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1
00:00:16,833 --> 00:00:17,683
Riot Rivers!
2
00:00:17,852 --> 00:00:18,559
Aah!
3
00:00:20,003 --> 00:00:21,520
(humming softly)
4
00:00:21,671 --> 00:00:23,856
-Riot Rivers!
-(gasps)
5
00:00:24,083 --> 00:00:25,599
HOMER (staticky): Honey, are you in there?
6
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:26,917
Yes.
7
00:00:26,935 --> 00:00:29,102
-Riot Rivers!
-Aah!
8
00:00:29,255 --> 00:00:32,089
(chanting):
Ri-ot Riv-ers! Ri-ot Riv-ers!
9
00:00:32,107 --> 00:00:33,699
There it is! Turn!
10
00:00:33,926 --> 00:00:35,275
-(tires squealing)
-Calm down!
11
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:36,976
I'm not gonna miss
your stupid water park.
12
00:00:37,129 --> 00:00:38,595
It's not stupid.
13
00:00:38,614 --> 00:00:41,598
Riot Rivers was the
greatest summer job I ever had.
14
00:00:41,691 --> 00:00:44,692
Getting paid to watch people
of all ages eat it,
15
00:00:44,770 --> 00:00:46,270
again and again.
16
00:00:46,288 --> 00:00:48,863
Just eatin' it so hard!
17
00:00:48,957 --> 00:00:50,382
-♪ I wanna rock ♪
-♪ Rock! ♪
18
00:00:50,492 --> 00:00:51,717
(laughter)
19
00:00:51,868 --> 00:00:54,461
♪ I wanna rock ♪
20
00:00:54,538 --> 00:00:56,947
♪ Rock! ♪
21
00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:59,707
-♪ I want to rock ♪
-♪ Rock! ♪
22
00:00:59,876 --> 00:01:01,226
Wait a minute.
23
00:01:01,453 --> 00:01:03,896
They did a documentary
about this place.
24
00:01:04,047 --> 00:01:06,231
(dramatic music plays)
25
00:01:09,128 --> 00:01:11,144
No, it didn't
happen that way.
26
00:01:11,297 --> 00:01:13,238
There was different music.
27
00:01:14,075 --> 00:01:16,967
(giggling)
28
00:01:16,985 --> 00:01:18,577
Hmm?
29
00:01:18,728 --> 00:01:20,137
Quiet Rivers?!
30
00:01:20,155 --> 00:01:22,639
They changed the "ruh"
to a "qwah."
31
00:01:22,732 --> 00:01:24,232
Did you know about this?
32
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:26,734
I told you they changed the name
before we left.
33
00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,754
I thought you were joking.
34
00:01:28,905 --> 00:01:30,738
That's the problem
with you, Marge.
35
00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:32,574
You're always kidding around.
36
00:01:32,668 --> 00:01:34,167
(laughter and chatter)
37
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,744
HOMER (groaning):
Oh...
38
00:01:36,913 --> 00:01:38,839
Oh!
39
00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,432
Come on!
40
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:44,010
See? They turned all the super
cool rides into baby rides.
41
00:01:44,163 --> 00:01:45,512
And the teens working here--
42
00:01:45,606 --> 00:01:47,422
they're not even laughing
at the kids wiping out.
43
00:01:47,591 --> 00:01:49,257
They're loading them in
feet first.
44
00:01:49,351 --> 00:01:51,668
Hey! Where are your cutoffs?
45
00:01:51,687 --> 00:01:53,278
Are you even high?
46
00:01:54,857 --> 00:01:56,340
There's nothing worse
in this universe
47
00:01:56,433 --> 00:01:58,692
than a ride steering wheel
that does nothing.
48
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,101
No, it does something.
49
00:02:00,195 --> 00:02:02,579
It makes the frog smile.
50
00:02:03,958 --> 00:02:05,940
-(Maggie babbles)
-(Milhouse humming)
51
00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,535
Oh, man, swim diapers.
52
00:02:08,687 --> 00:02:10,445
I remember those.
53
00:02:10,464 --> 00:02:12,113
True freedom.
54
00:02:12,133 --> 00:02:15,092
I could tell you some stories.
55
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,048
BOTH:
Can we leave yet?
56
00:02:22,201 --> 00:02:23,809
Can we leave yet?
Can we leave yet?
57
00:02:24,036 --> 00:02:25,126
Aw, you kids don't know,
58
00:02:25,146 --> 00:02:27,312
but this place
used to be so bitchin'.
59
00:02:27,464 --> 00:02:29,964
And the best slide of all
was right over there.
60
00:02:30,042 --> 00:02:31,333
Think of it.
61
00:02:31,393 --> 00:02:33,894
90% of all hospitalizations
62
00:02:34,046 --> 00:02:36,046
off just one ride!
63
00:02:36,139 --> 00:02:38,574
I wonder...
64
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:44,738
(gasps)
It's still here.
65
00:02:44,890 --> 00:02:47,815
The Devil's Deluge had
the longest lines,
66
00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:51,461
the scariest turns,
even its own ambulance!
67
00:02:53,582 --> 00:02:55,565
Hello, my love.
68
00:02:55,584 --> 00:02:57,901
Did you miss me?
69
00:02:57,994 --> 00:03:00,053
♪ ♪
70
00:03:01,407 --> 00:03:02,347
Wow.
71
00:03:02,499 --> 00:03:04,074
-Looks dry.
-(wind whistling)
72
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:05,909
And dangerous.
73
00:03:06,002 --> 00:03:08,187
(Homer grunting softly)
74
00:03:10,098 --> 00:03:12,766
Children, behold the deluge.
75
00:03:12,860 --> 00:03:15,085
For today,
we punch fear in the face
76
00:03:15,103 --> 00:03:17,512
and steal death's girlfriend,
77
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:20,616
as we truly live
for the first time.
78
00:03:22,018 --> 00:03:23,035
(crashes)
79
00:03:23,262 --> 00:03:25,495
Also, this is
now the only way down.
80
00:03:28,100 --> 00:03:30,024
-♪ I wanna rock ♪
-♪ Rock! ♪
81
00:03:30,118 --> 00:03:32,102
(Bart and Lisa screaming)
82
00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:33,770
-Branch!
-♪ I wanna rock ♪
83
00:03:33,863 --> 00:03:35,196
-♪ Rock! ♪
-Possums!
84
00:03:35,290 --> 00:03:36,289
O-possums!
85
00:03:36,366 --> 00:03:37,549
-♪ I want to rock ♪
-(hissing)
86
00:03:37,776 --> 00:03:38,608
♪ Rock! ♪
87
00:03:38,702 --> 00:03:40,944
(Bart shouting)
88
00:03:40,963 --> 00:03:43,463
-♪ I wanna rock ♪
-♪ Rock! ♪
89
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,207
(all yelling)
90
00:03:46,227 --> 00:03:48,710
-♪ I wanna rock ♪
-♪ Rock! ♪
91
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:52,138
(laughter)
92
00:03:52,233 --> 00:03:54,958
Oh, man, I saw my life flash
before my eyes.
93
00:03:54,977 --> 00:03:56,902
I've had an awesome life.
94
00:03:57,129 --> 00:03:59,112
(laughter)
95
00:04:00,966 --> 00:04:02,890
Oh, look at those smiles.
96
00:04:02,985 --> 00:04:05,802
I knew
you guys could have fun here.
97
00:04:05,895 --> 00:04:07,913
Yeah, nothing gets
the heart pumping
98
00:04:08,064 --> 00:04:10,640
like a brush with... nothing.
99
00:04:10,692 --> 00:04:12,084
(stomachs gurgling)
100
00:04:12,311 --> 00:04:14,419
Um, I don't feel so good.
101
00:04:14,646 --> 00:04:18,482
Aw. The quiet rivers
in my tummy are becoming...
102
00:04:18,575 --> 00:04:20,759
raging waters.
103
00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:22,502
Upstairs or downstairs?
104
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,553
-Both!
-Both!
105
00:04:24,914 --> 00:04:27,491
Uh, out of the water!
Out of the water!
106
00:04:27,584 --> 00:04:31,085
(sirens blaring)
107
00:04:31,105 --> 00:04:33,397
Not me this time.
108
00:04:35,759 --> 00:04:37,167
According to these tests,
109
00:04:37,336 --> 00:04:40,020
your kids' insides
and outsides have been exposed
110
00:04:40,172 --> 00:04:43,006
to a toxic mix
of 30-year-old hairspray,
111
00:04:43,099 --> 00:04:45,266
hot dog water, opossum dander,
112
00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:48,678
and a grab bag of intestinal
and skin-based parasites.
113
00:04:48,697 --> 00:04:50,180
(chuckles)
114
00:04:50,273 --> 00:04:53,350
Oh, my poor queasy babies.
115
00:04:53,368 --> 00:04:56,295
Hmm. I wonder
why Homer didn't get sick.
116
00:04:56,446 --> 00:04:58,204
He even went to work today.
117
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:01,949
-(sirens blaring)
-HOMER: Upstairs and downstairs!
118
00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:05,362
Bart and Lisa will be fine
after a little TLC.
119
00:05:05,380 --> 00:05:08,532
By TLC, I mean
"taking Lorexo-Cortisone."
120
00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:11,310
And by little, I mean
a four-week intensive regimen.
121
00:05:11,495 --> 00:05:14,888
Oh, steroids?
Are there any side effects?
122
00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:16,315
Nothing serious.
123
00:05:16,466 --> 00:05:18,525
Maybe a little
temporary weight gain.
124
00:05:21,046 --> 00:05:22,395
Hurry up, kids!
125
00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,324
You don't want to be late
for your first day of school.
126
00:05:26,218 --> 00:05:28,552
Ah, a new school year.
127
00:05:28,554 --> 00:05:30,904
Uncracked books, pink erasers,
128
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:33,314
a binder where
the rings still meet.
129
00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,316
And I get
to find out what happened
130
00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:38,170
to those praying mantis eggs
I left in Skinner's office.
131
00:05:39,731 --> 00:05:42,732
If, uh, we all agree to respect
each other's workspace,
132
00:05:42,826 --> 00:05:44,734
this, uh, year will go
just fine.
133
00:05:44,828 --> 00:05:46,428
(hissing)
134
00:05:48,423 --> 00:05:51,833
Oh, look at that belly. Mwah.
135
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:54,911
(singsongy):
Someone's getting chunky!
136
00:05:55,004 --> 00:05:56,913
(in slow motion):
Chunky.
137
00:05:57,006 --> 00:05:59,524
(distorted growling)
138
00:06:00,677 --> 00:06:02,586
♪ ♪
139
00:06:02,604 --> 00:06:04,404
(humming)
140
00:06:07,109 --> 00:06:10,702
(screaming)
141
00:06:10,929 --> 00:06:12,762
Off you go.
142
00:06:12,897 --> 00:06:15,082
Don't want to be late
for school.
143
00:06:16,359 --> 00:06:17,542
Oh.
144
00:06:22,365 --> 00:06:24,441
LISA: Okay, forget about what Mom said.
145
00:06:24,610 --> 00:06:26,033
Don't let it ruin the first day of school.
146
00:06:26,053 --> 00:06:27,611
That's the best day of the year!
147
00:06:27,704 --> 00:06:29,370
Welcome, class.
148
00:06:29,464 --> 00:06:32,057
This year, we'll be learning
lessons that will stay with you
149
00:06:32,208 --> 00:06:34,393
for the rest of your lives.
150
00:06:34,620 --> 00:06:35,952
(shrieks)
151
00:06:35,954 --> 00:06:37,562
(Lisa sighs)
152
00:06:37,714 --> 00:06:40,123
(breathing deeply)
153
00:06:40,142 --> 00:06:42,067
Calm down. It's okay.
154
00:06:42,327 --> 00:06:43,960
SKINNER: Attention, students.
155
00:06:43,979 --> 00:06:45,553
Due to budget cuts, the following
156
00:06:45,647 --> 00:06:49,056
after-school programs have been cancelled: dance chunk,
157
00:06:49,151 --> 00:06:52,059
intramural chunk-ing, and chunky chunk chunk.
158
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,912
LISA: What is going on with me?
159
00:06:54,063 --> 00:06:56,990
I'm going chunky. Aah! I mean, crazy!
160
00:06:57,142 --> 00:06:59,325
(whimpering quietly)
161
00:06:59,478 --> 00:07:01,903
Get a grip.
162
00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:04,998
-(rhythmic pulsating)
-(gasping)
163
00:07:05,150 --> 00:07:06,499
♪ Chunk-chunky, chunk ♪
164
00:07:06,652 --> 00:07:08,576
♪ Chunk, chunk! ♪
165
00:07:08,595 --> 00:07:10,503
Chunk-chunk!
166
00:07:10,597 --> 00:07:11,988
Chunky!
167
00:07:11,990 --> 00:07:12,989
(whimpers)
168
00:07:12,991 --> 00:07:14,991
Lisa is soft now.
169
00:07:15,010 --> 00:07:16,768
(screaming)
170
00:07:16,995 --> 00:07:19,162
-(sleeves rip)
-Hmm?
171
00:07:19,181 --> 00:07:21,164
Dang, Simpson.
172
00:07:21,333 --> 00:07:23,090
Have you been to Costco?
173
00:07:23,185 --> 00:07:25,426
'Cause you're carrying bulk.
174
00:07:25,446 --> 00:07:28,780
Oh, that's because
of the steroids I was taking.
175
00:07:28,932 --> 00:07:30,782
-You see, my mom...
-Steroids!
176
00:07:30,934 --> 00:07:34,010
-Nice!
-Yeah, badass!
177
00:07:34,029 --> 00:07:36,103
Like I was saying,
178
00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:38,105
I've been juicing pretty hard
all summer.
179
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,700
Had to stop
because I beat up my dad.
180
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,352
ALL:
Roid rage!
181
00:07:42,370 --> 00:07:46,206
No more hanging out with
those babies for you, Simpson.
182
00:07:46,358 --> 00:07:48,875
Today, you become a man.
183
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:50,710
What is this place?
184
00:07:50,862 --> 00:07:54,789
It used to be a padded cell
for left-handed kids.
185
00:07:54,883 --> 00:07:57,309
Welcome to the Meat Castle.
186
00:07:57,569 --> 00:07:59,436
♪ ♪
187
00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:02,722
Say goodbye to your victim bod.
188
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:06,318
Your shred-ucation begins today.
189
00:08:06,545 --> 00:08:07,969
-(heavy metal music plays)
-Yeah. Swole!
190
00:08:08,137 --> 00:08:09,546
-So swole!
-(others grunting)
191
00:08:09,564 --> 00:08:14,367
-(vocalizing)
-Swole! Swole. Swole. Swole!
192
00:08:15,329 --> 00:08:17,144
(all grunting)
193
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,146
I'm living every kid's dream--
194
00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:22,292
to be accepted
by his tormentors.
195
00:08:25,731 --> 00:08:28,748
MARGE (singsongy): Someone's getting chunky!
196
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,425
(Lisa groans)
197
00:08:33,588 --> 00:08:36,330
Oh, honey,
you seem down in the dumps.
198
00:08:36,424 --> 00:08:37,849
And I know why.
199
00:08:38,001 --> 00:08:40,001
You do? (sighs)
200
00:08:40,095 --> 00:08:42,428
Because it's really hard
to talk about when...
201
00:08:42,581 --> 00:08:45,673
Of course. I don't know
what I was thinking...
202
00:08:45,767 --> 00:08:48,935
by not taking you shopping
for back-to-school clothes.
203
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,570
Wait, wha...?
204
00:08:51,923 --> 00:08:55,016
Oh. Nothing upside downs
my frowns
205
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:56,943
like a girls' trip to the mall.
206
00:08:57,095 --> 00:08:58,820
I don't know, Mom.
207
00:08:58,872 --> 00:09:00,613
I'm just not feeling it.
208
00:09:00,766 --> 00:09:01,948
Mm.
209
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:05,293
(gasps)
Can I get it? Can I get it?
210
00:09:06,271 --> 00:09:08,421
(squeals excitedly)
211
00:09:10,792 --> 00:09:13,701
Hmm. I'm not sure that's a fit.
212
00:09:14,704 --> 00:09:17,538
Are you positive
that's the eight-year-old size?
213
00:09:17,632 --> 00:09:19,449
Oh, super pos.
214
00:09:19,467 --> 00:09:21,467
Let's upsize her to a ten short.
215
00:09:21,620 --> 00:09:23,210
-(static)
-Get me some tens
out here, Derek.
216
00:09:23,230 --> 00:09:25,713
The eights are a freaking
disaster on this kid!
217
00:09:25,807 --> 00:09:28,308
Forget it, Mom. Let's just go.
218
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,642
Nuh-uh.
219
00:09:29,795 --> 00:09:31,127
We're not leaving this mall
220
00:09:31,146 --> 00:09:34,480
until we find you
a really fun ensemble.
221
00:09:34,633 --> 00:09:36,408
(Lisa groans)
222
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,225
That is so the look.
223
00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,637
Yes, I think that is the look.
224
00:09:40,655 --> 00:09:42,914
Mom, it's too big!
225
00:09:43,066 --> 00:09:44,490
No, it's not.
226
00:09:44,643 --> 00:09:47,127
It's very flattering.
227
00:09:53,819 --> 00:09:55,501
It's not your job
228
00:09:55,654 --> 00:09:58,930
to constantly comment
on my appearance!
229
00:09:59,157 --> 00:10:01,825
But, honey, I could never
pull that off.
230
00:10:01,843 --> 00:10:04,327
On you, it's so eye-catching.
231
00:10:04,420 --> 00:10:06,830
Oh, you are slaying those tens.
232
00:10:06,998 --> 00:10:09,608
Do you really think I want
to call attention to myself?!
233
00:10:09,759 --> 00:10:11,610
Ugh! Get this thing off of me!
234
00:10:11,761 --> 00:10:13,336
(Lisa muttering)
235
00:10:13,429 --> 00:10:16,197
Okay, why don't you give these
a try?
236
00:10:17,025 --> 00:10:18,099
LISA:
No!
237
00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:20,176
(Lisa grunting)
238
00:10:20,195 --> 00:10:23,437
Um, let's take
a little fro-yo break.
239
00:10:23,531 --> 00:10:26,199
You can't fix everything
with fro-yo!
240
00:10:26,351 --> 00:10:30,019
(laughs)
That's what you acted like
before the medicine.
241
00:10:30,021 --> 00:10:33,131
Young lady, in this family, we
put clothing back on the hanger
242
00:10:33,358 --> 00:10:35,616
so the salesperson will think
we're classy!
243
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:37,952
Why are you acting
like such a cranky pants?
244
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,121
Stop talking
to me about clothes!
245
00:10:40,215 --> 00:10:42,807
How's everything going in here?
I brought twelves.
246
00:10:42,959 --> 00:10:44,884
Do we need more twelves in here?
247
00:10:45,036 --> 00:10:49,205
This mall is an assault
on human dignity!
248
00:10:49,224 --> 00:10:52,317
I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!
I hate it! I hate it!
249
00:10:52,468 --> 00:10:55,654
-(shouting gibberish)
-(Marge groaning)
250
00:10:57,232 --> 00:10:59,157
If they ask
who helped you today,
251
00:10:59,234 --> 00:11:02,160
remember, I'm Shauna.
252
00:11:03,238 --> 00:11:04,888
They don't respect you
253
00:11:04,906 --> 00:11:07,724
unless you insult them
just a little bit.
254
00:11:07,742 --> 00:11:09,834
-Girls?
-Cops.
255
00:11:09,944 --> 00:11:11,503
-For real.
-Yeah. Def. Yeah.
256
00:11:11,654 --> 00:11:15,173
Oh, look who got a visit
from the pube fairy.
257
00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,233
Dude, those aren't pubes.
258
00:11:17,326 --> 00:11:20,512
Yeah-huh.
Everything new is a pube.
259
00:11:20,588 --> 00:11:23,682
So, Simpson, you got your eyes
on any ladies?
260
00:11:23,833 --> 00:11:26,926
Uh, yeah, I'm talking to
a couple dozen honeys right now.
261
00:11:27,020 --> 00:11:28,502
I'm in love with most of 'em,
262
00:11:28,522 --> 00:11:31,581
but right now, I want
to keep my focus on the gym.
263
00:11:31,599 --> 00:11:34,600
-(timer dings)
-Pizza rolls are hot!
264
00:11:34,753 --> 00:11:36,269
Uh, what about our reps?
265
00:11:36,421 --> 00:11:38,012
There's plenty of time
for that...
266
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,756
after a weight fight!
267
00:11:39,849 --> 00:11:42,158
(grunting, laughing)
268
00:11:43,686 --> 00:11:44,869
(grunting continues)
269
00:11:45,096 --> 00:11:47,664
Working out is awesome!
270
00:11:50,101 --> 00:11:54,045
We don't slam doors
in this house! (groans)
271
00:11:54,197 --> 00:11:56,363
(rhythmic grunting)
272
00:11:56,458 --> 00:11:57,882
(Homer whimpers)
273
00:11:58,034 --> 00:12:00,777
So, uh, how was the mall?
274
00:12:00,795 --> 00:12:05,131
Apparently, I'm the worst mother
in the world for being nice.
275
00:12:05,283 --> 00:12:08,893
Lisa had a huge tantrum in
front of the cell phone jewelry.
276
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,621
I've asked her a hundred times
what the problem is,
277
00:12:11,639 --> 00:12:13,064
and she won't tell me.
278
00:12:13,216 --> 00:12:14,807
Can you talk to her?
279
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:16,401
Of course, honey.
280
00:12:16,478 --> 00:12:19,553
Time for me to earn
my "World's Greatest Dad" mug.
281
00:12:19,647 --> 00:12:22,298
You bought that for yourself
in the hospital gift shop
282
00:12:22,391 --> 00:12:24,133
while I was giving birth.
283
00:12:24,152 --> 00:12:27,662
We both left with something
special that day.
284
00:12:28,731 --> 00:12:29,581
(Homer moans softly)
285
00:12:29,808 --> 00:12:30,807
Honey,
286
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:31,991
if something's bothering you,
287
00:12:32,085 --> 00:12:32,917
you got to let it out.
288
00:12:33,144 --> 00:12:34,660
Like swallowed burps,
289
00:12:34,813 --> 00:12:37,647
buried feelings can burst out
at the worst possible...
290
00:12:37,740 --> 00:12:39,148
(burps)
291
00:12:39,167 --> 00:12:41,092
Mom called me "chunky."
292
00:12:42,670 --> 00:12:44,504
HOMER: Oh, my God.
293
00:12:44,656 --> 00:12:47,991
Marge did the one thing noparent is ever supposed to do--
294
00:12:48,009 --> 00:12:50,343
acknowledge what their children look like!
295
00:12:50,495 --> 00:12:52,604
Oh, what do I say to make it better?
296
00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:55,273
I know. I'll tell her Marge isn't her real mother,
297
00:12:55,424 --> 00:12:57,442
and Lisa and I should pack up and leave forever.
298
00:12:57,593 --> 00:13:00,336
No, something about that feels wrong.
299
00:13:00,429 --> 00:13:03,281
Hmm, I must use an entire lifetime
300
00:13:03,432 --> 00:13:05,950
of fatherly knowledge to help my daughter.
301
00:13:06,102 --> 00:13:08,011
(clears throat)
302
00:13:08,029 --> 00:13:11,197
Buying versus leasing--
pros and cons.
303
00:13:11,366 --> 00:13:14,108
How many miles do you think
you'll be driving a year?
304
00:13:14,202 --> 00:13:15,460
Thanks for trying, Dad.
305
00:13:15,611 --> 00:13:17,796
That is what
you were doing, right?
306
00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:19,188
Yes.
307
00:13:19,357 --> 00:13:21,691
I can't expect you
to understand my problem.
308
00:13:21,709 --> 00:13:25,695
I just wish I didn't care
what people think.
309
00:13:25,713 --> 00:13:28,364
Honey, if you didn't care,
you wouldn't be human.
310
00:13:28,457 --> 00:13:32,718
(gasps)
Not human, I say.
311
00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:34,554
Here we are.
312
00:13:34,648 --> 00:13:37,223
When you called for help,
I was hoping you needed someone
313
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:39,967
to spell-check
your suicide note.
314
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:42,211
And just so we're clear,
you dented cue ball,
315
00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:44,047
we're not doing this for you.
316
00:13:44,065 --> 00:13:46,157
We're here for Lisa.
317
00:13:46,309 --> 00:13:49,160
Hey, look who stopped by!
318
00:13:49,312 --> 00:13:52,813
How would you like to go on
a completely spontaneous outing
319
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:54,574
with your aunts?
320
00:13:54,668 --> 00:13:57,836
-Uh...
-In our world, that's a "yes."
321
00:13:58,063 --> 00:14:00,413
We heard what your mother said.
Not cool.
322
00:14:00,565 --> 00:14:04,491
We only use "chunky"
to describe jewelry and stew.
323
00:14:04,569 --> 00:14:08,012
And since we've had stew
for breakfast...
324
00:14:08,239 --> 00:14:09,589
(gasps)
325
00:14:09,757 --> 00:14:12,851
Kid, your Aunt Selma and I have
been called every mean name
326
00:14:13,078 --> 00:14:14,410
in the book.
327
00:14:14,429 --> 00:14:17,413
You just got
to let it roll off your back.
328
00:14:17,432 --> 00:14:18,764
But how?
329
00:14:18,933 --> 00:14:20,674
♪ When the world ♪
330
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:23,528
♪ Hurts your feelings ♪
331
00:14:23,755 --> 00:14:28,349
♪ And on certain words you tend to dwell ♪
332
00:14:28,443 --> 00:14:33,204
♪ Then live life like your aunties ♪
333
00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:36,690
♪ And tell the jerks to go to hell ♪
334
00:14:36,784 --> 00:14:41,212
♪ This is the dawning of the age of who gives a crap ♪
335
00:14:41,439 --> 00:14:44,382
♪ The age of who gives a crap ♪
336
00:14:44,533 --> 00:14:45,958
(all groaning)
337
00:14:46,127 --> 00:14:50,796
-♪ Who gives a crap ♪
-(neighs)
338
00:14:50,965 --> 00:14:55,560
♪ Who gives a crap... ♪
339
00:14:55,711 --> 00:14:58,229
♪ Muffin tops, jowls and crow's feet ♪
340
00:14:58,456 --> 00:15:01,124
♪ Droopy boobs and no thigh gap ♪
341
00:15:01,142 --> 00:15:02,975
♪ Chicken skin and body odor ♪
342
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,386
♪ Chin hairs that need some trimmin' ♪
343
00:15:05,554 --> 00:15:07,663
♪ All these things that's wrong with women ♪
344
00:15:07,723 --> 00:15:10,891
♪ It's all good, just go on livin' ♪
345
00:15:10,985 --> 00:15:15,838
♪ Who gives a crap... ♪
346
00:15:15,898 --> 00:15:20,810
♪ Who gives a crap? ♪
347
00:15:20,828 --> 00:15:22,921
(people groaning)
348
00:15:23,148 --> 00:15:25,131
(humming "Let the Sunshine In")
349
00:15:27,928 --> 00:15:31,245
Lisa, your dad told me
why you've been upset.
350
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:34,340
I'm so sorry for what I said.
351
00:15:34,492 --> 00:15:37,827
It was a mistake,
and I feel terrible.
352
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:39,662
Thanks, Mom,
but spending the afternoon
353
00:15:39,681 --> 00:15:42,515
with Aunt Patty and Selma
made me feel a lot better
354
00:15:42,667 --> 00:15:44,091
about myself.
355
00:15:44,169 --> 00:15:46,945
And also, a lot worse
about everyone else.
356
00:15:47,096 --> 00:15:50,173
Mm. Why couldn't I just
keep my mouth shut?
357
00:15:50,191 --> 00:15:53,117
After all, now
that you're off the steroids,
358
00:15:53,269 --> 00:15:55,178
soon you'll be back to normal.
359
00:15:55,196 --> 00:15:57,789
And you'll be my perfect
little girl again.
360
00:15:58,016 --> 00:16:00,249
So, we all better now?
361
00:16:08,026 --> 00:16:11,552
(screaming)
362
00:16:16,217 --> 00:16:17,809
Ooh, how about this one?
363
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:19,477
It has a lot of notes.
364
00:16:19,628 --> 00:16:21,128
I know you like those.
365
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,147
Don't pretend
you know what I like.
366
00:16:23,299 --> 00:16:26,484
Oh, can you just tell me
why we're back to glowering?!
367
00:16:26,635 --> 00:16:28,319
-Huh?
-Marge,
368
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,322
I know all about the rough patch
you're having with Lisa.
369
00:16:31,474 --> 00:16:34,659
I went through the exact same
thing with Milhouse. (laughs)
370
00:16:34,810 --> 00:16:36,719
We're so similar, you and I.
371
00:16:36,738 --> 00:16:38,070
Are we, though?
372
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:40,906
Look, I don't just give
this name to everybody.
373
00:16:41,059 --> 00:16:43,893
Just my best girlfriends.
374
00:16:43,986 --> 00:16:45,486
MARGE:
Hmm.
375
00:16:45,580 --> 00:16:46,987
Hypnotherapy?
376
00:16:47,081 --> 00:16:49,565
Isn't that a little... woo-woo?
377
00:16:49,658 --> 00:16:51,567
Dr. Sage is amazing.
378
00:16:51,586 --> 00:16:54,904
We went in not speaking,
and after one session,
379
00:16:54,997 --> 00:16:57,907
-we're back in the tub together!
-Mm.
380
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,184
-(Lisa blowing notes)
-(gasps)
381
00:17:01,929 --> 00:17:03,563
(sighs):
Oh.
382
00:17:04,766 --> 00:17:06,173
What's up, workout bros?
383
00:17:06,192 --> 00:17:09,769
Who wants toaster strudel?
Extra glaze packets!
384
00:17:09,863 --> 00:17:11,821
-Hmm?
-(giggling)
385
00:17:13,258 --> 00:17:15,516
(gasps)
Guys, look out!
There's girls in here.
386
00:17:15,535 --> 00:17:18,110
They're called girlfriends,
baby dork.
387
00:17:18,263 --> 00:17:20,780
Well, Jimbo and Flor
haven't made it official,
388
00:17:20,932 --> 00:17:22,540
but we're all hopeful.
389
00:17:22,767 --> 00:17:24,116
BOTH:
We don't do labels!
390
00:17:24,269 --> 00:17:26,269
But-but I thought
we came here to work out
391
00:17:26,287 --> 00:17:29,047
and-and microwave golf balls
and talk about girls,
392
00:17:29,198 --> 00:17:30,381
but not real ones!
393
00:17:30,533 --> 00:17:34,034
(crying)
I thought we were big boys!
394
00:17:34,054 --> 00:17:36,679
(all moaning, laughing)
395
00:17:39,375 --> 00:17:41,601
♪ ♪
396
00:17:44,472 --> 00:17:47,881
BART: So dawn bros down to day.
397
00:17:47,975 --> 00:17:51,194
Nothing swole can stay.
398
00:17:59,079 --> 00:18:02,805
Marge, Lisa, today,
we'll be using hypnotherapy
399
00:18:02,807 --> 00:18:04,824
as a tool that builds empathy
400
00:18:04,976 --> 00:18:08,811
by exploring the landscapes
of each other's minds.
401
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:11,163
I'm sorry. I just find it
a little hard to believe
402
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,332
that everything's going
to be solved just because
403
00:18:13,484 --> 00:18:16,243
you swing a gold pocket watch
in front of my face.
404
00:18:16,337 --> 00:18:18,912
(laughs) Oh, hypnotism
has come a long way
405
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,431
since pocket watches.
406
00:18:20,658 --> 00:18:24,727
Now, look into Dr. Mysterio's
Mesmerific Hypnowheel.
407
00:18:25,754 --> 00:18:28,831
♪ ♪
408
00:18:28,924 --> 00:18:31,484
BOTH:
Spinny thing.
409
00:18:34,096 --> 00:18:35,780
Where are we?
410
00:18:35,931 --> 00:18:37,764
We're in my mind,
411
00:18:37,842 --> 00:18:41,360
and I thought this woman was
a total quack. (laughs)
412
00:18:41,512 --> 00:18:43,604
DR. SAGE:
I can hear everything
you're saying.
413
00:18:43,698 --> 00:18:45,030
Sorry.
414
00:18:45,183 --> 00:18:46,682
It's so nice here.
415
00:18:46,701 --> 00:18:49,368
I feel like
I should take my shoes off.
416
00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,779
There's a Zen garden,
a waterfall.
417
00:18:52,907 --> 00:18:54,298
(screams)
418
00:18:54,525 --> 00:18:55,782
Chunky!
419
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:58,302
And it's taking up
so much space!
420
00:18:58,454 --> 00:19:01,380
Look what it's done
to the Powerpuff Girls.
421
00:19:01,532 --> 00:19:03,307
(whimpering)
422
00:19:03,534 --> 00:19:06,051
What if I never get "Chunky"
out of my head?
423
00:19:06,204 --> 00:19:08,704
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.
424
00:19:08,723 --> 00:19:11,816
If I put it there,
then I'm going to get it out.
425
00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:15,111
(grunting)
426
00:19:15,897 --> 00:19:17,655
(moans)
Oh.
427
00:19:17,732 --> 00:19:21,567
I never realized
how much power my words have.
428
00:19:21,719 --> 00:19:24,553
Now that you've explored
Lisa's subconscious,
429
00:19:24,555 --> 00:19:27,556
perhaps we should travel
to Marge's.
430
00:19:27,650 --> 00:19:29,691
I have one of those?
431
00:19:29,693 --> 00:19:31,652
My old bedroom.
432
00:19:31,671 --> 00:19:33,987
This must be one of my memories.
433
00:19:35,066 --> 00:19:37,875
Mom, what do you think
of my new haircut?
434
00:19:38,102 --> 00:19:39,493
It's nice, but I do think
435
00:19:39,512 --> 00:19:43,264
longer hair complements
your plain features.
436
00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:48,411
"Plain." Oh, my God.
437
00:19:48,579 --> 00:19:52,081
I don't remember her saying
that, but now I know why
438
00:19:52,099 --> 00:19:55,008
it's been in my head
every waking minute.
439
00:19:55,102 --> 00:19:56,569
(cries, sniffles)
440
00:19:58,923 --> 00:20:03,426
Oh, Lisa, now I know
exactly how I made you feel.
441
00:20:03,444 --> 00:20:06,537
Now I know exactly how you felt.
442
00:20:06,689 --> 00:20:08,664
BOTH:
I love you!
443
00:20:13,046 --> 00:20:15,713
I love both of you!
444
00:20:15,864 --> 00:20:17,215
I guess the hurtful things
445
00:20:17,291 --> 00:20:20,459
your mother says to you
never totally disappear.
446
00:20:20,628 --> 00:20:23,370
Maybe they don't,
but I really believe
447
00:20:23,464 --> 00:20:25,281
that if you're aware of them,
448
00:20:25,299 --> 00:20:28,801
those words will lose
their power over you...
449
00:20:28,953 --> 00:20:33,973
very, very, very slowly.
450
00:20:34,067 --> 00:20:35,641
If at all.
451
00:20:35,793 --> 00:20:37,693
But probably not.
452
00:20:49,657 --> 00:20:51,249
I wonder if everyone has words
453
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:53,542
from their childhood stuck
inside their heads.
454
00:21:08,175 --> 00:21:11,435
(snoring)
Ah, lazy.
455
00:21:11,587 --> 00:21:15,606
Captioning sponsored by
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456
00:21:15,799 --> 00:21:19,443
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
457
00:21:19,595 --> 00:21:23,447
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
458
00:21:23,524 --> 00:21:27,618
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
459
00:21:28,604 --> 00:21:30,162
Shh!
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