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1
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:04,530
You know, Mona,
2
00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:06,073
I gotta say I'm really
liking your new hair.
3
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,053
Yeah, my man likes it, too.
4
00:00:08,138 --> 00:00:10,578
- [Laughter]
- [Woman screams]
5
00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:13,582
- Ooh, that didn't sound good.
- [Tumbling]
6
00:00:13,665 --> 00:00:15,225
And that sounded even worse.
7
00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:20,934
[Laughter]
8
00:00:21,804 --> 00:00:24,894
- Oh, my god! Ma!
- [Laughter]
9
00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:29,725
- Lorenzo: Are you ok?
- Do I look ok?
10
00:00:29,812 --> 00:00:31,602
[Laughter]
11
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:33,253
Phyllis, what happened?
12
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:35,767
Well, costco was having
a toilet paper blowout,
13
00:00:35,861 --> 00:00:37,391
so I bought up every roll.
14
00:00:37,472 --> 00:00:39,472
And after stocking up
my place and Mona's,
15
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:40,821
I was headed up to you,
16
00:00:40,910 --> 00:00:42,470
when suddenly I'm
falling ass over elbow
17
00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,610
- down the steps.
- [Laughter]
18
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,736
Luckily the tissue
broke my fall.
19
00:00:46,829 --> 00:00:48,479
[Laughter]
20
00:00:48,570 --> 00:00:50,830
Good thing costco didn't
have a special on light bulbs.
21
00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,050
- [Laughter]
- [Phyllis groans]
22
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,705
[Moans] Thanks, Dee Dee.
23
00:00:57,796 --> 00:00:59,666
But I can't put any
weight on my ankle.
24
00:00:59,755 --> 00:01:01,535
I think I need to lean
on somebody else.
25
00:01:01,626 --> 00:01:02,976
Somebody sturdier?
26
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,673
Hell no. I need somebody sexier.
27
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,420
- Lorenzo, get over here!
- [Laughter]
28
00:01:07,502 --> 00:01:09,592
[Introductory theme song]
29
00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:14,598
♪ through this
journey of discovery ♪
30
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:19,123
♪ you finding you,
I'm finding me ♪
31
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:22,389
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
32
00:01:22,473 --> 00:01:24,653
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
33
00:01:24,736 --> 00:01:26,476
♪ brings out the
joy inside of me ♪
34
00:01:26,564 --> 00:01:29,314
♪ inside of me ♪
35
00:01:29,393 --> 00:01:31,133
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
36
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:33,621
♪ all we need is lovin' ♪
37
00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:36,882
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
38
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,916
♪ you and me ♪
39
00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:43,411
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
[Ironic laughter]
40
00:01:45,453 --> 00:01:48,333
[Introductory musical note]
41
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:50,942
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ice pack's too cold!
42
00:01:51,023 --> 00:01:53,593
I'm sorry, but I ran out
of sweltering hot ice.
43
00:01:53,678 --> 00:01:55,248
[Laughter]
44
00:01:55,332 --> 00:01:57,202
Don't lash out when
I'm convalescing.
45
00:01:57,291 --> 00:01:59,951
- [Laughter]
- Spencer, a little to the left.
46
00:02:00,032 --> 00:02:02,302
No, baby. My
left. A little higher.
47
00:02:02,383 --> 00:02:04,343
Not that high! Never
mind! I'll do it myself!
48
00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:05,648
[Laughter]
49
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:08,264
You sound like
my date last night.
50
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:10,425
Don't be talking nasty
when I'm convalescing.
51
00:02:10,521 --> 00:02:12,261
[Laughter]
52
00:02:12,349 --> 00:02:14,219
I can't believe I sprained
my ankle and my back
53
00:02:14,308 --> 00:02:15,658
when Glen's out of town,
54
00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:17,314
there's nobody home
to take care of me.
55
00:02:17,398 --> 00:02:18,878
On the plus side,
56
00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:20,884
my daughter's here to
nurse me back to health.
57
00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,966
Yeah, that's the plus side.
58
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:25,615
- [Knock on door]
- Go away! I'm convalescing!
59
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:26,970
[Laughter]
60
00:02:28,104 --> 00:02:29,244
- Hey, Mona.
- Lorenzo.
61
00:02:29,323 --> 00:02:30,563
I just wanted to bring your mom
62
00:02:30,585 --> 00:02:31,845
some "get well" pastries.
63
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:33,494
Well, for heaven's
sake! Let the man in!
64
00:02:34,589 --> 00:02:36,229
I just thought some
sweet, flaky pastry...
65
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:37,736
Yeah, yeah. Less talk
and more tasting. Come on!
66
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:38,976
[Laughter]
67
00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:42,115
Would anyone else
like one... or three?
68
00:02:42,205 --> 00:02:43,415
Not me.
69
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,861
Not only was my
date last night bossy,
70
00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:48,648
she made a crack about
my little... back handles.
71
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:50,213
[Laughter]
72
00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:52,170
[Scoffs] I mean, now, I
know I've worked myself
73
00:02:52,259 --> 00:02:54,349
into a finely ripped
muscle machine,
74
00:02:54,435 --> 00:02:59,265
- but... I'm still sensitive.
- [Laughter]
75
00:02:59,353 --> 00:03:01,443
'Cause these little
places on my back
76
00:03:01,529 --> 00:03:04,139
are all that's left
from when... I was fat.
77
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:05,227
[Laughter]
78
00:03:05,272 --> 00:03:06,712
Oh, yeah!
79
00:03:06,795 --> 00:03:08,245
Didn't the other kids
call you count fatula?
80
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:09,835
[Laughter]
81
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:11,708
I thought it was the
count of monte fatso.
82
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:13,240
[Laughter]
83
00:03:13,323 --> 00:03:15,853
You're both wrong!
It was Dr. Fatenstein!
84
00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:18,154
[Laughter]
85
00:03:18,241 --> 00:03:19,241
Excuse me.
86
00:03:20,548 --> 00:03:21,738
[Breaking up]
Something's in my eye.
87
00:03:21,766 --> 00:03:23,376
[Laughter]
88
00:03:23,464 --> 00:03:24,744
He did warn us he was sensitive.
89
00:03:25,901 --> 00:03:27,731
Yeah. Well, look,
I should get going.
90
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:28,966
I'm glad you like
the pastries, Phyllis.
91
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:30,251
[Mouth full] Thanks, Lorenzo.
92
00:03:30,340 --> 00:03:31,820
[Laughter]
93
00:03:31,907 --> 00:03:33,387
Mona, can I talk
to you in private?
94
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,872
- I could use a favor.
- Oh, what is it?
95
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:44,487
Cetrene, the restaurant
where I was working, closed.
96
00:03:44,572 --> 00:03:46,142
I really need a job,
97
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,356
and city sonoma has an
opening for a pastry chef.
98
00:03:48,445 --> 00:03:50,225
Since your boyfriend's
the owner, I thought
99
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:51,857
maybe you could put
a good word in for me.
100
00:03:51,883 --> 00:03:54,763
Oh, Lorenzo, I'm
not sure about that.
101
00:03:54,843 --> 00:03:56,713
Hey, Lorenzo. Hey, turtle dove.
102
00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,851
I heard about your mother
falling down the stairs.
103
00:03:58,934 --> 00:04:00,414
And you came to see how she was?
104
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,241
No, I came to see
how the steps were.
105
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:05,249
- [Laughter]
- They may be sturdy oak,
106
00:04:05,332 --> 00:04:06,772
but lord knows
if it can withstand
107
00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:08,615
the impact of someone
of your mother's girth.
108
00:04:09,597 --> 00:04:12,117
[Introductory musical note]
109
00:04:12,208 --> 00:04:13,858
I can't believe the
nerve of Lorenzo.
110
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,649
First, he dumps me.
111
00:04:15,733 --> 00:04:17,713
Then he wants me to ask
my boyfriend to give him a job?
112
00:04:17,735 --> 00:04:18,815
Yeah, that'll happen,
113
00:04:18,910 --> 00:04:20,430
when Donald Trump gets cornrows.
114
00:04:20,521 --> 00:04:21,571
[Laughter]
115
00:04:23,872 --> 00:04:25,922
Well, I think you
should help him.
116
00:04:26,004 --> 00:04:28,834
- You do?
- Yes. By not helping him,
117
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,100
it'll appear you're still
bitter from the breakup.
118
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:34,623
- Good. 'Cause I am.
- [Laughter]
119
00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:37,279
Mona, you have to
release all that bitterness,
120
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,374
or else you'll turn
into your mother.
121
00:04:39,453 --> 00:04:42,543
- [Laughter]
- Now you're just being cruel.
122
00:04:42,630 --> 00:04:44,630
Look, it'll be really awkward
123
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:46,849
if my old boyfriend
works for my new one.
124
00:04:46,938 --> 00:04:48,848
- Dee Dee: Why?
- [Mona scoffs]
125
00:04:48,940 --> 00:04:50,900
You dated Lorenzo months ago,
126
00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:53,676
and your relationship
with chase is real.
127
00:04:53,771 --> 00:04:55,381
So you can't even
compare the two.
128
00:04:55,469 --> 00:04:57,039
You have nothing to worry about.
129
00:04:57,122 --> 00:04:58,992
Why do I always worry
when somebody says that?
130
00:04:59,081 --> 00:05:00,521
[Laughter]
131
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,354
Look, Lorenzo is an
excellent pastry chef
132
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:05,093
who really needs a job.
133
00:05:05,174 --> 00:05:06,704
We all know how hard life can be
134
00:05:06,784 --> 00:05:09,224
- for a broke brother.
- [Laughter]
135
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,269
How would you know?
You've never dated one.
136
00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,884
Exactly.
137
00:05:12,964 --> 00:05:14,774
And I don't want one
living across the hall, either.
138
00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:15,922
[Laughter]
139
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:17,881
[Introductory musical note]
140
00:05:19,710 --> 00:05:21,760
Thanks for stopping
by with the goodies.
141
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:23,633
It reminds me:
142
00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:25,354
I need to focus on
choosing a pastry chef.
143
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,152
As soon as I deal with
my backed-up sink.
144
00:05:27,239 --> 00:05:29,499
Actually, I think I
can help with that.
145
00:05:29,590 --> 00:05:32,200
- You'll snake my drain?
- [Laughter]
146
00:05:32,288 --> 00:05:33,938
Tempting, but no.
147
00:05:34,029 --> 00:05:36,209
I was referring to
the pastry chef job.
148
00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:38,562
I think you should really
consider Lorenzo lathen.
149
00:05:38,642 --> 00:05:40,432
He did some great
work at cetrene.
150
00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,394
Well, he's got an
impressive résumé
151
00:05:42,472 --> 00:05:44,822
and he is on my short list.
But how do you know him?
152
00:05:46,171 --> 00:05:49,311
Uh, he lives upstairs. I
know him from the building.
153
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:56,228
- So what do you think?
- About what?
154
00:05:56,312 --> 00:05:57,792
The dessert you're inhaling.
155
00:05:57,879 --> 00:06:00,059
Lorenzo made them and
that's why I brought them.
156
00:06:00,142 --> 00:06:04,492
Hmm. Well, these are
good. Maybe I'll give him a try.
157
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:06,471
I never commit to a chef
until I see what he can do.
158
00:06:06,496 --> 00:06:09,626
Yeah. I'm like that
with boyfriends.
159
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,847
[Laughter]
160
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:15,066
- Well, I'm glad I made the cut.
- [Laughter]
161
00:06:15,157 --> 00:06:16,677
[Introductory musical note]
162
00:06:17,986 --> 00:06:19,806
- [Knock on door]
- Come in!
163
00:06:21,032 --> 00:06:23,302
Hey, Dee Dee. What'cha doing?
164
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,083
Optimizing my
cardiovascular rate
165
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:27,387
while increasing
neuromuscular efficiency.
166
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:29,084
Oh!
167
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:30,521
I thought you were exercising.
168
00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:32,257
[Laughter]
169
00:06:32,348 --> 00:06:33,348
My bad!
170
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:37,481
So, uhm, Spencer,
what brings you by?
171
00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:39,531
[Sighs] Friends don't
need a reason to stop by.
172
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:41,786
I mean, sometimes
friends just show up
173
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:44,579
to hang out and
say, "hey, friend."
174
00:06:44,665 --> 00:06:46,575
[Laughter]
175
00:06:46,667 --> 00:06:49,757
Ok. I need the name of
a good plastic surgeon.
176
00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,244
You see, I got this
friend, right? And...
177
00:06:52,324 --> 00:06:54,414
- [Laughter]
- Ok, it's me.
178
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:55,981
- [Laughter]
- [Scoffs]
179
00:06:56,067 --> 00:06:57,867
But I'm just doing
research on a report for...
180
00:06:58,635 --> 00:07:00,245
[Laughter]
181
00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:02,292
Ok, I'm thinking about
getting a little work done
182
00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:03,858
in the way distant future...
183
00:07:03,945 --> 00:07:05,335
Ok. I got ugly back fat
184
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,075
that needs to be
liposucked away now!
185
00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:10,913
Damn! You women really know
how to interrogate a brother!
186
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:12,255
[Laughter]
187
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,174
Well, Spencer, that
sounds pretty major.
188
00:07:14,259 --> 00:07:15,829
Are you sure about this?
189
00:07:15,913 --> 00:07:17,723
There are other ways to
tone your problem areas.
190
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:20,661
Ugh! I tried it all.
I ran. I crunched.
191
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:22,794
I even did that 48-hour diet.
192
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:24,567
That was the
roughest day of my life.
193
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,791
[Laughter]
194
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:29,671
I just want to be called
Dr. Fatenstein anymore.
195
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,413
I thought they called
you rumplefatskin.
196
00:07:31,494 --> 00:07:32,584
[Laughter]
197
00:07:34,671 --> 00:07:37,241
- [Breaking up] Excuse me.
- [Laughter]
198
00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:39,416
[Introductory musical note]
199
00:07:39,502 --> 00:07:41,032
When you finish
fluffing my pillows,
200
00:07:41,112 --> 00:07:42,462
you can shave my legs.
201
00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:45,599
- These bad boys get bristly.
- [Laughter]
202
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:47,862
- [Knock on door]
- There is a god!
203
00:07:47,945 --> 00:07:49,245
[Laughter]
204
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,170
- Hello.
- Hey.
205
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:54,304
Well, if it isn't Tom
thumb and Paula bunyan.
206
00:07:54,386 --> 00:07:55,516
[Laughter]
207
00:07:55,605 --> 00:07:57,125
Phyllis, sorry you've gone lame.
208
00:07:57,215 --> 00:07:58,775
If no one else volunteers,
209
00:07:58,869 --> 00:08:00,499
I'll be happy to put you
down. Charles, get my gun.
210
00:08:00,523 --> 00:08:02,533
- [Laughter]
- Truce, ladies.
211
00:08:02,612 --> 00:08:03,932
Phyllis, we just
wanted to stop by
212
00:08:04,005 --> 00:08:05,045
and see how you are.
213
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:07,266
You did? Why?
214
00:08:07,356 --> 00:08:09,576
Because we're concerned
about your well-being.
215
00:08:09,663 --> 00:08:11,553
And we'd like you to sign
this completely standard
216
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,058
"no big deal" liability waiver.
217
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,454
[Laughter]
218
00:08:14,537 --> 00:08:16,797
Oh, that's what's
really going on.
219
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,317
I knew you had
an ulterior motive,
220
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:20,940
- you pigmy slumlord.
- [Laughter]
221
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,812
How dare you speak
to him that way!
222
00:08:22,893 --> 00:08:24,353
It's not Charles' fault that
the carpet on the stairs
223
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:25,943
was loose.
224
00:08:26,027 --> 00:08:27,327
The carpet was loose?
225
00:08:27,419 --> 00:08:28,939
Did I say that?
226
00:08:29,030 --> 00:08:30,360
Pay no attention to
me. I'm very, very drunk.
227
00:08:30,379 --> 00:08:31,859
[Laughter]
228
00:08:32,990 --> 00:08:35,390
- I thought you had that fixed!
- Well, I just hadn't decided
229
00:08:35,427 --> 00:08:37,427
what pattern to replace it with.
230
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:39,077
Well, that kind of negligence
231
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:41,300
can have serious
legal repercussions.
232
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:42,870
Hold on. No use
getting crazy here.
233
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:44,517
Crazy? What does
crazy really mean?
234
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:45,941
Maybe I'll call my
lawyer and find out.
235
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,400
[Laughter]
236
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:48,723
The only thing your
lawyer's gonna tell you
237
00:08:48,745 --> 00:08:50,145
is to sign that
completely standard,
238
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:51,551
- no liability...
- Charles, let's go
239
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:52,734
before she owns
the whole building.
240
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:53,749
[Laughter]
241
00:08:55,230 --> 00:08:56,970
- Can you believe them?
- [Door closes]
242
00:08:57,058 --> 00:08:58,888
I know. I got 'em
right where I want 'em.
243
00:08:58,973 --> 00:09:01,543
- This is gonna be fun!
- [Knock on door]
244
00:09:02,759 --> 00:09:05,239
I've come bearing
food for my lovely ladies.
245
00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:07,547
Now, he is what I call a keeper.
246
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,114
Smart, successful, handsome
247
00:09:10,201 --> 00:09:12,001
and secure enough to
hire his girlfriend's ex.
248
00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:16,294
- [Lament murmurs]
- I hired your ex?
249
00:09:16,381 --> 00:09:18,101
I thought you said Lorenzo
was just your neighbor?
250
00:09:18,122 --> 00:09:22,262
He is. We also may
have gone on a few dates.
251
00:09:22,344 --> 00:09:23,954
You lied to me.
252
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,721
No, not technically. I
just left out that one fact
253
00:09:25,739 --> 00:09:27,149
'cause I didn't think
our previous relationship
254
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:28,755
was important. And
if it helps you at all,
255
00:09:28,785 --> 00:09:31,305
- it ended really badly.
- [Laughter]
256
00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:33,566
Look, all I know is
257
00:09:33,660 --> 00:09:35,100
you didn't tell me
the whole truth,
258
00:09:35,183 --> 00:09:37,103
and now I'm stuck working
with your ex-boyfriend.
259
00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,230
[Lament murmurs]
260
00:09:41,755 --> 00:09:43,035
He didn't know
that part, did he?
261
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:44,760
[Laughter]
262
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:47,015
Well, thanks to
you, he does now.
263
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:48,478
Well, go ahead and
hit me if you want.
264
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:50,070
I'm on pain meds.
I won't feel it.
265
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:51,424
[Laughter]
266
00:09:53,070 --> 00:09:54,290
Nothin'.
267
00:09:54,376 --> 00:09:55,506
[Laughter]
268
00:09:58,162 --> 00:09:59,862
[Introductory musical note]
269
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:03,953
Ok, Spence. The first
thing we're gonna do
270
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:05,738
is check out those problem spots
271
00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,692
under the best
possible lighting.
272
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,171
Thanks.
273
00:10:09,260 --> 00:10:11,130
I'd ask Mona, but she
doesn't understand.
274
00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:13,529
Plus, her bathroom's
lit by a broken heat lamp
275
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,793
- and a sponge-Bob nightlight.
- [Laughter]
276
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,837
Now, I also took the
Liberty of inviting someone
277
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,674
who knows more
about cosmetic surgery
278
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,232
than anybody on the planet.
279
00:10:24,319 --> 00:10:26,669
Hello, hello! Ok, Spencer,
280
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,666
naked to the waist. Chop-chop!
281
00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:29,978
Mother!
282
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:31,414
Oh, don't be a
prude, little Dee.
283
00:10:31,500 --> 00:10:33,070
The body is a beautiful thing.
284
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,554
Although I may have
spoken too soon.
285
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:36,070
[Laughter]
286
00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:39,157
Ok, we're gonna need
Dr. Clyne for here...
287
00:10:39,247 --> 00:10:41,727
And here... ugh!
288
00:10:41,815 --> 00:10:44,075
- And definitely here.
- [Laughter]
289
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:46,645
Wait, wait, wait, wait! I
only need help with one spot.
290
00:10:46,733 --> 00:10:48,343
One? [Laughs]
291
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:51,390
Don't be silly. Look
at this! And this!
292
00:10:51,476 --> 00:10:52,866
And what in god's name is this?
293
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:54,346
[Laughter]
294
00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:56,786
- Mona: Anybody home?
- In here, honeysuckle!
295
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:57,873
[Laughter]
296
00:10:58,919 --> 00:11:00,089
I gotta say, Spence,
297
00:11:00,181 --> 00:11:01,461
those are some
cheap-ass tattoos.
298
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,400
[Laughter]
299
00:11:03,488 --> 00:11:05,058
That's it! I'm outta here!
300
00:11:05,142 --> 00:11:06,422
I'll talk to you later, Dee Dee.
301
00:11:06,448 --> 00:11:08,278
Wait! I missed
a couple of flaws!
302
00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:09,363
[Laughter]
303
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,450
I have a bone to pick with you.
304
00:11:12,541 --> 00:11:14,671
- About what?
- Because of your advice,
305
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:16,371
I got chase to hire Lorenzo,
306
00:11:16,458 --> 00:11:18,768
and now things are really
awkward and tense between us.
307
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:21,722
Why would things be awk... wait.
308
00:11:21,811 --> 00:11:24,991
You did tell chase you
dated Lorenzo, right?
309
00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:27,855
- Not exactly.
- [Laughter]
310
00:11:27,948 --> 00:11:29,728
Well, that's on you.
311
00:11:29,819 --> 00:11:31,599
Now he pretty much
thinks I lied to him.
312
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,561
Well, you pretty much did!
313
00:11:33,649 --> 00:11:35,429
Why would you try
to keep that from him?
314
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:38,130
Because I never know how
much of my past to reveal,
315
00:11:38,219 --> 00:11:40,219
especially in a new
relationship, and...
316
00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:42,138
I was afraid that chase
might read too much
317
00:11:42,223 --> 00:11:44,493
into me dating
Lorenzo and pull away.
318
00:11:44,573 --> 00:11:46,843
Which is exactly what happened.
319
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,473
Well, what good is
lying to protect yourself
320
00:11:48,490 --> 00:11:50,320
- if it doesn't protect you?
- [Laughter]
321
00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:53,974
Look, Mona, the only
way to fix this mess
322
00:11:54,061 --> 00:11:56,851
is to tell chase
the whole truth.
323
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,503
And fix the lighting
in your bathroom!
324
00:11:59,588 --> 00:12:01,758
- It really does explain a lot.
- [Laughter]
325
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:07,864
[Introductory musical note]
326
00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,574
So, Phyllis, how do
you like the truffles?
327
00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,168
And the cooling gel eye mask?
328
00:12:11,252 --> 00:12:12,862
And this nice, new
cashmere blanket?
329
00:12:12,949 --> 00:12:14,299
I love it.
330
00:12:14,385 --> 00:12:15,535
But could you get me
another one in green
331
00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:16,910
so it won't clash with my eyes?
332
00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:18,297
[Laughter]
333
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:21,519
- Of course!
- [Laughter]
334
00:12:21,610 --> 00:12:23,450
Like she knows the
meaning of the word "clash."
335
00:12:24,134 --> 00:12:25,834
Now, dear, we just
need you to sign
336
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:28,009
right on the dotted
line this liability release.
337
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:30,615
Oh, I'm sorry. I'm still a
little shaky from the fall.
338
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,616
Not that I blame you,
but my lawyer does.
339
00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:37,098
What was that term he used?
Oh, yeah. "Punitive damages."
340
00:12:37,191 --> 00:12:39,541
- [Laughter]
- Now, listen, you...
341
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:42,628
- Uhhhhh...
- [Laughter]
342
00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:45,068
You poor injured soul.
343
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:47,105
We just wanna make things right.
344
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:50,071
Yes. There must be some
way we can ease your pain.
345
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,770
Well... I can
think of one thing.
346
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,428
[Laughter]
347
00:12:56,950 --> 00:13:00,520
Mmm. I've always
dreamt of being in this tub.
348
00:13:00,605 --> 00:13:02,735
Funny. Seeing you in
any tub is my nightmare.
349
00:13:02,825 --> 00:13:04,215
[Laughter]
350
00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:06,305
Whoo! These jets are great!
351
00:13:06,394 --> 00:13:08,744
You don't know how
awful back pain is.
352
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:10,751
I think I do since I
carried you up here.
353
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:12,403
[Laughter]
354
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:14,837
There now. I will
just leave you to do...
355
00:13:14,924 --> 00:13:16,274
Oh! One more thing.
356
00:13:16,360 --> 00:13:18,100
Since my movement is so limited,
357
00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:20,228
- could you wash my hair?
- [Laughter]
358
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:25,279
[Soft song]
359
00:13:28,851 --> 00:13:29,851
Lorenzo!
360
00:13:31,071 --> 00:13:33,421
We need to talk
about your brioche.
361
00:13:33,508 --> 00:13:35,988
Tonight's taste of France
was to get people to like us,
362
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,986
not to give them more
reason to hate the French.
363
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:39,948
- [Laughter]
- You liked them before.
364
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:41,776
Well, the other
ones were edible.
365
00:13:41,864 --> 00:13:43,614
[Laughter]
366
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,712
You know, you've criticized
everything I've done tonight.
367
00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:46,867
What's up?
368
00:13:46,956 --> 00:13:48,826
Look, I just need my pastry chef
369
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:50,755
to make something that
won't require a stomach pump.
370
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,696
- [Laughter]
- Cool.
371
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:53,828
[Song continues]
372
00:13:56,357 --> 00:13:58,747
- Hey.
- Hey, Mona.
373
00:13:59,664 --> 00:14:02,284
You know, chase, you really
shouldn't mistreat Lorenzo
374
00:14:02,363 --> 00:14:04,103
just 'cause I used to date him.
375
00:14:04,191 --> 00:14:05,581
It's not what I'm doing.
376
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,332
- Ok, it is.
- [Laughter]
377
00:14:09,761 --> 00:14:12,461
It's sweet that you're jealous,
but there's no reason to be.
378
00:14:12,547 --> 00:14:13,677
Yeah, there is.
379
00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:15,045
He used to date
the woman I love.
380
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:17,900
You...
381
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:19,077
Do you love me?
382
00:14:20,250 --> 00:14:23,210
- I thought it was obvious.
- Not to me.
383
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,057
But then obvious often
sails right over my head
384
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:26,391
and gets tangled up in my hair.
385
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:27,654
[Laughter]
386
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:31,215
And I believe this is
where you say you love me.
387
00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:33,435
- You do love me, right?
- Ohh!
388
00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,919
In the spirit of
tonight's theme, I say...
389
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,527
[Speaking French] Oui!
Not only because I mean it,
390
00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:42,028
but because the only
other French word I know
391
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:44,355
- is "croissant."
- [Laughter]
392
00:14:46,798 --> 00:14:48,708
Oh. Wait, wait.
393
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:53,200
Before I forget why I
came, I wanted to apologize
394
00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:56,243
for not telling you the
whole truth about Lorenzo.
395
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,900
I just wasn't sure if you
would take it the wrong way.
396
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:01,025
- I'm sorry.
- I appreciate that.
397
00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:05,027
And I'll lighten up on Lorenzo.
398
00:15:05,121 --> 00:15:07,991
After all, I guess
his loss is my gain.
399
00:15:08,081 --> 00:15:10,001
Really?
400
00:15:10,083 --> 00:15:12,873
I don't think I've ever been
somebody's gain before.
401
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:14,995
- I like it.
- [Laughter]
402
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,832
[Introductory musical note]
403
00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:21,749
[Door opens]
404
00:15:21,833 --> 00:15:24,183
- Oh! Hey, daddy.
- Hey.
405
00:15:25,402 --> 00:15:27,452
What are you doing here?
406
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:29,745
Still trying to get Phyllis
to sign this release.
407
00:15:29,841 --> 00:15:31,151
That's why she's
in your spa tub.
408
00:15:32,322 --> 00:15:33,682
She thought it
would help her back.
409
00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:36,408
- Your mom's in there, too.
- She is?
410
00:15:36,500 --> 00:15:39,460
- [Laughter]
- How's that going?
411
00:15:39,547 --> 00:15:41,067
- [Water splashing]
- [Phyllis screams]
412
00:15:41,157 --> 00:15:42,697
Phyllis: What the hell
are you trying to do?
413
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:43,994
Apparently not too good.
414
00:15:44,073 --> 00:15:45,163
[Laughter]
415
00:15:47,859 --> 00:15:49,949
[Humming and laughter]
416
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,516
Well, the good news
is Phyllis is clean.
417
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:54,083
The bad news is
418
00:15:54,170 --> 00:15:55,970
she can hold her breath
longer than I thought.
419
00:15:56,042 --> 00:15:57,042
[Laughter]
420
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:03,752
[Introductory musical note]
421
00:16:03,832 --> 00:16:05,512
First, they try to kill
me with the stairs,
422
00:16:05,529 --> 00:16:07,449
and now she tries to
drown me. Well, I've had it.
423
00:16:07,488 --> 00:16:08,808
No more "miss
nice," "miss patient,"
424
00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:10,267
"miss forgiving."
425
00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,580
- That shouldn't be a stretch.
- [Laughter]
426
00:16:13,842 --> 00:16:15,542
What happened now?
427
00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:17,316
My mother tried
to kill your mother.
428
00:16:17,411 --> 00:16:19,011
Frankly, I'm surprised
it took this long.
429
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:20,675
[Laughter]
430
00:16:20,762 --> 00:16:22,022
Do I look fat?
431
00:16:22,111 --> 00:16:24,511
If I say yes, will
you stop asking me?
432
00:16:24,592 --> 00:16:25,992
Mona, this is serious.
433
00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:27,512
I'm a pork chop
away from Monique.
434
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:31,123
Ooh! Pork chops! Now I'm hungry!
435
00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:33,597
[Laughter]
436
00:16:33,688 --> 00:16:35,748
I'll show them Phyllis Thorne
won't take this lying down!
437
00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:37,517
I'm gonna sue them
for everything they got.
438
00:16:39,041 --> 00:16:41,481
Nice evening, isn't
it, ladies? Phyllis.
439
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:43,645
Get out before I get
a restraining order
440
00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:46,051
along with the trespassing
charges I'm filing against you.
441
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:48,235
And you might as well hand
over those diamond earrings now,
442
00:16:48,268 --> 00:16:50,228
'cause when I'm done,
it's all gonna be mine.
443
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:51,453
[Laughter]
444
00:16:52,794 --> 00:16:54,474
That's what I love about
you, phyll. You're plucky.
445
00:16:54,491 --> 00:16:56,151
Unfortunately, you're
also out of "lucky."
446
00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:59,374
What the hell are
you talking about?
447
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:01,373
This broken heel. Look familiar?
448
00:17:01,455 --> 00:17:03,365
It's yours. I found
it in the hallway.
449
00:17:03,457 --> 00:17:04,677
I thought it was Dee Dee's
450
00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:06,202
until I saw it came
from pay-less.
451
00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:08,026
[Laughter]
452
00:17:08,114 --> 00:17:10,734
- That doesn't prove it's mine.
- No, but the calico fur ball
453
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,512
that was stuck to
the bottom does.
454
00:17:12,596 --> 00:17:14,286
[Laughter]
455
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,211
Cat hair and cheap
shoes. The jig's up, ma.
456
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:17,646
[Laughter]
457
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,732
Oh, fine. The heel's
mine. What about it?
458
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:21,911
It was this hairy
heel giving way
459
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:24,167
under your crushing weight
that caused you to fall,
460
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:25,610
not the carpet.
461
00:17:25,696 --> 00:17:27,656
And you've known
this whole time.
462
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:29,702
- Isn't that right?
- [Laughter]
463
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:34,231
So, you let innocent
people take the blame
464
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:37,624
and deviously manipulated
everything to your advantage?
465
00:17:37,708 --> 00:17:39,578
Wow. You and my mom
do have a lot in common.
466
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,407
[Laughter]
467
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:42,535
[Both] Bite your tongue!
468
00:17:42,626 --> 00:17:43,886
[Laughter]
469
00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,409
What are you doing?
470
00:17:46,500 --> 00:17:49,330
Taking back everything
Charles and I gave you.
471
00:17:49,416 --> 00:17:51,676
- Gimme that!
- [Phyllis groans]
472
00:17:51,766 --> 00:17:52,766
[Laughter]
473
00:17:54,203 --> 00:17:56,643
Well, you can't take my dignity.
474
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,097
I think you lost that
when you decided
475
00:17:58,120 --> 00:17:59,600
- to keep your mustache.
- [Laughter]
476
00:18:00,949 --> 00:18:02,469
[Humming]
477
00:18:02,559 --> 00:18:03,819
[Door closes]
478
00:18:05,388 --> 00:18:07,168
[Introductory musical note]
479
00:18:08,304 --> 00:18:09,354
[Knock on door]
480
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:14,481
Hey there, you
sexy... Oh! Lorenzo!
481
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,831
I thought you were
chase. He's sexy, not you.
482
00:18:16,921 --> 00:18:19,841
I mean, you are, but not
to me since I'm with chase.
483
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:21,754
So... [nervous laughter] Hi.
484
00:18:21,839 --> 00:18:23,889
[Laughter]
485
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:25,762
Mona, I quit my job at sonoma.
486
00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:27,893
After everything I
went through? Why?
487
00:18:27,976 --> 00:18:29,976
Look, I do appreciate
what you did,
488
00:18:30,065 --> 00:18:32,715
but working closely with
chase just isn't a good idea.
489
00:18:32,807 --> 00:18:34,587
I made a big mistake.
490
00:18:34,678 --> 00:18:37,588
Yeah. I guess you should have
never asked me for that favor.
491
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:40,863
No, the mistake
was letting you go.
492
00:18:40,945 --> 00:18:42,505
[Cheerful humming]
493
00:18:43,948 --> 00:18:46,128
- Come again?
- [Laughter]
494
00:18:47,561 --> 00:18:48,711
All these months I've
had to pass you in the hall
495
00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:50,256
have been agony...
496
00:18:50,346 --> 00:18:51,626
Knowing that I blew it with you.
497
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:54,407
I've wasted enough
time thinking about us
498
00:18:54,437 --> 00:18:55,437
and not acting on it.
499
00:18:57,353 --> 00:19:01,053
- You've been thinking about us?
- Yes.
500
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,580
I shouldn't have
messed up with you.
501
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:03,703
I plan on correcting that.
502
00:19:05,013 --> 00:19:07,193
- Hey, sweetie.
- Hey.
503
00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:09,016
Hey, Lorenzo.
504
00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:11,594
You sure you won't
reconsider your resignation?
505
00:19:11,672 --> 00:19:13,942
Sorry. I've got some personal
issues I need to work on.
506
00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:15,422
Hey, you gotta do
what you gotta do.
507
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:19,289
Well, Mona and I are late,
so we'll see you around.
508
00:19:19,375 --> 00:19:20,375
Later.
509
00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:23,248
[Soft song]
510
00:19:24,293 --> 00:19:26,013
I hope everything works
out for you, though, man.
511
00:19:26,034 --> 00:19:27,124
You and me both.
512
00:19:28,123 --> 00:19:29,303
[Song continues]
513
00:19:41,136 --> 00:19:42,486
[Song fades]
514
00:19:44,052 --> 00:19:46,362
I gotta be honest, Dee Dee.
515
00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:48,396
I'm scared about having surgery.
516
00:19:49,536 --> 00:19:51,576
I'll be honest, too.
517
00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:53,278
You don't need it.
518
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:54,926
I think you have
a bad body image
519
00:19:55,019 --> 00:19:57,669
because you used to be
fat. And now you're depressed
520
00:19:57,761 --> 00:19:59,591
over a string of
failed relationships...
521
00:19:59,676 --> 00:20:02,236
I wouldn't exactly
call it a string.
522
00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:04,121
- Ok, it's a whole damn spool.
- [Laughter]
523
00:20:05,943 --> 00:20:07,733
You really think that's it?
524
00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:10,335
Yes. Nothing is
wrong with your body.
525
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:11,986
[Sighs] Good.
526
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:13,210
Then I can look forward
527
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,649
to taking my shirt off in public
528
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,945
as soon as the permanent
marker wears off.
529
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:18,391
By the way, how
long is permanent?
530
00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:19,648
[Laughter]
531
00:20:27,922 --> 00:20:29,972
[Introductory theme song]
532
00:20:30,022 --> 00:20:34,572
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