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1
00:00:01,914 --> 00:00:03,744
I'm really excited
about this party.
2
00:00:03,829 --> 00:00:05,219
It's a singles mixer.
3
00:00:05,309 --> 00:00:07,159
'Cause if I have one
more dateless Friday night,
4
00:00:07,181 --> 00:00:10,841
I will have officially
traded places with her.
5
00:00:11,272 --> 00:00:12,582
Oh.
6
00:00:12,664 --> 00:00:14,284
"If you're single
and ready to mingle,
7
00:00:14,362 --> 00:00:19,242
stop by my mixer.
It's sure to swing... Le."
8
00:00:19,323 --> 00:00:20,763
Ok, so she's no Maya angelou,
9
00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:22,976
but it does sound
like a fun party.
10
00:00:23,066 --> 00:00:24,286
Party? Where? When?
11
00:00:24,372 --> 00:00:26,942
And shall I wear
leather, lycra or lizard?
12
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,327
At the lush lounge. On Saturday.
13
00:00:29,420 --> 00:00:30,500
And wear whatever you like.
14
00:00:30,552 --> 00:00:32,552
'Cause he will anyway.
15
00:00:32,641 --> 00:00:34,051
And you're supposed
to bring a single person
16
00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:35,557
of the opposite sex.
17
00:00:35,644 --> 00:00:37,214
Define opposite.
18
00:00:37,733 --> 00:00:38,913
And since you're hooked up,
19
00:00:38,995 --> 00:00:40,165
you're therefore not invited.
20
00:00:40,257 --> 00:00:42,777
Mmm. So you and
Nick still going strong?
21
00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:46,348
Yes, which is amazing
since he isn't really my type.
22
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:47,527
Your type?
23
00:00:47,612 --> 00:00:48,402
You know, unemployed,
noncommittal,
24
00:00:48,483 --> 00:00:50,273
owes me money.
25
00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:52,014
Mona, there's no
such thing as type.
26
00:00:52,095 --> 00:00:53,355
We like who we like.
27
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:54,884
And that's why i'm
having this party,
28
00:00:54,967 --> 00:00:56,527
so I can find someone to like.
29
00:00:56,621 --> 00:01:00,761
Well, how about if I invite
some of my unattached friends?
30
00:01:00,843 --> 00:01:02,543
I want to help in any way I can.
31
00:01:02,627 --> 00:01:04,587
Oh, that's really nice of you.
32
00:01:04,673 --> 00:01:06,983
Hey, it's the least I can do
for the single and desperate.
33
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:08,547
Yeah, that's all y'all.
34
00:01:11,245 --> 00:01:16,635
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪
35
00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:21,118
♪ you're finding
you, I'm finding me ♪
36
00:01:21,211 --> 00:01:24,261
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
37
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:26,515
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
38
00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:27,648
♪ brings out the joy ♪
39
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:31,049
♪ inside of me ♪
40
00:01:31,134 --> 00:01:32,834
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
41
00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:35,178
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪
42
00:01:35,269 --> 00:01:39,099
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
43
00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:40,836
♪ you and me ♪
44
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:43,966
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪
45
00:01:52,721 --> 00:01:53,921
Oh, skooch over a little, Dee.
46
00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:55,513
I am pooped!
47
00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:56,993
Already today,
48
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:59,033
your little brother's
had 9 diaper changes
49
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,159
and 6 feedings.
50
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:01,340
Plus he's been to baby yoga
51
00:02:01,425 --> 00:02:04,335
and the doctor for a checkup.
52
00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:06,258
Wow, mom! You did all that?
53
00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,523
Well, the nanny did,
54
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:09,605
but supervising is very tiring.
55
00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:10,744
Knock, knock.
56
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:11,826
Hey, Nina.
57
00:02:11,914 --> 00:02:13,074
We would've been here sooner,
58
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,873
but we needed to be burped
59
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,050
'cause we had a little gas.
60
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,617
She uses the royal we.
61
00:02:18,703 --> 00:02:20,883
Picked that up working
for the king of Sweden.
62
00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,746
Or was it Finland?
63
00:02:22,838 --> 00:02:25,118
I don't know. Somewhere
with a lot of white blonde people.
64
00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,625
There's my little man.
65
00:02:27,712 --> 00:02:30,892
Or should I say
my other little man?
66
00:02:30,976 --> 00:02:33,976
Hey, baby brother.
What's shakin'?
67
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:35,886
Wait. What is this?
68
00:02:35,981 --> 00:02:37,641
Why is mommy's
little fashion plate
69
00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:40,602
wearing disposable
di-dees again?
70
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:43,422
Mrs. Thorne, the derma
on a baby is very delicate
71
00:02:43,511 --> 00:02:45,821
and prone to irritation
and if we don't speak up
72
00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:47,784
for their little bottoms,
then who will?
73
00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:51,647
Not to mention disposables
are more efficient.
74
00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:54,646
Listen, I have spent a
fortune on designer diaper pins.
75
00:02:54,739 --> 00:02:57,699
I am trying to do my part for
the environment and fashion.
76
00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,607
Mrs. Thorne,
77
00:02:59,701 --> 00:03:01,751
you hired me because I
am an expert on baby care,
78
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:04,013
and there are more
important things than fashion.
79
00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:05,316
[Gasps]
80
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:09,798
Don't you have a nanny
and me class in 20 minutes?
81
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,055
That's correct.
82
00:03:11,843 --> 00:03:14,723
Come on, drewdles.
And after the class,
83
00:03:14,803 --> 00:03:17,763
we'll go to the park
and feed the ducks,
84
00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:19,089
'cause you know they're friendly
85
00:03:19,111 --> 00:03:21,071
no matter what you're wearing.
86
00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:26,642
How dare she say I'm
meaner than a duck?
87
00:03:28,730 --> 00:03:30,860
[Music playing]
88
00:03:34,605 --> 00:03:36,645
Hey, guys, thanks for coming.
89
00:03:36,738 --> 00:03:38,038
Hey, no problem.
90
00:03:38,130 --> 00:03:41,050
The music's bumpin',
the grub is off the chain,
91
00:03:41,133 --> 00:03:44,313
ha, and I'm hopin'
you're the door prize.
92
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:47,575
Man, you gotta
work on your game.
93
00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:49,932
Dee Dee'll never
fall for a line like that.
94
00:03:50,012 --> 00:03:51,842
Would you?
95
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:53,282
Hey!
96
00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:54,503
What are you guys doing here
97
00:03:54,582 --> 00:03:56,242
at a singlesparty?
98
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,113
I know it looks
like we're crashing.
99
00:03:58,194 --> 00:03:59,504
Because we are?
100
00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:00,807
But we just wanted to say hi.
101
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:01,892
And gloat a little.
102
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:03,240
I'm not gloating.
103
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,850
I'm here to support my sister.
104
00:04:04,940 --> 00:04:06,200
My single, dateless,
105
00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:09,029
searching-for-a-man sister.
106
00:04:09,118 --> 00:04:10,768
Being a record exec
must be exciting.
107
00:04:10,859 --> 00:04:13,779
Except when your job's
on the line like his just was.
108
00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:16,212
Luckily he hung on by a thread.
109
00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:17,609
Guess they took pity on him,
110
00:04:17,692 --> 00:04:19,962
what with his
sketchy credit and all.
111
00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:22,503
Well, if you want to
hook up with chauncy,
112
00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:24,053
you better take him
back to your place.
113
00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:27,923
'Cause at the moment,
his place is my couch.
114
00:04:28,006 --> 00:04:29,786
Are you sure you
guys are friends?
115
00:04:29,878 --> 00:04:32,708
Both: Cousins, actually.
116
00:04:32,794 --> 00:04:34,974
Adam!
117
00:04:35,057 --> 00:04:36,667
I'm so glad you made it.
118
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,374
Well, it's a party
with an open bar.
119
00:04:38,452 --> 00:04:39,822
The only thing that
could keep me away
120
00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:41,594
is death or a Bette
midler retrospective.
121
00:04:42,325 --> 00:04:44,715
Oh, well, I'd be happy
to introduce your friend
122
00:04:44,806 --> 00:04:46,066
to some of the women here.
123
00:04:46,155 --> 00:04:47,675
Oh, no need.
124
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:48,675
I figured since nobody'd
invite somebody appropriate,
125
00:04:48,766 --> 00:04:50,066
the party was byob...
126
00:04:50,159 --> 00:04:52,249
Bring your own boytoy.
127
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:53,855
So I did.
128
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:54,945
Sit.
129
00:04:57,209 --> 00:05:00,039
I just spotted 3 men
who are just your type.
130
00:05:00,125 --> 00:05:02,205
You know, upwardly
mobile, career oriented...
131
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,572
Mona, I told you I
don't have a type.
132
00:05:04,652 --> 00:05:06,312
Sure, you do. You always have.
133
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:08,833
Do you remember
the seesaw incident?
134
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:09,957
This is no fun!
135
00:05:10,048 --> 00:05:11,198
I want to seesaw
with someone who
136
00:05:11,223 --> 00:05:13,103
won't keep me up here forever.
137
00:05:13,182 --> 00:05:15,322
How about asking him?
138
00:05:16,228 --> 00:05:18,058
No. He's a mess.
139
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:20,153
I want to ask him.
140
00:05:20,232 --> 00:05:23,152
He's got style andthe
right credentials.
141
00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:25,665
You're 6. You don't even
know what credentials are.
142
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,280
I know having them
is better than not.
143
00:05:28,371 --> 00:05:31,161
He's leaving! Let me down now!
144
00:05:31,243 --> 00:05:32,353
All right. Let's go
slowly 'cause...
145
00:05:32,375 --> 00:05:33,545
I said now!
146
00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:37,030
Ow!
147
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,595
Ahh, one of a few fond
memories from childhood.
148
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,728
I thought I broke my butt.
149
00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:47,350
I still get a twinge
there just before it rains.
150
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:50,924
The point is even back then
you had an obvious preference.
151
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,962
So you like a certain pedigree.
152
00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:54,568
Mona, despite what you think,
153
00:05:54,658 --> 00:05:56,698
I like a lot of
different kinds of men,
154
00:05:56,791 --> 00:05:58,621
who I'm not meeting
talking to you.
155
00:05:58,706 --> 00:06:01,446
And thanks for reminding
me who is responsible
156
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:06,015
for my uncanny ability to
predict the weather with my ass!
157
00:06:06,453 --> 00:06:09,153
Rain's a'comin', people!
158
00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:13,107
Sweetness, why
do you keep crying?
159
00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:15,288
Your diaper's clean,
your tummy's full,
160
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,525
your trust fund is 6 figures.
161
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:17,940
What mo' could you want?
162
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,249
[Crying]
163
00:06:19,335 --> 00:06:21,245
Honestly, I'd cry,
too, if I constantly
164
00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:23,247
had to look at
that mug of yours.
165
00:06:23,339 --> 00:06:25,519
I'd love to trade
barbs with you,
166
00:06:25,602 --> 00:06:27,872
but my priority is
tending to this baby.
167
00:06:27,952 --> 00:06:30,612
Oh, my god! I
sound like a nanny!
168
00:06:30,694 --> 00:06:32,654
Speaking of which,
where is yours?
169
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,310
I fired her. We
didn't see eye-to-eye.
170
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,404
Maybe you should've
given her a step-stool.
171
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:38,484
Oh, tee-hee.
172
00:06:38,528 --> 00:06:40,358
Dee Dee was nothing like this.
173
00:06:40,443 --> 00:06:42,053
She was such an easy baby.
174
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,710
How would you know? You
had a nanny back then, too.
175
00:06:44,795 --> 00:06:46,665
Ah, yes, it was our
first extravagance.
176
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,454
Our second was hiring a lawyer
177
00:06:48,538 --> 00:06:50,098
to file a restraining
order against you.
178
00:06:51,541 --> 00:06:53,691
I have tried everything that
worked for little Dee Dee,
179
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,327
but my drew bear
won't stop crying.
180
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,285
Well, all babies are different.
181
00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,773
Give him here.
182
00:06:58,853 --> 00:07:01,683
[Crying]
183
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,729
Oh.
184
00:07:03,814 --> 00:07:04,954
Ohh.
185
00:07:05,033 --> 00:07:06,163
[Stops crying]
186
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:07,821
Look at that.
187
00:07:07,905 --> 00:07:11,165
Just a few weeks old and
already this boy has good taste.
188
00:07:11,256 --> 00:07:12,646
Yes, you do.
189
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:16,908
Now she'sfine.
190
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:20,881
Say hello to chauncey's
future baby mama.
191
00:07:20,962 --> 00:07:22,402
Ahem.
192
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,414
She wasn't your type anyway.
193
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:32,502
Yeah, yeah. You
can do better, dawg.
194
00:07:32,582 --> 00:07:35,412
Yo, Mona, I want
you to meet keno.
195
00:07:35,498 --> 00:07:37,458
Keno this is my sister Mona.
196
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,074
A'right. Nice to meet you, ma.
197
00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:41,504
You, too, pa.
198
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:43,421
Would you excuse
us for a second?
199
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,066
Ok. You made your point,
200
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,920
but we both know you
only brought him over here
201
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:47,994
to prove me wrong.
202
00:07:48,076 --> 00:07:50,026
Do you really
think I'm that sad?
203
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:52,381
That see-through?
That transparent?
204
00:07:52,472 --> 00:07:54,262
Yes.
205
00:07:54,343 --> 00:07:56,823
And you're wasting time talking
to someone you'd never date.
206
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:59,001
My taste isn't as
limited as you think.
207
00:07:59,087 --> 00:08:01,607
I once bought a
mascara at a drugstore.
208
00:08:01,698 --> 00:08:03,528
And I liked it.
209
00:08:03,613 --> 00:08:05,573
Ooh, you did retail
with regular people.
210
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:08,919
The queen came down.
211
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:10,580
Come on, keno.
212
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,974
Let's go do a shot of Tequila.
213
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:16,277
Yes, Mona. I do shots.
214
00:08:16,365 --> 00:08:18,445
My girl's got a wild side.
215
00:08:18,541 --> 00:08:21,281
I like that.
216
00:08:21,370 --> 00:08:22,760
He likes that.
217
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,769
Mona, remember you
said I could invite my ex
218
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,074
so she could meet somebody?
219
00:08:28,159 --> 00:08:29,549
No. I said she could come
220
00:08:29,639 --> 00:08:32,209
because you said I was
way prettier than she is.
221
00:08:32,294 --> 00:08:33,734
Well, she's here, so be nice.
222
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:37,557
Hey, us pretty people
are always nice.
223
00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:39,867
Hey, Roxanne.
224
00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:46,481
Roxanne, this is
my girlfriend Mona.
225
00:08:46,569 --> 00:08:49,349
Hi. You know, you
remind me of someone.
226
00:08:49,441 --> 00:08:52,361
Yeah, I've... I've
got a familiar face.
227
00:08:52,444 --> 00:08:54,494
Well, it was nice to meet you.
228
00:08:54,577 --> 00:08:56,877
Same here. Enjoy yourself.
229
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:01,186
You're right. I ammuch prettier.
230
00:09:01,279 --> 00:09:03,499
Well, I'm taking off.
231
00:09:03,586 --> 00:09:06,586
Keno's giving me a
ride on his motorcycle.
232
00:09:06,676 --> 00:09:09,456
You're going to ride on
a motorcycle with him?
233
00:09:09,549 --> 00:09:11,549
Don't you think you've
taken this far enough?
234
00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:15,558
Oh! You're uncomfortable
because I'm out of my box.
235
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:19,082
Guess you don't know
me or my type after all.
236
00:09:19,167 --> 00:09:23,257
Now, if you'll excuse
me, I've got a hog to ride.
237
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:26,997
She's not going to
ride a motorcycle.
238
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:29,738
The girl wear goggles
when she fries bacon.
239
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:32,012
How you doin' back there?
240
00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:33,833
You took that
last corner so fast,
241
00:09:33,921 --> 00:09:37,581
I saw my whole wardrobe
flash before my eyes.
242
00:09:37,664 --> 00:09:40,014
Yeah, I like the rush, too.
243
00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:41,621
I guess I shouldn't be scared.
244
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:43,581
You've probably been
doing this for years.
245
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,370
Nah, I just started
ridin' 3 days ago.
246
00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:47,625
Really?
247
00:09:47,717 --> 00:09:49,457
Hold on, mama. A
hairpin turn ahead.
248
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:52,675
Aah, Donna karan,
versace, dolce and gabbana.
249
00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:54,586
Ha ha ha ha!
250
00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:01,862
And then we rode his
motorcycle along the coast.
251
00:10:01,949 --> 00:10:04,429
I cringed as I watched
him get a tattoo,
252
00:10:04,516 --> 00:10:07,126
and then we ate something
called a grand slam.
253
00:10:07,215 --> 00:10:09,995
It was 9 days' worth
of food on a plate.
254
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:14,663
You know, you could've told
me all this over the phone.
255
00:10:14,744 --> 00:10:16,794
I wanted to see the
look on your face
256
00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:19,047
when you realized
how wrong you were.
257
00:10:19,140 --> 00:10:20,840
Well, be careful, Dee Dee.
258
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,534
You don't know this guy.
259
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,662
And I still think you're
in a little over your head.
260
00:10:24,711 --> 00:10:27,411
And I think that you can't
admit that I have a lot more depth
261
00:10:27,496 --> 00:10:29,666
than you give me credit for.
262
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:31,459
Ooh! New eye shadow?
263
00:10:31,543 --> 00:10:32,853
It's called sable cascade,
264
00:10:32,936 --> 00:10:34,456
it highlights but
doesn't overwhelm.
265
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,156
Hmm.
266
00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:39,254
So was Nick's ex-girlfriend
deja you or what?
267
00:10:39,334 --> 00:10:41,184
What are you talking about?
She doesn't look like me.
268
00:10:41,205 --> 00:10:42,785
Please. When I saw
the 2 of you together,
269
00:10:42,816 --> 00:10:46,036
I thought it was the third
mai-tai making me see double.
270
00:10:46,123 --> 00:10:47,173
Then I saw her cute shoes,
271
00:10:47,255 --> 00:10:49,205
and I knew it couldn't be you.
272
00:10:49,300 --> 00:10:50,870
I don't see it at all.
273
00:10:50,954 --> 00:10:53,134
Mona, Mona, Mona.
274
00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:56,737
There are none so blind
as she who will not see.
275
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:59,700
[Laughing] Hey, Mona, I
just wanted to thank you
276
00:10:59,789 --> 00:11:01,179
for getting me to
go to that party.
277
00:11:01,269 --> 00:11:02,659
If I hadn't,
278
00:11:02,749 --> 00:11:04,619
I wouldn't have hooked
up with Roxanne.
279
00:11:04,707 --> 00:11:05,617
You 2 met, right?
280
00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:07,228
Are you kidding?
281
00:11:07,318 --> 00:11:09,118
It's like they've known
each other their whole lives.
282
00:11:09,146 --> 00:11:10,536
I know what you mean.
283
00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:14,106
Spence and I hit it off
like we were old friends.
284
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:18,105
If you people aren't
going to get therapy, I am.
285
00:11:18,199 --> 00:11:19,679
Hey, here's your mail, Mona.
286
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:22,936
And somebody manhandled
your Victoria secret catalog.
287
00:11:23,030 --> 00:11:27,250
Especially the body by Victoria
seamless stretch panty page.
288
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,988
I think.
289
00:11:29,514 --> 00:11:31,394
I'm over here, chauncy.
290
00:11:31,473 --> 00:11:35,223
Whoa! You 2
could pass for twins.
291
00:11:35,303 --> 00:11:36,873
Hey, which of
you is the evil one?
292
00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:40,477
'Cause sometimes I'm bad, too.
293
00:11:41,309 --> 00:11:42,919
[Crying]
294
00:11:43,006 --> 00:11:45,836
Ok, gigantor, you need my
help with the baby again?
295
00:11:45,922 --> 00:11:47,182
Drew won't stop crying.
296
00:11:47,271 --> 00:11:49,361
And I don't want Charles
to see me like this.
297
00:11:49,447 --> 00:11:52,227
Looking like an ostrich
with a cockeyed wig?
298
00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:53,150
No.
299
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,414
I don't want him to think
300
00:11:54,496 --> 00:11:56,106
I have no maternal
instincts whatsoever.
301
00:11:56,193 --> 00:11:57,333
You don't.
302
00:11:57,412 --> 00:11:58,762
I have been a
mother for 23 years.
303
00:11:58,848 --> 00:12:00,758
Now please help me.
Do you want me to beg?
304
00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:03,240
For as long as I can remember.
305
00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,511
Ok, I'm begging.
306
00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:06,994
Ok. Gimme.
307
00:12:07,074 --> 00:12:08,084
Come on, precious.
308
00:12:08,162 --> 00:12:11,512
[Both cooing]
309
00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:15,210
Oh, oh, oh. Yes, yes, yes.
310
00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:17,479
Yes, yes.
311
00:12:17,562 --> 00:12:19,652
Oh. Oh, yes.
312
00:12:19,739 --> 00:12:20,869
Oh.
313
00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:21,997
[Stops crying]
314
00:12:22,089 --> 00:12:23,479
Uh-huh. Oh, yeah.
315
00:12:23,568 --> 00:12:24,868
Show me what you just did.
316
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:27,361
Well, they like to be
near a real bosom,
317
00:12:27,442 --> 00:12:30,012
so you may have to buy one.
318
00:12:30,097 --> 00:12:31,357
There must be a trick.
319
00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:33,266
I mean, all you old
wives have tricks.
320
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:35,281
Show me?
321
00:12:35,363 --> 00:12:37,713
All you have to do is
hold him tight on his side...
322
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:39,060
Yeah.
323
00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:41,889
And then give him a
nice, firm rhythmic tap
324
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:43,328
on his back.
325
00:12:43,414 --> 00:12:44,874
Since he can't see
where it comes from,
326
00:12:44,894 --> 00:12:48,774
it confuses him and
distracts him from crying.
327
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:49,675
Ohh.
328
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:50,899
Oh, precious.
329
00:12:50,987 --> 00:12:52,287
That is good.
330
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:55,730
I know. I've been a
mother for a long time.
331
00:12:55,818 --> 00:12:59,168
You aremuch older than me.
332
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:07,742
A'right, shorty. Welcome
to my side of town.
333
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,830
This place is right
out of the movies!
334
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:14,880
They even have one of
those electric bull thingies.
335
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:16,708
Yeah. You see,
around here we call that
336
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,356
the bucking pig
or the furious 5-0
337
00:13:19,450 --> 00:13:21,410
or the yahoo boys in
blue or sometimes...
338
00:13:21,496 --> 00:13:24,666
I get it. It's a
police reference.
339
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,460
You want to take a little ride?
340
00:13:26,544 --> 00:13:29,034
Me? Well, I'm not
sure if I could...
341
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:31,382
Ok.
342
00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:33,642
That's my girl.
343
00:13:33,725 --> 00:13:34,595
A'right!
344
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:35,683
Mount up!
345
00:13:46,173 --> 00:13:47,483
Is that fast enough for you?
346
00:13:47,565 --> 00:13:49,605
You kidding? I'm barely moving.
347
00:13:49,698 --> 00:13:51,478
Oh, a rough rider.
348
00:13:51,569 --> 00:13:53,049
I like that!
349
00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:56,356
I've ridden merry-go-rounds
with more kick.
350
00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:58,884
Crank it!
351
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:15,590
[Crowd whistles and hollers]
352
00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:20,423
Whoo!
353
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:23,041
Do they make a
home version of these?
354
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:25,603
Yeah, girl, you
wore that thing out.
355
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,820
I think it's all my years
of horseback riding,
356
00:14:27,910 --> 00:14:31,040
coupled with my fear of
falling and breaking a nail.
357
00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,701
I am so amped up.
358
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,444
I feel like I could
run a marathon
359
00:14:34,525 --> 00:14:38,695
or go skiing or hit every shoe
store from here to marin county.
360
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:42,320
Well, we could work it
out on the dance floor.
361
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:54,196
Wow! You're gorgeous, you dance
362
00:14:54,284 --> 00:14:57,034
and you ride the
bucking pig like a champ.
363
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:58,683
Anything you can't do?
364
00:14:58,767 --> 00:14:59,807
Of course.
365
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,089
Though off the top of my head,
366
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,157
I can't think of
what that would be.
367
00:15:08,516 --> 00:15:10,996
Yo, hold up. That's
my man Antoine.
368
00:15:11,084 --> 00:15:13,264
Me and him got this little
pool grudge match to settle.
369
00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:15,567
Hey, yo, 'toine! What up, boy?
370
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:17,393
Ready for the rematch?
371
00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:19,977
Baby, this ain't
gonna take long at all.
372
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:22,916
That fool plays
pool like his mama.
373
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:26,969
Which reminds me,
she still owes me $50.
374
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:29,356
Give me a kiss for luck, baby.
375
00:15:29,450 --> 00:15:31,800
A'right. Let's get
some balls crackin'!
376
00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:40,114
Did I just see you
kissin' my man?
377
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,510
Pardon me?
378
00:15:41,592 --> 00:15:43,772
I saw you puttin' your
Chanel lipstick on him,
379
00:15:43,855 --> 00:15:45,155
so don't lie.
380
00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:47,338
I think there's been
some sort of mistake.
381
00:15:47,424 --> 00:15:50,344
Oh, yes.
382
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:53,297
And you made it when
you slobbed down my keno.
383
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,167
Let's take it outside.
384
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:56,558
Why, what's outside?
385
00:15:58,261 --> 00:16:01,481
An ass-kickin' with
your name on it.
386
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:04,569
An ass... wait!
387
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,399
You want to fight me?
388
00:16:06,487 --> 00:16:07,617
Over a man?
389
00:16:07,705 --> 00:16:08,705
That's what I'm sayin'.
390
00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,013
Well, I don't do that.
391
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:13,189
Then you can just get beat down.
392
00:16:13,276 --> 00:16:15,056
Excuse me for a sec, would you?
393
00:16:15,148 --> 00:16:18,368
I just want to get my purse. Ok?
394
00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,405
Nice knowing you, keno!
395
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,470
Yes, you are, my love.
396
00:16:28,552 --> 00:16:30,082
Hello, Phyllis.
397
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:31,603
Big Dee Dee.
398
00:16:31,686 --> 00:16:33,636
Come to beg for
more of what I've got
399
00:16:33,731 --> 00:16:35,431
and you are sadly missing?
400
00:16:36,908 --> 00:16:38,428
No, dear. You keep your hips.
401
00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:40,299
They're your trademark.
402
00:16:41,609 --> 00:16:44,349
Your benz handles like a dream!
403
00:16:44,438 --> 00:16:47,178
And you can drive it anytime.
404
00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:50,137
Oh, then I'm taking it
to Tahoe this weekend.
405
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,596
And by the way, I
need this weekend off.
406
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:53,059
Oh, ok.
407
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:55,062
Oh, I'm just sure he
needs to be changed again.
408
00:16:55,144 --> 00:16:56,494
Yes.
409
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,040
I'll just go upstairs
and take care of that.
410
00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:00,370
And thanks again
for the coat and bag.
411
00:17:00,454 --> 00:17:01,454
My pleasure.
412
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:02,928
And on Dee Dee's coffee table,
413
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,502
there's a small trinket
I got you at Tiffany's.
414
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,369
You are spoiling me!
415
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:08,331
Ha ha!
416
00:17:08,418 --> 00:17:10,198
That's what mothers do.
417
00:17:10,290 --> 00:17:12,030
Ha ha ha.
418
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,658
You'd lavish your
nanny with gifts just so
419
00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:16,214
you don't have to
admit that you need me?
420
00:17:16,296 --> 00:17:17,946
Yes.
421
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:22,129
So as of now, you
and your baby voodoo
422
00:17:22,215 --> 00:17:23,345
are no longer needed.
423
00:17:23,433 --> 00:17:24,613
Ha ha ha.
424
00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:27,565
Fine. But I saw Nina
and drew last week
425
00:17:27,655 --> 00:17:30,005
buying polyblend
onesies at the swap meet.
426
00:17:33,487 --> 00:17:35,047
She'll be back.
427
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:36,663
[Knock on door]
428
00:17:38,405 --> 00:17:40,795
Hey, Mona, do you
have any of that stuff
429
00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:42,315
they use for muscle aches?
430
00:17:42,409 --> 00:17:43,149
Liniment?
431
00:17:43,236 --> 00:17:45,276
No, liquor.
432
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,195
Dee Dee, what happened to you?
433
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,294
Oh, keno took me to a club
434
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:53,423
where I rode a
mechanical police officer,
435
00:17:53,507 --> 00:17:56,677
and the women had
questionable hygiene.
436
00:17:56,771 --> 00:17:58,251
Then he kissed me
437
00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:00,078
and some Amazon
with acrylic nails
438
00:18:00,166 --> 00:18:02,556
said that he was her
man and we had to fight.
439
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:04,466
Outside! In the cold!
440
00:18:06,433 --> 00:18:07,223
What did you do?
441
00:18:07,303 --> 00:18:08,573
I ran!
442
00:18:08,652 --> 00:18:10,832
And then she and her
friends caught up to me.
443
00:18:10,915 --> 00:18:15,615
Apparently a lot of inner
city chicks excel in track.
444
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:18,623
Anyhoo, I did what any
Thorne would do in that situation.
445
00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:19,746
Play dead.
446
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:23,797
No. I blinded her with giorgio.
447
00:18:23,885 --> 00:18:25,495
Then I ducked down an alley,
448
00:18:25,582 --> 00:18:27,112
which apparently
is a neighborhood
449
00:18:27,193 --> 00:18:29,203
if you live in a
refrigerator box.
450
00:18:29,282 --> 00:18:30,812
Then I broke a heel
451
00:18:30,892 --> 00:18:33,682
and finally I ended
up at a bus stop!
452
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,724
You rode a city bus?
453
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:38,730
And it was terrible!
454
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:41,383
No first class section,
no assigned seats,
455
00:18:41,468 --> 00:18:43,028
and they won't
drop you at your door
456
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:45,252
no matter how much you tip.
457
00:18:45,341 --> 00:18:46,821
And as much as
I hate to admit it,
458
00:18:46,908 --> 00:18:48,038
you were onto something.
459
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,997
The whole type thing.
460
00:18:50,085 --> 00:18:51,645
Oh, that.
461
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:54,959
Your type... a credential-havin',
wing-tip wearin',
462
00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:58,176
bankroll-rollin',
Brooks brother, brother.
463
00:18:59,007 --> 00:19:00,097
Yes, that.
464
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,442
But now I know it's ok
465
00:19:01,531 --> 00:19:03,621
if he also has a littleedge.
466
00:19:03,707 --> 00:19:04,817
He just can't have
an ex-girlfriend
467
00:19:04,839 --> 00:19:06,409
who's not afraid to do time.
468
00:19:08,756 --> 00:19:10,846
I still have my standards.
469
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:16,894
Nick, can I ask you something?
470
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:20,031
Am I a breast man?
471
00:19:20,115 --> 00:19:23,375
No, I've got the
answer to that one.
472
00:19:23,466 --> 00:19:25,816
I just want you to
tell me honestly.
473
00:19:25,903 --> 00:19:29,263
Are you dating me because
I look so much like Roxanne?
474
00:19:29,342 --> 00:19:32,042
No, not at all.
475
00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:34,087
Admit it, Nick. You have a type.
476
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:37,183
I need to know I'm not just
some replacement for her,
477
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:40,053
that you see me
as uniquely Mona.
478
00:19:40,135 --> 00:19:41,825
Uniquely Mona, huh?
479
00:19:41,919 --> 00:19:43,179
You mean how your hair
480
00:19:43,269 --> 00:19:44,719
smells like fresh-cut
roses during the week
481
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:46,358
but like Jasmine on the weekend.
482
00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:50,616
The Jasmine's a
sample. I'm rationing it.
483
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,821
Or how you get embarrassed
when I give you compliments
484
00:19:52,843 --> 00:19:55,043
and you look down when I
tell you how beautiful you are.
485
00:19:55,063 --> 00:19:57,853
I don't do that.
486
00:19:57,935 --> 00:19:58,995
Or how you like your coffee
487
00:19:59,023 --> 00:20:00,163
with a splash of cream,
488
00:20:00,242 --> 00:20:02,422
your bath with a
touch of Mr. Bubble,
489
00:20:02,505 --> 00:20:04,585
and your sheets tucked in
everywhere but your feet...
490
00:20:04,681 --> 00:20:08,421
Both: So the toes can breathe!
491
00:20:08,511 --> 00:20:09,511
Wow.
492
00:20:09,599 --> 00:20:11,209
I guess you do know the real me.
493
00:20:11,297 --> 00:20:14,167
And I'm not just
some Roxanne clone.
494
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,686
No, you're Mona,
495
00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:18,390
the woman I can't
get out of my head.
496
00:20:18,478 --> 00:20:20,478
Good. That's what
I was going for.
497
00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:51,599
Whoo-hoo! Ha ha ha!
498
00:20:51,649 --> 00:20:56,199
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Wolof