Original subtitles

[Indistinct chatter]

This is ridiculous. I mean, the press is here.

Where the hell is big phat slim Jim?

It's his listening party. Ooh!

Spencer, don't touch the food before the artist gets here.

You taught methat.

But big phat is 2 hours late.

It's real imitation crab.

If you're that hungry, there's a granola bar

in the top drawer of my desk.

Not anymore. I ate that an hour ago.

Mona, this is so exciting.

And don't I look great?

This party's for big phat.

Hard as it is to believe, tonight's so not about you.

Dee Dee! Finally, a touch of fabulous in a snooze-a-palooza.

Big phat's gonna be here any hour.

Did you check the list I gave you? Mona, please.

Tonight is so not about you.

[Gasps]Finally, big phat.

What's up, y'all? Hey, grab that shrimp, man.

Hey, you, come on.

Ehh!

You, you...

Ha, yeah. That's what I'm talking about.

Y'all know what this means.

We can eat!

♪ Through this journey of discovery ♪

♪ in finding you and finding me ♪

♪ now that I have someone special ♪

♪ who brings out the joy ♪ ♪ who brings out the joy ♪

♪ inside of me ♪ ♪ inside of me ♪

♪ we can become whatever we want ♪

♪ all we need is lovin' you ♪

♪ that's the way our feelings should be ♪

♪ you and me ♪

[Off-key] ♪ me ♪

Ooh. [Chuckles]

Big phat and I work very closely. You know that song?

♪ I supersized your order and you drove through my heart ♪

♪ let me be your whopper tonight ♪

You thought of that? Nope.

But the two of us was chillin' at burger king when he wrote it. Really?

Yeah, baby.Spencer.

The caterer is making out with Adam in the closet.

I could use a little help here.

Not now. Can you see I'm networking?

I call it not working.

Whoa! Ohh!

Damn, you ok?

Yeah. Thanks.

I'm not usually that clumsy.

Well, actually I am.

But catering isn't my real job. I work here at delicious.

Oh, what do you do?

A & r. I'm Mona Thorne.

And the only catering I do

is to the artist's every whim.

I can't help but feel some avarice.

Developing new acts,

hanging out with the artist,

breaking up fights at award shows.

Hey, I love my job,

but sometimes I think this business

is more about coming up with a soundtrack

or the next Nike commercial than artistic expression.

Wow, I've never heard a music executive be so candid.

Except for when they're being held out of a window by a rapper.

So... what brings you to the party?

I write for urbmagazine. Hamilton Brooks.

Oh, I've read your stuff!

How would you like to be in it? Your stuff?

I prefer to call it a column.

You want to interview me? Yeah.

Yeah. You seem to have a fresh take on the industry.

Well, I don't know. Can I think about it?

Mona, can I talk to you now?

Excuse me, Hamilton.

I was actually talking to a cute guy

with no gold teeth who thinks I'm insightful.

You can't turn down an interview. Aren't you always talking about how someday

you want to have your own record company?

This is a chance to get your name on the industry radar.

But I don't have anything interesting to say.

I know that...

But he thinks you do.

You can't pass this up.

Maybe you're right.

Hamilton, I thought about it, and yes.

Wow. Decisive. I like that.

I'll call and set up a time.

All right.

Congratulations. You're on your way.

Yeah. Look out world, here comes Mona Thorne.

Set that to music, get a young Leslie uggams to play you,

and I am so there.

Ooh, a whole article about my little girl.

Oh, I am so proud of you, Mona.

I can't wait to read about how it's all thanks to your mother,

about the sacrifices she made to get you where you are,

and how, you know, she had to work 2 jobs...

Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma.

He's interested in music. I like music.

That's where you get it from.

I just don't understand. I've worked in this industry longer than you have,

and he wants to interview you.

Damn. Sometimes I wish I had breasts.

Spencer, I've seen pictures of you in high school.

You did.

Heh. All I'm saying is

why didn't this Hamilton guy ask me?

Oh, you were networking, remember?

Oh, yeah. She was nice...

Real nice.

Well, who cares about an interview anyway?

I wouldn't want to say something stupid

and have thousands of people read it.

My daughter will not say something stupid.

You won't, will you? Dee Dee: Of course not.

Mona's well aware that the top industry people will be reading this

and making judgments based on every single word she says,

and she'll do the best she can under that pressure.

You will, won't you?

Well, thanks for the faith, everybody.

Hey, Mona, I can help you prep.

I was a reporter on my college paper.

I wrote searing exposes on grade inflation,

black market steroids, and the dangers of using other people's mascara.

I'll be fine. I don't need any help.

I'll just talk about how music is, like,

you know, really important,

and how, like, I, like, have some ideas,

about how to make it, like, you know,

better.

And I'd like to thank my mother for getting me where I am today.

Don't thank me for that.

Well, I've forgiven your father for working on Valentine's day,

but I don't think coco has.

Coco's a dog, mother.

A sensitive dog.

There's a faraway look in her eyes

when she humps his slipper now.

Anyway, that's for them to work out.

I can't play peacekeeper all the time.

[Knock on door]

Ok, Dee Dee, let's do this.

Mom, Mona and I have some work to do for her magazine interview.

But I just refreshed my white Russian. Pretend I'm not here.

Ok. So we'll do a mock interview,

and I'll give you notes as we go.Ok.

Ahh! shh!

All right. Miss Thorne, how long have you been in the music business?

Uh, let's see.

I guess it's been, like...

3 years?[Imitates buzzer]

What? It's been 3 years.

Yeah, and it took you, like, 3 years to answer the question.

You have to keep it short and simple,

that means no "uh's," "like's," or "you know's".

And if you don't know the answer to a question, say,

"I'll have to get back to you on that."

Now, miss Thorne, what's your toughest challenge

in the music business?

Uh... ohh!

Finding talented artists...

And the contact high you get backstage.

What? That was a joke.

Don't joke. It seems needy.

Now... for my next... all right, I can't take it anymore.

Cookie dough, are you being interviewed by a man?

Yeah.

Then there's no need to prep.

Just suck in your cheeks,

stick out your chest,

and speak with a low voice.

It doesn't matter what you say.

[Low voice] He'll be putty in your hands.

Mom, you're setting feminism back 40 years.

Please. I'm a staunch supporter of feminism.

It's the only thing that gives the ugly girls a chance.

Mona, don't listen to my mother.

Just be professional, be concise, and be serious.

As I was saying...

Ok, let's switch directions.

How do you think the music business is changing?

Dee Dee: Be professional, be concise, and be serious.

More competitive, more diverse.

You want to expand on that?

No.

Mona, we've been at this for almost an hour,

and you still seem a little uncomfortable.

You sure you're cool? I'll have to get back to you on that.

[Sighs] You know, I think it's the tape recorder. I can't stop staring at it.

I tell you what. If it'll help, I'll put it out of sight.

Ok. So...

How about your thoughts on the future...

Miss Thorne! I brewed some fresh coffee, and...

Ohh, I didn't know you were in a meeting.

Hello. Adam benet.

That's b-e-n-e-t.

No relation to Eric,

although, I also cried tears of joy

when Halle won her Oscar.

I'm the communications liaison.

He's the receptionist.[Chuckles harshly]

Miss Thorne's quick wit keeps us all hopping.

And you can quote me on that... In the article.

I have a picture if you need one.

Weren't you at the party?

You were the one dirty dancing with the coat rack.

Oh, phone's ringing. Gotta go.

So... sorry about that.

Uh, no sweat, no sweat.

So, what do you think about the state of hip-hop?

Too violent? Too commercial?

Well, I guess I'd have to say that the vio...

Mona, this week's sound scan's out, and I had some thoughts on how...

Hey, Hamilton Brooks, right?

Spencer Williams. Well, you know, being her mentor and all,

Mona probably mentioned me. No, I don't think so.

Spencer, we're in the middle of an interview.

Oh, right. Your interview,

where I'm sure you'll get around to mentioning me...

Spencer Williams,

her mentor.

The guy who got her the job.

Sorry about that. Where were we? No problem.

Let's, um... temple, what do you want?

I just wanted to tell you about a conversation I had with Elton...

Sir Elton...

John, that is.

I know him.

Fresh pastries! Ok! Hamilton, will you excuse me?

No, but I just...

Would you guys stop barging in?

You're not the only bloke here who wants a little fame.

That's right. Spread the love.

Nobody likes a media hog.

Look, Mona. I think I have everything I need.

Thanks for the time, but I got to get going. However,

would you like to have dinner with me tonight?

Really? Sure, I'd love to.

Excellent. I'll meet you after work.

All right.

Wow. I'm gonna get my name in print and I have a hot date.

It's win-win. I've never had the win-win.

What a waste of good buns. Well, you can give 'em out to the staff.

I was talking about Hamilton.

You didn't have to walk me to my door.

I didn't want to say good-bye yet. I'm having too good a time.

Boy, was that the right thing to say.

I'm a journalist. I'm good with words.

I'm tempted to ask what else you're good at,

but that might sound like a come-on.

So what else you good at?

Making my deadline, so I better take off.

Well, thank you for dinner.

My pleasure. Thank you for the interview.

And thank you for the interviewing.

And thank you for being so interviewable.

And thank you for... I'm out.

Guess I have nothing left to thank you for.

How about this?

Thank you.

No, thank you.

God bless the press.

[Knock on door]

[Knock knock knock knock knock knock]

[Knock knock knock]

[Knock knock]

[Knock]

Extry, extry! Read all about it!

Mona Thorne interview hot off the presses!

I got the first copy off the truck.

Well, not the first copy. That one was kind of skanky.

It's out already? I talked to Hamilton a few times,

but he didn't say anything about it coming out today.

Maybe he wanted to time it with big phat's album release.

Would you just read it? I resisted the whole way over.

Look. There's your picture. Oh, my god.

Could my forehead be any more cro-magnon?

You look beautiful, and if you're not gonna read it, give it to me.

"Mona Thorne... an up-and-coming a & r executive

"at delicious records has developed such successful acts

as Dante and big phat slim Jim."

This Mona Thorne sounds impressive.

"However, according to miss Thorne,

"often the music business has very little to do with music.

"I spend more time catering

"to big phat's outrageous partying and womanizing

"than working on his music,

said the frustrated a & r exec."

What? I never said that.

According to this, you said a whole lot more.

What?

"The way that guy drinks,

I'm glad he doesn't rap with his liver."

Yikes."he's so bad

Rick James won't even go to his parties."

Oh, my god. When everyone reads this I'll be ruined.

Why would Hamilton do this to me?

Mona, relax. Nobody who matters is gonna read this.

Look what I got!

I am so proud of you, baby.

Ma, how can you say that? Didn't you read it?

No. I just looked at the picture. It's gorgeous.

You look just like me.

What now? Is this about your forehead again?

You know you got that from your father.

Yeah, tell me about it.Ohh.

[Elevator dings]

Good morning, Mona.

Adam, hi.

I read your article.

It's been nice knowing you.

Spencer, has everybody read that article?

Everybody except the blind guy at the news stand,

but somebody read it to him, and he's pissed.

[Scoffs] This is all a big misunderstanding.

Boss lady's coming. Look busy.

Busy, I say.

Erika's coming? That can't be good.

She hasn't been here since she fired the third floor.

Yep. Somebody's head is gonna roll.

Why is everybody looking at me?

Ok. I know why you're looking at me, but stop looking at me.

Come on, people. You can look busier than that.

Miss Duke, you look fierce.

The way you're working that red, it makes all the other colors jealous.

Do you really think kissing my ass is gonna impress me?

Well, I found it to be the most effective way to deal with powerful,

vivacious women such as yourself.

Adam, you know Erika doesn't like people sucking up.

She's too smart and beautiful for all that.

And y'all wonder why I don't come down here more often.

Mona. Can I see you in your office?

Is it too late for me to kiss your ass?

[Nervous laughter]

Erika, I know this is about the article,

but that reporter completely twisted my words around.

Let me guess. Did he take you out for a fancy dinner,

buy you a few cheap drinks to get you to let your guard down?

Yes. Exactly. I knew you would understand. You're a woman.

I am a woman... a businesswoman.

And I'm also an unmarried woman. That makes me kind of tense.

So I don't like it when I have to come down here and deal with your inability

to separate the personal from the professional.

That makes me an evil woman.

I'm getting that. Mona, the most important part of your job

is to protect your artist.

And when you can't do that, that makes me very upset.

And now that idiot big phat...

Our biggest artist who's an even bigger

pain in my ass... Can't trust you.

Erika, I've already put a call into Hamilton. I'll get him to print a retraction.

If you can make that happen, I'll talk to big phat.

If not, you're gonna have to pack it up, sister.

Oh.mona,

I just found your medication.

No wonder you been acting so crazy, girl.

Are you really on my payroll?

Wha... did... Get out. I'm trying to help.

[Knock on door]

Mona. Hey, I was just about to call you back. What did you think about the article?

I think it was a big pile... miss Thorne. I advise you not to say anything else

without first consulting counsel.

And as you can see by my power suit, that's me.

What's going on? I'm about a minute away from shoving that article...

Miss Thorne demands a retraction of your defamatory article

and an explanation as to why you printed

these disparaging comments...

Such as... "Big phat's favorite drink: Cristal.

His favorite meal: Groupies."

So, what do you have to say?

I think I'm gonna let Mona do the talking.

Mona on tape: You wanna know big phat's favorite drink? Cristal.

Oh, his favorite meal: Groupies.

Waiter, another apple-tini!

You recorded our date?

We were at dinner.

Which was a part of the interview.

But I thought that was off the record.

You never said it was off the record. There nothing in that article you didn't say.

Oh.well...

This unexpected development

sheds new light on the case.

There's only one thing to do.

Unfortunately, we don't cover that in law school till next semester.

Don't worry about it, Dee Dee. Just give me a second with Hamilton.

Mona, I was just doing my job as a journalist.

Oh, so you just pretended to be interested in me

so you could make me look bad.

I wasn't pretending.

And I thought you would be happy with the article.

[Sarcastic chuckle]I didn't think you'd be happy,

but you should be proud of your convictions.

I guess I can be proud of them on the unemployment line.

You got fired?

After this I will be.

Why don't you make that your next story.

Ooh! Heh heh!

[Sighs] You know, it's not gonna be the same without you around here.

You think so?

I knowso.

Mona...

We heard the news.

We're really sorry.

Thanks, temple.

So, I don't know exactly how to say this...

It's ok, Dave. I'm gonna miss you, too.

Yeah, that's great. Actually... I was gonna ask if I could have your chair.

No, no, no. We talked about this.

When she gets fired, I get the chair.

You said you wanted the cabinet.

No. You said I wanted the cabinet.

I said I wanted the chair.

People, have some humanity.

The body's still warm.

Get out there and do your job so you don't end up like her.

Mona, honey, don't mind those vultures.

Your real friends are there for you.

We're gonna miss you something awful. Ohh!

Give me a squeeze, girlfriend.

So you got everything?

I guess so.

Except my career.

Mona, it's gonna work out.

You'll land on your feet. You always do.

I'll believe it when it happens.

Well, I gotta get back to...

Work.yeah.

Call you tonight?

[Sighs]

Oh, you guys,

you shouldn't have done that for me.

Oh, we didn't.

It's, uh, it's Henderson's birthday.

Oh. Great.

Well, I love cake. Sorry, Mona. We only have enough for employees.

[Elevator dings]

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