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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,231 Are you absolutely positive everything's all right? 2 00:00:56,320 --> 00:00:58,357 You're fine. Get dressed. 3 00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,791 - You wouldn't take another look? - Nope. 4 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:03,831 - (Phone rings) - Just to make sure. 5 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:05,871 We're finished here. 6 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:09,231 - Hello? - No offense, but you are a man. 7 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,432 And I don't know that you know all that much about er... 8 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:15,598 - (Phone rings) - know more about it than you do. 9 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:19,235 Doc, I think it would be better for all concerned if you sent me to a specialist. 10 00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:22,113 When there's something wrong, I'll be only too pleased to. 11 00:01:22,160 --> 00:01:23,480 - I think... - Good day. 12 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:53,874 - Kept me waiting 20 minutes. - Put that cigarette out. 13 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:30,751 Doc? 14 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,189 - We're here. - Mm. 15 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,551 - Here he is. - Here's Daddy. 16 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,070 - All right, Doc? - About time too. I've been calling you. 17 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:50,111 - I know you have. - It's just, you know... 18 00:02:50,160 --> 00:02:52,674 my duty to get you down that aisle on time. 19 00:02:52,720 --> 00:02:56,111 - You are not my best man. - Let's not put a title on it, eh? 20 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:59,589 - I thought you were getting changed. - I did. 21 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,796 Doc. Now, can I give you a word of advice? 22 00:03:02,840 --> 00:03:04,831 - No. - Something that my father used to... 23 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:06,075 Really, no. 24 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:08,430 I think I've said all I have to say on the subject. 25 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:12,030 - Yes, you have. - But as one of your last few surviving relatives... 26 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:14,390 - Ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh, ssh! - All right. 27 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:17,914 - Is she here yet? - She's on her way. 28 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:18,677 Probably. 29 00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:22,270 Don't worry about a thing, Doc. Just get yourself inside. 30 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,311 Doc? Wait. 31 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:27,596 Bet you thought I'd forgotten, right? 32 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:32,751 Thank you. 33 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,111 (Meditative organ music) 34 00:04:02,120 --> 00:04:05,351 15 minutes late. That's not... that's not long for a bride. 35 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,835 - I know. - Mind you, about a month ago, 36 00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,996 we had a man standing right there... 37 00:04:10,040 --> 00:04:12,429 15 minutes, 30, 38 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,551 an hour, two hours. 39 00:04:14,600 --> 00:04:16,830 I think we hit three before the penny dropped. 40 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:20,236 Apparently, she'd run off with the best man. 41 00:04:20,280 --> 00:04:22,715 Don't have to worry about that with me, Doc. 42 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:24,751 Would you...sit down, please? 43 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,596 (Whistles We'll Meet Again) 44 00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:01,234 & WAGNER: Wedding March from Lohengrin 45 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,320 Sorry. Had a bit of trouble with my hair. 46 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:30,351 Oh. I know. I mean... 47 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:32,198 It's...it's fine. 48 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:35,871 (Whispers) You're nervous. 49 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,069 - No. - Yeah. Me, too. 50 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:39,273 - Who are all these people? - Guests. 51 00:05:39,320 --> 00:05:40,390 (Clears his throat) 52 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:44,751 Barely beloved... 53 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:47,519 we are gathered here.. today... 54 00:05:47,560 --> 00:05:51,952 .to bless the joining of this man and woman in holy matrimony. 55 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:56,951 Marriage is not to be entered into lightly... 56 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,991 but reverently. 57 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,836 Which means you have to be sure. 58 00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:04,914 We are. 59 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,315 Both of you? 60 00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:09,351 (Curtly) Yes. 61 00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:16,469 If anyone present can show just cause why they should not be lawfully married, 62 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:19,478 speak now, or forever hold your peace. 63 00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:22,751 - (Baby cries) - (Laughter) 64 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,274 "Out of the mouths of babes..." 65 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,311 In which case... 66 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,478 Do you, Louisa Roberta Glasson 67 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,557 take Martin Christopher Ellingham 68 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,035 to be your lawful wedded husband? 69 00:06:39,040 --> 00:06:41,031 Yes, I do. 70 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,799 - And do you, Martin Ellingham... - Yes, I do. 71 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,796 Hm. Does the best man have the ring? 72 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,111 No. 73 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,314 With this ring I thee... 74 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:03,632 Yes. Right. We're not quite ready for the putting on the finger bit. But er... 75 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:06,353 Apparently, we are! 76 00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:09,040 So, by the power invested in me, 77 00:07:09,080 --> 00:07:13,074 I now pronounce you...man and wife. 78 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,111 CONGREGATION: Aww. 79 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,431 You may kiss the bride. 80 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,111 (Cheering and applause) 81 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,711 (Cheering) 82 00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:19,671 Oh, Ruth, thank you. 83 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,075 I can't believe I'm married. 84 00:08:22,120 --> 00:08:24,350 - Do I look married? - Now you do! 85 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:28,831 A day to remember. 86 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,435 (Gasps) Katy, you made it. That's so brilliant. You're here. 87 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,673 - Not quite up to our standard, boy. - Pretty tasty, though. 88 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:39,950 As a dog's hind leg. 89 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:43,152 Thought I'd er... come over and pay my respects, Doc. 90 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,350 Thank you. 91 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,198 You've got a real beauty there. 92 00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,709 - Yes. - I need you to have a look at my leg. 93 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:53,878 - It's er...it's been clicking. - For God's sake. Of course not! 94 00:08:53,920 --> 00:08:55,957 Make an appointment! 95 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:58,317 I'm not drunk. Who said I was drunk? 96 00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:03,597 Why did you invite Chippy Miller? 97 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,314 - He's hardly a close friend. - I didn't invite him. 98 00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:09,079 In fact, a lot of people here weren't invited. 99 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,114 Well, better move them on, then. 100 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,959 No, it's nice them showing up. They're wishing us well. 101 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,991 - It's nice. - They're not thinking about us. 102 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,600 They're thinking about free food and cider. 103 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,519 Well, it's the way things work round here, Martin. 104 00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:24,996 You might've wanted a nice, quiet reception. But the village didn't. 105 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,590 If they're so determined to have a party, why don't we just leave them to it? 106 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:31,439 You have been to a wedding before, haven't you? 107 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,869 There's the cake-cutting and the dancing to go yet. 108 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:36,514 - Yeah. Just a bit longer. - Yes, OK. 109 00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,631 - (Tapping of glass) - Ladies and gentlemen. 110 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:43,551 Hello? 111 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:45,591 (Laughter) 112 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,560 Today...a great man... 113 00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:59,111 ...a great physician... 114 00:09:59,160 --> 00:10:01,549 and the greatest thing to happen to Portwenn 115 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:03,955 since the new parking area at the beach... 116 00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,991 (Laughter) 117 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:09,799 - ...married... - You're a tosser! Get off! 118 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:17,631 ...married...one of our natural treasures. 119 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,031 Louisa Glasson. 120 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:25,153 There were a few roadblocks and diversion's en route. 121 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,389 And a quick stopover at the maternity ward. 122 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,791 The baby... 123 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:34,829 But happily, they have arrived at their destination. 124 00:10:34,880 --> 00:10:37,793 - Oh, please! Sit down! - Ssh! 125 00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,231 - Back in 1984 ... - (Inaudible) 126 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,231 ...Tina Turner asked the question... 127 00:10:46,280 --> 00:10:49,989 What's love got to do...got to do with it? 128 00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,710 - And the answer is... - Go! 129 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:56,751 (Romantic song begins) 130 00:10:56,800 --> 00:10:59,474 Bert? Bert, I haven't finished my speech. 131 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:01,477 Go on, Doc! 132 00:11:01,520 --> 00:11:03,636 (Shouts of encouragement) 133 00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:06,399 But ...I got some good jokes. 134 00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:10,672 - I think that's meant for us. - Is it mandatory? 135 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:13,394 You don't have to if you don't want to, Martin. 136 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:15,431 (Song plays) 137 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:17,517 (Cheering) 138 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,391 I may be a touch rusty. 139 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:25,431 (Whispers) Not very good. 140 00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:28,472 ♪ ..can feel something 141 00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:34,276 ♪ As you lie here by my side 142 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:36,789 I learnt at school. It was compulsory. 143 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,713 (Groans) 144 00:11:42,760 --> 00:11:45,070 That was your foot! Sorry. It's been a while. 145 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:47,111 - It's OK. - Sorry. 146 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:52,472 ♪ But l just want to know that you feel this like I do 147 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:54,909 Did you have dance lessons when you were a child? 148 00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,280 No. 149 00:11:56,800 --> 00:11:58,313 I thought not. 150 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:04,714 ♪ But baby can you tell me that this ain't what you do 151 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:10,153 ♪ When you feel like there's... - (Song drowns out speech) 152 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:12,919 ♪ Then I think to myself... 153 00:12:12,960 --> 00:12:14,678 (Song drowns out speech) 154 00:12:16,440 --> 00:12:18,033 What? 155 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,960 - They're plotting something. - Oh, God. I hope it's nothing embarrassing. 156 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,676 - Why don't we leave, while we still can? - Yes. Good. 157 00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:30,912 ♪ These emotions breaking down... 158 00:12:41,400 --> 00:12:43,994 Ah. You are not going to get off that easy, my lovers. 159 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,031 We have a surprise for you. 160 00:12:46,080 --> 00:12:48,071 Can't have a wedding without a honeymoon. 161 00:12:48,120 --> 00:12:51,192 - Martin! Was this your idea? - Absolutely not. 162 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:55,359 So we have all chipped in and you'll be whisked away in this fabulous vehicle 163 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,994 to a luxury vacation with all the trimmings. 164 00:12:58,040 --> 00:13:00,509 And I'm perfectly capable of looking after him. 165 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,551 Oh, Ruth. I...I don't know. 166 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,716 It's only for one night, dear. 167 00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:07,354 He won't feel you've abandoned him. And even if he does, 168 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,516 he's far too young to remember any of it. 169 00:13:09,560 --> 00:13:11,870 Oh. Just one night? 170 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,639 - Bags all packed and ready to go. - In the boot. 171 00:13:14,680 --> 00:13:18,719 - What, you've been in our bedroom? - Rifling through your ironed boxer shorts! 172 00:13:18,760 --> 00:13:19,591 What? 173 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,234 And Large Restaurant has donated a fully stocked hamper 174 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,591 to get your honeymoon night off with a bang, Doc. 175 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,995 Oh! Martin? Can we? 176 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,430 (Stutters) If...if you... 177 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,313 - If you really want to. - Quick! Before he changes his mind. 178 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:41,515 Bye-bye, James. Now, Ruth, thank you so much. 179 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:43,870 Now, listen. There's food in the fridge. 180 00:13:43,920 --> 00:13:47,834 He likes banana custard. But don't give him the spoon, or you'll be sorry. 181 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:51,350 - He's not been sleeping very well. - Yes, dear. You've already told me. 182 00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,630 You might want to try a vigorous rocking motion. 183 00:13:53,680 --> 00:13:55,671 No, not too...not too hard, though. 184 00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,439 And he loves his purple dinosaur. It's the little one on the bed. 185 00:13:58,480 --> 00:13:59,311 Yes. 186 00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:03,395 - Mind your dress. - Bye! 187 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:06,114 Doc, I didn't finish my speech. I've got this great joke. 188 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,720 This man goes to the doctor. He says, "Doctor, Doctor..." 189 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:09,795 (Cheering) 190 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,990 " I think I need glasses." 191 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,671 Leave that, Doc. 192 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,471 (Laughter) 193 00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:28,071 You've got caught up... 194 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:30,791 ow! 195 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:35,911 Doc? 196 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,438 So, Bert. Where are you taking us? 197 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,790 You two lovebirds just sit back and enjoy the ride. 198 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:45,673 - This is your day. - Just tell us where we're going, Bert. 199 00:14:45,720 --> 00:14:47,393 I don't want to ruin the surprise, Doc. 200 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,671 Let's just say it's the most romantic spot in the whole of Cornwall. 201 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,234 It comes with a Bert Large stamp of approval. 202 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:55,829 - It doesn't exactly fill me with confidence! - 'Ere. 203 00:14:55,880 --> 00:15:00,192 I had my honeymoon in this lodge. That's how deep the personal guarantee goes. 204 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:02,277 Oh, right. So we're staying in a lodge. 205 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:03,276 (Groans) 206 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:06,358 Great! That's the surprise ruined. 207 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:08,876 Well, I hope you're happy with yourselves. 208 00:15:11,440 --> 00:15:13,750 I don't think I've ever been out this way before. 209 00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:16,519 That's the beauty of it. Isolated, romantic. 210 00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:18,551 No-one around to disturb you. 211 00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:21,353 I spent my entire honeymoon...naked. 212 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:23,550 - Oh, Ben! - 'Twas the wife's idea. 213 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,911 She said, "Bert, we're married now. The nearest house is a mile away. 214 00:15:26,960 --> 00:15:30,874 Why do we need clothes for?" Like Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden. 215 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:32,911 (Bert prattles on faintly) 216 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:56,869 'Ere. Not much further. You'll see. 217 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,911 Hidden treasure, this. 218 00:16:16,520 --> 00:16:18,511 - There we are. - Oh... 219 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:21,757 This is perfect, Bert! Thank you so much. 220 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,718 Well, it certainly looks all right from the outside. 221 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,752 Champagne and nibbles, just to keep you ticking over. 222 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:30,791 Oh, how romantic. 223 00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:34,595 - Thank you. - We'll sort out the money later, Doc. 224 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:38,153 - I thought you said this was a gift. - Well, yes. Of course. 225 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:40,669 But a whip-round only goes so far. 226 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,836 And you're no doubt lining your own pocket. 227 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:46,919 Now. I'll be back in the morning... to pick you both up. 228 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,395 - How much? - Don't do anything I wouldn't do. 229 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,552 - How much is this going to cost us? - Cheers and gone. 230 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:56,479 Bert! Stop! 231 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,551 Bert! Stop! 232 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:03,355 - Martin... - Bert! Idiot! 233 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,791 - I'm sure it won't be that much. - He's driven off with our luggage. 234 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:12,629 We've got no clothes to change into, or even toothbrushes. 235 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,914 It's only for a night. I'm sure we can rough it. 236 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,951 Come on. Let's have a look inside. 237 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,435 - Yes. - Oh, look! 238 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,472 It's so beautiful, Martin. Look! 239 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,072 - It's so kind of them. - Oh, God! 240 00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:30,711 Oh, God! 241 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:38,631 Oh! 242 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,357 Oh, isn't it lovely, Martin? 243 00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,911 It's a pleasant surprise. 244 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:53,871 Oh. No signal. 245 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,430 No telephone either, by the looks of things. 246 00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,756 Even better! 247 00:18:00,960 --> 00:18:02,951 Listen. 248 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,991 What? 249 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,031 Nothing. 250 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,869 Nothing at all. No noise. 251 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,314 No traffic, no moaning patients, 252 00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:17,590 no crying babies. 253 00:18:18,640 --> 00:18:20,631 Just you... 254 00:18:20,680 --> 00:18:22,671 and me. 255 00:18:27,680 --> 00:18:29,671 - What are you doing? - Er.. 256 00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:34,316 Nothing. I was just... Nothing. 257 00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,671 Good. 258 00:18:38,680 --> 00:18:40,671 Well, hello... 259 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,791 husband. 260 00:18:42,840 --> 00:18:44,831 Hello... 261 00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,311 ...Mrs. Ellingham. 262 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,231 I light a fire. 263 00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,191 And I'll open that bottle of champagne. 264 00:19:25,760 --> 00:19:27,751 Whatever you say. 265 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,831 I didn't say anything. 266 00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:35,631 I know. 267 00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:41,716 Just a bite. 268 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,153 Just one..little...mouthful. 269 00:19:45,200 --> 00:19:47,191 That's all. Hm? Huh? 270 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:53,590 Oh, come on. Your continuous refusal is frankly bordering on the antisocial. 271 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:57,471 Look at his big smile. 272 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:00,557 He likes it. Hm? 273 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:04,470 Mm! It's delicious! 274 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,875 Mm! Oh...God! 275 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:09,917 I stand corrected. It's disgusting! 276 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,076 Well, at least it shows you have good taste. 277 00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,351 Why do men always want to build a fire? 278 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,954 Maybe it's just a caveman thing. 279 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:27,351 Actually, it's lucky there was so much kindling. The important thing is 280 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,960 to get it as hot as possible as soon as possible. 281 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,276 Warm up the flue...get it drawing. 282 00:20:32,320 --> 00:20:34,880 To counteract the...air sink. 283 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,235 Maybe caveman wasn't the right choice of word! 284 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:43,511 Cheers. 285 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,551 Yes. 286 00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:53,031 Do you remember the first day we met? 287 00:20:53,080 --> 00:20:55,071 I do. 288 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:58,033 - Acute glaucoma. - You made me wear an eye patch. 289 00:20:58,080 --> 00:21:00,310 - And I felt like a pirate. - Mm. 290 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:02,351 Of course, the er... 291 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:05,597 alternate treatment is to apply a parrot to your shoulder! 292 00:21:05,640 --> 00:21:07,631 That was a joke, Martin! 293 00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,551 - Yes. - Very good. 294 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,031 (Coughs) Sorry. 295 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:20,156 (Coughs) It's not you. It's the smoke. 296 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:23,477 - Oh, the chimney's blocked. - Did you open the damper? 297 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:27,070 - What damper? - It's like a kind of flap with a handle. 298 00:21:27,120 --> 00:21:29,111 - I know what a damper is. - (Coughs) 299 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,076 Martin, be careful! I'll get the kettle. 300 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:34,157 That won't put it out! 301 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,192 See if you can find a fire extinguisher! 302 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,950 - I'm looking for something. - Quickly! 303 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,030 Martin, that's our champagne! 304 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,594 Er..yes. 305 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:48,313 Agh! 306 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,351 (Coughs) 307 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:01,033 - You all right? - I'm so sorry. (Giggles) 308 00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,356 - What? - A thing here. 309 00:22:03,400 --> 00:22:06,074 Oh. Got it? 310 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,550 Right. Come on. 311 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,353 - Wait. Where are you going? - That house that we passed. 312 00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:15,358 Private telephone. Call Bert. We need our luggage. 313 00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,960 I'm not exactly dressed for a hike, am I? 314 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:21,675 You can't stay. The place is awash with bronchial irritants. It needs to air. 315 00:22:21,720 --> 00:22:24,360 Martin, it's getting dark. And look. It's foggy. 316 00:22:24,400 --> 00:22:26,391 Please. Can't we just stay here? 317 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,431 (Harrumphs) 318 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,313 Martin? What are you doing? Martin? 319 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:34,751 - Oh! - (Coughing) 320 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,431 - Seriously? - Come on. 321 00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:41,471 OK. Well... 322 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:44,956 I suppose a walk in the country might be romantic, sort of. 323 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:46,035 Martin? 324 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,310 - Come on! - Martin? 325 00:22:49,360 --> 00:22:51,271 (Growls) 326 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,311 - Martin! - Buck up! 327 00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,951 Martin? 328 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:02,397 - Martin! - What? 329 00:23:02,440 --> 00:23:03,953 You keep getting ahead of me! 330 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,276 I'm just looking for the road. I thought I heard a car. 331 00:23:06,320 --> 00:23:08,789 - Did you find it? - No. 332 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:10,831 Cos I'm sure it's the other way. 333 00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,918 Look, logically, if we stick to the path, we can't go wrong. 334 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:18,670 Of course. Because nothing about a long- distance hike in a wedding dress is at all wrong! 335 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,919 Can you please slow down? I just can't keep up. 336 00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:25,590 It's just a question of taking longer strides. 337 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,029 - I'm wearing heels, Martin. - Yes. Right. 338 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,071 Take my arm. 339 00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:33,071 Just try and keep step with me. 340 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,151 - Steady rhythm. - Fine! 341 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,511 (Baby crying) 342 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:41,551 You must sleep. 343 00:23:42,200 --> 00:23:45,158 It aids neural development. 344 00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,631 (Crying) 345 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:55,559 All the other babies are doing it right now. 346 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:57,750 Do you want to fall behind the other children? 347 00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,791 (Crying stops) 348 00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,589 There you go! 349 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,360 Now you're getting the idea. 350 00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:10,871 There. 351 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:18,310 - (Baby resumes crying) - Oh, bugger! 352 00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,312 - Well, we're definitely going the wrong way. - No, we're not. 353 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:24,715 When we drove in, the trees were on the left. 354 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:27,115 And now there are trees all around us. 355 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:29,231 I'm not certain that's correct. 356 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:31,590 We're in the middle of a forest, Martin. 357 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,359 Well, strictly speaking, it isn't a forest, it's a wood. 358 00:24:34,400 --> 00:24:36,516 Seriously? Is that your argument? 359 00:24:37,520 --> 00:24:40,353 You're going the wrong way and the best you can do is split hairs... 360 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:41,435 - Ssh! - No, not... 361 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,436 Ssh! 362 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,471 There's someone out there. 363 00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:48,310 Hello? 364 00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:50,351 - Who's there? - (Rustling) 365 00:24:51,360 --> 00:24:52,794 Show yourself! 366 00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:59,517 All right, I've had enough. I want this to stop instantly. This is my final warning! 367 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:02,158 Oh, God! 368 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,989 - Stupid animal! - You're really not the outdoor type, are you? 369 00:25:06,040 --> 00:25:08,031 Shoo! 370 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:11,839 (Sighs with relief) Right. Now let's find that telephone. 371 00:25:13,200 --> 00:25:15,191 - Martin, careful! - (Screams) 372 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:19,152 Sorry. I thought I saw a rabbit. I didn't want you to get a fright 373 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:21,714 or to get into a confrontation with it, or anything! 374 00:25:21,760 --> 00:25:24,832 - (Mimics Martin) "This is my final warning!" - Yes. 375 00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:26,871 "Show yourself!" 376 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,036 - (Laughs) - I was trying to protect you. 377 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:31,078 "Final warning"! 378 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:38,479 - Ah. - Oh, you took your time. 379 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:43,117 Sorry. Dad wouldn't let me go without a short course in electrical health and safety. 380 00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:45,436 So, what's the problem? 381 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:47,391 The lights have blown! 382 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,511 Ah. 383 00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:54,950 In all likelihood, there's probably a short somewhere. 384 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:57,389 Did you erm...did you turn anything on? 385 00:25:57,440 --> 00:25:59,511 A kettle? Ah. 386 00:25:59,560 --> 00:26:02,473 - No, nothing. Just the dishwasher. - Dishwasher? 387 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,911 Yeah. Er... 388 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,634 - Can you fix it? - If I had the proper equipment... 389 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,631 Probably not. 390 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:15,194 So the baby and I stay in the dark until the morning. 391 00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,231 (Baby grizzles) 392 00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,271 I'll make a call. 393 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:26,192 I think we might possibly... er, have taken a wrong turning. 394 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:29,198 Well, I have been saying that for the past 50 minutes, Martin. 395 00:26:37,120 --> 00:26:39,111 Well, it doesn't seem like it's too deep. 396 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:41,151 I'm not wading across it. 397 00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:44,356 Well, we have to keep going in a straight line. 398 00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:46,596 Otherwise, we'll start to go round in circles. 399 00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:48,995 And I'm still not wading across it, Martin. No. 400 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:53,836 All right, then. I'll...I'll carry you. 401 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:55,830 - Really? - Yes. 402 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:56,836 Sure? 403 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:58,871 Erm... 404 00:27:02,480 --> 00:27:04,471 Don't drop me! 405 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:06,989 You're crushing my windpipe. 406 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:09,156 How do you think those two are getting on? 407 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,919 Oh, the usual blend of chalk and cheese, I imagine. 408 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:13,758 Yeah. 409 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:14,949 (Knocking) 410 00:27:15,840 --> 00:27:18,559 I saw the candles. Everything all right? 411 00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:20,034 Or have I missed the séance? 412 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:22,071 No, everything is not all right. 413 00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:24,396 I would've thought that was perfectly obvious. 414 00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,795 The lights have blown and Al can't fix them. 415 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:29,480 But apparently there's somebody coming who can. 416 00:27:29,520 --> 00:27:32,558 - Yeah. Mike Pruddy is on his way. - Oh. It's an electrician you need. 417 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,956 - Might be able to save you some money. - It's best left to the professionals. 418 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:37,638 Let me be the judge of that. 419 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,115 Down the hall on the right. 420 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,629 He won't electrocute himself, will he? 421 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,671 - We can only hope. - (Knocking) 422 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:46,711 Evening. 423 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:50,234 Oh, yes, do come in. Everyone else has! 424 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,794 Thought I'd better check on the boy. Electrics! 425 00:27:52,840 --> 00:27:54,831 - Joe's on it. - Oh, no. 426 00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,440 That bloke could start a fire in a bowl of water. 427 00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,471 Sounds rather biblical. 428 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,279 I wonder if you can start a fire in a bowl of water. 429 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:04,355 Look out! 430 00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:06,437 (Series of small explosions and shattering glass) 431 00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,949 Man down! We've a man down! 432 00:28:13,200 --> 00:28:15,555 How did you imagine we'd spend our wedding night? 433 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,591 Not like this. 434 00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:20,234 This is a mistake. We should be at home. 435 00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:23,830 - Oh, steady, Martin! - Yes. 436 00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:27,031 Idiot Bert! 437 00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,071 Abandoning us in that place. 438 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:35,149 Yeah, well, him and the villagers wanted to surprise us. What awful people! 439 00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:37,396 Well, they all knew we didn't want a honeymoon. 440 00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:39,954 - You didn't want a honeymoon. - Well, you agreed. 441 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,436 Because I didn't want to drag you off somewhere and have you complaining. 442 00:28:43,480 --> 00:28:45,471 So, you did want a honeymoon? 443 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:47,511 I wanted you to want one. 444 00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:51,160 What...? Oh, no. I don't understand that. 445 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,191 No. You don't, do you? 446 00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,191 You never do. 447 00:28:56,240 --> 00:28:58,231 Right. We're cold... 448 00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,511 we're wet... Let's just call Bert. 449 00:29:02,520 --> 00:29:04,875 Find a telephone, get home as fast as we can. 450 00:29:04,920 --> 00:29:07,070 You were right. It was probably a...mistake. 451 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:10,919 I could've been crippled. 452 00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,270 You shouldn't have been standing on a chair in the dark. 453 00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:15,914 I needed to get a better angle on the situation. 454 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,951 Now, be honest. How bad is it? 455 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,435 - That is borderline, that is. - Will it leave a scar? 456 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,871 You might need butterflies. Then again, you might need sutures. 457 00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:27,038 I think you're possibly forgetting there's a doctor in the house. 458 00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,230 What is the recommended treatment, then, doc? 459 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,191 Stick a plaster on it and shut up. 460 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:33,755 Evening. 461 00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:36,953 - Evening, Corporal. - Show him where it is, Al. 462 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,389 - Oh, right. - (Baby cries) 463 00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:40,995 Cheers. 464 00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:46,832 I'd give him a try, but... I've been compromised. 465 00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:53,071 - Can I say something? - No! 466 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:56,112 - I think you're being unfair. - Oh, right, thank you! 467 00:29:57,160 --> 00:29:59,629 Because you say one thing when you mean another. 468 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,752 You agree to something when actually you want something else. 469 00:30:02,800 --> 00:30:06,395 - It doesn't make sense. - So if I'd said I wanted a big, lavish wedding, 470 00:30:06,440 --> 00:30:09,000 with white horses and a gold carriage, 471 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,236 and a big reception with hundreds of guests, 472 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:14,193 and a week-long honeymoon on some tropical island, 473 00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:16,231 you'd have said what? Hm? 474 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:19,511 Martin? Martin? Martin! 475 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:21,153 You see anything? 476 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:24,591 No, nothing at all, cos you're blinding me. Shine it over here, will you? 477 00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,229 I bet this is boring compared to army life, isn't it? 478 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:32,114 (Laughs) If you think rewiring fuse boxes in the desert is exciting, 479 00:30:32,160 --> 00:30:34,151 then...then, yeah. 480 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:36,517 If you need any backup, let me know. 481 00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:38,551 You can hand me that box. 482 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:44,795 - We're in the same line of work, you and me. - You're an electrician? 483 00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:46,831 No. Special forces. 484 00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:48,951 You army, me police. 485 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,238 So, we're not really in the same line of work, then. 486 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:56,797 Well...we're both trained to respond to an emergency situation. 487 00:30:56,840 --> 00:30:59,036 Primed and ready at the shortest notice. 488 00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,071 There is something you could do to help me. 489 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:03,111 Stop talking! 490 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,151 Right. 491 00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:09,198 Agh! I'm all right. I think. 492 00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:11,959 Ow! Ooh, no. I may have sprained my wrist. 493 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,355 - Right. I'm coming down. - No, don't. It's too steep. 494 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:16,152 - I'll come up. - Just catch me if I fall. 495 00:31:16,200 --> 00:31:18,840 - What? - Aaargh! 496 00:31:18,880 --> 00:31:20,996 - What? Ow! - Sorry. 497 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,031 Oh. Your dress. 498 00:31:23,080 --> 00:31:26,198 It's fine. I wasn't planning on wearing it again anyway. 499 00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,471 - Oh, no. You're hurt. - No, it's...it's nothing. 500 00:31:29,520 --> 00:31:31,955 - Let me have a look. - There's no need. 501 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,879 - (Fox barks) - What the hell was that? 502 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:38,595 - Kl you! - We need to get out of here. 503 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,359 It's just the farmer shouting at foxes. It's fine. 504 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,550 - Are you sure? - (Bark) 505 00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:45,591 (More barking and a man shouts) 506 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,439 Yeah. 99% sure. 507 00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,916 And a fox and a farmer means a farmhouse. Which means a telephone. 508 00:31:51,960 --> 00:31:53,951 - So... - Agh! 509 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,471 99% sure. 510 00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:01,791 That's not entirely conclusive, is it...Louisa? 511 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:12,959 Oh. All right. 512 00:32:13,000 --> 00:32:14,991 Not a farmhouse, then. 513 00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:18,510 Hm. Doesn't look like he exactly welcomes visitors, either. 514 00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:22,231 Well, we're here now. 515 00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:24,675 - (Barks) - (Screams) 516 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:25,869 Get out! 517 00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,670 - Martin, are you all right? - Er..yes. 518 00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:37,796 What are you doing out here? 519 00:32:37,840 --> 00:32:40,514 Who are you? 520 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,031 We were just looking for some help. 521 00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,993 Erm...would you mind lowering your gun? 522 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,475 I don't like people poking around here. 523 00:32:49,520 --> 00:32:52,160 We're not poking around. We just wanted to use your telephone. 524 00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:53,474 I haven't got a phone. 525 00:32:53,520 --> 00:32:55,511 (Snorts) Of course you don't. 526 00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,275 What's with the fancy clothes? 527 00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,517 It's our wedding day and this is... the honeymoon. 528 00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:05,074 Congratulations. 529 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,839 Easy, tiger! 530 00:33:07,880 --> 00:33:09,917 No sudden moves. 531 00:33:09,960 --> 00:33:12,952 - Is that thing loaded? - Course it's loaded. 532 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:16,755 Well, put it down before somebody gets hurt - yourself included. 533 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:19,758 And if you can't help us with a phone, we'll just be on our way. 534 00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:21,438 No, no, no. 535 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,471 You're not going anywhere. 536 00:33:25,400 --> 00:33:27,676 I beg your pardon? 537 00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:29,711 There are foxes out here. 538 00:33:31,080 --> 00:33:33,071 Edna? 539 00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,034 Are you taking any sort of medication? 540 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,155 - Do you know what the date is? - Course I do. 541 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,200 So should you, it being your wedding day an' all. 542 00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,669 Edna! 543 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,198 - Is that your wife? - My dog. 544 00:33:52,200 --> 00:33:54,191 She's a good judge of character. 545 00:33:55,560 --> 00:33:57,790 So, what happens now? 546 00:33:57,840 --> 00:34:00,639 You start mending my chicken coop. 547 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:03,751 I'm sure it looks worse than it is. 548 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:07,077 We can probably just, you know, stand it back up again, or something. 549 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:09,430 It needs to be done properly. 550 00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:12,632 You broke it...you fix it! 551 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:16,833 How about I give you some money and then you can get it patched up? 552 00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,149 Tools are over there. 553 00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:32,911 - Cheers. - All done. 554 00:34:32,960 --> 00:34:35,520 Teamwork. Told you we'd get it sorted, Ruth. 555 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,154 - Bet you're glad we're here. - Delighted! 556 00:34:38,200 --> 00:34:40,077 Last orders. 557 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,157 - Drink up and be on your way. - Right, lads. 558 00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:45,795 - Let's be hitting the sack, eh? - The early bird catches the felon. 559 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:47,990 I've got to be up a bit sharpish myself, too. 560 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:50,031 I've got to go and fetch the doc and Loui... 561 00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,071 - Oh, bugger it. - What? 562 00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:55,078 Let's just say that someone forgot to give the doc his suitcase. 563 00:34:55,120 --> 00:34:58,112 - He'd see the funny side of that, wouldn't he? - (Baby cries) 564 00:34:58,160 --> 00:35:00,754 Oh, James Henry Ellingham. 565 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:04,509 You are intent on torturing your Great Aunt Ruth tonight. 566 00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:07,598 Well, he's teething, in't he? Poor little bugger. 567 00:35:07,640 --> 00:35:09,756 - Is he? - That's why his chin's all red. 568 00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:11,791 He can't help drooling. 569 00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,036 - What are you looking for? - (Crying) 570 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,913 - Here. - Vanilla essence? 571 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,712 Rub it on his gums with your finger. 572 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:26,151 This isn't the 16th Century. He'll need an analgesic. 573 00:35:26,200 --> 00:35:29,113 Counter-pressure helps the pain of the tooth pushing through. 574 00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,151 See, I grew up in a family of 10. 575 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:36,114 I was the eldest. Screaming babies were practically the soundtrack to my youth. 576 00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,474 If I hadn't been raised to show no emotion... 577 00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:49,311 I might cry myself. 578 00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:54,111 Got one. 579 00:35:54,160 --> 00:35:56,674 There's 13 others running round out there like fox food. 580 00:35:56,720 --> 00:35:58,233 In you go. 581 00:35:58,600 --> 00:36:02,116 For God's sake! My dog Edna could do a better job than that. 582 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:04,276 Well, why don't you do it yourself, then? 583 00:36:04,320 --> 00:36:08,075 No. I'd rather see a moron like you make a good job of it. Ha-ha-ha! 584 00:36:08,120 --> 00:36:10,111 - Excuse me? - What? 585 00:36:10,160 --> 00:36:12,151 Yes, we broke your chicken coop. 586 00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,909 But you pointed a gun at us, held us hostage and now you're insulting my husband. 587 00:36:15,960 --> 00:36:17,109 - Louisa. - No! 588 00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,231 Good manners cost nothing. 589 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,840 I think your missus is a little bit doolally. 590 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:24,474 Oh, do you? Look. I banged your post in. 591 00:36:24,520 --> 00:36:27,433 Just tell us where that telephone is and we'll be on our way. 592 00:36:28,800 --> 00:36:30,791 Oh, for God's sake! 593 00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,116 I'll bash it in. Here. Give me that. 594 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:35,151 You hold the post. 595 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,157 - Apologize! - Louisa! 596 00:36:37,200 --> 00:36:38,838 It's all right, Martin. 597 00:36:38,880 --> 00:36:41,269 Apologize to my husband and to me. 598 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,156 Go on! 599 00:36:45,200 --> 00:36:48,795 - Sorry. - Now fix your post. 600 00:36:48,840 --> 00:36:51,354 - Louisa, give me that rifle. - Ow! 601 00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:53,391 - Ow! - What's happened? 602 00:36:53,440 --> 00:36:55,317 - Martin. - Let me see. 603 00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:57,517 I think you've dislocated your shoulder. 604 00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:58,834 You mean, you have. 605 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:02,510 What's wrong with you people, coming round here in the middle of the night... 606 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,471 demanding things, breaking things? 607 00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:06,875 - Let me see it. - No. You're not touching me! 608 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:09,230 He's a doctor. Stop whining and let him have a look. 609 00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,791 Come on. Open your shirt. 610 00:37:12,840 --> 00:37:14,831 - I would if I could. - All right. 611 00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:19,675 Yep. The humeral head's come out of its socket. 612 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,920 - It doesn't seem to hurt as much now. - No, it wouldn't. 613 00:37:23,960 --> 00:37:26,554 The body produces endorphins to reduce shock. 614 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,433 But you'll be in severe and incapacitating pain in minutes. 615 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,677 - I don't think he means it like that. - No, I do. He'll be in agony. 616 00:37:32,720 --> 00:37:34,711 Can you fix it? 617 00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:36,671 - Yes, of course I can. - I mean, properly. 618 00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:39,711 Move into the light. 619 00:37:43,080 --> 00:37:45,549 Louisa, please stop waving that around. 620 00:37:45,600 --> 00:37:48,911 - It's dangerous. - Stop telling me what to do, will you? 621 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:52,190 Well, he's sleeping like a...well, like a baby. 622 00:37:52,240 --> 00:37:54,675 You're a very competent man. 623 00:37:54,720 --> 00:37:57,075 That's a rarity around these parts. 624 00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:59,953 Yeah, right! Can't hold down a steady job... 625 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:01,991 can't find a decent girlfriend. 626 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:05,715 - I'm a regular success story! - Could be worse. 627 00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:08,400 You could be an agoraphobic schizophrenic. 628 00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,431 Yeah. Always look on the sunny side. 629 00:38:11,720 --> 00:38:14,712 - How much do I owe you? - Oh. For the baby? Nothing! 630 00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,274 - And for everything else, I'll send a bill. - Perfect. 631 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:20,271 (Groans) 632 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:22,596 I seem to be running out of endorphins. 633 00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,116 Do us a favour, love. Go in the caravan. 634 00:38:27,160 --> 00:38:29,879 There's a bottle of whisky in the cupboard above the sink. 635 00:38:29,920 --> 00:38:31,911 (Groans) 636 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:37,591 I know what you're thinking, Doc. 637 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:40,830 You're jealous. You want a caravan of your own. 638 00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,030 Yes. That's just what I'm thinking! 639 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,631 I feel sorry for you. 640 00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:50,758 Having a boring life, getting married with your wife. 641 00:38:51,080 --> 00:38:53,071 Shut up! 642 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,670 Don't you say my wife's name with your...mouth! 643 00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,671 Er...I've got the bottle. 644 00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,236 Right. Let's relocate this shoulder. 645 00:39:05,480 --> 00:39:09,075 I'm going to slowly pull your arm up to a 90 degree abduction and then rotate it. 646 00:39:09,120 --> 00:39:12,272 - It might hurt a bit. Are you ready? - Get on with it. 647 00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,277 - Agh! Aaargh! - (Click) 648 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,440 (Laughs) Heaven! 649 00:39:20,480 --> 00:39:23,313 - Oh, well done, Martin. - It's a simple procedure. 650 00:39:31,240 --> 00:39:33,550 Louisa! Are you all right'? 651 00:39:33,600 --> 00:39:35,796 - Yes. You? - Yes. 652 00:39:35,840 --> 00:39:39,834 - Quickly. Get this off! - Hello'? Are you all right'? 653 00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:45,716 You clumsy git! 654 00:39:45,760 --> 00:39:47,956 How is he? Oh! 655 00:39:50,120 --> 00:39:51,679 Is he OK? 656 00:39:51,720 --> 00:39:54,030 Something's nicked his carotid artery. Don't move! 657 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,310 - I'll call an ambulance. - There's no time. 658 00:39:56,360 --> 00:39:59,239 In a few minutes, he'll either have a stroke or bleed out. 659 00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:01,271 Is there anything you can do? 660 00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:05,433 - Yes. But may need your help. - OK. Right. 661 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,159 Right. I need a needle and thread. 662 00:40:10,200 --> 00:40:11,759 - Top drawer! - Right. I'll get it. 663 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,430 - What else? - Er...a razor blade. Or a small knife. 664 00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:17,232 In the baccy tin. 665 00:40:17,280 --> 00:40:21,035 - Hurry up. - Yes, yes. I'm looking, I'm looking. 666 00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,276 - Fishing line? - Yes. Good. 667 00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:25,311 You need to regulate your breathing. 668 00:40:25,360 --> 00:40:27,237 Try and slow your heartbeat down. 669 00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,840 - I don't want to die. - I don't want you to die either. 670 00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,838 - Right. I've got it all. - Cotton swabs? 671 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:34,837 Where am I going to find cotton swabs? 672 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:38,236 I don't think he has a skincare regime. This is it, I'm sorry. 673 00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,271 Right. 674 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,311 I want you to place your hand on mine. 675 00:40:42,360 --> 00:40:44,158 Not you! 676 00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:48,230 When I say...place your index finger 677 00:40:48,280 --> 00:40:51,113 where mine is and apply a constant pressure. All right? 678 00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:52,912 - Yes. - Ready? 679 00:40:52,960 --> 00:40:54,997 Now! 680 00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:59,914 All right. I'm going to attempt to open the wound to gain access to the artery. 681 00:40:59,960 --> 00:41:02,713 - And when I've done that, I'll try to repair it. - Yes. 682 00:41:08,080 --> 00:41:10,071 Do you need help? 683 00:41:10,120 --> 00:41:11,952 Nope. 684 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,799 Right. I'll need something to clamp the artery with. 685 00:41:16,360 --> 00:41:18,954 - That thing in your hair. The grip. - Yep. You can have that. 686 00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,198 - Do you have another bottle of whisky? - In the cupboard by the sink. 687 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:25,231 Yes. 688 00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,271 Oh, God! Oh! 689 00:41:36,320 --> 00:41:40,029 I'll give you the word, you remove your hand, I'll make the incision and clamp the artery. 690 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:42,276 - Yes. - When I've done that, 691 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,755 hold the clamp in place while I make the repair. 692 00:41:44,800 --> 00:41:46,791 - OK? - Right 693 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,920 - I mean, are you OK? - Yeah, I'm fine. 694 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:51,473 Right. 695 00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:55,151 Now. 696 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,715 Clamp. 697 00:42:05,240 --> 00:42:07,470 All right. Now, hold the clamp in place. 698 00:42:10,600 --> 00:42:13,160 Oh. I'm...I'm sorry. 699 00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:15,191 It's fine. 700 00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:17,231 This'll be over very soon. 701 00:42:18,240 --> 00:42:20,390 One way or the other. 702 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,672 Right. Let's see if it's held. 703 00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:52,158 Good. We need to get you to a hospital as soon as possible. Where's the nearest house? 704 00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:55,318 There's a road just at the back. About... 705 00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:57,351 15 minutes' walk. 706 00:42:58,560 --> 00:43:02,394 - Some honeymoon, eh? - Stop talking. 707 00:43:11,640 --> 00:43:13,631 I'm sorry. 708 00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:14,795 For what? 709 00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,150 Well, it's not exactly the sort of day you'd hoped for. 710 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:20,750 Well, it's certainly not one that we'll ever forget, is it? 711 00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,194 Which bit are you looking forward to remembering most? 712 00:43:25,240 --> 00:43:27,231 Getting lost? 713 00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:29,278 Held at gunpoint? 714 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:31,311 Or um... 715 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,351 watching this man exsanguinate. 716 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:35,789 I think...probably all of it. 717 00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:37,831 I see. 718 00:43:45,200 --> 00:43:47,191 - (Vehicle approaching) - Martin. Martin! 719 00:43:47,240 --> 00:43:49,231 Listen. 720 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,351 - She's asleep. - (Sighs) 721 00:44:18,400 --> 00:44:20,391 So... 722 00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:22,351 - Louisa... - (Door opens) 723 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:24,198 We'll put the luggage in here... 724 00:44:24,240 --> 00:44:27,437 - and then we can shift the blame to Morwenna. - Agh! 725 00:44:27,480 --> 00:44:29,949 It's OK, Bert. It's not our blood. We're fine. 726 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:33,277 What on earth...? Oh, my God! 727 00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,470 - We're fine. It's not our blood. - How's James? 728 00:44:35,520 --> 00:44:37,318 - Whose blood is it? - It's not important. 729 00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:38,953 I heard a noise. 730 00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:41,355 - Oh, Doc! - It's not their blood, Joe. 731 00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:42,151 Allegedly. 732 00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:46,910 OK. Well, whatever happened, we can fix it. People go missing all the time. 733 00:44:46,960 --> 00:44:48,712 Are there any problems with James? 734 00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:52,515 - You're covered in dirt. - Doc, did you damage the lodge? 735 00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:56,872 Oh! I've got wax in my eye. I think I might be blind! 736 00:44:56,920 --> 00:45:00,117 - Whose blood is it? - Don't start on the luggage, Doc. 737 00:45:00,160 --> 00:45:02,151 (All talk at once) 738 00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:04,476 Right. I'm going to check on James. 739 00:45:04,520 --> 00:45:06,875 - I'll see to this idiot. - Mm-hm. 740 00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:11,594 (All talk at once, dog barks) 741 00:45:15,240 --> 00:45:17,675 Right. Go through to the consulting room. Not you. 742 00:45:17,720 --> 00:45:19,711 Get rid of the dog. 743 00:45:21,480 --> 00:45:24,040 Ruth, was everything all right? Was he OK? 744 00:45:24,240 --> 00:45:26,470 How's his cold? Has it cleared up now? 55876

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