Original subtitles

Come on!

Seriously?

Thank you so very much.

Fuck! What's wrong with this alarm?

Dizengoff! Dizengoff! Dizengoff!

You'll owe me one million Lira!

You're a witch. This is not possible.

I'll go prepare your consolation prize.

I'm not hungry. But I will shnorr another cigarette.

I have to get going or I'll miss my waxing appointment.

You just got here.

-Three hours ago. -I'll do this waxing thing for you.

Great idea, I always wanted my grandmother to wax my bikini line.

We still need to go over the bar's books before I do the salaries.

Can't you do it alone this month?

Don't give me that look.

It's not like I'm putting you in a public retirement home.

Yet.

It's because of this new girlfriend of yours?

Not just another girlfriend. It's different.

Maria is...

You have to meet her.

No, no, no. I've met enough girlfriends.

I can definitely skip this... Maria of yours.

Because you don't like her name or because she's not circumcised?

No. Because it's a waste of time.

All these Marias are a waste of time.

Besides, moving in with someone after knowing them for two minutes,

that's just in bad taste.

Three months.

Don't go unpacking your boxes just yet. Casanova.

You're such a romantic.

Romance is for young women

who don't have cellulitis.

Yet.

Good afternoon, ladies.

Oh, Ibrahim.

Perfect timing.

Your playmate is here.

Take my seat but be careful. She bites today.

-What are you doing here anyhow? -I warned you.

You said you have a crack in the wall.

You're a doctor, why do you let her use you for construction work?

I'm using her.

The place should be in tip-top shape the day we get our houses back.

Nice, I didn't know Palestinians joke about the Nakba.

Who said I was joking?

Ok, come on. Go, wax your thing.

Don't call it a thing.

She's more beautiful when she's in love.

Enough with the Schmalz.

Do you want some cookies?

I want you to keep my seedling alive until I come back from Germany.

The day is going to come

that your kids are going to notify the German authorities

of an old, dangerously pushy Arab who visits too often.

I'll go fix your thing.

KISS ME BEFORE IT BLOWS UP

-Shlomi? -Seriously?

Shlomi, I'm so sorry. Give me a sec to find parking.

No, I don't have time for this.

I have to load the truck in half an hour.

She thinks we have time for this shit.

Careful, this washing machine has already moved five times.

This might be her last reincarnation.

Is this for me?

God, I missed you, Mucki.

Thanks.

-I can't believe we're really doing it. -Yes.

No, no need for a ticket!

Shira?

Neta?

I can't believe it.

It's been years.

-So, what's up? -Are you moving in or out?

We're moving in. This is Maria, my girlfriend.

-Hi. -This is Neta.

-Nice to meet you. -Hi. Hello.

Have you been to the bar?

You should come to the bar.

Well... do ex-girlfriends get a discount?

Do you want me to go bankrupt?

And what about exes who spent three months with you in India?

Yes.

We'd better go now, take everything inside...

-Great seeing you. -Yeah.

Yeah.

Bye!

-Re-park your car. -Of course.

India?

Yes.

Best landscapes, worst indigestion... don't ask.

Maybe I should start asking.

Do you have to be so nice to them?

Do you have to be so sweet?

I see now why animals mark their territory.

Do you mean you wanna...

-Because I'm not sure I'm into that. -No...

-I have a better idea. -Ok.

A very romantic one.

Wait...

Found it!

A ring?

Shit!

It's ok, Mucki,

it's not like I expected this moment to be a full-blown 90s romcom.

No, this is not how I meant it.

I know, and believe me,

"shit" isn't really what I had in mind for this moment, but...

I guess it will be a pretty good story to tell the kids.

Kids?

-I... -What?

Nothing.

-Give me your hand. -Oh my God.

Abomination! Disgusting!

Whoever coined the term "lesbian bed death" hasn't met you, Mucki.

What is it?

Oh my God, I love that I'm your first.

Can I borrow your phone for a sec?

I need to call my mom and tell her I've found the woman of my dreams.

You're an endless source of pickup lines.

And I fall for them. Every single time, Mucki.

No! That's what I call you.

You need to find me a nickname, and before we get married.

Okay.

I can do that.

How about...

You're going to look so beautiful in a white dress.

I didn't know you had this kind of heterosexual fantasies.

Who you calling heterosexual?

You're the one who went down on one knee in the middle of the street,

making me feel like Julia Roberts.

Let's go get breakfast?

But first...

No... No, no, woman. Are you trying to kill me?

I need water, food.

Want some?

What's up, bro?

Really?

Where is she?

You stink.

-It's bleach. -It's vagina.

And how would you know?

That's a silly pet.

Kind of suits you, Liam.

Care to explain the fluff monster?

The rabbit is for you.

A small token of my appreciation.

I have no idea what you're after but the answer is no.

How can you say no without even knowing what he wants?

Let me show you.

What do you want?

Thank God you're here, Maria.

She's way nicer when you're around.

Spit it out, furball.

I need to make a documentary film for my final school project.

They told us to find an Arab or an Orthodox or...

You know, one of those things that always look good on camera.

So I figured nothing can top my favorite Israeli-German dyke couple.

And that's why you first say no and then ask.

Survival 101.

-You'll get the hang of it. -No, you can't say no.

It's only a film. A short one.

Okay. But we decide exactly when and where

you get to poke around with your camera.

Fine.

You can take some nice pictures of the princess.

I'll put them on Facebook.

She aimed for a Jewish princess and found me.

-Fräulein Stasi. -I'm from Stuttgart, Dummkopf.

South West Germany?

-Google it. -East, west...

I don't discriminate. At one point you were all Nazis.

-Not everyone. -Everyone.

I have to get going.

Mom sent me to buy a few things before the stores close.

See you tonight.

Take this with you.

Bro, no one ever said all lesbians must have cats.

-Good evening! -Good evening!

Shalom Shabbat.

It's Shabbat shalom.

-I memorized the important stuff. -Okay.

Your mother is going to feed me if I want it or not.

Resistance is futile.

Your father always needs to have the last word.

You're the only one who can withhold him this prerogative,

that's what you do best.

I am not to try without adult supervision.

I'm allowed to say "no" next time Ella asks me if I want to see her rifle.

I shouldn't shake Liam's hand if he offers it because he never washes them.

I got it all, right?

I don't want you to regret proposing to me, so I'm going to say...

Yes.

Speaking of proposing, I...

I was thinking, maybe we...

Shouldn't tell our families yet?

How did you know?

I know my parents and I've met yours, so...

I'd call it an educated guess.

And because we're a match made in lesbian heaven.

What?

Just imagining how lesbian heaven would look like.

But I really want to tell my grandma.

Sure. I get it. She'll be happy for you.

Happy? Let's not exaggerate. My grandma wouldn't know happiness

if it smacked her in the face with a Torah Scroll.

How can you talk like that about a Holocaust survivor?

She's not a "Holocaust survivor".

She's my grandma.

WELCOME TO MINSA

NOT FOREIGN LAND BUT OUR ANCESTRAL HERITAGE...

Can you translate it?

Schnupsi?

Schnupsi?

Is that supposed to be a nickname or is that the way you sneeze in German?

My girls!

Oh my God, is this the salad?

I've been craving it ever since my student exchange program

in South Germany.

Oh, and... here are the other provisions.

Only a Jew can get that excited about pork.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

I better hide it in the back of the fridge.

-You're here! -Hey!

I can't believe the two of you, crazy love birds.

You should come over and see the new place.

I've been there already. I helped Shira move some of her crap.

If bitching and whining qualifies as helping.

They're the fifth column!

Why don't you go back to Europe if you don't like it?

Why does he always yell at the TV?

It's an Israeli thing.

We don't protest, we yell at the TV.

Ora!

Can we start the Kiddush already?

Hi.

Have you lost weight since the last time you were here?

No, I don't think so.

Liam! The girls are here. We want to start Kiddush.

You know I can't stand it when you wash your hands in the kitchen sink.

What did she say?

That she's so happy to have the whole family in the kitchen.

I'm also very happy to be here.

You should take some Hebrew lessons.

Mom... Have you noticed Shira's hand?

Is her allergy back?

-No. -I hope you're hungry.

You were there today. Do you know anything I should know?

-How should I know? You tell me. -Tell you what?

I know she's a lesbian.

But if your straight daughter

showed up with a new boyfriend for Friday dinner

wearing a new ring on her fat finger...

With Maria?

A wedding?

Oh my God! A wedding!

-Oh my God! -Could you stop yelling already?

-Have you noticed your daughter's hand? -Is the allergy back?

-The other hand! -Can you stop it with the yelling?

-I think they've noticed the ring. -Yeah.

Ring?

How many carats?

-Let me see, let me see. -No.

It's not a diamond, it...

It was spontaneous.

I get to plan a wedding?

-Mom, we get to plan a wedding! -We get to plan a wedding!

I have to refresh my German.

Fischers Fritze fritzt frische...

Who's Fritz?

"Fischers Fritze fischt frische Fische."

-Come here. -Frischers Fritz...

You're going to pay for stealing my moment.

Pay for it? You should thank me for capturing it on film.

-Fischers Fritz fischt frische... -Fischers Fritz fischt frische...

Grams!

Just sitting down for dinner.

Sure...

Yes, sure. Bye.

Grandma summons you and the current one.

That would be you.

Are you recording the Muezzin?

This one's my favorite. Such a beautiful voice...

Really? I'll remind you of his beautiful voice next time

you grumble about him at five in the morning.

-Me? I never complain. -Oh no, you never complain.

And I'm not fat, I'm just exaggeratedly beautiful.

Quiet! I prepared some questions.

When did you first learn about Shira's sexual orientation?

"Sexual orientation"? Sounds like a medical term.

-Okay, being a lesbian. -Sounds like a disease.

-I'm out of synonyms. -You know...

Homosexuality was considered to be a disease not so many years ago.

-Do you consider it to be a disease? -Of course not.

How come I open up my mouth and your voice comes out?

He's trying to make it look as if we have a problem with Shira.

-It's fake news. -He's not that sophisticated.

He's right, I'm not.

To get back to my question. Do you think it's a disease?

I love my daughter exactly as God created her.

-When did she come out? -At 13.

Your mother thinks Adi was the one that made her a lesbian.

Because she did.

Isn't it genetic?

Well if it is, it's from your mother's side.

Do you think getting married after three months is too fast?

I'm happy it's the last time we have to host a new girlfriend

for Shabbat dinner.

Stop! You make her sound like a floozy.

-We got married after six months. -That's because I knocked you up.

A pregnant bride has a double glow.

Disgusting. Knock it off.

Anyway, Maria's going to be a great addition to our family.

Yeah, your sister scored the triple whammy, the holy trinity:

lesbian, gentile, German.

But how can you be so sure she's going to like me, Shiri?

-Shiri? No. Boring. -Shiksa?

Shiksa?

You struggle with "Shabbat shalom" but Shiksa you picked up?

Where did you hear it? No one uses that anymore.

Is it a bad word?

Shiksa is a non-Jewish woman, and in some circles...

Yeah, it's considered a bad thing.

Does your family belong to these... circles?

No, no, no... God, no!

My dad only sounds like a fascist, but...

If you look closely and close your ears,

he actually resembles a Care Bear.

So why am I not supposed to tell anyone about your grandma's Arab lover?

Because this Care Bear starts shooting rainbows from his tummy

when he hears the word "Arab".

And my grandma thinks no one knows.

Not even me...

Your family is complicated.

Shira'le.

That's how my grandma calls me when she wants to be extra nasty.

Shushi!

-Wanna listen to some music? -Yes, Shushi.

Look.

That's how my grandma spends her reparation money.

That's whisky, not coffee.

Shira!

What are you doing here?

If you wanted her to come out differently

you should have smacked her on the tushy as a kid.

She also has a father, you know.

Don't get me started about that settler of yours.

Finally, they let me meet you.

It's a pleasure to finally meet you.

I just want you to know that I don't care if she's a lesbian.

As long as she doesn't look like a truck driver

I'm ok with it.

Maria, I could use a hand in the kitchen.

So, your mother said that she is doing a PhD in something with plants.

And she's German. Whatever.

So what's the problem?

You exchange girlfriends as often as I misplace my dentures.

Why do I have to meet her? What's so special about her?

Grams?

-What? -You love me, right?

You're the one I tolerate the most.

You're going to love her.

I liked the last one. Maya, wasn't it? Maya?

Maya... She was...

And one freezer isn't enough?

It's her vault. That's where she keeps her...

Emotions.

Did you interview Maria for your film already?

-Not yet. But... -Why not? Not nice. You should.

You should also ask her about her family.

We don't know anything about them.

About my parents?

We have to meet them.

And your... grandparents. If they're alive.

No, unfortunately not.

So... what do you know about your family's history?

It's not as interesting as your family.

Mine have lived in Germany in the same place for generations.

Real Germans?

So they were all Jew eaters?

Liam!

I guess he meant to ask

what your grandparents did during the... war.

There's a box of cookies up there. Can you bring it with you?

Not the cookies. The cookies are for guests.

-Don't we qualify as guests? -No, you don't.

Come on, I'll buy you new ones. I need something sweet.

What you need is a diet.

I just told her. The cookies are not good anymore.

It's ok, I'm not really hungry.

Your roses are very beautiful.

I have to let them wilt. They need too much water.

-Is this an apple-tree seedling? -Yes.

She's baby-sitting it for her... You know...

Mom?

-Are you seeing someone? -Me?

Not since Golda Meir was in charge of this sinking ship.

It was a joke, mom.

Good.

Because she tends to have... exotic taste in men.

Get out of there.

-Sorry, grandma. I didn't notice. -What are you doing with this camera?

I told you on the phone. I'm shooting a documentary.

About me?

About them.

-These two are not that interesting. -Yes, they are.

My teacher said it's the best project in class.

We have lesbians, Shoah...

-And now marriage! -Liam!

Why the look?

-You should be happy for me. -What for?

For marrying the first Shiksa you hop into bed with?

Shiksa?

You and your sister owe your lives to a Shiksa!

-Any chance she had a minor stroke? -God forbid.

My grandma is really happy for us.

Unfortunately she was born without the facial expression to match.

Why would you want to buy the first pair of shoes you ever try on?

Grandma?

I actually...

It was...

You don't have to answer.

Where can I find the toilet?

Mom, let's not repeat my wedding fiasco.

We're going to have one normal wedding in this family!

What wedding? We haven't even talked about it.

-You're getting married. Period! -Sure.

-In June. -Am I invited?

Excuse me, I meant what I said. You're not getting married.

Especially not to Eva and Adolf's spawn.

-Now, you don't give me that look. -Hitler's spawn?

Since when do you use the Holocaust as a bargaining chip?

Since rolling in the hay wasn't enough and you decided to marry the German.

Mucki, let's go. The shrew lost her broom.

-But I should say good-bye. -It's ok. Let's go.

On your way out, put the cookies where they belong.

Why would she even care about how many women I've been with?

Why would you even talk to your grandma about such an intimate topic?

She's my grandma. We talk.

-About everything? -You make it sound creepy.

It's totally normal to share things with your family.

Can you not share intimate details about me with them?

I don't even recall telling her. Really. I'm as surprised as you are.

Okay. Okay, I got it.

Aren't you going to rinse that?

It's full of pesticides.

Not to mention all the dirty hands that touched it

before it landed in our fridge.

Pesticides, shmesticides. It's good for the immune system.

Okay.

I like me a decisive woman.

Can I ask you a question?

-Is that a German thing? -What?

Asking permission to ask questions?

It's a polite thing.

Seems like a terrible waste of time.

Did my mom ask you about your family already?

Yes.

Are you interrogating me?

Muck, you have parsley in your teeth.

I told you already, they were farmers. That's all we know.

Why are you asking again?

Did your grandmother say anything?

And your mother's parents?

Died before I was born. My mom said they never talked about it.

Okay.

Where I'm from that's all we talk about.

And if we're not analyzing it

or using it as an excuse for something we're not supposed to be doing

we're eating.

-That's connected to the Holocaust too. -They didn't talk, now they're dead.

Pity.

Would it change anything?

-Okay. Let me get that straight. -Hey!

We don't use the word straight as a synonym for right.

I'm not joking right now. I really want to know.

If my grandfather was a farmer working his land,

then I'm a good German.

But if my grandmother ate Jews for breakfast

then I'm a bad German, have to go pack my bags and leave?

No. It wouldn't change anything for me.

But it doesn't contradict the need to know.

I asked.

Farmers.

Okay.

Maria!

Shit!

That's an original proposal. Love it.

A bit vulgar, if you ask me.

-Oh, no one did. -Play nice, ladies.

So...

About the wedding. What's the plan?

What's the budget?

I always wanted a beach wedding.

Small. 300 guests max.

And who's going to pay for that?

The guests. You just put down a down-payment.

I mean have you talked to your parents yet?

Are both of them willing to chip in?

Is it even legal in Israel?

No. But we fake it.

But why? I mean...

Who needs a big wedding anyway?

-Everyone. -Everyone?

Yes, a big wedding at the end of your 20s

and then popping out kids in your 30s.

Even lesbians?

The Jewish need to couple and reproduce does not skip even us homos.

Were you aware of her somewhat

progressive approach to the whole wedding topic?

We haven't really talked about it yet.

I give it two months. I don't like you pulling double shifts for her

to play house with another tourist.

That's what you do when your business partner is your best friend.

I give it till just before the wedding.

Ready to go.

Shushi?

What's up?

I heard you moved to the building next door.

Funny...

Come for a drink, you'll get a neighborhood discount.

And you? Where have you been hiding?

This is Maria, my fiancée.

So... I've been busy.

So you're the reason we don't see Shushi at the surf club anymore.

And I cracked my surfboard, so I'm getting it fixed.

Gotta go, I smell like steak.

See you around.

Surfboard?

Totally forgot to pick it up. Need some water?

And she... Is she an ex?

So sweet when you hiccup.

We should wait a few minutes to be on the safe side.

I wonder what's setting it off constantly.

It could always be one of your exes hiding in the storage room.

I think I finally found a fitting nickname for you.

Can I spend the night at your place?

My bed is broken.

Not everything can be solved with sex, you know.

You want me to prove you wrong, don't you?

Is that anger I'm detecting on that beautiful face?

Stop it!

Shushi!

-Is everything all right, Mucki? -No.

Care to elaborate?

I don't want to ruin what we have.

Why does it sound like you're about to tell me

you're married to a Klaus-Jürgen who's grilling sausages for you as we speak?

I'm not joking.

-About Klaus-Jürgen? -Stop it!

-So talk. -I can't!

Why?

I didn't mean to propose the day I arrived.

There, I said it.

I wanted to...

God, it sounds so stupid. Mark my territory, so...

I thought it's great timing for giving you the perfume I got you as a present.

And then the ring fell out and you thought...

-But... -I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

-You didn't want to propose. -No.

I mean, I did not not want to propose. It hadn't even occurred to me.

I love you more than I ever thought is humanly possible.

But you don't want to marry me.

So why didn't you tell me right there and then it's a misunderstanding?

-Because you were so happy. -Yes.

And I was so happy.

I really was.

I am.

It's so fast, we don't really know each other and maybe we don't even fit.

I know we shouldn't fit but... we do.

Somehow.

Isn't this... Are you sure you...

-Can you shut up and see if it fits? -Shut up?

Almost as romantic as "shit".

See?

It shouldn't fit...

but somehow it does.

I don't need 300 guests on the beach.

I just need you.

Will you marry me?

I just really need to hear you say it... this time.

Yes.

I want to marry you.

And I'm going to need a notarized copy of this declaration.

Who's calling?

Why do you hang up all the time?

Apple.

Abble.

No, not "B".

"P". A-pple.

Can I have a cookie?

Only if you can ask for it in Hebrew.

And if I can't?

Then I'll defrost you a proper lunch.

I killed Ibrahim's apple tree.

Why do I have to learn Hebrew?

Because your granduncle asked me to help you.

He said it's because you lost in poker.

And now you owe him.

Because he's the poker king.

Oh really?

And what else does your uncle say about me?

That you're... ok for a Jew.

And that you don't smile a lot but when you do it's the most beautiful...

Here, take it.

Is that your surprised, happy, hysteric laugh

or your own special way of telling me that I'm ruining my life?

You know your mother. She's not the crying type. Show me the ring.

Here. Can you see it?

It's a family heirloom. I don't even take it off for showering.

-We have to visit you immediately. -Yes.

No!

Sure, we have to see the place where our daughter lives.

Meet Shira's parents... plan a wedding...

Wait a second. May I first ask why you want to marry at all?

I mean, this is all going very fast.

Is this about equality of same-sex marriage

or your way of protesting for your civil rights?

I guess it's because she's in love.

We love each other and we didn't marry either.

-Not yet. -Hans!

Should I leave you alone?

No, but am I the only one worried about your moral and physical health?

I didn't enlist in the army, mom. I fell in love.

Let her do her thing.

Okay. You know what?

If you insist, we'll come.

-What? -We're coming.

I never said that. That was dad's idea.

Yes, we are. We're coming.

We're coming and we're excited to meet Shira's parents.

But let's be clear about one thing: I'm not going to cross the green line!

Bro, you called me to help, so let me help.

Go help Adi. I can handle the cash register.

You know I stopped trusting you the day you beheaded all my Barbies.

I'm going to pretend I love you like a sister till after the wedding.

It's going to be the best party ever.

Maybe we'll just sign papers in Germany and that's it.

No, you won't!

We're going to have a proper wedding. Everyone wants to be a bride.

Not everyone.

-Is this Maria's influence? -No.

So what's wrong with you? Is this a leftist or a feminist thing?

Still waiting for the blood results.

-Careful, it might be contagious. -Seriously, man.

Why do you have to be against everything? You sound like grandma.

Shut up, don't call me "man" and don't call me "grandma".

Even grandma doesn't sound like grandma anymore.

You know what I love about Israel?

It entails everything.

Warm and cold, arid and wet, ugly and beautiful...

-Don't you think that's amazing? -You said you're a scientist, right?

-Yes. -Why aren't we sitting in a cool lab?

And what is this PhD of yours even about?

I'm writing a PhD about climate change, so...

I need to collect data. Seeds.

This bush, or by its scientific name "Sarcopoterium spinosum",

exists across the entire climatic gradient of...

Can we go now? I'm sweating from my ass.

Thanks for sharing this information with me.

You're welcome.

Wait, wait, wait! What are you doing? Stay here, it's not safe.

-I know him. -So?

Are you out of your mind? There's a fence for a reason.

True, it's in order to protect the experiment.

-Yeah, but... No. -So you wanted something to film.

So come with me and talk to him. He's your age.

Don't forget to take the sheep with you.

So, if you're not going to help, you can at least teach me some Hebrew.

What else do I absolutely need to know how to say?

I eat pork on Yom Kippur.

-What does it mean? -I'm not Jewish.

I told you I don't want you to film while we're eating.

So throwing things at him is your solution?

-Original, isn't it? -Not in the occupied territories.

-Liberated, not occupied. -Maria, how many pieces would you like?

One, please.

I want the thin one.

That's what happens to leftists from Tel Aviv.

They forget how to defend their Schnitzel.

I will never understand why you willingly pay horrendous prices

for apartments in neighborhoods that look like Dresden

after the allies finished with it.

They had it coming, you don't.

Right, we really should be looking into renting a trailer.

-And move to the neighboring hill. -Or to the desert.

I know what ruined you. It was your Arab-loving, tree-hugging mother.

You're right.

She also installed the gay chip right here underneath the skin,

drowned the Altalena, signed the Oslo Accords and started the first Intifada.

Carrots?

Your seedling is not dead.

Yet.

Give me a few more days. But the little brat you can keep to yourself.

I have enough of those.

I'd rather pay cash if I ever lose again.

I have a better idea.

Good, because I wasn't going to pay you a dime.

If I win...

you agree to go on a date with me.

Not here...

Outside.

Your silence is a yes.

Sorry...

My hamstring is killing me since I started taking Zumba classes.

Now is not a good time.

It'll never be a good time, now is as good as ever.

Or as bad as always.

These aren't politics, these are facts.

An Arab who appears in the first act explodes in the last.

I wish you'd put your creative copywriting skills to a better use.

He used to be a nice American boy when we got married.

He only changed his politics once he figured out

that grandma wouldn't cross the green line.

That was indeed the cherry.

On top of it being cheaper to buy a house on this beautiful hill

that I would one day be able to pass on to my children.

You keep the hill. I'll take cash.

You're such a condescending ass. You think we're stupid

for serving our country and standing strong against terror.

I never said that.

Because of people like you the world thinks

we don't have the right to defend ourselves.

-You're doing real damage! -People like me?

Citizens who have the right to express their opinions?

Even if you don't like what they say?

Can we at least try to get through one Shabbat dinner

without fighting over politics?

-I don't think so. -It's a rhetorical question, you idiot!

Oh no, no, no, sweetie, we're not fighting.

-No! -No, we're not fighting.

-It's Friday foreplay. -Yes.

Foreplay? Disgusting.

Can we finally talk about the wedding?

Yeah... Let's talk about the wedding.

Mom...

We're not going to live according to social constructionism.

Of course you're not.

You'll adopt a blond baby whom you're not going to have circumcised.

Then you're going to move to Germany like the rest of the freeloaders

that use their grandparents' passports because you'd rather live in a place

where your baby won't have to serve in the army like the rest of us idiots.

-And I'm going to join the Wehrmacht. -Excuse me, young ladies.

I've been going to weddings for years and paying good money

so that when the day comes and it's my childrens' turn to get married,

it will be my turn to collect.

So now it's my turn!

Now give me your plate, Maria...

I don't want your mother thinking

we're not feeding you when she sees you tomorrow.

I guess I can squeeze in a few more potatoes.

Good girl.

We're too old for these kinds of games.

You're right.

Bridge would have been the age appropriate choice.

Ok, I'll let you win this time.

Berta...

It's your turn.

We are going to have this conversation.

Your name is still Ibrahim and this is still the Middle East.

So, no, we really don't need to have this conversation.

Take a page from your granddaughter's book.

She seems to be doing just fine.

I'm at the age of taking a Philippine caregiver, not an Arab lover.

Exactly! We're old. No one cares what we do.

We finally got another chance here, don't you see that?

Berta.

Everyone who once stood in our way is dead. Gone.

And I'm a doctor.

Are you going to play?

But doesn't your mother want a proper wedding?

She believes the state shouldn't interfere

in private matters of the heart.

That's why my parents never got married.

Take it like a man.

Oh, by the way...

I found a rabbi who's willing to perform your wedding ceremony.

-But... -You did what?

I eat pork on Yom Kippur.

What did I say?

You eat pork on Yom Kippur.

Never learn anything from Liam.

I wanted to say, "I'm not Jewish."

Well, you can always convert, you know?

Can you be more condescending?

I just find it funny that Dad thinks Maria would ever convert.

Why?

I'm not telling you to convert. But if you want to have kids...

What does giving birth have to do with anything?

Well...

If she's not Jewish she can't carry my grandchildren.

You need to keep your religion out of our reproductive systems.

Ok?

-Let's go home now. -I can do Friday foreplay.

Can I please have another piece of Schnitzel?

Oh my God! Are you out of your mind?

He's very useful for when my parents get on my nerves.

And she just asked for another Schnitzel?

Wow, call me impressed.

Excuse me, Miss Impressed,

but if the Dancing Queen over here wants to marry a Jew

she better accept that Mommy Dearest is going to demand a big old wedding.

And you, Miss Self-Hating Jew,

that papa's going to preach his grandkids to lose their foreskin.

You can always open a Jewish Princess in Germany.

Play by the rules or be exiled?

I was trying to be funny.

We'll adopt a blond baby.

And move to Germany.

I'm so sorry.

No more Friday foreplay for you.

Don't shush me!

My mom's right.

It's no place to live.

Are you Maria's parents?

Who's asking?

The Mossad.

No, no, no, it's a joke.

I'm Liam, Shira's little brother and Maria's biggest fan.

Didn't she tell you about the documentary?

You're from Stuttgart, right?

South West Germany. I googled it.

Ok, it won't take long,

I'm going to ask you the same questions I asked my parents.

Alright?

Ready?

When did you first learn about Maria's sexual orientation?

What do you mean?

-When did she tell you she's a lesbian? -She didn't.

We know. She didn't have to come out or anything.

Love is love.

We don't care as long as she's happy.

-Even if it's a Jew? -Are you suggesting anything?

No, no, I'm not suggesting. I'm asking. Look, it's in my notes.

But why are you asking?

I also asked my parents. They didn't seem to mind.

What did you ask them?

-About Maria. -What about Maria?

I don't know. That... you know. She's not Jewish and... German.

What did they say?

Hey, I'm supposed to be the one asking the questions around here.

Mom?

-Hey! -Hey! You're early.

Yes!

We only had carry-on luggage.

You're here!

So happy to have you here.

-Was he being impolite? -Me?

You should ask her.

-Let's go up. -Yes.

No, no, wait! I'm not done yet.

Oh, yes, you are.

I'm going to grandma's tomorrow, you can join then, you little vulture.

You wanted them to meet your grandma?

Well, ah... We would love to meet your grandmother.

But my wife went ahead and booked us a tour for tomorrow.

What?

The two of you alone? Where to?

To a... refugee camp.

Forget about grandma. I want to be there when they meet dad.

-Let's go? -Yes.

Why do you make plans without me? Don't you want me to come with you?

You just moved in. You have enough on your plate.

You don't have to take care of us.

This is great! This is a great apartment.

You're going to your grandma's tomorrow?

The Shiksa is coming with you.

Are you trying to commit suicide by onion?

Less than one Shekel a kilo! I bought 20 kilos.

Oh, what a joyous event.

-Close the door. -It's murder-suicide you're going for.

What are you doing here anyway?

I left without saying goodbye last time.

Have a seat.

We don't have to eat them now, you can keep them for later.

Open the door.

The word is you're unbeatable in Monopoly.

Want to see for yourself?

I would love to.

Liam showed me an interview he made with your friend, the Bedouin boy?

What Bedouin boy?

Ahmed. I give him water and some of your cigarettes.

And he keeps his sheep out of my research station.

Well, he tries to.

It seems you are good with impossible things.

I'm afraid I killed it.

You over-watered it.

But I think I can save it.

First, let's put it outside, but no direct sun.

I'll find a place for it.

She's nice.

She's very nice.

But you still can't marry her.

But I'm going to.

I even gave her the ring.

You did what?

My mother's ring?

I wanted to give her the most precious thing I own.

But I gave it you!

It is all I have left of my mother!

-It's because I'm German? -She didn't say that. Stop pulling.

Sorry. I shouldn't have accepted the ring. I knew its history.

Don't apologize. You have to apologize!

You're absolutely right. There is no apologizing for that.

And no forgiveness.

Will you please stop pushing your Hitler where it doesn't belong?

Grandma!

Do I have to change my locks?

-Did she lose in Monopoly? -She lost her mind!

She gave her my mother's ring!

Despite all my best efforts

she turned out to be a selfish, inconsiderate brat.

Me?

It's like you're looking for the bloodiest wound

to rub salt into it.

Sorry for thinking that the person who's in love with an Arab

wouldn't have a problem with my German!

What?

Me?

Never!

Unlike you, I can't just decide to be with somebody

and ignore everything else.

-What is "everything else"? -Reality, Ibrahim!

Re-a-li-ty!

Tell her I want my ring back before she disappears with it.

You have reached the mailbox of...

Yes, Adi?

Ok. Don't let her leave.

Mucki, thank God.

Get it off me.

Only if you promise you're not going to leave me.

I need to get it off me now.

I shouldn't have let you come with me. I'm sorry. You have to believe me.

Look at me.

Look at me.

The ring doesn't fit.

Fuck the ring. Fuck any ring. I'm going to buy you a new ring.

No history attached.

I love you.

More than anything.

How about I promise to keep my grandma and the rest of the crazy away?

And you promise to stay here with me?

Deal?

-Do you have it? -I have it.

Topple the monarch!

Shit!

What are you doing here?

Making sure salaries are paid.

And I own the place. But go ahead. Don't let me bother you.

Wait.

Take it.

I don't want it anymore.

So, I guess...

you don't want the money I invested in your business either?

Give me 30 days to come up with the money.

Hey!

Oh my God, I'm so happy to finally meet you.

-Ron. It's a pleasure. -Oh! Hans.

Hans, a pleasure, too. Ron.

Hello.

Maria told us you spent some time in a student exchange program in Germany.

Yes!

And I also remember all the important things.

Fischers Fritz fritze frisches frische...

"Fischers Fritze fischt frische Fische."

-Fischers Fritz fischt frische... -Mom!

People are praying here.

And this is Ella, our beautiful soldier.

You already met Liam, right?

Yes.

I'm also your tour guide for today.

Would you like to start at the Via Dolorosa or the Holy Sepulchre?

-Are you on duty now? -No.

I get a discount when I'm in uniform and I can get us into cool places.

I don't feel comfortable. I believe in peace.

So do we. That's why we fight for it.

I know what we need: food.

Food!

Food! Yes, wonderful idea.

-I could eat. -I have a better idea.

The Lodz Ghetto was established for Polish Jews

following the 1939 invasion of Poland.

It was the second-largest ghetto in all of Nazi-occupied Europe

after the Warsaw Ghetto.

Who made all these photographs?

Well, they came from various sources. A lot of them Germans.

This is where my mother's family came from.

And your family?

From a small village in South West Germany.

Maria didn't tell us much about them.

Yes.

They died before she was born.

I also didn't get to know my grandparents

because my mother didn't really know them as well.

She was four years old when her parents put her and her older sister in hiding.

That was the last time she saw them.

What's...

What happened?

Years after the war they finally found someone

that was in the same transport with their parents

and could tell them what had happened to them.

The whole family was gone.

No one survived, except my mother and her older sister.

My mother's earliest childhood memories

are of a cold, dark attic.

And hunger.

She always told me how hungry she was.

Oh, no, no, no!

Oh my God, oh my God. Please don't cry!

Shira's going to kill you.

They rounded them all up

and made them stand in the snow for hours,

waiting for the weakest to collapse.

Follow me.

A holocaust museum, seriously?

How does he come up with this shit?

I envy these people.

You shouldn't.

They are paying a fortune for stories

I've been hearing my whole life for free.

No, it just occurred to me that I never was able to simply be sad as a person.

How come?

I always experienced it as a German.

I feel guilty about it as a German,

I feel ashamed of it as a German.

I wonder how it feels when you're not a German.

Stick with me.

If history repeats itself,

you and I are going to be first in line for the crematorium.

Then you'll know how it feels as a victim.

-Mucki, wait, it was a joke. -Shira?

Maya?

Maria. Her fiancée.

Fiancée?

You're fast.

Excuse me?

Four months ago we were supposed to move in together.

And now she has a fiancée?

So much for keeping the crazy away. It didn't even last a single day.

-Mucki, I can explain... -No, don't Mucki me!

Wherever I turn there are skeletons.

It's like I'm living in a minefield waiting to explode right in my face.

And if that's not enough then there's your exes.

Is there a woman in Israel you haven't fucked?

Shushi!

Stop!

-Let me go, I need to break his camera. -You were driving, it's your fault.

You're lucky I broke my left hand. Papa!

I'm the only normal person in this family.

Mucki.

Hello.

Ibrahim?

Ibrahim?

I can't believe this!

You know each other?

Grandma sent me to visit him

when I went on the student exchange program to Germany.

How do you know each other?

-We loved having you around. -How is your beautiful wife doing?

She passed away.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

So you're back, right?

The kids have their own lives and I was yearning for...

...the sun.

Let me introduce you, my husband,

my youngest, Liam, my other daughter Ella,

Shira's fiancée, Maria,

her parents, soon to be my in-laws.

And you know, they come from Stuttgart.

Are you planning on giving him the full genealogy?

-Hi, nice to meet you. -Nice to meet you.

I did my fellowship in Tübingen. My children still live there.

"Schaffe schaffe, Häusle baue."

Is there a cousin in Jerusalem your mother doesn't know?

Happy to see everyone's ok.

Mom...

These are Maria's parents.

Mom. Mom, please.

-Get her off me! -Grandma!

-Stop it! -You don't yell at me!

From all the girls you dated,

suddenly, magically, you are cured from your commitment phobia

with a German?

I'm not taking this shit anymore.

Hallelujah!

Finally, she got the hint.

Mucki?

You're better off without her.

I have the feeling I'm better off without you.

I'll put a rush on your release papers.

No! No, no, no!

I, too, have the right to be treated as a person

and not only as a German.

Not for a woman who's entire family was murdered.

We should apologize to Shira's family.

Have you lost your mind?

Do you know how they call me? I'm a Shiksa.

And you are Goyim. Plural for anyone who's not Jewish.

And these are only the synonyms they have for non-Jews.

When it comes to Germans, that's when they get truly creative.

Joining cultures is a very difficult thing to do.

I'm very proud of how you're handling it.

Look how many new words you've learned!

Can I please have my parents back?

Since when do you cry all the time?

And why does everything you say sound like a damn Beatles song?

I told you, she never should have come here.

Of course she should. She's here for love.

Love?

Where?

Everyone here hates each other.

Everything is controversial. Everything.

Except that every German is hiding a Nazi past.

You can just explain that in your family it's not the case.

-Yes, it is. -No.

Yes, it is. My grandfather, my father, and my mother too.

They really believed in it.

I had no idea. They kept it a secret, covered it up.

I never knew my grandfather, my father died shortly after I was born,

and my mother portrayed both of them as saints.

And so did I.

Until...

Well...

But my mother refused to talk about it. So I burned the family album.

It was all just a big lie anyhow.

You never asked.

And I didn't want to tell.

Start chewing.

We have exactly half an hour before the wife starts nagging.

It's seven o'clock in the morning.

What are you doing here anyhow?

-Can I join? -No!

Exactly like in high school.

You and me, sitting in your room, ignoring your siblings

and talking about girls.

Please!

Back then everything was easier.

Back then you weren't aware of the complexities.

I'm hungry!

Liam! I'm trying to sleep!

Yeah.

I'll cover today's shift.

I'm on my way, yeah, no need to yell.

Ok, bye.

Adi?

Are you really ok borrowing the money from your in-laws?

If you're ok with hanging a portrait of my Jewish princess on the wall...

-Ready? -What's that?

You sneaky little fuck.

Bye.

What?

So, yalla, send another one! I can't miss my flight!

How long, you said?

Ok, bye. Bye.

Shira's girlfriend!

Of course... poetic justice.

Hi. Have a good shift.

Going on vacation?

Just a sec.

Sorry, I really can't stay and chat.

-I got to get to the airport. -Good luck with that!

There was a huge accident around the corner. Two trucks.

Don't ask. Everything is blocked.

Didn't you notice the road is almost empty?

I really need to get to the airport. Can you help me?

Of course.

My car is parked right across the accident.

So, trust me, you'll catch your flight.

Thank you, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your help.

I insist on compensating you for your time.

No, no, no, it's okay. My shift is over, and besides...

It's always my pleasure to help a beautiful lady.

No, dad is right, we really insist on paying you for this.

Alright.

You know, it feels like shit now but it gets better.

I doubt that.

Believe me. Been there, regretted that...

No, I don't regret any of it.

Don't be so sad.

It probably means she wasn't the one.

She's definitely the one.

Shit!

I can't leave.

Thank you.

-What? -Petra, please.

-So you're staying? -Hans!

Come on.

Get me the car keys.

Berta?

Take it.

Give it to your German

before you let a good thing get away from you.

Grams...

Don't let a good thing get away from you.

This biblical beauty... You simply can't find it anywhere else.

-It's magical. -Come on, give me a break.

I just really can't cross the green line! Just look at this!

Hans, stop the car! I'm serious, stop the car! I can't do this!

I'm really sorry, but I can't do this.

Have you seen that? They separate Israelis and Palestinians!

Enough! My leg is broken. So you're going to take me to Shira.

Then you can go and make your own decisions about your own lives.

And I'll make mine. Even if they don't make any sense to you.

Exactly!

For the sake of love.

Darling?

But...

Thank God, Mucki.

-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have run away. -No, no, no, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I...

God, I love you, Mucki. So much.

You and me. That's the only thing that matters.

You don't understand. Mom's parents were Nazis.

You Germans sure know how to kill a romantic moment.

We did a good job with her.

We can marry now.

To couples that shouldn't fit

but somehow do.

Cheers.

Grams...

Love is a mess...

A beautiful mess.

And it's a mess worth celebrating.

I'm really happy for the two of you.

Cheers.

And this here settles the issue of who gets the house?

Mom...

I'm really happy for you.

And it's a beautiful, beautiful wedding!

Cheers!

Dear Berta, dear Ibrahim,

congratulations!

People like you are proof that the two-state solution is...

To love!

Dad...

Now would be a good time to climb down the tree.

I know you're busy rubbing my face in this blissful reunion,

but am I the only one concerned they didn't hire a security company?

Weddings are so much fun when they're not yours.

My grandma insisted.

Oh, Schatzi.

Schatzi?

Rhymes with Nazi.

Has potential, right?

Bomb!

You're all fucking racists!

Hey, how was I supposed to know it wasn't a bomb?

Shut up, you racist!

No, no, please! I believe in peace.

Thank God, Mucki!

Subtitling: FAST TITLES MEDIA