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1
00:00:01,262 --> 00:00:03,002
- [All laughing]
- Aw, man.
2
00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:05,140
Oh, thanks for tour
of the firehouse, Glen.
3
00:00:05,222 --> 00:00:06,702
It's so cute the way you guys
4
00:00:06,789 --> 00:00:08,489
line up all your
boots and coats.
5
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:10,973
You're like the seven
dwarfs, only tall and strapping.
6
00:00:11,054 --> 00:00:12,664
[Laughter]
7
00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:14,251
If we get called into action,
we need to move fast.
8
00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:15,505
Whether it's saving
lives, or getting to bed.
9
00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:16,577
Ain't that right, baby?
10
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,630
Oh, and thanks
again for dislodging
11
00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:21,795
that piece of burger
I was choking on.
12
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:25,461
No, I'm sure you would've...
Coughed it up eventually.
13
00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:27,547
No, she's a choker. I
still cut up her grapes.
14
00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:29,156
[Laughter]
15
00:00:29,246 --> 00:00:31,376
- So, how about a nightcap?
- Aw, it's kind of late...
16
00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:33,156
Wasn't talking to
you. Nighty-night.
17
00:00:33,250 --> 00:00:34,820
[Laughter]
18
00:00:34,904 --> 00:00:37,124
I can't believe them.
They're all over each other.
19
00:00:37,211 --> 00:00:39,521
Yesterday I caught them
making out in the laundry room.
20
00:00:39,604 --> 00:00:42,304
- Oh, I think it's cute.
- I saw tongues, Dee Dee!
21
00:00:42,390 --> 00:00:44,700
[Slow song in background]
22
00:00:44,783 --> 00:00:47,963
Oh, god. Here we go again.
23
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,008
Whenever she cranks
up the smooth R&B,
24
00:00:50,093 --> 00:00:51,383
it means she and
Glen are getting ready
25
00:00:51,399 --> 00:00:52,839
to play fireman to the rescue.
26
00:00:52,922 --> 00:00:54,492
[Laughter]
27
00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,486
Mona, maybe you
wouldn't be so bothered
28
00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:58,188
by your mom and her man
29
00:00:58,275 --> 00:00:59,945
if you were out getting a
little action of your own.
30
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:01,672
And maybe I wouldn't
be so bothered
31
00:01:01,757 --> 00:01:03,277
if that advice was
coming from someone
32
00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:04,427
who was getting
some her damn self.
33
00:01:04,455 --> 00:01:05,885
[Laughter]
34
00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:08,588
[Introductory theme song]
35
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:13,547
♪ through this
journey of discovery ♪
36
00:01:13,638 --> 00:01:17,948
♪ finding you, I'm finding me ♪
37
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:21,214
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
38
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:23,298
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
39
00:01:23,387 --> 00:01:25,127
♪ brings out the
joy inside of me ♪
40
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,735
♪ inside of me ♪
41
00:01:27,826 --> 00:01:29,866
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
42
00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:32,269
♪ all we need is lovin' ♪
43
00:01:32,353 --> 00:01:35,753
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
44
00:01:35,834 --> 00:01:37,454
♪ you and me ♪
45
00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:40,842
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
46
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:42,446
Ooh. [Ironic laughter]
47
00:01:43,755 --> 00:01:44,885
[Introductory musical note]
48
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:47,370
- Hey, Spence.
- Hey.
49
00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:48,885
Mona, before we go to lunch,
50
00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:50,758
I have a little
surprise for you.
51
00:01:50,849 --> 00:01:52,549
You know how you've
been down lately
52
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:53,794
and really annoyed that your mom
53
00:01:53,809 --> 00:01:55,119
is living in our building
54
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:57,602
and not seeing
anyone or getting any?
55
00:01:57,682 --> 00:02:00,162
So, the surprise is that
you want to depress me?
56
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:01,600
Just the opposite.
57
00:02:01,686 --> 00:02:03,376
There's a new hotel
called city sonoma,
58
00:02:03,471 --> 00:02:05,171
which I'm sure
you've never heard of
59
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:07,185
because it's hip, exclusive,
and hasn't even opened yet.
60
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,304
City sonoma that has
an amazing wine list?
61
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,780
Golden gate weekly called:
62
00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:12,759
"A little taste of sonoma
right here in the city,"
63
00:02:12,784 --> 00:02:14,834
- that city sonoma?
- [Laughter]
64
00:02:14,917 --> 00:02:17,087
Mona, you surprise me.
Usually you are months,
65
00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,960
if not years, behind the trends.
66
00:02:19,051 --> 00:02:20,581
Hey, I'm in the music business.
67
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,402
It's my job to
know these things.
68
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,420
Plus, someone left their
magazine in the bathroom.
69
00:02:24,448 --> 00:02:25,618
[Laughter]
70
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:26,760
That was me.
71
00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:28,502
[Laughter]
72
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:30,323
What were you doing
in the ladies' room?
73
00:02:30,411 --> 00:02:31,541
I'd rather not say.
74
00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:32,799
[Laughter]
75
00:02:33,979 --> 00:02:35,369
Anyway,
76
00:02:35,459 --> 00:02:37,369
one of my clients
is an investor,
77
00:02:37,461 --> 00:02:38,901
and he got us
78
00:02:38,984 --> 00:02:40,864
into the very exclusive
pre-opening weekend.
79
00:02:40,943 --> 00:02:42,683
They have an amazing
80
00:02:42,771 --> 00:02:44,951
four-handed dead sea salt scrub.
81
00:02:45,034 --> 00:02:47,694
Wow. Two trained professionals
will scrub my butt at once?
82
00:02:47,776 --> 00:02:48,906
[Laughter]
83
00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:50,304
How can I say no to that?
84
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:51,477
[Laughter]
85
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:53,042
Well, can I go?
86
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,959
Although I'm not sure
about the scrubbing.
87
00:02:55,044 --> 00:02:56,594
I don't like strangers
touching my butt.
88
00:02:56,611 --> 00:02:58,311
[Laughter]
89
00:02:58,395 --> 00:03:00,475
I've always depended on
the kindness of strangers.
90
00:03:00,571 --> 00:03:01,621
[Laughter]
91
00:03:04,445 --> 00:03:08,005
Anyway. Sorry, guys,
this is invitation only.
92
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:10,410
- Mona, come on. Let's go eat.
- Mona: Ok.
93
00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:12,544
- Bye.
- Bye, boys.
94
00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:14,497
[Scoffs]. You know,
a brother's always
95
00:03:14,585 --> 00:03:16,755
being excluded
from exclusive things.
96
00:03:16,848 --> 00:03:18,718
What if I told you
I could get you in?
97
00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,847
- How you going do that?
- I'd rather not say.
98
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,512
Now, if you'll excuse me,
99
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:25,094
I've got a meeting
in the ladies' room.
100
00:03:25,117 --> 00:03:26,767
[Laughter]
101
00:03:26,858 --> 00:03:28,248
[Introductory musical note]
102
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:34,296
Here's to our
sisters only weekend.
103
00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:35,998
Just you and me. Ooh!
104
00:03:36,085 --> 00:03:38,515
And two handsome guys. Hello.
105
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:39,779
Hello, ladies.
106
00:03:39,871 --> 00:03:42,311
I'm Marcus. This is Steve.
107
00:03:42,396 --> 00:03:44,216
Can we buy you two
beautiful women a drink?
108
00:03:44,311 --> 00:03:45,661
Thanks, but we
already have drinks
109
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,247
and we just want to
be by ourselves, ok?
110
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,750
[Laughter]
111
00:03:48,837 --> 00:03:50,707
Then why'd you come
to a single's weekend?
112
00:03:50,795 --> 00:03:51,835
[Laughter]
113
00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,227
Yeah!
114
00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:55,100
Why did I come to
a single's weekend?
115
00:03:55,191 --> 00:03:56,281
[Laughter]
116
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,626
I'm sorry, Mona,
117
00:03:57,715 --> 00:03:58,945
but I didn't think
you would've come,
118
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,327
if you had known.
119
00:04:00,414 --> 00:04:02,294
Well, thanks for
thinking I'm so pathetic
120
00:04:02,372 --> 00:04:03,962
that you couldn't
even tell me the truth.
121
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:06,382
I did it out of love.
I love you, Mona.
122
00:04:06,463 --> 00:04:07,513
[Laughter]
123
00:04:07,595 --> 00:04:09,335
Well, don't love me so much.
124
00:04:09,423 --> 00:04:11,693
Look, you have trouble
picking guys on your own.
125
00:04:11,773 --> 00:04:13,693
You always tend
to go for the scrubs.
126
00:04:13,775 --> 00:04:16,205
It is my sisterly
duty to help you.
127
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,079
And maybe I'll find
myself a man, too.
128
00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:21,130
Fine. Let me know when
you find our husbands.
129
00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:22,257
[Laughter]
130
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,527
- [Scoffs]
- Hi.
131
00:04:25,613 --> 00:04:27,443
Look, I'm just here
to order some wine.
132
00:04:27,528 --> 00:04:29,178
[Chuckles] That's cool.
133
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,749
The house red's pretty tasty.
134
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:32,745
Right now, I could
go for vino in a box.
135
00:04:32,837 --> 00:04:34,227
[Laughter]
136
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:36,407
Uh, another one of these for...
137
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:37,673
Mona.
138
00:04:37,755 --> 00:04:38,885
- For Mona.
- [Mona laughs]
139
00:04:40,062 --> 00:04:41,282
I'm chase.
140
00:04:41,368 --> 00:04:42,728
I'd ask you if you
come here often,
141
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,240
but this is opening night.
142
00:04:44,327 --> 00:04:45,697
Well, then I'd ask where
have you been all my life,
143
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,810
but I'm really bad at
cheesy pick-up lines.
144
00:04:47,896 --> 00:04:49,066
[Both laugh]
145
00:04:49,158 --> 00:04:50,638
Well, that makes two of us.
146
00:04:50,725 --> 00:04:53,155
Oh. It's funny how
two complete strangers
147
00:04:53,249 --> 00:04:54,559
can have so much in common.
148
00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:57,343
[Mona chuckles]
149
00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:58,427
Oh, how much?
150
00:04:58,515 --> 00:04:59,905
Oh, I've got this.
151
00:04:59,995 --> 00:05:00,995
Mona: Aw!
152
00:05:03,215 --> 00:05:05,385
Let me guess, chase,
you don't have your wallet?
153
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:10,009
Hi. I'm Dee Dee, Mona's sister.
154
00:05:10,092 --> 00:05:11,702
Mona needs to go now. Bye.
155
00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:12,919
[Laughter]
156
00:05:14,662 --> 00:05:16,662
Going for another
broke ass brother?
157
00:05:16,751 --> 00:05:18,341
I can't let you out of
my sight for a minute.
158
00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:20,281
- [Laughter]
- But he's cute.
159
00:05:20,363 --> 00:05:22,543
Mona, the man
doesn't have a wallet,
160
00:05:22,626 --> 00:05:24,166
and the bartender
already knows his name.
161
00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,803
Congratulations.
162
00:05:25,890 --> 00:05:27,390
You've found the one
penniless drunk in the place.
163
00:05:27,414 --> 00:05:28,464
[Laughter]
164
00:05:29,981 --> 00:05:31,291
[Introductory musical note]
165
00:05:33,420 --> 00:05:35,340
Oh, wow.
166
00:05:35,422 --> 00:05:37,252
Now that I've had
four hands on my butt,
167
00:05:37,337 --> 00:05:38,687
I could never go back to two.
168
00:05:38,773 --> 00:05:40,253
[Laughter]
169
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,120
Ladies.
170
00:05:42,211 --> 00:05:44,081
What are you guys doing here?
171
00:05:44,169 --> 00:05:46,259
Basking in the afterglow
of our spa treatments
172
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,476
and parading around in
our robes commando-style.
173
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:49,905
[Laughter]
174
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:51,281
But, Spence, how
are you paying for this?
175
00:05:51,307 --> 00:05:52,607
You've got a mortgage.
176
00:05:52,700 --> 00:05:54,480
Adam's buddy George
got us in for free.
177
00:05:54,571 --> 00:05:56,361
His company
designed the landscape.
178
00:05:56,443 --> 00:05:58,053
The Buddha garden was my vision.
179
00:05:58,140 --> 00:05:59,530
[Laughter]
180
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:01,160
Now we're off for a
private wine tasting
181
00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:02,356
with the hotel sommelier.
182
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:03,839
- Ta-ta.
- Tootles.
183
00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:06,016
Whatever.
184
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:07,321
[Laughter]
185
00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:09,890
I guess Adam's got
some juice. [Laughs]
186
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:12,328
Oh! Mona...
187
00:06:12,415 --> 00:06:15,545
I'd like to introduce
you to Ellis and Connor.
188
00:06:15,636 --> 00:06:18,766
And I'd like to introduce
you to a 2001 Pinot noir.
189
00:06:18,856 --> 00:06:21,556
I say we sniff, sip and enjoy.
190
00:06:23,426 --> 00:06:26,596
Mmm. This has
a very long finish.
191
00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:28,260
Exactly.
192
00:06:28,344 --> 00:06:30,614
And it shows fresh aroma
of cherry with oaky overtones.
193
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:33,874
- [Laughing] I'm sorry.
- [Laughter]
194
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:35,568
But when you say
wine tastes oaky,
195
00:06:35,656 --> 00:06:36,696
it makes me laugh.
196
00:06:36,787 --> 00:06:38,007
[Laughter]
197
00:06:38,093 --> 00:06:39,533
There's nothing funny about
198
00:06:39,616 --> 00:06:42,006
fermented fruit
aging in an oak barrel.
199
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,527
[Laughing]
200
00:06:43,620 --> 00:06:44,750
Excuse me.
201
00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:46,189
[Mona continues to laugh]
202
00:06:46,275 --> 00:06:47,795
Oh, thank god you're here.
203
00:06:47,885 --> 00:06:49,535
Hide me. They're
talking about wine.
204
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:50,796
[Laughing]
205
00:06:50,888 --> 00:06:52,208
Well, I don't like
to talk about it,
206
00:06:52,237 --> 00:06:53,327
I just like to drink it.
207
00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:55,846
Oh!
208
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:58,367
And, apparently, I
just like to wear it.
209
00:06:58,461 --> 00:06:59,721
[Laughing]
210
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,170
Hey, what are you
doing back there?
211
00:07:01,246 --> 00:07:02,726
Oh, it's cool I work here.
212
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:03,813
Oh!
213
00:07:05,381 --> 00:07:06,901
I have a little
confession to make.
214
00:07:08,558 --> 00:07:10,778
I went to write the word
sonoma on the food order today
215
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:12,775
and accidentally
wrote, "so, Mona."
216
00:07:12,867 --> 00:07:14,217
[Laughter]
217
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:16,353
I think you were a
little bit on my mind.
218
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,566
Well, I guess I thought
about you a little, too.
219
00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:21,005
- Yeah?
- At the omelet station,
220
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:23,752
at the pool, during my massage.
221
00:07:23,834 --> 00:07:26,404
Oh, that must be
the wine talking.
222
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,749
Really? Because most
of it is on your robe.
223
00:07:28,839 --> 00:07:29,879
[Laughter]
224
00:07:30,928 --> 00:07:32,018
Then I guess it's me.
225
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:34,023
[Both chuckle]
226
00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:35,845
Hi. Dee Dee again.
227
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,593
Mona needs to go now. Bye.
228
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,244
[Laughter]
229
00:07:39,328 --> 00:07:41,498
Didn't I tell you not to talk
to that mooching barfly?
230
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,161
No, no, no. It's
ok. He works here.
231
00:07:43,245 --> 00:07:44,675
Even worse!
232
00:07:44,768 --> 00:07:46,898
Mona, we're not
playing "find a barkeep."
233
00:07:46,988 --> 00:07:49,728
We're playing "find a
successful, worthy man."
234
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,907
Now, Conner and Ellis
are waiting in the hot tub.
235
00:07:51,993 --> 00:07:53,583
Let's get out there before
those two white chicks
236
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,003
from Eureka get to them.
237
00:07:55,083 --> 00:07:56,083
[Laughter]
238
00:07:57,825 --> 00:07:59,955
[Introductory musical note]
239
00:08:00,044 --> 00:08:01,874
[Sighs]
240
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:04,179
Oh. Nice outfit.
241
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:06,916
If you close your eyes
and concentrate really hard,
242
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:08,858
you might be able to shrink
yourself down and fit into it.
243
00:08:08,879 --> 00:08:10,009
[Laughter]
244
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,708
It's for Dee Dee.
245
00:08:11,795 --> 00:08:14,095
Unlike you, I try to give
my daughter the finer things.
246
00:08:14,189 --> 00:08:15,629
Speaking of finer,
247
00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:17,412
you remember my boyfriend, Glen?
248
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,977
He's finer than your husband.
249
00:08:19,063 --> 00:08:20,503
[Laughter]
250
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:22,107
Hey, we met in the skybox.
251
00:08:22,197 --> 00:08:24,457
I was Phyllis' date. You
questioned my eyesight?
252
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:25,977
Now I'm questioning your sanity.
253
00:08:26,070 --> 00:08:28,640
- [Laughter]
- You see this?
254
00:08:28,725 --> 00:08:30,765
That's a fireman
muscle. It's big,
255
00:08:30,858 --> 00:08:33,378
and I get to touch
it anytime I want.
256
00:08:33,469 --> 00:08:35,559
It's just this type of
obnoxious behavior
257
00:08:35,645 --> 00:08:37,095
that caused your
daughter to seek refuge
258
00:08:37,125 --> 00:08:38,205
at a 5-star hotel.
259
00:08:38,300 --> 00:08:39,650
Well, maybe if other people
260
00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:41,276
were as happy as we
are, they wouldn't be
261
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:42,943
so concerned with
other people's business.
262
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:45,131
Good one, baby.
263
00:08:46,351 --> 00:08:49,011
Besides, Mona and Dee Dee
went to have a girl's weekend.
264
00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:50,753
Oh, Phyllis.
265
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,954
First, you chase Charles
away, now, your own daughter.
266
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,810
If only you could chase
away that double chin.
267
00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:55,838
[Laughter]
268
00:08:59,451 --> 00:09:01,021
Wow. You were right.
269
00:09:01,105 --> 00:09:03,235
She does lash out to
mask her own shortcomings.
270
00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:05,195
[Laughter]
271
00:09:05,283 --> 00:09:07,463
Phyllis, your man
has clown feet.
272
00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,767
Your man looks like
273
00:09:08,852 --> 00:09:10,382
a Billy d. Williams
shrinky-dink.
274
00:09:10,462 --> 00:09:11,512
[Laughter]
275
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,951
It's not fair. There's
two of you now.
276
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:18,730
[Introductory musical note]
277
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:23,084
Adam, you've got some
really high-powered friends.
278
00:09:23,171 --> 00:09:24,351
I met a councilman,
279
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:25,833
the president of the free clinic
280
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:27,193
and the biggest
stock broker in the city.
281
00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:28,828
That was Vincent Walker.
282
00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,866
We dated once, but
his early morning hours
283
00:09:30,961 --> 00:09:32,751
and go-get-her
attitude drove us apart.
284
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,273
[Laughter]
285
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:36,026
Adam, he dumped you.
Tick-tock. Get over it.
286
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:37,193
[Laughter]
287
00:09:37,272 --> 00:09:39,192
[Stutters] That dude's gay?
288
00:09:39,274 --> 00:09:41,364
Course not. He just dates men.
289
00:09:41,450 --> 00:09:43,280
[Laughter]
290
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:44,995
Is that how we got
hooked up this weekend?
291
00:09:45,019 --> 00:09:46,889
Here's a news flash.
Being a short Filipino
292
00:09:46,977 --> 00:09:49,367
doesn't get me
in a lot of places.
293
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:51,238
But being gay, I
could pretty much get
294
00:09:51,329 --> 00:09:53,419
the key to the city if I wanted.
295
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:55,305
We're like the mafia,
only without the back hair
296
00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:57,123
- and the high-carb diet.
- [Laughter]
297
00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:59,465
We've got connections
all over town.
298
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:03,035
Theaters, museums,
midnight tours of Alcatraz.
299
00:10:03,124 --> 00:10:05,044
It's called Alcatraz after dark.
300
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:06,386
It's just like oz.
301
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:08,695
Except there's a
candlelight buffet.
302
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:10,832
[Scoffs] With all
your connections,
303
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:12,664
you should be
doing a lot better.
304
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,632
[Scoffs] Tell me about it.
Who knew sleeping around
305
00:10:14,657 --> 00:10:17,137
- wouldn't get you to the top?
- [Laughter]
306
00:10:17,225 --> 00:10:19,265
I'd have no self-esteem
at all if I weren't so cute.
307
00:10:19,357 --> 00:10:20,397
[Laughter]
308
00:10:22,709 --> 00:10:24,359
[All laughing]
309
00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:26,099
- Good night, ladies.
- See you tomorrow.
310
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:27,930
Bye.
311
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:29,408
[Deep sigh]
312
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:31,328
You and Connor look
really good together.
313
00:10:31,413 --> 00:10:32,683
And thanks to him,
314
00:10:32,762 --> 00:10:34,292
I will never put ice
in my wine again.
315
00:10:34,372 --> 00:10:35,682
[Laughter]
316
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:38,065
See? I know what's best for you.
317
00:10:38,159 --> 00:10:40,029
And what's best
is listening to me
318
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:42,337
and letting me hook you up
with a great guy like Connor.
319
00:10:42,424 --> 00:10:44,174
Yeah. And I do deserve to be
320
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:45,822
with a guy who at
least has a wallet.
321
00:10:46,950 --> 00:10:48,740
I'm so glad you
came to your senses.
322
00:10:48,822 --> 00:10:50,172
- [Mona laughs]
- Well...
323
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:51,518
Good night, Mona.
324
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:54,217
Yep. Off to bed. Good night.
325
00:10:54,305 --> 00:10:55,785
[Door closes]
326
00:10:55,872 --> 00:10:56,872
[Laughter]
327
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:06,185
- Hi.
- [Laughs]
328
00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:07,714
We better talk fast before
329
00:11:07,797 --> 00:11:09,707
"Mona needs to go
now, bye" pulls you away.
330
00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,189
[Laughter]
331
00:11:11,279 --> 00:11:13,849
No, no. Not this time.
My sister's asleep.
332
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:15,024
Good.
333
00:11:15,109 --> 00:11:17,369
So, what's your pleasure?
334
00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:20,769
Well, something
mellow and sweet,
335
00:11:20,854 --> 00:11:23,644
with just a hint of sexy.
336
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:24,946
[Slow song]
337
00:11:25,989 --> 00:11:27,339
[Cheerful humming]
338
00:11:30,037 --> 00:11:31,557
[Introductory musical note]
339
00:11:31,647 --> 00:11:33,187
Mona, have you told Dee
Dee you're dating chase?
340
00:11:33,214 --> 00:11:35,094
No. I don't want
her to start meddling
341
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:37,172
until I'm sure things
with chase are solid.
342
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:39,521
Wait! How did you know about us?
343
00:11:39,611 --> 00:11:41,661
The gay grapevine is powerful.
344
00:11:41,744 --> 00:11:42,794
[Laughter]
345
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:44,526
[Scoffs] I'm telling you, Mona,
346
00:11:44,616 --> 00:11:46,616
since I've been hanging
out with Adam and his crew,
347
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,356
I get vip parking at the gym,
348
00:11:48,446 --> 00:11:51,356
free condoms, and half price
on 400 thread count sheets.
349
00:11:51,449 --> 00:11:52,579
[Laughter]
350
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:53,928
Woman, them sheets are soft.
351
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,317
[Laughter]
352
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:56,890
[Knock on door]
353
00:11:56,977 --> 00:11:58,347
Well, I guess when
people think you're gay,
354
00:11:58,369 --> 00:12:00,069
the world is your oyster.
355
00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:01,554
Nobody thinks I'm gay.
356
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:03,203
[Mona groans]
357
00:12:03,287 --> 00:12:05,247
- Hello, beautiful.
- Hey, chase. What a surprise.
358
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:06,899
Uh, come in, come
in. Quick, quick.
359
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,917
Uh, chase, this is Spencer.
Spencer, this is chase.
360
00:12:08,945 --> 00:12:11,855
- Spencer: Yo, what up?
- Hey.
361
00:12:11,948 --> 00:12:13,818
I recognize you
from last weekend.
362
00:12:13,907 --> 00:12:16,297
Hey, look, city sonoma is
having a gay and lesbian
363
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:17,557
wine tasting next Friday,
364
00:12:18,563 --> 00:12:19,833
you should stop by.
365
00:12:19,913 --> 00:12:22,353
[Stutters] No. See, I'm not gay.
366
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:24,127
Just some of my friends are.
367
00:12:24,221 --> 00:12:25,531
[Laughter]
368
00:12:25,614 --> 00:12:26,984
Whatever makes
you comfortable, man.
369
00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:28,007
[Laughter]
370
00:12:29,705 --> 00:12:31,965
Hey, I know we were
gonna meet at the movies,
371
00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:34,615
but I wanted to see
my girl in her element.
372
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:37,320
- Mona, are you in there?
- Ah, just a minute.
373
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:38,978
Uhm...
374
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:41,042
Chase, why don't you set
the movies up in my bedroom?
375
00:12:41,064 --> 00:12:42,894
The screen's bigger,
the sound is better...
376
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:44,739
Hey, it's your bedroom, you
don't have to convince me.
377
00:12:44,764 --> 00:12:46,644
- Mona: Ok!
- [Laughter]
378
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:48,512
Hey, you haven't used the chain
379
00:12:48,593 --> 00:12:50,733
since you got high and
watched silence of the lambs.
380
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:51,863
[Laughter]
381
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,208
Why can't I come in?
382
00:12:56,297 --> 00:12:58,127
I'm clipping my toenails.
383
00:12:58,212 --> 00:12:59,212
Say no more.
384
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:02,828
I just came by to tell
you that I talked to Ellis,
385
00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:05,092
and he told me that
Connor is really into you,
386
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:06,565
so I've arranged
for a double date.
387
00:13:06,655 --> 00:13:08,215
Tomorrow night,
oh, no noodle, 7:30.
388
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:09,609
Yay, great! Ok, bye.
389
00:13:09,701 --> 00:13:10,791
[Laughter]
390
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,267
I know.
391
00:13:12,356 --> 00:13:14,396
You know, if I hadn't
lied and manipulated you
392
00:13:14,489 --> 00:13:15,929
into going on that
single's weekend,
393
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:18,232
you never would've met
such a wonderful man.
394
00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,189
You're right about that. Bye!
395
00:13:20,277 --> 00:13:22,057
[Laughter]
396
00:13:22,149 --> 00:13:24,669
Look at you, juggling two men.
397
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:27,020
Girlfriend, you're just
pimpin' all over the world.
398
00:13:27,110 --> 00:13:28,110
[Laughter]
399
00:13:33,377 --> 00:13:35,157
Now, why would
anyone think you're gay?
400
00:13:35,249 --> 00:13:36,689
[Laughter]
401
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:38,472
[Introductory musical note]
402
00:13:38,556 --> 00:13:39,946
Favorite vacation?
403
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:42,866
Heliskiing in cortina,
Italy. Dee Dee?
404
00:13:42,952 --> 00:13:46,132
Horseback riding in
the Sahara. Connor?
405
00:13:46,216 --> 00:13:48,216
Learning falconry from
sheikh Mohammed in Dubai.
406
00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:49,345
Mona?
407
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,216
I went to Hawaii once.
408
00:13:52,309 --> 00:13:53,349
[Laughter]
409
00:13:53,441 --> 00:13:54,531
Saw a turtle.
410
00:13:54,616 --> 00:13:56,136
[Laughter]
411
00:13:56,226 --> 00:13:57,916
Always nice.
412
00:13:58,011 --> 00:13:59,811
Chase: Ok, I'll have
your order here tomorrow.
413
00:14:01,536 --> 00:14:02,836
Uh, excuse me.
414
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:03,969
Sure.
415
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:05,500
Chase?
416
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,243
Chase, what are you doing here?
417
00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:09,634
I'm working. And I'd
ask you the same thing,
418
00:14:09,718 --> 00:14:11,288
but it's obvious
you're on a date.
419
00:14:11,372 --> 00:14:13,502
Oh, no. It's not a real
date. I'm just pretending,
420
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:15,901
so my sister won't
find out about us.
421
00:14:15,985 --> 00:14:17,505
- Nice cover, Mona.
- No, really.
422
00:14:17,595 --> 00:14:19,465
My sister doesn't like you,
423
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:22,044
so I was trying to protect you
by throwing her off your scent.
424
00:14:22,122 --> 00:14:23,172
The girl's a bloodhound.
425
00:14:24,385 --> 00:14:27,385
Listen, I'm not
into playing games.
426
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,125
I'll see you around.
427
00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:30,476
- But, chase...
- Dee Dee: Mona.
428
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,221
What is going on
between you two?
429
00:14:34,308 --> 00:14:36,788
I've been dating
chase behind your back.
430
00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,176
But why?
431
00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:39,878
I didn't want to
have to explain him.
432
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,156
I just wanted to
get to know him,
433
00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:42,404
and now, thanks to you,
434
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:44,100
I'll probably never
see him again.
435
00:14:44,187 --> 00:14:46,617
I only got involved
because I care about you.
436
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:48,151
I did it out of love.
437
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,775
No, you did it because
you're a control freak
438
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:51,561
who thinks she knows
what's best for everyone.
439
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,626
We are two very
different people, Dee Dee.
440
00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:55,848
When you start to
respect that, that'll be love.
441
00:14:58,158 --> 00:15:01,248
What's wrong? You look
upset. Beautiful, but upset.
442
00:15:01,335 --> 00:15:03,245
[Laughter]
443
00:15:03,337 --> 00:15:05,727
Ellis vandergelder,
where have you been?
444
00:15:05,817 --> 00:15:08,077
You've missed two parties
and three aerobics classes.
445
00:15:08,168 --> 00:15:10,078
- And that was just yesterday.
- [Laughter]
446
00:15:10,170 --> 00:15:11,820
Uh, I've been busy.
447
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,431
Go away.
448
00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:15,261
Reynaldo's been
downing vodka tonics
449
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:17,109
and listening to sade
wondering where you've been.
450
00:15:17,133 --> 00:15:18,743
You can't just disappear on him.
451
00:15:18,830 --> 00:15:20,570
Your one-month
anniversary's coming up.
452
00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:21,918
[Laughter]
453
00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:23,488
Ellis, you're gay?
454
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:26,059
Are you on the downlow?
455
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:29,411
Oh, god, no. I was
never going to touch you.
456
00:15:29,493 --> 00:15:31,103
It's just that
you're so fabulous.
457
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:32,631
I wanted to be near you.
458
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,590
He fell in love with a diva.
Happens to the best of us.
459
00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:37,814
[Laughter]
460
00:15:37,893 --> 00:15:39,073
[Introductory musical note]
461
00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:43,549
[Steps]
462
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:45,678
I find it interesting that
before you moved in,
463
00:15:45,770 --> 00:15:47,120
Mona was always here.
464
00:15:47,207 --> 00:15:49,037
And now that you're
here, she's always gone.
465
00:15:49,122 --> 00:15:50,342
I wish you were gone.
466
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:51,817
[Laughter]
467
00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:54,127
I'm merely suggesting
that Mona may be feeling
468
00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:56,044
a bit too crowded
since more relatives
469
00:15:56,129 --> 00:15:57,779
and their boyfriends showed up.
470
00:15:57,869 --> 00:16:00,129
Mona seems fine to me.
471
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:01,570
From the looks of
your eye makeup,
472
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:03,236
I should've known
subtly was not your forte.
473
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:04,876
[Laughter]
474
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:07,584
Your sordid love life is
driving your daughter away.
475
00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:08,972
Marinade on that,
476
00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:10,665
to put into food terms
you'd understand.
477
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:11,752
[Laughter]
478
00:16:14,930 --> 00:16:16,630
[Door closes]
479
00:16:16,714 --> 00:16:18,784
Two against one does work,
even if one of them is a dog.
480
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:19,893
[Barks]
481
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:20,979
[Laughs]
482
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,677
You again.
483
00:16:26,768 --> 00:16:27,768
What can I get you?
484
00:16:29,249 --> 00:16:30,689
I'll have a glass
485
00:16:30,772 --> 00:16:34,692
of montrachet domaine
De la romani Conti, 1978.
486
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:37,646
That's served by the
bottle at $23,000 a pop.
487
00:16:37,735 --> 00:16:39,555
Only seven exist
in the United States.
488
00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:40,650
You sure?
489
00:16:41,913 --> 00:16:43,793
Nah, I was just testing
your knowledge of wine.
490
00:16:43,872 --> 00:16:45,572
[Laughter]
491
00:16:45,656 --> 00:16:47,046
I'll have a club soda.
492
00:16:48,311 --> 00:16:49,831
And an explanation
493
00:16:49,921 --> 00:16:52,231
for why you're not
talking to my sister.
494
00:16:52,315 --> 00:16:54,445
Why do you care? I
thought you didn't like me.
495
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:57,275
It's not that I don't like
you. Ok, doesn't matter
496
00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:59,984
if I like you or not because
Mona really likes you.
497
00:17:00,062 --> 00:17:01,892
I got in the way of
you two hooking up.
498
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:04,067
I never should've
interfered in her life.
499
00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:05,653
But isn't that what
you're doing right now?
500
00:17:05,676 --> 00:17:06,976
I'm still talking, chase.
501
00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,459
[Laughter]
502
00:17:08,549 --> 00:17:10,029
Look, the bottom line
503
00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:12,246
is I just want what's
best for Mona.
504
00:17:12,335 --> 00:17:14,555
Don't blame her
for my craziness.
505
00:17:14,642 --> 00:17:15,902
Give her another chance.
506
00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:18,558
Things just got too complicated,
507
00:17:18,646 --> 00:17:20,516
and I don't like
complicated things.
508
00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:22,614
Few men do, but most
women worth having
509
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:24,393
are just a little
bit complicated.
510
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,785
I'll give it some thought.
511
00:17:27,872 --> 00:17:29,002
And I'll stay out of it.
512
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,360
But can you think about it
while you're talking to her?
513
00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:34,443
[Laughter]
514
00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:37,272
[Introductory musical note]
515
00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:38,360
[Knock on door]
516
00:17:41,495 --> 00:17:45,055
Uh, chase, I didn't
expect to see you again.
517
00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:46,301
And you probably wouldn't have
518
00:17:46,326 --> 00:17:47,886
if your sister hadn't come by.
519
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,259
Now I see the
insanity that forced you
520
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:50,675
to keep our
relationship a secret.
521
00:17:50,765 --> 00:17:51,765
[Laughter]
522
00:17:53,202 --> 00:17:54,732
I want to start over.
523
00:17:54,812 --> 00:17:56,032
You do?
524
00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,378
First, I'd like to come in.
525
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:58,467
[Laughter]
526
00:17:58,555 --> 00:18:00,075
Oh, sorry. Come on.
527
00:18:04,648 --> 00:18:06,478
Look, I think we should
have total disclosure.
528
00:18:06,563 --> 00:18:07,963
Uh-oh, that's not always good.
529
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:09,223
[Laughter]
530
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:11,125
Well, it's about city sonoma.
531
00:18:14,005 --> 00:18:15,695
I kind of own it.
532
00:18:15,790 --> 00:18:17,790
You own city sonoma?
533
00:18:17,879 --> 00:18:19,529
I also own a winery.
534
00:18:19,620 --> 00:18:21,550
And that's why I was at
the noodle bar the other day.
535
00:18:21,578 --> 00:18:23,538
They bought ten cases
of my best cabernet.
536
00:18:23,624 --> 00:18:25,154
Well, why didn't you tell me?
537
00:18:26,496 --> 00:18:28,756
Well, when we met, it
was opening weekend,
538
00:18:28,846 --> 00:18:30,936
and I just wanted to
mix in with the guests
539
00:18:31,022 --> 00:18:33,202
and get their honest
reactions to the place.
540
00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:34,766
Yeah, but what about after that?
541
00:18:34,852 --> 00:18:36,252
You had plenty of chances.
542
00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:38,032
Standing in line at
the movie theater,
543
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,597
sitting at the red light,
544
00:18:39,683 --> 00:18:41,823
listening to each other
fall asleep on the phone.
545
00:18:41,903 --> 00:18:43,473
[Chase chuckles]
546
00:18:43,557 --> 00:18:45,467
I just thought it
was nice that...
547
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,039
That you liked me for me,
548
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,776
and not for my wallet.
549
00:18:48,866 --> 00:18:50,146
It's funny 'cause
when I met you,
550
00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:51,412
I didn't even think
you had a wallet.
551
00:18:51,434 --> 00:18:53,224
[Laughter]
552
00:18:53,306 --> 00:18:54,656
I know.
553
00:18:54,742 --> 00:18:56,532
[Soft song]
554
00:18:56,613 --> 00:18:58,493
[Mona thinking] So,
after all these months
555
00:18:58,572 --> 00:19:00,662
of waiting for a nice
guy to come along,
556
00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:04,528
I just may have gotten
a teeny tiny nibble.
557
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:06,751
I'm trying not to get
too excited about chase,
558
00:19:06,841 --> 00:19:08,121
because I don't want to jinx us,
559
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:10,540
but I am excited about him.
560
00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:11,927
[Door opens]
561
00:19:12,020 --> 00:19:13,330
Hi, Mona.
562
00:19:13,413 --> 00:19:15,113
So, my guy's rich
and your guy's gay.
563
00:19:15,197 --> 00:19:16,197
Care to comment?
564
00:19:16,285 --> 00:19:17,935
[Laughter]
565
00:19:18,026 --> 00:19:19,106
Bye, Mona.
566
00:19:19,201 --> 00:19:20,331
[Laughter]
567
00:19:23,292 --> 00:19:24,642
[Slow song]
568
00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:27,208
Phyllis: Push, Glen, push!
569
00:19:27,296 --> 00:19:29,036
You could make it fit.
570
00:19:29,124 --> 00:19:30,474
Just put your back into it.
571
00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:31,560
[Laughter]
572
00:19:32,693 --> 00:19:34,303
Glen: I'm giving
you all I got, woman!
573
00:19:34,390 --> 00:19:35,440
[Laughter]
574
00:19:35,522 --> 00:19:37,482
Keep going without me.
575
00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,347
For god's sake, mom,
people can hear you!
576
00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,349
I can hear you!
577
00:19:41,441 --> 00:19:42,791
Don't start complaining.
578
00:19:42,877 --> 00:19:44,747
- I'll be gone soon enough.
- Oh, please,
579
00:19:44,835 --> 00:19:46,965
not the "you'll miss me
when I'm dead" speech.
580
00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:48,445
No, it's the "you'll miss me
581
00:19:48,535 --> 00:19:50,145
when I'm out of the
building" speech.
582
00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,372
- What?
- Well, I just got to thinking
583
00:19:52,452 --> 00:19:54,672
that maybe things were
getting too crowded around here,
584
00:19:54,758 --> 00:19:57,458
so I found a place
that's close to my baby
585
00:19:57,544 --> 00:19:59,334
and not too far
from you, either.
586
00:19:59,415 --> 00:20:00,865
She can hit my
place, the pub n' taco,
587
00:20:00,895 --> 00:20:02,295
her hair shop and
cat toys unlimited
588
00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:03,331
in a quarter-mile loop.
589
00:20:04,594 --> 00:20:06,904
That sounds perfect.
I'm happy for you two.
590
00:20:06,988 --> 00:20:08,158
Well, don't be a stranger.
591
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:09,430
[Laughter]
592
00:20:09,512 --> 00:20:11,252
I won't be. I still
have a spare key
593
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:12,650
to your apartment.
594
00:20:12,733 --> 00:20:14,433
And don't change the
lock, Glen has an axe.
595
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:16,077
[Laughter]
596
00:20:16,171 --> 00:20:17,911
Which I only use in
case of emergencies
597
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:19,349
or for our Saturday nights
598
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,045
when we play
fireman and the rescue.
599
00:20:21,132 --> 00:20:22,132
[Laughter]
600
00:20:25,049 --> 00:20:26,959
[Introductory theme song]
601
00:20:27,009 --> 00:20:31,559
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