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This programme contains very strong
language and adult humour.
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- Do you know what I think?
- What?
3
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,360
I think I could make you really happy.
4
00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,760
I'd love you, care for you.
5
00:00:20,140 --> 00:00:22,920
I'd be a brilliant dad
to Tyler, you know.
6
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:24,900
And everything would be amazing...
7
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:28,663
34 percent of the time.
8
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(CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
9
00:00:59,040 --> 00:01:01,520
- A brigadier?
- A brigadier.
10
00:01:01,560 --> 00:01:04,640
There was an army colonel for a bit,
but he popped his clogs,
11
00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:07,319
then there is a mayor's wife,
I drop off for her once a week.
12
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:10,640
Honestly, it is fucking harmless.
Medicinal is what it is,
13
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- this lady has got MS here.
- You're basically the local doctor then.
14
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I am Doctor Vinnie PHDizzel.
15
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:20,199
PHD. What the fuck
does that stand for, PHD?
16
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,660
I have no idea.
17
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,440
- I think the D is Doctor?
- No, I don't think it is.
18
00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:27,640
Wait till you see
the smile on her face. Honestly,
19
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watch how much joy I bring
to our Linda. Linda!
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- It's open.
- Y'alright, love?
21
00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:37,440
Do I look alright? These seat
sores are the bane of my life,
22
00:01:37,480 --> 00:01:40,119
will you get me cushion and
slide it under?
23
00:01:40,120 --> 00:01:42,639
- Yeah, can Sammy help?
- Yeah. Hiya, love.
24
00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,920
- Hi, Linda.
- You the new girlfriend, then?
25
00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:47,680
Shut up, gobshite. For godsake.
26
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,360
Last girlfriend I had
had bloody pig tails.
27
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- Kinky.
- He's a good one, this one, Sammy.
28
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,319
Keep hold of him. Heart of gold.
29
00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,080
Trying to get out of
paying for the weed?
30
00:01:57,104 --> 00:01:58,159
- Yeah.
- Is that what it is?
31
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:02,280
Come on, on three. On three.
One, two, three... (HORN BEEPS) Wah!
32
00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:05,280
All right, one more. One, two, three...
(HORN BEEPS)
33
00:02:10,524 --> 00:02:13,159
- Help me.
- What the hell have you got there?
34
00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,640
- Never mind that, get the legs.
- Legs?
35
00:02:16,054 --> 00:02:18,599
- Dylan, can we use upstairs?
- What for?
36
00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:21,720
What the fuck does it look like?
Advanti...
37
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,480
Honestly, not a clue.
38
00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:28,720
Are you ready for this? Gentlemen,
this is the latest high-tech
39
00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:33,120
all-singing, all-dancing addition
to my newly renovated erotic venue.
40
00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,200
- Sex dungeon.
- It's not a fucking dungeon, Dylan.
41
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:37,640
- It's underground, Tommo.
- That's what I got now that Erin's got into bed
42
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:41,360
with McCann. Jesus fucking Christ.
Anyway, I thought to myself,
43
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:45,040
Tommo, onwards and upwards. In
with the new and so, on that note,
44
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:47,640
gentlemen, I would like to introduce
you to...
45
00:02:49,387 --> 00:02:50,720
Alison.
46
00:02:50,744 --> 00:02:53,280
- Wow.
- She's...
47
00:02:53,815 --> 00:02:58,160
- Fuckable?
- (STUTTERING) Freaky?
48
00:02:58,427 --> 00:03:00,839
- Life like.
- Well, that's the whole point, innit?
49
00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:04,079
100 percent thermoplastic.
Built-in pulsating vagina,
50
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,039
- depth of seven inches.
- Is that it, yeah?
51
00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:08,759
Metal skeleton.
Real feel, no funny smells.
52
00:03:08,760 --> 00:03:13,200
Anal depth, 6.7 inches.
Oral depth, five inches.
53
00:03:13,580 --> 00:03:15,479
It's deep, yeah. Deep.
54
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:18,519
So my questions to you, lads is
this, which one of you lucky boys
55
00:03:18,520 --> 00:03:21,399
- is going to test drive her?
- You are fucking kidding me.
56
00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:23,839
- I wouldn't fit in that.
- JJ.
57
00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:25,880
Like I'm gonna fuck Alison
behind Sugar's back.
58
00:03:25,904 --> 00:03:27,256
Cardi. Cardi. Cardi.
59
00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,800
- I will pay you.
- Why don't you do it?
60
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:35,400
- She's not my type, is she?
- What do you mean, not your type?
61
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:38,760
- Well, she's not human for a start.
- That's the point though, isn't it?
62
00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:42,440
If you must know, I've been
having these fucking nightmares.
63
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,360
Freaky fucking dreams. Honestly,
they have put me off my game.
64
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,240
I wake up in a blind panic.
65
00:03:47,580 --> 00:03:52,120
- What happens in the dreams?
- I'm fast asleep, in my dream,
66
00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:54,640
in my own bed.
67
00:03:56,094 --> 00:03:58,560
Or at least it seems like my own bed,
68
00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:03,000
except it feels like satin sheets,
whereas I would always plumb
69
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,480
for Egyptian cotton.
And I become aware
70
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:08,839
that I'm being caressed,
softly, under the covers
71
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:12,160
like, not unpleasant, but the
sensation starts to bring me round,
72
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:15,680
and I half open my eyes as I become
more aware of my surroundings,
73
00:04:15,720 --> 00:04:18,159
I pull back the covers to remind
myself who I'm in bed with...
74
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:22,000
and it's only then I see... (SCREAMS)
75
00:04:26,507 --> 00:04:27,680
Erin?
76
00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:29,680
Honestly, chaps, I am...
77
00:04:29,867 --> 00:04:33,920
exhausted, a shadow of my former self.
Drinking to knock myself out at night.
78
00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,880
- Have you tried wanking?
- Of course I've fucking tried wanking, Ash.
79
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,759
It's my first point of call in any
situation.
80
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,079
But you try getting it up when there
is a threat of a fucking
81
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:45,080
- pupil-less Erin looming over you.
- Probably just anxiety,
82
00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,320
cos you guys fell out.
83
00:04:48,840 --> 00:04:51,800
- Why don't you just make up?
- Yeah.
84
00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:56,800
Maybe. But I don't need her,
do I, Cardi?
85
00:04:56,840 --> 00:04:59,759
Cos I have got this lovely lady,
so, the question remains,
86
00:04:59,760 --> 00:05:01,260
who is volunteering?
87
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:07,060
Did I or did I not say,
pulsating vagina?
88
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,480
My dad was never really around,
89
00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:12,759
my mum used to say he
was away working.
90
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,120
Turns out he was actually inside,
91
00:05:15,606 --> 00:05:18,800
either that or...
off on one of his idiot schemes.
92
00:05:20,123 --> 00:05:23,320
- How old were you when your mum left?
- Seven.
93
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,949
- That's so little.
- Mmm.
94
00:05:27,208 --> 00:05:29,960
Christ, I wonder sometimes whether
that is half the reason
95
00:05:29,985 --> 00:05:33,000
I am they way I am.
I mean, my brain is just...
96
00:05:33,380 --> 00:05:35,900
Christ, it is fucked.
I have to take pills, you know.
97
00:05:36,300 --> 00:05:37,980
It's a fucking shame.
98
00:05:41,191 --> 00:05:43,280
- You are bonny in the woods.
- Fuck off.
99
00:05:43,304 --> 00:05:44,680
You do, you suit them.
100
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:50,840
I like it. Bet you missed it here
when you were inside?
101
00:05:51,340 --> 00:05:55,560
- I did, yeah.
- What were you actually in for?
102
00:05:56,020 --> 00:05:58,460
Something to do with a burial?
103
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:04,440
- It's a long story, that one.
- I'm not going anywhere.
104
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,040
(SIGHS)
105
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,220
It's better I don't tell
you about it, keep you safe.
106
00:06:12,620 --> 00:06:15,439
This fella, Terence McCann, he is
just a piece of work.
107
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:17,220
The guy Erin works for?
108
00:06:19,380 --> 00:06:23,060
He's just not a nice guy.
He fucking hurts people, you know.
109
00:06:24,260 --> 00:06:27,020
And that is the last thing I want
happening to you, so...
110
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:46,879
- Hi, Albie.
- Hi. It'll only be for an hour
111
00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,160
while I do some work.
112
00:06:48,184 --> 00:06:50,919
- Has he brought a game?
- Yeah, got Connect Four.
113
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,119
- I love Connect Four.
- I know you do and you're good at it as well.
114
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:56,840
- Have a good time, yeah. Bye, Albie.
- Bye.
115
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:16,160
(KNOCKING)
116
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:20,680
- What's going on?
- Department of Environment.
117
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:24,120
This erection you are
living in is here illegally.
118
00:07:24,144 --> 00:07:24,696
What?
119
00:07:24,720 --> 00:07:27,280
This land has been sold,
and your erection...
120
00:07:27,304 --> 00:07:28,576
Come on now, you,
121
00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:31,839
- with your erections...
- Has to be removed within seven days.
122
00:07:31,840 --> 00:07:34,560
- Hey, hang on a minute...
- It's all in there.
123
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,840
Fuck me, I've been here years, man.
124
00:07:36,864 --> 00:07:38,919
Yeah, illegally.
125
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:42,360
It's the fucking woods,
people don't own the woods.
126
00:07:42,384 --> 00:07:43,600
They do now.
127
00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,800
- Seven days.
- Alright.
128
00:07:47,940 --> 00:07:49,220
Shit.
129
00:07:53,858 --> 00:07:55,009
Jimbo?
130
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:59,039
Oh! Fuck are you two old cunts doing?
131
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,520
What does it like?
132
00:08:00,544 --> 00:08:02,544
It looks like you are fondling up
a ginger horse.
133
00:08:02,640 --> 00:08:06,160
There you are, then. We are
entering the East Lancs show
134
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:09,200
and this time we're gonna fucking win.
135
00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,800
We've set aside our previous
differences to come together
136
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,360
in a common cause.
137
00:08:13,384 --> 00:08:16,575
It's like when Batman and
The Joker worked together
138
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:20,600
- to defeat Owlman.
- Owlman, was it, it was fucking Penguin.
139
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:22,440
- Owlman.
- Penguin.
140
00:08:22,464 --> 00:08:23,896
- Owlman.
- Penguin.
141
00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:28,080
Oi! For fuck's sake. I need help.
142
00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:31,800
The fucking council have sold the
land on. They are gonna kick me out
143
00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,520
my fucking shack.
I have got seven days lads.
144
00:08:34,544 --> 00:08:35,416
They can't do that.
145
00:08:35,440 --> 00:08:38,920
- Well, apparently, they can.
- That's right on the edge of my farm,
146
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,880
that's classic woodland. There's
fucking rare bluebells down there,
147
00:08:42,904 --> 00:08:42,911
Listen,
148
00:08:42,935 --> 00:08:46,055
- little fucking dormice and chiff chaffs.
- That's right,
149
00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:48,080
I saw a willow warbler
down there just last week.
150
00:08:48,105 --> 00:08:52,627
Listen, fuck, it's my home.
I can't live in a fucking house.
151
00:08:53,064 --> 00:08:55,880
What the fuck am I gonna do?
Help me out, for fuck sake.
152
00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:59,880
Hey, what about your secret club.
You're always bragging
153
00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:03,520
- that you know MPs and council - members.
- Alright, well what's this
154
00:09:03,560 --> 00:09:05,975
- secret club, then, Shirley?
- It's a secret.
155
00:09:05,999 --> 00:09:07,480
He's a mason.
156
00:09:09,998 --> 00:09:11,000
Prove it.
157
00:09:11,024 --> 00:09:13,399
Well, then, fuck, Shirley,
have a word for me, man.
158
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,810
No can do, sorry. We have very strict
rules against that kind of thing.
159
00:09:16,834 --> 00:09:17,440
Fuck.
160
00:09:17,441 --> 00:09:19,399
In fact forget I was ever here,
161
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:22,520
forget this conversation
ever took place.
162
00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:27,280
Oi, Paslowski... your secret
friends are cunts.
163
00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:31,439
- Your secret friends are cunts!
- I haven't got any secret friends.
164
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:34,660
But if you did, they'd be cunts!
165
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,439
Three illegal operations.
166
00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:42,680
Weed grow, Rat and Cutter, car garage,
167
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:45,200
we hit them all at the same time.
168
00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,359
We want to catch them in the act so
the timing is vital. Samantha.
169
00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:51,240
I'm working on it.
I'd say I'm pretty close
170
00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:55,040
- to being able to provide a hit time.
- We're gonna take these scroats down.
171
00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,240
And when we've got them,
172
00:09:58,248 --> 00:10:01,519
we'll make them squeal about
that bastard McCann.
173
00:10:01,520 --> 00:10:04,200
(BANGING) Erin! Erin!
174
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,840
Albie? Where's Tyler?
175
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,700
He's gone. I've lost him.
He just disappeared.
176
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:28,580
Tyler?
177
00:10:32,980 --> 00:10:35,380
- Tyler!
- Have you seen him?
178
00:10:35,420 --> 00:10:38,535
No, it's McCann, Vinnie, I know it is.
179
00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:41,159
- All because of that 30 fucking grand.
- Albie, listen to me,
180
00:10:41,160 --> 00:10:43,440
- did he get in a car with any men?
- He can't remember.
181
00:10:43,464 --> 00:10:44,456
I can't remember.
182
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,680
It's alright. It's alright. Erm, why
was he at the fucking shops anyway?
183
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:50,320
He went to get Tyler some sweets,
I didn't tell him he couldn't.
184
00:10:50,360 --> 00:10:52,919
- I'm sorry.
- No. No. No, sweetheart. It's not your fault.
185
00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:53,720
It's alright.
186
00:10:53,744 --> 00:10:55,880
I'm really worried,
Vin. I'll have to call the police.
187
00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,480
- What if they hurt him?
- Oi, listen, calm down a bit.
188
00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,520
I'm gonna get him back.
I'll get him back today,
189
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,400
I promise you. Everything is gonna
be alright. I promise, sweetheart.
190
00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:06,600
(PHONE RINGING)
Shit, it's Sugar. Shug!
191
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:10,840
- (SIGHS) He's at home. He's at home.
- Thank fuck for that. Christ.
192
00:11:16,660 --> 00:11:19,800
They said I had to go because you
needed me home.
193
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,199
They used your name
so I thought they knew you.
194
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,760
Did they say anything?
195
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:26,780
No. They just asked me if
I knew my Uncle Terence.
196
00:11:27,380 --> 00:11:31,320
Alright, well you are home now so it
doesn't matter but listen to me.
197
00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:36,495
Don't ever get in a strange car
198
00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:41,279
with people you don't know ever
again. Right? Not unless Mummy says.
199
00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,060
- Yeah.
- OK. You are a good lad.
200
00:11:45,420 --> 00:11:47,260
Eat your biscuits.
201
00:11:49,345 --> 00:11:53,540
MCCANN (VOICEMAIL): You have reached Terence
McCann. Please leave a message after the beep.
202
00:12:00,758 --> 00:12:04,600
I don't know about this, Vin.
Kidnapping's not really our thing, is it?
203
00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,159
We're sending a message, Ashley.
I wouldn't mind
204
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,759
but they bloody know me these two.
205
00:12:08,760 --> 00:12:10,799
(SINGING) โช Narwhals, narwhals,
swimming in the ocean... โช
206
00:12:10,800 --> 00:12:13,040
(SIGHS) That's enough.
207
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:18,600
Girls. Oi. Oi. Oi. You don't
even know what a narwhal is, do you?
208
00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:19,880
What is a narwhal?
209
00:12:19,904 --> 00:12:22,399
It's a whale with a horn.
It's for breaking up ice.
210
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,440
- Is it?
- Where's the fat one?
211
00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:27,039
Now, girls, that's not nice, is it.
212
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:31,399
No, it's not, so it's not.
We'll be drinking a pint of Guinness
213
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,119
with me leprechaun. (GIRLS LAUGH)
214
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,540
โช Narwhals, narwhals,
swimming in the ocean...
215
00:12:36,680 --> 00:12:40,480
- Just make the call, will you?
- Oi, that is enough.
216
00:12:40,505 --> 00:12:43,280
(PHONE RINGING)
217
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:49,680
(PHONE PINGS)
218
00:12:56,034 --> 00:12:59,679
Right, now before you start going
out of your fucking mind,
219
00:12:59,680 --> 00:13:02,479
they're fine. In fact, they are
extremely annoying
220
00:13:02,480 --> 00:13:04,599
and it is me that
is fucking traumatised.
221
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:07,759
Take them... Take them
fucking home now.
222
00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,399
Ah, now you see, you sound
cross there.
223
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:13,679
I was pretty fucking furious too
when you had a word with my child.
224
00:13:13,680 --> 00:13:17,639
Your child? You and Erin?
Jesus Christ, yes, me and Erin.
225
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,620
We had a one-night stand thing.
I am warning you, man,
226
00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:25,175
threaten me as much as you want, but
involve my kid with summat like this again
227
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:28,200
- I will fucking murder you.
- Erin owes me 30 grand.
228
00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:30,280
- Right and you will get it.
- When?
229
00:13:30,304 --> 00:13:31,719
Fucking soon.
230
00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:34,340
You've got until the end of the
fucking week. Put them on the phone.
231
00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:36,880
No.
232
00:13:36,904 --> 00:13:38,839
You fucking lay a hand on those girls,
and I swear...
233
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:42,120
Listen to you, I am not a fucking monster
like you, I wouldn't hurt a child,
234
00:13:42,144 --> 00:13:44,079
I am proving a fucking point.
235
00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:48,399
Proving a fucking point? You're a
dead cunt. You were nearly dead
236
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:50,159
before this stunt, but now you are
fucking dead.
237
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,839
And that bitch that bore your
child is fucking dead.
238
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:57,380
And that boy I will leave a fucking
orphan! Now take them home!
239
00:14:00,779 --> 00:14:02,320
- How did it go?
- Not great.
240
00:14:02,344 --> 00:14:04,480
- Right.
- Let's drop them off.
241
00:14:10,072 --> 00:14:13,780
Vinnie was telling me all about why
he went to prison. Crazy.
242
00:14:14,180 --> 00:14:15,580
Yeah.
243
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:21,820
Were you there...
when Tillerton had his accident?
244
00:14:21,845 --> 00:14:26,519
Er... yeah. Yeah. But you know,
that's all behind us now.
245
00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,160
Vinnie's done his time,
it's all forgotten.
246
00:14:29,289 --> 00:14:33,039
Must be dead scary though,
Erin still working with McCann?
247
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,560
And you two didn't...? Fuck.
248
00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:38,400
Shit, it's broken.
249
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,980
Sorry, hi, you OK?
250
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,640
(BELL DINGS)
251
00:14:55,411 --> 00:14:57,319
Oh, it's you. What do you want?
252
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:58,999
What the fuck is that in your hand?
253
00:14:59,000 --> 00:14:59,880
An ear.
254
00:14:59,904 --> 00:15:03,039
Why would you bring and ear
to the front of house?
255
00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,999
I mean, this is your establishment,
man. I could have been
256
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,175
a grieving family member.
You know... lost my husband or summat.
257
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:12,719
I walk in here and
there is a one-eyed fucking pirate
258
00:15:12,720 --> 00:15:15,199
- with a severed ear in his hand.
- It's not severed, in fact, the reason
259
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:17,360
I'm holding it is cos
of the way he died.
260
00:15:17,384 --> 00:15:19,039
The man had his entire head
261
00:15:19,040 --> 00:15:22,279
squashed under the wheel of an
articulated lorry.
262
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:25,480
Caved like a melon. But staggeringly,
263
00:15:25,720 --> 00:15:28,639
- the ear came out unscathed.
- That is staggering.
264
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,759
Which is why it's going
in my trophy cabinet.
265
00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,613
- What are you on about, trophy cabinet?
- Body parts that have
266
00:15:33,638 --> 00:15:38,136
fascinating stories connected to their
deaths. Like a 3-D diary kind of thing.
267
00:15:38,472 --> 00:15:41,279
For fuck... Shut up.
You've got the body parts
268
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:45,719
- of people's loved ones in a cabinet?
- The man's head was squashed
269
00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,799
to mush under a fucking truck,
do you really think his family
270
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,380
are gonna care whether I keep his
fucking ear in formaldehyde?
271
00:15:52,300 --> 00:15:56,480
- Hmm. Do you wanna see?
- Yes. Come on, son.
272
00:15:56,700 --> 00:15:59,999
- What did you come here for anyway?
- I need to get your Stephen to bell me,
273
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,880
- it's about his dad.
- McCann, why?
274
00:16:02,919 --> 00:16:05,159
I need him to organise
some sort of a truce.
275
00:16:05,184 --> 00:16:06,919
With his dad, unlikely.
276
00:16:06,920 --> 00:16:09,359
- He thinks he's an effeminate artist.
- Yeah.
277
00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:11,320
Well, can you get him to bell me?
278
00:16:13,099 --> 00:16:16,819
- Behold, the trophy cellar.
- What the fuck?
279
00:16:18,430 --> 00:16:21,199
- What do you think?
- What do you mean, "what do I think"?
280
00:16:21,200 --> 00:16:23,759
I think you are a fucking lunatic,
is what I think.
281
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:25,040
Look at the state of this shit.
282
00:16:25,064 --> 00:16:27,160
- What the fuck are these here?
- Brain.
283
00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:29,820
Ah, fuck me. A foot.
284
00:16:30,220 --> 00:16:32,239
What is with the tongue?
What is that all about?
285
00:16:32,240 --> 00:16:34,879
Wife cut it out after she caught
her husband giving cunnilingus
286
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:37,359
- to the baby sitter. He bled to death.
- This is fucked.
287
00:16:37,360 --> 00:16:40,520
- Beautiful.
- Get it away. It's gonna look well there.
288
00:16:40,779 --> 00:16:42,713
Are them bollocks there?
What are they saying?
289
00:16:42,738 --> 00:16:43,480
That's a funny story.
290
00:16:43,481 --> 00:16:46,159
- There was this barbed wire fence...
- You know, don't. Fuck me.
291
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:49,559
That's the end of that story. Start
and the end, barbed wire fence.
292
00:16:49,560 --> 00:16:53,100
Big fucking slit down the centre of
it. Jesus wept.
293
00:16:53,845 --> 00:16:58,119
- What's under that?
- Oh, that's nothing, empty, forget about it.
294
00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,740
- Come on.
- Alright.
295
00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:05,200
(SCREAMING)
296
00:17:05,240 --> 00:17:07,559
Ah! No. No.
297
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,160
I told you not to look.
298
00:17:09,184 --> 00:17:11,479
You were meant to
fucking cremate that dude.
299
00:17:11,480 --> 00:17:13,879
That is not... That is evidence.
No one's gonna find it.
300
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:17,319
Besides, it's a great story. Head
clean off, sewn on to another body.
301
00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:18,240
It's my second favourite.
302
00:17:18,264 --> 00:17:20,439
Second favourite.
That's nothing but trouble.
303
00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,600
- You'll fucking burn it.
- Say I don't?
304
00:17:24,199 --> 00:17:27,119
Alright, alright, for fuck's sake.
I am heartbroken.
305
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:30,560
- I want you to know that.
- Fuck! Burn it!
306
00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:38,160
Burn it.
307
00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:44,560
Oi, get Stephen to bell me.
308
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:52,500
(EXHALES) Sammy, I know you're
working, but I just...
309
00:17:53,420 --> 00:17:55,040
I dunno, I just...
310
00:17:56,460 --> 00:17:58,079
I dunno, actually.
311
00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,999
I just wanted you to know
that I'm thinking of you.
312
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:04,039
I am sorry it's a shit message.
Already.
313
00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:09,159
Just... if you want, give
us a bell tomorrow or summat.
314
00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,460
We can try and link up. Erm,
315
00:18:13,140 --> 00:18:15,799
erm, fuck. Bye.
316
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,000
Bye, then. You fucking turd.
317
00:18:19,734 --> 00:18:20,714
Shit.
318
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:25,360
(SIGHS)
319
00:18:36,540 --> 00:18:39,461
Mmm. (RUSTLING)
320
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:05,580
Hello?
321
00:19:08,765 --> 00:19:09,900
Shit.
322
00:19:17,805 --> 00:19:20,159
- Oh, you fucker!
- Alright, Vin.
323
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:23,805
You great dickhead, what the fuck
are you doing in there?
324
00:19:24,140 --> 00:19:25,560
(CLEARS THROAT)
325
00:19:25,845 --> 00:19:27,660
I need a bit of company, mate.
326
00:19:27,925 --> 00:19:32,005
It's my head, these fucking dreams,
I can't be on me own.
327
00:19:32,300 --> 00:19:35,520
- Right, then fucking come on, then.
- Cheers, mate.
328
00:19:38,265 --> 00:19:40,280
Fucking hell, dude, what's that?
329
00:19:40,740 --> 00:19:44,359
She is jaundice yellow.
She looks startled.
330
00:19:44,360 --> 00:19:46,439
I am not fucking test driving that.
331
00:19:46,440 --> 00:19:49,279
Just a quickie, fanny, funbags.
332
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,410
She was reduced for a quick sale,
so I'm worried there might be
333
00:19:51,411 --> 00:19:53,999
- hidden damage.
- Fuck me. Hidden damage?
334
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,079
Baggy arse or summat, I don't know.
335
00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,479
Christ, and what are you gonna be
doing while I am humping the life
336
00:19:58,480 --> 00:19:59,904
- out of this?
- I'll go for a walk, won't I?
337
00:19:59,905 --> 00:20:01,359
- Twiddle about.
- Fuck that...
338
00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:05,420
- dude, I am not shagging that thing.
- J-esus fucking Christ, Vincent,
339
00:20:05,460 --> 00:20:08,740
it's a free shag and I can't
even fucking give it away.
340
00:20:11,420 --> 00:20:15,000
I suppose you are having your needs
attended to by the scrumptious Samantha?
341
00:20:16,138 --> 00:20:18,840
Well, not really.
342
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:20,340
Hmm?
343
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,620
Have you, err...?
344
00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:24,480
(WHISTLES)
345
00:20:24,504 --> 00:20:26,504
- Not exactly, no.
- Not exactly?
346
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,919
- Well, not... fuck me, not at all.
- Has she sucked you off?
347
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,340
Dude, I am not supposed to...
tell you shit like that.
348
00:20:32,380 --> 00:20:35,220
Not supposed to. Hey, hey, hey,
look who you are talking to, mate,
349
00:20:35,540 --> 00:20:37,060
I am a broken man.
350
00:20:37,420 --> 00:20:40,519
This year I've had fucking hell,
dignity robbed,
351
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:44,239
livelihood stripped away from me.
The least you can do, right,
352
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:48,231
is enlighten your mate with the details
of your mucky mucky love life. Now then...
353
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,919
have you had a go on the mammaries?
354
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,120
- Yes.
- Right. Naked or through clothes?
355
00:20:53,144 --> 00:20:54,356
Through clothes.
356
00:20:54,380 --> 00:20:56,879
- What about the man's pubis?
- Uh-uh.
357
00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,279
- Not yet.
- Not even through clothes?
358
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:02,279
- Not even a dry hump?
- No, I haven't dry humped.
359
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,500
We've kissed. We have had a smooch
up, but that is about it.
360
00:21:06,540 --> 00:21:09,039
It's just about connection
for now, you know.
361
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,999
She likes me. And I like her.
362
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:16,280
I tell her I am a bi-polar fuck up,
she listens and tells me I am not.
363
00:21:16,460 --> 00:21:18,920
I think I feel something for her.
(CHUCKLES)
364
00:21:19,700 --> 00:21:21,000
Fair enough.
365
00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:24,439
Now, then, what's your
policy on spooning?
366
00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,118
I can't have your willy near my bum.
367
00:21:26,142 --> 00:21:28,880
- I won't sleep.
- Fine, you spoon me.
368
00:21:29,100 --> 00:21:33,000
Next question, may I sleep
in the altogether?
369
00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:36,845
Dude, no. That is a firm no.
370
00:21:37,780 --> 00:21:41,119
Jesus fucking Christ, when did you
get to be such a fucking prude?
371
00:21:41,120 --> 00:21:43,740
When I have to sleep with
my midget mate naked.
372
00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:47,000
- I tell you what...
- What?
373
00:21:47,024 --> 00:21:48,733
It's actually quite cosy,
this place, ain't it?
374
00:21:48,758 --> 00:21:50,119
- Yeah.
- I don't mind telling you.
375
00:21:50,120 --> 00:21:52,479
I used to think it was a bit
of a shithole.
376
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:57,893
Well, if that removal order
comes through
377
00:21:58,205 --> 00:22:00,399
I will be out on my
fucking ear, won't I?
378
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,639
Oh, aye. Do you want any help
with that?
379
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,119
I used to spank a bloke that works
in the town hall.
380
00:22:06,120 --> 00:22:08,960
Actually, no, come to think about it,
he works in sanitation.
381
00:22:10,879 --> 00:22:13,580
Do you know that fucking Shirley's
a mason.
382
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:16,679
Yeah. Jim told me about it.
383
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,719
Knows all these people on the
fucking council.
384
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:22,319
Said, will you give us a hand?
Told me to fuck myself. Blonde twat!
385
00:22:22,320 --> 00:22:24,340
- Shirley.
- Yeah.
386
00:22:25,540 --> 00:22:29,919
Because I seem to recall that
Shirley's a sleepwalker, in't he?
387
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,399
- Hmm.
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
388
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,700
Cos the thing about sleepwalkers,
Vincent, is...
389
00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:39,919
people get up to all sorts
in their sleep, don't they?
390
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,500
(CHUCKLES)
391
00:23:27,987 --> 00:23:29,420
Shit.
392
00:23:46,948 --> 00:23:48,520
Right, go on.
393
00:23:49,100 --> 00:23:53,199
Now, then, a few lewd poses, right,
394
00:23:53,200 --> 00:23:55,600
enough for your standard
blackmail job.
395
00:24:00,020 --> 00:24:01,679
There we go. Get snapping.
396
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:05,580
- Fuck.
- Right, he's going for it.
397
00:24:06,100 --> 00:24:07,700
Jesus, he's rampant.
398
00:24:08,420 --> 00:24:10,159
We shouldn't be watching this, lads.
399
00:24:10,160 --> 00:24:11,940
Fuck, dude.
400
00:24:12,700 --> 00:24:15,039
Fucking hell, he's not actually.
401
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,660
- Oh, poor Alison.
- Poor me, more like,
402
00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:20,380
I've gotta clean her out.
403
00:24:20,420 --> 00:24:22,599
Jesus Christ, I hope he don't rip her.
404
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:26,399
Oh, fucking hell! Fuck, dude.
405
00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,980
(SHIRLEY MOANING)
406
00:24:29,020 --> 00:24:30,980
How do you make it do that?
407
00:24:32,660 --> 00:24:36,860
Good Lord, nobody should have to go
through that. Poor Alison.
408
00:24:40,260 --> 00:24:43,400
Alright, Dyldo?
What are you doing here?
409
00:24:43,500 --> 00:24:47,500
I need to talk to you, man. Alone.
410
00:24:49,188 --> 00:24:53,208
- What the fuck is going on?
- Dude, I don't know how to tell you this.
411
00:24:53,420 --> 00:24:56,159
Dude, honestly, you are
making me fucking nervous.
412
00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:59,200
- What's going on, Dyl?
- Erm...
413
00:25:01,020 --> 00:25:03,839
- It's Samantha.
- What about her?
414
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,359
I don't know who she is.
I don't know what she is,
415
00:25:06,360 --> 00:25:10,639
- but you can't fucking trust her.
- What are you talking about?
416
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:14,100
She started asking loads of
questions behind the bar,
417
00:25:14,140 --> 00:25:17,740
and I were fucking... I were careful,
after what happened with Sara,
418
00:25:17,780 --> 00:25:20,940
I kept my gob shut, but it just
bothered me,
419
00:25:20,980 --> 00:25:26,360
and then I accidentally knocked her
bag over and found this...
420
00:25:27,660 --> 00:25:32,180
It's not a lighter,
it's a fuck... it's a microphone.
421
00:25:33,980 --> 00:25:36,439
(RECORDING PLAYS ON LAPTOP) SAM:
How old were you when your mam left?
422
00:25:36,440 --> 00:25:39,660
- Seven.
- So little.
423
00:25:41,420 --> 00:25:44,279
Christ, I wonder sometimes whether
that is half the reason I am the way
424
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,989
I am. I mean, my brain is just...
Christ, it's fucked.
425
00:25:47,990 --> 00:25:49,700
I have to take pills, you know.
426
00:25:50,100 --> 00:25:51,780
Fucking shame.
427
00:25:53,140 --> 00:25:54,740
You are bonny in the woods.
428
00:25:57,540 --> 00:25:59,060
I like it.
429
00:26:00,300 --> 00:26:02,140
I bet you miss...(RECORDING STOPS)
430
00:26:05,260 --> 00:26:06,900
(SIGHS)
431
00:26:08,700 --> 00:26:12,140
- Who is she?
- I dunno, man.
432
00:26:12,969 --> 00:26:17,227
She could be a cop, maybe?
An investigator?
433
00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:19,980
- I fucked up.
- How could you know, man.
434
00:26:20,020 --> 00:26:22,380
None of us knew. She seems fantastic.
435
00:26:22,420 --> 00:26:24,640
Dyl, I don't know what
I fucking said to her.
436
00:26:24,664 --> 00:26:25,716
I mean, you know.
437
00:26:25,740 --> 00:26:29,680
You were careful, but they know
about the weed grow.
438
00:26:33,060 --> 00:26:36,980
- I trusted her.
- I know, dude. I'm sorry, man.
439
00:26:37,020 --> 00:26:40,540
She fucking lied. She told me things
about her fucking...
440
00:26:41,220 --> 00:26:43,740
...past, her family and...
441
00:26:47,900 --> 00:26:49,660
She kissed me.
442
00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:56,220
I liked her.
443
00:26:59,580 --> 00:27:01,420
I really liked her.
444
00:27:10,710 --> 00:27:13,510
I am never trusting an outsider again.
445
00:27:17,583 --> 00:27:19,920
I think we've got a problem.
446
00:27:26,694 --> 00:27:28,460
What do you want?
447
00:27:30,060 --> 00:27:34,055
Want to know if you'll reconsider
speaking to your mason pals
448
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,932
- to help Vinnie's shack.
- No.
449
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:40,335
I won't, and there's nothing you
can say or do
450
00:27:40,360 --> 00:27:42,760
that will make me change my mind.
451
00:27:43,340 --> 00:27:46,700
Oh, really? (SHIRLEY MOANING ON PHONE)
452
00:27:50,740 --> 00:27:52,660
- Hi. JJ.
- Hey.
453
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,120
Dylan, how's it going?
454
00:27:55,144 --> 00:27:57,280
- Good, yeah, how are you?
- Yeah, great, thanks.
455
00:27:57,460 --> 00:28:00,260
Sandra's asked us to bring down the
new optics from the function room,
456
00:28:00,300 --> 00:28:02,660
- can you come give me a hand?
- Yeah, no worries.
457
00:28:08,694 --> 00:28:10,774
Get up to anything last night
after you left here?
458
00:28:10,799 --> 00:28:14,570
Nah, just stayed at home,
quiet one. How about you?
459
00:28:14,595 --> 00:28:18,275
Yeah, same, I was wrecked. It's hard
work, this place.
460
00:28:20,460 --> 00:28:23,760
Hello.(DOOR LOCKS)
461
00:28:24,220 --> 00:28:26,100
What are you up to?
462
00:28:31,660 --> 00:28:34,260
- What's going on?
- Who the fuck are you?
463
00:28:34,300 --> 00:28:37,260
- What?
- Who are you working for?
464
00:28:37,300 --> 00:28:39,780
Who do I work for? I work here.
465
00:28:41,420 --> 00:28:43,480
Do you think I am a cunt?
466
00:28:48,874 --> 00:28:51,069
It's a funny little thing, that.
467
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:53,720
There you go.
468
00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:55,220
Come on.
469
00:28:57,700 --> 00:28:59,860
So why have you been doing that, then?
470
00:28:59,900 --> 00:29:02,700
Why have you been recording
all our chats?
471
00:29:02,740 --> 00:29:06,020
Because I like to remember them,
I like to have nice moments.
472
00:29:06,060 --> 00:29:07,340
Look at me.
473
00:29:08,020 --> 00:29:11,420
I really fucking fell for you.
Do you know that?
474
00:29:12,020 --> 00:29:15,540
I let you in. And I am really lonely.
475
00:29:16,620 --> 00:29:19,340
You knew, didn't you?
476
00:29:19,540 --> 00:29:21,340
Vin, can we speak alone?
477
00:29:21,380 --> 00:29:22,620
No.
478
00:29:28,660 --> 00:29:31,740
(SIGHS) Look at these people
with me now.
479
00:29:32,540 --> 00:29:35,917
They are all I have ever known.
480
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,940
I don't have anybody else,
they are my entire family.
481
00:29:38,980 --> 00:29:42,940
And if you fucked me over,
fucking look at them.
482
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:46,180
You have fucked
them over too, haven't you?
483
00:29:46,340 --> 00:29:48,140
Are you police?
484
00:29:49,180 --> 00:29:50,380
Yeah.
485
00:29:51,740 --> 00:29:53,820
Is it Slater?
486
00:29:54,780 --> 00:29:56,160
What have you told him?
487
00:29:57,220 --> 00:30:00,580
- Fucking, what have you - told him?
- Everything.
488
00:30:00,620 --> 00:30:03,160
- Right.
- Listen...
489
00:30:04,611 --> 00:30:07,479
I started to like you,
I did, I swear, it...
490
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,166
it started as a job but
then I got feelings and...
491
00:30:10,191 --> 00:30:11,880
- She's lying.
- I'm not.
492
00:30:11,904 --> 00:30:14,199
Say anything to get out of
this room now, won't you?
493
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:17,400
Vinnie, I swear...
494
00:30:17,424 --> 00:30:19,920
I told you about my mum, didn't I?
495
00:30:22,060 --> 00:30:23,660
And my dad.
496
00:30:27,060 --> 00:30:30,427
Look, Slater wants you guys, but he
wants McCann, too.
497
00:30:30,452 --> 00:30:32,055
So if you let me, I can help you.
498
00:30:32,080 --> 00:30:33,679
- We can't trust you.
- Dylan, please,
499
00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,040
they're planning a raid,
500
00:30:35,064 --> 00:30:37,720
they've done surveillance but they
need me to tell them the right time.
501
00:30:37,745 --> 00:30:41,025
We let her now and she's gonna go
squealing straight to the cops.
502
00:30:41,060 --> 00:30:44,060
I won't, Vin, I swear.
503
00:30:44,100 --> 00:30:45,820
Trust me.
504
00:30:50,430 --> 00:30:53,110
Why the fuck, after all this,
505
00:30:54,143 --> 00:30:56,340
why would you help us, eh?
506
00:30:57,300 --> 00:30:59,580
- Why would you?
- Because...
507
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,100
..you've got a good heart.
508
00:31:21,260 --> 00:31:23,140
(CLAMOURING)
509
00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:29,860
(SIRENS BLARE, TYRES SCREECH)
510
00:32:04,780 --> 00:32:10,140
All units standby unless active or
urgent. Entry team forward.
511
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:18,900
POLICE: Armed police, stand
still and show me your hands.
512
00:32:19,500 --> 00:32:21,100
Armed police!
513
00:32:23,460 --> 00:32:26,020
Police. (CLAMOURING)
514
00:32:27,340 --> 00:32:28,740
Morning, lads.
515
00:32:29,460 --> 00:32:31,560
Armed police.
516
00:32:43,580 --> 00:32:44,560
What the fuck?
517
00:32:44,584 --> 00:32:47,560
POLICE (ON RADIO):
Premise clear. No arrests made.
518
00:32:47,660 --> 00:32:50,580
Fuck! Fuck's sake!
519
00:32:50,620 --> 00:32:53,919
- Armed police, do not move!
- Can I come in for a minute?
520
00:32:53,920 --> 00:32:57,600
I am unarmed, I am unarmed.
You alright?
521
00:32:57,900 --> 00:33:01,159
I have to be honest, you have,
522
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,120
I mean, Jesus, Carl, you have
fucked me... Can I sit down?
523
00:33:04,670 --> 00:33:05,735
Can I sit down?
524
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:10,466
Oh, God. Carl, I have got to hand it
to you, man, you have...
525
00:33:11,154 --> 00:33:13,015
royally fucked me over.
526
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:16,182
I am fucking heartbroken with the
Sam thing. I had no idea, man.
527
00:33:16,808 --> 00:33:20,460
- Seems like you did.
- Well, yeah, but fuck me, only just, dude.
528
00:33:20,500 --> 00:33:24,393
Christ lads, you were really
bloody close. Really close.
529
00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:26,296
Yeah.
530
00:33:26,415 --> 00:33:28,935
But anyway you have done
really well, I think you've...
531
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,390
fucked me right over and
I just don't want you
532
00:33:31,415 --> 00:33:33,700
hanging on my back for the rest of
my life so... fair cop.
533
00:33:34,153 --> 00:33:35,880
- Alright, what's going on?
- Nothing.
534
00:33:35,904 --> 00:33:37,904
Crap. Cuff him.
535
00:33:45,195 --> 00:33:47,355
Now, back in the van.
536
00:33:47,380 --> 00:33:49,878
- Leave him here.
- But sir...
537
00:33:49,902 --> 00:33:53,160
Leave him and go. I'll be fine.
538
00:33:56,300 --> 00:33:58,940
Oh, be my fucking guest,
Vin, have a seat.
539
00:34:05,192 --> 00:34:07,360
We've known each other a long time,
haven't we, Vinnie?
540
00:34:07,384 --> 00:34:08,720
Since school.
541
00:34:08,916 --> 00:34:12,920
So I'm quietly confident that...
542
00:34:13,171 --> 00:34:15,685
this behaviour is wildly
out of character.
543
00:34:16,131 --> 00:34:19,240
Vincent O'Neill doesn't just give
himself up and then...
544
00:34:19,265 --> 00:34:21,160
happily walk back to prison, does he?
545
00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:23,760
Dude, I just don't think
I'll get that long inside.
546
00:34:23,820 --> 00:34:26,940
In all truth, Carl, I won't, and
I have fucking been there before
547
00:34:26,980 --> 00:34:28,959
and it is just not that bad so it
makes no difference,
548
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:32,540
- lock me up and the rest, why not?
- What's going on, Vin?
549
00:34:32,958 --> 00:34:37,279
Carl, mate, you're on a fucking
revenge mission. I get it.
550
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:41,575
You don't like me. You know I was a
fucking horrible cunt to you
551
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,519
in school, I called you a dog bummer
and it stuck.
552
00:34:43,520 --> 00:34:44,980
It can't have helped.
553
00:34:45,875 --> 00:34:48,655
I always had a posse of mates
and you struggled a bit,
554
00:34:48,680 --> 00:34:50,400
you were always on your own.
555
00:34:50,814 --> 00:34:54,060
But you couldn't possibly
hurt me more than me.
556
00:34:55,040 --> 00:35:01,200
Carl, listen to me. With no agenda,
I am a fucking nobody.
557
00:35:01,240 --> 00:35:05,400
Pathetic, mentally ill
dickhead criminal
558
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,680
for the arse end of nowhere.
559
00:35:07,720 --> 00:35:10,060
If you want people talking your name
560
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:12,760
you best land yourself
a much bigger fish.
561
00:35:12,784 --> 00:35:14,376
Oh, I intend to.
562
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,080
Right. Well...
563
00:35:17,580 --> 00:35:20,800
it just so happens I could help you
out with that.
564
00:35:20,840 --> 00:35:22,940
But I'm gonna want some guarantees.
565
00:35:23,620 --> 00:35:25,760
I don't do deals, Vin.
566
00:35:25,784 --> 00:35:28,640
Sound enough, forget the whole thing.
No worries.
567
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,160
You stay here.
568
00:36:08,623 --> 00:36:11,560
Come on. I managed to get hold of 5K.
569
00:36:11,600 --> 00:36:13,359
I've borrowed two grand from
the Crow's Nest.
570
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,679
And I've put in the money I was
gonna use to restart my sex dungeon.
571
00:36:16,680 --> 00:36:20,680
- Thanks, Tommo.
- Pleasure. Just... stay out of my dreams.
572
00:36:20,920 --> 00:36:24,280
Well, we're still way too short.
Even with the club money
573
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:26,540
- that's only 19k.
- Shit.
574
00:36:29,588 --> 00:36:31,200
I'll lend you the rest.
575
00:36:32,600 --> 00:36:36,700
I've got it.
I'll get it back. It's fine.
576
00:36:40,540 --> 00:36:44,300
Dad, before you say anything, Erin
wants a chance to apologise.
577
00:36:45,700 --> 00:36:49,239
- How do you know her?
- Through business.
578
00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:52,400
She's a good person,
and she has your money.
579
00:36:52,660 --> 00:36:57,720
Mister McCann, I am really,
really, sorry.
580
00:36:57,760 --> 00:37:00,140
I just want to put things right.
581
00:37:00,560 --> 00:37:02,740
Dad, can we come in?
582
00:37:24,859 --> 00:37:27,980
TWINS: You're cheating.
You can't catch me.
583
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:32,140
I will catch you.
I've got you already.
584
00:37:34,940 --> 00:37:37,400
- Sorry, can I just go to the loo?
- No.
585
00:37:40,723 --> 00:37:43,100
Course you can use the fucking loo.
586
00:37:56,518 --> 00:37:59,720
- You're cheating.
- No, I am not. Yes, you are.
587
00:38:01,900 --> 00:38:03,919
You are a cheater.
588
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:06,720
- Hi, girls.
- BOTH: Hi, Stevie.
589
00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,079
Hey, why don't we go inside
cos it is starting to rain?
590
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:12,520
- Ouch. Can we go inside, please?
- Fight with us.
591
00:38:12,667 --> 00:38:14,080
Pussy.
592
00:38:14,192 --> 00:38:15,960
Later, I will fight with you later.
Come on.
593
00:38:15,984 --> 00:38:17,256
- No!
- No!
594
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:18,836
- Yes.
- No, idiot.
595
00:38:18,861 --> 00:38:20,536
- You're an idiot.
- You're an idiot.
596
00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:22,480
And you're not coming in our room.
597
00:38:22,504 --> 00:38:24,439
I don't wanna get in
your stupid room anyway.
598
00:38:24,440 --> 00:38:25,440
Cos it smells.
599
00:38:25,464 --> 00:38:28,039
- Your room smells.
- I don't care cos I am gonna go in
600
00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:30,919
and I'm gonna mess up
all your stuff. I am.
601
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:33,079
- No, you're not.
- Yeah, I am.
602
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,980
I am coming. I am coming.
603
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:43,220
You upset me, Erin.
604
00:38:44,180 --> 00:38:46,260
I don't like rejection.
605
00:38:47,720 --> 00:38:49,760
You had that prick O'Neill inside you.
606
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,980
Had his baby, and you have the
fucking temerity to reject me.
607
00:38:54,340 --> 00:38:57,460
I appreciate the money back,
but you're done.
608
00:38:58,620 --> 00:39:00,360
- Terence...
- You're done.
609
00:39:00,655 --> 00:39:02,620
When you least fucking expect it,
610
00:39:02,825 --> 00:39:05,880
you and that arsehole O'Neill will
get what's coming to you.
611
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,740
- Mister McCann...
- Shh.
612
00:39:26,524 --> 00:39:28,524
(TWINS ARGUING)
613
00:39:45,880 --> 00:39:48,520
(GROANS, SIGHS)
614
00:39:57,880 --> 00:39:59,940
(URINE TRICKLING)
615
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:02,580
(SIGHS)
616
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:11,040
- Dad!
- Fuck's sake... (TOILET FLUSHES)
617
00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:16,840
(TWINS ARGUING)
618
00:40:21,320 --> 00:40:23,280
Stop...
619
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:42,280
(WHISPERS) That way, that way, go!
620
00:40:46,781 --> 00:40:50,660
- Fuck's sake.
- You always take their side.
621
00:40:58,340 --> 00:41:01,120
- All good?
- Yeah.
622
00:41:01,620 --> 00:41:04,680
Mission accomplished. (ENGINE STARTS)
623
00:41:10,891 --> 00:41:13,080
Nice one, Stevie.
624
00:41:13,920 --> 00:41:15,500
Thank God for that.
625
00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,320
- I'm scared.
- Hey, don't be. Listen to me.
626
00:41:20,383 --> 00:41:23,743
If that works out,
we'll be free of him, hun.
627
00:41:24,300 --> 00:41:25,780
Will we though?
628
00:41:27,900 --> 00:41:30,919
Erm... I'm sorry about Samantha.
629
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:34,794
It's alright. You know,
all the things I did with her,
630
00:41:35,540 --> 00:41:38,040
I'd show her the woods,
and where I used to play
631
00:41:38,080 --> 00:41:40,599
when I was little,
and the whole bloody time,
632
00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:43,140
all I could think was I wished
it was you.
633
00:41:47,540 --> 00:41:51,020
- Vin...
- I know. I know. I know. It's fine.
634
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:54,140
I always think about
what you whispered.
635
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:56,920
I don't know.
636
00:41:58,375 --> 00:42:01,400
I don't know anything anymore. (SIGHS)
637
00:42:01,425 --> 00:42:03,700
I just want to do what's
best for Tyler.
638
00:42:05,140 --> 00:42:07,820
I have to do what's best for our boy.
639
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:12,340
Come here.
640
00:42:16,648 --> 00:42:19,280
(DOOR SMASHES) (GIRLS SCREAMING)
641
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:26,260
POLICE: Show me your hands now!
Turn around!
642
00:42:42,515 --> 00:42:44,380
Well, well, well.
643
00:42:45,340 --> 00:42:47,340
What on Earth's this doing here?
644
00:43:53,280 --> 00:43:57,160
(VEHICLE APPROACHING)
645
00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:09,480
Fuck.
646
00:44:10,160 --> 00:44:13,520
Oi! Oi! Oi! Fuck off, dude. Get gone.
647
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:17,400
Sorry, lads, time's up.
This erection has to come down.
648
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,940
(ALL YELLING) Oi! Stop it!
649
00:44:21,886 --> 00:44:23,479
No, don't!
650
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,320
- That's enough, you Irish cunts.
- What's all this?
651
00:44:27,678 --> 00:44:30,239
- What does it look like?
- Looks like two old twats
652
00:44:30,240 --> 00:44:31,840
running through a wood holding paper.
653
00:44:31,864 --> 00:44:33,656
Fuck are you asking for then?
654
00:44:33,680 --> 00:44:38,040
Cease and desist, signed by the
deputy head of planning
655
00:44:38,080 --> 00:44:41,520
- at the council, Nigel Perrywater.
- You what?
656
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:44,640
And I have written
authorisation that this erection
657
00:44:44,680 --> 00:44:46,680
can stay exactly where it is.
658
00:44:48,020 --> 00:44:51,040
Alright. Early breakfast, boys.
659
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:54,240
(CHEERING)
660
00:44:57,165 --> 00:44:59,840
- Celebration?
- Let's go the pub.
661
00:45:00,686 --> 00:45:04,960
- Jim's buying.
- Erin, Erin, come down to the pub
662
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:06,921
and make sure you bring bloody Sugar
with you.
663
00:45:06,945 --> 00:45:08,576
Shirley saved the shack.
664
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:11,680
Shirley and Jim. Christ, my God,
665
00:45:13,420 --> 00:45:15,400
it's a really good day, so...
666
00:45:16,420 --> 00:45:17,860
come and have a drink.
667
00:45:32,725 --> 00:45:34,805
(SIGHS)
668
00:45:40,439 --> 00:45:42,280
- Alright, Sug?
- Alright, Vin.
669
00:45:42,304 --> 00:45:43,336
Is Erin in?
670
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:46,680
- I've no idea.
- Is she not in. No?
671
00:45:46,720 --> 00:45:49,320
- I've only just got up.
- Erin?
672
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:56,400
Er-Erin?
673
00:45:57,420 --> 00:46:01,159
Ty... Tyler... What's going on?
674
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:03,540
- Fuck!
- Oh, my God.
675
00:46:04,740 --> 00:46:06,229
She's gone.
676
00:46:06,253 --> 00:46:08,840
- What?
- She's fucking gone. She's gone.
677
00:46:47,560 --> 00:46:49,600
(SOBBING)
678
00:46:55,440 --> 00:46:59,680
ERIN: 'My darling Vinnie, you are
the dad to our beautiful son
679
00:47:00,020 --> 00:47:02,060
and an amazing friend.
680
00:47:03,140 --> 00:47:04,700
But I am scared,
681
00:47:05,369 --> 00:47:07,080
so I have to go.
682
00:47:08,102 --> 00:47:11,903
I need a fresh start somewhere
that I know he is safe.
683
00:47:13,247 --> 00:47:14,900
I'm so sorry.
684
00:47:16,280 --> 00:47:18,120
I will miss you forever.
685
00:47:18,460 --> 00:47:20,540
And I hope you can forgive me.'
686
00:47:21,740 --> 00:47:25,400
(WHISPERS) 34% was always enough.
687
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:43,280
AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk
688
00:47:43,304 --> 00:47:46,804
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