Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,611 --> 00:00:04,531
Hey, Mona, guess what I've got.
2
00:00:04,613 --> 00:00:06,033
A good excuse for
being an hour late?
3
00:00:06,049 --> 00:00:08,399
Nope. Still working on one.
4
00:00:08,486 --> 00:00:09,746
Now close your eyes.
5
00:00:09,835 --> 00:00:11,575
I want to put
something in your hand.
6
00:00:11,663 --> 00:00:13,473
You know, I fell for that
when we were in college,
7
00:00:13,491 --> 00:00:15,751
but this time I'm a lot more
willing to point and laugh.
8
00:00:17,669 --> 00:00:19,799
Pshh! Ok, fine.
9
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:21,199
Got you this.
10
00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:22,412
Happy birthday.
11
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:23,830
But it's not until
the end of the week.
12
00:00:23,849 --> 00:00:25,419
I was so excited
I couldn't wait.
13
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,513
I finally got the perfect gift.
14
00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:29,072
Great, 'cause I was afraid
15
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,529
I'd end up with something
I have a million of,
16
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:33,082
like bath salts or
scented candles.
17
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:35,513
Oh, bath salts and
scented candles!
18
00:00:36,775 --> 00:00:39,865
Good morning, play-ahs.
19
00:00:39,952 --> 00:00:41,482
Man, that's the last time
20
00:00:41,563 --> 00:00:44,873
I listen to you
about a gift idea.
21
00:00:44,957 --> 00:00:47,477
Ooh, bath salts
and scented candles!
22
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,309
You want it?
23
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:52,047
Why do you think I told
him to get this for you?
24
00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:59,276
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪
25
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:03,373
♪ you're finding
you, I'm finding me ♪
26
00:01:03,454 --> 00:01:06,544
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
27
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:08,761
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
28
00:01:08,851 --> 00:01:09,901
♪ brings out the joy ♪
29
00:01:09,982 --> 00:01:13,292
♪ inside of me ♪
30
00:01:13,377 --> 00:01:14,767
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
31
00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:17,817
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪
32
00:01:17,903 --> 00:01:21,343
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
33
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:23,039
♪ you and me ♪
34
00:01:23,126 --> 00:01:26,386
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
35
00:01:26,477 --> 00:01:28,347
Ooh. Heh heh.
36
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:37,045
♪ Just kick it, Whoo ♪
37
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:44,103
How long you been
standing there?
38
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,891
Long enough to
appreciate the fact
39
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,755
that we're only half sisters.
40
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:50,236
'Cause my half has rhythm.
41
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,627
And you entered my apartment
without permission because...
42
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:54,641
We have birthdays coming up.
43
00:01:54,723 --> 00:01:56,383
I thought we
should talk giftage.
44
00:01:56,464 --> 00:01:58,404
Well, how about you
don't give me a gift this year
45
00:01:58,422 --> 00:02:00,602
and I won't give you one?
46
00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,425
Not get me a gift?
47
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,393
Oh, Mona.
48
00:02:04,472 --> 00:02:05,342
Now, remember,
49
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:06,739
my birthstone is diamond.
50
00:02:06,822 --> 00:02:08,042
No, it's not.
51
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,608
Mother had it legally changed.
52
00:02:10,695 --> 00:02:12,825
Dee Dee, really, I
don't need anything.
53
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:14,865
Oh, I beg to differ.
54
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,140
Come on.
55
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,593
All right, there's
one thing I can use.
56
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:18,825
Can you get me a man?
57
00:02:18,921 --> 00:02:21,051
That's it! That's the gift.
58
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,971
I'm getting you a
man for your birthday.
59
00:02:23,055 --> 00:02:26,485
Ok, I was joking... sort of.
60
00:02:26,581 --> 00:02:29,891
Once again I've pulled
inspiration from your pain.
61
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:32,325
In fact, let's make
it a man exchange.
62
00:02:32,413 --> 00:02:34,983
I mean, our usual way of
finding guys isn't working,
63
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:38,457
so we'll find each other
dates for our birthday.
64
00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:39,659
Dee Dee, you couldn't
even begin to know
65
00:02:39,681 --> 00:02:41,511
what type of man I like.
66
00:02:41,596 --> 00:02:44,726
I have been paying
attention for the last 2 years.
67
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,596
You're attracted
to underemployed,
68
00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,078
poorly-dressed, musky bohemians
69
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:50,558
with emotional issues.
70
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:53,648
Wow, you have
been paying attention.
71
00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:56,258
And if you're half
as good as I am,
72
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,440
you'll find someone
wonderful for me.
73
00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,176
I say the challenge is on.
74
00:03:00,267 --> 00:03:01,047
And I accept.
75
00:03:01,137 --> 00:03:02,137
Bring on the jobless,
76
00:03:02,225 --> 00:03:04,265
dysfunctional man of my dreams.
77
00:03:04,358 --> 00:03:08,058
I can't believe my baby
girl is turning 22 this year.
78
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:11,634
I'm turning 24.
79
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,373
Impossible.
80
00:03:13,454 --> 00:03:16,854
I never would've had a
child at the tender age of 15.
81
00:03:17,545 --> 00:03:19,895
15? Come on, mother.
82
00:03:19,982 --> 00:03:23,072
If the dmv buys it, so will you.
83
00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:25,289
And for your big 2-2,
84
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:28,899
I am giving you this.
85
00:03:28,991 --> 00:03:34,081
A picture of cissy
and Whitney Houston?
86
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:36,220
Well, I didn't have one.
87
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:39,183
No, no, the gift is portraiture.
88
00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:40,482
A mother-daughter sitting.
89
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:45,048
Our beauty and style
captured for all time.
90
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:48,013
That is a great idea.
91
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:51,707
Hey, what if we were
to make it all us girls?
92
00:03:51,796 --> 00:03:54,186
Me, you, and the maids?
93
00:03:54,277 --> 00:03:58,057
No. Me, you, Mona, and Phyllis.
94
00:03:58,150 --> 00:04:00,590
A mother-daughter,
mother-daughter portrait.
95
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:04,195
Do you think
that's fair to Phyllis?
96
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:06,993
I mean,
97
00:04:07,072 --> 00:04:08,862
after they airbrush
out her imperfections,
98
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:11,124
all that will be
left is a set of caps
99
00:04:11,207 --> 00:04:12,817
and 10 acrylic nails.
100
00:04:15,298 --> 00:04:18,348
Mom, it's time you
accept that we're a family.
101
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:21,352
And what better gift for
your 22-year-old daughter,
102
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:27,005
who won't blow the whistle
at the dmv if you agree?
103
00:04:27,092 --> 00:04:28,722
I can not believe you'd
be so manipulative
104
00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:31,176
simply to get
something you want.
105
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,711
Baby makes mama proud.
106
00:04:34,752 --> 00:04:37,232
It's about time your sister
helped you find a man,
107
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:40,670
'cause the rest of
us are tapped out.
108
00:04:41,455 --> 00:04:42,925
Thanks, ma.
109
00:04:43,021 --> 00:04:45,291
But if this one should turn
out to be yet another dud,
110
00:04:45,372 --> 00:04:46,982
just know that I'm here for you.
111
00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:49,989
Longing for the comfort only
a grandchild could give me,
112
00:04:50,072 --> 00:04:52,602
but here for you just the same.
113
00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:55,253
And here I am, longing
for unconditional love,
114
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:58,908
but happy to take
what you give me.
115
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,524
[Knock on door]
116
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,174
Hey, I pride myself on
letting you live your own life.
117
00:05:03,259 --> 00:05:05,439
I mean, what kind of
overbearing freak of a mother
118
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:09,222
is always trying to control
her daughter's every move?
119
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,659
Hello, hello!
120
00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:13,969
Why, Phyllis, that ensemble.
121
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,922
You certainly have
a way with fabric.
122
00:05:16,011 --> 00:05:20,321
You know how to just stretch
it till is screams for mercy.
123
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:22,057
You mean like Charles does
124
00:05:22,147 --> 00:05:24,447
when you lean
down to pick him up?
125
00:05:25,934 --> 00:05:26,944
Mothers!
126
00:05:27,022 --> 00:05:27,942
Ahem.
127
00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:29,463
Play nice.
128
00:05:29,546 --> 00:05:30,896
Mona, Phyllis,
129
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:32,592
in honor of my birthday,
130
00:05:32,680 --> 00:05:34,860
mom is getting me a
present that also involves you.
131
00:05:34,943 --> 00:05:36,493
All of a sudden, I'm
seeing us with aprons,
132
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,860
hair nets, and serving trays.
133
00:05:38,947 --> 00:05:40,947
I would like to invite
you to join us in a sitting
134
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:42,296
for a mother-daughter portrait.
135
00:05:42,385 --> 00:05:43,865
A photograph?
136
00:05:43,952 --> 00:05:46,302
I didn't think your
kind showed up on film.
137
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,909
Ma, it's a very generous offer.
138
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,440
So thank you. It
sounds like fun.
139
00:05:51,525 --> 00:05:52,655
Not so fast.
140
00:05:52,743 --> 00:05:54,833
I'm not sure I want
to spend eternity
141
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:57,789
trapped in a picture
with wig-on-a-stick.
142
00:05:57,879 --> 00:05:59,229
Why not, Phyllis?
143
00:05:59,315 --> 00:06:04,355
Worried you can't
compete with all this?
144
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,020
Oh, please!
145
00:06:08,106 --> 00:06:10,106
I will blow you so
far off the proof sheet
146
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:13,365
it'll take lo-Jack
to find your image.
147
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:16,384
Bring it.
148
00:06:19,291 --> 00:06:21,121
Ooh!
149
00:06:21,772 --> 00:06:24,822
Ooh, a 20.
150
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:26,076
Back off, vulture.
151
00:06:26,168 --> 00:06:28,128
It's not gonna work this time.
152
00:06:28,213 --> 00:06:29,483
So I finally got it right.
153
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,263
You can't go wrong with cash.
154
00:06:31,347 --> 00:06:35,347
Actually, you can, 'cause I
loaned you 400 last week.
155
00:06:35,438 --> 00:06:38,218
Where do you think I got that?
156
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:43,230
So, when do you get the
packagefrom Dee Dee?
157
00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:44,915
Tonight. She's bringing
him over at 7:00.
158
00:06:44,969 --> 00:06:46,539
Have you found a
guy for Dee Dee yet?
159
00:06:46,623 --> 00:06:49,283
No. I'm waiting to see if
the guy she found for me
160
00:06:49,365 --> 00:06:52,275
lives across the golden
gate bridge or under it.
161
00:06:52,368 --> 00:06:55,588
That way I'll know how
high the bar's been set.
162
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:57,386
Well, when you're ready
to look, maybe I can help.
163
00:06:57,417 --> 00:07:00,287
I know half the guys
in San Francisco.
164
00:07:00,376 --> 00:07:04,636
It's the other half
she's looking for.
165
00:07:08,123 --> 00:07:10,083
[Knock on door]
166
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:15,090
Ok. Your birthday
present is right outside.
167
00:07:15,173 --> 00:07:16,223
Do I get to unwrap him?
168
00:07:16,305 --> 00:07:18,085
Only if the date
goes really well.
169
00:07:18,176 --> 00:07:19,526
[Giggles]
170
00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:21,573
Mona Thorne, your
date for this evening
171
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:24,968
is a sexy, single,
well-established architect.
172
00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:27,013
He's athletic, loves R&B,
173
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:29,408
gourmet cooking, and his mama.
174
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:30,752
[Laughs]
175
00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:34,151
Say hello to...
176
00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:36,496
James Lewis.
177
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,200
Wow.
178
00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:42,715
Wow yourself.
179
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:44,808
Your p.R. Woman told me a lot of
180
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:45,989
good things about you.
181
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,604
Well, it's easy
when it's all true.
182
00:07:48,685 --> 00:07:50,985
Well, I've done my part.
183
00:07:51,079 --> 00:07:52,909
We'll let nature do the rest.
184
00:07:52,994 --> 00:07:55,654
Happy birthday, sis.
185
00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:58,478
Come on in.
186
00:07:58,565 --> 00:07:59,735
Is it really your birthday?
187
00:07:59,827 --> 00:08:02,657
'Cause i... i feel
like it's mine.
188
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:06,013
Dee Dee made you
say that, didn't she?
189
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,234
That depends. Did you like it?
190
00:08:09,445 --> 00:08:10,355
I did.
191
00:08:10,446 --> 00:08:13,226
Then it was all me.
192
00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:16,104
I made dinner
reservations for us at 8:00.
193
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:17,451
We should probably go.
194
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:19,110
So is it weird for you,
195
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:20,764
agreeing to be
someone's present?
196
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:23,498
No. I thought it was an original
way for a blind date. Why?
197
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,680
You aren't thinking of
returning me, are you?
198
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:26,916
No. You're one of the few gifts
199
00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:28,641
I'm actually thinking
about keeping.
200
00:08:34,078 --> 00:08:35,378
Finally!
201
00:08:35,471 --> 00:08:36,991
Tell me everything.
How did it go?
202
00:08:37,081 --> 00:08:38,401
What did you and
James talk about?
203
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:40,000
I didn't hear a word he said.
204
00:08:40,084 --> 00:08:41,374
I was too busy
trying to figure out
205
00:08:41,390 --> 00:08:43,830
how to fit his furniture
into my apartment.
206
00:08:43,914 --> 00:08:45,184
And the best part is...
207
00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:47,703
He asked me out again.
208
00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:49,658
Ooh.
209
00:08:50,225 --> 00:08:51,875
I knew my method would work.
210
00:08:51,966 --> 00:08:54,836
I used the kaiser-hillman
psychological profile,
211
00:08:54,925 --> 00:08:56,185
combined with a credit check,
212
00:08:56,274 --> 00:08:57,604
matched against a retail
preference database.
213
00:08:57,624 --> 00:08:59,194
It is my foolproof
214
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:02,717
find-a-man screening
system. Patent pending.
215
00:09:02,803 --> 00:09:04,463
It doesn't always work.
216
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:06,814
Need I remind you
of Mr. Foot fetish?
217
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:10,384
That's why the patent's pending.
218
00:09:11,028 --> 00:09:12,508
Dee Dee, thank
you for all the trouble
219
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:13,702
you went through
for my birthday.
220
00:09:13,727 --> 00:09:15,117
It's no more trouble
221
00:09:15,206 --> 00:09:16,836
than I'm sure you're
going through for me,
222
00:09:16,860 --> 00:09:18,510
and since my dating
standards are higher,
223
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:21,341
I know your job is
much, much harder.
224
00:09:22,387 --> 00:09:23,687
Only 2 more days.
225
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:26,610
I can't wait to meet
the guy you got for me.
226
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:27,696
[Door closes]
227
00:09:27,784 --> 00:09:29,394
Neither can I.
228
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:34,488
Look, Tony, I know
it's short notice,
229
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,364
but I am desperate to find a
date for my sister, and I just...
230
00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,616
Oh. Well, do you think
your new wife would mind
231
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:43,539
if you went on
just one date with...
232
00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:45,276
Boy, is she clingy.
233
00:09:45,367 --> 00:09:46,367
[Knock on door]
234
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:48,588
Hey.
235
00:09:48,675 --> 00:09:51,195
I was just on the phone
with your perfect guy.
236
00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:52,636
Oh. About that.
237
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:54,422
Since James
already asked you out,
238
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:57,156
I thought that it would be
great if we all went out together.
239
00:09:57,248 --> 00:09:59,988
That way, I get to spend
my birthday with my sister
240
00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:02,467
and the incredible
hook-up she found for me.
241
00:10:02,558 --> 00:10:04,728
Our first double. Yay!
242
00:10:04,821 --> 00:10:06,741
Yay!
243
00:10:14,048 --> 00:10:16,218
Phyllis. Good news
about the photo shoot.
244
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:18,441
The photographer does
have a wide-angle lens,
245
00:10:18,530 --> 00:10:19,680
so I am certain that we can fit
246
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:23,966
almost all of you
into the picture.
247
00:10:24,058 --> 00:10:27,018
And I thought you'd be
getting some extra beauty rest.
248
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:31,204
Shouldn't you be in your
coffin avoiding the sun?
249
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:33,632
I'm on my way to a final
fitting for my designer gown.
250
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,130
I assumed you've
already glued the sequins
251
00:10:35,156 --> 00:10:39,456
onto the burlap sack
you'll be squeezing into.
252
00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:42,081
For your information, stilts,
253
00:10:42,163 --> 00:10:44,823
I have got a gorgeous outfit.
254
00:10:44,905 --> 00:10:48,595
I am more than prepared
for this photo shoot.
255
00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:50,914
I got nothing for
the photo shoot!
256
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,348
What do you got?! I'm desperate!
257
00:10:52,434 --> 00:10:55,484
What?! What you
got? What, what, what?!
258
00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:01,135
Ok. Here's where we are.
259
00:11:01,225 --> 00:11:02,565
It's Dee Dee's birthday.
260
00:11:02,662 --> 00:11:04,072
I have to be at a photo
shoot in 30 minutes,
261
00:11:04,098 --> 00:11:05,598
and our dinner dates
are right after that,
262
00:11:05,621 --> 00:11:07,581
so I'm out of time,
and I'm out of options.
263
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:10,277
You're also out
of jelly bellies.
264
00:11:10,365 --> 00:11:14,325
But this might not be
the best time to bring it up.
265
00:11:14,412 --> 00:11:16,202
I swore that I
would never do this,
266
00:11:16,284 --> 00:11:17,594
but I am begging you guys.
267
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:19,087
I need a man for Dee
Dee... A great man.
268
00:11:19,113 --> 00:11:20,333
Someone who makes me look like
269
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:21,958
the caring sister I
want her to think I am.
270
00:11:21,985 --> 00:11:24,155
I'm not spending my day
looking for some dude.
271
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:26,688
Well, if you do it right, it
won't take the whole day.
272
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:30,654
Oh, you're doing it.
273
00:11:30,733 --> 00:11:31,843
Especially since
you still owe me
274
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,205
a present for my birthday.
275
00:11:33,301 --> 00:11:35,911
So, if I found a perfect
guy for Dee Dee,
276
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,589
it would be the perfect
gift from me to you?
277
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:38,999
Sure, and just to be clear:
278
00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:40,259
The guy ain't you.
279
00:11:42,527 --> 00:11:44,657
Now get out there and
find my sister a date.
280
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:48,577
Hooray! We're
going on a man-hunt.
281
00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:57,372
J'arrive!
282
00:11:58,108 --> 00:12:00,548
Not the boa.
283
00:12:00,632 --> 00:12:03,642
It was inappropriate
for my ballet recitals,
284
00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,163
and it's inappropriate now.
285
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:09,727
Just call me... "The boss."
286
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:13,726
Just call me when this is over.
287
00:12:13,820 --> 00:12:17,950
Ladies, please
get into position.
288
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:22,833
How's my makeup?
289
00:12:22,916 --> 00:12:25,696
You did the best you could.
290
00:12:25,788 --> 00:12:26,878
So did you.
291
00:12:26,963 --> 00:12:29,573
I didn't realize
Chanel made spackle.
292
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:35,542
Mom, thanks for agreeing
to do the picture with all of us.
293
00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:37,454
I did it because I love you.
294
00:12:37,539 --> 00:12:38,759
Happy birthday, dear.
295
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:40,975
Now get out of mother's light.
296
00:12:42,718 --> 00:12:46,158
Photographer: Ok, ladies, on 3.
297
00:12:46,243 --> 00:12:48,723
1, 2, 3.
298
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:02,653
Spencer, you were supposed
to be here half an hour ago.
299
00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:04,218
I'm sorry. Just as
we were leaving,
300
00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:08,735
junebug got a call from
his probation officer.
301
00:13:09,179 --> 00:13:11,179
Everything is cool now.
302
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:15,228
Hey. Where the rich girl at?
303
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:16,966
Junebug? Probation officer?
304
00:13:17,057 --> 00:13:20,317
What should I give Dee
Dee next year, conjugal visits?
305
00:13:20,408 --> 00:13:22,148
[Sighs] Maybe
she'll like junebug.
306
00:13:22,236 --> 00:13:23,716
I mean, they have
a lot in common.
307
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:25,463
Dee Dee likes gold.
308
00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:27,633
He's got 2 gold teeth.
309
00:13:28,242 --> 00:13:30,112
She's gonna be a lawyer.
310
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:32,160
He's gonna need a lawyer.
311
00:13:33,203 --> 00:13:36,213
Hey. I came up with one
more option than you did.
312
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:38,563
You're dismissed.
Adam is my only hope.
313
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:42,433
Here I come to save the day!
314
00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:47,299
Hello, Dee Dee.
The name is Oscar.
315
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:49,001
I know what you're thinking,
316
00:13:49,089 --> 00:13:53,699
and yes, you are one lucky lady.
317
00:13:53,789 --> 00:13:55,139
Wait.
318
00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:56,095
I'm not Dee Dee,
319
00:13:56,183 --> 00:13:57,533
but this about as close
320
00:13:57,619 --> 00:13:59,839
as you're gonna get to her.
321
00:13:59,926 --> 00:14:01,276
What's she talking about, Adam?
322
00:14:01,362 --> 00:14:04,322
Doesn't she know I'm
a professional athlete?
323
00:14:04,408 --> 00:14:07,278
I played in Romania
for half a season.
324
00:14:07,368 --> 00:14:10,678
All the ladies want some of o.
325
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,032
Sorry, o.
326
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:14,382
Adam, get real.
The guy is a jerk.
327
00:14:14,462 --> 00:14:16,202
And that is not
gonna line up with that.
328
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:20,290
It all evens out when
you're lying down.
329
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:23,511
True dat.
330
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,391
Everybody out!
331
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:31,783
I know you're not
talking about junebug.
332
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,481
Especially junebug.
333
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:35,569
Ok.
334
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:40,844
If idiots could fly,
335
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,623
this would be a
freakin' airport.
336
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,542
Hey, everybody.
337
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,315
Hey, Mona. Good
to see you again.
338
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:50,720
You, too.
339
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:53,282
Ok, so... Your
awesome guy is here.
340
00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:54,370
Where's mine?
341
00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,195
He's parking the car
342
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:58,766
'cause he didn't want the valets
343
00:14:58,854 --> 00:15:02,254
to mess with his new Ferrari.
344
00:15:02,727 --> 00:15:06,557
Not just a Ferrari,
a new Ferrari?
345
00:15:06,644 --> 00:15:09,134
And that's not
even his good car.
346
00:15:09,212 --> 00:15:13,172
Damn, that brother's
making me look bad.
347
00:15:13,260 --> 00:15:15,480
Who can I call? Oh, god.
348
00:15:15,566 --> 00:15:16,566
Excuse me.
349
00:15:16,611 --> 00:15:17,741
I notice you talking
350
00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:19,439
to that attractive
woman at that table?
351
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:22,137
Wow, you're fast.
352
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,805
Yes, she's my sister.
Would you like to meet her?
353
00:15:23,835 --> 00:15:26,095
Would you like to have
dinner with her? I can arrange it.
354
00:15:26,186 --> 00:15:28,536
Well, it looks like
she's already on a date.
355
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,363
That's my date James.
356
00:15:30,451 --> 00:15:31,891
Oh, so the brother's with you.
357
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,024
Yes, and you can save
her from being a third wheel.
358
00:15:34,107 --> 00:15:35,237
So, what do you say?
359
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:37,195
And I am not
above offering cash.
360
00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:39,504
I say I'm interested.
I'm Brendan.
361
00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:41,200
Great! Her name is Dee Dee.
362
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:42,378
It's her birthday,
363
00:15:42,463 --> 00:15:43,863
and you and I set
this up a week ago
364
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,533
'cause you're a friend
of a friend of mine
365
00:15:45,553 --> 00:15:47,733
from Fresno, got it?
366
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:50,646
Does it have to be Fresno?
367
00:15:50,732 --> 00:15:51,562
Yes.
368
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:52,906
Now, one last thing.
369
00:15:52,995 --> 00:15:54,775
Have you ever done
time, ever cross-dressed,
370
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,426
and who is Isaac Mizrahi?
371
00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:57,840
No, only once
when I was pledging,
372
00:15:57,913 --> 00:16:00,443
and doesn't he have a
discount line at target?
373
00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,744
You are so in!
374
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:04,621
You just won yourself a Dee Dee.
375
00:16:04,702 --> 00:16:06,232
Come on down!
376
00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:08,883
Yeah, man. I've
travelled all over the world.
377
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,618
You know, I enjoyed
Thailand the best, though,
378
00:16:11,709 --> 00:16:13,709
'cause it's just so rich
in culture, you know?
379
00:16:13,798 --> 00:16:16,848
He likes culture.
380
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:19,462
I love you.
381
00:16:19,543 --> 00:16:21,373
I'm a bit of a world
traveler myself.
382
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:22,808
I've never been
out of the states,
383
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:26,254
but I spent some
time in New Orleans,
384
00:16:26,333 --> 00:16:28,993
Vegas, L.A.
385
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,115
A lot of time in L.A.
386
00:16:30,206 --> 00:16:31,596
I actually lived
there for a while.
387
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,056
Have you lived there
in the last 5 years?
388
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:34,949
Yeah, I was kickin'
it in the palisades
389
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:39,037
till last June. Why?
390
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:40,348
That's prime laker's time.
391
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:41,434
You know, I'm a huge fan.
392
00:16:41,478 --> 00:16:43,998
Me, too.
393
00:16:45,743 --> 00:16:47,483
They're both Lakers fans.
394
00:16:47,571 --> 00:16:49,311
Is that amazing?
395
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,969
Uh, excuse me, gentlemen.
396
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:53,234
While you talk sports,
397
00:16:53,316 --> 00:16:54,546
I'm going to go to
the ladies' room.
398
00:16:54,578 --> 00:16:55,708
Mona, join me?
399
00:16:55,797 --> 00:16:57,577
Oh, right behind you.
400
00:16:57,668 --> 00:17:00,628
You know, girls, always have
to go to the bathroom in twos.
401
00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,145
Sort of like Noah's ark.
402
00:17:02,238 --> 00:17:03,808
Ha ha ha.
403
00:17:03,892 --> 00:17:06,032
Go Lakers!
404
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:07,482
I'm glad you wanted
to go to the bathroom.
405
00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:08,514
I really had to go,
406
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,292
but I didn't wanna
miss anything.
407
00:17:14,207 --> 00:17:18,337
Dee Dee: I am so
impressed with Brendan.
408
00:17:18,428 --> 00:17:19,428
[Flushes]
409
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:24,964
He's smart, funny...
410
00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,744
[Flushes]
411
00:17:26,828 --> 00:17:27,958
And I'm trying to find a way
412
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:32,437
to accidently touch his pecs.
413
00:17:33,269 --> 00:17:35,619
[Flushes] Aah!
414
00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:36,836
Mona, are you ok?
415
00:17:36,925 --> 00:17:40,315
Yes, but technology
won't let me pee.
416
00:17:40,407 --> 00:17:43,927
Just hold the seat cover
down till you're down.
417
00:17:44,019 --> 00:17:46,889
Mona: Thanks.
418
00:17:48,241 --> 00:17:52,201
You found such the
perfect guy for me.
419
00:17:52,288 --> 00:17:55,678
It must've taken you
so much time and effort.
420
00:17:55,770 --> 00:17:59,900
You have no idea.
421
00:18:13,918 --> 00:18:16,398
Alakazam!
422
00:18:24,364 --> 00:18:28,024
Dee Dee, I have another problem.
423
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:31,017
Just open the
door and it'll flush.
424
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,500
[Flushes]
425
00:18:36,027 --> 00:18:38,597
Ah, man. This is
crazy. You set me up.
426
00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:39,862
Look at them.
427
00:18:39,944 --> 00:18:41,564
Getting overheated about sports.
428
00:18:41,642 --> 00:18:42,902
That is so adorable.
429
00:18:42,991 --> 00:18:45,911
Adorable my ass. This
brother's a detective.
430
00:18:45,994 --> 00:18:48,134
I just got served
with divorce papers.
431
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:49,434
I'm sorry, man. That's my job.
432
00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:50,999
I just needed to
confirm you were
433
00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,086
who I thought you were.
434
00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:53,571
Wait a minute. You're married?
435
00:18:53,654 --> 00:18:55,284
Let's just say he had
a series of marriages
436
00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:56,458
that kind of... what's the word?
437
00:18:56,483 --> 00:18:58,273
Overlapped.
438
00:18:58,354 --> 00:19:00,274
You say, "overlapped."
I say, "over-loved."
439
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:03,681
I guess putting them in
the same apartment building
440
00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:05,227
was a mistake.
441
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:09,538
What can I say? I got lazy.
442
00:19:11,193 --> 00:19:13,463
Hey, Dee Dee, look,
I'm sorry about tonight.
443
00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:16,943
Um, but I'd love the
chance to make it up to you.
444
00:19:17,025 --> 00:19:19,675
Maybe dinner next Friday?
445
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:22,117
Well... ok.
446
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:25,824
I see I passed the pec test.
447
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:27,603
Hey, Mona, I'm sorry about...
448
00:19:27,688 --> 00:19:29,298
Unh.
449
00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:33,430
Mona, I'm so sorry
it turned out this way.
450
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,220
Please, don't be.
451
00:19:35,304 --> 00:19:36,874
It was destined to
go down like this.
452
00:19:36,958 --> 00:19:39,078
It's only natural that I
would end up with a bigamist,
453
00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:41,404
and you'd end up
with Mr. Perky pecs.
454
00:19:41,484 --> 00:19:45,104
Next year, if Brendan
and I aren't married,
455
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,144
we can try this again.
456
00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:51,279
And maybe you
can try a little harder.
457
00:19:51,364 --> 00:19:53,894
Ladies!
458
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:55,495
I see you all alone.
459
00:19:55,585 --> 00:19:57,975
How'd you like to
buy junebug a drink?
460
00:20:01,591 --> 00:20:04,331
Wow. I look beautiful in this.
461
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:07,290
This must've been
my best hair day ever.
462
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:09,560
But... look at my mom.
463
00:20:09,643 --> 00:20:12,253
And my mother looks so...
464
00:20:12,341 --> 00:20:13,341
[Both shudder]
465
00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,432
Well, the good news is
466
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,239
we have our Halloween
costumes for this year.
467
00:20:18,260 --> 00:20:21,310
I'll go as your mom
and you go as mine.
468
00:20:21,394 --> 00:20:22,834
Do I have to wear the boa?
469
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:24,827
Do you want to
scare people or not?
470
00:20:24,877 --> 00:20:29,427
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
33278
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
