All language subtitles for 01 - The Prodigal Returns_eng

Goodbye, Mrs Stubbs.
Thank you, Mr Stubbs. It'll keep us going.

Mr Biggins!

Mr Biggins.

Mr Biggins!

- I've got thee bill, Veterinary.
- Very good of you.

But there's an item here
that I don't quite remember.

- Uh-huh?
- 14 July 1951 .

Vitamin pills, tha says.
One shilling and six pence, tha says.

I've no recollection of that, Veterinary.

- That was 18 months ago.
- But I've no recollection.

To tell you the truth, neither have l.

Well, how do I know that you've not
charged me for summat I've never had?

Tell you what,
call round to the surgery on market day

and I'm sure that Mrs Herriot will…

Mr Biggins?

Look, Mr Biggins.

If you would show me the lame calf
you wish me to examine, Mr Biggins,

I would be very grateful.

Mr Biggins!

Tha'll treat no beast of mine until tha's
given me recollection of them vitamins.

If you've dragged me all the way out here
to argue about an item

for 1s 6d
that's been outstanding for 18 months…

My God, he has.

Morning.

- Helen. You've got to help me, darling.
- Yes?

- It's forgery, actually.
- What?

I need a signature.

- Where did you get this?
- Oh, I have my sources.

It's a welcome home card for Tristan.

One pen. Ready?

"To my dearest darling Tristan."
No, "Dearest darling Tris."

"Longing to see you again

and to talk about…

our plans for the future."

"Lots of love and kisses…

from your blue-eyed Susie."

Oh, James, come on.
You know she's happily married.

Yes, but Tristan doesn't know, does he?

Remember that dance we all went to
before he went to lreland?

He got so drunk and couldn't remember
if he proposed to her. He was panicking.

I know!
(chuckles)

Oh.

Hey, Mr Farnon!

I heard tell you was back
and I'm reet glad to see thee.

And very good it is to be back, too, Bert.

I were in the Drovers only last night
and I was saying then to t'whole place

it'll be a bit lively
with young Mr Farnon back.

Well, it certainly is my intention to enter
into the spirit of the community again.

Tha'll not find it a mite dull maybe?

Always was a bit of a lad, tha knows.

Well, you know, Bert,
dullness is a state of mind.

I've no intention of letting it afflict me.

- Tha'll have some stories to tell, eh?
- I certainly have, Bert.

And there'll be some good drinking in
the Drovers telling, I can promise you that.

Look, I must be going.
The fatted calf awaits.

James.

Hello.

- Helen, James.
- Siegfried.

(chuckles)

Oh.

I have found the perfect housekeeper
who will cater for my brother's needs.

Really, Siegfried?
Who might that be?

She's a widow, Helen,
with no domestic ties.

Fine Christian woman
with a reputation for good cooking.

She wins the GFS flower-arranging
competition just about every year.

- Do we know the name of this paragon?
- Yes, we do. Mrs Alton.

I've spoken to her
and she's agreed in principle.

You think she and Tristan
will hit it off together?

I see no reason why not.
I found her obliging.

I'm sure you did, but oughtn't
we let Tristan make his own appointment?

Well, of course. Course.
I'm simply doing his donkey work.

He's the one that's got
to live with her after all.

Yes.
What a pair of doubting Thomases.

I've only got my brother's
best interests at heart.

The prodigal returns,
I want to make him feel entirely welcome.

(doorbell)

That's him.
He's back.

- Tris.
- Helen.

- Welcome home.
- You look marvellous.

- James, it's good to see you.
- It's good to see you, too, Tris.

- Tristan.
- Siegfried.

I can't think why, but I've missed you.

Good Lord, really?

Well, come on, let's have a drink!

To Farnon, Herriot, Herriot and Farnon.

And to the new master
of Skeldale House, welcome.

- Yes, welcome home, Tris.
- Thank you.

To you, Tris.

Now we've attended
to the formalities,

Tristan, is not this the real reason
for the homecoming?

To answer a call of the heart?

- Who's this from?
- We've no idea, Tris.

Had a lot of fun
trying to guess, didn't we?

If you have an announcement to make,
please don't keep us waiting.

- Are we to welcome a new mistress?
- Nothing could be further from the truth.

I'm as free as ever
and determined to keep it that way.

Open up.
We're all agog.

I'll open this in private without
the attendance of a gawping audience.

It was evidently delivered by hand
so it must be from some local beauty.

Nothing will persuade me
down the aisle.

Really? Then you better take advantage
of the opportunity I've uncovered for you.

I've got you a housekeeper.
A widow woman of positive charm,

no dependents, who will attend
to all your legitimate needs

and discourage all the other ones.

- Who?
- She's a Mrs Alton of 5 Market Cottages.

Take advantage of her before somebody
else does. She expects to hear from you.

That's awfully kind of you,
but I would rather like to, um,

advertise the position myself
and interview candidates.

- Precisely what I said.
- (phone rings)

- I'll get it.
- That is why I made the appointment.

All right.

- Hello. My name's Herriot.
- Aye, in here.

Right.

(music on TV)

This is the patient, is it?

What were his other symptoms?

- Let's have a look. Up you come.
- Oh, look at that!

(applause on TV)

You are in a state, aren't you?

She rode the finest horse
you've ever seen, Helen.

Standing 17.2 with eyes like hers -
wide and free.

- (sniggers)
- But?

Oh, there.
Poor Tris.

For goodness sake, drink up.
You're becoming tediously maudlin.

If only you'd seen her, Siegfried.

You were never
much of a horseman anyway.

- That's not the point.
- No, exactly.

The point is not to fester pathetically
in the past, but to forge the future.

And here it is, Tristan.

Bird in the hand. Open up, Tristan,
and let's drink to what's to come.

No, no.
If you think that by getting me drunk

you can get me to divulge
the secrets of my heart…

I think you've done
enough of that already.

But I'm glad to hear you confirm
that it is a secret of significance.

- Oh, all right then.
- Wait a minute, let me guess who it is.

It's Rachel Bosworth.
No, no, no. She's bespoke, as I recall.

Is it Debbie Mount, returned from the
Australian outback to claim your heart?

- Whoever it is from, it cannot possibly…
- I know. Sophie Standish.

She's the only one who can possibly
keep you in the style to which you aspire.

I'm not about to propose marriage
to Sophie Standish or anyone else.

The point is, some eligible damsel may be
on the point of proposing marriage to you.

Come on, man.
Read it.

Uh-huh?

I think it's mange.

This will confirm it.

I'm pretty sure, Mrs Birse,
that this is sarcoptic mange.

Is that bad?

Not as bad as the demodectic sort. That's
nearly always incurable. He's infested.

Nasty little mites.
Horrid bristly little creatures.

- They burrow into the skin causing…
- (laughs)

..and they cause intense irritation…

making his life a misery.

Yeah, he is scratching all t'time.

He needs bathing regularly
with this mange wash.

Make sure
you read the instructions very carefully.

Bath him immediately,
getting it into every nook and cranny.

Right.

Right.

I can't say much for the quality
of your conversation, my dear brother.

I'd expected
a touch of the blarney to have rubbed off.

Ah, James.

- Ah, still here?
- Yes.

When I took that call from Mr Birse, I was
sure it was a matter of life and death.

- Sarcoptic mange.
- (Siegfried) Ah.

They couldn't give a damn about that dog.

They're glued to the television.
Hardly said a word.

It's much the same story here, I'm afraid.
You certainly haven't missed anything.

I suppose under the conditions,
allowances have to be made.

I think the card
has touched a nerve, James.

Oh, Helen.

Oh, come on, Tris.
Drink up.

No, no.
I'm never touching another drop.

Really?

The remedy is confession, my dear boy.
I thought you'd have learnt that in lreland.

Reveal all to those you can trust
and sleep easy.

No. No, there's no need for that.

If anyone can get it out of him,
James, you can.

Tris.

Have you, uh…?
Have you got any news for us?

- Who's the lucky girl, then?
- Oh, James, please. Spare me.

I had no idea that card was so significant.

(running down stairs)

- Morning, Tris.
- What an all too unaccustomed pleasure.

Yes. Not often I've seen you
so bright and early, either.

- You know me. Start as I mean to go on.
- Really?

I heard tell of merry goings on
in the Drovers last night.

- How are you feeling?
- In the pink, of course.

Suffering after some pink gins, you mean.

What an appalling suggestion.

Siegfried and James have been up
since sparrow's spit?

They have.

I thought I'd make an early start myself
to check that everything is as it was.

And is it?

It's comforting to find Siegfried's
gospel of progress and modernisation

has been more honoured in
the breach than the observance.

The clients haven't
modernised much either.

- Are you ready for them?
- Oh, absolutely.

The word's gone round, you know?
They've come from far and wide.

That'll make a change. Siegfried always
said they stayed away from my surgery.

Bert Chapman's first.
And Susie, of course.

- Susie?
- His labrador. Don't you remember?

Oh, yes, of course.
Of course.

(Siegfried) I think he's got wind
of what's in store for him, Tom.

That's why I want him done. Last few
months, he's got worse and worse.

- The three of us can't hardly handle him.
- It's classical behaviour for a rig.

One of his testicles lodged in the
abdomen or possibly the inguinal canal.

Makes them very fractious. I don't think
he'll let himself be caught while I'm here.

He's got me marked as the one
who's gonna pick his pockets for him.

He's been wild before,
but never so we couldn't catch him.

I really ought to be looking to my patients.

Oh, come on, Mr Farnon!

There's always time for a bit of a tale.
Come on, sit yourself down.

- Well, it was…
- Come on.

It was in a village called Clon Machry,
just outside of Wicklow.

Wonderful hunting country and Major
Fitzgerald was retired but very peppery

and he loved to hunt astride the wildest
monsters you could wish to find.

Now, your namesake, Pat,
Mr Maloney, he was…

The farrier.

..he was terrified of the major's horses,
but even more so of the major himself.

Morning. I was just passing
and thought I'd look at your dog.

- What? Again?
- I think it's necessary.

Do you mind?

Then he ducks under the lintel
and rides right into the parlour,

where he kicks over the table to discover
poor Pat Maloney cowering for safety.

Well, he whips him out with his crop
and drives him down to his shop,

- where he… trembling like a leaf…
- Trembling!

..he hammers a shoe on the wild beast

and the major rides off into the fray.

You haven't actually bathed him yet.

Aye, well, we've been a bit busy.
We'll get him done tonight.

- What's his name?
- Jet.

Get me a bucket of warm water,
would you?

I'll give him his first treatment now.

It'll only take a couple of minutes.

The major was carted off to hospital,
but Genghis was left roaming wild,

threatening to do unto others what he'd
been encouraged to do to Pat's house.

Well, I was brought in to assist
in catching the wild beast

by slipping him a Mickey Finn.

A Mickey Finn!

But… I liked Genghis.

He was a noble horse, in my opinion.

All he needed
was firm but considerate handling.

Do you know, within the hour,
I had that stallion eating out of my hand,

to the amazement
of the population of Clon Machry.

So much so that the major,
who was holed up in bed for weeks,

called upon me to keep his horse in trim
for him while his back mended.

Bravo, Mr Tristan!

Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Yes, it is still just in the forenoon. I do
apologise for the lateness of surgery.

We shall be underway directly. I wonder
if you could spare me a moment?

If you think you've come back here
to a permanent social club,

Iet me disabuse you
of that idea immediately.

I was just cultivating the
vet's equivalent of the bedside manner

which you say is very important
in country practice.

Let me remind you that our bedside is
often a freezing, evil-smelling cow byre.

James and I have been out since dawn,
slaving frostbitten fingers to the bone

while you slither out of
your bed mid-morning

and amble down to surgery
for a chat with a few old friends.

Siegfried,
I was merely re-establishing old ties.

According to my information, you spent
half the night doing that at the Drovers.

Good God, man,
you've not been back here 48 hours

and the backwash of your scandalous
behaviour is battering this practice.

The sooner you are safely married,
the sooner you stand some chance

of becoming a responsible member
of this practice.

- Siegfried.
- You will take evening surgery instead,

while I attempt to satisfy the needs
of these poor patient people

before the morning is entirely out.

Bert is in pole position.
I take it he's first.

Siegfried…

I suggest you install
Mrs Alton immediately,

then perhaps "early to bed and early to
rise" may again be the motto of the house.

- But Siegfried…
- Go!

Right.
Now, Mr Chapman and Susie.

Shan't be a moment, I promise you.

By God, Mr Farnon, you'll have to look
to your reputation as the horse doctor

now that young Mr Tristan's back.

By all accounts, he showed them
a thing or two in lreland.

Come from miles around, they did.

Hunters, jumpers, chasers…

All sorts of horses
worth hundreds and hundreds of pounds.

Must've made him quite a rich man
by the look of that car he's driving.

There doesn't seem to be
much wrong with your little bitch.

- Would you tell me the symptoms?
- Oh, there's nowt amiss with Susie.

I just brought her in to show Mr Tristan

how well she's come through
after that last bit of trouble she had

before he went away.

- Morning.
- Oh, morning.

- You'll be t'veterinary.
- That's right.

You've got a busy job going round
bathing them dogs all t'time.

What?

Oh, yes.
It's quite a job.

- Ee, he's a grand dog.
- He certainly is.

You know,
them folks don't bother with him at all.

- Oh?
- He's in a hell of a state, isn't he?

Can you cure him?

Yes, I think so. It'll take time
and regular washing with this stuff.

Regular, eh?

I'll ask Mrs Birse to do it
as often as she can until it's cleared up.

You'll be lucky.

Yes.

Yes, I'm beginning to see that.

Oh.
Uh, good morning.

May I speak to Mrs Alton?

That's me.

Oh.

I see.
Jolly good.

Um…

I'm Mr Farnon,
Mr Tristan Farnon.

I understand you might be interested
in domestic employment.

Well, actually…

And in the position of housekeeper
at Skeldale House in particular,

Iooking after me.

Well, I suppose l…

Splendid! Well, shall I take you
across there now for a quick tour?

Just let me get my coat, OK?

Well, that's about it then, Sylvia. Bit of
a barn of a place for just the two of us.

We shall probably rattle around
like two peas on a drum.

- Do sit down.
- Thank you.

But I dare say we shall find ways
to keep each other company.

I think we'll be as snug
as two bugs in a rug.

Oh, absolutely.

How about a drink, then,
to seal the deal?

That's a bit naughty
at this time of day, isn't it?

Well, you'll find me
a free and easy sort of chap.

Not much of a stickler for rules,
discipline, all that sort of rot.

My feeling is, if you feel like a drink,
have one. How about a large gin?

- I'll not say no to that.
- Attagirl. Neither will l.

It must've been a great shock for you…

Iosing your husband at sea like that.

- Yes, it was.
- You have my deepest sympathy.

Thank you.

It all seems so long ago.

You, um, must've led a very lonely life.

I'll say.

To the good ship Skeldale
and all who sail in her.

Us.

Yes. To us.

(door opens)

Aha.

- The fair lady herself.
- Yes, indeed.

Tristan, I must congratulate you.

No, Siegfried,
it's I who ought to thank you.

What for?
Oh, I see!

For putting up with you all these years.

I now hand over the burden to you
with the utmost pleasure. Um…?

- Sylvia.
- Sylvia.

Welcome aboard.

- When's the date?
- Date?

- Oh, I thought as soon as possible, yes?
- Oh, yes.

- That's marvellous.
- I say, would you like to go out to dinner?

- I'd love to.
- Just to celebrate.

After surgery,
if that's all right with you, Siegfried?

Yeah, spanking idea.
Tell you what, let me, uh…

sock it to you.

Oh.

(door opens)

- Ah.
- My. You look smart.

Siegfried's obviously
changed for the better in my absence.

- He was setting me up for a nice surprise.
- Oh?

Yes, a bit clever with the psychology
sometimes, is dear old bro.

- You have perked up.
- You know me, take things as they come.

Would you like to come to supper?
The kids are dying to see you.

That's awfully kind of you,
Helen. I'd love to.

But tonight,
tonight I have a prior engagement.

Good afternoon, everybody.

Hello, Tris.

Hello, Susie.

- What on earth's the matter?
- Nothing, nothing.

I'm, uh… fine.
Fine.

You look as if you've seen a ghost. Do you
want me to tell them you're unwell?

No, no.

- I think we ought to get on then, Tris.
- Yes.

Back from the abyss.
Equilibrium restored.

Show in the first client
if you please.

Bert Chapman, if I'm not mistaken.

- Are you sure you're all right?
- Show him in.

Good evening, everyone.
Hello, Susie. How nice to see you.

Hello, Helen.
I see Tris is back.

Yes, he's taking surgery this evening.

Mr Chapman,
Mr Farnon will see you now.

Come on, Susie.
This way.

- Sweet little kitten.
- I just got him for a present.

Thought I'd get him injected.

That won't take long.
Would anyone mind if Susie went in next?

No, Helen.
I'm quite happy waiting till last.

You must remember my Susie, Mr Farnon.

Well, tha did wonders for her
before tha left.

Very kind of you to say so. It is lovely
to see Susie again after all this time.

She really does look in fine fettle.

I don't know what's up with you Farnons.
Always in a tear these days.

- Goodbye, Mr Chapman.
- Mrs Herriot.

Bye. See you again, then.

Tris, Susie Parker's got a new kitten.

It only needs an injection
so I said she could come in next.

I don't like having to say this to you,
but I do think it's most unwise

to interfere with the natural queue.

First come, first served
has always been axiomatic here.

Actually,
I think she wants to see you, really.

- Everyone's happy to let her go first.
- Sorry, Helen, but I'm not.

I can't allow it.
It'd set a dangerous precedent.

Come on, Tris.
So hard of heart for an old flame?

You used to be so fond of her.
And I know she's very fond of you.

Do you remember that village dance?
We often talk about that, Susie and l.

- I think you quite took her fancy.
- Helen.

Oh, come on, Tris. I'm sure she
only wants to welcome you home.

Oh, all right.
Helen, my throat's absolutely parched.

- I wouldn't half be grateful for a tea.
- Yes, of course.

Tell you what, I'll make one for Susie,
too. You'll not be long with the kitten.

She and I can sit in the kitchen and have
a nice chat while you finish surgery.

(phone rings)

Hello, Darrowby 385.

(as MrBiggins) Mr Farnon asked me
to call, Mrs Herriot. Mr Tristan Farnon.

I called into t'surgery
and he had to come with me right away.

He particularly asked me to apologise
to any folk still waiting for surgery,

but I'll be right grateful
if the lad can save me beast.

And Mr Farnon's arrived at your farm
already, has he, Mr Biggins?

Oh, aye, Mrs Herriot.
Mr Farnon's with me cow now.

Gosh, I told Mrs Alton
I'd help her bring some of her things over.

Ah, Helen.

I just found Tristan in a telephone box
pretending to be Biggins.

Ah, yes.

Tris is trying to get out of taking surgery.

Is he? Would you mind telling me
what's going on?

- The card. You remember the card?
- Yes, indeed, I do.

Well, I wrote it,
pretending to be Susie Parker.

- Susie Parker?
- Yes, well, it was James's idea.

It was a joke to remind Tris
of that time at the village dance

when he got so drunk he couldn't
remember if he proposed to her.

So you mean the poor boy
is living in mortal dread

that young Susie is gonna sue him
for breach of promise at any moment?

That's wonderful, Helen, wonderful.

- Well, then who's that other girl?
- What?

The girl he had with him this morning,
the one I thought the card was from.

- His blushing bride, Helen.
- His what?

Well, no wonder he was so reluctant
to confide in us.

I have no idea who the other one is,
but Susie Parker's out there now.

Yes, Tris tried to make her wait until last.
He's terrified. He's panic-stricken.

- Wonderful.
- We might've gone too far.

Nonsense! It's perfect.
We'll have her in straight away.

Susie, my dear, you've had
an inexcusably long wait.

Do please forgive us.
Won't you come in now, please?

- Thank you, Mr Farnon.
- We shan't be long.

My, my.
You are in a hurry.

Yes, I'm sorry I'm a bit early, but, um…

- Hey, steady on there.
- Are you ready for the road?

Actually, it would suit me very well
to go before my sitter arrives.

Oh, but I understood
you had no dependents.

Just a relative who thinks she should keep
an eye on me since my husband passed.

- Let's go before she arrives.
- Your wish is my command.

You know, you're gonna be
just the kind of boss I love to work for.

Lead on, Sir Galahad.

I began to feel quite sorry for poor Susie.

She was oblivious to what was going on,

but she must've wondered why Tris
was jumping like a cat on hot ashes.

The poor boy's completely snapped.

He's a hopeless prey to his guilty
conscience. I do congratulate you both.

Where is he now?

He's not likely
to take this a bit too far, is he?

He said he was going to collect
Mrs Alton's things,

but I happen to know that
he's taking his fiancee out to dinner.

His what?

- Thank you, it's been a lovely evening.
- It's not going to end here, I trust.

Tomorrow, we'll be in Skeldale House,
but tonight we'd be asking for trouble.

You've been asking for trouble all evening.
Why stop now?

There's trouble and trouble, Tristan.

And this is the kind of trouble
we wish to avoid, believe me.

(hums)

Gracious me.

Siegfried!
Thank you, thank you for Mrs Alton.

What a splendid creature she is.

What?

Well, indeed. She…

certainly has a reputation
at the WI for good cookery.

Well, all the better to feed me with.
Ah, she's a woman of parts, indeed.

Tragic that she lost her husband,

yet how philosophically
she has borne that loss.

She'll be the perfect companion for me
here at Skeldale.

Well, I must say I'm delighted
you've come round to my way of thinking.

To be honest, I thought it would take you
a good deal longer to appreciate her.

But you've met her, Siegfried.
She and I have had a little…

yes, I think that's the word,
an intimate chat

and we see eye to eye on most things.

And with her special talent
for flower arranging,

the church will look absolutely splendid.

Uh… well, yes.

Anything that takes the fancy
of the delightful Mrs Alton

will most assuredly take mine.

- (doorbell)
- Ah, that must be her now.

Jolly good.

- Ah, good morning.
- Good morning, Mr Farnon.

- Mrs Alton, welcome to Skeldale House.
- Mrs Alton?

- And who might you be, young man?
- I'm the other Mr Farnon.

I don't believe I've had the pleasure.

I'm the other Mrs Alton,
Sylvia's mother-in-law.

She's led you up the garden path.

I've come to take up my position which
was offered to me as housekeeper

to Mr Tristan Farnon.

Which Mr Siegfried Farnon
offered to me last week.

Lord alive.

Well, what I suggest is…

is…

since there appear to be
misunderstandings on both sides,

I suggest we divide our forces.

Altons to one side
and Farnons to the other.

Would you mind just waiting here, ladies?

I shan't keep you long.

Is there no depth
to which you will not sink?

You allowed me to believe that
that girl was your fiancee.

- My what?
- Bold as brass you sat there.

You told me to see Mrs Alton. It just
happened Sylvia was the Mrs Alton I saw.

- You should've known l…
- I thought it was a favour.

The flower arranging…

You even conned me out of the price of
a dinner to celebrate your engagement.

- Engagement?
- Will you keep your voice down?

Oh, Siegfried. This is your maddest piece
of wish-fulfilment yet.

I thought you just found me
a good housekeeper.

You can't seriously suppose I would've
offered that girl a job looking after you.

You thought of her as my fiancee.

- You deliberately misunderstood me!
- I was pleasantly surprised!

I realise you intended
to find me a jailor, not a housekeeper.

She's the one that's got the job. I'm sorry
the poor woman has been mixed up

in your sordid machinations.

I suppose it's better to be facing a breach
of contract than a breach of promise.

Come on.

Now then, Mrs Alton and, uh…

Mrs Alton.

My brother and I
have discussed this matter

and it is my opinion
that since the primary misunderstanding

between Alton and Farnon

derives in very great measure
from secondary misunderstandings

between Alton and Alton on the one side

and Farnon and Farnon on the other,

that it is the primary contract,

not withstanding
its deficiency in legal plenipotential,

that should be allowed to stand

and any subsequent agreements
between parties of the same name,

howsoever related, should therefore fail.

Uh… whatever you think best, Mr Farnon.

No, it's not my opinion, Mrs Alton,
but the due process of natural justice.

- I take that means I've got the job?
- Let me be the first to congratulate you.

Thank you, Mr Farnon.

Now then, Mrs Alton senior,

allow me to show you your new domain.

Siegfried.

- Sylvia.
- Are you gonna let him walk all over you?

- Sylvia.
- I thought you were master of this house!

- The point is, my brother…
- Don't talk to me, Mr Farnon junior,

until you're prepared to stand
on your own two feet!

Oh!

I have never been so humiliated
in all my born days!

Don't waste my time, Mr Farnon.

I heard the young Mr Farnon had
come back, and I want him to come out.

Now, Mr Biggins, if you've got it
into your head that young Mr Farnon

is a veterinary surgeon
of any quality whatsoever,

Iet me disabuse you
of that idea immediately.

He's nothing more than a slothful,
drunken, incompetent lecher,

who will soon be
seeking employment elsewhere.

It's Tristan pretending to be Biggins again.

- It can't be.
- It is.

I've just left him in the Drovers.

Uh…

Would you hold the line one moment?

He is incapable of holding a glass,
let alone a telephone.

Good God.
Then it's Biggins.

In that case, James, it's for you.

Hello, Mr Biggins.

- Afternoon, Mr Biggins.
- Afternoon, Veterinary.

I've come to see the scoured cow.

Oh, well, she's back at t'farm in Shipton.

Well, I'll pop down and see her, then.

I've, uh…
I've no brace to change t'wheel.

Well. Hammond's garage?
You'll find the number in the book.

Remember that item
that we were discussing on Friday?

- The unpaid bill, you mean?
- Aye.

After you'd gone,
suddenly everything come back to me.

Recollection.

Recollection?
What was it jogged your memory exactly?

I recollected counting out all them
vitamin pills same as I always do.

- Yes?
- Generally, there's one or two missing.

But, on that occasion,
you had the full compliment of 100.

Aye, that's right.

You haven't got your chequebook
with you, have you?

I might have.

- Have you got a wheel brace?
- I might have.

And a jack?

In exchange for a signed cheque,
Mr Biggins.

Thank you.

Ah.
Thank you, Mr Biggins.

Right.

I'll wait while you fix the wheel,
then we'll look at your cow.

Well, there's no need for that.

Perhaps she'll have
come right on her own, eh?

And if there's no visit,

there'll be no bill, eh?

Them next door's got him.

Thank you.

There you are, you see, Veterinary?
We're doing your job.

- This is the missus.
- Afternoon, Veterinary.

Hello.
You're doing a grand job.

Them Birses, they never bathed him once.

- We asked if we could have a go.
- Well, that's fine.

Now then,
just a little bit more on here, Jet lad.

Come on,
let's have this leg now, shall we?

- You haven't missed an inch.
- We heard what you said at t'start.

Them Birses there
wanted to have him put down.

Oh?

But we said we'd get him better.

You can see he appreciates
what you're doing for him.

Right, I brought
some more packs of that wash.

There we are.
Well, he's in good hands, I can see that.

- Thanks.
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Goodbye.

Nosey old beggars. They're always
minding other folks's business.

Nosey? Yes, well, maybe.
But they're very caring, you know?

- They've done wonders for Jet.
- He looks a sight.

It's gonna take a long time.

We can't afford
to keep having you to him all the time.

It's nursing care he's going to need
more than anything else.

If you don't mind my saying,

no one seems to have
much time for him.

Well, kids are always busy now.

I think we'd be better off
having him put down.

I don't think that's necessary, do you?

Especially when people
want to care for him.

- Why don't you let the Howells have him?
- Why should we?

Well,

it's going to be
a very expensive business, you know?

Apart from my visits,
there's all the mange wash to pay for.

And that dog's gonna need a good diet -
fresh meat every day.

Help build him up, see it doesn't recur.

The Howells said
they're willing to foot the bill.

Old fools.

With all that money you save,
you can get yourself another dog

for when you're less… busy.

(hums)

You sound very pleased with yourself.

Do I?
Yes, as a matter of fact, I am, Siegfried.

I have here, somewhere,

a cheque from Mr Biggins.

Signed.
In settlement of 18 months' work.

- Six quarters.
- Good God!

Yes. It took an hour of my time,
but we have Mr Biggins' cheque.

My dear man, domination at last.
I congratulate you, James.

- And that dog I was treating for mange?
- Yes.

- Its owners let the neighbours have it.
- James, cause for celebration indeed.

Siegfried,

James, um…

I really do need to talk to you.

Well, of course, my dear boy.

But you know the shop is hardly the place
for personal confidences, is it?

Tell you what, why don't you go ahead
with James to the Drovers

and I'll follow
just as soon as I've shut up here?

- Yes?
- Yes, all right.

- James.
- Siegfried?

- This cheque of Biggins's…
- Yes?

It's postdated to June of next year.
It's six quarters hence, James.

Hello, Susie.

Mr Herriot.
Oh, Tris. How are you?

- You can say hello to her at least.
- Not now, please.

Come on.
She's a very nice girl.

Susie.
I've brought him to see you.

Hello, Tris. I've been trying
to see you since you got back.

How are you?

Well, things have been
rather traumatic, actually.

You'll soon get used to it,
I'd like to have a chat with you.

Look, I'll catch up with you later, Susie.

Um… I am, in fact,
in rather desperate need of medication.

It's just I've got so much to tell you.

Why is he like that, Mr Herriot?

Never used to be nervous, did he?

- Not a care in the world.
- It's Jet.

- Pardon?
- That dog. He's a patient of mine.

I'll have a word with the owners and then
we'll smoke Tris out the Drovers.

Right you are.

Hello.

First walk with his new owners.

I reckon we've you to thank for that,
Mr Herriot.

It's grand having him.
It was awful being without a dog.

Do you know,
they never took him out at all.

Just let him wander around by his sen.
I don't know why some folk have dogs.

"Come grow old along with me,

the best is yet to be."

That's it, Mr Herriot.
That poem's got it just right.

Hm.

Well, I'll see you soon, eh?

Susie.

I got a bit sloshed,

famously paralytic to be precise,
then I went to lreland.

Now I'm back, I'm being asked
to marry the girl. Is that fair?

- Life's never fair, though, mate, is it?
- Want another?

Ta, mate.
You're doing about three to my one.

Oh, look.
There he is at the bar with my Joe.

- Oh. Is that your husband?
- Yeah.

Gosh. Why don't you sit down here
and I'll bring them over to you?

I'll just have a quick word with Tris first.

Yeah.
You can't be too careful, mate.

I just don't see why, after two years
nearly, I should have to face marriage.

- Tris, a word.
- Oh, hello, James.

I'm just having a quick drink
with my friend.

Thank you.

Couple of years, eh? It's about that
I've been away from my lady.

Really?
You live here in Darrowby, do you?

She comes from here.
I'm from Leytonstone, East London.

- We met up here at a forces dance.
- Really? I used to go to a lot of those.

- I might know her. What's her name?
- Tris, listen.

James, please.
Just hang on.

Gentlemen, your services are required

in the execution of professional duties.

Splendid.

Like I said before,
the only safe way is to dope t'beggar.

Now, I can't imagine that my brother
would recommend a chemical solution

to a simple question of authority.

- All right, how much am I bet?
- You'll undertake it alone?

- I bet you a fiver I can do it.
- Tenner you can't.

- Now, wait a minute.
- (Tris) 15.

- 20.
- 25.

Mr Farnon, it's more than
t'animal's worth.

Oh, he's worth more than that to me, Tom.

Five, ten,

15, 20,

25.

- Three large whiskies, please, Den.
- And paid, let me tell you, under protest.

The normal rules of gambling
preclude divine intervention.

Tris, I've tracked you down at last.

Gosh! Susie.
What a surprise.

- I've been wanting to tell you something.
- Yes, I know, but…

I missed you after you went away.
You could've written.

Not long after, I went to one of the dances
up at the camp and I met Joe.

Well, he's been in the army for a while.
He's just got back.

I know you've already met,
but I want you to be friends.

But… but…

Tristan Farnon, Joe Manton.

My husband.

Well!

Congratulations!

- Drinks all round, Tris?
- Hm?

Thanks, Den.