Original subtitles

Baxter: Previously, on "Bajillion Dollar Properties"...

Dean: In 8 weeks' time,

I'm going to take on a partner here at Platinum.

Victoria: My whole life has been building up to this moment.

Dean: Glenn, I need you to be my eyes and ears among them.

Amir: Glenn's definitely Dean's son, right?

Am I the only one who sees this?

Dean: Please say hello to my new partner at Platinum,

Glenn Bouchard.

Amir: What? -Victoria: What?

Aaaaaaah! -[Shouting]

Glenn: Welcome to the age of New Glenn.

? [Rattle] ?

??

It's been three months since Dean made me partner.

Best three months of my life.

This is mine.

This car is sex on wheels, and Glenn's putting it in drive.

Hi, yeah, this is Glenn Bouchard.

I recently leased an automobile from your dealership.

Yeah, so I need help getting it in drive again.

All right.

Nope, didn't work.

Can you have someone from the dealership come

and meet me here?

[Whimsical tune plays] I don't have an office, yet,

but I've pimped out my cubicle to reflect my new status.

I'm your partner now. Yes, I'm your boss,

but we can still have the same fun work relationship

that we always had, all right?

Baxter: Can you stay away from us at all times?

Andrew: Just like keep your distance,

and it's for your own safety, 'cause I --

Baxter: We're bullies, deep down.

Chelsea: When Glenn got the partnership,

I lost it and unplugged from all social media.

For like a day.

Part of a day.

An hour.

If you click "housekeeping things",

if you want to send over the earnest money,

you could PayPal that over, but I really prefer Venmo.

I think it's a little more egalitarian,

a little more current.

Oh, and I'll be sure to have my sellers

tweet you over the code to the alarm.

Yay!

[ Arguing indistinctly ]

Amir: Yes, my plans for the partnership were thwarted.

For now. But a great man once said,

"Labeled flop, but Pit don't stop."

It was Pitbull.

Man: You can pick your mom, or you can pick your aunt.

You can't have both with us, okay?

Woman: My mom and my aunt are a thing, they're a thing.

Amir: Okay. There's good news and bad news.

The bad news is you guys are gonna get divorced.

The good new is I am going to

help you each find separate homes.

There you go.

This one has my direct line on it.

Man: Okay, all right, that's enough, thank you.

Amir: [Smooch]

Andrew: Of course we were bummed when we didn't get

the partnership. -Baxter: But we're adults

and adults dust themself off and move on with dignity.

Andrew: Ooogh!

That's why this backyard is perfect.

Baxter: See, you could even go longer.

We're gonna get in! -Andrew: Ah! Oh!

We're gonna get in on the ground floor on this property!

Andrew: Let's do it six more times,

and then we'll go inside.

??

??

Baxter: Dean called a staff meeting this morning.

Andrew: Apparently, he has some exciting news.

Dean: Ladies and gentlemen, may I invite all of you

to shut up?

I have, here in this panther-skin binder,

the nominees for the 88th Annual Greater Los Angeles Regional

Real Estate Awards. -Andrew: Oh, boy.

Dean: And let me tell you something:

Platinum has done quite well.

[ Cheering ]

Best Writing, Adapted Listing Description,

our own Chelsea Leight-Leigh.

Chelsea: Who's that? Who's that?

I integrated Yo Gotti's "Down in the DM"

in my description of a property in the Trousdale Estates.

[baritone] "Snapchat me that listing."

Dean: Best Supporting Realtor, Amir Yaghoob.

[Cheering] Chelsea: Okay.

Amir: We all know I'm a lead broker,

but the competition's too fierce.

Why lose to the best when you can beat out the worst?

Dean: Best Visual Effects at an Open House, of course,

Baxter Reynolds and Andrew Wright.

Baxter: Ye-e-e-s! -Andrew: Ye-e-e-s!

The $50,000 laser show was worth the multiple lawsuits.

Baxter: Half the crowd got vertigo,

half the crowd were temporarily blinded.

Andrew: One cat lost its mind, went crazy.

Baxter: He was nuts. -Andrew: He went crazy.

Dean: Most Improved, Glenn Bouchard.

Glenn: Oh, yeah.

The ceiling is above me, Dean.

Dean: Always. -Glenn: Yes.

Dean: And we're nominated for many more awards,

[Suspenseful music plays] but there's only one

that I really care about. [Ominous chord strikes]

Platinum has been nominated for Best Brokerage!

That's right! -Chelsea: Yes!

Andrew: Ow! -Dean: That's right.

We are up against our old foes, Infinity,

and I will not let them win.

Serge: How about that? How you like that?

How you like that?

Dean: Infinity will not stand in the way of my dream

of achieving TODD:

Tony, Oscar, Diamond Dealmaker.

Chelsea: Diamond Dealmakers are our industry's Oscar trophies

and Dean is obsessed with getting a TODD.

A TODD is like an EGOT, but not shitty.

Dean: Now, I already have a Tony and an Oscar.

All I need is that double-D to achieve TODD status.

-We're gonna bring it home. Chelsea: Yeah.

Dean: Are you going to help me get TODD?

Are we going to get TODD? -Chelsea: Yes!

Dean: We want TODD! -Andrew: We want TODD.

All: [chanting] TODD, TODD!

TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD!

Dean: That's right. -All: TODD! TODD! TODD! TODD!

TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD!

Todd: Todd, Todd, Todd, Todd!

Dean: What are you doing here? We're having a meeting.

Todd: My name is Todd. -Dean: Yes, I know.

Todd: You were chanting "Todd."

Dean: We weren't chanting the name Todd,

we were chanting the acronym TODD.

We were not calling for you.

[ Whimsical tune plays ]

Todd: Fuck you all.

Dean: What a rude laborer.

All: [whispering] TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD, TODD.

Dean: I need all of you to work very hard, indeed.

You have to work hard, Andrew. -Andrew: Yeah.

Dean: You have to work hard, Baxter.

You have to work hard, Glenn, very hard. Yes, Amir,

you also have to work hard. -Amir: You know it.

Dean: Chelsea, you have to work hard.

Chelsea: On it. -Dean: Victoria, you --

[ Suspenseful music climbs ]

Where's Victoria? Where is Victoria?!

Why is she not in Victoria's chair?

This is highly irregular!

Glenn: Dean, I thought she was there,

and then I looked at the chair -Chelsea: Yeah.

Glenn: and she's not there.

Dean: Glenn, this is exactly the experience that I had!

Andrew: She's probably somewhere else.

Amir: Maybe she's taking a dump and has her period.

Dean: Amir! I don't like your crude filth.

We've talked about this. This is bad news.

Victoria is nominated for more awards --

Andrew: Oh, shit! -Dean: Ohhh.

Baxter: Oh, shit. -Ohhh.

Dean: Todd. -Todd.

All: Todd! Todd!

Todd! -Woman: Todd!

Todd! Todd!

Todd! Todd!

Baxter: What do we do when this happens?

Dean: I don't know!

[ Melancholy tune plays ]

[Suspenseful chord strikes] Victoria: How have I been

since Glenn's promotion?

Over the moon!

Now, turn off the lights and leave!

Leave! [ Suspenseful music climbs ]

And give me that doughnut.

??

Glenn: Everything's been going great,

but there's one little problem:

I haven't sold a single house.

[Ominous chord strikes] [Eerie music plays]

I haven't told Dean yet.

I can't tell who's more threatening:

him or the Mercedes dealership.

This is the dining room, -Woman: Yeah.

Glenn: that, obviously, has a little bit of pizzazz to it.

Woman: Ocean views?

Glenn: Yes. -Woman: Are you kidding me?

Glenn: It opens up onto the patio there --

Woman: I could have my coffee out there.

Glenn: Of course. You have your coffee in here,

you could have your coffee right here.

The furniture all comes with the property.

Woman: The furniture conveys. -Glenn: Mm-hmm.

Woman: Oh, my God. Justin will love that.

I think. -Glenn: I wish he were here.

Woman: I know. I'm assuming you have multiple offers?

Glenn: Yes, I do. -Woman: Okay.

Glenn: There are a lot of people looking at this property

right now. That's a lie.

I'm lying. I'm a liar.

Woman: Okay, here's the thing: Justin is in Asia on business.

I just don't know what to do because he hasn't seen it.

Glenn: Well, there is a video tour

that's one of the links on the property listing.

Woman: I was hoping --

and I know this is a little avant-garde --

I was thinking maybe we could do a little role playing,

and you could actually play Justin,

so I could just get a sense of how the two of us

kind of "vibe" in this house.

Glenn: Yeah, of course, okay. -Woman: Is that weird?

Glenn: No, no, it's fine. -Woman: Sorry.

Glenn: I'll be Justin, sure. -Woman: Okay, well,

why don't you just try Justin on for size.

Let's say goodbye to Glenn.

Glenn: All right. -Woman: Great.

Glenn: Hey, babe, I love this place, so far, yeah.

Woman: Yeah? You like it, babe?

Glenn: Yeah, I think this table -Woman: I mean --

Glenn: is pretty cute

and you seem like you're diggin' it.

Woman: I've prepared dinner. Should we eat?

Glenn: Yeah. I'm starving. Yeah. I love it.

This stuff smells great, babe.

I love the way you cook and --

Woman: No, wait, I gotta stop you there.

He...

Glenn: Okay. -Woman: Doesn't love my cooking.

Glenn: Oh, I'll take it back then.

Babe, this stuff smells like trash,

but it looks gorgeous on this table,

which comes with the property.

Woman: What are you talking about, Justin?

Glenn: Uh -- -Woman: Sorry,

I think you're getting a little confused.

Glenn: Sorry. I'm gonna make a choice,

and then, hopefully, you just tweak it, okay?

Woman: Okay. -Glenn: All right.

[ Woman sighs ]

Glenn: When I come home, I just don't want to hear

this kind of shit from you. [laughs]

Woman: Yeah, well. Dr. Franklin called.

Glenn: What did he say, you're drinking too much wine?

Woman: Dr. Franklin said your sperm count was incredibly low.

And I didn't want to tell you. I said, "That'll humiliate him."

Glenn: Maybe it'd be a little bit higher

if I were more turned on in the bedroom.

Woman: [crying] Wow. -Glenn: You're tryin' to ask me

to make a baby and you're bringin' Target panties to bed?

Woman: You know what? Do the dishes, okay?

And I'll just be upstairs watching TV, again.

Glenn: Fine. -Woman: Honestly,

I've fucking had it with you.

I'm outta here. -Glenn: Well, I'm gonna

follow you, 'cause I love this property

and I wanna know more about it. -Woman: What?!

Glenn: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know.

Woman: Yeah, that wasn't -- Let me storm off.

Glenn: Okay, yeah, okay. -Woman: I'm outta here!

Glenn: Fine! -Woman: Don't follow me.

Glenn: Well, if you go to the bedroom,

that's where I want to sleep. -Woman: Okay.

Glenn: And if I get horny, I'm gonna take what's mine.

Woman: Justin. -Glenn: Yeah.

[Suspenseful music plays] Woman: Let's continue.

Glenn: Okay.

Woman: Excuse me. [Suspenseful music climbs]

??

Amir: A listing of mine has sat on the market for months,

and I'm desperate to figure out what's wrong.

So I called in the Bloodhound.

This guy literally sniffs out the hidden problems in a house.

I mean, I gotta say it's truly an honor to have you.

It's not that you even answered my phone call.

I've heard about your work, Bloodhound, and --

[Sitar plays] Do you think that I can

sell this h-- -Bloodhound: Shh.

Okay.

Amir: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if there's a smell

that you think can help sell this house,

whatever you think -- -Bloodhound: This house

will be sold. The problem you're having right now is

that I'm smelling a lot of other past smells.

Ghost smells, we call them. -Amir: Really?

Bloodhound: Give me a second.

Yeah, there was a murder.

Maybe two.

Right here.

[sniff] I'm picking up a lot of blood.

It's stabbing blood, not period blood.

[sniff] Yeah.

That's elephant blood.

Amir: It's actually not that weird.

Some rich people who don't have time

to go on an actual safari will fly in exotic animals

and hunt them from the comfort of their own home.

Bloodhound: I think the fix-it is caramel.

Or maybe a hot chocolate. I don't know yet.

Hot chocolate's not gonna work.

Amir: Amazing.

??

Andrew: So Dean is convinced

that we can't win Best Brokerage without Victoria

and he said one of us needs to go check on her.

He thought I volunteered, but I was swatting a ladybug.

Victoria?

[ Suspenseful music climbs ]

Victoria!

Jesus Christ.

Wow-ow.

Victoria: What do you want, Andrew?

Andrew: What happened? -Victoria: Ugh.

If you wanna have sex, -Andrew: Wh...?

Victoria: I'm not interested.

Andrew: Okay, well, that was one of my questions.

But we can go down that road a little later, if it comes up.

And, right now, it's not coming up.

We noticed you weren't in the office

and we got a little worried.

Victoria: Oh, you noticed? You noticed I've been gone?

Andrew: Yeah. I got picked to come and check on you.

Victoria: Well, you checked.

I'm doing fantastic, you know. [Eerie music plays]

Andrew: You don't look fantastic.

Victoria: I feel fantastic.

Andrew: It smells. [Ominous chord strikes]

It smells horrid.

Victoria: Well, I didn't know guests were coming over, okay?

Andrew: This is not -- you would need a lot of warning,

if guests were coming over.

Victoria: What do you want, Andrew?

Andrew: We're just worried about you, Victoria.

I mean, as weird as that may sound,

because, normally, we don't care about you, but we were --

We were like "Something's missing from the office."

Victoria: Like the person who should've been partner?

Was that -- was that person missing?

Glenn's just walking around, "Oh, I'm the new partner.

I didn't work hard for this. I don't deserve this.

Victoria does, but now I'm the new partner."

Andrew: He doesn't walk around saying that.

Victoria: There's no reason for me

to come back to the office and continue to work like that

when Dean obviously doesn't notice.

So, this is fine.

I've got the MLS.

I'm doin' the little work that I need to do

and this is my new life now, you know?

This is my new -- this is my new life.

Andrew: Whoa. [cough]

Victoria: I'm gonna do the bare minimum

that I need to do to get by, and that's it.

Andrew: Bare minimum? -Victoria: Yeah.

Andrew: Shit, yeah. -Victoria: What?

Andrew: That's how I make it. I don't get stressed

about anything 'cause I do the bare minimum.

Not 'cause I want to, not 'cause I could do more.

I'm a idiot.

Victoria, you don't have to be sad.

We're both doing the bare minimum.

You're like Andrew. Victoria and Andrew.

Now we have somebody.

Victoria: I'm Andrew? [Suspenseful chord strikes]

Andrew: This is like looking in a mirror right now --

except for this. [Sinister violin music plays]

That should cheer you up, right?

Victoria: Stop talking. -Andrew: We're the same person.

We're like one person.

We're the same person.

[Sinister violin music intensifies]

??

Amir: The Bloodhound is a mysterious man

with mysterious ways.

Also, he never stops smelling shit.

[Sitar plays] [Sniffing]

Bloodhound: Yeah, that's lead paint.

Amir: Is it paint? -Bloodhound: Yeah, lead paint.

Amir: Lead paint?!

None of the inspection reports said anything about lead.

Bloodhound: You need to burn this house to the ground.

Amir: What? -Bloodhound: You're not gonna

sell it. If the state finds out you're trying

to sell a house like this, with all this lead paint --

Amir: This is a Frank Lloyd Wright house.

I don't think -- -Bloodhound: This is

a Frank Lloyd Wrong house, my boy.

This is a Frank Lloyd Wrong house.

Amir: Okay, Frank Lloyd Wright did not design the house.

But he did sleep here for two nights in 1957.

Either way, I am not burning it down.

This is costing me $10,000,

for you to tell me to burn the house down?

Bloodhound: What if a little 2-year-old comes in here

and starts eating the wall? Guess what.

They're gonna be in prison in six years

because of the violence that gets into their brain.

Amir: I'm no Bloodhound, but something doesn't smell right.

Can I ask you a question? -Bloodhound: Yeah.

Amir: And I don't mean to be offensive here,

but what authority do you have on smells, like?

Bloodhound: I wrote my thesis on 16th-century Russian flatulence

called "Glad I'm Here Pootin'." [Putin]

Amir: Russian farts? -Bloodhound: I got my Master's

degree from Ucla. [uhk-luh]

Amir: Does he mean UCLA?

Bloodhound: Do you know nothing about smelling?

Amir: I don't know a lot about smelling,

that's why I hired you. -Bloodhound: Look, when --

when I was a kid and I would enter the smelling bees --

Amir: Smelling bees? That's a thing?

Bloodhound: Where are you from, son?

Amir: I grew up in L.A. -Bloodhound: [Scoff]

Yeah, in real America,

there's something called smelling bees, you know,

in elementary school; you get up and you smell things.

You smell chalk; you smell the lunch lady.

It's a smelling bee.

Amir: I smell bullshit. That's an amazing story.

Bloodhound: It's an amazing world.

Anything's possible.

You can fuckin' scam anybody. [Sinister music plays]

Amir: What? Did you just say you could scam anybody?

Bloodhound: The lights not work?

Amir: Get the f-- Get over here! -Bloodhound: Just step away

from me. Step away from me. -Amir: Give me my money back.

Bloodhound: This is a sample of what you're gonna get.

Amir: Give me my money back! -Bloodhound: This is a sample

of what you're gonna get! -Amir: Give me my money back!

Bloodhound: This is it! -Amir: Give me my money back!

Oh, shit. Fuck. Hello? Bloodhound.

I have your hat! I have your fucking hat!

Damn it!

??

Glenn: Role playing as my client's husband

has definitely been strange, but,

I haven't been doing this for long and, for all I know,

this is a normal part of real estate.

There are a lot of layers to this house.

It's almost like an onion that's not going to make you cry.

Woman: [laughs] I love it.

But, um,

let's just pause because I just don't know

how Justin's gonna feel about it.

Glenn: Oh, well, if you want, we can see

how Justin feels about it. -Woman: Well, I was actually

thinking maybe, you know, you and Justin could talk.

Glenn: Oh. All right, all right.

Justin, do you have any questions,

so far, about the property, or...?

Questions, per se, I don't know.

I really like it, so far.

Woman: Maybe about the, -Glenn: Hm?

you know, the finances of it all, you know?

Glenn: Sure, sure. I'd love to know how much --

how big the escrow account has to be

before we move on this.

Oh, yeah, that's a -- that's a great question. So,

the escrow account would be -- -Woman: Glenn, you wanna ask him

just a little bit about his credit because

[whispering] that may be an issue down the line.

Glenn: Okay, well -- -Woman: Ask gently. [laughs]

Glenn: Okay, well, credit-wise, obviously,

we have a lot of clients come to us in different places.

So we understand where you're at.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, right now --

Woman: Justin would be pret-ty upset by that.

I mean, he's a redblooded man. [laughs]

Glenn: Okay. Good to know. Good to know.

Uh, what are you tryin' to say, man?

I can't believe you would ask me something like that

in front of my loving wife. -Woman: Yeah, that's not right.

Glenn: Well, I didn't mean anything by it. I just --

Woman: Let him talk to you like that, Glenn?

Glenn: Um, hey, okay, don't talk to me like that.

Woman: You want a sale, but you're not a complete pussy.

Glenn: Yeah, I'm not a complete pussy.

I think you are a complete pussy.

And you know what I do to pussies.

Tell him what I do to pussies, honey.

[ Woman laughs ]

Glenn: [chuckle] Tell him. -Woman: Well, he fucks them.

[Sinister music plays] Glenn: Oh, my God. I don't --

I'm not trying to start anything right now.

Well, too late, you already started something, all right?

Woman: Ooh! -Glenn: Whoa.

Woman: Whoa! [laughs] Glenn, careful.

Oh, my God. You guys, stop fighting.

Glenn: Hey, whoa. You don't need to take it there.

Woman: Stop fighting. -Glenn: Stop fighting? Ahh!

Woman: Oh, my God. Glenn: You like that?

I'm so sorry, Glenn. -Glenn: No, you love it.

You love it. You stay right there and you watch this, huh.

Uh! Uh! -Woman: Oh, my God! Glenn!

Glenn: Ah, my crotch. -Woman: Are you okay, Glenn?

Glenn: No, he kneed my crotch. -Woman: I'm -- I'm sorry.

Glenn: He punched my stomach. -Woman: Help him up!

Glenn: Anh! Anh! -Woman: [gasp] Oh, my God!

Glenn: I slapped him like a pimp slaps a bitch.

Woman: Oh, my God! Glenn. I'm calling -- You know what?

Glenn: Yeah. -Woman: Why do you always

do this?! -Glenn: Ah! Ahh! Ah.

Woman: I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed.

Glenn: You gotta protect me. -Woman: I'm sorry.

He's a monster sometimes. -Glenn: Ohhhhh!

Woman: Stop it!

No, just leave him alone!

All right.

All right, tell him we'll be out in five minutes.

Glenn: No, I have to stay with you

while the tour is happening. -Woman: Just give us

Glenn: I don't care. -Woman: 5 minutes!

Glenn: I don't care that he's here.

Woman: No, honey, we shouldn't. -Glenn: No, it's fine.

Keep going. -Woman: Yeah?

Glenn: Whatever it takes to make the sale.

Woman: Are you gonna be okay? -Glenn: He's gonna be fine.

Don't even worry about it. -Woman: I don't feel right

about this. -Glenn: Do you not want this?

Woman: I do, it's just, with all our fertility problems --

Glenn: Oh, my God, you're gonna bring this up now?

Woman: I'm sorry! It's just -- -Glenn: You know,

a lot of guys go through fertility problems.

Woman: Glenn, could you give us a little space?

Glenn: I'm sorry, yeah. [Melancholy tune plays]

What, you're not in the mood anymore?

Woman: No, it's not that I'm not in the mood,

it's just like we haven't had sex in months.

Glenn: Hey.

Tell me what you want, and I'll deliver.

Woman: I want this house.

Glenn: I want it, too.

Uh...

Woman: Glenn, I think we're ready to write an offer.

Glenn: If you two want a moment. -Woman: I mean, if Justin --

Yeah. -Glenn: I'll be right back.

Woman: Okay.

Let's do it, babe.

Glenn: Let's get this house. -[Woman laughs]

Glenn: Okay? -Woman: Is Glenn okay?

He's a little weird, right? -Glenn: Yeah. We don't have to

worry about him. -Woman: [whispering] He's gay.

Glenn: Is he gay? I don't think that he's gay.

He seems about as masculine as I am.

I sold my first house!

I can keep my Mercedes!

??

[ Sinister music plays ]

Andrew: We're the same person.

We are peas in a pod.

I got my little Doppelganger --

or my Doppel-banger. -Victoria: [distorted] No.

No.

[ Suspenseful music climbs ]

I'm not an Andrew. I'm a Victoria

and it's time for me to get back to Platinum

and win every damn Diamond Dealmaker I was nominated for!

The bitch is back. [Ominous chord strikes]

??

Dean: 2, 3.

Well, well, well.

Victoria: The prodigal wife returns. [laughs]

Dean: I don't believe that's the expression.

Victoria: I'm back. Dean: It's the Prodigal Son,

is the expression. -Victoria: You can interchange.

Dean: How did wife get in there? -Victoria: Me to you.

Dean: We are not married. -Victoria: Not yet.

Dean: That is how we shall remain.

Victoria: Can I sit here, Dean? -Dean: Sit on a chair.

Victoria: Great. Dean, before I get back to work --

which, I'm excited to be here --

I need to clear some things up between us.

Dean: Are you certain you need to do this?

Victoria: Just get it settled. -Dean: You may say

what you need to say. -Victoria: I will.

Dean, why did you choose Glenn as your partner over me?

Dean: So it's more of a quest--

Victoria: Because I've been wracking my brain

and I realized the reason you can't have me as partner is

because the sexual tension we feel between each other

is too much. It's too much for you to concentrate;

it's too much for you to be able to work beside me.

Dean: Well, that's 0% true.

Let me tell you why.

Victoria: Dean, if it's not that, then I think I know why.

Dean: I can tell you why.

Victoria: Which is: Glenn's transgender;

you hired him for diversity in the office.

Dean: No, he's not transgender. -Victoria: Okay.

Dean: He's -- -Victoria: You know for sure?

Dean: Yes, I do. Your theories are baseless

Victoria: All right. -Dean: and...somewhat demented.

I'm now going to tell you -Victoria: Sure.

Dean: the actual reason. -Victoria: What --

Dean: I need you to not be talking.

Victoria: I just want to know -- -Dean: You mustn't --

Victoria: You're just gonna -- -Dean: Victoria.

You mustn't speak when I say this.

Victoria: Is it happening right now?

Dean: It's about to happen

in 3, 2... [Suspenseful music plays]

Glenn is my son.

[ Ominous music climbs ]

I'm his father. Blood relative.

There is no mistaking it.

Victoria: You had relations with his mother?

Dean: Yes; that's how sons are made.

[ Suspenseful chords strike ]

Victoria: Nepotism?

[Whimsical tune plays] Dean, why didn't you say so?

Dean: Well. -Victoria: Are you kidding me?

If there's one thing I understand, it's that.

Dean: Well, I trust that this will remain between us,

this little secret.

Victoria: Dean, I think we can keep a secret

between us, don't you? -Dean: I hope so.

Victoria: Well, my lips are sealed.

[Sultry music plays] Dean: Good, good to hear.

Victoria: Unless you need them to be unsealed.

Dean: I do not need that, no. -Victoria: You sure?

Dean: Positive. -Victoria: Your mouth

is saying no, but your eyes are saying "Please! Please!"

Dean: Please do as my mouth says.

Victoria: I'm not gonna tell anyone about

our arrangement. -Dean: Which is?

Victoria: You and I,

arranged,

together. [Sultry music continues]

Maybe if you had an open hand, it'd would be easier to show.

Dean: What are you trying to do?

I'm going to put this away.

??

[Sultry music plays] Chelsea: She's either trying

to seduce him or she's the worst

oldtimey pickpocket artist I've ever seen.

Andrew: Are they having a staring contest?

Chelsea: No. They're clearly speaking;

their mouths are moving.

Andrew: Yeah, you can talk during a staring contest.

There's -- Amir: No, you can't.

Chelsea: Yeah. Oh -- gah. Oh. Bye! Bye!

Andrew: Go. Go, go.

[ Scampering ]

[ Engine hums, clatter ]

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