Original subtitles

Narrator: Previously, on "Bajillion Dollar Properties"...

Victoria: Hey, I'm sure DJ is just about to tell us

that Dean is okay.

DJ: He is in a coma. -Chelsea: What?!

DJ: You're just gonna sign over your company to me.

Now Platinum is mine.

Glenn: Look at me. Look at my life.

No one wants this.

There has to be a woman out there for me.

Todd: Your soulmate. She's waitin' for you.

DJ: This is not Dean's book release party.

Victoria: What?! -Baxter: What?!

DJ: It's mine!

Andrew: No-o!

-Woman: Oh!

Victoria: It's been six months since that nightmare of a party.

Dean: I will render you to dust and mourn you forever.

Amir: Dean hasn't been seen since.

Baxter: Things just aren't the same around here without Dean.

Dean: Well.

Hello.

What do you see before you?

Get out, get out, and sell properties!

Everyone in this room, raise your hand

if you killed a Predator.

Chelsea: "Right of first refusal

on any natural-born children..."

I'm filling the void that Dean left with Wizdo Metrics,

a personal and professional development organization.

"Contract can be terminated at any time

deemed only by a list of metrics..." Okay.

What's more stable than a billion-year contract?

Victoria: I'm devastated about Dean,

but I find the best way to get over a man

is under another.

Oh, don't you judge me.

Glenn: I'm not moving on principle.

I'm gonna finish my work here.

Glenn: It's so fucking gross.

Victoria: If you two wanna to sit next to each other,

but stop talking over me.

Amir: DJ called a meeting in the conference room.

Glenn: I've never worn the watch.

Andrew: DJ doesn't run morning meetings like his father.

Baxter: Yeah, you just never know what you're gonna get, but --

DJ: Level up.

Man: Whoa. Whoa!

DJ: Let's start this meeting!

Glenn: All right.

DJ: Guys! We're doin' a new style of Platinum now,

and we're gonna have a little bit more --

Air in it?

A little bit more leveling up.

Victoria: Leveling up?

What is he saying?!

I hate when he uses his mouth for talking.

DJ, this is a lot of fun, but I have

an open house to get to. -DJ: It is a lot of fun.

Guys, now's not the time to sell.

Hello!

No selling today.

Chelsea: Who were you talking to?

DJ: I'm talking to the level, and I'm telling it to move up!

Chelsea: So, what are the actions

that we need to do to level up?

DJ: What is a level? -Amir: Like a -- a --

DJ: Am I level right now? -Chelsea: Sure, you're level.

DJ: Am I level now? -Andrew: No.

Chelsea: Yes. You're level. -DJ: Yes, I'm level?

Glenn: Yes. -DJ: Okay, ready?

Chelsea: What is that? What is that?

What did you do? -DJ: We went up.

Chelsea: Ugh! I don't like it. -DJ: Glenn, where are you?

Glenn: I'm right here, right now, but I want to --

I want to get higher. -DJ: But where you goin'?

Glenn: I wanna go up. -DJ: Get higher with your voice.

Glenn: I wanna go higher.

DJ: Higher, higher, higher.

Glenn: I want to level

u-u-u-p! -DJ: Higher than that. You're

still hittin' the same note.

Glenn: I wanna-na-na-na!

DJ: Ahh-ahh!

Amir: That's what you were looking for?

DJ: For him. -Victoria: Ugh!

Mind-blowing sex aside, DJ is the worst.

DJ: I have one more surprise for all the brokers.

And then all of the hallways are gonna just be beaches.

So you're gonna be walking through the beach

every hallway that you walk through.

Everybody got it?

Everybody's leveled up? Everybody feeling it?

Andrew: No, no, I'm not clear. -Victoria: I don't

understand it at all. -DJ: Awesome!

Let's do this! -Andrew: Two different --

Jesus Christ.

Chelsea: He fucking sucks.

Baxter: He was so cool. What happened?

Amir: He was never cool.

I never liked DJ, and I called it from the beginning.

Glenn: Guys,

I just really miss Dean right now.

Victoria: No, Imiss Dean.

Andrew: No, Imiss Dean.

Baxter: We can -- we can all miss Dean.

Chelsea: We can all miss Dean.

Amir: We all fucking miss Dean.

Glenn: Can't do that. -Victoria: That's it! No!

Guys, we can't live like this, okay?

This office is gonna downhill.

We have to find Dean.

Obviously, I will go do it,

since I know him the most intimately.

Talking about sex. -Chelsea: What?

Victoria: I know Dean. -Amir: You never had sex

with Dean. Maybe in your fucking dreams.

Victoria: Yeah. Many, many times.

What's the problem? -Glenn: Wait a minute.

You can fuck in dreams?

Amir: Guess what, bitches?

I made Amir great again.

Mega!

You're gonna love it here.

It's got everything you've been lookin' for.

It's exactly the sanctuary that you wa--

Ehh.

What's my secret?

Here's a hint.

I smuggle rare birds into the country,

using a custom-made suit.

Everything has been done to the nines

like exactly to your --

Come on.

Today I'm meeting my client Mandine Chinton,

who runs a multimillion- dollar company

that makes leggings for men.

Mandine: Oh, my God!

Oh! Amir: Welcome to your new home.

Mandine: Look at this! -Amir: It's amazing, isn't it?

Mandine: Oh, my God, come here, come here,

come here, come here, come here!

Amir: Ohhh! Yeah! -Mandine: Oh, my goodness!

Oh, it's so good to see you!

Amir: It's great to see you, too.

Mandine is a toucher and a hugger,

and I fucking hate it.

The last time I showed her a house,

she almost cracked my rib.

Mandine: This is beautiful! -Amir: Yeah.

Mandine: I can start every day

by walking to the balcony and saying

♪ This is my house ♪

Oh, my God! This coffee table!

Does it come furnished? -Amir: Well, we can furnish it

Mandine: Oh, my God. -Amir: as much or as little

as you want. Beautiful. -Mandine: Ah!

This house -Amir: Oh!

Mandine: is beautiful! -Amir: That was a good one.

I've got two goals.

One, sell Mandine this house;

and two, avoid injury.

Check these chaises out.

Mandine: Oh, this is very nice!

Amir: Polar bear. -Mandine: Polar bear?

Amir: Yeah, that's the hot new thing.

Total polar bear.

Amir: I can be very elusive.

I've got the body of a Ukranian teen gymnast.

Like nothing you've ever seen, huh?

Mandine: Oh, my God, no. This is beautiful.

Amir: Hold onto that. -Mandine: Oh, my goodness!

Amir: Get a real feel for it. -Mandine: Yes!

Amir: Yeah, flowers.

Try that one. -Mandine: Oh, this is great.

This is a great pillow. -Amir: Isn't that a great pillow?

If I can keep avoiding her grasp, I'm home free.

Mandine: What else is in this house?

Amir: Well, we've got 25-foot windows over here.

Mandine: Uh-huh. Ooh, what about over here?

Amir: Those are also 25-foot windows.

Mandine: Oh, I love symmetry.

Amir: Oh. And the hardwood floors.

Mandine: Oh, my goodness.

Oooh! -Amir: Ohhh, ow!

Mandine: Oh! -Amir: Ow!

Mandine: Oh! -Amir: Enough!

Mandine: Oh! -Amir: I got into a fight

with like ten guys, -Mandine: Ten?

Amir: and I beat them up, but they got my spine.

Mandine: I hate when that happens.

Amir: Can we just lay off on the hugging?

Mandine: Yes. I'm -- I'm so sorry.

Show me the rest of the house.

I'm really sorry. -Amir: Oh, there is

an infinity pool in it. -Mandine: Ah!

Mnh!

That's good.

Amir: And, oh, there's wraparound views,

360 wraparound views here.

Mandine: Oh!

I --

Oh, my goodness. -Amir: If you want,

we can go to the -Mandine: Oh, perfect.

Amir: steam room and sauna.

Mandine: That is nice.

Amir: Yeah, and it's all -Mandine: Oh, my goodness.

Amir: made out of eucalyptus wood. Oh, my God.

I thought my quick thinking put me in the clear,

but Mandine fired me.

I need a hug.

Victoria: My mission is to find Dean,

and my first stop is his house.

Front doors are for chumps.

Ooh!

Uah!

Ohhh! Oh, my God!

Agneta: Get off my balcony, you dirty,

Victoria: Calm down. -Agneta: designer pigeon!

Victoria: Listen, I work with Dean, all right?

Agneta: You nasty piece of flying parasite.

Victoria: Enough with the names!

I work with Dean, okay?

I'm looking for him. We're worried!

We suspect foul play.

Agneta: Okay, I did not know.

Victoria: Who does this knife-wielding,

bloody-aproned woman think she is?

Agneta: I'm his housekeeper and occasional snuggle buddy

and his lover, and that is it, and on and off,

and sometimes I'm his confidante.

Sometimes I am the person he turns to

if he needs a warm bath. -Victoria: Okay, I don't think

you're -- I don't think you're his lover.

Agneta: No, I'm his on-and-off-again lover.

Victoria: You're using the word a little loosely, "lover."

Agneta: No, it's when you have hot, rawboning sex, no?

Victoria: Okay, you know what? Is Dean here?!

Are you keeping him hostage?

You tell me if you're keeping him hostage.

Agneta: No! -Victoria: I swear to God,

if you're Richard Simmons-ing him,

I will -- I will --

Agneta: Dean is on a cruise. -Victoria: A cruise?

Agneta: He went on the David Copperfield cruise.

Victoria: He doesn't like David Copperfield.

Agneta: You don't think Dean likes magic?

Victoria: How long is he gonna be on this cruise for?!

When is he due back?! -Agneta: I don't know.

This is the thing about David Copperfield cruises.

You never know when they're going to appear or disappear.

Victoria: I'm sure there's a date when he arrives.

Agneta: All I can say is he's got to come back

because there's a John Mayer cruise

that is coming up in another two weeks.

Victoria: Dean's been sleeping with his housekeeper,

likes magic andJohn Mayer?

If Dean gets back, tell him to call me.

I'll be at the office.

Agneta: Oh, you're going to the office?

Would you do me a favor, please? Thank you!

Victoria: No, I don't want to -- -Agneta: Would you mind

bringing my son his lunch?

Victoria: Your son? Who's your son?!

Agneta: My son is Glenn.

Dean: Glenn is my son.

Victoria: What the fuck?!

Agneta: This is Glenn -Victoria: Oh, my God. Ohh!

Agneta: and he's thinking something very important.

Can you see the resemblance?

A lot of people say he's my doppelganger.

Victoria: It's uncanny. Those piercing,

creepy, blue eyes.

Baxter: DJ is not a good boss, but Baxter and Andrew

are gonna do what Baxter and Andrew do.

Andrew: Uh-huh, bein' the best at bein' best friends

and bein' okay at selling houses

Baxter: Yeah. -Andrew: and havin' fun, baby!

Baxter: Ow!

Baxter: ♪ This. is fun ♪♪

Andrew: We're meeting a former child star,

Braden Bryce Howard, to show him a house in Hollywood.

Baxter: Braden has always lived with his mom/manager,

but now he's finally ready to step out on his own.

Braden: Yeah, what's up, followers? Right now,

I'm lookin' at my first house

without my momager.

'Cause we divorced.

This is where the cold food sleeps.

Baxter: Yeah, this is a built-in sub-zero fridge.

Braden: I like that.

Baxter: That is the owner's food.

Andrew: Oop, dropped one.

Braden: My mom used to tell me,

"You don't need to swallow your food to eat it.

You just gotta get the taste."

Oh, snap!

Check this out.

This is where the hot food lives.

Andrew: Yeah.

Braden: I like this.

Something separating me from the food.

Baxter: Oh, you need me to open it?

Sure. -Andrew: I gotta tell you,

we're both huge fans of yours. -Braden: Ah-ha.

Baxter: Yeah, "Hang Ten Squad" was our whole childhood.

Braden: Fan love. -Andrew: Yeah. What's up?

Fan love. -Braden: What's up, man?

Baxter: Here you go. -Braden: Yeah.

Aw, thanks, white man. -Baxter: Yeah.

Braden: I like this. -Baxter: Good, good. Yeah.

Andrew: Good stuff. Good stuff. -Braden: I like this.

Andrew: Hey, you got any, uh --

you got any new movies or anything in the works

Baxter: Yeah, what's gonna on? -Andrew: you can give us a --

a little taste of? -Braden: Yo, spoiler alert.

Andrew: Yeah. -Braden: Nothing at the moment.

Andrew: Oh. -Braden: And what's this pit?

Andrew: Uh, this is a sink.

Braden: Oh! Snap. I'm sorry.

Baxter: It's not --

this isn't one -- that's automatic.

Andrew: Did you not know that water was gonna come out?

Braden: No, I knew the water was gonna come out,

I just didn't -- I wasn't ready.

Baxter: This is stainless. -Braden: I gotta turn that thing

every time? -Baxter: Yes.

Well, you can get an automatic one, if you wanted.

Braden: I mean, how you even turn it off, you know,

you gotta like...? -Baxter: No, no.

No.

No. We want to -- You -- No. You take it --

Braden: This sink is whack! -Baxter: No, don't do that.

Try this. -Braden: That sink is broke.

It's fucked, man! -Baxter: Hold on. Hold on.

Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

No. -Andrew: That's not --

Braden: Man, this sink is leakin', man!

Baxter: Wow! Braden's mom must've done everythingfor him.

Braden: How close to the kitchen is the room

where I make number two?

Andrew: The bathroom?

Normally I wouldn't clarify it,

but what -- what are you thinkin' number two means?

Baxter: Do you have to go to the bathroom?

Braden: What do I think a number two means?

Andrew: Yeah. -Braden: Drop a urine.

Baxter: So Braden set out

all the plates on the kitchen island.

Andrew: And then he ran off.

Braden, are you going to the bathroom?

Braden: Yeah.

Baxter: He's taking a shit; he's taking a shit.

Don't shit there. -Braden: What?

Baxter: Don't -- you're shitting -- don't shit there.

Don't shit -- -Braden: Oh! Too late.

Baxter: Shit. -Braden: Sorry, man.

Andrew: What number is that?

Braden: I just took a number four.

That's a number two and one together.

Baxter: Sometimes this job feels like someone's taking

a number four on your face.

Braden: Oh, snap!

I didn't realize this is where we came from.

Baxter: What the fuck?

Andrew: Will you clean up the, uh --

clean up the poop? -Baxter: Me?

Andrew: Clean up the poop.

Baxter: No, I cleaned up the pee

when he peed downstairs.

You clean this up.

Andrew: You can't compare

a pee cleanup to a poop cleanup.

Baxter: There was blood in the pee.

Andrew: I'll clean it up.

Glenn: Agneta -- I mean, my mommy -- is still pretty upset

about running into Victoria this morning.

She's been calling me nonstop all day.

Mom, Mom, that's not what I said. Mom.

Mom, that's not what I said.

Oh, darn. Hold on.

You have to listen to me, okay?

I can't -- Ugh. Okay.

Text me --

Hi.

All my focus right now

is going towards finding love,

but I've hit a snag because my Feeler profile

is not getting anyhits.

My ideal Friday evening: me, my couch,

my harmonica,

and a bottle of milk.

Mondays, right?

Are you still there, Mom?

I -- ooh. Ooh. Oh!

Aah! I'm such a klutz, no one will ever date me.

So I'm getting advice from the best matchmakers around,

Ronna and Bev.

Ronna: Hello! Wow. -Bev: Are you Glenn?

Glenn: Yeah, I'm Glenn Bouchard. -Ronna: Ronna Glickman.

Bev: Beverly Ginsberg. -Ronna: Such a pleasure.

Bev: On the phone, you sounded Asian.

Glenn: Thank you.

Ronna: How are you, dear?

Glenn: I'm doing very well.

I'm so excited.

You come so highly recommended.

Ronna: We connect people to other people.

Bev: Connectors. -Ronna: What we like to say is,

if there's match to be made, we make it.

Bev: Hello! -Ronna: In any event --

Bev: Hello! Hello! -Ronna: Glenn,

tell us a little bit about yourself.

Bev: You're looking for a woman. -Glenn: Great. Yeah.

Bev: You're paying for today? -Glenn: Yeah, sure.

Bev: We'll have one of each of the appetizers.

We'll have the pork a la Dijonnaise,

Glenn: Well -- -Bev: "pat" de la fruit da mer.

What is that? Can we get that with no prawns,

snow peas, scallops, mushrooms, or linguine?

Waitress: So you just want a bowl of sauce?

Bev: Yep, and we'll have six of each of the desserts.

Glenn: That's too many desserts.

Ronna: What are your proclivities in the boudoir?

Bev: Yeah, fetishes, things that you really like.

Glenn: Okay. -Ronna: Are you gonna, you know,

run in a panic in the other direction

if a finger ends up somewhere?

Bev: Do you want your prostate tickled or smacked?

Ronna: If you could compare yourself to an animal

or a celebrity in the bedroom, who would that be?

Bev: For instance, I'm a Michelle Pfeiffer

on the outside,

and Mike Tyson on the inside.

I'll bite your balls right off.

Glenn: Wow.

I'd say on the outside, I'm a koala bear, and

on the inside,

I'm -- -Ronna: A toad?

Glenn: I'd say Greg Louganis. -Ronna: Oh.

Glenn: But heterosexual.

Ronna: Huh. -Bev: Hmm.

Isn't it great they fixed AIDS?

Ronna: I have to be honest. I think you're a pretty nice guy.

Glenn: I just want to say, if I'm being completely honest,

I really want to have children.

That has to be on the table. -Ronna: Okay.

Glenn: And I also have a condition

called intermittent blood.

That means that sometimes my blood is very thin,

and sometimes it's chunky.

Ronna: So, on some days, you're a hemophiliac,

and other days, you have Jell-O for blood?

I'm confused.

Glenn: Yeah, the viscosity of my blood

just kinda changes depending on atmospheric pressure,

how much water I'm drinking,

how much starch I have in my diet.

Ronna: Honestly, Beverly? No, I'm infuriated right now.

Bev: Me too. -Ronna: 'Cause here's

what I don't do: I don't waste my time.

My time is important to me, Glenn.

You know what, Beverly?

You deal with this 'cause this gentleman

has wasted my time. You understand?

We have girls positive for all of the shtetl diseases, okay?

Tay-Sachs, Creutzfeldter's.

You name it. -Bev: Cystic fibrosis.

Ronna: And what we can't do is

add into the mix some guy who,

one day, his blood's made of lemonade, and the next day,

it's made of mud. Do you understand?

Glenn: Yeah, I'm -- -Ronna: Who's dying

to procreate. Who's trying to pass on

that gene to other people. -Glenn: No, I --

Ronna: Do we look like hucksters to you?

Glenn: I'm not trying -- -Bev: You've really upset her,

and I'll tell you why:

She doesn't want to be responsible

for some girl that we set you up with who kills you

because her sexual aggression is so loud and proud,

she spins around on your dick, and then suddenly,

you're a dead man; she's a murderer.

You want us to make murderers out of women?

Shame on you. -Glenn: No, that wasn't why I --

Bev: Brethany, we'll take it to go!

Glenn: Hey, I'm -- no, please.

I-I'm good person.

Jesus!

Victoria: Ugh!

I've been driving around in a haze

ever since I left Dean's house.

Luckily, I got a call from a buyer

who kicked Amir to the curb.

Now, Mandine, I know Amir

already showed you this house, but, I think

it's worth reconsidering because the seller

just dropped it a million dollars.

Victoria: I know. -Mandine: A million dollars?!

Oh, my God! -Victoria: Okay. What are you...?

Mandine: Oh. I'm just giving you a hug.

Victoria: Right. We don't really know each other,

so, it's kind of -- -Mandine: Oh, well, I'm just a,

you know, a touchy-feely person. I really love hugs.

Victoria: I really love distance.

Mandine: Oh, okay, well.

My philosophy is what are we, if not children

just wanting an embrace?

Victoria: What did you just say?

Mandine: I mean, my philosophy is just what are we,

if not children wanting an embrace?

Victoria: That's the most beautiful thing

I've ever heard.

It's the me of words.

What are we if not... wanting an embrace?

A child inside? -Mandine: Yeah, we're all just

children inside. -Victoria: Oh, God.

Mandine: Here, give me a hug.

Victoria: Stay away, Mommy!

You abandon me for my whole life,

and now you want to hug me?!

Wait, what? What did I just say?

Mandine: I'm gonna sign this document, uh-huh,

it's a contract.

You get your commission.

Victoria: Feed me, Mommy.

Feed baby Victoria from your commission teats.

Mandine: Ohh. You're such a good girl.

Amir: This is the living room,

like no living room -Mandine: You're such

a good girl. -Amir: you've ever seen, Paul.

Victoria: Too late, Amir. -Amir: What do you mean?

Victoria: She's buying the house.

Mandine: I signed the papers. -Amir: What are you

talking about? -Victoria: Hey! Get back!

Mandine: Hey, back.

Amir: Is this 'cause of the touch thing?

You can touch me. You can touch all of me.

Victoria: You don't like her touching!

Mandine: It's fine.

Victoria and I are having a verygood time together.

I like her very much.

In fact, I want you to sell my house.

6 bedrooms, 8 bathrooms, 2 extra ones.

-Mandine: And a pool

that I put in myself.

Victoria: I'm gonna sell her house!

Amir: No, I can sell your house! I will --

Victoria: Getting too close!

Mandine: Victoria, no. Back.

Amir: I will get you top dollar.

You can touch me. You can touch it all.

Victoria: Get away!

Amir: All right, okay, fine. You wanna play this game?

Mandine: Yes, please get out of my house.

Amir: Paul, come on.

Victoria: I don't like you, either, Paul.

Mandine: You're a very good girl.

Victoria: I'm so excited.

It's my favorite kind of win:

one where Amir loses!

Chelsea: Okay, why is DJ calling the second

emergency meeting of the day?

DJ: All rise. Just kidding.

Hi! -Amir: What am I doing?

DJ: What are you doing? -Amir: You tell me, boss.

DJ: Squats? -Amir: Level up.

DJ: Oh. -Amir: I'm onboard.

Level up, baby. -DJ: Oh, no, we're not

doing that anymore. No more leveling up.

Amir: Why do I even try?!

DJ: Now it's all about stretching it out,

and that means all the way from our calves

to our hammies, to our quads,

to our hip flexors,

right here to our diaphragm, our lats.

Guys, what can we do today to loosen our lats,

other than this? -Chelsea: No.

DJ: We need to fly on those lats.

That's what we should do.

But not anymore, because so that's old now.

Amir: So, stretch it out is done?

DJ: Stretch it out is over. -Chelsea: You just created it.

DJ: No, no, no, no, it's not stretching,

because what time of the day is it again?

It's almost dusk, right?

So, yeah, let's switch it.

Let's do dusk, dusk, goose.

Baxter: We don't understand any of these rules you're making up.

Chelsea: Yeah. -Baxter: Dean would come in

and would say, "Hey, if we don't sell this amount of money

by the end of the week, -DJ: No. Guys.

Baxter: you're all fired." -DJ: That's the way that we're

running this company. -Baxter: He's been taking

the elevator up. -Shaunia: This is enough!

DJ, I am sick of your inane chatter!

Dean: That's right,

it's me,

Dean Rosedragon.

Andrew: Aaaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaah-aah-aah-aah- aah-aah-aah!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Dean: Good?

Andrew: Yeah.

DJ: Papa has returned!

Wait, no.

Papa has revealed!

Dean: That's right, my legitimate son,

I've been here the whole time,

listening to all of you

and listening to your schemes.

Guess what?

I'm going to take control

of this company once again

and do it the old-fashioned way.

I intend to become a broker here at Platinum.

Chelsea: Wait, you were Shaunia the whole time?

Dean: Yes, obviously.

Chelsea: Hey, Shaunia, do you have another pen?

Shaunia: I think so.

This is for writing

on temporary whiteboards.

Chelsea: Just a regular.

Shaunia: Here you go.

Chelsea: Like, the whole, whole time?

Dean: Yes, for the better part of a year,

I have been masquerading as this person

so I could infiltrate Platinum,

unseen, unheard,

and make my plans to become a broker

and seize power from within.

Amir: Shaunia helped talk me through the death

of my grandmother. -Chelsea: Ugh.

I told my parents about her.

This is the girl I fell in love with.

This is the girl

we all fell in love with! -Baxter: We all fell in love

with her. -Chelsea: You were our friend!

Dean: Can we move past the idea

that I impersonated this person,

befriended you all for the better part of a year,

and get to what's really important?

I'm going to be a broker here at Platinum.

Glenn: Hold on a second. Amir --

Amir's taking something out -- Andrew: Amir. Hey. Jesus.

Baxter: Amir. Amir. -Andrew: This is not okay.

This is not okay. -Glenn: Amir, stop.

Chelsea: Shaunia. -Baxter: What?!

Chelsea: Were you and Roberto

both Shaunia this whole time?

Dean: Amir just put that mask

on that gentleman.

I have been Shaunia this whole time.

Chelsea: Shaunia! Shaunia! -Dean: No, no.

Chelsea: Why didn't you return my calls?

We were supposed to go to -- -Amir: What the fuck?!

Dean: Their stupidity is taking all the fun

out of my triumphant reveal.

DJ: Papá? Well done.

Dean: Son, I will destroy you.

And so I say, let's begin

the Battle of the Rosedragons.

DJ: Father versus son,

in the classic rise to power

over a company.

Dean: The ancient story, writ anew.

DJ: Let's writ it once again!

Dean: Once more

DJ: No, I'm gonna end it! -Dean: unto the breach!

DJ: I'm gonna end it!

Dean: I will end it! -DJ: You will not --

Dean: I will yell! -DJ: What? What?!

Dean: You will hear me -DJ: Watch yourself!

Dean: end it with a yell!

DJ: Oh, well, then,

I guess I'm go-- -Dean: Hear me now!

DJ: I guess I'm gonna win! -Dean: I will win.

DJ: Then, we'll see who!

Will be in charge. -Dean: It will be

♪ me-e-e-e-e! ♪

DJ: Of Platinum. -Dean: Me.