Original subtitles

©English subtitle by iQIYI *Ripped by JinHan_27* *Main cast by Yao Chi & Chen Yu Si*

At the patient's own request,

he wants to confide in you himself.

As for the rest,

it's all in the letter.

But as a psychiatrist,

I want to make it clear to you that

mental illnesses

are the same as physical illnesses like colds and fevers.

Don't think of it as something odd.

Our patient

keeps it a secret

because he's afraid of

prejudiced eyes.

But

Xiao Bai trusted you so much.

You must have done well enough

to enter his world.

As his attending,

I want to thank you.

Thank you, doc.

Who're you?

I know it's not a funny way to start.

But at least

it can make this letter

less like a suicide note looking back on my life.

My mother

was a rising star in the Beijing Opera circle.

She was once famous for her role as Yu Ji,

attracting countless audiences.

My father Bai Juyuan

was one of them.

Unfortunately, their love

was eventually worn away by the trifles of life.

My father got busier and busier,

and spent less and less time

at home.

One table.

Three meals.

But dad's meal

was never eaten.

My mother had been depressed

since I was born.

It became more and more difficult

for her to heal,

like a broken glass.

For a long, long time,

I hadn't seen

her smile.

I could no longer feel

the whole happy planet she gave me

as she held me in her arms.

When I was in primary school,

my classmates often laughed at me for looking like a girl.

In the graduation performance, they deliberately asked me to play the role of a girl.

I wept it out to my mother,

and I remember

everything

she said then.

In the operas I sung,

boys can play Dan,

and senior roles can be played by girls.

In the world of art,

beauty has nothing to do with gender.

Those who laugh at you

are cowards

and do not understand beauty.

My boy, Xiao Bai,

should be brave.

You deserve to be

the most beautiful Ophelia in the graduation yearbook.

Even if you are a princess,

you will always be the best

in my eyes.

The graduation performance was a success,

and I was happy.

I didn't expect that

it was the last straw

breaking my family.

Dad flew into a rage

because I was wearing a dress.

That was the first time

mom knew

dad was seeing someone else.

The jigsaw puzzle of the family

was completely loose

and falling.

After that,

dad brought a strange aunt to our home.

At the same time, I began to hear voices in the closet

and see my mother in her costume

walking around the house.

I told dad about this.

But he sent me to the hospital.

After taking those colored pills in the hospital,

I could not see my mother.

I was the same as my mother at that time,

felt no joys or sorrows.

Then I went to Zhan Garden.

I also got regular psychological counseling

in addition to medication.

I told myself,

for the sake of mother,

I will try to be

a braver

and stronger person.

I just didn't have the confidence.

Can the runway for myself alone

have a different end with my mother's?

You're different.

You've always been brave

and relaxed,

with an uncompromising instinct.

I believe

the same is true for family love.

Wherever she is,

she's in our hearts.

You're never surprised

by my vulnerability.

Don't go.

I'm here.

You didn't try to break my shell,

you just kept telling me

it's okay.

I have a disease

that makes me very afraid of

some certain things.

Is that a disease?

Even a superhero

must be afraid of some things.

Because of you,

the fears that had overwhelmed me

didn't seem so terrible anymore.

I hope to

go step by step

with you.

I hope that

I can protect you

when you need me.

I was gratified

but

new fears rose.

Can I protect you?

Will you accept

all of me?

Can I

take you

to the world beyond the runway?

What are you doing?

I...

I'm writing about

how my assets will be divided

if something

happens to me.

The props in Jiubai

and comic books?

Well... As for the South Song,

I wonder if you could leave it to me.

I

will leave them to Cang.

Agreed.

Well...

I wonder if

you could leave yourself to me.

How's that?

If I ask you to stay with me

and never leave,

would it be too much pressure for you?

You're the biggest surprise of my life.

Because of you,

I am no longer strong.

I'm scared

even at the happiest times.

This second

is running out.

It's very brave of you

to make it this far.

But don't be selfish

in the future.

No matter who you are,

if you feel tired,

let me share your woe,

okay?

You used to be in the training room

at this hour.

What's wrong with you today?

After you was invited to Talking Stage,

you think you have mastered your skills

and need no practice, don't you?

Mr. Nan,

I have something to tell you.

Go ahead.

I was able to get

the opportunity of acting in Golden Age of Spring and Autumn Period

because of Lou Shi...

because of Mr. Lou.

You were right.

I pulled some strings.

If I act on stage due to the shortcut,

I won't even deserve to be a training partner.

So

I want to quit the rehearsal.

I appreciate your kindness.

There will be ample time.

I hope we can work together again.

I wish you all the best.

There's nothing I can do with you.

You've been rebelling too long.

I didn't want to hire senior female roles.

I kept you around so long,

because

you kept proving to me

what you could do. Do you understand?

Even so, I don't want it to be because of Mr. Lou.

Wait, stop, stop, stop.

Who told you

it was Lou Shitang that recommended you?

I think it's good.

It still needs some changes.

What changes?

Guanjiu.

Your mouth...

Mouth?

What's wrong with my mouth?

Are you two...

Nothing happened between us.

Nothing happened between us.

Zhuang Sheng.

It's your turn.

Hao Shi, you neglect neither work nor love.

Nice.

Guanjiu.

Are we going public with our relationship?

Of course not.

Just do your work.

Okay.

Daydream Space, a shrine for rehearsal.

Here comes milk tea for all of you.

I wonder if someone could move this box.

I... Let me, let me. Have some rest.

Or I'm afraid there won't be enough room when guests arrive.

If it weren't for this bright-eyes makeup,

I would have fallen asleep.

Do my makeup next time.

Okay.

I'll wait for you next time.

This pumpkin

is pretty good.

I can't believe he's going to Tom Ford's alma mater.

Thank you.

This little gift is a token of my regard.

Thank you

for recommending me for Golden Age of Spring and Autumn Period.

You're welcome.

It's nothing.

We just think Nan Huaiming

is getting old.

We were afraid he wouldn't be able to find you in the crowd,

so we just pushed it.

Thank you.

Is Bai Feili okay,

after he's discharged from hospital?

He's good.

In fact, we are very experienced

in dealing with his situation.

Only this time...

Yu, thank you.

Maybe it was because you helped him

that he started

receiving help and treatment,

instead of

forcing himself to bite the bullet.

Thank you.

If it wasn't for you,

I probably

wouldn't have met him,

and he wouldn't have

walked up to me.

You must be the world's

most powerful grandparents,

so that Bai Feili

can grow up smoothly.

Yu,

anyway,

you're the key to Bai Feili's

recovery right now.

Yes.

It's me.

You don't have to open the door.

I just want to

sit here for a while.

Today

I came with

the star launcher.

I want to

talk to it here.

Knock on the door

if you agree,

and we'll be on the same page.

Sorry.

I

speak

slowly now.

Don't worry.

It's because of the medicine.

I

want

to

hug you.

Does your hand

still hurt?

It's okay now.

You don't have to do anything.

I'm gonna focus on

talking to the star.

Star,

don't be angry with me.

Some time ago,

I had a quarrel with Bai Feili,

and took back his right of using star

without his knowledge.

Because of this,

I missed so many of his secrets.

But somehow,

with his gifts,

he became the one

who understood me the best.

But now I know

what he's afraid of.

Maybe

it was a kind of schadenfreude.

But now I finally have

a whole Bai Feili.

When I hug him,

I no longer have to be cautious,

afraid of touching his wound.

The face of it

is the beginning of healing.

That's what Bai Feili taught me.

I can protect you.

This time,

let me protect you.

I will protect you

and accompany you.

Yes.

Sis,

I made the boots.

There you are.

Come and try them on.

So soon?

Good for you.

Hao Shi, you've grown up.

Only my Guanjiu can pet me.

Little kid, are you fledged?

After you go to Parsons,

call home more often.

I'm not going.

Now it is a difficult time for Jiubai.

I want to stay here

and face the difficulties together with Guanjiu.

Guanjiu is top 2.

If you don't study in the famous school

and make a name for yourself,

no one will want to face difficulties with you.

Anyway, I'll figure it out for myself.

I'm not a kid anymore.

What pictures are you taking? What's the point?

You don't understand.

This is the sky today.

The little sun is my gift to you.

You're welcome.

Some loves are wrong,

but the lovers are destined to be

a couple.

Next one, Li Shaoyan.

It's good to have competition.

Even you have the sense of crisis now.

Good.

Okay. Let's call it a day.

We'll have the final election by the end of next month.

Please be there on time.

Let's call it a day.

Okay. Thank you.

Let's go.

Well... Thank you.

Next time character A will be decided.

We'll see what happens on the stage.

Seriously,

you're the best match

I've ever had.

How are you doing, Miss Yu?

Are you free for a chat tonight?

The fourth fusion of Rock.

Miss Yu, have a try.

No need.

This is yours.

I gotta go.

Miss Yu, you seem to

have grown up a lot lately.

It's only been a while.

I thought you were a high-minded person,

but I didn't expect you to attach yourself to

the son of Shang&Shan Group.

Man struggles upwards; water flows downwards.

It's human nature.

I just think

it's a shame.

You don't seem to

have a very good taste.

In terms of opera actors, you loved Ni Lin,

who has a handsome appearance

but is pedantic and boring.

Shandengting is about to close down.

The money needed was sent to him.

But he sent it back intact.

Out of opera,

you love Bai Feili,

a boy having no bright future.

Well, before,

he could rely on his family.

But now Bai Juyuan

will be put in prison.

Without his father

and Shang&Shan Group,

you tell me,

what else can he do?

What are you trying to say?

I've always looked up to you, Miss Yu.

But that also depends on

whether you take this quill.

I'm a good judge of character.

I don't usually let go of

things I like.

Just like

when we first met,

I believe we're the same kind of person,

a person who needs to succeed,

a person who wants to succeed,

a person who's willing to do

whatever it takes to succeed.

And you

are the one

who can succeed.

So like I said,

I'll give you a leg up

to help you succeed.

You'll give me a leg up

to help me succeed.

What then?

Like charity and Peking Opera,

I'll become another tool of your snobbery.

Sorry,

you may have the wrong person.

I don't need anyone to give me a leg up.

Because I am who I am.

I'm Yu Fei.

I don't need any help from anyone else.

Because my voice

is loud enough.

Do you just want to watch

Shandengting close down and do nothing?

Shandengting won't close down.

What about Shang&Shan Group?

Let me tell you

why Bai Feili came to me the other day,

and why he was willing to

sing for my party at home.

Because the fate of Shang&Shan Group

and the future of his father

are under my control.

So

you used Bai Feili's father as bait

to lure him there,

and humiliated him in public.

You treat art like a toy for fun.

Is that your so-called "leg up"?

I think you know nothing about art,

much less love.

Love?

Love is

when there is mutual benefit.

You mean one-sided use and destruction.

That's a loser's excuse

for himself.

Only those who succeed

can see the beautiful world.

So

you already knew what happened to Bai Feili.

He's got that disease,

but still forced himself to do that.

I didn't expect that

he really plunged

his sword.

You don't deserve to mention Bai Feili's name.

Do you think you can leave here?

She can.

She is the daughter of professor Shang in our department.

Freshman girl.

Pretty, huh?

Don't you often write poetry?

Let me borrow it.

Your lunch is on me all semester.

All semester.

Hello there.

Hello.

I regret it.

I thought

I could see you from a distance.

It's my fault.

I shouldn't have let him have you.

I

am gonna make Bai pay.

Boss.

Mr. Lou.

Why did you let them go?

You're still here?

I'll

take care of it.

It's really a good thing.

A thing everyone likes.

Isn't it reasonable

to trade your most convenient item

for your favorite?

That thing

will be sent to the right person.

And it's gonna

take its due effect.

A month later

it will be different.

Here.

You can use this.

Thank you, Mr. Lou.