' 'em

instead of fuckin' around here with toys?

Okay, well, I put them...

- They're coming! - Fuck.

Shit, fuck.

Hold on, now what was that?

Three of us?

Two of us.

Fuck!

Sounds like someone's coming for 'em.

- I'll go down. - No, we need you here, man.

I'll go help them.

Well, how will you find 'em?

They'll be in the room

with the torches and the bad guys.

I ask him to say where the phones are

for Oddbod to hear, right?

Easy.

Makes sense, yeah.

Just in case, take these.

Stats this one, two floors down.

That one, floor above.

Okay?

Another one in detection system.

Smarter than you look.

Yeah, yeah, go fuck yourself.

Okay, I'll be back.

Donnie.

If you get a chance, you're gonna find help.

No, I stay and help.

No, you are helping by going to get help,

are't you?

Fine.

Oh, we got one, bitches!

Look at the state of this guy.

That is fuckin' Harper Partridge.

Who?

The actor I was talkin' about, I wanted to get his autograph.

This might have been a real arsehole.

A really fuckin' good actor, eh.

Was a good actor.

Got the holes in his chest!

I reckon you did that, Barry.

Do you reckon?

Probably.

Great.

I'm havin' it, man.

What the fuck are you doin', Barry?

Uh, it's kinda like a trophy thing.

Well, you piss on 'em when you kill 'em?

Try to.

I think Harper's dead.

There's nothing we can do for him.

Let's keep movin'.

Your fuckin' DNA will be all over him now.

You can get DNA from piss?

I mean, you...

Yeah, I would have thought so, yeah.

Best torch him anyway I suppose.

Yeah.

Don't worry about it.

Building's comin' down in the morning.

Yes, but what if they find him?

The fabric of his clothes will be soaked

in your fuckin' spastic DNA.

CSI will take one look at that and go, "Oh yeah, that's Barry!

He's a notorious fucki' retard!"

Fuck!

But the petrol's all the way down there and all.

What's your fuckin' problem, mate?

I'll wait here for you.

Well, nobody's here anyway.

What's wrong with you?

For fuck's sake.

I don't know.

A fuckin' high one.

I'll be back.

That looks like a man.

Definitely matches the description.

Donnie sounds like he's in trouble.

You two, fuck him up, I'll find someone else.

Come, boy.

Should we go help?

I think he's leadin' 'em away.

You come back here, you karate kid.

- I think we should go help. - No.

No, no.

- We did okay last time. - No, no.

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

I think someone's comin' up the stairs.

- Is it Donnie? - No, I don't think so,

'cause he's not makin' any effort

to be light-footed.

Fuck, he's downstairs.

- He's running. - Shit.

Oh, fuckin' shit!

Twat.

I think we should go to the lower floor.

- What? - Down to the lio's den?

Away from the maniac runnin'...

- Runni'. - Runni' towards us.

What the fuck?

He's gone.

He's gone.

Are you sure?

Positive.

- Shit. - You said we were clear!

Fuckin' stay away from us!

- Yes, go on! - Go on.

It's just a cheap sound kit,

it's not a fuckin' Goomba detection system,

dickhead! Run!

Stop.

Oh, you... no.

Stop!

Stop it, don't fuck... do not do this, stop!

Wait.

I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry.

So sorry.

Don't know what I'm gonna tell her mom.

Chilemba, you in here?

We've gotta go.

We've gotta go.

Hey, we gotta... come on.

We've gotta fucking go.

I'm back.

Got it.

No fuckin' signal in here.

I do not know what kind of dystopian technocracy

we're living' in, Barry.

Right.

Is this enough?

Plenty.

Alright, soak that cunt.

Okay.

Lighter.

Be careful with that, that's my brother-in-law's.

Of course.

Piece of shit.

Hold the bit down.

Bit? What bit?

The fucking gas bit.

But there is no bit, it's a Zippo.

Oh, sweet.

There you go. Right, fuckin' torch it.

Goodbye, little man.

Please, don't burn me!

Huh?

Fuck.

Fuck.

Come here, guys.

Look in there.

Oh God, I stink of pissy petrol.

Shut up.

Now, I know that that's not Play-Doh.

They say PE4, but...

This is actually a geary charge.

Fuck's a garry charge?

Like a mix of different things, like really fuckin' dangerous.

Anything can set this off, a... a charge, a bullet.

I'm not sure these things are even fuckin' legal.

How do you know so much about blowin' up buildings?

I can use this to help us out.

I'm gonna need more detonators, they're in my kit

where we were shooting.

Right, okay, you go upstairs and meet them.

I'll see ya there.

So we're going up?

Phew.

Yep.

Uh...

What are you doing with that?

Milk and two sugars, please, sweetheart.

Come here, you little shit.

Fuck.

Fucking...

You little fucking shit!

Fuck!

Here's your milk and two sugars, you bellend.

That's fuckin' freezing!

Here. There you go.

There's two a few floors up.

One dead.

Oh, fuck ass got away.

I kill this one.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on, hang on.

The boss might have some questions for this one.

Oh, bollocks.

Right, Chilemba, find kung fu cunt.

Get Kev and Eddie searchin' the floor

you were just on.

Big man's telling me

to guard the doors and kill everyone.

So I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to be doing.

And you... you little shit, you're fucking coming with me.

You're a witch.

Move.

They've got Kim.

But they're saying someone's dead

Oddbod, if you're still listening,

I'm on the fifth floor.

They got Kim down, they want to get you.

You have to leave now, Oddbod, okay?

Fuck.

I can't fucking fight, I can't fucking fight.

Fuck!

- Wooh, oh! - Oh!

- Oh, it's you. - Oh, it's me.

- It's okay. - I thought someone's coming.

Nope, there's no one up here, it's fine.

W... w... where's Kim?

- We don't know. - Well, did you find the phones?

She went to find some explosives.

- We don't know. - Oddie?

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Oh my God.

Oddie, you alright?

Yeah.

I know.

Guys.

Your SIMOCODE is still transmitting.

Hey, guys.

Shit, they're comin'?

Hey, guys.

It's Donnie, he's alive.

Yes, fuck, Jesus, fuck.

They are coming upwards.

They're heading to fifth floor.

Listen, you need to hide.

Guys, they are coming.

They are coming.

What happened to your hand?

Yeah, it's fucked up.

Is that a geary charge?

Is that a microphone?

Holy shit.

Oh, fuck.

I think I found the phones.

Boss, O'Hara's got something for you.

Is that meant for me?

If you're not careful.

The explosion, I came.

Oh, you're alive.

You're alive.

Jen?

They won't let us leave.

We're gonna have to find a way out.

We may have to kill.

I could kill.

I really could.

You used to be part of the French special forces

before you became a stuntman.

I used to be an accountant.

Oh fuck, oh, I feel sick.

We're p...

We're pretty fucked, aren't we?

We've been lucky so far.

Most of us.

They're gonna come back in.

If I could set up some surprises for them.

What can you do?

My squibs can set off some of these geary explosives.

I've only got three of them.

Kim was tryin' to get me some more.

Could you...

Build me somethin' that I can throw at one of em?

There's one fuck.

He's a psycho, I can't get near him.

He's the one that killed Jen.

Okay, yeah, give me a minute.

I... I honestly thought I'd got him,

but he's like the fuckin' Terminator.

Are you okay settin' it up like Ellie said?

I hope so.

Alright, you fuckers!

I just wanted to have a chat.

But since you started killing my guys,

we're gonna have to have a talk!

Fuck!

I know there's still five of you in there.

So how about you all come out for a talk

or you can wait till my demolition crew turn up

and level the fucking thing?

Fuck.

Hey, I go.

No, I wanna try and turn 'em down.

If it goes pear-shaped, you can get 'em out.

We both go.

I'll come with you.

Hang back.

We'll get Kim out of there.

See if I can get this thing working.

Harper.

You still have some Lemsip, yeah?

Remember, don't get too close to the 11th floor.

Hide on the third floor.

Again, Oddbod, we find you.

Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.

No?

Nothing?

Fine!

Okay.

What happened?

What happened?

It was an accident.

Accident?

Well, you did this?

You fuckin' did this? You?

How can you do this?

What happened?

Some of your friends are already dead.

It doesn't have to be like this for everybody.

What happened?

Look at me.

Look at me.

Oh my God.

I can't get it in.

Ellie.

Oh God.

Just find... make something.

Okay, just shut up, okay?

Who was it?

Who did it?

It was Ellie.

Ellie?

Ellie?

The... the fuckin' dead girl?

Yeah.

Yeah.

The fuckin' dead girl.

The fuckin'... the fuckin'... the fuckin' dead girl?

The fuckin'... the fuckin' dead girl

killed my fuckin' brother-in-law.

The fuckin'... fuckin' dead girl,

a fuckin' slag, fuckin'...

Shoot that fuckin' cunt.

Oh!

Well, it's about fucking time!

Hey, just...

Just let it go.

Okay, I get it.

Kim, I fucked up.

No.

I fucked up real bad.

I never meant for any of this to happen.

And we just wanna go home.

So just let it go.

Kim.

Kim...

Come on, Kim.

Let's go, come on.

Come, forget it.

Oi, where you goin'?

Fun's just starting.

Nothing personal, kid.

Okay, I've done it.

It's... it's done.

- Shit, run! - Run!

Oh, run!

No!

Kim, come on!

Let's go.

Kim.

Fuckin'...

Get in there and kill those fucking cunts!

Louis, make sure don't fuck out this time.

And you, you see that martial artist?

Kill him fucking twice!

Louis, you go around the back.

The rest of you lot with me and don't fuck it up this time.

Keep up.

Alright, listen here, dickheads.

Stop fuckin' about.

We're gonna go up there, find these fucks,

and bust some fuckin' heads.

Yeah, let's go.

Come on.

Well, after you.

Come on.

Why the fuck am I leadin' the way?

Get up here, you lazy slugs!

Fuck's sake!

I broke this, if you can make it work.

Yeah, easy.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't now what's his fucking face

from that piece of shit film I once watched.

Kung fu cunt himself

and his pissy little tea-makin' sidekick.

Oh!

I think probably 11th just blew up.

I bloody noticed.

What the fuck.

Fuckin'... fuckin' twice.

Fuckin' twice!

Oh, I need a new fuckin' job.

I'm going back to selling cars.

We wait here.

Ellie and Oddbod, they're on their way.

I should have helped Marshall.

I'm sorry.

Ellie and Oddbod will come find us here.

We'll get Harper and I'll punch our way out.

Marshall's plan.

It's gonna be fine, we'll be fine.

So you're the one who killed Jen.

I got something for you.

And what's that?

Come on.

What have you got for me?

A French kiss, you motherfucker.

Sneaky, motherfuckers.

Hello.

At least, something can go right, eh?

I can see it now, your gravestone.

I'll have it read, "She didn't stand a chance."

Yeah, but I'll, to organize, that

may implicate me a little bit, but oh, who gives a shit?

It's all about posterity, isn't it?

Shit, mate.

You're about to be buried under 100 metric tonnes

of shitty building rubble.

That's fuck all you can do about it.

But don't worry, I'll do a little prayer for you.

Fuck!

God, fuck!

Oh f...

Jesus Christ!

You, alright?

Yeah.

Hey, you alright, Kim.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Where's Donnie?

Where's Donnie?

Where is he?

Come on, tough guy.

Get up.

I said, "Get up, tough guy."

Hey!

Oddie, we've got to go.

Come on.

I can't, I'm sorry.

I can't leave, Jen.

Not like this.

They uh... actually, I'm gonna... I'm gonna go back and get her,

so um...

You're gonna carry her over that wrist?

I'll be fine.

I'll come with you.

Me, too.

I'll go get Marshall.

Yeah.

Harper, come help me move him.

Oddie, someone's comin' up.

They've got a gun.

It's not working.

Oh, you bastards, let's be havin' you.

Your kung fu sucks.

Got your names, got your numbers.

Game's not over, cunts.

Oh, schoolboy error.

She's in, they're in, go.

Shut it, let's go.

Come on, go, go, go.

Bollocks.

Jesus.

Provided by explosiveskull https://twitter.com/kaboomskull