All language subtitles for 02 - Knowin How to Do It_eng

Goodbye, Mrs Stubbs.
Thank you, Mr Stubbs. It'll keep us going.

- Hello.
- Mr Herriot!

Sorry. Sorry.

- Would you like a hand, Mr Herriot?
- I can manage. Let me let you pass.

Uh, you want to be careful
to get those mortises squared.

What?

Untold trouble if you don't.
It will wobble.

They're dovetails, Tris.
When have you ever made anything?

Wouldn't presume to.
Go to the professionals is my advice.

Thanks.
Now, if you've nothing better to do…

- You're making this for Helen's birthday?
- Yes.

- March 14?
- Yes.

- This year?
- Yes!

Get her a backup present,
just in case.

It'll be finished on time!

Hm. For her to pick up her pension.

Mr Edwards on Market Street
is an excellent joiner.

Good morning, Mrs A.

There is someone
in the waiting room.

Just making sure
we're not at war with anyone.

I'm deadly serious, Mrs A.

It's vital we vets
keep abreast of the times.

To some of our more remote clients,
we provide a truly social service.

A chance to indulge in intelligent social
intercourse denied them by their isolation.

I think you mean
you'd rather talk than work, Mr Tristan.

Page 15.

- It's me Dilly, Mr Herriot.
- Your what?

- (phone rings)
- Ah. Phone.

Come on, Dilly.
There we are. Come on.

He's fallen out behind.

Yes. Can you hang on just a tick?

You've been bit!

- Hit. Hammered, actually.
- Let's have a look, Mr Herriot.

- It's all right, Miss Worrall.
- You can't be too careful.

Let me look.
I've done first aid, you know.

- Have you?
- Now, what we need is some antiseptic.

Right.

Here we are.

Oh, dear. But… isn't that meant
for the animals, Mr Herriot?

We are animals too,
Miss Worrall.

I suppose it'll be all right, then.

Now, it would be easier…
Could you just sit down?

Yes. I don't think
it's too serious, actually.

You can never tell. Ooh.

If the poison spreads to your system,
you could be very ill.

James, have you seen the
Ministry regulations on brucellosis?

I must have
put them down somewhere.

No. Sorry.

Ah. Miss Worrall,
how delightful to see you.

You too, Mr Farnon.

It's my Dilly, Mr Farnon.
I'm very worried about him.

He's very poorly.

You can make him well,
can't you?

Alas, dear Miss Worrall, I must be
halfway across the county within the hour.

Mr Herriot
will attend to your every need.

But Mr Herriot's not well.
His thumb's in a bad way.

He is a veterinary surgeon of the greatest
resource. I'm sure he can manage.

He has had such a good teacher.

No! It's my brother's surgery this morning.
I'll see that he attends to you at once.

Whatever you think's best.

The sooner your drake
is restored to full health, the better.

I shall be pleased,
Miss Worrall.

Thank you so much,
Mr Farnon.

It's entirely my pleasure.

Oh, James!

Oh. Sorry.

I'm going to get him.

- Are you ill?
- I beg your pardon?

- Excused boots?
- I'm perfectly well, Siegfried.

Then why are you not ministering to
the flock of clients like a good shepherd?

There wasn't a soul in there.

Just now one of your
apparently invisible souls

was administering first aid
to James in the surgery.

Do you know what you are?
You're an idler. A lounge lizard.

- Were you out late again last night?
- I had a couple of pints at the Drovers.

I knew it. That's why you're draped
all over the sofa like a Rank starlet.

Have you ever seen…

a liver in the final stages of cirrhosis?

- A couple of pints?
- Don't delude yourself, my dear boy.

What flows in your veins
is approximately 20% proof.

I suppose it wouldn't interest you at all
that our first client is a young woman?

- Page 15.
- What's that?

The Doncaster results.

Ah. So, you're the young lady.

Mr Farnon mentioned me, did he?

He does often, Miss Worrall.
Speaks very highly of you indeed.

"One of our most valued clients,"
he's very fond of saying.

Oh!

- Now, what seems to be the problem?
- What?

Oh. Well, it's my Dilly, you see.

- (phone rings)
- Uh… Be with you in one moment.

Nailed.

Tristan, I've only…
got one pair of hands.

(phone continues ringing)

Admit defeat gracefully.
Go to Mr Edwards.

- I'll go now if you answer the telephone.
- Siegfried can. He's reading the paper.

I'll leave Sally to you, then.

I'll answer the telephone.

Darrowby 385.

Yes. Oh, a bull?

Could you just wait there
and I'll ask Mr Farnon?

What did you say your name was again?
Sir George Roland.

- Thank you, Miss Worrall.
- I could see you were all so busy.

You've done splendidly.

Farnon the elder here.
What may I do for you?

- Bye, Tris.
- Goodbye, James.

No, no. Not at all, Sir George.
No disruption.

One cannot be too careful
with these pedigrees.

- Ah, James. The very man.
- What?

I'll tell you'll what,
I'll give William Ill the once-over

and I'll report to you at, uh… noon?

Oh, luncheon. How very, very kind of you.
I'll see you then.

- James…
- I can't.

Very important client, James.

The Sir Georges of the Dales are the
sort of people we simply must cling onto.

It's vital that I go.

So I'm afraid I shan't be able to complete
the strain 19 brucellosis vaccinations.

- On the Prendergast herd?
- Precisely.

Ah, but it is absolutely crucial.
I'm sorry, James. It won't take you long.

- Does it have to be today?
- 'Fraid so, James.

The, uh, vaccine's in the cup…
cupboard.

Um, could you get my bag for me?

Thank you, James.
Saved the day yet again.

I'll see if I can't cadge us
a bottle of his claret. Magnificent cellar.

Looks like the poor devil's
been subject to a spot of vent pecking.

It's the hens.
They won't leave him alone.

- Can't you keep him away from them?
- I couldn't do that. It would be so cruel.

- Cruel?
- He was brought up with them.

One of them hatched him.
He still thinks she's his mother.

I think he's old enough
to leave home now.

Good Lord. Well, there.
It's in, but I don't hold out much hope.

Mr Farnon said
you'd be able to save him.

I've done my best,
but he is very ill.

But he's all right
now his vent's closed.

I'd have recommended
putting him down…

(gasps)

..but since my brother would have done all
he could to save Dilly, I've done the same.

Actually, Miss Worrall,
the vent's almost certain to be infected.

Ducks do have such complicated…
reproductive organs.

He's much more than a duck,
Mr Herriot.

- Yes, of course he is.
- When will Mr Farnon be back?

Oh, not till late this afternoon.
Probably even later.

But he is taking surgery tomorrow. I'm
sure he'd be delighted to see you then.

I haven't finished your thumb,
Mr Herriot.

No. Don't worry. This Mr Farnon
is a dab hand with a bandage.

- Oh, I am sorry.
- What you did was perfect. Thank you.

Oh, good.
Goodbye, then.

- Goodbye.
- Bye, Miss Worrall.

- I thought you were off to see Edwards.
- Well, I can't now, can I?

The Prendergast herd
need their strain 19. Today.

I thought Siegfried was…
Oh, no. Of course. Sir George.

Well, poor old you. Nat Briggs isn't
the easiest of farm managers, is he?

No.

Tristan, actually, you could do it.

Me? Um, well, no, I can't.

- Why not?
- Well, surgery. I'm on surgery.

- And there are my calls.
- Calls?

Well, whatever comes in.

I would be grateful.
It was your idea I went to see Mr Edwards.

Well, I'm sorry, James.

- All right. Good luck with Sally.
- Sally?

She'll be back in two minutes. How long
have you known a prolapse to stay in?

And the Ministry pay a penny a shot
to the chap who gives the jabs.

- Really?
- Yes.

Bye, Tris.

Wait.

How could I let my fellow man down
in his hour of need?

Quite.

Thanks, Tris. Careful.
Remember they're live.

- Oh, and not a word to Siegfried, eh?
- Pardon?

The dresser.
You know how he is with surprises.

Oh, no. Of course not.

Thanks a lot, Tris. Bye.

Bye.

- Morning!
- Morning.

- Come on, then.
- (man) Go on. Get on. On your way.

Mr Edwards?

- Mr Herriot, the veterinary.
- Right on both counts.

You're too late, lad.
I buried Clara a month since. Over there.

- You must miss her.
- Aye, I do.

- Well, you could always get another dog.
- Aye, I will when I've a mind to.

But tha's not come here
to sell me a hound, has tha?

I've come for a bit of advice, actually.

(laughs) Come in, lad.

Thanks.

Give it a shot then,
shall we, Nat?

That's what you're here for,
ain't it?

Right. Hold her nice and steady.

Excellent.
Send her along then, please, Nathaniel.

Call the next one, please, Ray.

(MrEdwards) Touch it. Go on.

You're not stroking the wife's cheek.

- Very smooth, isn't it?
- Aye. And solid with it.

That'll not let you down.

(laughs) I've been
looking for that all over.

Mr Edwards, that's very impressive.
I couldn't do anything so complicated.

Of course you can, lad. A man of your
education and skill with your hands.

It's just a matter of
knowin' how to do it.

Oh.

Let's get on with the job, shall we?

That's what he says to his Barbara
after cocoa!

Barbara?

- His missus.
- Got wed in October.

- Hasn't cheered him up much.
- It did at the start.

He was dead excited about carrying on
the family name. But nowt's happened.

- In six months.
- He's right worried about it.

I say he's not doing the job right.
Needs lessons, I reckon.

(laughter)

He hates that.
Drives the beggar wild.

'Ey, if you want to see a volcano,
ask him if his Barbara's in the family way!

Thank you.

(sniggering)

Well, come on.
Let's be having you.

That's what he says next.

What's so funny, Farnon?

Uh… Nothing.
Nothing at all.

Let's get on with the job, then, shall we?

(both snigger)

Proper joints, lad. That's the secret.
Joints that'll stand up to the job.

Yes, quite.
Right, Mr Edwards…

Hey, come here.
Look at this. Over here, lad.

On tha knees. Never mind the shavings.
Get thee sen down here.

- Look at them joints.
- Oh, yes.

Try and pull 'em apart. Go on.

(laughs)

Proper dovetails.
No glue.

Strong as steel where you need it, yet
you can pull 'em apart like lifting carrots.

There's more to joinery
than thee thought, eh?

Certainly is. Right.
Bye, Mr Edwards. Thanks a lot.

Don't forget, you'll need
a sliding bevel and a proper rule.

Right.

Start by marking in the joints
and then cuttin' it away.

Excuse me. Ta.

Right. Thanks for all your advice,
Mr Edwards.

Don't worry, lad.
It's just a matter of knowin' how to do it.

Come on, Farnon.
I want to be home for my dinner.

(strains) There we go, Nat.
All done.

Get out.

The paso doble!

If we jam two in together,
they won't be able to swing about!

- In twos, Nat, like Noah.
- There's no room for two.

Yes, there is.
It'd be faster too.

Don't want your dinner to go cold.

- Might save a few minutes, I suppose.
- Half the time.

(Nat) lf it works.

Go on, then.
Make a fool of thee sen.

In you go!
ln you go, you varmint!

(hums tune)

- Tight fit.
- Oh. Snug, I'd say.

Steady with number one, Nat.

Now, I inject.

There we are.
I put this back.

And… number two.

Just move forward, Nat.

There we go. On they go, Nathaniel.
And the next two, please.

Go on.

Go on.

(Helen) James!

Hello, darling!

James?

James.

Hello, darling.
How was the electricity man?

Did he manage to find the fault,
and is it going to cost me a fortune?

- Are you all right?
- I've never felt better.

The electricity man seemed well.

He had a cold weeks ago, but swore by
an infusion of lemon balm and camomile.

He traced the fault to a bare wire.
What was the third question?

- I don't know. What's for lunch?
- Casserole. In the oven.

- Splendid.
- (phone rings)

Hello. Darrowby 385.

Yes, Miss Worrall.

No, I'm sorry. Mr Farnon Senior hasn't
returned yet. Mr Herriot's here, though.

I think you're a disappointment.

Here's Mr Herriot.

Miss Worrall?

You want me to have another go?

Yes, of course.
I'll come out as soon as I can. Bye.

- Shall I serve up?
- Yes, please, darling.

I may need another implement.

Mrs Alton, did Mr Herriot say
where he could be reached this morning?

Oh, yes. He, uh… He did say I could
get him at, uh… Mr Edwards's.

Ah, yes. Mr Edwards's.

(hums tune)

- All set?
- Aye.

Oops. Close.

There we go.
And on to number two.

Ow!

You daft beggar!
What have you done?!

It's all right.
You didn't get any vaccine. Look.

You stupid bloody fool!

Come on, Nat.
You backed right onto the needle.

You what? You came right at me and
stuck the bloody thing right in my arse!

- It's only a scratch.
- Don't give me that. I felt it go right in.

- All right, Ray. Give us a hand.
- What?

Breeches down.
I want to have a look.

Not on your bloody nelly, Farnon.
Get on and get these beasts done!

And you do them one at a time. Now!

They got her back end twice.

Shh, shh, shh.

It's enlarged and flaccid now.
Too big for the vent.

Damned hens were pecking at it.

Thought it was a worm, I expect.

Cannibalism.
I know it sounds daft, but they all do it.

He's such a good friend,
Mr Herriot.

In you go.
Come on. In you go.

Yes. Yes.

- We've done all we can, Miss Worrall.
- It will stay in this time.

It's very engorged and it's very infected.
It may be too late.

Mr Farnon would save him.
I know he would.

Well, let's see what happens, eh?
I know how fond you are of him.

He's a good vet, that's all.

I meant Dilly.

Poor old chap.
I bet he's in a lot of pain.

Why did you have to go
courting the hens?

I'd have got you a wife if I'd known.

If he gets worse…

I know what to do.
I'll help him on his way.

- I've culled hens since I was a nipper.
- Have you killed a duck?

- It's the same thing, isn't it?
- Their necks are thicker.

Much stronger.
Far more difficult to stretch.

It won't come to that.
He's all right now.

Look.

Well, if you need me…

Oh, Dilly…

It's swelled up something rotten, it has.

Hurts too.
Like it's on fire.

Tha missus'll give tha a cushion
where tha needs it.

Tha can laugh,
but what's going to happen now, eh?

It was only a scratch, Nat.

I've had a dose of that abortion stuff.
What's it going to do to me, eh?

- You're not in calf, are you, lad?
- It's not funny!

If you feel your calf slipping,
you just tell me.

I'll see tha gets milked, Nat.

That stuffs mucky.
Live vaccine, ain't it?

Put our family plans right out.

Nat, the vaccine can't harm
your chances of becoming a father.

- So you say.
- You may be sore, but there's no damage.

My arse says different.

- Nat, I am terribly sorry.
- I'm a family man, Farnon. You hear me?

You're in no danger there, honestly.

Time will tell, Farnon.

You can judge a man
by his wine cellar, James.

- That puts me in my place.
- How so?

Our cellar consists of two bottles
of last year's elderberry wine

and a five-year-old bottle of sloe gin.

Eclectic and eccentric, James.

Two English characteristics which I hope
will never disappear from among us.

Master Tristan,
your presence is awaited!

This is a particularly fine bottle of claret,
is it, Siegfried?

Oh, well, the '37 Saint-Emilions
were a pretty good bunch.

Yes, indeed, what's left of them.
Oh, yes, yes.

I look forward to tasting it.

Ah! Hail the conquering hero.
Energetic day up at the Prendergast herd?

Yes. And you?

I?

Well, I saved an invaluable racehorse
from certain death,

I met an enchanting Hereford bull,

I devoured an excellent lunch
in delightful company,

and I administered antibiotics
to an ailing tup,

and I returned with this prize
for our mutual delectation.

Have you ever seen a liver
in the final stages of cirrhosis, Siegfried?

This is wine, Tristan.

One's liver is perfectly safe in the hands of
the great viticulturalists of the Gironde.

Yes. Well, thanks,
but I'll settle for the Drovers

where I know I shall have
a good honest pint of Yorkshire ale.

Oh dear, oh dear.
Poor boy.

Wasted on him, anyway.
He can't tell a Burgundy from a Bordeaux.

And the Drovers, James, it's really
only one step up from an opium den.

That lad's going to turn into an alcoholic.

Well, I think this has stood there
long enough to be decently chambred.

James, you're not going to let me down?

Certainly not, Siegfried.
One glass before I go, eh?

- There you are, James.
- Thank you.

A votre sante, James.

Et tu, Siegfried.

Oh!

Very, um… full-bodied.

One sip, I'm Aphrodite's slave
and this is Mount Olympus.

If tha's done any damage to my tackle,
tha'll pay for it, veterinary.

You've got nothing to worry about.
Trust me.

Trust thee? I wouldn't trust thee to carve
a Sunday joint, you cack-handed beggar.

- Let me buy you a drink.
- I'd rather have rat poison.

- All right. I'll get you a pint of that, then.
- Don't be funny with me, Farnon.

Flash tongue,
flash clothes, flash vetting.

Too flash by half, ain't tha?

I ought to lay thee out.

By heck, if we've not had
some good news by the summer,

I'll be back for thee,
by heck I will.

- Oh, James!
- What, darling?

It's perfect.

It's, uh… it's lovely.

- Darling, don't you think we ought to…
- It's beautiful!

It's not bad.

- It matches the table exactly.
- No. It's the wrong colour. It's darker.

It's near enough.
No one looks that closely.

- I think it's too big.
- Ah, well, let's see, shall we?

Darling, what time
are we picking up the kids?

Oh, not until five.

- You won't believe this.
- Won't I?

- It's made to measure.
- Really?

- Exactly 46 inches.
- Wonderful.

James, it's fate.
It was meant for us.

- Yes, it would be wonderful.
- "Would"?

If we could afford it.

We haven't spent that much lately.
How much is it, anyway?

No idea.
Bound to be expensive.

- James…
- Good Lord!

- James, it's in the sale.
- Darling, it's nearly [Pound Sign]3.

- That's cheap.
- Helen…

- James, it's ideal.
- Next month, eh?

- James…
- What?

Well, we can afford it.
What's the matter with you?

Nothing. We've paid the electric,
paid the insurance, the mortgage is due.

And the practice has done
excellent business this month.

We can't rely on that money filtering
through for at least a month, can we?

It will have been bought by then.

The children.
They need new shoes, darling.

And we've always said
we must put their needs first.

- Don't you like it, James?
- I love it, but we must be prudent.

James, I've got a birthday
coming up soon, remember?

We are living
well beyond our means, you know.

- James…
- And it's gotta stop somewhere.

Anything I can do for you?

No.

Could you close the door
on your way out?

Spot of reading?

Improving my mind.

Oh. That's a very laudable exercise,
my dear brother.

Casino Royale.
Good grief.

Have you read it?

Mr Bond's misadventures. But hardly
calculated to improve one's mind.

Have you finished
that Somerset Maugham I lent you?

It's boring.

Boring?

- Boring?
- Boring.

Sometimes I cannot believe
we're out of the same flesh.

Boring?

Boring, Siegfried.

I, uh… thought I might
pop into the Drovers on my way home.

Good idea.

- Would you care to accompany me?
- Partake of the demon drink? No, thanks.

- Are you quite well, Tristan?
- Never better.

I'm paying.

I'm reading.

Boring. Oh.

James! Morning.
Up with the lark, eh?

Yes. Nothing like it, Siegfried.

- James…
- Yes?

- Could you spare me a word?
- Yes.

It's, uh… It's Tristan.

Oh, God.
What's he done now?

Is… is everything all right
between you two?

Yes. Why?

Oh, it's probably nothing.

Do you think he's…?

What?

No. Nothing, James.

- Is he ill?
- Do you think he is?

He has been a bit, uh…

Not quite himself
this last day or two. Precisely.

Quieter, I suppose.

Hushed as a church mouse,
saintly as a choirboy.

What the devil's
the matter with him, James?

Perhaps he's maturing.

Reading lan Fleming in preference to
Somerset Maugham? Come on.

Shh.

Hello, Tristan.

Morning, Siegfried. James.

Morning, Tris.

All right. I confess.
I had a glass about two days ago.

One tumbler
does not an empty decanter make.

- Well, perhaps Tristan?
- Maybe. Perhaps.

- He might have had a glass or two.
- He might indeed.

I've always been terrified
it would come to this, James.

- Siegfried, I've got to go.
- Where?

Mr Edwards'.

- Odd time of year, isn't it?
- Busy?

Yes. The darkest part
just before the dawn of spring.

Just busy for us.

Feeling the strain,
are you, Helen?

- James has been working hard lately.
- Overworking, perhaps.

He just seems
odd, irritable, secretive.

He forgot to wish Rosie
good luck for her exam.

Oh, dear.
Poor old Rosie. My dear.

He was rabid over the price
of a Welsh dresser in Pickering's.

- Expensive, was it?
- No. It was in the sale.

And it was ideal.
Ideal for Rowangarth.

Oh, that's it.
It's money, that's what's on his mind.

You ask him, Helen.

We're not speaking.

What? (tuts)

You must talk to one another, Helen.

Silence is divine,
yet also brutish and dead.

Speech is human.
It's what separates us from the animals.

Leave that aside,
you're left only with base responses.

Yes, yes.
I know, I know. You're right.

But has he seemed
a bit strange here too?

Well, perhaps a little bit less
than his usual perky self.

Well, that's a relief, anyway.

Well, I'm glad that's settled, anyway.

Um, time to entertain the clients.

Um, Helen… you haven't noticed anything
odd about Tristan as well, have you?

- Tristan?
- I mean his habits, general behaviour.

No. Why?

It's probably nothing. It's probably
just my imagination running riot.

Siegfried. You don't happen to know
where James is now, do you?

James? Um…

He murmured something about
going to see Mr Edwards as he hared out.

Now, then…
Ah, Steven, isn't it?

Aye. And he's Tigger.

Uh-huh.

I know.
Your father telephoned.

I understand Tigger
came off second best

in a confrontation with
a horseless carriage, is that it?

Nay.
Nay, he were run over by a car.

Oh, yes.

Is that G Edwards?

- Is there another?
- No.

Yeah, the little fella's
had quite a mauling, hasn't he?

- Collie cross, I think you'll find, Helen.
- Yes, that's it.

- Treated her myself many times.
- She died a month ago.

You're absolutely right, Helen.
Heart failure. Or was it poison?

Poison?

Hm?

Do all your animals die?

Well, in the end, Steven, yes.

Well, Tigger's a right good ratter
and we don't want to lose him.

Well, he's had a nasty shock,

but I don't believe… anything's broken.

But we'll take an X-ray just to make sure.

Will it all cost more than six shilling?

We shan't know that
until we see the result of the X-ray.

We'll give him a thorough examination
while he's under the anaesthetic.

If it's more than six shilling
we'll not waste any more of your time.

Plenty more cats to be had.

Well, I'll tell you what, Steven.

You leave Tigger here with us and come
back, say, at six o'clock to collect him.

Helen, would you mind seeing to Tigger?

We'll give him our 5s 1 1d special.
What do you say to that?

Aye.

All right.
See you then.

I know one shouldn't
run a practice as a charity.

Let's just say I'm a sentimental old fool.
Let's say no more about it.

Now then…

The ribcage is very sensitive.

Mr Edwards
hasn't got any animals any more.

James has gone rushing off
to see a man without an animal.

Shoulder muscles are probably torn.

Perhaps he's replaced the dog.

But why isn't it in the files?

Oh, paperwork, Helen.
It's the bane of our lives.

That's a nasty contusion
round the eye.

But I believe he'll recover.
I'll just clean out this gravel rash.

And I'll need some antibiotics, Helen.

All right…

- Thank you, Siegfried.
- What?

For listening.

Always here with an ear,
my dear Helen.

You know, I think I'd better have a word
with that husband of yours.

I believe it's high time

that he took you out to dinner
somewhere really rather special.

- Oh, Mr Farnon!
- Miss Worrall?

Mr Farnon…

Dilly's dead!

His prolapse kept on coming out
and he was in such pain, so l…

Mr Herriot put him out of his misery
for you, did he?

I did it!
I killed him myself!

Well done, you.
I am so sorry, Miss Worrall.

I thought to telephone,
but I know how busy you are.

I'm never too busy
to help valued clients, Miss Worrall.

I dug his grave, but I couldn't bear
to just cover him in earth for the worms.

I thought you might want him.

For lunch?

I want to feel
that his death isn't in vain, Mr Farnon.

Dear Miss Worrall, did he not
give you pleasure while he lived?

Perhaps you could give him
a postmortem, find out what killed him,

and help other ducks to live.

(James) Oh, I see.

With the grain.
Well, it's easy when you know how.

Aye. Just take your time and take care.

She needs a walk, does Ellie.
Don't you?

She's a beauty. Aren't you?
Give me a call if there's any problems.

Aye. I will that.

Thanks a lot, Mr Edwards. Bye.

Now don't forget, it's not just skill,
it's knowin' how to do it.

I want you to be
particularly kind to Mrs Alton.

- Why?
- She's got a lot on her mind.

- Oh, I see.
- Family problems, you know.

- The worst.
- She's very worried about her niece.

- Is she?
- The whole family's most concerned.

- I'll treat her with care.
- Good.

You see, this… this niece of hers is
most desperately keen to start a family,

but so far, no good.

- What's her name?
- Who?

- Mrs Alton's niece who can't conceive.
- Betty. No, no. Barbara.

Barbara Briggs.
She's married to Nat Briggs -

the cowman you unfortunately injected
with strain 19 vaccine, apparently.

- Yes. They blame me, Siegfried.
- What?

- It's ridiculous.
- That's absurd.

Anyone would think I'd castrated him.
What did you say to Mrs Alton?

I don't know. There can be no connection
between your unfortunate mishap

and Nat Briggs's inability
to impregnate Mrs Briggs.

(sighs) I just wish
there were something I could do.

You've done quite enough already.
Do you want a drink?

- Uh, no. No, thank you.
- Why not?

Nat drinks here.

- Here?
- Usually.

Well, I call that monstrous.
We must get some sense into this fella.

I refuse to have my own brother forced to
spend his evenings a prisoner in Skeldale

because of a damned lie.
Come on, Tristan, gird thy loins up.

You and I will confront
Nathaniel Briggs.

Uh, no, no, no, Siegfried.

I haven't finished the Somerset Maugham
book you lent me.

Oh, haven't you?

Well, perhaps discretion is
the better part of valour in your case.

(gentle piano music)

Perhaps you should
try and take things easier.

I'm not overworked just now.

Try telling that to Jimmy.
He hasn't seen you hardly at all.

I've been busy.
Odd hours, you know?

- Doing what?
- Nothing.

Well, nothing out of the ordinary.

- Here's good health to you all.
- It's not my health I want, Farnon.

- Here we go.
- "My manhood's been ruined forever."

- It's true. It has.
- Has it?

- "I'll never be a dad."
- Aye. I won't.

- Never?
- "I'm impotent."

I am. And that brother of yours
is the cause of it. He's to blame.

Cobblers, Nat.

He just don't know
how to do it properly, Mr Farnon.

James, maybe… maybe you could
take a couple of days off.

I'm fine.

No, you're not, James.
You've been very strange lately.

- Excuse me, Mr Herriot.
- Yes?

- A telephone call, sir.
- Oh. Sorry, darling.

- A Mr Edwards.
- Is it urgent?

"As soon as possible," he said.
I'll bring the bill, sir.

Right. Thanks.

I'll have to go, darling.

What animal are you treating
for Mr Edwards, James?

- I'm waiting.
- Dog.

- He hasn't got a dog.
- Yes, he has. Brand-new puppy.

She's called Ellie. Beautiful collie.
I wish you could come with me, darling.

Well, I could.

We promised the baby-sitter we'd be in
by ten. I don't know when I'll get away.

- What's wrong with the dog.
- I won't know till I see it.

Surely you must do by now.

After all, you spend more time
at Mr Edwards' than with your own family.

Just help me get him to my car.
I'll take him home.

I've got me bike.

Don't worry about your bike.
Pick it up there tomorrow.

Now then,
you remember what I told you, Nat.

I must try harder.

That's it. That's right.
(laughs) Good night.

- Dear Mrs Briggs.
- Nat Briggs!

You are disgusting!

Come here!

Dear Mrs Briggs,

I must apologise for the, uh,
pickle your husband's in tonight.

- We've had a few beers, Barbara…
- I'd never have known.

And I have to say,
I do feel partly responsible.

You're completely responsible, Mr Farnon.
You and your vaccinations.

- No, Barbara, it were…
- Up those stairs.

Now, l… I beg you to believe, Mrs Briggs,
that the vaccination is entirely harmless.

- So you say, but I know different.
- I assure you…

You can assure all you like, Mr Farnon,
but outside. Good night.

No, you, uh…

Right. That's it, the final straw.
I'm going to a solicitor in the morning.

I'll bring that beggar to book
once and for all.

Keep going, Nat.
You've not finished for the night yet.

(James) Got it.

Big lump for a little dog.

Hope it's not one of my failed joints.

Nay, Mr Herriot. I'm always meaning
to sweep up more than I do.

He'll be sore for a couple of days.
Nothing to worry about.

'Ey, you've brought her back
from the dead, Mr Herriot.

Well, it was a very simple procedure.
It's just a matter of… knowing how to do it.

- A letter for you, Mr Farnon.
- Oh, really? Thank you.

- By hand.
- Gracious me.

Nat?

Nat. Ah. Um, yes.

Oh. The news is not, uh, very good.

I'm afraid you must regard the Drovers
as out of bounds for the foreseeable f…

Great Scott.

- You're in trouble, my boy.
- What?

You could end up penniless
under a railway arch in Sheffield

with nothing
between you and the night air.

- What is it?
- You brought this practice into disrepute.

Lower than even you
have ever brought it before.

Siegfried, explain.

Man, how could you do it?

A simple injection which the merest
student could manage with his eyes shut!

You, you incompetent buffoon,

end up jamming the implement
straight into the man's backside.

You are being sued.

Strictly, Siegfried,
you are being sued.

What?

S Farnon, I believe.

Where do they get these girls? There's
a gap on the typewriter between s and t.

Sheffield, was it,
your railway bridge?

Wait a minute. Prendergast.
James is due up there today.

Good luck to him.

We are going together,
my dear brother.

Together, we will confront
Mr Nathaniel Briggs

and see just how brave he is
without this behind him.

Thank you.

(Tristan clears throat)

Ah, Nat, there you are.
Have you been avoiding us?

Nay. But I've been advised to say nowt
about the solicitor's letter.

Oh, that's very wise.
I take it she's off her grub, is she?

Aye. She's eating nowt.

Any of your other stirks affected?

What are you getting at, Farnon?

She's sick.
I want to find out why she's sick.

There's no reason I know.

Yes. Very high.
She's got pneumonia.

She'll need antibiotics, I'm afraid.

Well, I'm not having him do it.

Very well.
I will administer the injection myself.

Thank you, Tristan.

There's a lesson for you.

Until you're ready for the injection,
keep the needle out of the way.

Ow! Tha's done it again!

You beggar!
Tha's trying to kill me!

Oh! I'll get bloody pneumonia now.
Hasn't tha done enough damage?

- The other side this time, Nat.
- Just levelling up, weren't you?

- One on each cheek.
- (laughter)

- Nat.
- Just stay away from me.

- Nat, it won't hurt you.
- It hurts already. Now get away!

Siegfried. Siegfried!

I'll double the damages.
I'll break thee.

Discretion, Siegfried,
is the better part of…

You'd better give me the car keys.

In you get, Siegfried.
Quickly!

A toast.
To la belle Helene.

- La belle Helene.
- Helen.

Happy birthday, darling.
Now, I want you to meet Mr Edwards.

- Oh, yes?
- Mm. Come on.

(Siegfried) Come on, Mrs A.

Now, darling, eyes tight shut.
To your left gently.

- A bit to your right. Turn a bit.
- Ooh, James.

Careful. Turn round.
Stop. Open 'em.

James!

And this is Mr Edwards.
Mr Edwards.

How do, Mrs Herriot?
Many happy returns.

- Thank you. How's Ellie?
- Oh, champion.

I'm delighted to hear it. Oh, Mr Edwards,
you've made it beautifully!

Nay, it's nowt to do with me.
Mr Herriot, he were the labourer.

I couldn't have done any of it without
his advice morning, noon and night.

James, you clever old thing.
It's perfect.

- Oh, thanks.
- Thank you, Mr Edwards.

- It's just a matter of…
- (both) Knowin' how to do it.

- (knock at door)
- Lovely!

Hello.

Mrs Briggs. Nat.

I'm sorry, Auntie.
Is it a bad time?

I'm sure you'll be very welcome.
Won't they?

Oh, naturally. Would you…
would you… would you like…?

- Nat, Mrs Briggs, on behalf of…
- You see…

Hold on.
I've something to say.

We've come to apologise.

- I've an announcement to make.
- Uh, we have.

We. Aye.

Well, go on, slow coach.

Well, the fact is, we're expecting.

- A baby?
- Twins.

- Twins!
- I don't believe it! Get some glasses!

What an unexpected thing!
Now then, raise your glasses.

I'm sorry they aren't quite
the right kind of glasses, but never mind.

- To the twins.
- (all) To the twins.

Aye, well, that second shot you gave me
must've been the antidote, eh, Mr Farnon?

Took your bloody time,
though, didn't you?

- Sorry about that…
- Well, twins. They're worth waiting for.

Damn hard work, mind.
You'll not take all the credit for this.

No. We had our part to play too.

Aye. That we did.

Well, Barbara, it's just a matter
of knowing how to do it, isn't it?