Original subtitles

Glenn: Dean's a broker now, and it's a little hard to get used to.

Dean: Ohhh.

Stavros: I prepare for you a bald eagle cutlet

with a diamond-crusted couscous.

Dean: Napkin.

Stavros: Only the finest for Mr. Dean.

Amir: We all aspire to be rich douchebags,

but even I think this is too much.

Stavros: Mr. Dean, do you really want to eat with your own hands?

Dean: You know me too well. Stavros:

Have at it.

At first, I was leery of getting down

in the mud with these people,

but it's actually been a bit of a lark to rough it.

Chelsea: I can't take this anymore.

So...we love that you are hanging with us

and being a broker. Dean: It's fun.

Chelsea: I just think if you really want

the full employee layperson experience...

Dean: Which I do.

Chelsea: ...you could maybe tone down

some of the, uh, glaring opulence.

Dean: Like what?

Another bite please.

Chelsea: Uh, having servants might set the wrong tone.

Dean: Stavros is not my servant.

Stavros: I'm a valet. Dean: He's my valet.

Amir: Who is she, and why is she here?

Dean: That's Gloria. She's his Stavros.

Chelsea: So, she's Stavros's servant?

Dean: Mm-hmm. Stavros has very weak elbows.

There's a lot he can't do.

My behavior is off-putting to the laymen?

Well, balderdash.

Stavros, tell them how down to earth I am.

Stavros: Oh, Mr. Dean? He's just one of the guys!

Dean: Thank you. Oh.

Stavros, my bell arm is tired.

Scratching post. Stavros: Oh.

Glenn: You know, sometimes you just come off a bit aloof,

aristocratic, out of touch from the common man,

and the common man is buying a lot of these properties.

Amir: Can you maybe act aristocratic when you're home?

Chelsea: Yes. It's called code switching.

Dean: I should, like most working people,

wear a false face when around others.

Chelsea: Yes. Mm-hmm. Speak one way with your friends

or at the beauty shop,

but then when you get around white people or everyday people,

you have to clean up how you talk.

Glenn: It's the same thing I do. When I'm around my mom,

nothing but clean language.

PG, even G-rated themes.

But when I'm around my juggalo friends

that I play video games with, all bets are off.

You might hear the word anus or --

Chelsea: Stavros, can you please make faces to distract Glenn?

Stavros: Of course. Dean: Thank you, Stavros.

Chelsea: What if you tried to just have normal meal

like what we're eating? Like salad or...

Dean: I thought this was some sort of joke.

Chelsea: Why would... Dean: This is your lunch?

Amir: How would this be a joke?

Dean: Well, it's like, you take a cardboard box,

and you put some leaves in it.

And then you say, "We're going to trick

Dean into thinking we eat this as food."

Chelsea: It's not a prank. It's just our lunch.

Dean: So, prank's on you? Chelsea: Wait, wait, wait.

Are you telling me Dean has never had a salad?

Amir: We have to see what happens when he eats a salad.

Dean: What is this? Amir: Kale.

Dean: Stavros, hold the fork.

Amir: Dean, hold the fork yourself.

Dean: What's that material?

Amir: It's a plastic.

You're not going to eat the fork, Dean.

Dean: To touch it though... I'll touch the metal part.

Stainless steel, I gather?

Amir: Kind of. I got it from Ikea.

Dean: Stavros, hand.

Stavros: Yes, my pleasure. Okay. Gloria, hand.

Chelsea: That was bizarre.

Amir: It's like every part of him rejected the leaf.

Victoria: What two thumbs, flawless skin,

and a new $12 million listing in Brentwood?

Victoria fucking King!

The owners need to sell fast,

but with a property like this, it shouldn't be a problem.

The house needs new windows

before I can put it on the market.

Fortunately, I pulled the coup of the century.

I hired the Property Brothers.

Georch: I can't do this. Craigory: You can, buddy.

Georch: I don't think I can do this.

Craigory: Of course you can. Just follow my lead.

Use your creativity.

Victoria: Hi. Craigory: Hey!

Victoria: Sorry to interrupt. Georch: How are you?

Victoria: Victoria King. Hello. Hi.

Craigory: Hi. I'm Craigory. That's Georch.

Like it's spelled. Yeah. Georch: Like it sounds.

Victoria: George and -- Craigory: Georch.

Victoria: Listen. I'm actually looking for Jonathan and Drew Scott.

The Property Brothers.

Craigory: Oh, you found the Property brothers.

We're not thetrademark Property Brothers from the TV show.

Our last name is Property, and we fix houses.

And we are twins, and that's what we do.

Georch: And we're looking to get our own --

Craigory: We're looking to get our own reality show.

Victoria: So, when I hired theProperty Brothers,

I actually got the Property brothers.

Together: We are going to fix this house up.

Victoria: You can't refer to the camera like that.

Just keep it natural.

Craigory: But that's what I thought this whole thing was.

You're getting a great deal on us fixing up these windows,

and you're going to help us launch our new show

a la the Property Brothers.

It's a great opportunity. We are the Proper-tunity Brothers.

Proper-tunity knocking.

Victoria: I don't know that that's going to sell.

Craigory: What is that? Proper-tunity knocking.

Victoria: Look, I just need these windows fixed, okay?

Because I have to sell this house for $12 million --

Craigory: And we will sell it for $12 million.

Victoria: No, I'llsell it for $12 million.

You'll fix the windows.

Do you have construction experience?

Craigory: Go grab a tape measure.

Georch: I don't. I do not.

Victoria: You don't have construction experience?

Craigory: I have all the experience, and that's okay

because I have enough experience for both of us.

Georch: I was writing a novel.

My experience is in, like, writing

sort of pastoral fiction.

Craigory: Which he's great at,

but we're going to figure this out together.

Victoria: Okay, I don't care about any of this, all right?

These are the original windows. I need them all replaced,

and I need it done in a week. Craigory: Great, we'll do it.

Go get a tape measure. We'll start on it right now.

Victoria: He doesn't know what he's doing.

Craigory: He knows exactly what he's doing.

Victoria: No, he doesn't. Craigory: He does.

I'm telling you, listen. And even if he doesn't,

I can talk down to him the way I'll talk down to America.

That's how these shows work. You talk down to America.

You show them what to do. Thank you so much.

Georch: You got it. Craigory: I'm going to measure.

Take these numbers down. 37 and a quarter.

Victoria: What were those numbers?

Georch, what were the numbers?

Craigory: Trust me. I can do this,

and I can handle all the extra work.

Victoria: You're not going to get frustrated

about the fact you have to show him everything.

Craigory: No, because I have the patience of a saint.

You will realize that. America will realize that.

Victoria: Okay, this is not ideal,

but I have zero time to find a replacement.

So, I'll just have to take a chance on...Craigory and Georch.

Craigory: He can do a lot more than you're giving him credit for.

Victoria: Okay.

Dean: The poor brokers caught between me and DJ

in our struggle for Platinum.

I've encouraged them to take matters into their hands

if they wish to see a change in leadership.

Baxter: Delivery, DJ Rosedragon. Andrew: Is this the right place?

Baxter: Take good care of these boxes. Drop them.

DJ: Hey!

Baxter: Oh! DJ Rosedragon?

DJ: Baxter, Andrew, hi.

Baxter: Who? Andrew: Who's that?

DJ: Okay. Baxter: We're deliverymen.

Yeah, it took us awhile to find you.

Sorry, we're new faces. DJ: This is fun.

Andrew: Hey. Uh, my name is, uh...Melwood.

DJ: What is it? Andrew: Melwood.

DJ: Melwood. Baxter: Hi...Charmane.

DJ: Charmane. Andrew: Is that a camera?

We've never been on TV before.

Baxter: Oh, man, I can't wait to tell

the old ball and chain about this.

Andrew: Yeah. Baxter: Just sign.

We need you to sign for these. DJ: For the boxes?

Baxter: Uh, yeah. Just your typical form.

Andrew: I've read it. It's very boring.

Baxter: It's not worth it. It will put you to sleep.

Andrew: Honestly, the best thing you can do right now

is put the pen on the paper

and sign it without even recognizing what it is.

Baxter: Just right down there at the bottom.

Andrew: One, two, three, sign. Everybody do it.

DJ: Wait, this is the transfer of ownership form.

Andrew: Yeah, we're transferring ownership of the boxes --

Baxter: Of these boxes to you.

DJ: No, this is from me back to Dean for Platinum.

Andrew: Not you. It's not technical.

DJ: What is this about? Baxter, what is this about?

Baxter: Who? My name's Charmane.

DJ: Charmane what?

Baxter: Charmane. DJ: Charmane Charmane?

How do you spell it?

Baxter: C-H-A-R-M-E-I-N.

DJ: That's the last name or the first name?

Baxter: That's the last name.

DJ: First name? Baxter: C-H --

DJ: No.

Andrew: Oh, I forgot. It's a law.

You have to know how to spell your name.

DJ: And your name again? Andrew: Mel...wood.

DJ: Last name? Baxter: Charmein.

Andrew: Charmein. DJ: You guys are brothers?

Baxter: How did you know?! Do we look like each other?!

DJ: Baxter. Andrew.

Andrew: You ready to get your mind blown?

Baxter: This is going to blow you away.

Andrew: Are you ready to have your mind blown?

DJ: Yes.

Andrew: Well, guess what?

That's right, everyone. It is I, Andrew Wright.

Baxter: And it is I, Baxter Reynolds.

Well, you got us, but these are your boxes.

Andrew: We do you need you to sign this page.

You can sign it with this marker.

Sorry about the whole disguise thing.

Baxter: Yeah, we're just -- DJ: You want me to sign it

with a dry erase marker?

Andrew: Yeah. Baxter: Yeah.

DJ: It's the same.

I'm not going to sign it, guys.

You can take it now, or you can leave it here. I don't mind.

Baxter: Thank you.

Dean: Computer, open. I command you.

Stavros: You have to use your hands.

Dean: Computer, open.

I have accepted the challenge put forth by Chelsea, Glen,

and Amir to put on the affect

of a regular Joseph around the office.

Did you hear the noise?

Stavros: Yeah, cool noise. All right.

Dean: And there we go.

Ah! Stavros, I think I'll need

another one of those e-mail machines.

Stavros: Right away. Dean: Mine and Stavros's roles

are reversed from when we met so long ago.

Now he is the civilizing tutor,

and I the feral child learning the ways of man.

Stavros: It's a stapler. Dean: Stapler?

Stavros: Yeah. Dean: One who staples?

Stavros: That could describe a person who staples.

Dean: I could be the stapler if I mastered this machine.

Stavros: Yes. Dean: Show me.

Stavros: It's kind of like a panini press but for paper.

Why don't you go ahead and give it a whack?

Dean: Ugh!

Stavros: You did it!

Dean: I stapled. I am the stapler.

Learning the ways of the office commoner is exhilarating.

I want more.

Hey, Chelsea.

Chelsea: Oh. Dean: Chelsea, you know,

since I'm a broker now, I thought I would indulge

in some of the famous water-cooler talk.

Chelsea: Oh yeah? Dean: Happens in offices.

Would you care for a water cone?

Chelsea: Sure. Dean: All right.

There you are, co-worker.

Chelsea: Thank you.

Dean: I'll also have one as is the ritual.

And now we talk about the things of the day.

Did you see television recently?

Chelsea: Uh...yes. I have seen a few things.

Dean: Well, I just found out about this show called "The Sopranos."

Chelsea: Um, I am really busy.

I have all of these contracts that I need to collated

and put together so I don't know.

Dean: Collating? That sounds technical.

Chelsea: Oh, you don't know what collating is?

It is technical.

Dean: Perhaps I could, uh...

help you.

Is that what one says?

Chelsea: You want to help me?

Dean: I'd like to try.

What do I do?

Chelsea: Oh, wow, yeah. This is actually happening.

You just going to take one from each pile,

and then you're going to use this guy. You know who he is?

Dean: I know exactly who he is. Chelsea: What's his name?

Dean: Stapler. Chelsea: Yay!

Dean: He makes me the stapler. Chelsea: Yes.

You then become the stapler,

and this is just stapler's monster.

Dean: I like that.

It's alive!

Chelsea: So, you go: him, his friend, Billy Bob Thornton,

and Michael D. Costillo, head-shot photographer.

Dean: These are terms of art? Chelsea: Um, no, just kind of

what I named different pieces of paper so I don't get bored.

Dean: This one again is? Chelsea: Him.

Dean: Him. His friend.

Chelsea: Billy Bob Thornton. Dean: Billy Bob Thornton.

Chelsea: Michael D. Costillo, head-shot photographer.

Together: Him, his friend, Billy Bob Thornton,

Michael D. Costillo, head-shot photographer.

Chelsea: And then, you staple it.

Dean: You've been stapled! Chelsea: Oh, so good!

Together: Him, his friend, Billy Bob Thornton,

Michael D. Costillo, head-shot photographer.

Chelsea: Stapler. Dean: I've bested you!

Chelsea: Wow, this water's bad.

Glenn: I was at my Beverly Hills post office listing

when I got hit on the head and blacked out.

I woke up in Huntington Gardens with Serge and Gio,

and, oops, I'm digging my own grave.

Serge: While we're young. Glenn: Yes, I know. I'm trying.

Gio: We've been here since dawn.

Serge: This is the worst digging your own grave --

Second worst I've ever seen.

Glenn: I can't say I wasn't warned.

Gio: Stay out of Beverly Hills.

Serge: I can't remember a time

we weren't watching you dig your own grave for us.

Glenn: Oh, ow, ow.

Gio: Enough with the bitching and moaning.

Glenn: I'm not bitching and moaning. My wrists hurt.

One, two, three, four.

Serge: Oh my God. You have to count them?

Gio: Oh, my God. This is the worst day.

Glenn: It's killing my hands. Look at this handle.

If you wanted this to go faster,

you would have given me the necessary tools.

Serge: We would have had a real man dig his own grave

instead of Mary Poppins over here.

Glenn: Complaining about my hands makes me Mary Poppins?

I moisturize these for a reason.

Because I'm a man who wants to be respected

in the professional world.

What do you do to your hands? Hmm?

Serge: I put Aquaphor on them at night.

Glenn: Okay, well, you should have

a daytime regimen, as well.

Serge: What do you do in the daytime?

Glenn: I put Aquaphor on them in the daytime,

and I put a four-minute timer on with the gloves.

And then it soaks in completely.

Serge: Dig! When do you have time to do that?

Glenn: Once an hour. It's four minutes of your life

once an hour if you're doing it all the time.

Serge: Can I see them? Let me see that.

It's amazing.

Glenn: My doctor told me that my hands

are actually softer than lambskin.

Gio: You're standing there complaining

and not digging a hole. Serge: Oh, I'm so excited

for when you're underneath the dirt, and I'm tapping it down.

Glenn: I hit something hard, and the vibrations are going up

and now the whole upper body --

Serge: Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.

Give it to me. Give it to me. Watch how a man does it.

Gio: It's not brain surgery. Look, you dig ditches.

Literally, you dig ditches is the easiest thing in the world.

Serge: Oh, my hand! Oh, my hand! Oh, my hand!

No, use your leg. See? Use your leg with the shovel.

Gio: Look at that.

Glenn: Well, keep digging. Don't just sit there.

You were bitching at me for not doing it quick enough.

Go!

God. You're such a pain in the ass.

You think I enjoyed it? Gio: Whoa! Whoa!

Glenn: No, for real. You think I enjoyed it?

Serge: There's no safety on that. I had it removed.

That gun has no safety.

Glenn: You think you've been bitching for two hours.

I've been bitching for two hours.

You were the one doing most of the talking.

And then you with the snide remarks after that.

God! Finish the grave, all right?!

Gio: Hey, look. Now that you've seen how he does it,

maybe you should give it a little whirl.

Serge: Here, I'll trade you the shovel for the gun.

It's all good?

Glenn: Oh no. No, no, no. Step back. Step back.

You are going to dig my grave for me,

and when you're done, thenI'll get in.

Sorry, little birds. Looks like you didn't get up

early enough to get this worm.

Gio: Somehow I feel like we're getting Tom Sawyer'ed here.

Glenn: It was your big mouth that did it, too.

Gio: Okay, look. He dug your grave.

Serge: I think that's about right.

Gio: Joke's on him. Glenn: Okay.

Serge: I feel like such a jerk.

Glenn: Let's see how this goes. Save me all the work.

Andrew: Sure, we weren't able to get DJ

to sign Platinum back to Dean.

Baxter: But, we have an offer on our listing in Palisades Park.

Andrew: Mr. Jindal, our seller,

is counting on us to get the highest price.

Baxter: And that's going to be tough

because the buyer is represented by Quistian Gayle.

Baxter: We have to stay strong. Andrew: Yeah.

Baxter: This isn't even about us.

Andrew: No. Baxter: It's about the seller.

Andrew: You can't let Quistian Gayle get to you.

This guy, this is what he does.

Last time we met with him he got you all riled up.

Baxter: He promised his place in Mexico, and I just --

Andrew: Did he give to you? Baxter: No, of course not.

I showed up in Cancun. No place.

Quistian: Hey! Andrew: Hey, Quistian.

Quistian: How are you? How is everything? Good to see you.

Did you go to Mexico? How'd that work out?

Baxter: I went down there, but you weren't there.

Quistian: You didn't make it all the way down.

Could you pass me my thing real quick?

Thanks. Guys, I'm very excited to be here.

Excited to be here? Happy to be here, all right?

Andrew: Yeah, we're glad to see you.

Quistian: Oh, good. Good to see you, as well. Thanks, man.

Let's get it over with quickly, all right?

How many bedrooms does it have?

Let's say it at the same time. One, two, three.

Together: Four.

Quistian: How many bathrooms? One, two, three.

Together: Four and a half.

Quistian: How many dollars you want to spend on it?

Easy, $4.

Andrew: $11 million.

Quistian: What did you say? Andrew: I said $11 million.

Quistian: I'll move up to $5. $5 is my first offer.

Let's start from there, and work it out.

Andrew: Come on. Don't be ridiculous.

Quistian: It's a joke. It's a funny joke.

Hello?! Hello?! Hello?!

No, I am going to stick hard with $5.

Andrew: He is so hard to negotiate with.

Baxter: So hard. Andrew: And he is so cool.

Baxter: So cool. Quistian: I'm going to say it.

What if we all just live in the same place?

Come on! We talk about it all the time, but we never do it.

Throw it over here.

Baxter: I know, but you won't commit to it.

Quistian: Because I don't need to commit to it.

I need to grab this property for me.

We can share. Baxter: This is for you?

Quistian: For me and for my client.

Just hand it to my hand, and it will be easy to grab.

Baxter: This is for you? And you want us to live there?

Quistian: You can pay rent.

Andrew: I actually don't hate this idea.

Quistian: What's your dream house? Everybody gets a room.

Fill it up with whatever you want. What do you want?

Andrew: Uh, candy. Quistian: Okay, weird. You?

Baxter: Highlightsmagazines. Quistian: Highlightsmagazines.

You want to fill one room up with Highlightsmagazines.

Andrew: What would you fill in your room?

Quistian: You're going to think it's stupid.

Andrew: Give me a chance, man.

Quistian: I want it to be a place to remember my dad.

Andrew: That is stupid.

My dad's gone. You don't see me making a big deal about it.

Quistian: Is your dad dead?

Andrew: No, he's not dead. He's just -- We can't find him.

Quistian: How long have you not been able to find him?

Andrew: He disappeared to Asia about less than a decade ago.

Last year. Quistian: So, one year ago?

Andrew: He went to a travel agent.

Baxter: He said, "Don't follow me."

Andrew: Yeah, "don't me."

Baxter: "I'm going to Asia." Andrew: "I'm going to Asia."

Quistian: He wanted to leave to go to Asia.

Andrew: Yeah, but he said, "I'm never coming back."

Quistian: What's your dad's name?

Andrew: Darryl. Quistian: Last name?

Andrew: Wright.

Quistian: Darryl, it's Quistian. Yeah, Quistian Gayle.

Andrew: You have my dad?

Quistian: Your son is here. Do you want to talk to him?

Uh, he looks like a shittier version of Clark Kent.

Andrew: I'll take it.

Quistian: I guess he never could turn into Superman.

Is he wearing his negotiation spectacles?

Oh, I got to take this. This is my sister.

Does it matter? Andrew: No, no, no, no!

Quistian: Okay, okay. Yeah, sorry?

All right.

Andrew: Hey, Dad.

He hung up.

Quistian: Oh, I never called your dad.

So, what do we think, huh?

Maybe we can come in at a cool $5,

and we figure it out from there?

Baxter: He was fucking with you the whole time.

Andrew: I know, but what if he wasn't?

Andrew: $11 million. Quistian: Okay.

Andrew: We're not going any lower.

Quistian: What about $5?

Andrew: No. No. Quistian: Put your hand out.

Andrew: No. I'll put it out, but I'm not --

Quistian: Fine, $11 million.

Andrew: Okay. Quistian: Five.

Baxter: No. No, that's doesn't count.

Quistian: What do you mean it doesn't count?!

Baxter: We have to sign this.

Quistian: I'm sorry. Oh, this is your dad. Hello?

Baxter: Oh. He's messing with you.

Andrew: No, he's not.

Quistian: Yeah, this is Quistian.

Andrew: Can I talk to him for real this time?

Quistian: This is insane, because I just did

a little funny bit pretending that you called.

This is you for real now?

Okay, tell me something that you would only know

about your son that I know it's you.

Andrew: Yeah, I don't --

Quistian: He is white, yeah.

Baxter: Everyone would know that.

Andrew: That's my dad. He knew I was white.

Quistian: What's his favorite word?

Andrew: Spaghetti.

Quistian: Is it spaghetti?

Andrew: Baxter: Stop it.

Quistian: Um, buddy...your dad wants to talk to you.

Andrew: Dad, I've missed you --

Quistian: It's not really your dad. So, I'm going to head out.

Let's say five dollars, and let's figure it out from there.

Andrew: No. That's it. We've had enough.

Baxter: Yeah, let's give Quistian a piece of our minds.

Quistian: Do you have any idea who the fuck I am?

Do you have any idea who the fuck I am?

Honestly? Huh? Either one of you guys?

Andrew: Quistian. Quistian: Quistian.

Andrew: Question.

Quistian: Can I ask you a question?

Baxter: Yes, Quistian.

Quistian: Do you think you can take me?

Andrew: Do you think you can take him?

Baxter: Yes. Quistian: Do it right now. Go.

Quistian: $4. $4.

Baxter: $9 million.

Quistian: $4. Baxter: $9 million.

Quistian: $4. Baxter: $9 million.

Quistian: $4. Baxter: $8 million.

Quistian: $4. Baxter: $7.5 million.

Quistian: $4. Baxter: $6 million. $6 million.

Quistian: $4. Baxter: $5 million.

Quistian: $5 million sounds good.

Let's do it. Let's close it up.

Andrew: No, no, no, no.

Quistian: I'm going to head out.

Thank you guys so much for the deal.

It's deal like this that make everything worth living.

All right, can you grab my bag for me real quick?

Andrew: Yeah. Quistian: Guys, thank you.

I'll see you soon. Hey, and are you coming to Mexico or no?

Baxter: Yeah, are you going to be there?

Quistian: Yeah.

Baxter: I'll meet you at the airport?

Quistian: Yeah, cool. All right, bye, guys.

Just throw it to me. Stop being an asshole.

Bye, buddy. Andrew: Okay. See you later.

Quistian: Little help!

Andrew: I'll be back in a second.

I'll get it!

Baxter: He's going to keep throwing it back at you.

Quistian: No, I'm out of here! Take care, guys!

Good to see you!

Andrew: Well, we sold it.

Is that the bag?

Victoria: I've been calling Craigory and Georch

to see how the window- replacement job is going,

but they're not returning my calls

so I'm heading to Brentwood for a surprise inspection.

Craigory: What are you doing?

Georch: I'm organizing my chapters.

Georch: This is our workspace.

Georch: I have to give chapters one,

two, and three to mom tonight

because she said she was going to proofread it.

Craigory: She is not a good proofreader.

I'm just going to move this right there.

Georch: No, no, no, don't touch that!

Craigory: I can't work with this!

Where is the screwdriver?!

Georch: Okay, I'm out.

Victoria: Hey! Hey! What's going on here?

Georch: Fuck you!

Victoria: You guys should have been done with this already!

Craigory: I agree! We should have been!

Georch: So do I, but I can't do it!

Craigory: Exactly. If this is how it's going to be,

then I'm not going to work with him.

Georch: I can't do it. Victoria: No, you're both fired!

Craigory: Wait, no, no, no, no, no.

Victoria: Yes! Georch: Go saw that thing.

Georch: I don't know what that thing is.

Craigory: Excuse me. Listen.

You can not fire us, okay?

This is a huge Proper-tunity for all of us, okay?

There's the prop-ensity for --

Victory: No. I don't understand what you're saying.

Craigory: It's gonna be huge. All we need our these,

and we will finish your job in a week.

Georch: Oh, my God!!

Craigory: Oh my God!

Georch: Put it on ice! Put it on ice!

Craigory: It's too late now. Wait. Wait. This is the idea.

This is the Proper-tunity. Two brothers, three hands.

A fix-it show. We call it "All Hands on Deck."

No, that's not a good idea.

Dean: ♪ And John Barleycorn lost his leg, but he never did cry ♪

Chelsea: Dean has transformed into the office chore monkey.

I can't believe we were ever scared of him!

Glenn: He has a lovely singing voice.

Serge and Gio were gushing about it over our mani-pedis

after they decided to spare my life.

Dean: Washing dishes just like regular people do.

Chelsea: Oh, hey, Dean? Dean: Hmm?

Chelsea: You're doing a really great job with those dishes.

I'm just a little worried about all the water you're using.

Dean: All right, well, I'm almost done, so...

Chelsea: Cool.

Glenn: Oh, Dean. I noticed that you stacked

the bowls on the left side,

but they actually go close to the right side.

Dean: So, a meaningless difference that I must address.

Chelsea: Yeah, it's no big deal.

Oh, that is my green tea there though. It's really delicate.

Dean: This box of tea is delicate.

Chelsea: Yeah, they're wrapped.

Dean: Back to the old dishes.

Glenn: Oh, Dean, by the way.

There was a homeless man in the atrium

so when you have chance,

if you could just, kind of, remove him.

Dean: Off to do that. You know, it's funny.

I'm, uh, building a resentment towards

all of you that I imagine

is a part of your normal workday experience, is it not?

Chelsea: Sort of, yeah. Dean: All right.

Off to do yet another task.

Chelsea: Yeah. Oh, but actually, if you could take out the trash

before you go -- Dean: This trash right here?!

Chelsea: Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just getting really full.

Dean: You want me to take the trash out?! All right!

Glenn: Actually, Dean, before that --

Dean: What's that?! Was there another thing?!

Glenn: No, it's just the snacks here aren't right.

We always need to have one vegetable and one --

Dean: Deal with the snacks. So, we need a vegetable.

I'll tend to the vegetables and the trash.

Homeless man in the -- Amir: Hey, Dean, do you think --

Dean: Amir! Silence!

Chelsea: Uh-oh.

Dean: How dare you?! How dare all of you?!

Making me do things!

You're the worst one!

You will not order me around like a common serf!

Glenn: We're sorry. Dean: Chelsea, slap Glenn.

Chelsea: What? Dean: Slap him now!

Chelsea: I'm sorry. Glenn: Aah!

Chelsea: I didn't want to hit him.

Glenn:

Just don't hurt my beautiful hands!

Dean: Don't you cry, Amir.

I don't want to see a single

drop of moisture come out of you.

Are you crying? Amir: No.

Dean: Are you crying?

Amir:

Dean: Slap him again. Chelsea: Aah!

Glenn: Aah! That was my neck!

Chelsea:

Dean: Pick yourself up.