All language subtitles for New.Amsterdam.2018.S04E06.Laughter and Hope and a sock in the.Eye.WEBRip.x264 - 4254 - m

One triangle cut
turkey sandwich,

no crust coming right up.

It's important.

Strong and black
like your woman.

Do not distract me
from apples.

Peeled apples, that's key.

Bread here is going to go on
both sides on the sandwich.

OJ in the blue cuppie.
And I got a problem.

- What?
- I'm out of sun butter.

Do you happen
to have any soy nut,

- almond, oats, anything?
- I do not.

Da-da?

Would you do me
a favor and just...

Just do her lunch real quick?
I'll be right back.

Wait. Her lunch?
Yes, yes, of course.

Wait, her lunch?
I don't...

Blue...
blue cuppie.

Come on!

Ugh!

Ooh!

Ooh, no... oh, no!

*NEW AMSTERDAM (2018)*
Season 04 Episode 06

Episode Title: "Laughter and Hope
and a Sock in the Eye"

Aired on:
October 26, 2021.

Are you trying
to ruin your life?

All I did was suggest coffee.

With a super-hot
French street artist,

who, on at least one occasion,

- you actually...
- Oh, no, no.

Bloom, we were
in a relationship,

and I... cannot believe
I told you that.

Well, I guess I just have
one of those faces

where people want
to tell me things.

Look, I acknowledge
how kinetic it was between us.

Like this delicious feeling
of butterflies all over my skin

whenever he was even
remotely close to me.

But we've both moved on.

It's just... it's gonna be nice
to catch up.

Over a quick cup of coffee.

Yeah,
over a quick cup of coffee.

Okay, look, I get it.

In three weeks, your whole life
is gonna be different.

It is completely natural
to have a total breakdown

- right about now.
- It's only a bit of fun.

Besides, he hasn't
even texted back.

He... he might not.

You know he will.

And if you're honest,
you kinda want him to.

Look, for your own emotional
safety, across the board,

the best thing to do
is bail, okay?

Is that him?

Helen?

Sandra Fall.

My tenacity knows no bounds.
I will catch up with you.

Um, I know you're not
a political person,

but non-politically,
you're on my team.

- So where is she?
- Who?

The monster who gave me this
"to don't" list to stop me

from doing anything remotely
helpful for this hospital.

Veronica's at
some conference.

Wait, wait,
she's... she's not here?

Mm-hm, and she just
wanted to make sure

- you don't do anything...
- Dr. Kao?

Stupid. I tried.

Did you still need approval
to change those

intake protocols
for dementia patients?

Dr. Fuentes said if I wanted
a yes, I'd have to wait.

That's funny because
I'm saying yes right now.

- Really?
- Oh, yes.

It's pretty expensive.

Day of yes, Agnes.
Day of yes.

Did you ask Dr. Fuentes
for 12 new fetal monitors?

I did,
but I haven't heard back yet.

Well, you're hearing back
right now

and the answer is yes.

I can't believe you took
the time to read my memo

about compensation
for the night shift workers.

I don't even work
the night shift

but I just felt moved
to, like, you know...

Larry, Larry,
to every single word

of your 42 page memo,
I say yes.

Hand massages
for chemo patients.

Yes.

Meditation in the atrium.

- Yes.
- Sweet.

Casual, wait for it, Mondays.

Yes.

Bring your cat to work day.

Yes.

Honestly? Sleep pods.

Yes to all of it.

Remind me what patient
this is about?

Uh, it's not about a patient.

Oh. Um,
what's up?

As you know, I've been, uh...

I've been seeing someone.

Uh...

Ah.

- I...
- No, I... I'm...

It's...

- Sometime...
- No, really.

- It's, I... I...
- Well...

I gotta...

That went well, right?

65 year old male
with stage four Parkinson's.

Fell on the sidewalk.
Head laceration.

- Is he cognizant?
- Unfortunately.

Okay, bay 24.

Okay, Mr. Rayburn,

what can you tell me
about your fall?

Nearly stuck the landing.

Coach said I still
qualify for nationals.

Okay.

And what's the last thing
you remember on impact?

Falling.

Okay.
Don't you have paperwork?

- Thank you.
- On it.

- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

This is going well.

Dr. Bloom doesn't laugh.

Give it to me straight,

but not in a way that's
gonna make me freak out.

Okay, Mr. Rayburn, what
concerns me isn't your head,

but why a man
with stage four Parkinson's

is walking alone in the city
without a caregiver.

Oh, I have a caregiver.

Where is he?

And help has arrived.

It's real close!

Wait for it.

Gonna totally be worth it.

Anybody see a curly haired guy

with blood gushing
out of his face?

Oh, there you are.

Be right there.
I get paid by the hour.

If you walked any slower
you'd be dead.

I'm coming.
Stop rushing me.

Everybody's so serious
in here.

Kit Vale.

I've got it from here,
Your Honor.

He takes care of you?

- Not by choice.
- Oh, okay.

What took you so long?

I waited for your jokes
to land.

That's cruel.
And in public too.

Am I getting punked?

That's all, folks.

- Gladys, I'm using the door.
- I was just notified

Shane Lewis
missed art therapy.

Uh, okay, well then,
go get him.

- No one knows where he is.
- He lives here.

He lives... Shane lives
in the hospital.

Yeah.

Security wouldn't
just let a patient

with borderline personality
disorder leave.

Check-in.

Check-in!

Check-in.

Sorry.

Check-in.

Oh, geez. Oh, uh...

- Oh, God!
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.

- Shut the door. Hah.
- Ooh.

At least he's still
in the building.

Helen.

Why didn't you tell me?

Breathtaking even
when you're breathless.

How could you
not tell me?

What?
What you want me to say?

"I have stage three
pancreatic cancer

and it's kicking my ass?"

It's been eight years
since I've seen you,

much less talked to you.

I didn't want to bother you.

You could never bother me.

This is the last time,
all right?

I promise.

Please don't talk
like it's already over.

Hey, Doc.

Will you tell her
for me, please?

Scar tissue from
the radiation

is tying together the spleen,
liver, and small intestine.

The tumor is wrapped
around his aorta

and his superior
mesenteric arteries.

I'm sorry, but it is
my opinion that surgery

isn't worth the risk.

If it's not impossible,

then it is worth the risk.

Helen.

We'd have to find

the best surgical oncologist
in the world.

I think
Max just met her.

Thank you
for coming so quickly.

Thank you for granting me
surgical privileges.

All right, this hallway's
a little shorter

than we're used to,
so I'm gonna talk fast.

Your patient's tumor
is unresectable

because it spread
to the hepatic hilum,

and it envelops
the hepatoduodenal ligament

and all surrounding structures.

The portal vein is compressed

and the superior
mesenteric vein.

Okay, so he's not
even a candidate

for Whipple surgery,
and yet here you are

with your entire
surgical team, why?

Multivisceral
ex-vivo surgery.

It's curative,
but extremely rare.

Takes at least 20 hours,

requires subbing
in a second team,

has a low survival rate

and will cost your hospital
around $2 million.

But before you say no,

know that it is your patient's
only viable option.

Yes.

Yes, you are aware of that?

Yes to the ex-vivo.

The medical director
of my hospital

would never allow that.

I can't think of any who would.

Well, you caught me
on my day of yes.

So, uh, we're doing this.

So how are you gonna resect
a tumor this pervasive?

Oh, I'm gonna remove

all the patient's
abdominal organs,

carve out the cancer and shove
whatever looks good back in.

Mm!

Did she really just say that?

Yes, she did.

Senn retractor.

How can she even see
without loops?

Some people born Deaf
are more sensitive to light

and motion in their periphery.

I know she's got her team
to back her but

no loops, no cochlear implant.

Not to sound ableist,
but, damn.

Well, I think
they would agree with you.

Do you see this, Helen?

Yes.

Yeah, it's, uh...

It's incredible.

Pushing lidocaine.

Administering lido.

Scissors.

Does Helen seem
a little off to you?

Tumor isolated.

Dr. Goodwin, Dr. Reynolds.

Ready for en bloc resection.

Here we go.

Okay, so...

that is not something
that I anticipated seeing.

Ever, really.

Then next time,
remember to knock.

Noted.

Guys, you know
the rules, right?

Anyone living on the ward
is prohibited from having sex.

- That's it.
- Why?

To protect people.

To protect people
from being abused,

taken advantage of,
many reasons.

Dr. Frome, we've been
in a committed relationship

for over six months.

We don't need to be
protected from each other.

We're in love.

Okay.

Um, well, I'm a fan of love,
you know.

Guilty as charged, but...

you guys were both admitted
under conservatorship.

Your families have
very real concerns about you

being able to make healthy
decisions for yourselves.

We know that love

isn't gonna make
mental disorders go away.

- Mm-hmm.
- But I've been treated

for borderline personality
since I was 18.

And this is the best
I've ever felt.

What if Felicity
gets pregnant?

I've been taking
birth control

to regulate my mood swings
for a decade.

Now, I just have a less
depressing reason to take it.

We're consenting adults.

We're in love.

And when we get out of here,
we want to get married.

What's the problem?

If he were any faster,

I bet that'd be distracting.

Hey, how much longer
is this going to take?

Spoken with the empathy and
compassion of a true caregiver.

He was a little nicer
before his massive stroke,

but not much.

Hey, it's against the law
to reveal

my private medical information.

Kit, listen to me.

As your partner, sit down.

Your left side
looks like it's melting.

Uh, I can have
a chair brought in.

I'm fine.

At least I've got a good side.

You left half of your face
on Madison Avenue.

So how long have you two
been a couple for?

Wait, you think this man

represents
my romantic potential?

Wherever my dead wife is,

- I'm sure she's throwing up.
- Comedy partners.

Who share a lovely

three-story brownstone
on the East 70s.

Yeah, that doesn't make it
sound like

we're a couple at all.

This story gets harder
and harder to explain.

Bob's on one,
I'm on three.

Back when we had jobs,
our office was in the middle.

What did you two write?

Every single
late night show between '94

and when Bob ruined everything.

We were getting sympathy gigs
left and right

until your stroke made us
too depressing to hire.

I'm the one
who's still vertical.

Mr. Rayburn's rundown.

She's mad at you because
you said she didn't laugh.

She doesn't.

Bob, uh, good news,
you don't have a brain bleed.

Great, wonderful.
So we can go.

Uh, no.
No, let's get Mr. Vale

- a bed and an IV drip.
- What? Why?

Because if that bed
wasn't there,

you'd be
on the floor right now.

I am keeping you both
in for the night.

You're in on this,
aren't you, you son of a bitch?

Shut up.

Time check on
those ureters?

- Clamping now.
- Talk to me.

Profusion temps are a go.

PTT still within
normal range.

All right,
hepatics are clamped.

ACT is 418, so heparin is in.

Dr. Reynolds, you ready
to go on a three foot trip?

Let's do this.

Grab your portion.

Three, two, one.

Going on pump.

Distally and proximally,
please.

...on the tray.

Get a clean one.

Back table
ready for reception.

Excellent hemostasis.

Organs are fully functioning.

Ready to move to OR 2.

We are outie 5,000.

He's coding.

- Aivers, push one amp epi.
- No, you need to push bicarb.

- Helen...
- He's not gonna make it.

- Push magnesium!
- Dr. Sharpe.

It's their job to keep
the body alive, not yours.

You're with me.

Place retractor.

Maintaining.

He's got no pulse.

We need a defib.

Paddles are charged.

Clear.

No pulse, go again.

Clear.

I got a pulse.

Normal sinus rhythm.

What was that about?
With Helen?

Does she know him?

Yeah, they dated
when I first got here

for a couple of years.

Oh.

Dr. Reynolds,
Dr. Wilder needs you in OR 2.

I'm good.

I lost the stomach.
Fell apart while I was in

the lower esophageal junction.

It needs a full reconstruction
by the time we reinsert

or I'll have
to close without it.

Hey, is... is there
a reason you think

he might not live
without a stomach?

Yes, it's looking like

he's not gonna have
a small intestine.

Can I get a monocryl
and a tapered needle?

- You're getting perforation.
- Yeah.

Let me try anchoring this flap.

- Damn it.
- It's tissue paper.

I still need a stomach.

Then you're gonna
need to make one.

All right,
switching over to plan B.

A piggyback jejunal
interposition reconstruction.

Now, not only
is this complicated,

but we're gonna have
to do it twice as fast.

So hands up if
you've done it before.

Any thoughts?

Well, the procedure
I assisted on

was led by Dr. Baptiste.

He executed it flawlessly

and I believe
he's in the building.

Okay.

Someone page Dr. Baptiste.

I need him down here STAT.

Squeeze it.

- Hmm.
- Kit.

We can't do the squeeze test
unless you squeeze it.

I can live with that.

Who'd you say is watching Bob
while you're here?

You know, I'll tell you what?
You give it a squeeze,

- I'll go find out for you.
- Not cutting a deal.

Okay, you want to
play it like that?

Can you close the curtain
for me, please?

Thank you.

Easy, nurse Ratchet.
You're mean.

Hm, I'm just glancing over
your physical therapy records

and it seems that
you skipped over half

of your PT appointments
at the clinic this month alone.

I think we both know how
you'd do on the squeeze test.

You got me.

My squeeze scores probably
are lower because instead of

going to the most
depressing gym in the world,

I'm working my muscles out

following a slightly less
depressing program

called caring for Bob.

And how does that work?

I cook his meals,

help him bathe,
brush his teeth.

I'm even hitting way back
there, extra-credit muscles

when I fake laugh
at his horrible jokes.

How do you get the toothpaste
out of the tube?

So I kind of wedge the tube
on a stack of books

and then just sort
of lean on it.

That's not PT, Kit.

That's a workaround, okay?

Shortcuts might help you now

but in the long run,
they're hurting you.

Okay, well,
I am gonna recommend

that Bob move
to an assisted living facility.

You think
I haven't tried that?

I suggest that
at least once a week

and the wave of insults
I'm hit with are so specific

I insist you let me
watch you try to do it.

Go ahead, try.
I want to see it.

Come on, you go ahead.
Go ahead, it'll be fun.

Shane and Felicity
have both asked

that we get together
to discuss

in hopes that we can all
move forward together.

- I don't understand.
- Let him finish, Dad.

Yeah, so normally,
I don't support

any kind of relationship while
two patients are in treatment.

Sex.

They're having sex.
Just say it.

Yes, they are...
They're having sex.

And it's hard for me
to discount, in this case,

that they have made
tremendous strides

since they started dating
each other in here.

In fact,
if you look at the files...

How can we trust
you're not gonna

hurt yourself again if it ends?

Mom, I love him.
Can you just listen?

Yeah, if we can all
just listen here.

Our son has borderline
personality disorder.

I mean, we don't know
what he's capable of.

- What the hell does that mean?
- It's not Shane's fault.

Okay, everyone, please.
Everyone sit down.

No, this is obviously not
the right place for Felicity.

This is the right place
for me.

Tell them it's
the right place for me.

She can't be in here.

Breaking up is hard enough

on people
without mental problems.

We're not breaking up!
Who says we're breaking up?

You forced me to get in here

and now you want to force
every move that I make?

- Guys...
- Clearly, this was a mistake.

- Get off of me!
- We're taking you out of here.

Go get help.

Just get back! Just back up!

- All right.
- God!

No, no, no, no, no, no.

- Shane! Shane, don't...
- Okay.

Stop, stop, stop.

Just... everyone back up
a little bit.

Back up, please.
Back up a little bit, please.

Retractor.

More pressure
on the leading edge.

- Claud, I...
- Can the jejunal stump

support an anastomosis?

- I believe so.
- Then clamp it.

Should I put on
your playlist, Dr. Reynolds?

No.

Fresh kits to tray one.

Preservation clock
is eight hours plus.

Cleanup on aisle five.

And the pancreas is clear.

All right,
let's get Team 2 in here

before we move
on the gallbladder.

Team 1, thank you.

Really amazing work, guys.
Thank you.

You should sleep.

No, I am good. Thank you.

#7 scalpel.

This liver is
remarkably healthy

given how much the person
it belongs to used to drink.

Do tell.

I like being reminded
of the patient's humanity.

Um...

Guillaume was...

is... wild.

You know where he took me
on our third date?

Cuba.

It was completely illegal,

but Guillaume always
knew someone who knew someone

and suddenly, there we were,

sneaking off
a merchant marine boat.

Not 20 minutes later,
we were in a beach bar,

challenging locals
to drinking games.

We lost.

Then we wound up on a beach
near a mangrove forest

watching the sun come up
over the Caribbean.

Doesn't sound like
you lost to me.

That was us.
We never...

We never thought about things,
we just...

We just did them.

Fearlessly.

Seems like you miss that.

Max, I'm sorry.

- For what?
- You know.

I mean, you asked about
Helen and Guillaume's past

but people don't
always wanna know

what they think
they wanna know.

Oh, no, it's all good.

I'm just processing.

Of course, if the
situation was more normal,

she probably would've
said something.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

You know, besides,
we're not in high school.

It'd be weird if we didn't
have a past, right?

I don't know.

I mean, you know this guy,

all our friends know this guy.

I've never even heard his name.

I'd give you the edge.

All of your organs
are in the same room.

- It's not about jealousy.
- No?

It's like moving
into a new house

and you discover this basement

that you didn't even know
was there.

On one hand, you know,
it's exciting.

But on the other hand,

why didn't the real estate guy
tell me about this?

What's down there?

You know, if you ever
look up Guillaume's art,

you'll see
it's pretty far out there.

And Helen was always
telling us stories about

how she helped him
do crazy things.

Crazy things like what?

Like slapping a mural on the
side of the Tri-State bridge.

- That mural?
- Mm-hmm?

The one that's over
the 50-foot drop to nothing?

Yeah, like someone
painted a cliff.

- The resection is done.
- We're coming in.

- Wilder is scrubbing.
- Thank you.

Are you telling me that
while Guillaume was

dangling over a river and
painting in the face of death,

Helen was holding the rope?

I'm telling you that
Guillaume held the rope.

Bob?

Still here.

Just relaxing
in an electric bed

in a germ-free room,

taking in
the comforting hum of machines

that won't let me die.

Cool.

I just wanted
to make sure you're okay.

A smile.

I knew Casey was wrong.

He said you didn't laugh.

Honestly,
I think humor is overrated.

I much rather have
a good meal or great sex

than have someone
try to make me giggle.

Well, with a good laugh,

if it's done well

and with the right person,

it changes everything.

But you didn't come here
to discuss laughter.

No.

No, I didn't.

Look, I know you're not
gonna want to hear this,

but you need 24 hour care

from an assisted living
facility.

Look, come on.

You can yell at me
all you want.

It is time, okay?

You think I don't know that?

I slept like a baby last night.

I'd love nothing more
than to live somewhere

where they made
it easy for you.

- Okay.
- But it's not gonna happen.

What? Why not?

When I got sick,

Kit stuck by my side,

even though he was
handsome and moody

and could've had
a date any evening,

but it gave him purpose.

And thank God it did

because when he had the stroke,

that purpose became drive.

Yeah, I... I don't see
how that's a reason.

I'm his reason for living.

I can't
take that away from him.

Don't, don't, no, no, no, no.
Please, don't...

Don't do this. You don't...
Don't sign that because

if you... if you take
your daughter out of our care,

you will subvert
all of the progress we've made.

Progress? Were you in
the conference room yesterday?

They have too many problems
to be in a relationship.

Yeah, but they have been.

Successfully
for quite some time now.

So it won't matter.

It won't matter
if you transfer hospitals,

if you break them up
temporarily.

They will find each other
because they're in love.

They will find
each other out there.

Do you understand?
I know you guys do.

So if... if you let them
stay on here,

continue on with me,
we can help them.

We can work with them
to help understand

their feelings
more productively.

And that way when they do
end up in the real world,

which they will,
they will be prepared.

Why are you so invested
in keeping them together?

Because I don't believe that
anyone should intentionally

keep people
who love each other apart.

Dad, Felicity's
not in her room.

What do you mean?

Shane was in the ED
getting his hand rebandaged

and she asked
if she could go say goodbye.

Oh, not this again.

Uh, uh, folks, hang on. Guys...

Well, how can we find them?
They could be anywhere.

No.

No, no, not anywhere.

Ready to remove the clamps.

Good distal flow.

Yeah, confirmed.

Organs are looking great.

Is that "hang loose?"
Does that mean we're clear?

Yeah, we're clear.

Yes.

Well done.
Well done, everybody.

Amazing work, people.

Let's close him up, people.

Hey, everyone, look up.

How crazy is this, huh?

- Helen?
- No, no.

- No!
- Blood pressure's dropping.

- Is it a clot?
- Check the heart.

We're checking
blood pressure.

Where's all the blood
coming from?

His aorta just burst.

We gotta move.
He'll be dead in minutes.

Need four by fours.

Get a PTT.

- What's going on?
- Shane!

What the hell
you think you're doing?

They're two consenting adults
in a place of worship.

And there's a time
for objection; it's not now.

I know this won't be easy.

And I know a lot of people
have their doubts about us.

Oh, my God.

But you make me whole,
Felicity.

Before I met you,
I wanted to shut out the world.

To get close to someone
meant to risk hurting them.

But with the love...

the fearless love...

that you gave me...

I feel whole
and healed.

On the day we met,

I got another heart,

but it didn't make me
more vulnerable.

It made me stronger.

I have lived in
so many hospitals.

I was never able to picture
living outside of one.

And now I can.

I can see my whole life
with you, Shane,

and it's beautiful.

I think there's even a cat.

Should anyone present
know of any reason

why this couple should not
be joined in holy matrimony,

speak now
or forever hold your peace.

Then by the power vested in me
by the state of New York,

I now pronounce you
man and wife.

- This feels ominous.
- It really does.

Like the day we got fired
from that casino.

Hated that day.
Hated that whole show.

Are we done here?

Great, great.
So, uh, here's the deal.

You are two single,
mature-aged men who both have

severe neurological
medical conditions,

also living in a brownstone

where literally
nothing is accessible,

and in terms of caregiving,

the inmates are basically
running the asylum.

So here is
what you're going to do.

You are going to hire
a licensed caregiver

to move in and take care
of both of you.

I don't want a stranger
living in my house.

Do you really not see
what's going on?

They will move into
the office on the middle floor.

- Oh, now I see it.
- Look, whoever it is,

Bob, they're gonna help you
with the day-to-day things

that will probably
get harder to do.

And, Kit,

they will make sure that you do
your PT exercises on the daily.

But more importantly,

they will make sure
that you can still

take care of each other.

'Cause that's its own
kind of healing.

Our lack of response
means we're in.

- Good.
- Shall we?

If we must.

Oh, we must.

For the record, Doc,

you make me laugh.

Thanks, Bob.

Can we have Chinese?

We had Chinese last night.
What about Thai food?

I don't like Thai food,

how about somewhere Croatian?

Latvian! I want Latvian.

Casey?

What do you need?

You know all those times
you talk about jet-skis,

and laser tag, Russian spies?

Yeah, I know, I know.
I'll stop.

Actually, don't. Ever.

In fact, the more the better.

- Really?
- Yeah.

'Cause now you can rent
jet-skis over by Little Island.

And since I'm gonna try
to get, like, super close

to see if I can rock
the island with my wake,

but I think I'm gonna
need more jet-skis

to make some kind of impact,
so if you want to come,

yo, let me know,
we can do it.

Floyd, come in.

We should've
told you sooner

And Lyn wanted to,
but I didn't.

And now I regret it.

You should've never
told me.

At all.

The surgery was...

it was dangerous

and it was unpredictable

and ultimately thrilling.

So basically, it was
the you of surgeries.

You know,
I thought I was going to...

No.

You are not done yet, mister.

Mm-hmm.

Are we?

Max. Two questions.

Did you only say yes because
it was your day of yes?

When it comes to a patient,
I always say yes.

Do you like
chicken fried rice?

Has she even sat down
in the past 24 hours?

No.

And now she wants us all
to go to Benihana.

Where dinner is the show!

Yeah, I see that.

Yeah, no, I would love that,

but I can't tonight.

But I'll tell you what,
the next time

you... perform a brilliant,

once in a lifetime surgery,
then...

Then I'll catch some shrimp.

Deal.

Hey, uh, Max.

Did you ever find that
replacement for Dr. Sharpe?

No.

Do you want to fill
the position right now?

What are you saying?

I've decided today is

my day of yes.

Welcome to the team.

Hey, Veronica just called
to see if she missed

- anything important today.
- Mm, did she?

And what did you tell
the beast?

I told her it was just

another typical day
at New Amsterdam.

Hm.

What are we doing here?

- I can't hear you.
- There's cars.

Okay, I love surprises
as much as the next girl,

but you need to tell me
why we're on this bridge

or you're gonna go off it.

Could you...

Could you move?

'Cause I'm actually trying
to see the art... right here.

- Get up.
- Ow, ow, ow.

Violent.

Reynolds told you
about the mural.

Maybe.

How'd you feel about it?

I've been asking myself
all day.

And, um, I feel...

I feel like it's incredible.

I heard what you said.

To Veronica.

That maybe
you weren't gonna leave.

There was just
a hollow... threat.

I didn't know what else
to throw at her.

I-I...

Sorry
you heard it.

Yeah, well,
it definitely hurt.

And then failing
at Luna's lunch.

I don't know, I'm feeling...

I'm feeling just
really insecure at the moment.

And then I saw
that text from Guillaume

and it reminded me of
a version of myself that was

confident and fearless.

But I am sorry
that I never told you

- who he was to me.
- No, don't be.

I mean, you're allowed
to have a life.

No, the only thing
I care about now is us.

Moving forward.

I...

I just hope I...
make you happy.

Happy?
How can you even ask that?

I mean, you have this whole
wild and carefree life

that I never really knew about

that you clearly
loved.

And where I'm at,
being a dad, I...

I can't give that to you.

When I was young,
I had a really simple philosophy.

Follow the butterflies.

Whatever made you excited,
or nervous. or feel alive,

go there.

So I went to Guillaume.

He was butterflies.

Yeah, he was butterflies.

But so are you.

I have hung from bridges.

What I've never done
is be your partner.

I've never...

I've never built
a shared life with someone.

And I've certainly
never been...

I've never been
a little girl's, um...

Parent.

There they are now.

Sync corrections by srjanapala