Original subtitles

Glenn: I am over the moon excited.

After a whirlwind engagement,

Julianka decided that we should have our big day

at the place where we met.

If I can have your attention, please.

I want to go through some of the specifics

and just walk you through my wedding day.

All right, 'cause tomorrow is very, very big.

Amir: You're getting married tomorrow?

Glenn: Yeah.

Amir: My whole personality aside,

I'm happy for my best friend.

Glenn: Julianka and I are getting married

tomorrow at our new home. Chelsea: Does she know?

'Cause she probably has a lot of prep work to do.

Glenn: Yes, she knows. Chelsea: Okay.

Glenn: Okay. Chelsea: Okay.

Glenn: We've done a lot of prep work already.

Let's go over some of the specifics.

I -- Victoria, wake up.

Baxter: What time... What time tomorrow?

Victoria: How dare you touch me?!

Where's DJ and Dean?

I wish they'd just give up their fight over Platinum

and fight over me.

Then I wouldn't have to listen to this pale groomzilla.

Glenn: It's a traditional Belgian wedding, all right.

It starts at 2 P.M. Baxter: Okay.

Glenn: Everyone brings a cheese wheel

for the cheese wheel table. Chelsea: Ugh.

My spiritual business religion -- Wizdo Metrics --

is strictly lactose free.

The mere mention of dairy products bloats my third eye.

Glenn: Okay, the other thing is

there are no significant others allowed.

Chelsea: What? Amir: What?

Glenn: It's an intimate, private Belgian wedding.

Chelsea: Have you lost your mind?

Glenn: I haven't lost my mind.

Most of you do not have significant others.

Chelsea: What if you're not yet dating,

but you've been making eyes at them

across the Pete's Coffee,

and you're pretty sure it's gonna go somewhere?

Glenn: There are no plus-ones allowed.

Andrew: How many people canwe bring?

Chelsea: Yeah. Glenn: Zero people.

Amir: What? Glenn: My wedding!

Dean: Attention! We have an announcement.

As you know, DJ, my son, and I

have been locked in mortal combat

for the control of Platinum Realty.

Well, we have decided to settle it once and for all

by holding...

...a vote.

Chelsea: What?! Dean: Yes!

You will vote for whom

shall become the head of Platinum Realty.

The time has come to make Platinum Dean again.

DJ: The vote is mine!

This company is mine.

And this hat is mine.

Dean: You will all have a vote

to determine who will control Platinum.

Andrew: It's about time, yes!

Baxter: And our votes matter?

Dean: Everyone here will have a vote,

and all of those votes matter.

Chelsea: You're giving us power.

DJ: We're gonna have this vote happening

at the reception tomorrow after the wedding.

Victoria: Tomorrow? Glenn: Wait, Dean,

could we not have it at my wedding?

Dean: Glenn, please.

DJ: It'll probably be something along the lines of

"We now pronounce the owner of Platinum Realty."

Baxter: Do we need to register to vote?

Dean: Well, there is a registry.

You will submit your name to be eligible to vote.

Also, there's a gift registry for the person

who eventually wins. DJ: Yes, yes, yes.

Glenn: And don't forget the wedding registry.

Victoria: Is there a way to go to the vote

and not go to Glenn's wedding?

Chelsea: Oh, that's a great one.

Glenn: The wedding has actually been --

Dean: Shh, shh!

The point of us doing it tomorrow

is that we'll all be dressed up in our formal wear.

Victoria: I see what's happening here.

Deany just wants to see Vicki in her slinkiest gown.

Dean: The ceremony will be the opening act, if you will.

DJ: Yeah. Dean: And then the main event,

the vote for control of Platinum.

Andrew: I have a question.

Just backtracking so we're all on the same page,

what is vote? Dean: What is vote?

You don't know what votes are?

Andrew: Uh, not in terms of the word.

DJ: Who wants pizza, raise their hand.

Dean: That's voting. DJ: That's voting.

Andrew: Getting pizza? Dean: No, no,

you vote for many things--

Andrew: But always pizza?

Dean: It's not -- focus less on the pizza

and more on the act of raising hands.

What do you think that signifies?

Andrew: Pizza.

Baxter: See, the more of you dive in,

the more questions you have.

Andrew: I have a question. Dean: Yes, Andrew?

Andrew: Uh... Dean: Wait, wait.

Does it concern pizza?

Andrew: No questions. Dean: Wonderful.

So everyone understands what's going on...

see you tomorrow at the vote.

Baxter: All right. Dean: Glenn's wedding.

Victoria: Gotta get a new dress for this vote.

Glenn: Remember please memorize the Belgian National Anthem.

I sent you the MP3, okay?

'Cause there's a point in the ceremony

where we all stand and it's very...

It doesn't work if...

everyone's not doing it.

The wedding is more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.

Everything is coming together perfectly.

My bride, my tux, my cheeses, my friends.

And, most importantly, my mommy.

Agneta: Bunny ears come together.

They're destroyed by an evil count,

and now your shoe is tied.

Glenn: Thank you for wearing your best outfit today.

Agneta: Of course, my son is getting married.

It's your wedding day.

Okay, so as we know, the Belgian tradition,

something yellow, something murdered.

I wrang its neck this morning. Glenn: Oh.

Agneta: Like your virginity's death knell.

Now you will be a man and having all the sex.

Glenn: Okay. Agneta: Okay.

Glenn: I don't -- should -- well...

Agneta: Next, your grandfather's cufflinks.

He loved them so much he was buried in them...

for a little while.

Today is your day

that you will always forever leave me.

You're no longer my property.

Glenn: That's not true. I'll always be your little boy.

I'm just sad because...

every little boy dreams of a wedding day

where his father walks him down the aisle.

And even though my father was murdered by a predator

in the South American jungle--

"Predator" was based on the events of Dean's life.

My mom told me my father was on that mission.

I guess I just wish he was here.

I wish my father was here.

I wish my father was here.

I wish my father was --

Agneta: I get it. You wish your father was here.

Glenn: I wish my father was here.

Victoria: I don't know about this wedding,

but look at us -- we all cleaned up nice.

Amir: I gotta admit, Victoria looks banging in that gown.

Too bad that brain is in that body.

DJ: I'm officiating Glenn's wedding,

which means I'll be presiding over two things --

Glenn's nuptials and my triumph over Papa!

Dean: I've never been one for democracy.

So it's surprising how giddy I'm feeling about this vote.

Victoria: Is this vodka?

Okay, but if anybody asks, you tell 'em it's water.

DJ: In order to defeat Papa once and for all,

I need Victoria's support.

I know I could persuade her.

I mean, our connection is fire.

Glenn: I'm not moving on principle.

I'm gonna finish my work here.

DJ: Victoria, hey!

Victoria: DJ. DJ: Hi.

What a...fantastic occasion. Victoria: Hmm.

DJ: I mean, the important thing is probably

this voting situation that's gonna be happening later,

and I just wanted to make sure that we're on the same page.

I'm sure people are gonna be on the fence, but...

I feel like you would be on my side.

Victoria: DJ, don't waste your breath.

What are you gonna tell me, that Dean doesn't love me,

that he doesn't respect me?

That's ridiculous. Everybody knows that he does.

DJ: That's not what I was gonna say.

Victoria: Oh, so what you were going to say was

you thought you and I would run Platinum together.

That we'd be the Beyoncé and Jay Z of real estate.

Is that what you thought?

DJ: Okay, not in those...

Victoria: Let me tell you something.

We are not equals.

I am Victoria King, and I have loved Dean

since the first day I started working at Platinum.

DJ: Okay. Well, the love thing is not what --

Victoria: Oh, so what you think is

that I don't really love Dean,

that I'm substituting him for my withholding father?

That I'm just some sad and desperate woman

in my mid- to late-twenties

with a perfect body and a flawless face?

How dare you?!

You have really hurt me, DJ.

What do you have to say for yourself?

DJ: I mean, I guess I'm sorry, but...

Victoria: Can I have another, please?

Sorry isn't good enough!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bride to outshine.

Move!

Mara: Hey, Table 6. Eugene:

Okay, Table 6.

Chelsea: Hi. Eugene: Hey!

Chelsea: I... Do you know if this is right?

Eugene: Yeah, yeah, that's right. It's printed on paper.

Chambong: Hey. Chelsea: Hi.

Chambong: Oh, boy.

It's the cool table, right?

Chelsea: Oh... Chambong: Who's with me, right?

Chelsea: I guess, me. Mara: Yes.

Chelsea: I'm at the rejects table?

Please, Wizdo Metrics, I need you!

Well, that's different,

'cause my friends and coworkers are here,

and then there's y'all.

So... Chambong: You are so lucky,

aren't you?

Lucky lady! Chelsea: Sort of.

Chambong: Luck, be a lady tonight!

Chelsea: Oh, no.

What could I possibly have in common

with these creatures Glenn has stuck me with?

I'm a broker, so it's like a different...

Chambong: Well, do you have a degree

from a university outside of the U.S.?

Chelsea: No. Chambong: Okay.

Eugene: Y'all are fans of mine, right?

Remember?

Chelsea: You're a realtor, right?

Eugene: Well, I was a football player.

Chelsea: Oh, right, right, right.

Eugene: You know, I once got hit so hard

that I spoke Mandarin Chinese

for a week. Mara: Is that right?

Chambong: That's where my degree is from, yeah.

Eugene: From Mandarin? Chelsea: That's not a place.

Chambong: Yeah, Mandarin U.

Chelsea: Mandarin U?

That settles it. This was a mistake.

It's just a strange grouping, it feels like, to me.

Chambong: Oh, no, no, no!

That dirties my third eye.

Please!

Oh. Soft cheeses release my inner evil dwarf.

Chelsea: Oh, my God.

We're all Wizdo Metric. Mara: Oh.

Chambong: You have an aversion to mozzarella?

Chelsea: Yes, of course. Mara: Of course.

The solar specifics of that one interaction

just left me clouded.

Chambong: Tell me about it, sister.

Chelsea: How long have you guys been Wizdo Metric?

Mara: I was raised in a Wizdo Metric family.

Chelsea: I thought it was just started in 1987.

Mara: I was born in '87.

Chelsea: Congratulations. Mara: Yeah.

Chambong: A lot of my clients are Wizdo Metric.

One of my patients is Charlie Sheen's night nurse.

Eugene: Oh. Mara: Is that right? Great.

Eugene: I once got hit so hard that I joined every religion.

Mara: Is that right? Neat. Chelsea: Wow.

You're drinking, though.

Aren't you Muslim? Eugene: Yeah.

Mara: It's all right.

Eugene: I'm always doing something wrong.

Chambong: To Wizdo Metrics.

No, no! Okay.

Chelsea: I'm starting to doubt Wizdo Metrics.

Dean: Join the bandwagon.

Vote for Rosedragon.

That won't work.

His last name is Rosedragon as well.

Vote for Dean.

DJ is mean.

Ugh, poetry.

Agneta.

Agneta: Mr. Rosedragon, I must speak with you.

Dean: Look at you in that dowdy, concealing uniform.

You drive me insane.

Agneta: I'm wearing my good dowdy uniform.

Dean: Mmm!

Agneta: We must speak about our son.

Dean: Who? Agneta: Our son.

We need to talk about him.

Dean: Now, Agneta, we have had an arrangement for many years

that we do not speak of Glenn.

We certainly don't acknowledge him as our son,

and we don't acknowledge that we have the secret.

So you're breaking all of these rules right away.

Agneta: He is like every other bridegroom.

He has dreamed since he was a little boy

of his father walking him down the aisle.

Dean: Doesn't this needlessly complicate things?

It's a very important day for him.

He doesn't need this bombshell dropped on him now.

Agneta: He needs his father today of all days.

You cannot be so sadistic as to deny him that.

Dean: Do not be so what?

Agneta: Sadistic.

Dean: Say it again.

Agneta: Sadistic.

Dean:

Agneta: I would grasp your hands,

but mine are too cracked...

Dean: Agneta: ...from washing floors.

Dean: Agneta: And ironing.

Dean: Oh, why are you doing this to me?

Agneta: Look at my knuckles.

Are they not swollen with arthritis?

Dean: Oh, so swollen with arthritis.

Perhaps you can help me.

My morning coat seems to be wrinkled.

Maybe you could steam it with the heat of our lovemaking.

Agneta: You get get nice and wrinkly

walking our son down the aisle,

and then I will iron your coat,

I will take off your cravat,

I will take off your vest. Dean: Oh.

Agneta: And I will take off your pants.

Dean:

On the one hand, I don't want to do this.

On the other hand...

I'm enjoying that you're telling me what to do.

Agneta: I could steam the steam from your ascot.

Dean: You creature from another dimension!

Andrew: Knock, knock. Baxter: Who's there?

Andrew: Darrel, your neighbor. Baxter: Really?

After yesterday, you're gonna show up here?

Andrew: Look, don't give me attitude right now.

Anyone can do knock, knock jokes.

Baxter: We do knock, knock dramas.

What, I can't talk to you through this little window

in the door? Well, how about this.

Andrew: With your stupid little face in the middle.

Dean: Bixby, Angelo, listen.

At the end of the reception,

we will be voting for the new head of Platinum.

Baxter: Yes. Dean: And I hope

I can count on your vote. Baxter: Yes.

Andrew: Absolutely. Dean: Thank you.

DJ: Baxter, Andrew,

what's up, brahs. Baxter: Hey!

Andrew: Hey, man. I didn't see you there.

DJ: You know that there's the whole voting thing,

and I just want you guys to know

that I'm cool with you guys.

Baxter: Buddy, we got it. It's you.

DJ: Oh, yeah? Baxter: Yeah.

Dean: You just said you were voting for me.

Andrew: We are. Baxter: Everybody wins.

Dean: Well, you can't vote for both of us.

You have to vote for one of us. Andrew: We're not.

We're gonna vote for you. Dean: Thank you.

Baxter: And then I'm gonna vote for him.

Dean: No, no.

That just cancels out a vote.

We need you both to vote for one person.

And I hope that person will be me.

DJ: Me. Dean: Me.

DJ: Me. Dean: You should vote for me.

How would you like access

to the fabled executive washroom?

Baxter: Really?! Andrew: All right.

Baxter: They got the good soap in there.

Dean: Yes, they do.

DJ: How about if I took over,

maybe we don't worry about the executive bathrooms.

We just kind of pee when we're ready to pee.

Baxter: Like pee pads?

We pee on pee pads in the office?

DJ: There'll be pee pads all over that place.

Baxter: Sounds pretty good. Dean: That sounds better?

Just... Baxter: Yeah.

Dean: Dog urination pads all over the off--

DJ: But not for dogs.

Plus, there's a bunch of parties I can take you fellas to.

Andrew: That's cool, but back to the pee pads.

There'd be pee pads everywhere?

Dean: Andrew, I can give you something

that I know you desire.

Fatherly affection in a limited capacity.

Andrew: Hugs, cuddles, verbal I love yous?

Dean: Hand firmly on shoulder, meaningful eye contact,

and a nod of approval.

Andrew: And you'll come to my Little League games?

Dean: You're playing in a little league?

Baxter: He plays in it,

and he marks off a spot in the bleachers

every week for his dad.

Dean: I will... have a meaningful message

sent before every game. DJ: Parties.

Baxter: There's nothing in it for me.

DJ: Parties! Baxter: This is my guy.

This is my guy. Dean: We'll have parties.

We'll have plenty of parties.

Baxter: What kind of parties?

Dean: Karaoke, the empty orchestra.

DJ: I got something to do.

I have to go do these nuptials.

And I just want to know if I have your vote.

Baxter: Listen, you got our vote.

Andrew: You absolutely do. DJ: Okay, thank you.

Great, thank you. Bye. Baxter: Later.

Dean: Boys. Baxter: I liked him a lot.

Andrew: I did like him.

Dean: The future of the company is at stake,

and that means your future is at stake as well.

Do I have your votes?

Baxter: Yeah, absolutely. Dean: Thank you.

Baxter: Absolutely. Andrew: 100%.

Bye, Dad. Papa.

Daddy! Baxter: Hey, who's that guy?

Is that a third party?

Andrew: Want to vote for him? Baxter: I liked him.

Amir: My little Glenn is about to get married.

I hope he remembers who helped get him here,

especially when Julianka brings her hot friends around.

DJ: This officiant is ready to roar.

Glenn: I'm about to walk down the aisle at my own wedding.

Did I forget anything? Should I pee first?

Is it unlucky?

I forget the rule!

Dean: Glenn?

Glenn: Dean.

Glenn: I'm here to walk you down the aisle.

Glenn: Oh. Wow, what an honor.

Dean: Well...

Also, uh...

other information, um...

I am your biological father.

Now, you will have the length of our trip to the altar

to ask me anything you wish.

But then we shall never speak of this again.

Glenn: Wait, I mean... I don't understand.

I mean, why didn't you tell me this sooner?

I... Dean: Well, Glenn,

I never wanted to be a father,

I never wanted children. Glenn: But you have DJ.

Dean: Well, children happen to me,

but I never wanted them.

Glenn: There are so many things that I --

that I want to ask you.

I mean, what's a Roth IRA?

Will the Leaning Tower of Pisa ever fall?

Dean: Glenn, I'd really focus

and pick a good question that you'd like to ask

as time is running out. Glenn: Okay, I've got it,

I've got it. Um...

Are you and Mom ever getting back together?

Dean: Sadly, no. Glenn: Okay.

Can I declare my love for you as a parental figure?

Dean: You may inwardly.

Glenn: Oh, okay.

Um, well, can I call you Dad?

Dean: Uh, I prefer you didn't. Glenn: Daddy?

Dean: That's worse. Glenn: Father?

Dean: Um, "Dean."

Glenn: Dean? Dean: Dean.

Glenn: Oh, like a dean of my parents?

Or dean of parenthood?

Dean: Yes, but don't say the second part.

Glenn: Okay. Um, jeez, what else, what else?

Dean: Running out of time, Glenn.

Glenn: Dean, I have so many questions before we get there.

I mean, the walk is almost done. What is true love?

Is it real? Are soul mates an actual thing?

There are so many things that I don't know.

Dean: You're really packing them in at the end!

Glenn: Well, I just --

I mean, if they were bullet point questions...

I'll try to think of yes or no answers.

Dean: Glenn, all I can tell you is

love is a thing

that is sometime elusory, sometimes real.

You roll the dice, and you pray you get something good.

Glenn: Oh, you-- Dean: Well, here we are.

Glenn: What, no! Dean: You're well on your way

to a journey into married life.

Good luck, Glenn. Glenn: Thank you, Dean. Father.

Papa? Papa? Dean: Dean.

Glenn: Dean's my father?!

I've got my dream girl and my dream daddy?!

Andrew: Why was Dean walking Glenn down the aisle?

Baxter: And why was Julianka at the altar waiting on them?

DJ: What a pleasure it is for us to all be here

to witness the marriage of Glenn and...

Julianka: Julianka. DJ: Julianka,

as they celebrate this wonderful day together with us.

Glenn: Julianka whispered in my ear

that my tux was tight and right.

DJ: The first of the Belgian traditions

is the jumping of the butter.

Glenn...

I believe it's you first.

Glenn: Groom first.

Julianka: Oh!

Oh! DJ: It's okay.

Glenn: It's okay. That's good luck.

DJ: Good.

The second part of the Belgian traditions

is the passing of the fruit...

to symbolize the fruits that she will be bearing

and that we'll all be able to enjoy together.

Papa, don't drop the fruit!

You know, that's 10 years of bad luck.

It's supposed to be passed by hand.

Chelsea: Oh.

DJ: It's supposed to be passed by hand.

Andrew: Sorry. I didn't know either.

DJ: I don't know if I said this,

but it's symbolizing babies.

And then once it gets to the back,

roll it back to me.

Andrew: Hey! Baxter: There we are.

DJ: The bride and the groom would like to share their vows,

which they've prepared themselves, with you now.

Julianka: Glenn, if there's one thing that we know is true

it's that love at first sight is always forever.

Glenn: Julianka, every day with you will be an adventure,

because we hardly know anything about each other at all.

Dean: Ugh, so boring.

Amir, we both know that I've been the only one

who will ever put up with your shenanigans.

A vote for me would be a good idea for you.

Amir: Only Dean would ask for votes by insulting people.

Glenn: Julianka, I can't wait to discover

all the hidden things about you,

like, what color are your eyes without contacts

and what do your feet look like.

Julianka: Glenn, I want to wake up every morning next to you

and wonder who are you?

Like, really, who are you?

Dean: Chelsea...

I've indulged every one of your whimsical failures.

You cannot survive anywhere else.

Chelsea: Oh!

Glenn: Julianka...

who are these people?

Are they your family?

Are they your friends?

What's their deal?

Dean: Victoria? Victoria: Yes, Dean?

Dean: No.

We both know you're going to vote for me,

so let's not waste any breath.

Victoria: How dare he presume that?

I mean, okay, it might be true, but how dare he?

Glenn: Julianka, I look forward to facing

all kinds of challenges with you.

Like, what are you allergic to. Julianka: Oh.

I'm deathly allergic... Glenn: Shh!

I want to be surprised.

DJ: You guys done?

Glenn: He's my friend.

DJ: Is that it?

Julianka: Glenn, I'm so glad you don't know my stance

on whether or not I want to have children.

So I'll have complete control of that.

Dean: Chambong,

I have nothing to say to you.

Julianka: I can't wait for you to discover

that I'm really aggressive in bed

and you can decide later whether or not

you're comfortable with that.

Glenn: Julianka, I can't wait for you to discover

that it's all good...

under my hood.

Dean: Mara, if I could,

I would give everything to you.

DJ: Now if anyone objects to this union,

speak now or forever hold your piece.

Agneta: I object.

Not to the marriage of my sweet Glennevere.

But to the horrible, selfish actions of his father --

Dean.

Dean: Agneta, I am furious and aroused!

Agneta: Yes, that's right.

He is the father of Glenn.

Chelsea: Is everyone at Platinum secretly Dean's son?

Am I his son, too?

Victoria: Old news!

This wedding sucks!

Agneta: We made lust, not love!

Victoria: Whore.

Agneta: He stuck his hand on my lady croissant.

We made the beast with two backs.

But with gills and a flipper, a tail that slapped.

We made the clam.

And out of that came this beautiful slice of heaven --

a cloud that walks as a man.

DJ: Wait a minute, so Glenn is...

You're my half bro-bro?

Papa? You're half bro-bro?

Glenn: I just found out.

DJ: Okay. Time out, time out.

I just need to take a break for a second from this wedding.

Just give me a minute.

Papa has gone too far

with his secrets and lies this time.

It's time for me to put an end to this.

You know what?

I know that we said we were gonna do the vote later,

but we're doing that right now.

Now is the time to do the vote instead.

Papa, will you come up here and let's have these brokers

vote on who should be running Platinum.

Glenn: DJ, can we just finish the wedding?

DJ: It's not your time right now.

Glenn: It literally is my time right now.

Julianka: Glenn, it's fine.

We'll the thing and then we'll have our wedding.

DJ: Thank you so much...

Julianka: Julianka. DJ: Julianka.

Dean: Fine, Son, we will do the vote right now.

DJ: Thank you, Papa. Let's do the vote now.

Brokers, stand next to the person

you believe should be running Platinum.

Dean: Now is the time, make your choice.

Victoria: I choose Dean.

This is a thing that finally brings us together!

Just you watch.

DJ: Thank you, gentlemen.

Chelsea: He's Dean.

He was gonna win somehow anyway,

so why fight it?

DJ: Boys. Andrew: Oh, whoops.

We didn't mean to fake out DJ. Baxter: Yeah.

He was just in the path to Dean. Andrew: Yeah.

DJ: I didn't even get the bro vote?

Glenn, Glenn. Dean: What will it be, Glenn?

Glenn: How can a man choose

between his father and his brother?

And on his wedding day?

I know what I must do.

I've decided that

I'll abstain from choosing a side

because I hereby quit Platinum Realty.

Amir: Glenn! No!

Victoria:

Bye-bye, bitch!

Dean: Glenn, my acknowledged son!

Glenn: I started at the bottom. I am so excited --

beyond excited to be working for Platinum Realty.

I've been a broker to the stars.

There is a wonderful woman--

Just Mac: Don't fucking touch me,

Wonder Bread motherfucker.

Glenn: And I've even been on top.

Can I demote someone?

Can I fire someone?

Can I move their offices?

Dean: Not as such.

Glenn: And now it's time to meet a new Glenn.

Husband, father...

unemployed human.

Julianka: So I'm the bread-winner?

Glenn: Looks like it. Julianka: Oh.

Female bread-winners are always in control of the relationship.

Dean: Very well.

I still have all the rest of the brokers.

While, DJ, you have nothing.

You're finished, Son.

You're finished. DJ: Well done, Papa.

Dean: A lesson to all the fruits of my loins --

both present and those in hiding --

I cannot be defeated.

The Dean Rosedragon era begins anew!

DJ: There is one more thing, though...

Game's not done yet.

The network did mention to me

that I will have my own spin-off.

Oh, right.

And it would be "Bajillion Dollar Properties: Miami."

Dean: What?!

DJ: Who would like to come with me to Miami?

Platinum was always a consolation prize at best.

Now, I start my own empire.

The DJ Rosedragon era begins!

Dean: I did not see that coming.

I'll give him that.

But the fact remains...

No one does wish to join you, DJ,

so it is a moot point and--

Chelsea?! Chelsea: I'm gonna go.

I'm sick of you treating me like I'm a failure,

like my ideas are just whims.

I need to go where at least someone's taking me seriously.

Dean: Chelsea, I... Chelsea: I'm sorry.

But I'm a substantive person.

Dean: I'll have to take your word for it.

Chelsea: Miami will offer me a fresh start.

More hot Latino guys, fewer options for spiritual cults,

empanadas.

Dean: Well... good luck with your one--

Victoria?!

Victoria: Dean, everything that Chelsea said --

I need to be appreciated.

For my talents...

my body, and my face.

Chelsea: That's now how we win anymore, baby.

Victoria: Shh, it's my moment. Chelsea: Okay.

Victoria: I will be appreciated in Miami.

Amir: Who am I gonna up-skirt at the office?

Dean: Baxter? Andrew: No, Bax. No, no, no.

Baxter: What, I was just going through a--

Dean: Oh, you were just moving up.

Baxter: There was a space. Dean: Oh, I see.

I thought you were going over. You were just moving.

Baxter: No. Dean: All right.

Victoria: More gay men in Miami.

Baxter: I know, there's more competition.

Dean: Why would he care?

What? Baxter: I'm gay.

Dean: Since when?

Baxter: He was the first person I came out to.

I mean, he really just doesn't pay attention.

Glenn: Is it possible to maybe finish the ceremony

so that we can kiss?

Andrew: I still don't understand where you're going.

DJ: Will Smith's Miami.

Chelsea: Bienvenidos a...

Baxter: Miami.

DJ: Pitbull's Miami.

Amir: What?

Dean: Don't get too excited about the Pitbull thing.

DJ: Pitbull's Miami. Dean: Don't -- DJ!

Stop invoking the name of Pitbull.

Amir?

You know Pitbull will never be your friend.

As I walk Chambong walk inexplicably in a circle,

I find myself wondering,

could it be I was too intent on cementing my legacy,

so distracted in my fight with DJ

that I lost sight of what matters most?

DJ: I cannot wait to start my own brokerage.

All I need is a teensy loan from my Papa.

Glenn: I'd like to get this show back on the road

so I can finally get nasty with Julianka.

And by nasty, I mean kiss her tenderly.

Victoria: Seal your windows and strap down your men, Miami.

Hurricane Victoria is about to touch down.

Baxter: I will miss those guys, but I'll always have Andrew.

Andrew: Always.

Hey, is Dr. Chambong okay?

Should we call an actual doctor?

Amir: I'll tell you who I won't miss in the office

is Victoria.

Strutting around in her tight dresses

and yelling at me.

Oh, shit!

I'm completely in love with her.

Chelsea: Since I'm as good as gone,

I feel like it's a safe time to reveal my name

isn't really Chelsea Leight-Leigh, it's...

Dean: I don't believe in regrets or mistakes or what-ifs

or whys or could haves or should haves.

Mnh-mnh.

♪ I just believe in Platinum ♪

And I believe in myself.

And, yes, I'm fully aware that I am left with

the worst and least attractive brokers.