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Victoria: It's finally here --
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00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:28,460
the 88th Greater Los Angeles
Real Estate Awards.
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00:00:28,462 --> 00:00:30,129
The Diamond Dealmakers.
[ Chuckles ]
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00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,663
I'm up for five trophies,
5
00:00:31,665 --> 00:00:35,267
but the only one I really care
about is Best Broker.
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00:00:35,269 --> 00:00:37,736
Amir: You're gonna love
my Best Supporting Broker speech
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00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,671
and what else I have planned.
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00:00:39,673 --> 00:00:41,573
Baxter: So, we are up for
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00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:43,375
Best Visual Effects
at an Open House
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00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,477
and also Brokers' Choice Award.
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00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,179
Andrew: We are going
to win both awards,
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00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:49,314
and we have a big dance
number in the show.
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00:00:49,316 --> 00:00:52,084
Baxter: Baxter and Andrew going
to the next level, baby.
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00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:54,053
Andrew: What's up?!
15
00:00:54,055 --> 00:00:55,621
Baxter: Everybody!
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00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:57,689
Chelsea: The Academy has
nominated me for Best Writing
17
00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,258
in an Adapted Listing
Description.
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00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,093
And the universe
has nominated me
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00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:03,228
for Baddest Bitch at the Party.
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00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:05,330
Glenn: I guess I didn't impress
the Academy Voting Committee
21
00:01:05,332 --> 00:01:07,533
because, according
to various Reddit threads,
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00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:09,334
I'm not going to win
Most Improved.
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00:01:09,336 --> 00:01:11,570
Victoria: Dean's been obsessed
with beating Infinity Firm
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00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,639
for the biggest prize --
Best Brokerage.
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00:01:13,641 --> 00:01:15,140
Dean loves the spotlight.
26
00:01:15,142 --> 00:01:16,675
Dean: Enough!
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00:01:16,677 --> 00:01:19,711
??
28
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:37,329
??
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00:01:37,331 --> 00:01:39,631
Baxter: I'm very excited
for the dance I created.
30
00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:41,366
Andrew:
Hey. We created.
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00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:42,801
Baxter:
Though I choreographed it.
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00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:45,137
I sewed the outfits.
I composed the music.
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00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:46,405
I held auditions.
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00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:47,706
I hired the back-up dancers.
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00:01:47,708 --> 00:01:50,476
What exactly did you do?
36
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,311
Andrew:
[ Chuckling ] I don't know.
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00:01:52,313 --> 00:01:53,812
What's with the questions?
38
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:56,115
Glenn: I'm still confused,
but the gist is Chelsea
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00:01:56,117 --> 00:01:58,350
won't date me
as long as I'm partner.
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00:01:58,352 --> 00:01:59,818
Chelsea:
I actually think that your rule
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00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,688
from before was right.
42
00:02:02,690 --> 00:02:04,123
Glenn:
If I smell a little briny,
43
00:02:04,125 --> 00:02:05,724
it's because
I'm in a real pickle.
44
00:02:05,726 --> 00:02:07,759
Dean's like a father to me,
but Amir is my best friend,
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00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,394
and he said I should
choose Chelsea.
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00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,830
It's like open this jar
and let me out!
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00:02:11,832 --> 00:02:15,501
Victoria: Daddy's not exactly...
proud of me.
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00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,836
Well...aren't you...proud of me?
49
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:20,706
Victoria's Dad: Look,
it's how you feel that matters.
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00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:22,508
Are you proud?
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00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,309
Victoria:
But when I win Best Broker,
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00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:27,146
it'll fix everything.
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00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:29,148
Brad, why is there
two olives in here
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00:02:29,150 --> 00:02:30,649
when I specifically
asked for three?
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00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:32,918
Just forget it. Fine.
This is fine. Hey, there!
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00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,386
Eugene: Hey, how you doing?
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00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,188
Victoria: How are you?
Victoria King.
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00:02:36,190 --> 00:02:37,923
Eugene: Hey, how you doing?
I'm Eugene "Rocket" Jackson.
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00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:39,691
Victoria: Yeah, that's right.
Rocket in the house.
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00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:40,893
I know who you are.
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00:02:40,895 --> 00:02:43,395
Let's talk about this award.
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00:02:43,397 --> 00:02:44,630
I'm super excited.
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00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:46,298
-Eugene: Okay.
-Victoria: Are you?
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00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:48,467
Eugene: Yeah!
Yeah, I'm excited --
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00:02:48,469 --> 00:02:50,469
Victoria: To announce
"Victoria King, the winner."
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00:02:50,471 --> 00:02:52,171
Eugene: Oh, that's what
I'm supposed to say?
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00:02:52,173 --> 00:02:53,939
Victoria: Yes, that's what
you're supposed to say.
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00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:56,775
So, how'd you get into
this business, being a broker?
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00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,410
Eugene: Yeah, well,
I was playing football,
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00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,512
and then I had
to retire when I was 24.
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00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:02,314
-Victoria: Right. Ooh.
-Eugene: And I'm 27 now,
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00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:04,483
but the doctor says I have
the mind of a 68 year old.
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00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:05,751
But it's okay, you know?
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00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,286
This is a job that's easy.
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00:03:07,288 --> 00:03:08,587
I ain't gotta do nothing.
-Victoria: Well --
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00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:09,888
Eugene: Walk into a house,
people see me --
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00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,423
It's the easiest job
in the world.
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00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:12,824
Everybody could do this job.
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00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:14,626
Victoria: Oh, everybody can.
That's so easy.
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00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,361
Eugene: What do you do
when you go to work?
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00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:17,963
-Victoria: What do I do?
-Eugene: Yeah.
82
00:03:17,965 --> 00:03:20,199
Sometimes I gotta hit myself,
I'm so bored in my office.
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00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:22,634
I don't do nothing.
I bang my head against the wall.
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00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,469
Victoria: Why would you --
why would you do that?
85
00:03:24,471 --> 00:03:26,271
Why would you --
-Eugene: 'Cause it's boring.
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00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:27,839
Job is stupid!
87
00:03:27,841 --> 00:03:29,608
Victoria: Yeah, I think
you're not appreciating...
88
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:31,777
Eugene: Appreciate?
What do I have to appreciate?
89
00:03:31,779 --> 00:03:33,779
Victoria: ...what's
really exciting about the job.
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00:03:33,781 --> 00:03:35,414
Eugene: Give me something
exciting. I would love to know.
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00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:38,283
Victoria: Well, for instance,
you list a house.
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00:03:38,285 --> 00:03:39,818
You don't know
if it's gonna sell,
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00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,720
and you don't know
what price it's gonna sell for,
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00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,422
and you don't know
who's gonna buy it.
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00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:45,390
Eugene: I once lost an eye.
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00:03:45,392 --> 00:03:46,758
-Victoria: What?
-Eugene: Yeah.
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00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,228
This eye was out,
and they put it back in.
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00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:50,896
Victoria: Is that the real --
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00:03:50,898 --> 00:03:52,731
-Eugene: That's the real one.
-Victoria: Is that a fake eye?
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00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:54,233
Eugene: Yeah, luckily, it stayed
on the strap. That's exciting.
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00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:55,500
Victoria:
Did you pop it back in?
102
00:03:55,502 --> 00:03:56,602
Eugene:
No. No, no, the doctor did.
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00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:57,703
That's what a doctor's for.
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00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:58,904
They also have an exciting job.
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This...is bullshit.
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00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:02,808
[ Laughs ]
Cheers, baby girl.
107
00:04:02,810 --> 00:04:04,710
That dress is nice!
-Victoria: Yeah.
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00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:05,978
Eugene:
How many sequins are on that?
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00:04:05,980 --> 00:04:07,746
Victoria: This guy's an idiot!
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00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,415
Being a broker is the highest
calling one can answer,
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00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,284
[voice breaking]
and I am proud to be one.
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00:04:12,286 --> 00:04:14,686
Andrew: This is what bothers me
about you is that you can --
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00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:17,723
you can come across
as very likable sometimes,
114
00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:19,024
and I know deep down inside,
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00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,659
you just want to
screw everyone over.
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00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:22,728
Baxter: Andrew is wasting time
with Jeannie
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00:04:22,730 --> 00:04:25,397
when he knows we need
to rehearse backstage.
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00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:28,300
That said,
I do have a handsome boy
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00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:29,868
to talk to while I wait.
120
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,270
You like toe play?
121
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:32,638
Madison:
I didn't know that I enjoyed
122
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,406
my feet being played with.
-Baxter: Right.
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00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:35,941
Madison: And then this guy
was going down on my feet...
124
00:04:35,943 --> 00:04:37,376
Baxter: You were both
discovering yourselves?
125
00:04:37,378 --> 00:04:38,877
Madison: ...as I was --
Yeah.
126
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,646
So, he went off on my foot for,
127
00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:41,980
like, a half an hour,
and I went off --
128
00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:43,448
Baxter: On his...
129
00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:44,816
Madison: My foot went off
in his face
130
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,385
[laughing]
for half an hour.
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Baxter: Whoa!
I'm Baxter, by the way.
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00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:49,955
-Madison: Yeah, hi. Madison.
-Baxter: Nice to meet you.
133
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:52,057
Madison: We digress.
Baxter: My toe is hard!
134
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:54,993
Madison: [ Laughs ] Touch�.
135
00:04:54,995 --> 00:04:57,863
Baxter: It usually is. It has
a bone in it. But, like...
136
00:04:57,865 --> 00:05:02,534
I should have said I have
10 little boners for him.
137
00:05:07,473 --> 00:05:08,807
Glenn: I don't think
the other brokers
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00:05:08,809 --> 00:05:10,575
realize everything
that's at stake here.
139
00:05:10,577 --> 00:05:12,577
To Dean, Serge and Gio,
this is more than just a trophy.
140
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:14,713
It's life and death.
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00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,648
-Gio: You're going down.
-Serge: You're going down. -Dean: You're going down.
142
00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,883
Gio: Your whole
company's going down.
143
00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,051
Dean:
Your whole company's going down.
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00:05:19,053 --> 00:05:20,886
And by the terms
of our death pact,
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00:05:20,888 --> 00:05:22,754
you must kill yourselves,
146
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:24,756
I will absorb your power
and properties.
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00:05:24,758 --> 00:05:26,058
Serge: That's fair.
148
00:05:26,060 --> 00:05:27,726
-Gio: We agree to this.
-Serge: We agree.
149
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,494
-Dean: We agree to this?
-Serge: We agree to this.
150
00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,929
-Gio: We agree to this.
-Serge: Yes, we agree to this.
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00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:33,098
[ All chanting "Death pact" ]
152
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:39,738
Serge: I got a guy who can
do something for us to Dean.
153
00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:42,941
You know
what is Lyme disease?
154
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,943
Gio: Is it like, uh, scurvy?
155
00:05:44,945 --> 00:05:46,611
Like you don't have
enough limes,
156
00:05:46,613 --> 00:05:48,046
and your knees go funny?
-Serge: No, no, no, no, no.
157
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:50,615
You get it from a deer tick,
158
00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,718
and I got a guy
who can get a deer tick
159
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:54,653
that definitely has
Lyme disease.
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00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,722
Gio: You got a deer-tick guy?
Serge: [ Clicks tongue ]
161
00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:58,457
-Gio: Accidents happen.
-Serge: Accidents happen.
162
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,359
Gio:
People get bit by deer ticks.
163
00:06:00,361 --> 00:06:02,060
Serge: People get Lyme disease,
and they get super lethargic.
164
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,662
Gio: Like...dead lethargic?
165
00:06:03,664 --> 00:06:05,364
Serge: No, no, no, no.
You live. You're fine.
166
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:06,998
-Gio: You're fine?
-Serge: You're fine.
167
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:09,067
-Gio: Just a little sleepy.
-Serge: So lethargic, though.
168
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:10,969
Gio: You gonna be
a little sleepy, Dean.
169
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:14,005
??
170
00:06:15,942 --> 00:06:18,377
Glenn: I made my decision,
and there's no turning back.
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00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:21,546
Now I just have
to tell Chelsea.
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00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:22,881
Chelsea: Glenn,
you're not gonna believe this.
173
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,549
-Glenn: Hey.
-Chelsea: The bathroom attendant
174
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,052
is my old high-school bully,
Marisa Lopez.
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00:06:27,054 --> 00:06:28,720
-Glenn: Wow.
-Chelsea: Yeah.
176
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,522
I was like, "Sorry about
your life and your haircut."
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00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:33,592
Glenn: [ Chuckles ]
I'm sure it looks, uh, terrible.
178
00:06:33,594 --> 00:06:34,993
She probably looks like a cat.
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00:06:34,995 --> 00:06:37,162
Chelsea: Oh, she does.
She looks like a wet cat.
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00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,030
Glenn: Um, Chelsea,
I'm glad you're here.
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00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:42,768
I-I-I was really thinking about
what you said,
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00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:46,705
and I talked to Dean.
183
00:06:46,707 --> 00:06:49,408
I gave up being partner
so that we can be together.
184
00:06:49,410 --> 00:06:50,876
Chelsea: What?!
185
00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,412
Glenn: I told Dean
I don't want the partnership.
186
00:06:53,414 --> 00:06:55,113
He said I was a common fool,
187
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:56,948
and then he asked me
to retie his tie for him.
188
00:06:56,950 --> 00:06:58,116
I think it's
the right thing to do.
189
00:06:58,118 --> 00:06:59,985
I thought about it
for a while.
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00:06:59,987 --> 00:07:01,987
Chelsea: Glenn, that's not why
I said we shouldn't together.
191
00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:04,423
Why did you do that?
-Glenn: What do you mean?
192
00:07:04,425 --> 00:07:07,726
Chelsea: I...sort of...
started seeing someone.
193
00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:08,927
Glenn: What?!
194
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,529
[ Panting ]
195
00:07:10,531 --> 00:07:13,198
Chelsea: Yeah, I know.
It was fast. I just --
196
00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:14,566
Like, you can't --
197
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:16,134
Glenn: Who are you seeing?
198
00:07:16,136 --> 00:07:18,103
I don't understand.
199
00:07:18,105 --> 00:07:19,938
-Amir: Hi, honey.
-Chelsea: Hi!
200
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:21,473
Glenn: Amir?!
201
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:24,476
Amir: If you don't
take drastic measures
202
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,945
to get Chelsea,
someone else will.
203
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,447
Glenn:
I-I-I couldn't live with that.
204
00:07:28,449 --> 00:07:29,514
I don't want that to happen.
205
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:30,849
Amir: No, you don't.
206
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,150
So, you know
what you have to do.
207
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:36,054
Glenn:
I should give up being partner.
208
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:39,024
Amir: Check and mate.
209
00:07:39,026 --> 00:07:40,826
Hey, Glenn.
210
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:43,161
Honey, can you
get me a drink?
211
00:07:43,163 --> 00:07:44,729
-Chelsea: What?
-Amir: Now.
212
00:07:44,731 --> 00:07:46,531
Chelsea: Hey, you know what?
I had a thought.
213
00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:47,732
I was gonna go get a drink.
214
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:48,800
Would you like one
because I'm kind?
215
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,168
-Amir: Yeah.
-Chelsea: Great.
216
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,870
That's how we do that.
-Amir: That's good.
217
00:07:51,872 --> 00:07:53,772
Chelsea: All right.
Yeah, Amir's kind of a douche.
218
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:55,574
But he has some
hidden layers to him.
219
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:56,908
Plus he's huge on Snapchat,
220
00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:58,710
And I want to merge
our online empires.
221
00:07:58,712 --> 00:08:01,847
Amir: Ohhh...I'm sorry man.
222
00:08:01,849 --> 00:08:03,915
I'm so sorry that it had to
go down this way.
223
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:06,885
Glenn: I don't understand.
I-I gave up partner.
224
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:10,188
Amir: Exactly, Glenn.
225
00:08:10,190 --> 00:08:12,491
You gave up partner.
226
00:08:12,493 --> 00:08:16,127
Glenn: My best friend stole
my girl and ruined my life!
227
00:08:16,129 --> 00:08:17,262
[ Sobbing ] N-N-No!
228
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:20,699
Amir: [ Mocking ] Y-Y-Yeah!
229
00:08:20,701 --> 00:08:24,069
Hey, no hard feelings,
buddy, huh?
230
00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:27,539
No hard feelings except...
231
00:08:27,541 --> 00:08:29,641
for that hard feeling.
232
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:33,178
Glenn: It's not hard, it's soft.
233
00:08:33,180 --> 00:08:35,614
What's in between
your balls and your dick?
234
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,115
It's soft.
235
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:39,017
Amir: It has the potential
to get hard.
236
00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,785
When it gets hard, though,
237
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:43,722
I will be fucking Chelsea
238
00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:47,959
and at the same time,
fucking you
239
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:53,899
because that was
my plan all along.
240
00:08:53,901 --> 00:08:56,034
-Glenn: You set me up.
-Amir: I did.
241
00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,569
Glenn: You set Chelsea up.
242
00:08:57,571 --> 00:08:59,004
Amir: It was nothing personal.
243
00:08:59,006 --> 00:09:01,907
It's real estate.
244
00:09:01,909 --> 00:09:04,209
Glenn: [ Panting ]
You set us up!
245
00:09:04,211 --> 00:09:06,244
Amir: Glenn! Glenn! Glenn!
246
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,179
Glenn: Taste my fist!
247
00:09:12,251 --> 00:09:14,686
Glenn: I hope Amir liked the
taste of my knuckle sandwich!
248
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,555
Glad he didn't
fill up on slap-petizers
249
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,590
and saved room for dess-hurt.
250
00:09:18,592 --> 00:09:20,158
Amir: Geez!
What's this guy's problem?!
251
00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,960
You'd think he'd never
been publicly humiliated
252
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,962
and catastrophically
betrayed before!
253
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,597
Chelsea:
Amir used me to get Glen
254
00:09:25,599 --> 00:09:27,132
to give up the partnership.
255
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:30,702
Not cool! I just sent him a text
that said, "Ya dumped."
256
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,805
??
257
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,874
Baxter: I was finally able
to get Andrew away
258
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:38,009
from the party
and into his dance outfit.
259
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:39,878
Andrew: Yeah, it's gonna be
intense going from winning
260
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,112
the Brokers' Choice Award
261
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,882
to killing it
in our dance number.
262
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,250
Madison:
It is my distinctive honor
263
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:48,153
to be here tonight
to give you the nominees
264
00:09:48,155 --> 00:09:50,221
for the Brokers' Choice Award.
265
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,856
-Baxter: You ready?
-Andrew: Are you ready?
266
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:53,658
Are we ready?
-Baxter: Of course we're ready.
267
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:55,260
-Andrew: Yeah, you're right.
-Baxter: We've been waiting
268
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,062
on this since the first time
we did Oxycontin together, okay?
269
00:09:57,064 --> 00:09:59,764
Andrew: Yeah. Brokers' Choice
is the only award tonight
270
00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:02,200
that's chosen by our peers
and not just a committee.
271
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:03,668
Andrew: Ow.
272
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:06,938
What we gotta do
is go out there...win...
273
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:07,906
Andrew: ...Win the award...
Baxter: ...together.
274
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:09,040
Andrew: Check.
275
00:10:09,042 --> 00:10:11,810
Both: Dance together. Check.
276
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:14,746
Baxter: Then everything
we want will be ours.
277
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:16,781
Andrew: And then we'll go home,
and we'll be bros forever!
278
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,185
Baxter: For life!
279
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:21,886
Oh, I said life.
I'll say ever.
280
00:10:21,888 --> 00:10:23,922
Madison: And we have
three nominees this evening --
281
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,657
Andrew and Baxter...
282
00:10:27,193 --> 00:10:31,830
...Jimothy C.K.,
and Tina Inger.
283
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:36,001
And tonight's Diamond Dealmaker
Award goes to...
284
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:39,871
...Baxter Reynolds!
285
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,741
[ Applause ]
286
00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:44,409
Glenn: Wait, just Baxter?
287
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:47,345
Baxter: Yes!
288
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:50,181
Amir: Holy shit!
Baxter won by himself?!
289
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,751
-Madison: Baxter Reynolds.
-Andrew: Wait.
290
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:55,854
Wait till they say my name.
291
00:10:55,856 --> 00:10:57,722
-Madison: Baxter Reynolds.
-Andrew: No, hold on.
292
00:10:57,724 --> 00:11:01,092
-Baxter: Yeah.
-Madison: Just Baxter Reynolds.
293
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,794
Baxter, Congratulations.
294
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:04,663
Baxter: Ah, thank you.
Thank you so much, Madison.
295
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,231
Madison: Congrats. Oh, sorry.
Just Baxter.
296
00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:08,266
Baxter: Whoo!
297
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:13,672
Okay, um...I wasn't, uh,
expecting to win this. Um, okay.
298
00:11:13,674 --> 00:11:15,073
Andrew: This is crazy.
299
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,808
The only way that this
could have happened
300
00:11:16,810 --> 00:11:20,845
is if every single voter crossed
out my name on the bal--
301
00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,914
ballot.
302
00:11:22,916 --> 00:11:24,716
Oh, ouch.
303
00:11:24,718 --> 00:11:27,318
Baxter: Uh, I want to thank
the Platinum team, uh, Dean.
304
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,720
Yeah, give it up for them --
305
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:31,122
Dean, Amir, Chelsea,
Victoria, Glenn.
306
00:11:31,124 --> 00:11:33,958
Kids, if you're watching,
uh, go to sleep.
307
00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:37,395
[ Laughter ]
308
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:41,266
Oh, and, of course,
um, I love him.
309
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:44,002
He walks by my side every day.
310
00:11:44,004 --> 00:11:45,704
Andrew: I am crushed,
311
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:49,708
but at least Baxy will give me
a special shout-out.
312
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,876
Baxter: He is my everything.
313
00:11:51,878 --> 00:11:53,111
Jesus Christ.
314
00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,113
Thank you so much!
Thank you!
315
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:57,082
[ Applause ]
Andrew: Fuck! Fuck!
316
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,884
Baxter: [ Laughing ]
317
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:01,086
It's hit me!
318
00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,420
I can't believe I won this!
319
00:12:02,422 --> 00:12:05,023
And now, I get to dance, too!
320
00:12:05,025 --> 00:12:08,059
??
321
00:12:17,303 --> 00:12:18,770
Andrew: How could you?
322
00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:19,904
Baxter: What?
323
00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,512
You're just jealous.
324
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,953
Victoria: They don't really know
what they're doing.
325
00:12:34,955 --> 00:12:36,387
Chelsea: No.
326
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:38,289
Andrew: Out of every friend,
you do this to me?
327
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:42,260
You know what?
I can't even do this.
328
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,261
Baxter: What?
329
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:44,929
Andrew: I can't do this anymore.
330
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,030
Baxter:
What are you talking about?
331
00:12:46,032 --> 00:12:47,766
Do the dance!
332
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,268
Andrew: We were gonna
do this together! Everything!
333
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:52,237
Baxter: I can't help
they voted for just me!
334
00:12:52,239 --> 00:12:54,939
Andrew:
You shouldn't have accepted it!!
335
00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:56,007
Baxter:
What do you want me to do?!
336
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,475
Just not take the award?!
337
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,377
Andrew:
That's what I would've done!
338
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:02,814
What's good for one of us
is good for both of us!
339
00:13:02,816 --> 00:13:04,349
Baxter: Not anymore!
340
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:07,252
Andrew: Andrew and Baxter
are no longer a duo!
341
00:13:07,254 --> 00:13:09,154
-Baxter: That's not true!
-Andrew: Yes, it is!!
342
00:13:09,156 --> 00:13:10,321
Baxter: That's no true!
Come back!
343
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,356
Andrew: It's true!!
344
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,957
Baxter: We're about to Tut!
345
00:13:12,959 --> 00:13:14,359
Andrew: All right,
well, let's see how Baxter
346
00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:16,795
likes being a solo act.
347
00:13:16,797 --> 00:13:19,864
Baxter: 5, 6, 7, 8!
348
00:13:19,866 --> 00:13:22,867
You love this part!
349
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:25,503
What are you doing?!
350
00:13:25,505 --> 00:13:27,172
I'm not a bad person!
351
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,808
Serge: [ Laughing ]
352
00:13:29,810 --> 00:13:31,943
Chelsea: I think Andrew
and Baxter just broke up.
353
00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:37,115
??
354
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,855
[ Both snorting and gasping ]
355
00:13:50,529 --> 00:13:52,897
Victoria: So,
the bros are fighting, and --
356
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:53,932
Actually, I don't care.
357
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:55,834
My category is up next.
358
00:13:55,836 --> 00:13:58,136
Eugene: Here we go, y'all.
Big moment.
359
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:01,105
And the winner
is for Best Broker...
360
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,942
Victoria: It's like the award
is already in my hands.
361
00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:07,545
Eugene: ...Victoria King!
362
00:14:07,547 --> 00:14:08,880
Victoria: Yes!
363
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:10,381
Yes, yes!
364
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,016
Daddy, are you watching?
365
00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,385
Eugene: Come on up here, girl!
Yeah.
366
00:14:14,387 --> 00:14:17,021
All right.
367
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,890
Chelsea: I'm happy for her,
368
00:14:18,892 --> 00:14:20,258
but we are never gonna
hear the end of this.
369
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:22,093
Eugene: Uh-huh.
370
00:14:22,095 --> 00:14:23,628
Uh-huh.
371
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,496
Uh-huh.
372
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:28,299
Yeah.
373
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:30,401
Victoria: [ Sighs ] Wow.
374
00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:33,171
What an honor.
So deserved.
375
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,340
Looking down on all of you.
376
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:37,075
Eugene: I'm sorry.
I'm sorry to cut you off.
377
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,176
I got to. I'm sorry, y'all.
378
00:14:38,178 --> 00:14:39,210
Victoria:
I think I get more time.
379
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,345
Eugene: No, I'm sorry, y'all.
380
00:14:40,347 --> 00:14:42,447
There's been a mistake, y'all.
381
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,282
There has been a wrongdoing.
382
00:14:44,284 --> 00:14:46,651
Victoria: What?
383
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,386
Eugene: Okay? And somebody has
done something wrong.
384
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,288
-Victoria: Who?
-Eugene: It was me.
385
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,156
I did something wrong.
-Victoria: What?
386
00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:54,192
Eugene:
I announced the wrong winner.
387
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:57,462
Victoria King is not
the winner of this award.
388
00:14:57,464 --> 00:14:59,898
She is the loser of this award.
389
00:14:59,900 --> 00:15:03,268
If this was a boxing match,
she would be knocked out.
390
00:15:03,270 --> 00:15:06,537
If this was golf,
she would be a bogey.
391
00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:09,007
If this was grits,
she would be Cream of Wheat.
392
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:10,375
Victoria:
Just spit it out already!
393
00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:12,577
Eugene:
The real winner of this award --
394
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,212
Don't cry, girl,
'cause it's my fault.
395
00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:18,616
The real winner
of the Best Broker Award is...
396
00:15:18,618 --> 00:15:21,586
Miss Jeannie Marchand.
Come on up here, girl.
397
00:15:21,588 --> 00:15:23,955
Amir: What?!
398
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,089
Victoria: No, no!
399
00:15:25,091 --> 00:15:26,457
This can't be happening!
400
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:28,927
Eugene: Snatch it!
Snatch it like a purse.
401
00:15:28,929 --> 00:15:31,496
[ Laughs ]
All right.
402
00:15:31,498 --> 00:15:33,064
Victoria: Dean...
403
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:34,966
Jeannie: Thank you so much.
404
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,969
How gracious of you.
You're a real hero.
405
00:15:37,971 --> 00:15:39,470
Victoria: No, no, no!
406
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:41,639
Why is this happening to me?!
407
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,974
Daddy!
408
00:15:42,976 --> 00:15:44,342
Jeannie: Let go of it.
409
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:47,645
I am so grateful
to get to do the job
410
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:51,115
that I get to do every day.
411
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,651
I don't take my talent
for granted.
412
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,286
Victoria: You're on my --
you're on my dress.
413
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,255
Andrew:
Welcome to my world, Victoria.
414
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:59,657
Grab yourself a turd
and start sucking.
415
00:15:59,659 --> 00:16:01,459
Jeannie:
And when I wake up every day,
416
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:05,129
I make a wish
that one day every child
417
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:07,632
will live in a home
with a view of the ocean.
418
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,400
Thank you so much.
419
00:16:09,402 --> 00:16:12,003
I'm not starving
tonight, Mama!
420
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:14,172
[ Cheers and applause ]
421
00:16:16,375 --> 00:16:19,177
Eugene: The real winner!
422
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,713
Victoria: Sit down!
423
00:16:21,715 --> 00:16:23,748
Sit the fuck down!
424
00:16:27,519 --> 00:16:30,121
[ Shouting indistinctly ]
425
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:40,631
??
426
00:16:40,633 --> 00:16:42,200
Victoria: Rocket was right.
427
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:46,037
Real estate is empty
and pointless and stupid!
428
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:50,375
Glenn:
My best friend betrayed me,
429
00:16:50,377 --> 00:16:54,178
cost me my dream job,
stole the love of my life.
430
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:59,384
Amir Yaghoob Michelle,
feel...my...wrath!
431
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:00,685
Amir: It's odd.
After betraying Glenn
432
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,387
and manipulating Chelsea,
433
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:05,456
I have this kind of hollow,
kind of achy feeling,
434
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,159
like, right here.
435
00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,727
It's weird, right?
436
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,529
Chelsea:
I dislike everyone I work with.
437
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,064
They don't take me seriously,
438
00:17:13,066 --> 00:17:15,166
and I got caught
between two idiots.
439
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:16,667
Well, that's gonna change.
440
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:19,103
Andrew: Andrew Wright is now
a solo broker.
441
00:17:19,105 --> 00:17:21,672
Me and Bax -- finished.
442
00:17:21,674 --> 00:17:23,541
Baxter:
You know what I just realized?
443
00:17:23,543 --> 00:17:25,143
Andrew's dead weight.
444
00:17:25,145 --> 00:17:27,712
I am better off on my own.
445
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:38,356
Gio: [ Laughs ]
446
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:40,525
[ Moans ]
Sure taste good!
447
00:17:40,527 --> 00:17:42,794
Sure taste good.
[ Moans ]
448
00:17:42,796 --> 00:17:45,096
Chelsea: The show's been
going on for two hours.
449
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:48,099
I lost my award to Serge
and Gio, for fuck's sake.
450
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,734
They've been unstoppable so far.
451
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,103
They have more awards
between them than eyebrows.
452
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:54,338
Glenn: Here we go -- the most
important award of the night --
453
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:55,740
Best Brokerage.
454
00:17:55,742 --> 00:17:58,342
If Platinum wins this,
Dean will finally achieve
455
00:17:58,344 --> 00:17:59,744
his dream of winning a TODD.
456
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,113
Dean: Infinity will not
stand in the way
457
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:05,249
of my dream of achieving TODD --
458
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:08,553
Tony, Oscar, Diamond Dealmaker.
459
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:11,422
Stoffanie: As president
of the voting committee
460
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,424
for the regional
real estate awards,
461
00:18:13,426 --> 00:18:16,127
it is my pleasure to present
462
00:18:16,129 --> 00:18:18,396
to you the final award
463
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:22,400
of the night for best brokerage.
464
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:25,303
The two nominees are...
465
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:26,737
Platinum Reality...
466
00:18:26,739 --> 00:18:29,874
[ Applause ]
467
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:32,477
...and Infinity Firm.
468
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:40,885
The winner of the Diamond is...
469
00:18:50,829 --> 00:18:52,130
...Platinum Realty.
470
00:18:52,132 --> 00:18:52,563
Dean: Yes!!
471
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:55,166
Yes!!
472
00:18:55,168 --> 00:18:56,734
Yes!
473
00:18:56,736 --> 00:18:58,836
[ Laughing ]
474
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:03,174
Wait.
475
00:19:03,176 --> 00:19:05,309
Victoria: Yay. We won.
476
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,477
Dean: Ladies and gentlemen,
477
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:09,347
my fellow sellers of land,
478
00:19:09,349 --> 00:19:12,717
this means
a great deal to me,
479
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:16,787
especially considering
there were only two nominees!
480
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:21,792
Someone had to win,
and someone did lose.
481
00:19:21,794 --> 00:19:27,198
You know, what we do
is not just about rewards.
482
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:29,233
That's just 90% of it.
483
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:32,537
The rest of it is about people.
484
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:36,440
Get up, get out,
and sell properties!
485
00:19:36,442 --> 00:19:40,311
There's a bond among
all of these people behind me
486
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:41,312
that cannot be broken.
487
00:19:41,314 --> 00:19:42,747
Glenn: You're disgusting me.
488
00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:44,482
-Chelsea: Oh, okay.
-Glenn: You're disgusting.
489
00:19:44,484 --> 00:19:46,217
-Victoria: It's my chair!
-Amir: It belongs to the gym!
490
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:48,419
Dean: Glenn, get that
fucking cake out of my office!
491
00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:52,323
They are like
a little family to me.
492
00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:54,625
We are like a family up here.
493
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:56,694
Glenn: You made this nice man
cry at my penis,
494
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:57,929
you bunch of assholes!
495
00:19:57,931 --> 00:20:00,298
[ Laughter ]
496
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,500
Dean: And I don't think
anyone on this stage
497
00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:05,303
would bother
coming in to work every day
498
00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,371
if they didn't care
deeply about each other.
499
00:20:07,373 --> 00:20:08,639
Victoria: [ Gasping, gagging ]
500
00:20:08,641 --> 00:20:10,308
Baxter:
[ Laughing ] She's choking.
501
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,809
-Amir: You like that?
-Glenn: Oh, you like that?
502
00:20:11,811 --> 00:20:13,244
-Amir: Yeah, you like that?
-Glenn: You like that?
503
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,545
Chelsea:
Happy birthday, motherfucker.
504
00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:15,780
Dean: This is the proof
505
00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:18,883
that we belong together,
all of us,
506
00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:22,386
for so long as God
shall have us be alive.
507
00:20:22,388 --> 00:20:24,222
Chelsea:
Put me down, you fucking beast!
508
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:25,556
Baxter: It's not worth it!
509
00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,592
Dean:
We killed you in the jungle!
510
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:30,761
Andrew:
No, no, no, no, no! No! Baxter!
511
00:20:30,763 --> 00:20:34,498
Dean: So, from our family
to all of you,
512
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:36,867
thank you very much!
513
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:38,903
[ Applause ]
Thank you for helping me
514
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,906
achieve TODD!
515
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,808
[ Chanting "TODD" ]
516
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:50,915
I'm looking at you losers
through my award.
517
00:20:56,555 --> 00:20:59,423
Stoffanie: Oh, Dean!
518
00:20:59,425 --> 00:21:00,891
Do you have it?
-Dean: Yes.
519
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:04,695
Here is the...fruit salad
that we discussed earlier.
520
00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,898
Stoffanie: Um, not really
eating sugar right now.
521
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,700
Dean: This is the...uh...
522
00:21:09,702 --> 00:21:12,370
Christmas has come early
and here is your present.
523
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:13,938
Stoffanie: I'm Jewish.
524
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:16,641
Dean: Do you remember when
we had that conversation before?
525
00:21:16,643 --> 00:21:18,576
Stoffanie:
Was it Tuesday that we talked?
526
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:20,311
Because I'm not --
-Dean: It was Tuesday.
527
00:21:20,313 --> 00:21:22,880
It was Tuesday.
This is the...
528
00:21:22,882 --> 00:21:25,316
prize at the end
of the treasure map.
529
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:26,584
Stoffanie:
We talked about treasure?
530
00:21:26,586 --> 00:21:28,286
Dean: We -- [ Sighs ]
531
00:21:28,288 --> 00:21:29,654
Stoffanie:
When we talked last week,
532
00:21:29,656 --> 00:21:32,823
you were supposed to bring
$500,000 in cash,
533
00:21:32,825 --> 00:21:35,926
and then I was gonna rig
the award ceremony for you
534
00:21:35,928 --> 00:21:37,561
because you totally
weren't gonna win.
535
00:21:37,563 --> 00:21:39,430
Dean: I do remember that now.
536
00:21:39,432 --> 00:21:41,966
It occurs to me that that's
what this briefcase is full of.
537
00:21:41,968 --> 00:21:44,635
It's full of $500,000.
538
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,337
Stoffanie: Oh!
539
00:21:46,339 --> 00:21:47,672
[ Laughs ]
540
00:21:47,674 --> 00:21:49,540
Dean: I'd like for
this exchange to be over.
541
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:51,809
Stoffanie: Right. Me, too.
I have money to count.
542
00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,477
Dean:
In -- In a private place...
543
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:54,979
Stoffanie: Yes.
Dean:...where no one is around.
544
00:21:54,981 --> 00:21:57,348
Stoffanie: We're doing
an addition on our property.
545
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:58,649
-Dean: I'm gonna stop you there.
-Stoffanie: Just...yeah.
546
00:21:58,651 --> 00:22:00,084
-Dean: Congratulations.
-Stoffanie: Yeah.
547
00:22:00,086 --> 00:22:01,786
Dean: And if you ever need
to sell that place,
548
00:22:01,788 --> 00:22:03,321
you know who to call.
-Stoffanie: Oh, we have someone.
549
00:22:03,323 --> 00:22:04,555
Dean: I'm going to go away now.
550
00:22:04,605 --> 00:22:09,155
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