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1
00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:05,085
Now, I know you're wondering
why I gathered you here today.
2
00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:06,879
I have an announcement to make.
3
00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:08,703
You're engaged
to a tall, rich athlete.
4
00:00:08,791 --> 00:00:09,901
I haven't given
you enough credit.
5
00:00:09,922 --> 00:00:11,012
Let me see the rock.
6
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:13,098
[Laughter]
7
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,927
I'm not engaged, mother.
8
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,665
- You got fired.
- What did I tell you?
9
00:00:16,755 --> 00:00:18,185
I'll tell you what I told you.
10
00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:20,279
I told you your job
was too good to be true.
11
00:00:20,368 --> 00:00:21,928
I get the Sunday
coupons for you later.
12
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,112
I keep extras in the car.
13
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:26,108
You know, this isn't
nearly as much fun
14
00:00:26,200 --> 00:00:27,720
as I thought it would be.
15
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:30,200
Mona, care to dump
any rain on my parade?
16
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,881
Are you announcing
you've gotten so skinny
17
00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:33,381
you've started
shopping at gap kids?
18
00:00:33,468 --> 00:00:35,378
- [Laughter]
- No.
19
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:37,300
Then I'm good.
20
00:00:37,385 --> 00:00:39,335
Well, what I wanted to say
21
00:00:39,430 --> 00:00:41,220
is that I'm going to be a guest
22
00:00:41,302 --> 00:00:43,302
on sports beat
with Rodney peete.
23
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,349
Mona: The show that
you TiVo all the time?
24
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:48,437
- How did you swing that?
- Dwight Mitchell,
25
00:00:48,526 --> 00:00:49,956
the basketball player I signed,
26
00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,960
was a guest and he talked me up.
27
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:55,582
Plus they wanted to highlight
young female sports agents
28
00:00:55,664 --> 00:00:56,954
and, well, I was the
only one they could find.
29
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:58,449
[Laughter]
30
00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,056
Another star in the family.
31
00:01:00,147 --> 00:01:01,887
We'll be like Goldie
hawn and Kate Hudson.
32
00:01:03,106 --> 00:01:05,166
You and Goldie certainly get
your lips from the same place.
33
00:01:05,195 --> 00:01:07,195
[Laughter]
34
00:01:07,284 --> 00:01:09,114
I think this will be
a great opportunity
35
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:10,849
for me to discuss
the role of women
36
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:12,510
in a male-dominated arena.
37
00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,424
And feel free to
mention your older sister
38
00:01:14,509 --> 00:01:16,179
and the positive
influence she's had on you
39
00:01:16,206 --> 00:01:18,076
becoming the strong
woman that you are.
40
00:01:18,165 --> 00:01:19,785
All of which she learned
from her inspiring,
41
00:01:19,818 --> 00:01:21,078
courageous mother,
42
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,448
so feel free to talk about that.
43
00:01:23,431 --> 00:01:24,951
You certainly are courageous.
44
00:01:25,041 --> 00:01:27,131
Your willingness to wear
sleeveless tops in summer
45
00:01:27,217 --> 00:01:29,347
- proves that.
- [Laughter]
46
00:01:29,437 --> 00:01:31,527
[Introductory theme song]
47
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:36,793
♪ through this
journey of discovery ♪
48
00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:41,139
♪ you finding you,
I'm finding me ♪
49
00:01:41,231 --> 00:01:44,231
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
50
00:01:44,321 --> 00:01:45,981
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
51
00:01:46,062 --> 00:01:48,412
♪ brings out the
joy inside of me ♪
52
00:01:48,499 --> 00:01:50,759
♪ inside of me ♪
53
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:53,029
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
54
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,593
♪ all we need is lovin' ♪
55
00:01:55,680 --> 00:01:58,550
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
56
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:00,950
♪ you and me ♪
57
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:05,263
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
[Ironic laughter]
58
00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:08,261
[Introductory musical note]
59
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:15,217
I'll admit I had concerns
60
00:02:15,309 --> 00:02:17,439
signing a famous
party girl socialite
61
00:02:17,528 --> 00:02:18,958
with no singing experience,
62
00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:20,711
but dalis, your single
"what's up y'all,"
63
00:02:20,792 --> 00:02:22,752
- it's hot.
- Hotter than my sex tape?
64
00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:24,098
[Laughter]
65
00:02:24,187 --> 00:02:26,617
Well, let's not
get carried away.
66
00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:28,241
I took the Liberty
of preparing you
67
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:30,372
a half-decaf double-tall soy
68
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:34,024
180 degree extra-foamy
caramel machiatto.
69
00:02:34,110 --> 00:02:36,260
I thought demille would need
to do her business about now.
70
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:37,806
I'd be happy to
take her for a walk.
71
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:40,676
- You'd do that for me?
- I'd do anything for you.
72
00:02:40,769 --> 00:02:43,209
Ah, I haven't heard
that since this morning.
73
00:02:43,293 --> 00:02:44,513
[Laughter]
74
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,597
Well, now that I've
approved the single,
75
00:02:47,689 --> 00:02:49,079
Mona and Spencer
will fill you in
76
00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,209
on the concept
for the video shoot.
77
00:02:51,301 --> 00:02:53,131
I can't believe how hard
you guys are working.
78
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:56,351
Hey, you're a top priority.
79
00:02:56,437 --> 00:02:58,397
We want to nurture your
career for the long-term.
80
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:02,138
Get this video done fast.
81
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:03,325
You know how quickly
these little white girls
82
00:03:03,357 --> 00:03:05,187
- go out of style.
- [Laughter]
83
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,933
So, dalis, I think you'll like
84
00:03:08,013 --> 00:03:09,623
what we have in
mind for the video.
85
00:03:09,711 --> 00:03:11,231
Spencer: The opening is tight.
86
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:13,581
Picture it... the music starts,
87
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,201
you're strutting
down the street.
88
00:03:15,282 --> 00:03:16,722
Suddenly, as the beat kicks in,
89
00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:18,435
you're surrounded by
hundreds of yourself.
90
00:03:18,459 --> 00:03:19,939
Everywhere you
look, there you are.
91
00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:22,585
You're all looking into pink
diamond compact mirrors.
92
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,070
My god! It's perfect. The
only thing better than me
93
00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:26,381
is lots of me.
94
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,597
[Laughter]
95
00:03:27,685 --> 00:03:29,425
I had a feeling you'd love it.
96
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:31,693
And, Spencer, I love
the trailer you got for me.
97
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:33,736
I can't believe you found one
98
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:36,352
with a spa, a sun bed,
and a suede interior.
99
00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,703
We want our star to be
happy no matter how many
100
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:41,003
- dead cows it takes.
- [Laughter]
101
00:03:41,090 --> 00:03:42,920
I've returned, successful.
102
00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:44,345
Although if
anyone's walking out,
103
00:03:44,441 --> 00:03:45,771
I'd avoid the north
side of the lobby.
104
00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,140
[Laughter]
105
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,047
So, dalis, we'll see
you in a few days.
106
00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:50,751
I'll escort you to your car.
107
00:03:50,839 --> 00:03:52,059
I've called your driver.
108
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,284
Thanks. He's like
the most helpful guy
109
00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:55,544
I've never slept with.
110
00:03:55,626 --> 00:03:56,796
[Laughter]
111
00:03:57,846 --> 00:03:59,936
You know, there's something
different about Adam
112
00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:02,852
- when he's around dalis.
- He does his job?
113
00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:04,028
Yeah, that's it.
114
00:04:04,113 --> 00:04:05,163
[Laughter]
115
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:06,935
[Introductory musical note]
116
00:04:11,163 --> 00:04:12,663
When you're on sports
beat with Rodney peete,
117
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,297
you're representing gmg.
118
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:15,864
So make sure you know your stuff
119
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,281
so you don't embarrass
the company, ok?
120
00:04:17,300 --> 00:04:18,780
I know what to say, Brett.
121
00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,257
Fine!
122
00:04:20,347 --> 00:04:22,107
I'm just saying, Rodney
peete is a sharp guy.
123
00:04:22,174 --> 00:04:23,574
He'll call you on it
124
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:25,024
if you don't know what
you're talking about.
125
00:04:25,047 --> 00:04:27,307
If I were you, I
would just play it safe,
126
00:04:27,397 --> 00:04:28,917
stick to complimenting his wife.
127
00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:31,877
Like, after four
kids, she's still hot.
128
00:04:31,967 --> 00:04:33,317
[Laughter]
129
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:36,795
Dee Dee: I'm not sure talking
about how hot his wife is
130
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,445
is the way to go,
131
00:04:38,539 --> 00:04:40,389
but I will mention the
book she wrote on football.
132
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:41,630
It's become my second Bible.
133
00:04:41,716 --> 00:04:43,066
[Laughter]
134
00:04:43,152 --> 00:04:44,592
'Cause that's not
kissing his ass.
135
00:04:44,675 --> 00:04:45,845
[Laughter]
136
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:49,285
Don't worry. I've
got it handled.
137
00:04:50,551 --> 00:04:51,551
Brett: Ok, I'm just...
138
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:53,899
[laughter]
139
00:04:55,251 --> 00:04:56,431
I'm just saying,
140
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:57,823
this interview is
a very big step
141
00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,386
for chick agents,
142
00:04:59,473 --> 00:05:02,173
so don't act like...
Well, a chick and blow it.
143
00:05:02,258 --> 00:05:04,088
[Laughter]
144
00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:06,483
Dee Dee: First of
all, we're women.
145
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:08,657
And maybe, just maybe,
146
00:05:08,743 --> 00:05:11,353
you're jealous because
this woman is doing the show
147
00:05:11,441 --> 00:05:12,831
and you're not.
148
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:16,141
Please. I did my first TV
interview when I was 18.
149
00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:17,798
My only concern here is...
150
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:19,102
[laughter]
151
00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,758
Is you.
152
00:05:20,842 --> 00:05:22,122
I don't want to see you
make a fool of yourself
153
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:23,447
in front of millions of people.
154
00:05:24,976 --> 00:05:28,196
Brett, the only person
making a fool of themselves
155
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:30,944
is you trying to
keep up with me.
156
00:05:31,026 --> 00:05:32,326
[Laughter]
157
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:38,245
[Introductory musical note]
158
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,858
[Phone ringing in background]
159
00:05:39,948 --> 00:05:41,648
Hey, Spencer, do
know where Adam is?
160
00:05:41,732 --> 00:05:43,302
Usually he's in the break room
161
00:05:43,386 --> 00:05:44,826
taking bites out of
people's lunches.
162
00:05:44,909 --> 00:05:46,429
[Laughter]
163
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:48,610
Dalis called me last night
for a personal assistant.
164
00:05:48,696 --> 00:05:50,606
Since Adam doesn't do
any work around here,
165
00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:52,738
I volunteered him.
166
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,220
But, who's gonna
answer the phones?
167
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:56,880
Same person who
always does... not Adam.
168
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,265
[Laughter]
169
00:05:58,358 --> 00:05:59,968
I can't believe you'd do this
170
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:01,445
without consulting me.
171
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,705
Hey, I am v.P. Of marketing.
172
00:06:03,798 --> 00:06:05,838
Dalis is used to being
treated a certain way.
173
00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:07,540
She got a new Mercedes,
174
00:06:07,628 --> 00:06:09,368
just for being seen
passed out in one.
175
00:06:10,631 --> 00:06:12,441
We can't afford to
spoil our artists like that.
176
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:14,199
Dalis isn't like
our other artists.
177
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:16,046
True. Our other artists
actually have talent.
178
00:06:17,289 --> 00:06:18,769
Ladies and gentlemen,
boys and girls,
179
00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:20,726
may I present dalis?
180
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:22,855
No eye contact, please.
That includes the dog.
181
00:06:22,947 --> 00:06:24,507
[Laughter]
182
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,171
What's up, y'all?
183
00:06:26,255 --> 00:06:27,945
Hey, dalis, we were actually...
184
00:06:28,039 --> 00:06:30,089
Enough with the small
talk. We're here on business.
185
00:06:30,172 --> 00:06:32,392
I don't know if I can
take this seriously
186
00:06:32,479 --> 00:06:34,239
from someone whose
idea of working is reloading
187
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:36,223
- the stapler.
- [Laughs hysterically]
188
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:38,398
- Well, believe it, sister.
- [Laughter]
189
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:40,565
Something very important
has come to our attention.
190
00:06:40,661 --> 00:06:43,011
A radio junket dalis is
scheduled to do tomorrow
191
00:06:43,098 --> 00:06:44,708
begins at 4 A.M.
192
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:47,015
[Sucking teeth] We
find that unacceptable.
193
00:06:47,102 --> 00:06:48,972
Yeah! Who knew to
be on the radio at 7:00
194
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:51,630
on the east coast means
being up at 4:00 on the west?
195
00:06:51,715 --> 00:06:53,625
Really, that's just stupid.
196
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,107
[Laughter]
197
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,937
That's stupid? I'll
tell you what's stupid.
198
00:06:57,025 --> 00:06:58,455
Not doing the radio junket.
199
00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:00,718
[Stutters] What I think
Mona is trying to say is
200
00:07:00,811 --> 00:07:02,441
doing radio is important
to get the word out
201
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:03,675
about your single.
202
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,821
Please! We're
talking about dalis.
203
00:07:05,903 --> 00:07:07,193
People are aware
of her every move.
204
00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:08,689
We want them to be aware
205
00:07:08,776 --> 00:07:10,726
that she's making
moves with her clothes on.
206
00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:12,211
[Laughter]
207
00:07:12,301 --> 00:07:15,001
What Mona is saying
is not everybody knows
208
00:07:15,086 --> 00:07:16,386
you crossed over into music.
209
00:07:16,479 --> 00:07:17,869
The publicity
can help with that.
210
00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:19,719
What I'm saying is
dalis is doing the junket.
211
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:21,877
What I think Mona
is trying to say is
212
00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:23,273
we'd really like you to do this.
213
00:07:23,355 --> 00:07:24,955
Stop arguing mom
and dad. It's Christmas!
214
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:26,269
[Laughter]
215
00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:27,708
Sorry. Flashback.
216
00:07:27,795 --> 00:07:29,185
[Phone ringing in background]
217
00:07:29,274 --> 00:07:30,844
Spencer: Look, dalis,
218
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,338
is there anything we can
do to change your mind?
219
00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:34,154
I don't know, it is early,
220
00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:36,236
but if I had a purse
as cute as Mona's,
221
00:07:36,325 --> 00:07:38,625
it might be easier to get
out of bed in the morning.
222
00:07:38,719 --> 00:07:40,109
You want my purse?
223
00:07:40,198 --> 00:07:41,498
I didn't say that,
224
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,251
I just think hobo-chic
is hot right now.
225
00:07:43,332 --> 00:07:44,682
[Laughter]
226
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,248
Then consider it yours.
227
00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:48,075
- But it's mine.
- And it's hers now.
228
00:07:48,163 --> 00:07:50,253
[Laughter]
229
00:07:50,339 --> 00:07:52,429
Here, dalis, a
gift from delicious.
230
00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:54,595
Oh! It's gonna make a
perfect home for demille.
231
00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:55,691
[Laughter]
232
00:07:57,215 --> 00:07:59,215
Cute. All right, I'll
do the interviews.
233
00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:00,664
Just give my
assistant the details.
234
00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:04,049
You two should really
be more professional.
235
00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:05,675
And someone should
man the phones out there.
236
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:07,362
[Laughter]
237
00:08:07,443 --> 00:08:09,273
[Introductory musical note]
238
00:08:14,711 --> 00:08:16,541
So, we're here
with Jose canseco,
239
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:19,056
whose book sold really well.
240
00:08:19,150 --> 00:08:21,590
Actually, I've been all over
the country on my book tour
241
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:24,195
meeting all my fans and
Chicago is interesting.
242
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:27,246
Speaking of interesting,
my wife wrote a book
243
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:28,512
about football.
244
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,465
[Laughter]
245
00:08:30,553 --> 00:08:32,123
See, honey, I worked it in.
246
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:33,637
[Laughter]
247
00:08:33,730 --> 00:08:35,230
Hey, I got to share a
bed with that woman.
248
00:08:35,253 --> 00:08:36,433
[Laughter]
249
00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,256
Do what you got to do.
250
00:08:38,343 --> 00:08:40,563
So, what's next
for Jose canseco?
251
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,520
We're prepping
for a movie in L.A.
252
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:44,829
This is my martial arts
choreographer David Lee.
253
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,050
Believe it or not, he
gets paid to kick my ass.
254
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:49,486
[Laughter]
255
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,572
- I love my job.
- [Laughter]
256
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,531
Can we see some
of that ass-kicking?
257
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:55,840
In fact, I think we have
a couple of stage hands
258
00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:58,056
who happen to be
bringing in a big mat.
259
00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:02,373
A woman in this line of
work has definite challenges.
260
00:09:02,454 --> 00:09:04,334
Men often don't
respect a female voice...
261
00:09:04,413 --> 00:09:06,723
- Wait, you forgot something.
- I thought I sounded good.
262
00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,647
You sounded fine. I'm
talking about how you look.
263
00:09:08,678 --> 00:09:10,548
Mother swears by this
olay eye-lifting serum.
264
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:13,507
The camera adds 10 years.
This cream takes away 5.
265
00:09:13,596 --> 00:09:14,596
[Laughter]
266
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:17,339
Whatever you do, Dave,
267
00:09:17,426 --> 00:09:18,656
don't hit the face. That's
where the money is.
268
00:09:18,688 --> 00:09:20,298
[Laughter]
269
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:22,035
I'll hit you wherever
I want to hit you.
270
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:23,126
[Laughter]
271
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:27,924
Wow, you're pretty
good with that, pall.
272
00:09:28,002 --> 00:09:29,002
[Screams]
273
00:09:29,046 --> 00:09:30,216
[Laughter]
274
00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:33,699
I guess that's what
they call a home run.
275
00:09:33,790 --> 00:09:35,180
[Laughter]
276
00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:37,840
[Trainer screams]
277
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:39,315
You know,
278
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:41,124
refrigerator Perry threw
me around like that once.
279
00:09:41,145 --> 00:09:42,225
[Laughter]
280
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:45,627
Mom, what are you doing?
281
00:09:45,715 --> 00:09:47,125
There's cameras
around. You never know.
282
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:48,691
I might accidentally
step in front of one.
283
00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:49,808
[Laughter]
284
00:09:52,635 --> 00:09:53,635
[Laughter]
285
00:09:55,725 --> 00:09:57,375
Rodney: Our next
guest recently signed
286
00:09:57,466 --> 00:09:58,896
basketball star Dwight Mitchell
287
00:09:58,989 --> 00:10:00,339
to her roster.
288
00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:02,245
She's a young,
up-and-coming female agent
289
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,130
who's making a name for herself.
290
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:05,822
Please, welcome Dee Dee Thorne.
291
00:10:05,909 --> 00:10:07,689
[Applause]
292
00:10:09,870 --> 00:10:11,050
[Audience gasps]
293
00:10:12,524 --> 00:10:15,794
- [Slow motion] Oh... my...!
- [Laughter]
294
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:17,616
Damn, she fell
harder than I did.
295
00:10:18,835 --> 00:10:20,075
But she looked good going down.
296
00:10:21,490 --> 00:10:23,320
We're going to
cut to commercial.
297
00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:24,795
And call the paramedics.
298
00:10:24,885 --> 00:10:26,495
[Laughter]
299
00:10:26,582 --> 00:10:28,192
[Introductory musical note]
300
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:33,022
- Good morning.
- Not really.
301
00:10:33,110 --> 00:10:35,030
I got a call from
dalis at midnight
302
00:10:35,112 --> 00:10:36,772
requesting a yoga instructor
303
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:38,593
because she was feeling tense.
304
00:10:38,681 --> 00:10:39,991
[Laughter]
305
00:10:40,074 --> 00:10:41,474
Well, I hope you got her one.
306
00:10:41,553 --> 00:10:44,173
No, I did not. I put a
stop to the madness.
307
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:45,532
I made it clear that
she won't be getting
308
00:10:45,557 --> 00:10:46,777
any more perks from us.
309
00:10:46,863 --> 00:10:49,043
That includes my
purses, my shoes,
310
00:10:49,126 --> 00:10:50,796
or anything else she
wants to stuff her dog into.
311
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,264
[Elevator bell rings]
312
00:10:52,347 --> 00:10:54,477
Problem identified,
problem solved.
313
00:10:55,785 --> 00:10:57,045
Morning, commoners.
314
00:10:58,309 --> 00:10:59,959
Just passing on a
message from dalis.
315
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,570
"I've decided I no longer like
316
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,051
the concept,
location, or wardrobe
317
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,400
for the video shoot,
318
00:11:04,489 --> 00:11:05,769
so I won't be a
part of it tomorrow.
319
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:07,185
You guys are screwed."
320
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:10,095
- That last part was from me.
- [Laughter]
321
00:11:10,191 --> 00:11:11,761
Are you serious?
322
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:13,735
I never joke about
rich-heiress pop-culture icons.
323
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,280
If you'll excuse me,
324
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,210
dalis and I are off to
get matching Brazilians.
325
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:19,499
Interpret that how you wish.
326
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:20,681
[Laughter]
327
00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,378
Now look what you've done.
328
00:11:23,465 --> 00:11:25,465
My way was working.
329
00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:27,314
If you hadn't turned
down her piddly requests,
330
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,778
she'd be at the video shoot.
331
00:11:28,862 --> 00:11:30,542
She wouldn't be asking
for any of this stuff
332
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:33,079
if you had the grape nuts
to ever say no to anything.
333
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,700
Me and my grape
nuts are saying no now.
334
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,872
You have no star, no video,
335
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:39,348
and no one to
help fix this mess.
336
00:11:44,268 --> 00:11:46,178
Rodney peete: Please
welcome Dee Dee Thorne.
337
00:11:46,270 --> 00:11:47,620
This is my favorite part.
338
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,137
The look on Dee
Dee's face mid-fall
339
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:50,970
when she realizes
she's going down.
340
00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:52,098
[Laughs]
341
00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:53,629
It's even funnier in reverse.
342
00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,451
[Laughter]
343
00:11:56,541 --> 00:11:58,891
Ma! We shouldn't be
watching this over and over...
344
00:11:58,979 --> 00:12:00,389
Oh my god, look at
Rodney peete's eyes
345
00:12:00,415 --> 00:12:01,895
when she starts
falling towards him.
346
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:03,902
[Laughing hysterically]
347
00:12:03,984 --> 00:12:05,424
Hello, hello.
348
00:12:05,507 --> 00:12:06,807
I got Dee Dee in the hallway
349
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,380
and I need to lift her spirits.
350
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,656
I figure spending
time with the two of you
351
00:12:09,685 --> 00:12:10,815
will help her realize
352
00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:12,144
how much worse things could be.
353
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:13,379
[Laughter]
354
00:12:13,471 --> 00:12:16,041
Come in, Dee Dee.
It's a safe place.
355
00:12:18,302 --> 00:12:19,612
Doesn't she look great today?
356
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,695
Oh, yeah. Never better.
357
00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,064
You can't even
look me in the eye
358
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:24,350
after what happened today
359
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:26,049
on sports beat
with Rodney peete!
360
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:27,696
Was that today?
I totally forgot.
361
00:12:27,790 --> 00:12:28,970
I don't even get the channel.
362
00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:31,052
Liars!
363
00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:33,271
You know you all saw
me on the ground ass-up.
364
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:34,361
[Laughter]
365
00:12:35,711 --> 00:12:36,951
At least your
thighs didn't jiggle
366
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:38,893
when your legs were in the air.
367
00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:41,105
And your eyes
didn't look puffy at all.
368
00:12:41,195 --> 00:12:42,845
And they only showed
the studio audience
369
00:12:42,936 --> 00:12:44,296
laughing and pointing
at you for a second
370
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:45,238
before they cut to commercial.
371
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:46,499
[Laughter]
372
00:12:46,591 --> 00:12:47,811
Which was even worse.
373
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,507
I never even got
a chance to speak.
374
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:51,644
They played my
fall over and over.
375
00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:52,947
Well...
376
00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:54,453
At least I'm not as
pathetic as the guy
377
00:12:54,469 --> 00:12:56,189
who hit himself in the
head with a shot put.
378
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:59,051
Actually, you replaced
him as clip of the week.
379
00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:01,783
[Introductory musical note]
380
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,390
Kai: I'm impressed with you two.
381
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:06,960
Everything here looks good.
382
00:13:07,047 --> 00:13:08,787
Which makes me think
something is wrong.
383
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,085
I'll go snoop around,
384
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:11,700
see if I can find some problems.
385
00:13:11,791 --> 00:13:13,581
[Laughter]
386
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,362
See. I told you the
way to handle dalis
387
00:13:15,446 --> 00:13:16,576
was to be tough on her.
388
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:17,965
I had our attorneys inform her
389
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:19,188
that if she didn't show,
390
00:13:19,276 --> 00:13:20,796
she'd be in breach of contract.
391
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:22,767
When she knew I was
playing hardball, she caved.
392
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:26,081
Morning, people I used
to pretend to work for.
393
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,306
Spencer, I just
wanted to let you know
394
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:29,939
dalis appreciates
the personal trainer,
395
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:31,846
the chef, and the
hunky masseuse.
396
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:33,291
The last part was for me.
397
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:34,727
[Laughter]
398
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,025
Hey, dalis was annoyed
when you got all legal on her.
399
00:13:38,121 --> 00:13:40,691
So, I gave her a few
perks to keep her happy.
400
00:13:40,776 --> 00:13:43,076
Why do you keep
indulging this Princess?
401
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:44,690
Indulgence is what
the music business
402
00:13:44,780 --> 00:13:45,870
is all about.
403
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,145
As long as we get what we need,
404
00:13:47,174 --> 00:13:48,354
who cares how we get it?
405
00:13:48,436 --> 00:13:50,306
The old pimp and ho philosophy.
406
00:13:50,394 --> 00:13:52,014
[Laughter]
407
00:13:52,092 --> 00:13:53,442
Look,
408
00:13:53,528 --> 00:13:55,248
you've never been
behind this dalis project.
409
00:13:55,269 --> 00:13:57,069
Sometimes you have to
spend money to make money.
410
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:59,137
So, we're spending on dalis,
411
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:01,619
and she'll make it back
with a whole lot of zeroes.
412
00:14:03,233 --> 00:14:05,413
Bad news. Dalis just heard
about this party in New York
413
00:14:05,496 --> 00:14:06,886
she wants to go to.
414
00:14:06,976 --> 00:14:08,846
So she's decided she
won't do the video today.
415
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,605
She suggested shooting
around her until she gets back.
416
00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:11,892
We can't shoot around her!
417
00:14:11,981 --> 00:14:14,241
She's the only one in the video!
418
00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:15,861
Then I guess things
will have to wait.
419
00:14:15,942 --> 00:14:17,472
In the meantime,
420
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:18,292
if anyone needs me,
I'll be hanging with diddy.
421
00:14:18,379 --> 00:14:19,679
Holla!
422
00:14:19,771 --> 00:14:21,301
[Laughter]
423
00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:23,302
Well, since apparently
you're handling things,
424
00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:26,044
I guess you'll
tell Kai about this.
425
00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:27,646
Tell me about what?
426
00:14:27,736 --> 00:14:29,956
Uh... that you
should go check out
427
00:14:30,043 --> 00:14:31,463
the chocolate fountain
over at the buffet.
428
00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:32,649
I don't believe you.
429
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:35,091
- I can explain.
- No you can't.
430
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:37,218
You know how much I like
to dip things in chocolate.
431
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:39,181
And food, too?
432
00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,919
How could you wait
this long to tell me?
433
00:14:41,010 --> 00:14:42,100
[Laughter]
434
00:14:44,492 --> 00:14:47,282
That bought you 5
minutes. Now what?
435
00:14:47,364 --> 00:14:49,634
I'll talk to dalis and
straighten things out.
436
00:14:49,714 --> 00:14:52,284
Watch how a man
handles his business.
437
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,369
[Mona giggles]
438
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:58,026
Do we really need a
video for this single?
439
00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,384
[Laughter]
440
00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:02,123
We? You were handling
things, remember?
441
00:15:02,205 --> 00:15:03,875
[Scoffs] Oh, come on,
Mona, you gotta help.
442
00:15:03,903 --> 00:15:05,303
Why should I?
443
00:15:05,382 --> 00:15:07,782
'Cause I was wrong.
I need you. Satisfied?
444
00:15:07,863 --> 00:15:09,803
Mmm... not enough to have
a cigarette, but I'll take it.
445
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:11,651
[Laughter]
446
00:15:11,736 --> 00:15:13,776
Just tell me what
to do and I'll do it.
447
00:15:13,869 --> 00:15:16,259
Now that's how a man
should handle his business.
448
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:17,350
[Laughter]
449
00:15:20,963 --> 00:15:22,793
Brett: Hey, hey,
hey! There she is.
450
00:15:22,878 --> 00:15:24,788
Our star agent.
451
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:26,490
You know, I have to tell you,
452
00:15:26,577 --> 00:15:28,557
I was a little skeptical about
your first TV appearance,
453
00:15:28,579 --> 00:15:30,189
but you proved me wrong.
454
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:32,317
You really were able
to show america...
455
00:15:32,409 --> 00:15:33,449
Your best side.
456
00:15:33,541 --> 00:15:34,541
[Laughter]
457
00:15:35,847 --> 00:15:37,937
I prefer not to talk
while I work out.
458
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:40,374
Oh, yeah! Sure,
sure! I'm just saying,
459
00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:42,771
it was one small step for woman,
460
00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:47,344
but it was one giant
trip for womankind.
461
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:48,564
[Laughter]
462
00:15:49,905 --> 00:15:51,595
- Uh-huh.
- Hey,
463
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:53,559
at least you got
attention for the agency.
464
00:15:53,648 --> 00:15:56,428
It's too bad we didn't think
to put gmg across your butt.
465
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,520
[Laughter]
466
00:15:58,609 --> 00:15:59,609
Right.
467
00:16:01,003 --> 00:16:02,443
Hey, Dee Dee,
468
00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:06,227
back and forth,
that's what we do.
469
00:16:08,054 --> 00:16:09,664
Why aren't you doing what we do?
470
00:16:09,751 --> 00:16:11,321
- [Laughter]
- Come on, it's your turn.
471
00:16:11,405 --> 00:16:12,485
You got to come back at me.
472
00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:17,275
Have you seen this
outfit that I'm wearing?
473
00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:18,367
[Laughter]
474
00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:20,717
Hey...
475
00:16:21,763 --> 00:16:23,423
Seriously,
476
00:16:23,504 --> 00:16:24,854
it's not that big a deal, ok?
477
00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,720
I mean,
478
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:29,171
anybody could have made a
fool of themselves on national TV.
479
00:16:29,205 --> 00:16:31,025
[Laughter]
480
00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,990
Wait a minute. That
didn't sound right!
481
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:37,873
- Although it was accurate.
- [Laughter]
482
00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,483
[Introductory musical note]
483
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:44,571
Hey, guys, have a
great time in New York.
484
00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,655
Thanks. Sorry you'll have
to reschedule the video.
485
00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:48,754
Oh, we're not rescheduling.
486
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:50,363
We just don't need you anymore.
487
00:16:50,444 --> 00:16:52,584
But it's my video.
488
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,713
Dalis, meet Jenny.
Your replacement.
489
00:16:54,796 --> 00:16:56,536
- The lady from the kitchen?
- [Laughter]
490
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,107
What's up, y'all?
491
00:17:00,671 --> 00:17:02,021
Hey, that's my line.
492
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:03,538
Exactly.
493
00:17:03,631 --> 00:17:05,761
With the right angles
and video image trickery,
494
00:17:05,850 --> 00:17:07,900
we can get Jenny to look
more like you than you do.
495
00:17:09,115 --> 00:17:11,155
And, Jenny has her own purse.
496
00:17:11,247 --> 00:17:12,727
[Laughter]
497
00:17:12,814 --> 00:17:14,294
But I want to be in the video.
498
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,341
I don't want my fans
to think I look like this.
499
00:17:17,732 --> 00:17:19,782
When I take off the
apron and the hair net,
500
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:20,874
I'm pretty hot.
501
00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:22,132
[Laughter]
502
00:17:23,346 --> 00:17:24,866
I don't always
smell like tacquitos.
503
00:17:24,956 --> 00:17:26,516
[Laughter]
504
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:28,480
Which reminds me, you're
low on chicken kabobs.
505
00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:29,789
You might want to get on that.
506
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:32,825
And we're lucky to have Jenny,
507
00:17:32,921 --> 00:17:34,441
because we can't
reschedule this shoot.
508
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:38,226
Really? Not even for me?
509
00:17:38,318 --> 00:17:39,578
Nope.
510
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:41,017
Oh...
511
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:43,543
Well, I guess I can
see diddy any day.
512
00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:45,367
We're gonna diss
diddy for a stupid video?
513
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:46,935
I just hemmed my
Sean John pants!
514
00:17:47,022 --> 00:17:48,022
[Laughter]
515
00:17:48,980 --> 00:17:50,370
So, I'll stick around.
516
00:17:50,460 --> 00:17:52,640
Can I just go make a
few calls in my trailer?
517
00:17:52,723 --> 00:17:55,203
No. I think you
should go to set.
518
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,381
Now.
519
00:17:56,466 --> 00:17:57,856
Out of my way, food peasant!
520
00:17:57,946 --> 00:17:58,986
[Laughter]
521
00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,428
I told you that would do it.
522
00:18:02,516 --> 00:18:04,436
[Sighs] Sorry I didn't
listen in the first place.
523
00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:07,125
So, uhm...
524
00:18:07,216 --> 00:18:08,616
Does this mean
I'm not in the video?
525
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:11,087
'Cause I already
called my parents.
526
00:18:11,177 --> 00:18:12,867
[Laughter]
527
00:18:12,961 --> 00:18:14,661
Oh, we're really
sorry about this,
528
00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:15,865
but we'll make it up to you.
529
00:18:15,920 --> 00:18:17,100
There you are!
530
00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:18,793
Jenny, why are you
standing around?
531
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,290
We're out of bananas
at the chocolate fountain.
532
00:18:20,316 --> 00:18:21,836
[Laughter]
533
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:23,536
Why are we paying you?
534
00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:25,344
Get your ass over there
and ride that range, girl.
535
00:18:25,365 --> 00:18:26,445
[Laughter]
536
00:18:28,455 --> 00:18:29,885
Ok, we'll make
it up to her later.
537
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:33,164
[Introductory musical note]
538
00:18:37,638 --> 00:18:39,808
Brett! How did you get
me back on so quickly?
539
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,251
It wasn't that hard.
540
00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:42,357
You appearance was
the most replayed moment
541
00:18:42,382 --> 00:18:43,602
in the history of the show.
542
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:45,387
[Laughter]
543
00:18:45,472 --> 00:18:46,672
I wouldn't be surprised if
someone's out there right now
544
00:18:46,690 --> 00:18:49,080
- waxing the floors.
- [Laughter]
545
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,741
Whatever you did,
I really appreciate it.
546
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:54,306
Don't get emotional. I
did it for gmg, not for you.
547
00:18:54,394 --> 00:18:56,054
Don't think I'd waste
emotion on you.
548
00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:58,565
I'm just happy to get the
chance to redeem myself.
549
00:18:58,659 --> 00:19:00,059
I'm happy you'll
get to show america
550
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:01,265
more than your bottom side.
551
00:19:01,357 --> 00:19:03,097
Now, put these on. I prestuffed
552
00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,055
the soles for maximum traction.
553
00:19:05,144 --> 00:19:07,064
- [Laughter]
- Dee Dee: Put it away.
554
00:19:08,538 --> 00:19:10,238
I know you enjoyed
her the first time.
555
00:19:10,323 --> 00:19:12,413
Well, she's back for more.
556
00:19:12,499 --> 00:19:14,329
Please, welcome sports
agent Dee Dee Thorne.
557
00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:15,724
[Applause]
558
00:19:17,460 --> 00:19:20,030
I certainly hope
things go better today.
559
00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:22,065
- Could it really go any worse?
- [Laughter]
560
00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:24,862
Thanks for joining
us again, Dee Dee.
561
00:19:24,946 --> 00:19:26,136
I'm glad you were
able to make it...
562
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,205
All the way... to the chair.
563
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:30,297
[Laughter]
564
00:19:30,386 --> 00:19:32,516
It's an honor to
be here, Rodney.
565
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:34,516
My presence proves
that female agents
566
00:19:34,608 --> 00:19:36,518
are a force to be reckoned with.
567
00:19:36,610 --> 00:19:38,440
Let's hear it for
women everywhere.
568
00:19:38,525 --> 00:19:40,265
Girl power! Yay!
569
00:19:40,353 --> 00:19:41,833
- Whoa!
- [Laughter]
570
00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:47,402
Well, folks, it
looks like we got
571
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,190
- a new clip of the week!
- [Laughter]
572
00:19:53,931 --> 00:19:56,281
[Thinking]: Well, it was
a bad week for divas.
573
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:58,069
It took everything
Spencer and I could do
574
00:19:58,153 --> 00:20:00,203
to keep that celebutante
under control,
575
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:01,766
but we did it.
576
00:20:01,852 --> 00:20:04,462
And as for the
other diva in my life,
577
00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,861
I have to admit, I
took a little pleasure
578
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:09,084
in seeing 10 years of
charm school and ballet
579
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:11,434
not pay off in
such a public way.
580
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,824
The next time my sister
gets too full of herself,
581
00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:16,168
I'll just pull out my
new favorite DVD
582
00:20:16,258 --> 00:20:18,088
to give her a reality check.
583
00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:20,613
After all, that's
what sisters are for.
584
00:20:20,697 --> 00:20:21,737
[Soft music]
585
00:20:24,875 --> 00:20:26,745
[Introductory theme song]
586
00:20:26,795 --> 00:20:31,345
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