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1
00:00:03,264 --> 00:00:06,534
[Blows air through lips]
2
00:00:06,615 --> 00:00:07,935
I Don't suppose I
can convince you
3
00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:09,274
to sit in the other section.
4
00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:10,657
Where's that?
5
00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:13,489
The restaurant next door.
6
00:00:13,578 --> 00:00:17,628
If you tell them it's your
birthday, you get a balloon.
7
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:20,933
You can't fool us, Tina.
We know you like us.
8
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:26,161
Apparently, I can fool you.
9
00:00:26,243 --> 00:00:28,943
Ah, look, Mona, a
special Valentine's drink.
10
00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:30,249
"Love on the rocks."
11
00:00:30,334 --> 00:00:32,644
Vodka, bitters,
and a shot of regret.
12
00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:35,248
That's got your
name all over it.
13
00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:37,819
Valentine's is
coming again? Damn!
14
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:39,297
Do you know I am
barely recovered
15
00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:41,947
from being dateless
on new year's.
16
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,782
Well, i've planned an evening
17
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:45,959
for Neil he'll never forget.
18
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,476
Although he says
he can't forget
19
00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:49,789
anynight he's spent with me.
20
00:00:49,875 --> 00:00:51,415
Why Don't you just drive
this through my hand?
21
00:00:51,442 --> 00:00:53,232
It would hurt less.
22
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:54,554
Come on, Mona, you've got to be
23
00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,136
doing something
for Valentine's.
24
00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,190
Oh, just the usual.
Spending it alone...
25
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:00,355
With Spencer.
It's our tradition.
26
00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,151
Well, this year i'm
breaking tradition.
27
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:03,596
And Spencer saying
he's breaking tradition
28
00:01:03,628 --> 00:01:06,758
is our most cherished tradition.
29
00:01:06,849 --> 00:01:08,109
I mean it this time.
30
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:09,678
There's gotta be
one love-starved,
31
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:14,765
desperate woman who
hasn't turned me down yet.
32
00:01:14,857 --> 00:01:16,767
There's gotta be another one.
33
00:01:18,513 --> 00:01:23,263
♪ Through this
journey of discovery ♪
34
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:28,184
♪ you're finding
you, i'm finding me ♪
35
00:01:28,262 --> 00:01:31,312
♪ now that I have
someone special ♪
36
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:33,175
♪ who brings out the joy ♪
37
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:34,397
♪ brings out the joy ♪
38
00:01:34,485 --> 00:01:37,705
♪ inside of me ♪
39
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:40,103
♪ we can become
whatever we want ♪
40
00:01:40,187 --> 00:01:42,277
♪ all we need is lovin', yeah ♪
41
00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:45,933
♪ that's the way I
feel it should be ♪
42
00:01:46,018 --> 00:01:48,238
♪ you and me ♪
43
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:52,675
[Off-key] ♪ me ♪ooh.
44
00:01:57,204 --> 00:02:00,954
♪ And if you can't be with
the one you love, honey ♪
45
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,623
♪ love the one you with,
hello, love the one you with ♪
46
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:04,604
Hello. ♪ Love the
one you're with ♪
47
00:02:04,689 --> 00:02:06,649
♪ doot, doot, doot, doot,
doot, doot, doot, doot ♪
48
00:02:06,691 --> 00:02:08,321
♪ doot, doot, doot, doot,
doot, a baby bubba, now ♪
49
00:02:08,345 --> 00:02:10,125
♪ doot, doot, doot,
doot, doot, doot, ow! ♪
50
00:02:10,217 --> 00:02:11,497
♪ Doot, doot,
doot, doot doot... ♪
51
00:02:11,522 --> 00:02:13,262
Ma!
52
00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:16,270
Damn, I had one "doot" left.
53
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:18,053
What are you so happy about?
54
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,748
Morgan Freeman finally
answer your letters?
55
00:02:21,837 --> 00:02:24,537
No, but his lawyers did.
56
00:02:24,622 --> 00:02:27,712
I guess my last love
poem was a little raw.
57
00:02:27,799 --> 00:02:30,929
But that man's been hot
since electric company.
58
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:33,040
And i'm excited because
Valentine's is almost here.
59
00:02:33,065 --> 00:02:34,975
And that day for a therapist
60
00:02:35,067 --> 00:02:37,677
is like tax season for a c.P.A.
61
00:02:37,766 --> 00:02:40,376
I am booked solid
with losers-at-love.
62
00:02:40,464 --> 00:02:45,084
I Don't mean to be
insensitive, but Ka-ching!
63
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,905
Well, it's just another
lonely Mona day for me.
64
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:49,713
Maybe you'll find
yourself a man this year.
65
00:02:49,778 --> 00:02:51,868
Ma, i'm surrounded by
men everyvalentine's.
66
00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:53,134
Orville redenbacher,
67
00:02:53,216 --> 00:02:56,046
captain crunch, dr pepper.
68
00:02:56,132 --> 00:02:59,142
You always wanted me
to end up with a doctor.
69
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,242
You know, just when I
think you've hit rock bottom,
70
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:04,008
you start digging a tunnel.
71
00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:05,446
Why are you so down on yourself?
72
00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:08,143
'cause, romance
never works out for me.
73
00:03:08,231 --> 00:03:09,411
Oh, excuse me, you've had
74
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:11,153
several good
opportunities this year.
75
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,934
Remember Brian, the
bug guy? He liked you.
76
00:03:13,018 --> 00:03:15,108
Well, I told him off in
an angry phone rage.
77
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:16,295
Well, how about
miles, that sports writer?
78
00:03:16,326 --> 00:03:17,756
He was really good looking.
79
00:03:17,849 --> 00:03:20,849
Oh, told him off in
an angry bar rage.
80
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:22,399
Well, what about
Calvin? He seemed nice.
81
00:03:22,419 --> 00:03:24,289
Oh, he was. But his
boyfriend told me off
82
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:27,468
in an angry disco rage.
83
00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:29,095
You know I probably
should have been suspicious
84
00:03:29,121 --> 00:03:32,261
when Calvin introduced
me as "miss thing."
85
00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,779
[Telephone rings]
86
00:03:37,869 --> 00:03:45,009
[Ring ring]
87
00:03:45,094 --> 00:03:46,364
Whatcha doing?
88
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:49,663
Uh, just drinking
in your beauty.
89
00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:52,621
Good answer.
90
00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:53,930
Neil, i'm not sharing you
91
00:03:54,016 --> 00:03:56,236
with anyone from
your office right now.
92
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:57,633
They want some hot chocolate,
93
00:03:57,715 --> 00:03:59,795
they'll have to
send out for it.
94
00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:02,551
Baby, I promise.
Whenever i'm with you,
95
00:04:02,633 --> 00:04:07,643
work doesn't exist.
96
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:10,685
Ooh! I better get dressed.
97
00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,272
Why? It's not like
there's some kind of
98
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:14,685
judgmental prude
around or anything.
99
00:04:14,776 --> 00:04:16,996
Hello, hello.
100
00:04:17,082 --> 00:04:18,392
Oh, good. You're both here.
101
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:19,705
I thought i'd locked the door.
102
00:04:19,737 --> 00:04:20,847
And I thought I had
a sound marriage.
103
00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:23,569
Looks like we were both wrong.
104
00:04:23,654 --> 00:04:24,944
Maybe you two
need to talk. I'll just...
105
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,570
Neil!
106
00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,197
How can a man have a
pager and a cell phone...
107
00:04:28,224 --> 00:04:31,624
And still be unable to
communicate with his wife?
108
00:04:31,706 --> 00:04:36,796
Uh, he doesn't have
her e-mail address.
109
00:04:36,885 --> 00:04:38,885
I can see you're going
to be of no help here.
110
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:39,764
You're dismissed. Go, go, go.
111
00:04:39,844 --> 00:04:42,674
Thank you, ma'am.
112
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:44,760
Mom, what's going
on with you and daddy?
113
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:45,939
I am just tired of that man
114
00:04:46,024 --> 00:04:47,684
not being emotionally available.
115
00:04:47,765 --> 00:04:50,155
I can't keep filling
the void with shopping.
116
00:04:50,246 --> 00:04:53,856
Although Tiffany took away
some of the pain this morning.
117
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:55,765
Have you talked
to daddy about this?
118
00:04:55,860 --> 00:04:58,690
Talked? Please.
Face it, little me,
119
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,166
all men are the same.
120
00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:02,126
Except for that Morgan Freeman.
121
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:06,044
You know, he has been hot
ever since electric company.
122
00:05:06,131 --> 00:05:07,131
I tell you.
123
00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:14,745
Excuse me.
124
00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:16,836
Do you believe in
love at first sight?
125
00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:23,145
Or should I walk by again?
126
00:05:23,235 --> 00:05:24,105
Hard to believe you beat out
127
00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:30,203
100 million other sperm.
128
00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:31,456
Smooth.
129
00:05:31,548 --> 00:05:33,768
Cheesy and
humiliating, but smooth.
130
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:35,415
I'm starting to wonder
131
00:05:35,509 --> 00:05:37,379
if all three of us
aren't gonna be alone.
132
00:05:37,467 --> 00:05:40,037
Neil hasn't even mentioned
any Valentine's day plans.
133
00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:41,732
It's a man thing.
134
00:05:41,819 --> 00:05:43,939
You see, we brothers like
to keep the ladies guessing.
135
00:05:43,995 --> 00:05:45,165
It adds to our mystique.
136
00:05:45,257 --> 00:05:46,427
Where did you read that,
137
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,220
brains in our pants monthly?
138
00:05:49,305 --> 00:05:50,735
He's got a point.
139
00:05:50,828 --> 00:05:53,608
An idiotic one, but a point.
140
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:55,701
I'll bet Neil's planning
to surprise me,
141
00:05:55,790 --> 00:05:57,270
and I love surprises.
142
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:58,807
As long as I know
about them in advance
143
00:05:58,836 --> 00:06:00,796
so I can do my makeup.
144
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:01,922
If I have to listen to you
145
00:06:01,970 --> 00:06:03,280
yap on about your boyfriend,
146
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:04,473
i'm gonna need a
shot of something
147
00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:06,544
and a chaser.
148
00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:09,757
Uh-oh, i'm so sorry.
149
00:06:09,847 --> 00:06:14,197
I knew if I waited long
enough, you'd apologize.
150
00:06:14,286 --> 00:06:15,936
Brian.
151
00:06:16,027 --> 00:06:17,457
I didn't expect
to see you here.
152
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:19,071
Or ever again.
153
00:06:19,161 --> 00:06:21,121
Hmm. You know what my
phone hasn't been the same
154
00:06:21,206 --> 00:06:22,446
since you told me off that day.
155
00:06:22,512 --> 00:06:25,862
I think it actually melted.
156
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:28,040
Well, you still should
have called me
157
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,516
after our night together,
158
00:06:29,606 --> 00:06:32,296
but I guess I did handle
things pretty badly.
159
00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:33,182
No, no, no, no.
160
00:06:33,262 --> 00:06:36,132
I did. I...
161
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:39,921
Look, Mona... I
really liked you.
162
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:43,878
It's just that when we
got so close so fast...
163
00:06:43,968 --> 00:06:45,138
I got scared.
164
00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:46,510
And then after you yelled at me,
165
00:06:46,580 --> 00:06:51,150
I got really scared.
166
00:06:51,236 --> 00:06:52,796
But, uh...
167
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:55,200
It is nice to see you again.
168
00:06:55,284 --> 00:06:57,204
I was just thinking
the same thing.
169
00:06:57,286 --> 00:07:02,676
Hmm. We did have a really
incredible night together.
170
00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:05,470
I was just thinking
the same thing.
171
00:07:05,555 --> 00:07:07,635
So are... are you
here with anybody?
172
00:07:07,731 --> 00:07:09,391
Oh, just Spencer and my sister.
173
00:07:09,472 --> 00:07:10,912
How about you?
174
00:07:10,995 --> 00:07:13,475
Uh, actually, I
am. But it's a guy.
175
00:07:13,563 --> 00:07:15,783
His name's not Calvin, is it?
176
00:07:15,870 --> 00:07:17,310
No. He's my cousin.
177
00:07:17,393 --> 00:07:18,833
Hey, Brian. Who's your new...
178
00:07:18,916 --> 00:07:21,876
Whoa!
179
00:07:21,963 --> 00:07:22,793
It's you.
180
00:07:22,877 --> 00:07:25,177
Miles?
181
00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,360
Am I on a hidden camera
show or something?
182
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,007
Is this for fox?
183
00:07:30,101 --> 00:07:31,451
What? You two know each other?
184
00:07:31,538 --> 00:07:32,838
Yeah.
185
00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,500
Miles and I dated, too,
186
00:07:34,584 --> 00:07:37,594
until he told me I
wasn't black enough.
187
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:39,374
This is the girl I
told you about.
188
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,719
You're kidding.
189
00:07:40,808 --> 00:07:42,808
This is the girl
I told youabout.
190
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:44,937
This is psycho?
191
00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:46,029
Yeah.
192
00:07:46,074 --> 00:07:48,824
This is whitey?
193
00:07:48,903 --> 00:07:50,123
Yeah.
194
00:07:50,208 --> 00:07:52,558
Yeah, that's me. Psycho-whitey.
195
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:55,556
Looks great on
my business cards.
196
00:07:55,649 --> 00:07:58,039
Hey, p-whitey.
197
00:07:58,129 --> 00:07:59,669
Could you pick your
pride up off the floor
198
00:07:59,696 --> 00:08:02,476
before I trip over it? Thanks.
199
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:08,714
"Chaos cannot enter the place
200
00:08:08,792 --> 00:08:11,672
wherein the Serenity
candle burns."
201
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:16,322
I left your father.
202
00:08:16,408 --> 00:08:19,718
There's 30 bucks
down the toilet.
203
00:08:19,803 --> 00:08:21,723
Mom, what are you talking about?
204
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:23,015
He's done it again.
205
00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:24,261
Actually, he didn't even do it.
206
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:25,546
He had his secretary do it,
207
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:26,835
and I can't stand that woman.
208
00:08:26,897 --> 00:08:30,157
Like anybody believes she's 32.
209
00:08:30,248 --> 00:08:32,118
You know, Felicia's
had so many face lifts,
210
00:08:32,207 --> 00:08:35,777
one more, it'll be a cesarean.
211
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:37,653
Focus, mother.
212
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:41,224
Your father cannot make
our Valentine's dinner.
213
00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,743
He has business meetings
he just can't get out of.
214
00:08:43,827 --> 00:08:44,947
Wasn't that the same reason
215
00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:46,402
he missed your birthday dinner?
216
00:08:46,482 --> 00:08:48,792
23 years, little Dee.
217
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:51,706
I'm tired of being
an afterthought.
218
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:53,362
So I left your father
219
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,395
to see if he even
notices that i'm gone.
220
00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:57,011
And if he doesn't,
221
00:08:57,101 --> 00:08:59,631
i'm gonna shop the
platinum right off his amex.
222
00:08:59,713 --> 00:09:02,853
[Telephone rings]
223
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:04,813
Hello.
224
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:06,722
Hey, sweetie.
225
00:09:06,807 --> 00:09:08,197
Hi, Dee.
226
00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:09,436
Listen, I need to talk to you
227
00:09:09,461 --> 00:09:11,161
about tomorrow night.
228
00:09:11,246 --> 00:09:14,856
You do? Well,
this is a surprise,
229
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:17,595
and I love surprises.
230
00:09:17,687 --> 00:09:19,337
You're not going
to like this one.
231
00:09:19,428 --> 00:09:21,688
I know tomorrow
is Valentine's day,
232
00:09:21,778 --> 00:09:23,128
but can we take a rain check?
233
00:09:23,214 --> 00:09:24,224
I have business meetings
234
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:25,832
I just can't get out of.
235
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:27,393
What do you mean
business meetings
236
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:29,309
you just can't get out of?
237
00:09:29,394 --> 00:09:30,314
Sound familiar?
238
00:09:30,395 --> 00:09:34,095
Get out of here.
239
00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:37,882
Neil, sweetie,
tomorrow's very special.
240
00:09:37,968 --> 00:09:40,578
It's our first
Valentine's together.
241
00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:43,707
I know. But this
account is really huge.
242
00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,890
Why can't we
celebrate it on the 15th?
243
00:09:45,976 --> 00:09:47,936
'cause then it's
not Valentine's day.
244
00:09:48,022 --> 00:09:50,372
Then it's the day
aftervalentine's day.
245
00:09:50,459 --> 00:09:54,989
Which part of this
is unclear to you?
246
00:09:55,072 --> 00:09:56,252
The part where my girlfriend
247
00:09:56,334 --> 00:09:58,034
understands I have no choice.
248
00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:00,949
In fact, i'm already in L.A.
249
00:10:01,035 --> 00:10:02,505
What!
250
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,952
Oh, you have a choice
251
00:10:05,039 --> 00:10:06,519
and so do I.
252
00:10:06,606 --> 00:10:08,556
And I choose not to
be in a relationship
253
00:10:08,651 --> 00:10:10,651
where I wake up
23 years from now
254
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:15,010
feeling like an afterthought.
255
00:10:15,092 --> 00:10:18,972
My god, it's like
looking in a mirror.
256
00:10:19,053 --> 00:10:22,753
I know, hanging up on
him was kind of rough,
257
00:10:22,839 --> 00:10:24,509
but I had to make sure
he felt guilty enough
258
00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:26,796
to cancel that meeting
and come back here.
259
00:10:26,887 --> 00:10:28,537
I've not put all this effort
260
00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:32,718
into this relationship to
spend Valentine's day alone.
261
00:10:32,806 --> 00:10:36,066
And the children
shall lead them.
262
00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:43,030
[Knock on door]
263
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:45,210
All right! It's
been 37 minutes.
264
00:10:45,296 --> 00:10:49,126
My pizza is free, sucker.
265
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:50,693
Brian. Hey.
266
00:10:50,780 --> 00:10:51,820
You wouldn't happen to be
267
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:53,258
delivering pizzas, would you?
268
00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:56,738
No, no. I'm still killing bugs.
269
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:59,220
Well, gotta play
to your strengths.
270
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:01,360
Right. Um...
271
00:11:01,443 --> 00:11:02,623
You've been on my mind since
272
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:04,355
I saw you yesterday.
273
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:06,156
What, every time you closed
your eyes you thought psycho?
274
00:11:06,187 --> 00:11:07,877
Oh, that's sweet.
275
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,671
Um, I know
276
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:12,496
this is a long shot,
but it is sincere.
277
00:11:12,584 --> 00:11:14,854
You busy tomorrow night?
278
00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:16,275
Valentines?
279
00:11:16,371 --> 00:11:18,241
I know you've
probably been asked out
280
00:11:18,329 --> 00:11:20,029
by a lot of guys.
281
00:11:20,114 --> 00:11:22,074
Well, it is Valentine's.
282
00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:23,329
Yeah. That's why
283
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,211
I was going to
invite you to dinner.
284
00:11:25,293 --> 00:11:26,903
You were? Yeah.
285
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,510
I know this great
place in north beach.
286
00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:31,130
Very clean, no bugs.
287
00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:34,082
Well, i'm not really
sure what i'm doing,
288
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:36,781
so i'll let you
know what I decide
289
00:11:36,870 --> 00:11:38,390
and give you a call.
290
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:42,830
All right. Well, I hope
to hear from you soon.
291
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,012
Guess it's
somebody else's turn
292
00:11:47,097 --> 00:11:51,007
to wait by the phone now, huh?
293
00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:53,101
No phone call from Neil.
294
00:11:53,190 --> 00:11:54,890
No message from Charles.
295
00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,795
No flowers from Neil.
296
00:11:56,890 --> 00:11:59,630
No jewelry from Charles.
297
00:12:01,851 --> 00:12:04,251
No kisses for Neil.
298
00:12:04,332 --> 00:12:06,032
No cuddles for Charles.
299
00:12:06,116 --> 00:12:08,376
No nothing for Neil.
300
00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:11,336
No mercy for Charles.
301
00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:14,946
[Knock on door]
302
00:12:15,038 --> 00:12:15,908
Hey, Mona.
303
00:12:15,996 --> 00:12:17,426
Miles? What the hell?
304
00:12:17,519 --> 00:12:19,609
Yeah, I know.
305
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,175
I know this is kind
of unexpected.
306
00:12:21,262 --> 00:12:22,652
Sure is. Shouldn't you be
307
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:28,102
at a zulu festival or something?
308
00:12:28,182 --> 00:12:30,842
I guess I deserved that, huh?
309
00:12:30,924 --> 00:12:31,974
Look, Mona, uh...
310
00:12:32,055 --> 00:12:33,265
Ever since you told me off,
311
00:12:33,361 --> 00:12:34,971
i've thought about
what you said.
312
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:36,488
And I have been
overly-judgmental
313
00:12:36,581 --> 00:12:38,241
about how black is black.
314
00:12:38,322 --> 00:12:41,982
So you really were listening
when your eyes glazed over?
315
00:12:42,065 --> 00:12:43,935
And thanks to
you, i've realized
316
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,384
that the differences
between people
317
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:49,510
are what make
them most interesting.
318
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:50,864
So I wanted to see
319
00:12:50,944 --> 00:12:51,734
if you'd give me
another chance.
320
00:12:51,814 --> 00:12:52,994
You free tomorrow night?
321
00:12:53,076 --> 00:12:55,426
Valentine's? yeah.
322
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:56,583
I want to take you to dinner.
323
00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:57,821
You know, my cousin told me
324
00:12:57,907 --> 00:12:58,647
about this great
place in north beach.
325
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:01,434
Very clean, no bugs.
326
00:13:01,519 --> 00:13:03,869
Does, um, Brian
know you're here?
327
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:07,257
No, and, uh, I prefer
to keep it that way.
328
00:13:07,351 --> 00:13:09,441
Well, miles, I
have to be honest.
329
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:13,177
There areother
offers on the table.
330
00:13:13,270 --> 00:13:16,490
I was afraid of that.
331
00:13:16,578 --> 00:13:18,148
But you are kind of cute,
332
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:19,762
so i'll tell you what.
333
00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:21,192
Uh, when I make up my mind,
334
00:13:21,278 --> 00:13:24,108
i'll give you a call. Ok?
335
00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:30,554
Good night.
336
00:13:30,635 --> 00:13:35,025
That's twocute boys
waiting by the phone.
337
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,598
[Knock on door]
338
00:13:36,685 --> 00:13:37,985
Hey, i'm on a roll.
339
00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:42,518
Show me... The cute
black guy from c.S.I.
340
00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:45,174
Aw, pooh, it's you.
341
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:50,179
Well, that's better than,
"holy crap, hide the drugs."
342
00:13:50,264 --> 00:13:53,664
I am here for my
Valentine's Eve pizza.
343
00:13:53,745 --> 00:13:56,435
Oh, uh, you know, ma,
344
00:13:56,531 --> 00:13:59,491
staying home and eating
pizza by ourselves is just sad.
345
00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:00,927
So how about I take us
346
00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:02,384
to this great restaurant
in north beach?
347
00:14:02,406 --> 00:14:03,796
Very clean, no bugs.
348
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:05,756
Ooh!
349
00:14:09,936 --> 00:14:11,366
So, how'd you do?
350
00:14:11,459 --> 00:14:12,939
She said she'd
go out with me...
351
00:14:13,026 --> 00:14:14,506
If I was the last guy on earth.
352
00:14:14,592 --> 00:14:17,682
I'd call that a nibble.
353
00:14:17,769 --> 00:14:19,339
Could you sit in the next booth?
354
00:14:19,423 --> 00:14:20,563
I'm afraid the smell
355
00:14:20,642 --> 00:14:23,992
of desperation will draw flies.
356
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:25,280
Well, I guess it's
just you and me
357
00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:27,259
on Valentine's again.
358
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:29,834
Oh, not so fast.
359
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:32,002
There are two men
in line ahead of you.
360
00:14:32,088 --> 00:14:33,438
If this is that
361
00:14:33,524 --> 00:14:35,144
captain crunch, dr pepper thing,
362
00:14:35,222 --> 00:14:37,492
i'm on to that.
363
00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:39,272
No. These men are real.
364
00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:41,916
I got asked out by
both Brian and miles.
365
00:14:42,011 --> 00:14:43,231
And now I just have to decide
366
00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:45,057
which one I want.
367
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:46,665
I thought you scared
both of them away.
368
00:14:46,711 --> 00:14:48,071
I did. But you
can't keep the bees
369
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:52,024
away from all this honey.
370
00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:54,018
Yeah, it's hard
to find a crazy lady
371
00:14:54,110 --> 00:14:56,420
with such a great rack.
372
00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:58,034
Spence!
373
00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,144
Hey, I call 'em
like I see 'em,
374
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:01,939
and you do serve 'em up.
375
00:15:02,031 --> 00:15:04,991
So, Dee Dee. Has
Neil surprised you yet?
376
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:06,818
Oh, he surprised me all right...
377
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:09,296
By being in L.A. on business.
378
00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:11,866
I can't believe all my
manipulation failed.
379
00:15:11,954 --> 00:15:13,744
And I did everything
my mother taught me.
380
00:15:13,825 --> 00:15:14,955
And where is she?
381
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,444
Alone at my place,
382
00:15:16,524 --> 00:15:19,444
trying to guilt some
diamonds out of daddy.
383
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:21,307
Dee Dee, is that the
kind of relationship
384
00:15:21,398 --> 00:15:22,918
you want to have with Neil?
385
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:25,229
Some kind of
game-playing control-fest?
386
00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:27,005
It's not about control...
387
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:29,800
As long as he does
what I want him to do.
388
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:30,795
Yeah, but, what about honesty
389
00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:32,406
and give and take?
390
00:15:32,496 --> 00:15:33,996
I mean, you Don't have
to be sitting here alone.
391
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,020
If Neil can't be
here for Valentine's,
392
00:15:36,109 --> 00:15:38,419
then you go to him.
393
00:15:38,502 --> 00:15:40,812
You mean, pack my own
bags, spend my own money,
394
00:15:40,896 --> 00:15:42,636
and fly to L.A. last minute
395
00:15:42,724 --> 00:15:48,254
at the risk of flying c-c-coach?
396
00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:50,858
There's a shuttle every hour.
397
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:56,300
I've got just enough time
to grab a Teddy and a taxi.
398
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,440
You know, Neil would
have never left that girl
399
00:15:58,522 --> 00:16:00,612
on Valentine's day if
she knew how to cook.
400
00:16:00,698 --> 00:16:01,938
What the hell are
you talking about?
401
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,181
It's a well-known fact.
402
00:16:03,266 --> 00:16:04,956
To keep a man, you
have to feed a man.
403
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:06,271
Here, i'll prove it to you.
404
00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:09,226
Tina.
405
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,266
What's the fastest
way to a man's heart?
406
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:15,241
Through his chest
with a sharp knife.
407
00:16:15,322 --> 00:16:17,632
Give me something
hard next time.
408
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:32,733
Happy Valentine's
day, chocolate drop.
409
00:16:32,817 --> 00:16:37,737
Happy Valentine's
day to you too!
410
00:16:37,822 --> 00:16:39,262
And you said we
were having Brandy.
411
00:16:39,346 --> 00:16:45,216
I thought you meant the drink.
412
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:49,438
Everyone, this is my
girlfriend Dee Dee.
413
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,790
Hello.
414
00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:56,490
Nice to meet you.
415
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:58,840
Oh, good. I have
looked everywhere.
416
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:00,410
Have you seen my Dee Dee?
417
00:17:00,497 --> 00:17:01,737
Oh, I guess she didn't
have time to call you.
418
00:17:01,759 --> 00:17:03,849
She flew to L.A.
to be with Neil.
419
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:07,415
Last minute? She
didn't fly coach, did she?
420
00:17:07,504 --> 00:17:08,854
[Big Dee Dee sighs]
421
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:10,050
Personally, I think
she gave in too soon.
422
00:17:10,072 --> 00:17:11,682
But she will learn. Hmm.
423
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:14,209
Now I, on the other
hand, held my ground
424
00:17:14,294 --> 00:17:16,914
and got this from my
well-trained husband.
425
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:19,732
A titanium mastercard.
426
00:17:19,821 --> 00:17:22,171
That man really loves me.
427
00:17:22,258 --> 00:17:23,498
We'll have many
happy years together.
428
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,960
Yeah, you and
daddy are quite a pair.
429
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,995
Talking about the credit card.
430
00:17:29,091 --> 00:17:31,051
Oh, what a day.
431
00:17:31,137 --> 00:17:32,327
I can't remember the last time
432
00:17:32,355 --> 00:17:33,565
I had to dry so many tears.
433
00:17:33,661 --> 00:17:34,921
You poor dear.
434
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:39,800
Were you trying on
bathing suits again?
435
00:17:39,884 --> 00:17:41,994
I'm so tired, I Don't even
have the energy to insult you,
436
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:43,977
you wig-wearing jackal.
437
00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:47,023
Hey, I just got my second wind.
438
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:49,159
You were seeing
patients this late?
439
00:17:49,242 --> 00:17:51,462
We were starting to
wonder if you'd got lucky.
440
00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:52,848
Big Dee Dee: How kind.
441
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,331
At Phyllis' age, getting lucky
442
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,771
is finding her car
in the parking lot.
443
00:17:56,858 --> 00:17:59,558
People, please. I'm
trying to celebrate here.
444
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,953
Celebrate? What
happened to Brian and miles?
445
00:18:02,037 --> 00:18:04,037
I decided not to go
out with either of them.
446
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:06,086
See, if I choose
one, I lose one,
447
00:18:06,172 --> 00:18:07,352
and with my track record,
448
00:18:07,434 --> 00:18:09,094
the date would
probably go badly,
449
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:10,535
so i'd end up
losing both of them.
450
00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:11,657
You following me?
451
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:13,182
Barely.
452
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,786
This way, both offers
are still on the table.
453
00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:17,487
I'm still desired.
454
00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,344
I didn't let Valentine's
beat me. I beat it.
455
00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:22,359
Ha, ha, ha-ha, ha, ha, ha.
456
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:26,109
I begged her to come
for a session this morning.
457
00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,412
At least we're
all here together.
458
00:18:28,498 --> 00:18:30,418
Well, since no one has
offered to buy me a drink,
459
00:18:30,500 --> 00:18:31,980
I guess i'll buy my own.
460
00:18:32,067 --> 00:18:34,497
Now I know how Phyllis feels.
461
00:18:34,591 --> 00:18:36,071
For 20 bucks, I can accidentally
462
00:18:36,158 --> 00:18:38,898
spill some decaf on her.
463
00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,817
Ma!
464
00:18:40,902 --> 00:18:46,342
Mrs. Thorn!
465
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:48,209
Neil, i'm sorry.
466
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,171
I ruined our first
Valentine's day
467
00:18:50,259 --> 00:18:52,999
by trying to make you prove
how much I meant to you.
468
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:55,088
Well, I should have
been more clear
469
00:18:55,177 --> 00:18:57,177
about how much
you do mean to me.
470
00:18:57,266 --> 00:18:59,086
True.
471
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:02,621
But my work means
a lot to me, too.
472
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:04,186
And it should.
473
00:19:04,273 --> 00:19:05,673
Your drive is one of the things
474
00:19:05,753 --> 00:19:08,323
I find really
attractive about you.
475
00:19:08,408 --> 00:19:11,058
You have to do whatever
it takes to get noticed.
476
00:19:11,150 --> 00:19:15,200
Well, my boss certainly
took notice tonight.
477
00:19:15,284 --> 00:19:20,334
He was your boss? The
guy who hyperventilated?
478
00:19:20,420 --> 00:19:21,420
Yeah.
479
00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:22,808
Lucky you had that paper bag
480
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:25,120
from the pharmacy
for him to breathe into.
481
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,727
I just wish i'd taken
the condoms out
482
00:19:26,817 --> 00:19:30,727
before I handed it to him.
483
00:19:30,821 --> 00:19:34,611
Dee Dee, I really appreciate
all you went through
484
00:19:34,695 --> 00:19:38,605
to sneak into my room so
we could be together tonight.
485
00:19:38,699 --> 00:19:43,699
Well, if we Don't get busy,
486
00:19:43,791 --> 00:19:45,161
it'll be the day
after Valentine's
487
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,104
when we actually celebrate it.
488
00:19:47,186 --> 00:19:50,146
And you know how
I feel about that.
489
00:19:59,807 --> 00:20:00,907
Look, man, you
said you didn't want
490
00:20:00,938 --> 00:20:01,938
to date her again.
491
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:02,903
You said the same thing.
492
00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:04,034
Yeah, well, I like her.
493
00:20:04,115 --> 00:20:05,025
Well, I like her more.
494
00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:06,116
Well, I dated her first.
495
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,895
Well, I dated her last.
496
00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,710
[Whispering] Do you
want me to break this up?
497
00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:12,121
Do it and die.
498
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:12,991
This is the best
Valentine's day
499
00:20:13,081 --> 00:20:14,431
of my life.
500
00:20:14,517 --> 00:20:15,687
Brian: I'm older, miles.
501
00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:17,649
I got more hair.
502
00:20:17,738 --> 00:20:19,278
Oh, ok. That's 'cause you
got your daddy's hook head.
503
00:20:19,305 --> 00:20:22,395
Am I on the love
boat around here?
504
00:20:22,482 --> 00:20:24,402
His dad before him...
505
00:20:46,288 --> 00:20:48,638
Whoo-hoo! Ha ha ha!
506
00:20:48,688 --> 00:20:53,238
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