Original subtitles

(honks horn)

Moles are getting bigger every year.

I'd not like to meet one on a dark night.

- Oh, she's a fine cow, Molly. - Aye.

- How long has she been like this? - I don't know, Mr Herriot.

I only saw her about an hour ago, then I walked her in here.

- Difficult to move? - Well, she wasn't too keen.

(low mooing)

Yeah, she's bloated.

I won't waste any more time. I'll use the cannula.

Right.

Right you are. Right. Hold him there.

Aye, I've heard some stories about you and bulls, Mr Farnon.

Earned your money once or twice, I've heard.

Let's just concentrate on your bull, Mr Grimsdale, for the moment.

You won't want to pay me to stand here reminiscing.

Oh, I won't. You'll have no trouble with this bull.

Always liked you, he has.

Probably because he doesn't have to pay the bills.

I can handle your bull all right, Mr Grimsdale,

but an examination is always easier if he's held.

Let's have a look.

(bull bellows)

Hey, he don't think much of that.

No, I don't suppose he does.

Well, if you'll give him something for it.

I'm afraid not, Mr Grimsdale, because I think what's happened is

your bull has swallowed something - a bit of wire, a nail, something of that order -

and he has a traumatic reticulitis and he's going to need an operation.

Nay, I don't think so.

Is he chewing his cud?

I'm pretty sure of the diagnosis, Mr Grimsdale,

and I think that surgery is the only possible treatment.

He's not eating right well.

That's hardly a reason to shell out cash opening him up.

The wire, or whatever it is, has to be removed.

If it isn't, it'll make its way to his heart and then you'll lose the beast. You know that.

You're talking about a lot of money.

It'll be a great deal more to buy a new bull.

Aye, but if it's not what you say, I'll be throwing good brass away.

Mr Grimsdale.

Just look at him and listen to me.

Let's first of all try and make him more comfortable. Let's get him into the stall.

- Well, what do you think? - I think I'd like to hoover in here.

Yes, sorry. It's quite something, all this.

High technology meets veterinary science.

Give Siegfried something to think about. Of course, I'll need a car battery.

Yes. If I could just get on with the hoovering…

Oh, sorry. You're busy, Mrs A.

If you're discussing modern technology, put in a word about vacuum cleaners.

Vacuum cleaners?

They've come a long way since this one was made. A very long way.

Well, I'll leave you to it, Mrs A.

(vacuum cleanerswitches on)

Yes… My hope is that building him up like that

will delay the passage of the wire to the heart.

If you're right. And even if you are, it might well settle down.

I strongly recommend an operation.

It's perfectly straightforward. There's no sign of pericarditis at the moment, but if…

But if you open him up, I've got to pay whether there's owt there or not.

- We'll wait a bit, I reckon. - It's sound advice, Mr Grimsdale.

We'll see.

Hey, he's looking happier already.

Always cheers up seeing you, Mr Farnon.

As you wish, Mr Grimsdale.

Bye, Mr Grimsdale.

(engine rattles)

(car won't start)

Doesn't sound too healthy, that, Mr Farnon.

Perhaps it could do with a bit of surgery, eh? (chuckles)

(whistles a tune)

Hard work, that, eh? (chuckles)

(engine starts)

There we are, Mr Grimsdale.

Tell Bill to keep her on hay for a couple of days, then she can go back out.

- You're coming again? - Mm. Towards the end of the week.

But she's looking fit enough.

If Bill's worried about her…

I'd better stop saying that. It's down to your son now.

Well, I hope it will be.

If Bill thinks he's going to play at being retired,

he'll see a side of me he's not seen in years.

Letting go of the reins - it was never going to be easy.

No, I know that.

Bill and Peter arguing about Friesians and shorthorns till the early hours.

Oh, well. You know those two.

But preparations for the feast are going ahead like nobody's business.

It'll be the sort of do we used to have.

A real celebration. Of course, you'll not remember, yourself.

I would love to be able to say you're right, but I've been in Darrowby a long time.

You're nowt but a youngster. I'm going back before the First War.

When we had a do then, by God, we had a do.

You'd not need to eat for a fortnight.

Well, that's the sort of feast I want for Bill's retirement.

You'll be able to come, you and Mrs Herriot?

We'd be very honoured to be asked.

Oh, you'll be asked, all right.

As to being honoured, you'll have to judge for yourself.

(door opens)

I thought it were your car. I'm glad you're here.

Hello, Peter.

Hello, Bill.

What's Mr Herriot here for?

There were a cow down with bloat. She were bad, Bill.

You can do better than have your mother call the vet in behind my back.

- Oh, Bill. - Don't be so daft, Dad.

Aye, daft. That'll be it.

I've never been one to waste your time, Mr Herriot, and I'll not start now.

I don't mean to be inhospitable, but if you'll excuse me.

I'm sorry, Mr Herriot, but we've a few problems.

And something's happened that, uh…

- I take it it's not about bloat. - (Peter) No.

Dad wants to pretend it'll all go away. I don't think it will.

I were going to call you in, but Dad, uh…

Well, you know. It's a difficult time for him.

You'd best come and see.

Right.

Well, I'll just, um…

- You've taken the lad's side, then. - I've taken no one's side, love.

There were a cow poorly and no one here.

What should I have done? You can't just walk away from it.

Nay, not when it's easier to play into Peter's hands.

He can't wait to see me out of here.

(door closes)

(cranks engine)

(engine starts)

We've already had one cow slaughtered cos it were going this way.

Dad thought: out of sight, out of mind.

But I knew it were wrong.

Not much doubt about that.

(cow moos)

(cow screeches)

I need a dung sample.

(door opens)

- Siegfried? - Ah, James!

- If you've got time for a beer, so have l. - No, James, l…

Hello, Bob. George.

- Afternoon, Mr Herriot. What'll it be? - Half a pint and a ham sandwich.

Thanks. Siegfried?

No, no more for me, thank you, James. I've got a busy afternoon.

Just a half, please.

Bob, you're getting a bit low.

Oh, aye. It is getting far down, right enough. I reckon I could manage a…

- Pint? - Thanks.

Hello, Gem. How are you?

Getting on a bit, same as us all.

Ten come next Easter.

Still more active than I'll ever be.

- A few good years in her yet. - Oh, aye, aye.

You'll be up to see them ewes of mine this afternoon?

Yes. First on the list.

Thanks, George.

How was your morning?

Oh, well, apart from old Grimsdale,

who's all set on losing that Hereford bull of his simply because he will not believe

that I know when a beast has got traumatic reticulitis.

"Let's see what happens by doing nothing at all."

- By spending nothing at all. - I was up at Prospect Farm.

Oh, were you? How go the preparations for Bill Shadwell's feast?

- Time we were getting invitations, isn't it? - Oh, they're on their way, I'm sure.

- Not a very festive mood up there. - Oh?

Molly called me out to a bloated cow. That was all right.

Then Peter and Bill arrived back and I was in the middle of a family row.

Bill thinks that Peter and Molly called me in behind his back.

I'm lost, James.

It's about his retirement and Peter's plans for the herd.

Oh, the Friesians. He's going ahead, is he?

I don't think there'll be shorthorns up there for many more years.

- But what's the immediate problem? - A very sick cow.

And not the first to show the symptoms, apparently.

Bill just doesn't want to face what's wrong, I suppose.

Well, I've got to take some dung samples, but there's not much doubt.

- Johne's disease? - Mm.

Not a lot to celebrate, is it?

It's perfectly simple, Helen. You switch it on…

and there you are.

It sees what you can't see.

- Here, have a go. - I know what it does.

- Oh, go on. - All right. Astound me.

Now, I'll hide this scalpel about my person.

Now, this is the business end, the detector. Just run it over my jacket.

(detector whines)

- Well? - I see. Yes.

So this tells me when a vet's got a scalpel in his pocket. It's fascinating.

You can see the possibilities, though?

I can see you telling Siegfried how much it cost.

Considering its value in tracing objects, I don't think he'll object.

Lower Hall Farm on the phone - a cow with a calf bed out.

Righty-ho, Mrs A. Excuse me.

- Mrs Herriot, I wonder… - Hm?

Well, I was wondering if you'd ever found Mr Farnon -

Mr Siegfried, that is -

well, when it comes to the question of household expenditure…

That he suddenly had a hundred other things to talk about

and a dozen urgent appointments that he'd suddenly remembered?

They'll lose an awful lot of money when they come to sell the herd.

They can't keep it a secret.

Peter knows that. So does Bill, when he's thinking straight.

30 years of his life, you know.

Mr Herriot. You'll be up shortly, then?

Yes, I'll pop in on my way back. About an hour?

Oh, aye. Well, you'll have to give me time to get up there.

- Mr Farnon. - Goodbye, Bob.

Where are you, Gem?

(winces and struggles)

I'll try and persuade him to enter the slow-bicycle race at this year's gala.

He's a natural.

I wouldn't rush your next call, James.

(honks horn)

(engine rattles)

(car won't start)

Not such a bad afternoon.

- Could be worse. - Aye. Aye, yeah.

Folk never want to forget that.

Shall we have a look at your ewes, then?

That brother of mine. All he thinks is how the bullocks are doing, never the sheep.

- Hello, Mr Herriot. - Hello, Adam.

- Bullocks. - Are you still complaining?

I could complain me sen if I counted the hours he spent at that pub.

Not as I do.

Ewes?

I brought 'em in this morning. He let 'em out.

They got out. And they got out

because you've been meaning to mend the gate for the last three months.

You can't rely on a man who never touches a drop of drink,

not even your own brother.

They'll be on the fell by now.

Aye. Well, I've got my own work to do.

- Good day, Mr Herriot. - Adam.

I can always come back another time.

They'll have not got far. We'll soon catch up with them.

- Look, Bob, I haven't got very long. - Oh, aye.

Well, we'll not waste time walking then, eh? You hold on.

(hums a tune)

But the blessed thing was only serviced… Can't be more than a year.

Things do wear out, you know, Mr Farnon.

Yes, I know, Mrs Alton, but should they? That's the point.

I mean, if they're properly made and properly maintained.

Think of the money this practice pours into that garage.

Nowadays, you know, a car is as essential a part of a vet's equipment

as his antibiotics or his stethoscope.

We all need good equipment if we're going to get the job done right.

Exactly.

I can see, if this goes on, that car is going to have to be replaced.

Yes, and it's the same with the vacuum cleaner.

It's so old now, it's spreading more dust than it's picking up.

Oh, Mrs Alton, it is marvellous to have found you, you know.

You keep the place so spick-and-span. But you needn't worry yourself so much.

Skeldale's like a new pin under your regime. New pin!

Not far now, Mr Herriot.

- We're not paying this. - It's not a lot of money.

Any money this practice is asked to pay unnecessarily is a great deal of money.

It's a vital piece of equipment.

Tristan, I do not need an army-surplus metal detector

to help me diagnose traumatic reticulitis, much less pericarditis.

This afternoon I diagnosed a bull with a wire without the assistance of any engine

and you would've come to the same conclusion.

It gives us confirmation, though.

What it gives us is a totally indiscriminate statement

about the presence of any metal foreign object,

including nuts and bolts that may be lying about doing nobody any harm at all.

- Well, I think it could help us. - This practice is not made of money.

I mean to say, I am driving around in a motorcar

which needs a great deal of money spent on a rebore or some such thing.

What do I do? I put up with the inconvenience

for the sake of the practice and my partners.

There's poor Mrs Alton doing her best to keep this house in a proper manner,

and is there enough money for a new vacuum cleaner?

- No, there is not. - Vacuum cleaner?

Exactly.

Did anything more significant than that come by this morning's post?

My invitation to Bill Shadwell's do. Should be something to look forward to.

- Perhaps mine's here. - There wasn't anything for you.

It must be at home.

- Bob… - Not much further.

Must have been feeling frisky.

Johne's disease. There's no doubt about it.

- Still, it's what they were both expecting. - Doesn't make it any easier, though.

- Nope. - Argh!

- What on earth's the matter with you? - Nothing.

Seems to be rather a painful sort of nothing, James.

Putting rarely used muscles into close contact with one of Bob's ponies

for a little bit longer than I should've done.

His sheep had got back on the fell. "Only about ten minutes." That's what he said.

Fitness, James. How often have you heard me exclaim on the importance of fitness?

And what better way to keep fit than to ride out?

Exercise, fresh air, the exhilaration of speed,

the precision and strength of a fine animal moving beneath you,

a wonderful sense of freedom, James.

I have nothing to say, Siegfried,

except there was very little exhilaration on Leck Fell this afternoon.

If you'll excuse me, I shall go home and ache.

My dear James, I'm the very last person in the world

to find amusement in your discomfort.

- Would you like me to drive you home? - That's enough, Siegfried.

- Argh! - It can't hurt everywhere.

- It does, believe me. - It only goes to show…

How unfit I am? You sound like Siegfried. I thought you'd give me more sympathy.

I always did go for the nine-stone-weakling type.

Thank you very much!

What do you mean, "always"? Who were the others?

Ooh!

- Have you spoken to the Shadwells? - Siegfried's going this evening.

- It's not really a telephone job, is it? - No. It'll cast a shadow over the feast.

Well, they're determined to go ahead with it. They sent the invitations out.

Uh, yes. Ours arrived this morning.

Oh.

I don't think it's quite what you're expecting, though.

It's going to be an odd do.

Hm.

Oh, my God. So that's what Molly meant.

I knew how awkward you'd feel about making a speech.

It made me laugh this morning.

Well, it doesn't seem so funny now, though.

It's obviously been on the farm for some years.

You know as well as I do there's no real way of treating it.

It's a question of controlling it,

of minimising the spread of the disease and, um…

eradicating it in time.

I suggest we think in terms of vaccinating the herd.

Of course, that does affect tuberculin testing,

so we'd have to contact the Ministry of Agriculture first.

And for the rest, it's just good husbandry, and it will take time.

- And it'll cost us dear. - Well, you wanted to write off the herd.

There won't be a lot standing in your way once word gets out.

Dad, please.

(door opens)

- (Siegfried) Hello, Joanna. - What is it, love?

I couldn't sleep, Mum. I heard everyone talking.

Come on. Back to bed with you.

We can go through it all tomorrow, of course.

I just thought that I ought to…

I am very sorry. I wanted to come up here and tell you myself.

I appreciate your coming, Mr Farnon.

You've looked after the Prospect herd for a lot of years.

It's a blow that's hard to take, but… not for us all.

- Dad, that's not fair. - Isn't it?

What Molly and me's built up is worth nowt for the future,

Johne's disease or not.

Good night to you, Mr Farnon. I'm grateful for your trouble.

I'm sorry, Mr Farnon. It's not an easy time.

No, I think I understand, Mrs Shadwell.

James tells me you're still determined to move into Friesians.

As soon as I can. You'll go a long way to find finer shorthorns than ours, I know,

but the Friesian is the cow for the future, even up here.

We've got to change. We've waited too long already.

But it's no help to us this way.

No help at all.

- You've all had enough of me, I reckon. - Oh, we have, have we?

Ah, he doesn't understand.

After all these years. Didn't we build this for him?

Did we?

- I'm not so sure. - Well, for what, then?

Maybe for each other, Bill.

Remember the first year we were here, that second summer?

We had ten cows then. We lost two with bracken poisoning.

Such a hot, bright summer, it were.

- Till it came to making hay. - (sighs) I remember.

We owed money everywhere.

We'd nowt to buy in feed.

When that little bit of precious hay were laid out,

we saw the rain coming down from the tops towards us.

We worked day and night to bring that in.

Just you and me, Molly. No one to help us.

And we did it. Nearly all of it.

I can see your hands that morning.

The rain drenched us through and your hands were covered in blood.

- They healed. - I cried that day.

I walked away and I thought of your hands.

And I thought, "If there's ever a day I'm happier or prouder than this,

I'll be very lucky."

- I'm getting soft. - Aye.

Well, there were another day I was just as happy.

The day our Peter were born.

Why, though? Why does he have to destroy all this?

We took our chances, love, together.

Well, it's the same for Peter and Louise.

I can't stop him, can I? He'll break up the herd. He'll bring his bloody Friesians in.

But you are going to stop fighting him because you are retiring.

I don't want to fight him, but it hurts me, Molly. It's very hard.

And now this disease.

- They're not making it easy for me. - Nor for Peter.

How can I stand in front of the people in this dale with a glass in my hand and say,

"Cheers! Here's to the 30 years we spent creating the Prospect herd."

"It were a waste of time."

Nowt we ever did together were a waste of mytime, Bill Shadwell.

Nowt.

(door opens)

Hello, George.

- How are you? - Not too bad, thanks.

- Pint, is it? - Just a half, please.

- Hello, Bob. - Good afternoon, Mr Herriot.

I have to say, it took me two weeks to get over riding the reins with you.

Thanks.

No Gem today?

Nay. I couldn't bring her.

Is she all right?

She's got cancer.

There's a growth been coming on a while now.

- Why didn't you tell me? - You'd have her put down.

- I don't want her put down yet. - Every growth is not malignant.

It's a bloody big 'un. It's like a cricket ball.

- Where is it? - Under the belly, hanging right down.

Right.

- I'll have a look at her. - I don't want her put down.

Neither do l, Bob, but I don't want her in any pain either. Come on.

I told you he'd be fine. You veterinaries don't like being taken over by us farmers.

I haven't revised my diagnosis, Mr Grimsdale.

You should've followed my advice and kept him in the stall, wrapped up.

You'll not go down without a fight, will you, Farnon?

Your bull's still at risk, Mr Grimsdale.

Aye, but not my wallet.

He's as right as rain.

He's still got a soft spot for you, Mr Farnon.

Have you got your invitation to old Shadwell's do yet?

- I, uh… - It'll be a right good do, and nowt to pay.

Mr Herriot's speaking, eh?

- So I gather. - (engine rattles)

Not getting any better, that.

Mr Grimsdale, no starting handle is going to get your bull going

if that wire reaches his heart.

See, I can get my fingers right behind it. It's just a small mammary tumour.

More than likely benign.

I can easily remove it, with every chance of complete recovery.

Come on.

You see what he's like, Mr Herriot?

I've been telling him to come to see you for weeks.

I've lost patience with him.

Come on, Bob. Bring her down to the surgery. You can't leave her like this.

Well, when?

- I'll let you know. - He'll not say cos he'll not do it.

He's made up his mind Gem will die, and that's that.

I can mend her, have her back in the George before you can turn round.

His trouble is he's spent too much time at the George. It's addled his brains.

If you take her down to the surgery, I know she'll not come back.

- When did she last eat? - Not since last night.

She's off her food and all.

Right. I'll sedate her and give her a local anaesthetic.

I'll just see what I've got in the car.

Adam, get some disinfectant, scrub this table really clean and boil some water.

Bob, I'll do the operation now.

(running water)

(vacuum cleanerrunning)

Oh, Helen. I am glad to see you here.

Um… I hope those are going out this afternoon.

- One condition. - What?

Talk to James about his speech for the Shadwell do.

Everyone seems fed up at Prospect Farm. He's got no idea what to say.

No more have l, Helen. Yes, yes. Of course I will.

- Has the second post been? - Yes, yes. I think so.

- Oh! Drat the thing! - (vacuum cleaner's power fades)

(clears throat)

- I still can't get him to talk about it. - He's not in the best of moods.

Well, action will have to speak louder than words.

- Mrs Herriot? - Needs must, Mrs Alton.

Siegfried, Mrs Alton's having awful trouble.

I can't get it to go. Maybe if you…

That's curious. It seemed to be working perfectly well earlier this morning.

Oh.

Probably just a loose connection.

(switches on)

Oh, dear. What a pity. It's given such good service for so long.

(sneezes)

She looks better already. Peaceful, like.

- She'll need looking after for a while. - Aye, I know.

Well, I could do with a cup of tea. Mr Herriot?

- I'd better be off, thanks. - I know what I could do with.

I don't know when I've worked harder for a beer than I have this afternoon.

(hums)

It's a bit early, but I think it's under control.

We've been working night and day. If this farm's not clean, it's as near as dammit.

If it was that easy…

I know. With Johne's disease, you've got a friend for life.

We got permission from the ministry to vaccinate.

Important for the new stock. When are you bringing in the Friesians?

- The week after next. - Keep them off the pasture. It's too soon.

Like I said, we've got to look forward.

We've got to buy in and we've got to start grading up, straightaway.

- Hello. - Hello, Mr Herriot.

- So how's your dad? - Oh, he's still licking his wounds.

I've seen to it he's been too busy to worry about it.

I never did thank you for asking me to propose that toast tonight.

No, you never did.

By the way, we never did get a reply from Mr Farnon. Will he be here?

Oh, he wouldn't miss it for the world.

- Now then, Bob. - Mr Farnon.

Hello, little thing.

- Good as new, huh? - Aye.

Mr Herriot did a grand job. It's not the sort of thing I'd like to see again, though.

So, what is it this time, Bob?

It's my brother's bullocks. Mange, he said. Lice, I reckon.

Course he'd have to reckon summat else.

He's gone off and left them down in the bottom pasture.

Gone into Darrowby to have his suit cleaned.

It's Shadwell's feast.

Oh, yes. Of course.

Are you looking forward to it, Mr Farnon?

(evasive laugh) Uh… Well, why don't we go and have a look at these beasts?

Aye, well, we'll have to ride, if you don't mind?

They're down Hartwith Lane. It's muddy there. You'll not get down in the car.

Right. Well, that could be very pleasant.

Point me at my steed. Just the thing to blow the cobwebs away.

It's my brother's bike. It's a rough ride, but you'll not notice once you get going.

- Ah, thank you, James. - You did reply to the Shadwells?

What? Well, um…

You did get their invitation?

Um…

You didn't get their invitation.

Well, I thought it was probably some kind of mistake, James, but…

Come on, Siegfried. You've known Bill since before I came to Darrowby.

How could you possibly imagine…

Foolish it may be, but I did begin to imagine

that, because I was the one who actually took the bad news up there, perhaps…

Siegfried…

Ah, that reminds me. You've got rather a tricky task on hand tonight, haven't you?

I have indeed.

I've been giving some thought to how you might approach the question of the toast.

Ah. Thanks a lot.

Ah, lunch.

What's the matter?

Well, to be frank with you, James, I've been up at Old Farm.

- Sheep? - Bullocks.

Siegfried, what happened to all that joy of the saddle?

All that fitness?

Don't be silly, James. The horse hasn't yet been foaled that I can't cope with.

But have you ever tried to ride Bob Stockdale's brother's bike?

You look smashing, love.

- And you are going to enjoy yourself. - I'll do as I'm told.

Aye, you will that.

Come on.

- All well, Mr Grimsdale? - Aye, very well.

Especially since I got the better of your brother over my bull.

- Here's to him. - (Helen) They're here.

(chatter)

- (woman) Shh. - (chatter dies down)

(clears throat)

First of all, I'd like to thank you all for coming.

I've not got a lot to say, so you've no need to panic about that.

This is all, is to say thank you.

Bill and Molly made this farm. I know that.

It took a lot of years, and it took a lot more than years. I know that and all.

Now, the Prospect herd is known all over the North of England.

There's not a finer strain of dairy shorthorn I know of.

And that's what Bill Shadwell made at Prospect Farm.

(clapping)

Well, uh… times change.

You'll know, some of you, that I'm going over to Friesians,

and that's not something Dad and me have seen eye to eye over.

But there's other things don't change.

There may be another Prospect herd,

but it won't just be any herd.

Not with Bill Shadwell's teaching behind me.

(all murmuragreement)

If I live to be half the dairy farmer my dad was, I'll be a proud man.

But I know I'll never fill his shoes.

There's not a better farmer, nor a finer man in this dale.

- Thanks, Dad. - (applause)

(applause drowns speech)

Mr Herriot…

Can we have a bit of quiet, please, for Mr Herriot?

Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking…

I, um…

It is a very great honour to be asked to propose this toast.

I came to the Dales a lot…

I came to the Dales a lot of years ago

and, as soon as I arrived, I felt that I was among friends.

And so I stayed.

And I married here.

And if ever I needed a reminder of why I love this part of Yorkshire,

I wouldn't have to look much further than tonight.

We're meant to be here to drink to Bill and Molly's retirement,

but I think, with Peter's plans, he's going to need someone to give him guidance

when it comes to choosing new stock, don't you agree?

So I ask you to raise your glasses…

to Bill and Molly Shadwell, to everything that Prospect Farm is

and to everything that it's going to be.

(all) Bill and Molly.

(popularband music)

- There's nowt wrong with my bull. - Mr Grimsdale,

if Siegfried says there is a foreign object of a dangerous and metallic nature

in the reticulum of your Hereford, let me assure you, there is.

- You lot never admit you're wrong. - (Bob) You can't say Mr Farnon's wrong.

I can and I do. I certainly do.

- He's right and I can prove it. - Well, your brother couldn't.

If I can prove there's a metal object in the bull's stomach without question,

will you agree to an operation on said beast?

Come on, then. Put your money where your mouth is.

Right. When?

Give me half an hour. Mr Grimsdale's establishment, then.

Now?

I know that dawn is the traditional hour for these affairs of honour,

but I'd never get up in time.

Right.

Half an hour, then.

Gentlemen.

- Where's he gone? - The farm, I suppose. Like bats out of hell.

- He didn't say anything? - Some problem with Grimsdale's bull.

Dammit. I suppose I'd better get over there. Right, James.

It's a wonderful vacuum cleaner. I can clean the whole of Skeldale in no time.

He's coming. I intend to try the same trick on James.

- Hello, darling. - Hello.

A nail. Common or garden.

Now, I will place this nail in the vicinity of the detector, like so.

- (detector whines) - (Grimsdale winces)

You'll register the effect, Mr Grimsdale?

Now we will place the apparatus in close proximity to the bull's reticulum,

or second stomach.

I predict a similar effect.

(detector whines)

By heck, you're right!

Quod erat demonstrandum.

Is there any more beer?

I know what you mean, Mr Farnon.

We'd best see about the operation.

(Tristan) There you are. Go and have a listen.

We haven't paid for that thing yet, have we?

No.

Well, I suppose you can't really send it back now it's been used.

Not really.

Since we've got it, I think I ought to know how it works.

That's odd. There's a letter here for me.

Oh, that is odd.

It's very odd indeed. It's my invitation to Bill Shadwell's feast.

You won't go far wrong if they're all like this.

Mind you, I don't know what your father's going to make of it.

When you're ready, James.

Cows like these are going to make our Friesians the best herd in North Riding.

It'll take time though, of course.

Aye, that's a beautiful pair of cows, by heck. What do you reckon?

How goes it, Bill?

Nowhere near the class of a good shorthorn, but they'll milk well enough.

- How are things, Mr Grimsdale? - I can't keep that bull of mine in.

Ever since that operation, he's been nowt but trouble.

He's been at my neighbour's beasts twice in the last week.

He's gone again now, and if I get hold of him today,

I'll be putting a few foreign objects back inside him!

Come on, Ken.

(engine rattles)

Don't you think we should pawn the instruments and treat you to a service?

Yes, I think so, James.

Siegfried.

Siegfried.

(bull bellows)

- Well, Grimsdale's right about one thing. - What's that, James?

He does like you, Siegfried.

(chuckling) Oh, God!