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1
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,696
[ Bzzzzz ]
2
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:39,200
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
3
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:55,816
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
4
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,480
* On the edge
of outer space *
5
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:27,948
* Space, space, space
6
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,518
* She's the one
with a serious face *
7
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:34,188
* Face, face, face
face, face *
8
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,589
* When I dropped in,
checked it out *
9
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,791
* Alien girls
were all about *
10
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,494
* Eons since
I had a date *
11
00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:43,664
* Another light-year's
too long to wait *
12
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,333
* Earth girls are easy
13
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,368
* Earth girls, so easy
14
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:50,238
* Earth girls
15
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,410
* Hey, those girls
are loads of fun *
16
00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:58,479
* Fun, fun, fun, fun
17
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,548
* Even hotter
than the sun *
18
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:03,384
* Sun, sun, sun
19
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,886
* You know that I've had
lots of girls *
20
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,222
* Most of them
from other worlds *
21
00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:10,324
* While trippin' through
the galaxy *
22
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:13,327
* The valley girls
are the ones for me *
23
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,529
* Earth girls are easy
24
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,631
* Earth girls, so easy
25
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:20,301
* Earth girls
26
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,797
* Earth girls
27
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,401
* Girls
28
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,837
* You know that I've had
lots of girls *
29
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,906
* Most of them
from other worlds *
30
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,008
* Eons since
I had a date *
31
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:04,545
* Another light-year's
too long to wait *
32
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,347
* Earth girls are easy
33
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,349
* Earth girls, so easy
34
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:11,251
* Earth girls
35
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,055
* Earth girls are easy
36
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,291
* Earth girls, so easy
37
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:19,360
* Earth girls
38
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:20,394
* Earth girls
39
00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:21,829
* So easy
40
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,397
* So easy, so easy
41
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,833
* Earth girls
42
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,267
* Earth girls *
43
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,499
[ Door Opens ]
44
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,401
Valerie.
45
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,102
[ Hiss ]
46
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,937
I'm home.
47
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:08,108
You're not supposed to
see me in this
before the wedding.
48
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,710
It's bad luck.
49
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,712
Don't worry about it.
50
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,447
I mean, sweetheart,
51
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:17,751
it's just some stupid
superstition anyway.
52
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:18,986
Yeah, you're right.
53
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,589
We met
on Friday the 13th
54
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,425
and look
how happy we are.
55
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,694
Ted, what happened?
You said 11:00.
56
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,697
Sorry, Val. It was
blood and guts night
57
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,700
at the old
emergency room.
58
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:33,934
Again?
59
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,705
I wish
you'd called me.
60
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,840
I would have but,
you know,
61
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:43,110
five minutes
on the phone could, uh,
62
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,445
cost a life.
63
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,079
Oh.
64
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,082
I'm ready, Teddy.
65
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,555
Oh, what a day.
66
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,426
Oh, boy.
67
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,898
I was fluffing it
for you.
68
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,479
Could you get
the light, please?
69
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:29,423
Teddy...
70
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,792
look what I found.
71
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,427
Sweetheart,
I'm sorry.
72
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:36,196
I have to take out
a gall bladder
73
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,432
first thing
in the morning.
74
00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:40,200
Tomorrow night.
I promise.
75
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:44,204
I won't be here.
I'll be at the nail expo.
76
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,440
The cuticle convention,
remember?
77
00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:48,208
I'll be gone
till Monday.
78
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,478
Well, Monday, then.
I promise.
79
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,784
I was reading an ad
for these pyramids
80
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,786
you put over the bed.
81
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,221
They're supposed to
increase sexual energy.
82
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,190
Valerie, please.
83
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:06,159
Good night,
sweetheart.
84
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:07,861
'Night.
85
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,770
K-Earth 101
southland weather--
86
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,772
Another gorgeous day
in L.A.
87
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,642
Sunny and warm.
86 degrees in Malibu.
88
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,645
94 in the valley.
88 in Hollywood.
89
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,980
That's K-Earth 101 news.
I'm Claudia Marshall.
90
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:31,985
* It's the summer of love,
love, love *
91
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:35,055
* I'm in love
with love, love, love *
92
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:39,593
* For everyone
transcends who *
93
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:42,262
* I'm thinking of you
94
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,131
* Boy
95
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:45,999
* Love energy
96
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,736
* Is giving us a shove
97
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:54,074
* Making this
the summer of love **
98
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,643
Hi, Miss Lana.
99
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,077
I'm so sorry.
100
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:59,079
I missed
our appointment.
101
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,048
You look so great.
102
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,050
That's
a great outfit.
103
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:06,153
Thanks, dear.
That door is a real bitch.
104
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,621
Hi, Val.
105
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,022
Good morning.
106
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:11,992
It's a really
good color for me.
107
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,594
Wow.
108
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,597
You need a fill.
109
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:17,998
Uh, morning, all.
110
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,600
Good morning.
111
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:23,637
You better have a note
from your mother, young lady.
112
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,006
* He's showing off
his body... **
113
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,608
I don't know.
114
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,611
I'm just not that
turned on by her lately.
115
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:33,614
I hear
oysters are good
for potency.
116
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,616
I tried that,
117
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,117
but they
kept slipping off.
118
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:40,654
If I was any more potent,
I'd kill somebody.
119
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,022
Whoa!
Oh, right!
120
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,625
I gave this cute
little nurse
121
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:47,060
a ride home
the other night.
122
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,896
And?
And?
123
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,765
And nothing.
I'm getting married
next month.
124
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:54,001
And why are you
so tardy?
125
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,605
I was up real late
last night with Ted.
126
00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:00,007
Dr. Dolittle
finally came through, huh?
127
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,610
No. He was
dead on arrival.
128
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:05,345
Again? Sanka?
Sure.
129
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,348
At the rate we've
been having sex,
130
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,351
we might as well
be married already.
131
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,587
It's been,
like, a week?
132
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,789
Two weeks.
133
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:19,927
Valerie, Ted's obviously
a victim of PMS.
134
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,930
What?
Premarital stress.
135
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,599
Oh. What'll
snap him out of it?
136
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,967
A new woman.
137
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,602
Thanks.
138
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:30,003
Wait. That's it!
139
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:33,106
We'll make you
a new woman.
140
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,275
This is great.
Watch this.
141
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,111
Let's see how you look
on the makeover machine.
142
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,346
Oh, housewife from hell.
143
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,250
Matron on drugs.
144
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,018
Look at that.
145
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,888
That's it.
We'll make you blonde
146
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,022
with blue eyes.
147
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:52,125
Maybe
when I get back
from the expo--
148
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:55,362
Skip the expo.
Stay home
and ambush Ted.
149
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,998
What if
he doesn't like it?
150
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:02,302
At this point,
what have you got to lose?
151
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,672
Come on. We're
doing a makeover.
152
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,808
Ooh! Ooh!
153
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,177
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Come on!
154
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,645
A perm.
155
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,746
A perm.
156
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,915
A butch.
157
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,750
A facial.
158
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,852
A body wrap.
159
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:19,887
Gravel scrub.
160
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,889
A gravel scrub.
161
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,791
Bikini wax.
162
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,392
We'll do it all.
163
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:26,960
All right!
164
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:40,674
* It's time to face the music,
it's time to make you see *
165
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:44,912
* The root of all your problems
is that you don't look like me *
166
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:49,182
* Now this is gonna hurt you,
but I just got to say *
167
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:53,921
* Your love life's going nowhere
'cause you look like Doris Day *
168
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,188
* Who's the one
they can't resist? *
169
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,825
* The brand new girl
170
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,760
* Who's on
the most wanted list? *
171
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,161
* The brand new girl
172
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:04,031
* Honey,
if you vixenize *
173
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,033
* Guaranteed
he'll get a rise *
174
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,168
* Believe me, you can be
a brand new *
175
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,402
* Brand new
176
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,071
* Brand new
177
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,439
* Brand new
178
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,907
* Brand new
179
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:14,775
* Brand new girl
180
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:16,744
Ow!
181
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,712
Rrrroww!
182
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:25,452
Aah!
183
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,187
* You're cute
and fresh and wholesome *
184
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,222
* But science has a cure
185
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,792
* The natural look
is nowhere *
186
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,460
* Your hairdresser
knows for sure *
187
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,362
* You got to learn
the art of teasing *
188
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,831
* Change your repertoire
189
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,033
* All you need's
a little faith *
190
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,102
* And a see-through
pushup bra *
191
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,141
* If you want to be
a femme fatale *
192
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,343
* You can't rest
on your L'oreals *
193
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,045
* You know, I think
she might be right *
194
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,414
* Grab the bleach,
she's seen the light *
195
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,183
Ow!
Ow!
196
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,785
* Maybelline
197
00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:58,752
Ooh.
198
00:11:58,786 --> 00:11:59,820
* Revlon
199
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:00,788
Aah.
200
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,455
* Rubbermaid
201
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,758
* Talk to me,
Max Factor *
202
00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,393
* Who's the one
they can't resist? *
203
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,361
* The brand new girl
204
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,297
* Who's on
the most wanted list? *
205
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,432
* The brand new girl
206
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,768
* Honey,
if you vixenize *
207
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,303
* Guaranteed
he'll get a rise *
208
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:19,306
* Believe me, you can be
a brand new *
209
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,308
* Brand new
210
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,109
* Brand new
211
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,177
* Brand new
212
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,179
* Brand
213
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,248
* New
214
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:32,953
* Girl
215
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,154
* Girl *
216
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:39,893
[ Stereo Playing
Theme From Love Story ]
217
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,930
Hello, Dr. Gallagher.
218
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,898
Surprised?
219
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:49,302
Yes, it's me.
220
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:52,305
Oh! Tsk. Tsk.
Dr. Gallagher.
221
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:55,408
Why are you
looking at me like that?
222
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,312
You want to do what?
223
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:02,883
Oh, no, no.
I couldn't.
224
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,284
No.
225
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,219
No, please. Stop.
226
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:07,821
No, no.
227
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,857
Well...
228
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,491
all right.
229
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,262
OK.
230
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,831
Let's see.
231
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:22,102
Now, champagne,
flowers,
232
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,104
sushi, feathers,
233
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,874
um, sensual oil,
234
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,241
right,
235
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:31,879
and incense or...
let's see.
236
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:34,848
"Sprinkle a light bulb
with your favorite perfume
237
00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:38,385
to sensualize the atmosphere
of your love trap."
238
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,991
[ Record Skips ]
239
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,229
[ Ssss! ]
240
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,165
[ Pop! ]
241
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,501
Oh, no!
242
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,370
[ Car Door Closes ]
243
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,572
Oh, God. He's here.
244
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:18,225
Well, this is
where we live.
245
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,626
We?
246
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,628
Yeah. Uh, you know,
247
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:26,066
me and, uh,
the cat-- Bambi.
248
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:31,471
Just make yourself
at home,
249
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,173
all right?
250
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,051
[ Rrrr ]
251
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,318
[ Hiss ]
252
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:57,264
"How to Drive a Man Crazy."
253
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,137
[ Toilet Flushes ]
254
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,574
Aah!
255
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:10,410
Eat me,
I'm a cookie!
256
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,480
I'm sorry.
I'm so embarrassed.
257
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:16,116
I didn't know
Ted had company.
258
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,517
I'm Valerie.
259
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:20,120
I don't usually
dress like this.
260
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,389
Here comes Dr. Love.
261
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:27,527
All right, Robin,
a pileup.
262
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,696
Who's your friend?
263
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:32,099
Shit! Val.
264
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,101
Ted, what
are you doing?
265
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,069
Uh, gee, nothing.
266
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:38,438
Wh-What is
going on here?
267
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,373
You brought her home
to have sex?
268
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,442
You weren't
supposed to be here.
269
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:45,412
You were going to
have sex without me?
270
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,980
Of course not.
271
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:50,350
I don't know
what you two had in mind,
272
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,986
but I'm not
into kinky scenes.
273
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,387
Bye.
274
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:55,755
You look incredible.
275
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,092
Honey, she doesn't
mean a thing to me.
276
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,661
If meaningless sex
is what you want,
277
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,496
why can't you
have it with me!
278
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:05,999
I made
a stupid mistake.
279
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:09,136
I wanted a last fling,
that's all.
280
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,771
You can't expect me
to be more evolved.
281
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,574
Evolved? I'll show
you evolved.
282
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:18,011
Wait a minute.
No. Now, don't do that.
283
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,446
That's very dangerous.
284
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,414
Cut it--Val, stop it!
285
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,749
Cut it out!
286
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:26,553
Val, come on!
287
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,555
The neighbors
are watching!
288
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,491
Val, open up.
289
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:34,161
Sweetheart,
open the door!
290
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:36,429
You're wanted
in emergency,
Dr. Love.
291
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:40,033
You can't do this to me!
I'm a doctor!
292
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:45,705
Here! Take these
with you, Dr. Love.
293
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,309
And don't come back!
294
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,114
[ Muttering ]
295
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,284
[ Car Starts ]
296
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,418
Ted!
297
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,521
[ Tires Squeal ]
298
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,523
Ted!
299
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:06,259
Ted,
where are you going?
300
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,402
Go to bed, Mrs. Merkin!
301
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,270
[ Reverberating ]
Mrs. Merkin!
Mrs. Merkin!
302
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,474
[ Meow ]
303
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:25,378
* You're a liar,
and it took me forever *
304
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,148
* To figure that out
305
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:33,086
* You could
switch on a smile *
306
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,189
* Pretend to be tender
307
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:39,859
* But I know now
what you're all about *
308
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,129
* What a nightmare
309
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:46,766
* My friends thought
you were a dream *
310
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:52,605
* You could
switch on a smile *
311
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:55,208
* And seem so sincere
312
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:58,711
* But you don't even know
what that means *
313
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:03,116
* I don't think
you'll ever understand *
314
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:08,221
* Ooh, did cheating on me
make you feel like a man? *
315
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:12,859
* I used to worship
the ground you walk on *
316
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:16,663
* I did anything
you wanted me to *
317
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:21,768
* I used to worship
the ground you walk on *
318
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:27,407
* Now I've lost my faith
in you *
319
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,108
[ Glass Shatters ]
320
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,713
* Aah
321
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,151
* Sunday mornings
I'd wake up *
322
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:42,689
* Lie in bed
watching you sleep *
323
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:47,394
* It was almost religious
324
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,929
* How I believed in you
325
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:54,301
* It hurt when you
destroyed my belief *
326
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:58,505
* I don't think
you'll ever understand *
327
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:03,476
* Ooh, did cheatin' on me
make you feel like a man? *
328
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:07,347
* I used to worship
the ground you walk on *
329
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:11,618
* I did anything
you wanted me to *
330
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:17,424
* I used to worship
the ground you walk on *
331
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:21,628
* Now I've lost my faith
in you *
332
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:25,632
* Oh, I've lost
my faith in you *
333
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:41,548
* I used to worship
the ground you walk on *
334
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:45,885
* Didn't think
I'd get by without you *
335
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:50,890
* Now I don't worship
the ground you walk on *
336
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:55,695
* And I'm stronger
than I knew *
337
00:19:55,728 --> 00:20:00,500
* I'm stronger
than you knew **
338
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,509
Come here, you.
339
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,744
No, Doctor.
What about your wife?
340
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,681
She's in a coma.
You're not.
341
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,617
No. Oh.
342
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,787
Mmm. Oh.
343
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,955
John?
John?
344
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:26,426
Uh! Oh.
345
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,361
You weasel dick!
346
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:31,498
[ Telephone Rings ]
347
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:34,367
Hello.
Oh, Candy,
348
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:37,370
the worst thing
in the world happened.
349
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,772
No, Bambi's fine.
350
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,374
It's Ted.
351
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:44,377
Yeah. The blonde thing
did not work.
352
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:47,914
It's the show that shows
the ins and outs
353
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,883
of the southern California
fitness craze.
354
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,986
Let's face it.
Inner beauty is for losers.
355
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:58,591
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
356
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:34,894
Ooh.
357
00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:23,976
Ha ha ha ha ha!
358
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,012
[ Bonk ]
359
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:28,080
Uh!
360
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:46,032
Whoa!
361
00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:51,604
Mac!
362
00:22:57,444 --> 00:23:00,480
Whoa!
Whoa!
363
00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:46,092
Aah!
364
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,702
Oh, great.
365
00:23:58,037 --> 00:24:00,006
Oh, this is too good.
366
00:24:00,039 --> 00:24:03,876
There's a giant blow dryer
in my pool.
367
00:24:12,519 --> 00:24:14,954
Oh, shit!
368
00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:18,625
Ted, you're not going to
control my mind
369
00:24:18,658 --> 00:24:20,627
when you're not here.
370
00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:23,663
OK, just release
all of this negative energy
371
00:24:23,696 --> 00:24:25,665
out into the universe.
372
00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:28,768
You're just going to
swim right through it.
373
00:24:39,011 --> 00:24:41,648
[ Thud ]
374
00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:44,751
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
375
00:25:26,058 --> 00:25:27,827
[ Pop ]
376
00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:34,601
Oh, Teddy bear,
377
00:25:34,634 --> 00:25:36,268
you're back.
378
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:42,241
Aah!
379
00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:44,611
Aah!
Aah!
380
00:25:44,644 --> 00:25:46,178
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
381
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,014
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
382
00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:52,619
What is this?
What's going on?
383
00:25:52,652 --> 00:25:54,854
This isn't
what it looks like, is it?
384
00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,989
Is it?
Zis zit?
385
00:25:57,023 --> 00:25:59,626
Oh, my God, it is.
386
00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:01,027
It's a spaceship.
387
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,630
Oh, like things
weren't bad enough,
388
00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:06,365
now I've been abducted
by a UFO.
389
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:10,002
You're just going to
do some experiments on me
390
00:26:10,036 --> 00:26:13,773
and let me go like in
the National Enquire Right?
391
00:26:13,806 --> 00:26:16,676
Right?
Right?
Right?
392
00:26:19,211 --> 00:26:20,947
OK. OK.
393
00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:24,717
Just don't take out
anything I'll need later.
394
00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:31,924
Get it over with
and let me go.
395
00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:38,164
I don't why
you abducted me anyway.
396
00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:40,700
I'm sure you're looking for
somebody more important
397
00:26:40,733 --> 00:26:43,235
like Nancy Reagan.
398
00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:46,005
I'll tell you
where to find her
399
00:26:46,038 --> 00:26:48,374
because
I'm just a manicurist.
400
00:26:48,407 --> 00:26:51,744
I don't know about anything
except nails.
401
00:26:51,778 --> 00:26:52,912
You know, nails.
402
00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:54,947
Nails.
Nails.
Nails.
403
00:26:59,218 --> 00:27:01,220
Really. I could
keep my mouth shut.
404
00:27:01,253 --> 00:27:04,423
You could tell me anything.
I'd never tell.
405
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,425
Ask my cousin.
406
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,661
She got her boobs done,
and I never told anyone.
407
00:27:10,329 --> 00:27:12,031
Except I just told you.
408
00:27:16,102 --> 00:27:19,205
Oh, my God.
You're aliens.
409
00:27:19,238 --> 00:27:22,842
Ooh!
Ooh!
410
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:24,944
Ooh!
411
00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,312
Zeebo.
412
00:27:26,345 --> 00:27:30,649
Is that your name--
Zeebo?
413
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:34,320
Wiploc.
414
00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:36,956
Wiploc. Hi.
415
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:38,891
Makelsolakveder.
416
00:27:38,925 --> 00:27:42,194
Maybe I'll just
call you Mac.
How's that?
417
00:27:42,228 --> 00:27:44,196
Oh, and I'm Valerie.
418
00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:46,899
Valerie.
Walerie.Volare.
419
00:27:46,933 --> 00:27:50,336
You guys aren't
going to hurt me, are you?
420
00:27:53,139 --> 00:27:55,407
Your planet is weird.
421
00:27:55,441 --> 00:27:57,376
We're still
in my pool.
422
00:27:57,409 --> 00:28:00,379
Oh.
Oh!
Oh!
423
00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:03,249
Listen, it was really nice
meeting you, fellas,
424
00:28:03,282 --> 00:28:05,384
but I have to go.
425
00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:07,820
Feel free
to use the pool,
426
00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:10,790
but you've caught me
at a bad time.
427
00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:11,958
[ Shouting ]
428
00:28:11,991 --> 00:28:13,492
Aah!
429
00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:15,928
Aah! Aah!
430
00:28:15,962 --> 00:28:18,330
[ Alarm Sounds ]
431
00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:26,906
[ Alarm Stops ]
432
00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:29,909
Did I do that?
I flooded the ship.
433
00:28:29,942 --> 00:28:32,178
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so embarrassed.
434
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:33,813
I'm really sorry,
435
00:28:33,846 --> 00:28:36,949
but I'm sure you can
fix it, right?
436
00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:40,920
Don't freak out.
437
00:28:40,953 --> 00:28:43,355
This is
just like the time
438
00:28:43,389 --> 00:28:46,325
I dropped my lady schick
in the toilet.
439
00:28:46,358 --> 00:28:49,461
After it dried out,
it worked fine.
440
00:28:55,467 --> 00:28:58,938
Let's go in my house.
I'll make some lunch,
441
00:28:58,971 --> 00:29:01,373
and I'll get
the pool drained.
442
00:29:01,407 --> 00:29:05,277
Then you guys can take off
back to your planet.
443
00:29:05,311 --> 00:29:06,879
Blast off. Pow.
444
00:29:06,913 --> 00:29:10,817
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
¿Comprende?
445
00:29:10,850 --> 00:29:12,118
¿Comprende?
446
00:29:12,151 --> 00:29:14,320
¿Comprende?
447
00:29:14,353 --> 00:29:16,488
Comprende.
448
00:29:28,434 --> 00:29:31,938
Be careful. This ladder's
a little loose.
449
00:29:31,971 --> 00:29:34,573
Oh, I'm glad
you can breathe OK.
450
00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:37,476
The air quality
is actually
very good today.
451
00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:39,946
[ Coughing ]
452
00:29:39,979 --> 00:29:41,848
Careful.
453
00:29:41,881 --> 00:29:43,549
It's kind of wet.
454
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:49,922
OK?
455
00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:53,292
Well, uh, come on.
Let's go in the house.
456
00:29:53,325 --> 00:29:55,094
This way.
457
00:29:58,931 --> 00:30:00,299
Those are lemons.
458
00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:03,002
You know,
lemonade, lemon Pledge.
459
00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:06,372
Oh. It's OK.
It's a sprinkler.
460
00:30:06,405 --> 00:30:10,442
Earth people are going to
freak out if they see you.
461
00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:12,078
No offense,
462
00:30:12,111 --> 00:30:14,914
but you do look like
wookies or werewolves.
463
00:30:14,947 --> 00:30:17,349
People will want to
shoot you,
464
00:30:17,383 --> 00:30:19,418
so just be cool, OK?
465
00:30:21,087 --> 00:30:24,857
Let's go inside.
Come on. Come on.
466
00:30:25,925 --> 00:30:29,896
What's going on
in my horoscope today?
467
00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:35,567
Well, this is
my house.
468
00:30:35,601 --> 00:30:38,170
Um...sorry about
the mess.
469
00:30:38,204 --> 00:30:40,139
Make yourselves at home.
470
00:30:46,412 --> 00:30:47,880
[ Cuckoo ]
471
00:30:47,914 --> 00:30:48,948
[ Cuckoo ]
472
00:30:48,981 --> 00:30:50,349
[ Cuckoo ]
473
00:30:50,382 --> 00:30:52,184
Hi. This is
Valerie Gale.
474
00:30:52,218 --> 00:30:55,187
Could you send Woody
to drain my pool?
475
00:30:55,221 --> 00:30:58,190
Yeah. Right away.
It's an emergency. I--
476
00:30:58,224 --> 00:31:00,159
[ Meow ]
477
00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:03,395
[ Rrreow ]
478
00:31:08,034 --> 00:31:09,368
[ Purr Purr ]
479
00:31:11,537 --> 00:31:15,441
Wow! I've never see her
do tha before!
480
00:31:15,474 --> 00:31:18,911
What is that,
some kind of
love touch?
481
00:31:18,945 --> 00:31:22,614
[ Speaking
Alien Language ]
482
00:31:22,648 --> 00:31:24,283
Oh! Hi. Yeah.
483
00:31:24,316 --> 00:31:27,586
Listen. This is a matter
of life and death.
484
00:31:27,619 --> 00:31:30,522
I lost my contact lens
in the pool--
485
00:31:30,556 --> 00:31:33,425
No. Send Woody.
He found it last time.
486
00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:34,493
Hey!
487
00:31:34,526 --> 00:31:36,395
Those are Ted's fish!
488
00:31:36,428 --> 00:31:37,529
Thanks.
489
00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:39,531
No. No. No. No.
490
00:31:39,565 --> 00:31:41,133
Not food!
491
00:31:41,167 --> 00:31:43,335
Not food!
492
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:47,706
Let's see.
Oh, not much here,
493
00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:50,977
but I didn't expect
I'd have aliens for lunch.
494
00:31:51,010 --> 00:31:52,411
Oh, look.
495
00:31:52,444 --> 00:31:54,413
Low-cal Pop Tarts.
496
00:31:54,446 --> 00:31:56,148
These are natural.
497
00:31:56,182 --> 00:31:57,984
Great.
498
00:31:59,751 --> 00:32:02,454
[ Speaking
Alien Language ]
499
00:32:02,488 --> 00:32:03,555
OK.
500
00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:06,425
We have an entree.
What else?
501
00:32:09,561 --> 00:32:11,630
Uh...instant pudding!
502
00:32:11,663 --> 00:32:14,500
Add water, hmm...
too much work.
503
00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:16,502
Oh, spray-on cheese!
504
00:32:16,535 --> 00:32:18,104
This is great.
505
00:32:18,137 --> 00:32:20,606
You have eggs
on your planet?
506
00:32:22,141 --> 00:32:24,610
I could cook those
for you.
507
00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:27,513
Uh...
508
00:32:27,546 --> 00:32:29,115
[ Pop ]
509
00:32:29,148 --> 00:32:31,483
[ Thud ]
510
00:32:31,517 --> 00:32:32,518
[ Plop ]
511
00:32:35,187 --> 00:32:37,189
This is wonderful.
512
00:32:46,632 --> 00:32:49,335
[ Crunch Crunch
Crunch ]
513
00:32:51,270 --> 00:32:52,704
[ Crunch Crunch
Crunch ]
514
00:32:52,738 --> 00:32:54,106
[ Meow Meow ]
515
00:32:54,140 --> 00:32:55,741
[ Meow ]
516
00:33:00,546 --> 00:33:03,249
Oh, Wiploc!
No! No! Not there!
517
00:33:03,282 --> 00:33:05,551
No. Come with me.
518
00:33:15,194 --> 00:33:18,097
OK. So you go
in there...
519
00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:22,301
No! No!
Come here. No.
520
00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:25,037
You... go in there...
521
00:33:25,071 --> 00:33:27,306
Go in there...
522
00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:30,042
Yeah...
and then you flush.
523
00:33:30,076 --> 00:33:32,678
[ Whoosh ]
524
00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:38,016
[ Whoosh ]
525
00:33:58,237 --> 00:33:59,438
[ Scratch ]
526
00:34:01,207 --> 00:34:03,175
Oh, my God!
Woody's here!
527
00:34:03,209 --> 00:34:05,644
Whatever you do,
just stay inside.
528
00:34:48,587 --> 00:34:50,556
[ Horse Neighs ]
529
00:34:53,459 --> 00:34:55,194
Aah!
530
00:34:55,227 --> 00:34:57,163
[ Neigh ]
531
00:34:57,196 --> 00:34:59,865
[ Singing In Spanish ]
532
00:35:04,303 --> 00:35:05,304
[ Click Click ]
533
00:35:05,337 --> 00:35:07,406
You are Americans.
534
00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:09,508
You're the product
of the freest--
535
00:35:09,541 --> 00:35:11,377
[ Eee! Eee! ]
536
00:35:11,410 --> 00:35:12,544
[ Click Click ]
537
00:35:12,578 --> 00:35:15,514
You're tearing me apart!
538
00:35:15,547 --> 00:35:18,784
You say one thing,
he says another--
539
00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:20,719
A new car!
540
00:35:20,752 --> 00:35:22,721
A new car!
Aah!
541
00:35:22,754 --> 00:35:24,790
* Take
a mind excursion *
542
00:35:24,823 --> 00:35:26,792
* It's just... *
543
00:35:26,825 --> 00:35:29,495
Hey! How's it going?
544
00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:31,497
Hey, Woody.
545
00:35:31,530 --> 00:35:32,864
What's that?
546
00:35:32,898 --> 00:35:34,833
Some kind of giant
boogie board?
547
00:35:34,866 --> 00:35:37,769
No. It's my new
pool patio.
Bitchin', huh?
548
00:35:37,803 --> 00:35:39,338
Pretty rad.
549
00:35:39,371 --> 00:35:40,272
[ Meow ]
550
00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:41,273
Whoa!
551
00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:43,742
Shoot the curl, kitty!
552
00:35:43,775 --> 00:35:45,844
Those little guys
love the water.
553
00:35:47,779 --> 00:35:51,650
Listen, Valerie,
how come you want
your pool drained?
554
00:35:51,683 --> 00:35:52,784
How come?
555
00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:54,386
I don't know.
556
00:35:54,420 --> 00:35:57,789
You know, the water
just seems really stale.
557
00:35:57,823 --> 00:35:59,958
We've seen
a lot of that.
558
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,793
How long
will this take?
559
00:36:01,827 --> 00:36:04,463
Uh...about...a day.
560
00:36:06,332 --> 00:36:08,300
Whoa! Check out
the sets.
561
00:36:08,334 --> 00:36:12,704
If I was six inches tall,
I'd be out there now.
562
00:36:12,738 --> 00:36:15,707
They were pumping
like that this morning--
563
00:36:15,741 --> 00:36:17,709
I don't believe this.
564
00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:19,345
No, for real.
565
00:36:19,378 --> 00:36:22,581
I was getting barreled
in this totally cool tube.
566
00:36:22,614 --> 00:36:25,451
I had just Sex Waxed
my board.
567
00:36:25,484 --> 00:36:28,620
Someone shoots his board,
hits me in the head.
568
00:36:28,654 --> 00:36:30,589
This is the worst.
569
00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:33,725
Would have been
the ride of the decade.
570
00:36:33,759 --> 00:36:36,762
What am I supposed to
do until tomorrow?
571
00:36:36,795 --> 00:36:39,631
Waste your brain.
Wax your board.
572
00:36:39,665 --> 00:36:42,234
Pray for waves.
573
00:36:42,268 --> 00:36:47,273
[ Whistling
Andy Griffith Theme ]
574
00:36:47,306 --> 00:36:49,541
[ Speaking Japanese ]
575
00:36:49,575 --> 00:36:51,810
[ Speaking Japanese ]
576
00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:53,512
Try this.
577
00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,481
* What'll it be? Hmm *
578
00:36:55,514 --> 00:36:57,015
* What'll it be?
579
00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,484
* Hmm *
580
00:36:58,517 --> 00:37:01,387
Make me an Alaskan
polar bear heater
581
00:37:01,420 --> 00:37:02,754
on the double.
582
00:37:02,788 --> 00:37:04,756
We'll make
our own music, gorgeous.
583
00:37:04,790 --> 00:37:06,525
You and you stay.
584
00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:09,428
Tubby, rest your thumbs.
I'll drive.
585
00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:11,997
Now watch, baby.
Every move a picture.
586
00:37:13,599 --> 00:37:16,402
[ Telephone Rings ]
587
00:37:18,704 --> 00:37:20,038
[ Click ]
588
00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:23,275
[ Ted's Voice ]
Is there a doctor
in the house? Not now.
589
00:37:23,309 --> 00:37:25,977
Leave a message
when you hear the beep.
590
00:37:26,011 --> 00:37:27,446
[ Beep ]
591
00:37:27,479 --> 00:37:29,281
Valerie?
Are you there?
592
00:37:29,315 --> 00:37:30,649
Please pick up.
593
00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:32,818
I need to talk to you.
594
00:37:32,851 --> 00:37:35,387
Sorry I was
such an asshole.
595
00:37:35,421 --> 00:37:37,756
Val, you've got to
believe this.
596
00:37:37,789 --> 00:37:40,759
I've never ever
been unfaithful to you. Ever.
597
00:37:40,792 --> 00:37:42,294
I'm only guilty
598
00:37:42,328 --> 00:37:44,996
of a little kissy-face
with one nurse.
599
00:37:45,030 --> 00:37:46,565
You stopped me
600
00:37:46,598 --> 00:37:49,435
from making a big mistake
last night.
601
00:37:49,468 --> 00:37:52,804
Val, I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.
602
00:37:52,838 --> 00:37:55,974
I'll see you
when I get home. Bye.
603
00:38:00,078 --> 00:38:02,414
Come back to Finland.
604
00:38:02,448 --> 00:38:05,917
Come back to winter
all year round.
605
00:38:05,951 --> 00:38:09,621
Come back
to parkas and goat's cheese.
606
00:38:09,655 --> 00:38:12,324
Finland knows
what you want.
607
00:38:12,358 --> 00:38:15,761
Yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi,
yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
608
00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:18,564
Yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi,
yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi,
609
00:38:18,597 --> 00:38:19,831
hee-hoo!
610
00:38:19,865 --> 00:38:20,799
[ Click ]
611
00:38:20,832 --> 00:38:22,401
Television!
612
00:38:22,434 --> 00:38:24,035
[ Speaking
Alien Language ]
613
00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:28,740
OK. Well,
we're all set.
614
00:38:28,774 --> 00:38:30,842
Finland is here?
615
00:38:30,876 --> 00:38:33,111
Finland? No.
This is the valley.
616
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:35,647
Finland is the capital
of Norway.
617
00:38:35,681 --> 00:38:36,948
You learn fast.
618
00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:39,551
Sorry I was
such an asshole.
619
00:38:39,585 --> 00:38:42,554
Oh! I see you found
a cable station.
620
00:38:42,588 --> 00:38:43,955
[ Imitating Ted ]
Valerie?
621
00:38:43,989 --> 00:38:46,124
Are you there?
Please pick up.
622
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:47,626
Did Ted call?
623
00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:50,629
I'll be over
right after work tonight.
624
00:38:50,662 --> 00:38:52,030
OK, honey? Bye.
625
00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:53,865
Oh, my God!
626
00:38:53,899 --> 00:38:55,967
Ted is, like,
a trained doctor.
627
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,936
One look at you guys
628
00:38:57,969 --> 00:39:00,539
and he'll know
you're not local.
629
00:39:00,572 --> 00:39:04,476
If I only had
a zillion gallons of Nair.
630
00:39:04,510 --> 00:39:06,378
Nair.Nair.
Nair.
631
00:39:08,947 --> 00:39:11,483
* I'm a sex pixy
632
00:39:11,517 --> 00:39:12,884
* Is that OK?
633
00:39:12,918 --> 00:39:15,921
* Do do do do do
634
00:39:15,954 --> 00:39:19,458
* Do do do
do do do do do *
635
00:39:19,491 --> 00:39:23,662
* Hey, hey,
do do do do *
636
00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:25,697
* Do do do do
637
00:39:25,731 --> 00:39:27,633
* Da-do, oh, oh *
638
00:39:27,666 --> 00:39:30,669
Candy, whatever you do,
don't freak out.
639
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:31,437
Valerie!
640
00:39:31,470 --> 00:39:34,640
Promise me
you will not freak out.
641
00:39:34,673 --> 00:39:37,042
Stop! You are
freaking me out!
642
00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:39,645
Um...a UFO landed
in my pool,
643
00:39:39,678 --> 00:39:41,647
and they captured me,
644
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,982
but we made friends,
and I fed them Pop Tarts.
645
00:39:44,015 --> 00:39:46,785
You've got to
cut their hair.
646
00:39:46,818 --> 00:39:48,620
What did you say?
647
00:39:48,654 --> 00:39:52,691
Oh, nothing.
I'm on drugs.
Candy, help them.
648
00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:55,060
Would you listen
to yourself?
649
00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:57,062
Valerie,
no man is worth
650
00:39:57,095 --> 00:39:59,698
getting yourself
in this state over.
651
00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:02,067
Mel Gibson, maybe,
but not Ted!
652
00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:03,669
Valerie, come here.
653
00:40:03,702 --> 00:40:05,704
Just sit down, honey.
654
00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,105
Relax.
655
00:40:07,138 --> 00:40:09,107
Have a mental Margarita.
656
00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:11,910
Now I'm going to
show you something
657
00:40:11,943 --> 00:40:14,179
that's going to
change your life.
658
00:40:14,212 --> 00:40:16,948
In that case,
let me get a cigarette.
659
00:40:20,919 --> 00:40:24,189
You got little
alien house guests...
660
00:40:24,222 --> 00:40:25,557
let's see them.
661
00:40:27,626 --> 00:40:29,094
[ Coughing ]
662
00:40:29,127 --> 00:40:30,662
Shit, Valerie!
663
00:40:30,696 --> 00:40:32,063
Those are aliens!
664
00:40:32,097 --> 00:40:33,965
I told you.
665
00:40:33,999 --> 00:40:36,234
Oh, God! Oh, shit!
666
00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:37,669
Valerie! Valerie!
667
00:40:37,703 --> 00:40:38,670
Those are--
668
00:40:38,704 --> 00:40:40,906
Those are big...
aliens!
669
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,808
What do they want
from us?
670
00:40:42,841 --> 00:40:45,210
What do you want
from us?
671
00:40:45,243 --> 00:40:48,213
Did they take control
of your brain?
672
00:40:48,246 --> 00:40:49,981
Oh...I don't
think so.
673
00:40:50,015 --> 00:40:51,517
Can they talk?
674
00:40:51,550 --> 00:40:52,784
* What'll it be?
Hmm **
675
00:40:52,818 --> 00:40:54,786
I ate all
the Frusen Gladje.
676
00:40:54,820 --> 00:40:56,955
Panty shields
make me feel fresh.
677
00:40:56,988 --> 00:40:59,057
Are they straight?
678
00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:01,660
I don't know.
They're aliens!
679
00:41:01,693 --> 00:41:03,061
This is Mac,
680
00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:04,663
and this is,
uh...Zeebo,
681
00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:05,997
and this is
Wiploc.
682
00:41:06,031 --> 00:41:08,199
[ Coughing ]
683
00:41:08,233 --> 00:41:10,502
Well, they're
just darling.
684
00:41:10,536 --> 00:41:12,504
Get them
out of here.
685
00:41:12,538 --> 00:41:15,273
They can't leave
until the pool is drained.
686
00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:17,743
If Ted finds out
they're aliens,
687
00:41:17,776 --> 00:41:20,045
he'll want to
dissect them.
688
00:41:20,078 --> 00:41:22,614
We could make them
look more...human.
689
00:41:22,648 --> 00:41:25,784
I thought you never
wanted to see Ted again.
690
00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:28,754
I don't. I just want
to talk to him.
691
00:41:28,787 --> 00:41:30,889
Valerie,
this is insane.
692
00:41:30,922 --> 00:41:33,825
They're, like,
throwing up on my stuff!
693
00:41:33,859 --> 00:41:35,493
Come on, Candy.
694
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:41,733
Well, I see split ends
are universal.
695
00:41:43,635 --> 00:41:46,605
Lost in space
with no conditioner, huh?
696
00:41:46,638 --> 00:41:50,008
I think they've
been up there
a long time.
697
00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:53,044
Well, it's all dead.
It's got to come off.
698
00:41:53,078 --> 00:41:55,013
Can you do it?
699
00:41:55,046 --> 00:41:57,616
Does Tina Turner
wear a wig?
700
00:41:57,649 --> 00:41:59,017
That's a wig?
701
00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:01,620
That's a wig.
Great!
702
00:42:01,653 --> 00:42:03,021
I'll get clothes!
703
00:42:03,054 --> 00:42:05,657
If I find one flea,
the deal's off!
704
00:42:07,659 --> 00:42:09,728
OK, Val,
are you ready?
705
00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:11,630
I think
they're almost done.
706
00:42:11,663 --> 00:42:15,100
I gave the red one
the blond-surfer look.
707
00:42:17,302 --> 00:42:19,671
Wow!
708
00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:21,573
Which one
is that?
709
00:42:21,607 --> 00:42:22,841
Wiploc.
710
00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:25,076
We are human now!
711
00:42:25,110 --> 00:42:27,846
I don't believe it!
He's even cute!
712
00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,981
I know!
Bitchin', huh?
713
00:42:30,015 --> 00:42:32,818
Val, you won't
believe this.
714
00:42:32,851 --> 00:42:34,920
OK...
715
00:42:36,722 --> 00:42:38,089
Surprise!
716
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,161
Is that Zeebo?
717
00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:46,998
[ Imitating Candy ]
Oh, my God!
You're, like, totally black!
718
00:42:49,801 --> 00:42:50,802
OK...
719
00:42:50,836 --> 00:42:53,204
and...behind
door number three...
720
00:42:53,238 --> 00:42:56,908
this is
the ultimate!
721
00:43:05,183 --> 00:43:06,818
Wow!
722
00:43:09,187 --> 00:43:10,922
You're incredible.
723
00:43:15,026 --> 00:43:18,363
Well, it was easy.
I started on poodles.
724
00:43:18,396 --> 00:43:20,632
Good?
725
00:43:20,666 --> 00:43:22,801
Real good.
726
00:43:26,171 --> 00:43:27,739
OK. OK.
727
00:43:27,773 --> 00:43:29,741
Group picture. Come on.
728
00:43:29,775 --> 00:43:31,843
Come on.
Get down there.
729
00:43:33,812 --> 00:43:35,180
All right...
730
00:43:35,213 --> 00:43:38,083
now say,
Velveeta Slices.
731
00:43:38,116 --> 00:43:40,652
Sl--Vegakld.
Vel--salksi.
732
00:43:42,220 --> 00:43:45,190
OK, you guys,
what's the plan for tonight?
733
00:43:45,223 --> 00:43:47,258
Whoa! Candy,
reality check.
734
00:43:47,292 --> 00:43:49,861
We can't go out.
They're aliens!
735
00:43:49,895 --> 00:43:52,297
So? They can still
be dates!
736
00:43:52,330 --> 00:43:55,400
Do you guys have Margaritas
on your planet?
737
00:43:55,433 --> 00:43:58,336
It's not safe.
I'll take you home.
738
00:43:58,369 --> 00:44:01,406
Don't get your panties
in a bunch.
739
00:44:01,439 --> 00:44:04,409
We're with major cute guys.
It's Saturday night!
740
00:44:04,442 --> 00:44:06,211
Come on!
741
00:44:11,116 --> 00:44:15,053
You guys are so lucky
you crashed in the valley.
742
00:44:15,086 --> 00:44:17,222
It's the baddest place
on earth.
743
00:44:25,864 --> 00:44:27,665
Candy, sit down!
744
00:44:28,734 --> 00:44:30,769
Hi, sweets.
745
00:44:30,802 --> 00:44:34,873
I think we'd like to keep
a low profile, Candy.
746
00:44:34,906 --> 00:44:37,208
Guys, what you
doing later?
747
00:44:40,846 --> 00:44:43,982
I never would have believed
that this could happen.
748
00:44:44,015 --> 00:44:46,785
That you'd be cruising
with shaved Martians?
749
00:44:46,818 --> 00:44:50,021
No. That Ted would
do this to me.
750
00:44:50,055 --> 00:44:53,124
Give men enough rope,
they'll dig their own grave.
751
00:44:53,158 --> 00:44:54,292
So true.
752
00:44:54,325 --> 00:44:57,262
He said he wanted
one last fling.
753
00:44:57,295 --> 00:44:59,865
Maybe that's normal,
I don't know.
754
00:44:59,898 --> 00:45:02,834
I'm sure
we'll be happy
once we're married,
755
00:45:02,868 --> 00:45:05,303
but I can't pretend
this didn't happen.
756
00:45:05,336 --> 00:45:08,173
Valerie, you work hard
to make Ted happy.
757
00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:10,241
Who is making you happy?
758
00:45:17,482 --> 00:45:19,184
Woo!
Woo!
759
00:45:19,217 --> 00:45:20,451
Finland babes!
760
00:45:20,485 --> 00:45:24,089
Yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi,
yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
761
00:45:24,122 --> 00:45:27,058
Didn't you go to
Van Nuys High?
762
00:45:27,092 --> 00:45:28,927
Van Nuys High?
763
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:30,495
Aren't you
Terry Harper's brother?
764
00:45:30,528 --> 00:45:32,330
Terry Harper's
brother?
765
00:45:32,363 --> 00:45:33,832
Ha ha ha!
766
00:45:33,865 --> 00:45:35,934
Someone should
hose those girls down!
767
00:45:35,967 --> 00:45:37,368
Want to party?
768
00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:38,870
Want to party?
769
00:45:38,904 --> 00:45:40,238
Come on!
770
00:45:46,511 --> 00:45:47,478
Wiploc!
771
00:45:51,082 --> 00:45:53,151
Look! There they are!
772
00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:58,456
OK. Don't worry.
773
00:45:58,489 --> 00:46:00,458
I'll go get him.
774
00:46:00,491 --> 00:46:02,460
Me, too.
Me, too, too.
775
00:46:02,493 --> 00:46:03,461
Wait--
776
00:46:03,494 --> 00:46:05,897
It'll only take
a minute.
777
00:46:09,968 --> 00:46:13,004
Come on, you guys,
what are you doing?
778
00:46:13,038 --> 00:46:18,509
[ Tarzan Yell ]
779
00:46:20,011 --> 00:46:22,814
* When I need something
to help me unwind *
780
00:46:22,848 --> 00:46:26,551
* I find a six-foot baby
with a one-track mind *
781
00:46:26,584 --> 00:46:30,388
* Smart guys are nowhere,
they make demands *
782
00:46:30,421 --> 00:46:33,424
* Give me a moron
with talented hands... *
783
00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:35,861
Where did you buy those?
784
00:46:35,894 --> 00:46:37,128
They're my dad's.
785
00:46:37,162 --> 00:46:38,864
Those are fabulous.
786
00:46:38,897 --> 00:46:40,531
I know.
787
00:46:40,565 --> 00:46:42,267
* ...In love
till we're done *
788
00:46:42,300 --> 00:46:44,535
* Then they're
out in the hall *
789
00:46:44,569 --> 00:46:46,437
* I like 'em big and
790
00:46:46,471 --> 00:46:48,073
* Stupid
791
00:46:48,106 --> 00:46:50,341
* I like 'em big and
792
00:46:50,375 --> 00:46:51,309
* Real dumb
793
00:46:51,342 --> 00:46:53,344
* I like 'em big and
794
00:46:53,378 --> 00:46:54,545
* Stupid
795
00:46:58,516 --> 00:47:02,353
* What kind of guy
does a lot for me? *
796
00:47:02,387 --> 00:47:05,256
* Superman
with a lobotomy *
797
00:47:05,290 --> 00:47:07,258
* My father's
out of Harvard *
798
00:47:07,292 --> 00:47:09,027
* My brother's out of Yale
799
00:47:09,060 --> 00:47:10,929
* But the guy
I took home last night *
800
00:47:10,962 --> 00:47:12,931
* Just got
out of jail... *
801
00:47:12,964 --> 00:47:14,565
Valerie! Hi!
Over here!
802
00:47:14,599 --> 00:47:16,902
Candy!
Hi!
803
00:47:16,935 --> 00:47:19,604
Are you nuts?
What are you doing?
804
00:47:19,637 --> 00:47:21,506
Having cocktails.
805
00:47:22,908 --> 00:47:25,176
Alaskan
polar bear heater.
806
00:47:25,210 --> 00:47:27,145
Ted is coming home
tonight,
807
00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:31,149
and there's a UFO
in my pool. A UFO!
808
00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:34,552
B.F.D. Ted won't be there
for a few hours.
809
00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:36,221
Just chill out.
810
00:47:36,254 --> 00:47:38,256
Let's get
these guys out
811
00:47:38,289 --> 00:47:40,158
before anyone realizes
they're aliens.
812
00:47:40,191 --> 00:47:43,194
No one's going to know
they're aliens, OK?
813
00:47:43,228 --> 00:47:44,329
Tanya!
814
00:47:46,064 --> 00:47:48,066
Hi. You know Val,
815
00:47:48,099 --> 00:47:50,468
and this is Mac,
Wiploc, and Zeebo.
816
00:47:50,501 --> 00:47:53,538
They're from Mars
or something!
Could you die?
817
00:47:53,571 --> 00:47:55,640
Hey, Zeebo,
want to dance?
818
00:47:56,607 --> 00:47:58,143
Want to dance?
819
00:47:58,176 --> 00:47:59,644
Great idea.
820
00:48:02,180 --> 00:48:03,648
Wiploc.
821
00:48:05,183 --> 00:48:07,085
Should I dance?
822
00:48:07,118 --> 00:48:08,386
Sure.
823
00:48:08,419 --> 00:48:10,989
Fine. Hey,
party down.
824
00:48:11,022 --> 00:48:13,091
When you're ready
for your chauffeur,
825
00:48:13,124 --> 00:48:15,226
I'll be out
on the patio.
826
00:48:16,561 --> 00:48:18,229
What's her problem?
827
00:48:20,565 --> 00:48:22,367
Two weeks?
828
00:48:23,268 --> 00:48:24,435
Whoa!
829
00:48:24,469 --> 00:48:26,938
* ...'Cause
it was so stupid *
830
00:48:26,972 --> 00:48:30,008
* The bigger they come,
the harder I fall *
831
00:48:30,041 --> 00:48:31,576
* In love till we're done
832
00:48:31,609 --> 00:48:33,244
* Then they're
out in the hall... *
833
00:48:33,278 --> 00:48:35,513
Come on.
Let's dance.
834
00:48:35,546 --> 00:48:37,215
Woo!
835
00:48:37,248 --> 00:48:39,217
* I like 'em big and
836
00:48:39,250 --> 00:48:41,019
* Real dumb
837
00:48:41,052 --> 00:48:42,520
* I like 'em big and...
838
00:48:42,553 --> 00:48:43,854
He left?
839
00:48:47,725 --> 00:48:50,095
* She likes 'em big and
840
00:48:50,128 --> 00:48:51,529
* Stupid *
841
00:48:56,267 --> 00:48:57,935
[ Piano Playing ]
842
00:49:07,312 --> 00:49:10,448
You, go rest
your thumbs.
I'll drive.
843
00:49:41,312 --> 00:49:43,248
You could actually
play that?
844
00:49:43,281 --> 00:49:46,784
Valerie, are we limp
and hard to manage?
845
00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:49,454
Oh, no, no.
You're fine.
846
00:49:49,487 --> 00:49:50,588
I'm sorry.
847
00:49:50,621 --> 00:49:54,592
I just don't feel
like talking much.
848
00:49:54,625 --> 00:49:58,196
I guess I figured that
everything would
just fall into place
849
00:49:58,229 --> 00:50:00,165
if I found
Mr. Right.
850
00:50:00,198 --> 00:50:02,267
Mr. Right?
851
00:50:02,300 --> 00:50:06,304
Mr. Right is
like the guy you
dream of meeting
852
00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:08,806
ever since you're
a little girl.
853
00:50:08,839 --> 00:50:11,442
You'd go anyplace
or do anything
854
00:50:11,476 --> 00:50:13,278
to be together.
855
00:50:13,311 --> 00:50:15,046
He feels
the same way about you
856
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:18,116
because you're right
for each other.
857
00:50:18,149 --> 00:50:19,517
I don't know.
858
00:50:19,550 --> 00:50:21,519
Maybe
I'm kidding myself.
859
00:50:21,552 --> 00:50:24,222
Maybe there's
no such thing.
860
00:50:31,796 --> 00:50:34,232
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
861
00:50:34,265 --> 00:50:36,367
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
862
00:50:36,401 --> 00:50:38,403
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
863
00:50:38,436 --> 00:50:40,371
* Out on the floor
864
00:50:40,405 --> 00:50:42,373
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
865
00:50:42,407 --> 00:50:44,509
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
866
00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:46,111
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
867
00:50:46,144 --> 00:50:47,545
Hey, baby.
868
00:50:47,578 --> 00:50:52,683
Why be with a zero
when you can dance
with a hero?
869
00:50:52,717 --> 00:50:55,586
* Oh, baby
870
00:50:56,554 --> 00:50:58,489
* You got to tell me
871
00:50:58,523 --> 00:51:01,626
* Where it takes us
you don't care *
872
00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:04,662
* Ooh, yeah
873
00:51:04,695 --> 00:51:06,797
* Baby, just fix up
your hair *
874
00:51:06,831 --> 00:51:12,637
* It doesn't matter
what you wear to me *
875
00:51:12,670 --> 00:51:14,605
* Get yourself back
in your car *
876
00:51:14,639 --> 00:51:17,642
* We don't have to
go too far *
877
00:51:17,675 --> 00:51:19,377
* To see
878
00:51:19,410 --> 00:51:21,212
* Oh, baby
879
00:51:21,246 --> 00:51:22,147
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
880
00:51:22,180 --> 00:51:24,882
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
881
00:51:24,915 --> 00:51:27,485
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
882
00:51:27,518 --> 00:51:28,619
* Out on the floor
883
00:51:28,653 --> 00:51:30,655
* Come on, now, hurry
884
00:51:30,688 --> 00:51:32,290
* There's always something
we can do *
885
00:51:32,323 --> 00:51:37,195
Why be with a hero
when you can dance
with a zero?
886
00:51:37,228 --> 00:51:39,230
* Don't have to worry
887
00:51:39,264 --> 00:51:42,133
* As long as I'm not there
with you *
888
00:51:42,167 --> 00:51:44,669
* Oh, yeah, yeah
889
00:51:44,702 --> 00:51:47,672
* Baby, just fix up
your hair *
890
00:51:47,705 --> 00:51:52,243
* It doesn't matter
what you wear to me *
891
00:51:54,179 --> 00:51:55,413
* Get yourself back
in your car *
892
00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:58,416
* We don't have to
go too far *
893
00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:00,418
Whoa.
894
00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:01,852
Back off, Jack!
895
00:52:01,886 --> 00:52:03,821
The lucky lady's
with me,
896
00:52:03,854 --> 00:52:07,192
and don't be copping
my dance moves.
897
00:52:07,225 --> 00:52:09,794
I'll dance
with you both.
I don't care.
898
00:52:09,827 --> 00:52:12,430
No, no, no.
You don't
understand.
899
00:52:12,463 --> 00:52:13,831
He can't dance.
900
00:52:13,864 --> 00:52:17,235
All right. I know
he can't do this.
901
00:52:18,369 --> 00:52:20,271
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
902
00:52:20,305 --> 00:52:22,540
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
903
00:52:22,573 --> 00:52:24,942
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
904
00:52:24,975 --> 00:52:26,444
* Out on the floor
905
00:52:26,477 --> 00:52:28,479
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
906
00:52:28,513 --> 00:52:30,715
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
907
00:52:30,748 --> 00:52:32,550
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
908
00:52:32,583 --> 00:52:34,452
* Out on the floor
909
00:52:34,485 --> 00:52:36,454
* Shake all night
910
00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:37,688
* Don't you
want to shake it? *
911
00:52:37,722 --> 00:52:39,957
* Baby gonna dance
all night *
912
00:52:39,990 --> 00:52:42,527
* Come shake it, baby
913
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:43,928
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
914
00:52:43,961 --> 00:52:44,829
* Shake it, baby
915
00:52:44,862 --> 00:52:46,831
* Shake it, baby,
shake it *
916
00:52:46,864 --> 00:52:48,799
* Dance all night
917
00:52:48,833 --> 00:52:50,835
* Out on the floor
918
00:52:57,608 --> 00:52:59,677
Come on, man.
919
00:53:02,847 --> 00:53:05,650
Hot damn!
Hot damn!
920
00:53:07,985 --> 00:53:11,389
* There's nothing
I'd rather do *
921
00:53:12,990 --> 00:53:16,694
* Right here
while you're mine *
922
00:53:16,727 --> 00:53:19,664
* Being here with you
923
00:53:19,697 --> 00:53:23,834
* Leaving it
all behind, baby *
924
00:53:26,003 --> 00:53:29,374
All right!
Hey! Woo!
925
00:53:38,983 --> 00:53:41,286
* Baby, just fix up
your hair *
926
00:53:41,319 --> 00:53:46,991
* It doesn't matter
what you wear to me *
927
00:53:47,024 --> 00:53:49,427
* Get yourself back
in your car *
928
00:53:49,460 --> 00:53:52,563
* We don't have to
go too far *
929
00:53:52,597 --> 00:53:53,698
* To see
930
00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:55,300
* Oh, baby
931
00:53:55,333 --> 00:53:57,335
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
932
00:53:57,368 --> 00:53:59,404
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
933
00:53:59,437 --> 00:54:01,939
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
934
00:54:01,972 --> 00:54:03,474
* Out on the floor
935
00:54:03,508 --> 00:54:05,810
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
936
00:54:05,843 --> 00:54:06,944
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
937
00:54:06,977 --> 00:54:09,780
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
938
00:54:09,814 --> 00:54:11,816
* Out on the floor
939
00:54:11,849 --> 00:54:13,484
* Shake all night
940
00:54:13,518 --> 00:54:15,353
Damn!
941
00:54:15,386 --> 00:54:17,688
* Baby *
942
00:54:26,397 --> 00:54:28,499
I'm going home
with him.
943
00:54:28,533 --> 00:54:30,601
I'm going home
with him.
944
00:54:32,337 --> 00:54:34,305
I'm going home
with him.
945
00:54:35,973 --> 00:54:38,576
Bitch.
946
00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:41,011
I don't even know
what planet
you're from.
947
00:54:41,045 --> 00:54:42,613
Jhazalla.
948
00:54:42,647 --> 00:54:46,317
Oh. We've only been
as far as the moon.
949
00:54:49,654 --> 00:54:51,622
You know, at first,
950
00:54:51,656 --> 00:54:53,958
I thought you
kind of looked
951
00:54:53,991 --> 00:54:56,594
like a giant bigfoot
or something,
952
00:54:56,627 --> 00:55:00,965
but now...
if I didn't know
you were an alien,
953
00:55:00,998 --> 00:55:05,570
I would just think
that you were
a really cute guy
954
00:55:05,603 --> 00:55:08,339
who, I'm sure,
has a girlfriend.
955
00:55:08,373 --> 00:55:11,308
No Mr. Right girlfriend.
956
00:55:20,751 --> 00:55:22,453
Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
957
00:55:24,589 --> 00:55:26,957
Oh, my God.
That's Wiploc.
958
00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:28,726
* Hit me *
959
00:55:29,594 --> 00:55:30,895
All right!
960
00:55:30,928 --> 00:55:32,497
All right!
961
00:55:32,530 --> 00:55:34,599
All right!
962
00:55:47,878 --> 00:55:49,847
Give me your autograph
on my forehead.
963
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:51,616
Sign these.
964
00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:57,121
Candy, you're frenching
an alien in public!
965
00:55:57,154 --> 00:56:00,525
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
966
00:56:02,693 --> 00:56:04,562
You OK?
967
00:56:04,595 --> 00:56:06,464
Wiploc.
Wiploc.
968
00:56:06,497 --> 00:56:11,536
I want to be zero.
I want to be zero.
969
00:56:11,569 --> 00:56:13,037
No, no, no.
970
00:56:17,141 --> 00:56:19,009
Candy, uh,
I'll call you.
971
00:56:19,043 --> 00:56:21,446
Oh, what
was it like?
972
00:56:21,479 --> 00:56:23,714
Oh, my God!
You're so lucky!
973
00:56:23,748 --> 00:56:25,450
Did you get
his number?
974
00:56:25,483 --> 00:56:27,885
I want his baby.
975
00:56:30,154 --> 00:56:31,822
Sweetheart?
976
00:56:31,856 --> 00:56:33,991
Sweetheart,
I'm sorry.
977
00:56:34,024 --> 00:56:35,793
Val?
978
00:56:39,764 --> 00:56:40,931
Honey?
979
00:56:41,932 --> 00:56:43,634
Hey, Val?
980
00:56:47,838 --> 00:56:49,807
What?
Oh, wait a second.
981
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:53,177
They said the Commodore
would stand up to anything.
982
00:56:53,210 --> 00:56:55,780
[ Thud ]
Oh!
983
00:56:55,813 --> 00:56:58,616
Beamer?
Beamer?
984
00:57:00,785 --> 00:57:03,153
Beamer.
[ Making Fish Noise ]
985
00:57:03,187 --> 00:57:05,122
Astin, where's Martin?
986
00:57:05,155 --> 00:57:06,757
Where's Val?
Don't, don't panic.
987
00:57:06,791 --> 00:57:09,026
She probably wasn't here
when it happened.
988
00:57:09,059 --> 00:57:13,698
Operator,
give me the police.
This is an emergency.
989
00:57:27,177 --> 00:57:28,779
Police?
This is Dr. Gallagher.
990
00:57:28,813 --> 00:57:31,882
I'd like to report
a break-in
991
00:57:31,916 --> 00:57:36,186
and...
and a possible kidnapping.
992
00:57:36,220 --> 00:57:37,755
Oh, God.
Ted's here.
993
00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:40,625
You guys,
act human, OK?
994
00:57:40,658 --> 00:57:42,760
Just act human.
995
00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:45,796
Oh, sweetheart,
you're all right.
996
00:57:45,830 --> 00:57:48,766
Oh, I was so worried
about you.
997
00:57:48,799 --> 00:57:51,902
When I came home,
the house was wrecked.
998
00:57:54,304 --> 00:57:57,074
Who are they?
999
00:57:57,107 --> 00:57:59,810
Who?
Those guys?
Yeah.
1000
00:57:59,844 --> 00:58:01,011
A band.
1001
00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:04,014
Boy,
I'm totally clear.
[ Humming ]
1002
00:58:04,048 --> 00:58:06,551
You mean like
a rock 'n' roll
band?
1003
00:58:06,584 --> 00:58:09,554
What are you doing
with a band, Val?
1004
00:58:09,587 --> 00:58:11,255
I won them
on MTV.
1005
00:58:11,288 --> 00:58:14,258
I won an MTV weekend
with a band.
1006
00:58:14,291 --> 00:58:16,794
Hi. I am, uh, Mac.
1007
00:58:16,827 --> 00:58:19,196
How is it hanging,
Mr. Dude?
1008
00:58:19,229 --> 00:58:22,132
Dr. Dude.
Dr. Dude?
1009
00:58:22,166 --> 00:58:27,304
I came home
to talk to you alone.
1010
00:58:27,337 --> 00:58:31,141
This is private.
I'm sure you won't mind
when I ask you to leave.
1011
00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:34,144
They can't leave.
They're spending
the weekend.
1012
00:58:34,178 --> 00:58:38,148
No, Val. They can't.
This is my house.
1013
00:58:38,182 --> 00:58:42,653
Your house? Wait.
I threw you out,
Dr. Love.
1014
00:58:42,687 --> 00:58:45,222
I'm going to
throw them out.
What about that?
1015
00:58:45,255 --> 00:58:47,291
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
1016
00:58:47,324 --> 00:58:50,761
I won them.
What?
1017
00:58:50,795 --> 00:58:54,632
You're tearing
me apart!
1018
00:58:54,665 --> 00:58:57,802
You have no business being
with these weird people.
1019
00:58:57,835 --> 00:59:00,605
I never won
a band before.
They're staying.
1020
00:59:00,638 --> 00:59:02,807
I want you
to be happy,
but--
1021
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:04,208
Dr. Dude?
What now?
1022
00:59:04,241 --> 00:59:06,677
Yee-wah.
Ah!
1023
00:59:06,711 --> 00:59:09,046
He was good.
You animal!
1024
00:59:10,615 --> 00:59:13,283
I ought to give you
a tracheotomy.
1025
00:59:13,317 --> 00:59:16,353
That was Mercedes,
my most expensive
fish!
1026
00:59:16,386 --> 00:59:20,625
Hey, what's
going on here?
Break it up.
1027
00:59:20,658 --> 00:59:24,662
Hey, hey! Come on!
Break it up.
1028
00:59:24,695 --> 00:59:26,063
What are you doing?
1029
00:59:26,096 --> 00:59:27,798
Who's
Dr. Gallagher?
1030
00:59:27,832 --> 00:59:30,034
I'm
Dr. Gallagher.
1031
00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:31,936
Uh-huh.
I'm Officer Demonte.
1032
00:59:31,969 --> 00:59:33,738
This is
Officer Murphy.
1033
00:59:33,771 --> 00:59:36,607
You reported a break-in
and possible kidnapping?
1034
00:59:36,641 --> 00:59:39,009
Yes, I did,
but she's fine.
1035
00:59:39,043 --> 00:59:43,981
However,
these degenerates
broke into my home
1036
00:59:44,014 --> 00:59:45,850
and destroyed
my property.
1037
00:59:45,883 --> 00:59:48,619
I want them arrested
right now.
They're MTV scum!
1038
00:59:48,653 --> 00:59:52,056
Ma'am, you mind telling us
what's going on here?
1039
00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:53,991
This man doesn't
live here anymore,
1040
00:59:54,024 --> 00:59:57,662
and he's strangling
my guests.
1041
00:59:57,695 --> 00:59:59,296
He was eating
my Blue-Gilled
Dorky.
1042
00:59:59,329 --> 01:00:01,198
Watch your mouth!
1043
01:00:01,231 --> 01:00:04,769
10-13. We got
a false report.
1044
01:00:04,802 --> 01:00:07,204
Just a domestic
dispute.
1045
01:00:07,237 --> 01:00:11,275
His girlfriend
dumped him
for a rock band.
1046
01:00:11,308 --> 01:00:13,177
Bullshit!
1047
01:00:13,210 --> 01:00:16,013
Let's go where
you can cool off.
1048
01:00:16,046 --> 01:00:17,982
I'm a doctor!
1049
01:00:18,015 --> 01:00:20,350
If we bust your arm,
you can put on
your own cast.
1050
01:00:20,384 --> 01:00:24,021
You're right, Val.
I don't know you.
1051
01:00:24,054 --> 01:00:27,091
If you thought I'd spend
my life with you,
1052
01:00:27,124 --> 01:00:29,927
your friends, and
that psychotic cat of yours,
1053
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:31,161
you're crazy!
1054
01:00:31,195 --> 01:00:34,665
The wedding's off, Val!
Come on, buddy.
1055
01:00:37,735 --> 01:00:40,738
You want to dance
with a zero?
1056
01:00:40,771 --> 01:00:42,807
I'm sorry.
1057
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:46,210
I think I have to
go to my room now.
1058
01:00:55,953 --> 01:00:58,055
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1059
01:01:21,111 --> 01:01:23,180
Is Ted
coming back?
1060
01:01:25,382 --> 01:01:28,152
[ Sigh ]
1061
01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:30,187
No. Ted doesn't want
to come back.
1062
01:01:30,220 --> 01:01:31,488
[ Door Closes ]
1063
01:01:31,521 --> 01:01:33,791
I don't know
what Ted wants,
1064
01:01:33,824 --> 01:01:36,226
but it's not me.
1065
01:01:36,260 --> 01:01:38,362
What does
Valerie want?
1066
01:01:39,529 --> 01:01:41,098
I don't know.
1067
01:01:41,131 --> 01:01:43,734
I just want
to be happy.
1068
01:01:43,768 --> 01:01:46,370
Mac could make
Valerie happy.
1069
01:01:46,403 --> 01:01:49,006
Thanks, but I don't think
1070
01:01:49,039 --> 01:01:52,509
anybody could make me feel
very good right now.
1071
01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:54,478
Mac could make
Valerie feel
1072
01:01:54,511 --> 01:01:57,214
very, very good.
1073
01:01:57,247 --> 01:02:00,785
Wait a minute.
Are you coming on to me?
1074
01:02:00,818 --> 01:02:02,319
Is this a pass?
1075
01:02:02,352 --> 01:02:07,524
Because if it is,
sex is totally
out of the question.
1076
01:02:07,557 --> 01:02:09,526
What is sex?
1077
01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:11,929
Sex? You know,
making love.
1078
01:02:11,962 --> 01:02:14,932
A man and a woman
like each other,
1079
01:02:14,965 --> 01:02:18,068
and they take
their clothes off, and...
1080
01:02:18,102 --> 01:02:20,470
OK.
1081
01:02:20,504 --> 01:02:22,439
Well, no, no, no!
1082
01:02:22,472 --> 01:02:25,475
We can't because
me and Ted are, uh...
1083
01:02:25,509 --> 01:02:28,478
I guess we're not,
but, I mean, uh...
1084
01:02:28,512 --> 01:02:31,081
we can't because
you're an alien,
1085
01:02:31,115 --> 01:02:33,050
and I'm from the valley.
1086
01:02:33,083 --> 01:02:37,054
We may not even be
anatomically correct
for each other.
1087
01:02:37,087 --> 01:02:39,456
That could be
a real problem.
1088
01:02:39,489 --> 01:02:40,457
[ Zipper Unzips ]
1089
01:02:40,490 --> 01:02:42,059
No problem.
1090
01:02:42,092 --> 01:02:45,062
But, I mean, uh,
no, no, no.
1091
01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:47,497
I mean,
it just wouldn't work.
1092
01:02:47,531 --> 01:02:49,466
You're from out of town.
1093
01:02:49,499 --> 01:02:52,502
The phone bills
would just be hell...
1094
01:02:52,536 --> 01:02:53,303
Shh.
1095
01:02:53,337 --> 01:02:56,440
Well, I just don't
want you to think
1096
01:02:56,473 --> 01:02:58,442
Earth girls are easy.
1097
01:02:58,475 --> 01:03:00,444
What is easy?
1098
01:03:00,477 --> 01:03:02,446
This is easy.
1099
01:04:56,393 --> 01:04:58,295
Aah!
1100
01:05:04,001 --> 01:05:06,170
Ah!
1101
01:05:06,203 --> 01:05:07,504
[ Siren ]
1102
01:05:07,537 --> 01:05:09,039
Oh!
1103
01:05:20,617 --> 01:05:22,286
Yeah,
yeah, yeah!
1104
01:05:22,319 --> 01:05:23,487
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
1105
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:27,257
I told you
not to have fun.
1106
01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:34,698
[ Ring ]
1107
01:05:34,731 --> 01:05:37,334
[ Ring ]
1108
01:05:39,536 --> 01:05:43,073
[ Ring ]
1109
01:05:43,107 --> 01:05:44,541
Help!
1110
01:05:59,523 --> 01:06:01,391
Ted!
1111
01:06:02,592 --> 01:06:05,495
Help!
1112
01:06:05,529 --> 01:06:08,665
Uh-oh.
Uh, don't go anywhere.
1113
01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:10,667
I've been paged.
1114
01:06:10,700 --> 01:06:12,436
Oh, sweetheart.
1115
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:13,237
Ted.
1116
01:06:13,270 --> 01:06:15,205
Ted, make it stop.
1117
01:06:15,239 --> 01:06:16,273
Ted.
1118
01:06:18,208 --> 01:06:21,678
What happened
to my fish?
1119
01:06:24,381 --> 01:06:26,150
Ted!
1120
01:06:33,423 --> 01:06:35,225
Beamer!
1121
01:06:35,259 --> 01:06:38,228
Your face!
What happened?
1122
01:06:38,262 --> 01:06:40,397
[ Ribbit Ribbit ]
1123
01:06:47,071 --> 01:06:50,507
Ted!
Stop it.
1124
01:06:50,540 --> 01:06:52,542
Stop it! Stop it!
1125
01:06:56,413 --> 01:06:59,383
Aaah!
1126
01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:32,782
Hi.
1127
01:07:34,151 --> 01:07:35,385
Hi.
1128
01:07:39,589 --> 01:07:40,357
God.
1129
01:07:40,390 --> 01:07:43,527
I had the weirdest
dream last night.
1130
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:45,562
All I remember is--
1131
01:07:45,595 --> 01:07:46,663
Shh...
1132
01:07:51,435 --> 01:07:54,238
[ Thump Thump ]
[ Thump Thump ]
1133
01:07:54,271 --> 01:07:56,873
You have
the strangest heartbeat.
1134
01:07:56,906 --> 01:07:59,509
Sounds like
you have two hearts.
1135
01:07:59,543 --> 01:08:00,777
Yes.
1136
01:08:00,810 --> 01:08:02,446
Don't you?
1137
01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:06,450
No. I just have one.
1138
01:08:07,651 --> 01:08:09,619
Tell me
about Zimbabwe.
1139
01:08:09,653 --> 01:08:11,788
Jhazalla?
1140
01:08:11,821 --> 01:08:15,292
Jhazalla.
Is it like Earth?
1141
01:08:15,325 --> 01:08:17,527
Yes.
It's beautiful.
1142
01:08:17,561 --> 01:08:21,665
Sounds neat.
Is driving a UFO
a good job?
1143
01:08:21,698 --> 01:08:23,533
Oh, yes.
1144
01:08:23,567 --> 01:08:26,403
Do you own
your own home or rent?
1145
01:08:26,436 --> 01:08:28,172
No water.
Come look.
1146
01:08:29,239 --> 01:08:31,408
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1147
01:08:51,395 --> 01:08:54,130
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1148
01:09:34,938 --> 01:09:36,940
Hi, guys.
1149
01:09:36,973 --> 01:09:39,543
Hope instant decaf
is OK.
1150
01:09:39,576 --> 01:09:40,710
Breakfast is on the way.
1151
01:09:40,744 --> 01:09:43,547
I'm making pancakes
from scratch.
1152
01:09:43,580 --> 01:09:45,949
Yeah. Valerie, uh...
1153
01:09:45,982 --> 01:09:47,651
we can go home now.
1154
01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:48,752
Oh.
1155
01:09:49,853 --> 01:09:52,856
Gee...
that's great.
1156
01:09:54,391 --> 01:09:58,695
Wow. I didn't think
it would be so soon.
1157
01:09:58,728 --> 01:10:00,464
Yeah.
1158
01:10:01,598 --> 01:10:04,668
That's, uh,
that's really good.
1159
01:10:04,701 --> 01:10:07,704
Yeah. Uh, Valerie...
1160
01:10:10,006 --> 01:10:12,276
[ Telephone Rings ]
1161
01:10:12,309 --> 01:10:14,811
Well, I better go
get that.
1162
01:10:14,844 --> 01:10:16,680
Pool man!
1163
01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:19,583
Hey, dudes,
what's happening?
1164
01:10:20,650 --> 01:10:23,453
Woody.
Woody.
1165
01:10:23,487 --> 01:10:25,489
What is this?
1166
01:10:25,522 --> 01:10:29,693
A spaceship?
Spaceship?
1167
01:10:32,362 --> 01:10:34,331
No way, Jose.
1168
01:10:34,364 --> 01:10:36,466
What is it?
A car.
1169
01:10:36,500 --> 01:10:38,902
That's why she wanted me
to drain it.
1170
01:10:38,935 --> 01:10:40,604
She drove her car
into the pool.
1171
01:10:40,637 --> 01:10:42,672
I'm always doing that.
1172
01:10:42,706 --> 01:10:46,810
Pretty rad car, though.
Where is it made?
1173
01:10:46,843 --> 01:10:48,678
Finland.
1174
01:10:48,712 --> 01:10:49,946
Finland.Finland.
1175
01:10:49,979 --> 01:10:52,015
Oh, I heard of that.
1176
01:10:52,048 --> 01:10:55,952
Ted, bringing that girl
here was inexcusable.
1177
01:10:55,985 --> 01:11:00,357
Now that I've slept on it,
I could probably
forgive you,
1178
01:11:00,390 --> 01:11:02,726
but what about
calling off the wedding?
1179
01:11:02,759 --> 01:11:05,295
Sweetheart,
I didn't mean that.
1180
01:11:05,329 --> 01:11:08,298
Marrying you is the most
important thing in the world.
1181
01:11:08,332 --> 01:11:11,301
I need you
to take care of me.
1182
01:11:11,335 --> 01:11:14,704
I won't so much
as look at another woman,
1183
01:11:14,738 --> 01:11:19,709
unless, of course, I'm giving
her a physical examination.
1184
01:11:19,743 --> 01:11:24,681
A relationship is
like a porcelain nail--
1185
01:11:24,714 --> 01:11:27,684
You can break it,
you can glue it
back together,
1186
01:11:27,717 --> 01:11:29,686
but it won't be
as strong as before
1187
01:11:29,719 --> 01:11:32,956
unless the person's
committed and not
bringing home nurses.
1188
01:11:32,989 --> 01:11:36,092
You should've seen me
today, man.
1189
01:11:36,125 --> 01:11:38,562
Nothing but radical rips
all the way in.
1190
01:11:38,595 --> 01:11:39,996
You want
some slushy?
1191
01:11:40,029 --> 01:11:43,099
I was barely
off my board
1192
01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:45,735
when the wahines
were all over me.
1193
01:11:45,769 --> 01:11:48,004
Ew! Wahines!
1194
01:11:48,037 --> 01:11:51,775
Wahines.
You know, girls.
1195
01:11:51,808 --> 01:11:54,711
Girls?
You know girls?
1196
01:11:54,744 --> 01:11:56,112
Does the Woodburger
know girls?
1197
01:11:56,145 --> 01:11:58,415
Pinocchio got
a wooden butt?
1198
01:11:58,448 --> 01:12:01,785
I could fix you up
with some bodacious chicks
1199
01:12:01,818 --> 01:12:03,953
just like that.
1200
01:12:03,987 --> 01:12:07,424
You don't believe me?
Like that.
1201
01:12:07,457 --> 01:12:11,127
Come on. Let's hit the beach.
Ride the wild bikinis!
1202
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:13,697
We go get Candy?
1203
01:12:13,730 --> 01:12:16,700
Candy, gum,
beer nuts,
anything you want.
1204
01:12:16,733 --> 01:12:18,034
Twizzlers.
I got some
Milk Duds.
1205
01:12:18,067 --> 01:12:19,903
You ought to
lay off coffee.
1206
01:12:19,936 --> 01:12:22,839
It'll kill you
in a day.
1207
01:12:22,872 --> 01:12:27,010
I will take you
to Zuma Beach.
1208
01:12:27,043 --> 01:12:28,545
I need surprises.
1209
01:12:28,578 --> 01:12:30,079
I need romance.
1210
01:12:30,113 --> 01:12:32,048
How long has it been
1211
01:12:32,081 --> 01:12:36,119
since you said
I love you, I need you,
1212
01:12:36,152 --> 01:12:38,488
I'm crazy about you?
1213
01:12:40,790 --> 01:12:42,492
Well, Ted?
1214
01:12:42,526 --> 01:12:44,494
Get in the car,
will you?
1215
01:12:44,528 --> 01:12:47,597
Wiploc.
Zeebo.
1216
01:12:47,631 --> 01:12:50,467
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1217
01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:53,837
Zeebo going
to Zuma Beach!
1218
01:12:53,870 --> 01:12:55,472
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1219
01:12:55,505 --> 01:12:56,840
Zeebo!
1220
01:12:56,873 --> 01:12:58,608
Wiploc!
1221
01:12:58,642 --> 01:13:01,077
Hey, dudes,
I just remembered
something.
1222
01:13:01,110 --> 01:13:02,646
What was it?
1223
01:13:02,679 --> 01:13:04,681
At the beach today,
1224
01:13:04,714 --> 01:13:07,684
they're having
a blond-of-the-month
contest.
1225
01:13:07,717 --> 01:13:08,652
Blond?
1226
01:13:08,685 --> 01:13:10,086
Yeah, you know,
1227
01:13:10,119 --> 01:13:12,889
blond beach bunnies,
California's finest.
1228
01:13:27,471 --> 01:13:30,073
* Because I'm blond
I don't have to think *
1229
01:13:30,106 --> 01:13:31,775
* I talk like a baby
1230
01:13:31,808 --> 01:13:33,109
* And I never pay
for drinks *
1231
01:13:33,142 --> 01:13:35,845
* Don't have to worry
about getting a man *
1232
01:13:35,879 --> 01:13:38,548
* If I keep this blond
and I keep these tanned *
1233
01:13:38,582 --> 01:13:41,451
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1234
01:13:41,485 --> 01:13:44,053
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1235
01:13:44,087 --> 01:13:45,822
* I see people working
1236
01:13:45,855 --> 01:13:47,223
* It just makes me giggle
1237
01:13:47,256 --> 01:13:48,458
* 'Cause I don't
have to work *
1238
01:13:48,492 --> 01:13:50,694
* I just have to jiggle
1239
01:13:50,727 --> 01:13:52,862
* 'Cause I'm blond,
b-l-o-n-d *
1240
01:13:52,896 --> 01:13:54,998
* 'Cause I'm a blond
Don't you wish you were me? *
1241
01:13:55,031 --> 01:13:56,800
* I never
learned to read *
1242
01:13:56,833 --> 01:13:58,568
* And I never learned
to cook *
1243
01:13:58,602 --> 01:14:01,671
* Why should I bother
when I look like I look? *
1244
01:14:01,705 --> 01:14:04,007
* I know lots of people
are smarter than me *
1245
01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:08,144
* But I have this philosophy--
so what? *
1246
01:14:10,146 --> 01:14:12,916
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1247
01:14:12,949 --> 01:14:14,551
* I see girls without dates
1248
01:14:14,584 --> 01:14:15,685
* And I feel
so sorry for them *
1249
01:14:15,719 --> 01:14:18,655
* 'Cause whenever I'm around
all the men ignore them *
1250
01:14:18,688 --> 01:14:21,124
* 'Cause I'm blond,
nyah, nyah, nyah *
1251
01:14:21,157 --> 01:14:24,594
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
nyah, nyah, nyah *
1252
01:14:24,628 --> 01:14:27,196
* They say to make it
you need talent and ambition *
1253
01:14:27,230 --> 01:14:30,767
* Well, I got a TV show
and this was my audition *
1254
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:33,269
Um, what was it?
OK, don't tell me.
1255
01:14:33,302 --> 01:14:35,605
Oh, yeah, OK.
"Duck, Magnum, duck!"
1256
01:14:35,639 --> 01:14:38,608
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1257
01:14:38,642 --> 01:14:42,011
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1258
01:14:42,045 --> 01:14:44,881
* I took an IQ test,
and I flunked it, of course *
1259
01:14:44,914 --> 01:14:47,083
* I can't spell "VW,"
but I got a Porsche *
1260
01:14:47,116 --> 01:14:49,553
* 'Cause I'm a blond
b-l-o-n-d *
1261
01:14:49,586 --> 01:14:52,822
*'Cause I'm a blond
don't you wish you were me? *
1262
01:14:52,856 --> 01:14:53,857
* I just want to say
1263
01:14:53,890 --> 01:14:56,192
* That being chosen
as this month's Miss August *
1264
01:14:56,225 --> 01:14:57,527
* Is, like, a compliment
I'll remember *
1265
01:14:57,561 --> 01:14:58,895
* For as long as I can
1266
01:14:58,928 --> 01:14:59,896
* Right now,
I'm a freshman *
1267
01:14:59,929 --> 01:15:01,264
* In my fourth year
at U.C.L.A. *
1268
01:15:01,297 --> 01:15:03,099
* But my goal is
to become a veterinarian *
1269
01:15:03,132 --> 01:15:04,734
* 'Cause I love children
1270
01:15:04,768 --> 01:15:07,036
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1271
01:15:07,070 --> 01:15:10,206
* 'Cause we're a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1272
01:15:10,239 --> 01:15:13,109
* Girls think I'm snotty
and maybe it's true *
1273
01:15:13,142 --> 01:15:15,779
* With my hair and body
you would be, too *
1274
01:15:15,812 --> 01:15:18,748
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
b-l...I don't know *
1275
01:15:18,782 --> 01:15:21,217
* I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1276
01:15:21,250 --> 01:15:24,287
* Yes, I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1277
01:15:24,320 --> 01:15:27,691
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah **
1278
01:15:35,331 --> 01:15:37,233
Hey, dudes.
1279
01:15:37,266 --> 01:15:38,902
Dudes, come on.
Snap out of it.
1280
01:15:38,935 --> 01:15:41,104
We're making
a pit stop.
1281
01:15:49,913 --> 01:15:52,281
Bang! Bang!
1282
01:15:53,182 --> 01:15:54,884
Hello, Opie.
1283
01:15:56,352 --> 01:15:58,955
Bryan, come on
over here!
1284
01:15:58,988 --> 01:16:01,024
Will you get
in this car
right now?
1285
01:16:01,057 --> 01:16:04,027
Mom, he's got
my gun!
1286
01:16:04,060 --> 01:16:06,896
I told you
not to tell fibs!
1287
01:16:06,930 --> 01:16:09,599
Hey!
Leave home, kid!
1288
01:16:10,299 --> 01:16:12,636
Hey, dudes! Listen.
1289
01:16:12,669 --> 01:16:14,103
Since I'm springing
for the gas,
1290
01:16:14,137 --> 01:16:16,873
you pick up some brews
and some sandwich stuff.
1291
01:16:16,906 --> 01:16:19,743
Some brews
and some sandwich stuff.
1292
01:16:19,776 --> 01:16:22,879
Yeah. Like
bread and junk.
OK, dudes?
1293
01:16:22,912 --> 01:16:24,180
OK, dude.
1294
01:16:26,249 --> 01:16:28,284
Bread and junk.
1295
01:16:32,756 --> 01:16:35,291
Give us bread.
We need junk.
1296
01:16:35,324 --> 01:16:39,796
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
I just work here.
1297
01:16:39,829 --> 01:16:42,198
I'm an American.
There. Take it.
1298
01:16:42,231 --> 01:16:43,633
[ Ding ]
Take it all.
1299
01:16:44,934 --> 01:16:49,038
Where is Candy?
Candy? Oh!
1300
01:16:49,072 --> 01:16:52,108
Right here.
Take as much as you want.
1301
01:16:55,378 --> 01:16:58,882
Thank you.
Thank you too much.
1302
01:16:59,716 --> 01:17:01,150
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1303
01:17:09,425 --> 01:17:10,426
Hey, troops!
1304
01:17:10,459 --> 01:17:12,696
Had to drain
the lizard!
1305
01:17:12,729 --> 01:17:14,397
Be right with you.
1306
01:17:18,802 --> 01:17:20,036
What do I
owe you?
1307
01:17:20,069 --> 01:17:21,671
Get down!
What?
1308
01:17:21,705 --> 01:17:23,339
Get down!
1309
01:17:25,341 --> 01:17:27,410
I was just held up.
1310
01:17:27,443 --> 01:17:29,112
They're out there.
They got guns!
1311
01:17:29,145 --> 01:17:30,213
Guns?
1312
01:17:30,246 --> 01:17:32,248
My buddies
are out there.
1313
01:17:49,065 --> 01:17:51,667
Where are they?
That green wreck.
1314
01:17:54,971 --> 01:17:57,741
Excuse me.
1315
01:17:57,774 --> 01:17:59,342
Could you back up?
1316
01:17:59,375 --> 01:18:05,281
I need to get
some unleaded.
1317
01:18:05,314 --> 01:18:06,049
Back up.
1318
01:18:06,082 --> 01:18:07,951
Back up.
1319
01:18:15,358 --> 01:18:17,827
[ Ding! Ding! ]
Aah!
1320
01:18:19,829 --> 01:18:22,231
That's my wagon!
1321
01:18:22,265 --> 01:18:23,466
Back up.
1322
01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:27,036
* Cosmic
1323
01:18:27,070 --> 01:18:29,438
* I was having
this out-of-body experience *
1324
01:18:29,472 --> 01:18:31,841
* Of all these
cosmic things *
1325
01:18:31,875 --> 01:18:34,310
* Everywhere
I went up there *
1326
01:18:34,343 --> 01:18:36,445
* They were shakin'
their cosmic things *
1327
01:18:36,479 --> 01:18:38,882
* Like someone gave you
a wild goose *
1328
01:18:38,915 --> 01:18:41,084
* Or a freight train
with a loose caboose *
1329
01:18:41,117 --> 01:18:42,451
* You better shake your
1330
01:18:42,485 --> 01:18:44,087
* Honey buns
1331
01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:45,822
* Shake your honey buns...
1332
01:18:45,855 --> 01:18:48,892
We are party Martians!
We are MTV scum!
1333
01:18:50,393 --> 01:18:52,829
* Shake
that cosmic thing *
1334
01:18:52,862 --> 01:18:53,797
* Shake that thing
1335
01:18:53,830 --> 01:18:54,463
* Shake it
1336
01:18:54,497 --> 01:18:57,967
* Shake
1337
01:18:58,001 --> 01:18:59,335
* Shake that thing
all night long *
1338
01:18:59,368 --> 01:19:02,038
* Shake it fast,
you can't go wrong *
1339
01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:04,407
* Don't let it rest
on the president's desk *
1340
01:19:04,440 --> 01:19:07,276
* Rock the house
1341
01:19:07,310 --> 01:19:08,411
* Cosmic
1342
01:19:08,444 --> 01:19:11,848
* Woo, cosmic
1343
01:19:11,881 --> 01:19:15,051
* Cosmic, woo...
Hey!
1344
01:19:15,084 --> 01:19:17,053
That looks great!
1345
01:19:17,086 --> 01:19:18,822
* Shake it
1346
01:19:18,855 --> 01:19:19,789
* Cosmic *
1347
01:19:22,125 --> 01:19:23,492
Hey, guys!
1348
01:19:23,526 --> 01:19:25,929
Brunch is ready.
Come and get it.
1349
01:19:25,962 --> 01:19:28,064
[ Telephone Rings ]
1350
01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:30,834
Hey, Valerie.
It's Woody.
1351
01:19:30,867 --> 01:19:31,868
Hi.
1352
01:19:31,901 --> 01:19:35,104
Listen, you know your friends?
Those Finland guys?
1353
01:19:35,138 --> 01:19:36,505
We were heading
to the beach--
1354
01:19:36,539 --> 01:19:39,242
What? They're gone?
They're with you?
1355
01:19:39,275 --> 01:19:41,010
No. They were.
1356
01:19:41,044 --> 01:19:44,147
They kind of robbed
the mini mart
when I wasn't lookin'.
1357
01:19:44,180 --> 01:19:46,149
Then they totaled
the gas station.
1358
01:19:46,182 --> 01:19:48,417
Then they ripped off
my van!
1359
01:19:48,451 --> 01:19:50,386
I don't belive this!
Where are you?
1360
01:19:50,419 --> 01:19:53,089
I'm at the mini mart
down the street.
1361
01:19:53,122 --> 01:19:54,858
Toys 'R' Us.
1362
01:19:54,891 --> 01:19:56,225
That's it?
1363
01:19:56,259 --> 01:19:57,994
You seen Zeebo
and Wiploc?
1364
01:19:58,027 --> 01:20:00,063
I got water
in here.
1365
01:20:00,096 --> 01:20:01,831
Maybe that's
one of them.
1366
01:20:01,865 --> 01:20:02,932
Sure?
1367
01:20:02,966 --> 01:20:04,533
Not really.
1368
01:20:04,567 --> 01:20:07,103
Good enough
for me.
1369
01:20:07,136 --> 01:20:09,839
So look--
Uh!
1370
01:20:09,873 --> 01:20:11,407
What's going on?
1371
01:20:11,440 --> 01:20:12,475
Woody!
1372
01:20:12,508 --> 01:20:14,343
What's happening?
1373
01:20:14,377 --> 01:20:15,945
I gotta go now,
Valerie.
1374
01:20:15,979 --> 01:20:18,214
I'm gettin'
my butt kicked.
1375
01:20:20,984 --> 01:20:26,355
* Well, if you plan
to motor West *
1376
01:20:28,424 --> 01:20:30,927
* Travel my way
1377
01:20:30,960 --> 01:20:34,130
* Take a highway
that's the best *
1378
01:20:36,365 --> 01:20:37,934
* And get your kicks
1379
01:20:37,967 --> 01:20:41,104
* On Route 66...
1380
01:20:41,137 --> 01:20:43,940
Aah!
1381
01:20:43,973 --> 01:20:45,541
* Well, it winds
1382
01:20:45,574 --> 01:20:48,611
* From Chicago to L.A.
1383
01:20:51,114 --> 01:20:54,283
* More than 2,000 miles
1384
01:20:54,317 --> 01:20:57,386
* All the way
1385
01:20:57,420 --> 01:20:59,555
* Get your kicks
1386
01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:02,491
* On Route 66
1387
01:21:02,525 --> 01:21:04,961
Wiploc!
1388
01:21:04,994 --> 01:21:06,229
* Well, it goes
to St. Louis *
1389
01:21:06,262 --> 01:21:09,365
* Down to Missouri
1390
01:21:09,398 --> 01:21:12,301
* Oklahoma City,
it's oh, so pretty *
1391
01:21:12,335 --> 01:21:14,403
* You'll see
1392
01:21:14,437 --> 01:21:16,205
* Amarillo
1393
01:21:16,239 --> 01:21:18,942
* Gallup, New Mexico
1394
01:21:18,975 --> 01:21:23,646
* Flagstaff, Arizona,
don't forget Winona *
1395
01:21:23,679 --> 01:21:27,083
* Kingman, Barstow,
San Bernadino *
1396
01:21:27,116 --> 01:21:32,288
* Won't you get hip
to this timely tip? *
1397
01:21:32,321 --> 01:21:34,057
Aah!
Aah!
1398
01:21:34,090 --> 01:21:39,262
* And you'll take
that California trip *
1399
01:21:39,295 --> 01:21:41,264
Oh!
Oh!
1400
01:21:41,297 --> 01:21:46,269
* Get your kicks
on Route 66 **
1401
01:21:46,302 --> 01:21:50,539
[ Sirens ]
1402
01:21:56,245 --> 01:21:58,081
You have the right
to remain silent.
1403
01:21:58,114 --> 01:22:01,484
Anything you say
can and will be used...
1404
01:22:01,517 --> 01:22:02,485
Hey!
1405
01:22:02,518 --> 01:22:04,620
Jail isn't so bad.
1406
01:22:04,653 --> 01:22:07,656
It's where I learned
how to surf.
1407
01:22:08,757 --> 01:22:11,494
He's dead meat.
You hang 10 now.
1408
01:22:11,527 --> 01:22:13,329
You've got to
believe me.
1409
01:22:13,362 --> 01:22:14,730
This is all
a misunderstanding.
1410
01:22:14,763 --> 01:22:16,199
Sorry.
1411
01:22:16,232 --> 01:22:17,600
Then arrest me.
1412
01:22:17,633 --> 01:22:18,601
Yeah.
1413
01:22:18,634 --> 01:22:20,636
Stay out of this,
flipper.
1414
01:22:20,669 --> 01:22:22,705
You didn't
do anything.
1415
01:22:26,609 --> 01:22:29,212
Hey, lady!
Don't do that!
1416
01:22:31,314 --> 01:22:33,116
Paramedic unit 104.
1417
01:22:33,149 --> 01:22:35,651
We picked up two victims
fitting the description
1418
01:22:35,684 --> 01:22:37,653
of the mini mart
robbery suspects.
1419
01:22:37,686 --> 01:22:39,622
Taking them to
Our Lady of the Valley
Hospital.
1420
01:22:39,655 --> 01:22:41,390
10-13. Copy.
1421
01:22:42,425 --> 01:22:44,193
That's Ted's hospital.
1422
01:22:44,227 --> 01:22:46,495
We have to get there.
1423
01:22:46,529 --> 01:22:50,633
Joe, take us
to hospital, please.
1424
01:22:50,666 --> 01:22:52,001
Hey, clown,
1425
01:22:52,035 --> 01:22:54,770
you're going to
the slammer.
1426
01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:56,539
We go
to slammer first.
1427
01:22:57,540 --> 01:22:59,575
Give them
that love touch,
1428
01:22:59,608 --> 01:23:02,178
then they'll
come on to me.
1429
01:23:02,211 --> 01:23:04,413
They'll be putty
in my hands.
1430
01:23:04,447 --> 01:23:06,249
You want sex
with Joe and Mike?
1431
01:23:06,282 --> 01:23:11,287
No. Just so we
can get away. Do it.
1432
01:23:19,262 --> 01:23:20,196
Hey!
1433
01:23:20,229 --> 01:23:22,531
How about
those Lakers, huh?
1434
01:23:25,201 --> 01:23:28,271
What about
those incredible
eyes of yours?
1435
01:23:29,572 --> 01:23:30,806
What?
1436
01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:33,276
They're just this far
1437
01:23:33,309 --> 01:23:36,079
from Liz Taylor
violet.
1438
01:23:45,421 --> 01:23:47,656
Oh, Michael!
1439
01:23:50,426 --> 01:23:52,661
Joseph.
1440
01:23:52,695 --> 01:23:54,763
Two new patients
in emergency...
1441
01:23:54,797 --> 01:23:57,400
Dr. Love.
1442
01:23:59,268 --> 01:24:02,605
* It's the summer
of love, love, love *
1443
01:24:02,638 --> 01:24:06,242
* I'm in love
with love, love, love *
1444
01:24:06,275 --> 01:24:10,446
* For everyone
transcends here *
1445
01:24:10,479 --> 01:24:13,549
* I'm thinking of you
1446
01:24:13,582 --> 01:24:15,551
* Boy *
1447
01:24:15,584 --> 01:24:18,287
Bye, you guys.
Thanks for the lift.
1448
01:24:18,321 --> 01:24:20,123
I hope things
work out.
1449
01:24:20,156 --> 01:24:21,357
Bye.
1450
01:24:21,390 --> 01:24:23,259
Happy house hunting.
Ciao.
1451
01:24:23,292 --> 01:24:24,860
Thank you
very much.
1452
01:24:24,893 --> 01:24:28,664
They're such
a nice couple.
1453
01:24:28,697 --> 01:24:30,399
Bye.
Bye.
1454
01:24:30,433 --> 01:24:34,537
Totally cool, Tim.
1455
01:24:34,570 --> 01:24:37,540
Ride cool rips
all the way in.
1456
01:24:38,841 --> 01:24:41,710
Great.
You two.
1457
01:24:41,744 --> 01:24:42,678
Hi, Dr. Dude.
1458
01:24:42,711 --> 01:24:44,780
The party's over.
Settle down.
1459
01:24:44,813 --> 01:24:47,116
Take us
to Valerie's house.
1460
01:24:47,150 --> 01:24:50,819
You're not setting foot
in my house again.
1461
01:24:51,854 --> 01:24:54,123
We're looking
for two patients
1462
01:24:54,157 --> 01:24:56,459
who were
just admitted.
1463
01:24:56,492 --> 01:24:59,128
That's kind of
a nasty bump.
1464
01:24:59,162 --> 01:25:00,129
Does this hurt?
1465
01:25:00,163 --> 01:25:01,697
Aah!
1466
01:25:01,730 --> 01:25:02,565
Good.
1467
01:25:02,598 --> 01:25:05,468
Let's just have
a listen here, shall we?
1468
01:25:05,501 --> 01:25:07,636
Surf's up.
Surf's up.
1469
01:25:07,670 --> 01:25:10,539
Leave it alone.
1470
01:25:10,573 --> 01:25:12,541
Breathe.
1471
01:25:12,575 --> 01:25:13,509
[ Thump Thump ]
[ Thump Thump ]
1472
01:25:13,542 --> 01:25:17,280
Again.
1473
01:25:17,313 --> 01:25:19,682
Wait a second.
Breathe.
1474
01:25:20,449 --> 01:25:22,685
Breathe.
Breathe.
1475
01:25:23,686 --> 01:25:25,654
It's incredible.
1476
01:25:26,689 --> 01:25:28,724
It's amazing.
1477
01:25:28,757 --> 01:25:30,493
You each...
1478
01:25:30,526 --> 01:25:32,661
have two heartbeats.
1479
01:25:32,695 --> 01:25:34,597
Wiploc and Zeebo?
1480
01:25:34,630 --> 01:25:36,932
What are
their last names?
1481
01:25:36,965 --> 01:25:38,801
They don't have
last names.
1482
01:25:38,834 --> 01:25:40,536
They're performers
like...Cher.
1483
01:25:40,569 --> 01:25:42,871
Oh!
1484
01:25:42,905 --> 01:25:45,474
Yes. They're in
the emergency room
1485
01:25:45,508 --> 01:25:47,476
being examined
by Dr. Gallagher.
1486
01:25:47,510 --> 01:25:49,578
Oh! He'll
dissect them.
1487
01:25:51,580 --> 01:25:53,516
You can't go in there.
1488
01:25:53,549 --> 01:25:56,352
Medical personnel only.
1489
01:25:56,385 --> 01:25:57,653
We've got to
get in there.
1490
01:25:59,955 --> 01:26:01,690
I have an idea,
but it means
1491
01:26:01,724 --> 01:26:04,827
doing something terrible
to an innocent person.
1492
01:26:04,860 --> 01:26:06,529
Let's do it.
1493
01:26:09,698 --> 01:26:11,834
Which floor?
1494
01:26:11,867 --> 01:26:13,402
Two, please.
1495
01:26:13,436 --> 01:26:16,539
I think I'm going to
enjoy this.
1496
01:26:20,443 --> 01:26:22,445
Feel this?
It's a gun.
1497
01:26:22,478 --> 01:26:23,446
What--
1498
01:26:23,479 --> 01:26:25,314
Shut up. Walk.
1499
01:26:26,449 --> 01:26:28,717
Come in here.
1500
01:26:28,751 --> 01:26:31,420
Help. She's got
a gun.
1501
01:26:31,454 --> 01:26:33,422
Take off
your uniform.
1502
01:26:33,456 --> 01:26:34,457
What?
1503
01:26:34,490 --> 01:26:36,425
Take it off!
Quick!
1504
01:26:37,526 --> 01:26:40,363
I know you.
You're Ted's girlfriend.
1505
01:26:40,396 --> 01:26:41,129
Strip.
1506
01:26:41,163 --> 01:26:43,266
I don't want any part
of you, Ted,
1507
01:26:43,299 --> 01:26:45,000
or your kinky
sex trips.
1508
01:26:45,033 --> 01:26:46,569
Strip!
1509
01:26:46,602 --> 01:26:47,836
She said strip.
1510
01:26:51,974 --> 01:26:54,677
The call button.
Push the call button.
1511
01:26:54,710 --> 01:26:55,411
Nuh-uh.
1512
01:26:55,444 --> 01:26:57,680
You'll go to prison
for this...
1513
01:26:57,713 --> 01:26:58,481
Excuse me.
1514
01:26:58,514 --> 01:27:00,883
For molesting me,
for having a gun--
1515
01:27:00,916 --> 01:27:03,686
It's not real.
1516
01:27:12,428 --> 01:27:14,397
Your heart...
Excuse me, Doctor.
1517
01:27:14,430 --> 01:27:17,866
This doctor's
here to pick up
these patients.
1518
01:27:17,900 --> 01:27:18,934
These guys aren't
going anywhere.
1519
01:27:18,967 --> 01:27:21,570
I'm admitting them
for observation under my care.
1520
01:27:21,604 --> 01:27:23,372
They seem OK
to me.
1521
01:27:23,406 --> 01:27:25,374
Nurse, listen
to their hearts,
1522
01:27:25,408 --> 01:27:27,710
and tell me what
you hear.
1523
01:27:28,777 --> 01:27:30,746
* Cover of
Time Magazine *
1524
01:27:30,779 --> 01:27:32,815
* Man of the year
1525
01:27:32,848 --> 01:27:36,319
* Yes, I'll be
rich and famous **
1526
01:27:36,352 --> 01:27:37,286
I'll be on
the Tod show.
1527
01:27:37,320 --> 01:27:39,555
Shh, Zeebo.
It's me.
1528
01:27:39,588 --> 01:27:41,490
He sounds
perfectly normal
to me, Doctor.
1529
01:27:41,524 --> 01:27:43,426
Oh, no.
That's impossible.
1530
01:27:43,459 --> 01:27:46,295
They each have
two distinct heartbeats.
1531
01:27:46,329 --> 01:27:47,963
Try me, Doctor.
1532
01:27:47,996 --> 01:27:49,698
Yes.
I could try you.
1533
01:27:50,899 --> 01:27:52,701
[ Heartbeat Sound ]
1534
01:27:56,672 --> 01:27:58,741
Oh, my God!
1535
01:27:58,774 --> 01:27:59,708
You, too.
1536
01:28:00,743 --> 01:28:02,845
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
1537
01:28:04,980 --> 01:28:07,950
[ Beep! Beep!
Beep! Beep! ]
1538
01:28:07,983 --> 01:28:09,452
It's my beeper!
1539
01:28:09,485 --> 01:28:12,421
No. My beeper's never
done this before.
1540
01:28:12,455 --> 01:28:14,323
[ Ring ]
Get the phone.
1541
01:28:14,357 --> 01:28:15,458
What phone,
doctor?
1542
01:28:18,594 --> 01:28:19,962
Hello?
1543
01:28:19,995 --> 01:28:23,098
Doctor, I'm afraid
you must be
hearing things.
1544
01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:24,400
[ Ruff Ruff Ruff ]
1545
01:28:25,601 --> 01:28:27,870
Yodel-aydi...
[ Neigh ]
1546
01:28:27,903 --> 01:28:29,104
Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
1547
01:28:29,137 --> 01:28:30,973
Is there something
wrong, Doctor?
1548
01:28:31,006 --> 01:28:33,776
Oh, hello, Doctor.
Should I call you
a doctor, Doctor?
1549
01:28:33,809 --> 01:28:36,779
Make it stop!
1550
01:28:36,812 --> 01:28:41,350
I can't stand it.
[ Ring ]
1551
01:28:41,384 --> 01:28:43,452
[ Thud, Ring ]
1552
01:28:43,486 --> 01:28:45,588
[ Thud, Ring ]
1553
01:28:45,621 --> 01:28:46,922
[ Thud, Thud ]
1554
01:28:46,955 --> 01:28:47,756
[ Thud, Thud ]
1555
01:28:47,790 --> 01:28:49,925
[ Thud, Thud ]
1556
01:28:50,959 --> 01:28:53,362
You guys,
you came this close
1557
01:28:53,396 --> 01:28:55,731
to being
a science project.
1558
01:28:55,764 --> 01:28:56,965
Come on.
1559
01:28:56,999 --> 01:28:58,767
Ted's car! Follow me.
1560
01:29:01,136 --> 01:29:03,739
Quick! Get in quick!
1561
01:29:03,772 --> 01:29:07,109
Oh! Oh, God!
Here comes Ted!
1562
01:29:07,142 --> 01:29:08,611
Hide!
Get down and hide.
1563
01:29:12,948 --> 01:29:14,149
Valerie?
1564
01:29:14,182 --> 01:29:16,118
Sweetheart, I'm
so glad to see you.
1565
01:29:16,151 --> 01:29:17,620
Can we go home?
1566
01:29:17,653 --> 01:29:21,390
These last two days
have been hell.
1567
01:29:21,424 --> 01:29:24,460
Sweetheart, I actually think
I've been hearing things.
1568
01:29:24,493 --> 01:29:26,629
Oh, Val,
could you drive?
1569
01:29:26,662 --> 01:29:27,796
Please, Valerie.
1570
01:29:27,830 --> 01:29:29,898
OK, Ted.
Here.
1571
01:29:29,932 --> 01:29:31,500
Get in, honey.
1572
01:29:31,534 --> 01:29:33,436
I'm exhausted.
1573
01:29:33,469 --> 01:29:35,838
I thought
about what you said.
1574
01:29:35,871 --> 01:29:38,641
I've decided
to do something impulsive.
1575
01:29:38,674 --> 01:29:40,743
Let's go to Vegas tonight
and get married.
1576
01:29:40,776 --> 01:29:42,478
Tonight?
1577
01:29:42,511 --> 01:29:45,714
What about the church
and my dress?
1578
01:29:45,748 --> 01:29:48,917
We can do the big
church wedding later.
1579
01:29:48,951 --> 01:29:50,853
Well...
1580
01:29:50,886 --> 01:29:52,888
what do you say?
1581
01:29:52,921 --> 01:29:55,791
I don't know...
I'm just so surprised.
1582
01:29:55,824 --> 01:29:57,760
Come on.
You wanted surprises.
1583
01:29:59,562 --> 01:30:01,129
Ted.
1584
01:30:01,163 --> 01:30:05,033
[ Love Story Theme Plays ]
1585
01:30:22,150 --> 01:30:24,119
You got to bring
1586
01:30:24,152 --> 01:30:26,121
that one-piece
night thing,
1587
01:30:26,154 --> 01:30:27,723
that, uh, corset
1588
01:30:27,756 --> 01:30:30,092
that looks
like underwear.
1589
01:30:39,067 --> 01:30:42,871
What is it now?
Something old...
1590
01:30:42,905 --> 01:30:45,107
Oh! These pantyhose
are old.
1591
01:30:45,140 --> 01:30:47,142
Something new.
1592
01:30:47,175 --> 01:30:49,578
This veil is new.
1593
01:30:51,213 --> 01:30:52,715
Dr. Tushman, please.
1594
01:30:54,783 --> 01:30:56,485
Hey, Barbara, Ted here.
1595
01:30:56,519 --> 01:30:59,254
Listen, uh, I need
a really big favor.
1596
01:30:59,287 --> 01:31:00,889
I want you
to cover my shift
1597
01:31:00,923 --> 01:31:04,660
at the hospital tomorrow.
I'm going to Vegas.
1598
01:31:04,693 --> 01:31:06,662
Well, I'm going to...
1599
01:31:06,695 --> 01:31:09,698
lose a little money,
take in a show,
1600
01:31:09,732 --> 01:31:11,099
and get married.
1601
01:31:11,133 --> 01:31:15,771
Barbara.
Barbara--
1602
01:31:15,804 --> 01:31:18,106
Look, just because
I'm getting married
1603
01:31:18,140 --> 01:31:21,076
doesn't mean we can't date,
all right?
1604
01:31:21,109 --> 01:31:22,911
What?
1605
01:31:30,018 --> 01:31:31,253
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1606
01:31:35,123 --> 01:31:36,491
Valerie.
1607
01:31:37,993 --> 01:31:39,862
Good-bye.
Bye.
1608
01:31:39,895 --> 01:31:43,566
Nice planet
you have here.
Give Tanya my number.
1609
01:31:43,599 --> 01:31:46,535
Take care, Zeebo.
1610
01:31:47,603 --> 01:31:48,871
Aw, Wiploc.
1611
01:31:48,904 --> 01:31:51,139
I think I'll miss you
least of all.
1612
01:31:51,173 --> 01:31:53,141
You got liplock
for Wiploc?
1613
01:31:55,077 --> 01:31:58,013
Valerie...
1614
01:31:58,046 --> 01:32:00,215
I don't know
the words.
1615
01:32:00,248 --> 01:32:01,183
Oh, Mac.
1616
01:32:01,216 --> 01:32:04,953
I'm going to
miss you so much.
1617
01:32:04,987 --> 01:32:07,255
I'll miss you, too.
1618
01:32:07,289 --> 01:32:10,258
Sweetheart, I booked
the Cave Man Suite
at Cupid's Lodge.
1619
01:32:15,230 --> 01:32:18,000
What the hell
is this?
1620
01:32:18,033 --> 01:32:21,670
OK, Ted,
they're not a band.
1621
01:32:21,704 --> 01:32:23,806
They're from
another planet.
1622
01:32:23,839 --> 01:32:26,709
Go back in the house.
I'll be in soon.
1623
01:32:26,742 --> 01:32:29,144
Oh, my God!
They're aliens.
1624
01:32:29,177 --> 01:32:31,246
Aliens!
Got you covered.
1625
01:32:31,279 --> 01:32:34,817
It's OK.
Ted. Ted. It's OK.
1626
01:32:36,251 --> 01:32:37,720
You're contaminated.
1627
01:32:39,955 --> 01:32:40,923
I--I have
to go now.
1628
01:32:40,956 --> 01:32:43,726
Ted!
I'll call the police.
1629
01:32:43,759 --> 01:32:45,828
I gotta go.
Stop it.
1630
01:32:54,102 --> 01:32:55,270
Good-bye, Valerie.
1631
01:33:13,856 --> 01:33:15,858
Mac!
1632
01:33:15,891 --> 01:33:18,694
It didn't work!
1633
01:33:18,727 --> 01:33:19,828
Mac!
1634
01:33:19,862 --> 01:33:22,164
I have to tell you
something.
1635
01:33:22,197 --> 01:33:24,767
I love you!
Take me with you!
1636
01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:26,735
To Jhazalla?
1637
01:33:26,769 --> 01:33:28,370
Anyplace!
1638
01:33:28,403 --> 01:33:30,639
I am Mr. Right?
1639
01:33:30,673 --> 01:33:32,941
Yes!
Yes!
1640
01:33:39,081 --> 01:33:41,650
Well, uh...
good-bye, Ted.
1641
01:33:41,684 --> 01:33:44,052
Um, I guess
it wasn't meant to be,
1642
01:33:44,086 --> 01:33:46,955
but, uh, I really
want to thank you
1643
01:33:46,989 --> 01:33:50,826
for, um...thanks
for the, uh...
1644
01:33:51,860 --> 01:33:54,296
Good-bye, Ted.
1645
01:33:59,467 --> 01:34:00,736
Mac!
1646
01:34:15,217 --> 01:34:16,218
Mac!
1647
01:34:18,821 --> 01:34:22,090
Wait, you guys!
You can't leave
without Margaritas!
1648
01:34:29,998 --> 01:34:33,168
Valerie,
what are you doing?
1649
01:34:34,102 --> 01:34:36,071
Good-bye, Candy.
I'll miss you.
1650
01:34:36,104 --> 01:34:38,974
Well, good luck, Val.
1651
01:34:39,007 --> 01:34:40,876
Call me.
1652
01:34:44,079 --> 01:34:45,914
[ Meow ]
1653
01:34:45,948 --> 01:34:47,983
Happy trails.
1654
01:34:50,418 --> 01:34:53,488
[ Meow ]
Bambi, I never knew.
1655
01:34:53,521 --> 01:34:55,023
Wait!
1656
01:35:01,496 --> 01:35:04,166
Hey!
1657
01:35:04,199 --> 01:35:06,869
Give my love
to Finland!
1658
01:35:18,046 --> 01:35:21,116
Oh! Oh! Ha ha ha!
1659
01:35:47,843 --> 01:35:50,846
* People all over
the world *
1660
01:35:50,879 --> 01:35:52,380
* Join hands
1661
01:35:52,414 --> 01:35:55,083
* Start a love train,
love train *
1662
01:35:55,117 --> 01:35:57,052
* People all
over the world *
1663
01:35:57,085 --> 01:35:59,054
* All over the world,
join hands *
1664
01:35:59,087 --> 01:36:01,089
* Start a love train
1665
01:36:01,123 --> 01:36:04,426
* Love train, love train
1666
01:36:04,459 --> 01:36:07,863
* First stop
that we'll make *
1667
01:36:07,896 --> 01:36:10,165
* Will be England
1668
01:36:12,300 --> 01:36:14,236
* Tell all the folks
in Russia *
1669
01:36:14,269 --> 01:36:17,039
* And China, too
1670
01:36:17,072 --> 01:36:19,407
* Get on board
1671
01:36:19,441 --> 01:36:22,110
* Don't you know
1672
01:36:22,144 --> 01:36:24,146
* It's time
to get on board *
1673
01:36:24,179 --> 01:36:26,214
* Time to get on board
1674
01:36:26,248 --> 01:36:30,085
* Let the train
keep on ridin' *
1675
01:36:30,118 --> 01:36:32,220
* Ridin' on through
1676
01:36:32,254 --> 01:36:35,223
* Ridin' on through
1677
01:36:35,257 --> 01:36:37,525
* People all over
the world *
1678
01:36:37,559 --> 01:36:38,526
* Join hands
1679
01:36:38,560 --> 01:36:39,828
* Join your hands
1680
01:36:39,862 --> 01:36:40,829
* And start a love train
1681
01:36:40,863 --> 01:36:41,830
* And start a love train
1682
01:36:41,864 --> 01:36:43,031
* Love train
1683
01:36:43,065 --> 01:36:45,467
* People all over
the world *
1684
01:36:45,500 --> 01:36:46,468
* Join hands
1685
01:36:46,501 --> 01:36:47,469
* Everybody
1686
01:36:47,502 --> 01:36:48,470
* Get on the love train
1687
01:36:48,503 --> 01:36:49,938
* Get on the love train
1688
01:36:49,972 --> 01:36:51,173
* Love train
1689
01:36:51,206 --> 01:36:54,409
* All of your brothers
1690
01:36:54,442 --> 01:36:56,211
* Over in Africa
1691
01:36:56,244 --> 01:36:57,279
* Come on now, people
1692
01:36:58,513 --> 01:37:01,449
* Tell all the folks
in Egypt *
1693
01:37:01,483 --> 01:37:04,252
* And Israel, too
1694
01:37:05,620 --> 01:37:10,092
* Please don't miss
this train *
1695
01:37:10,125 --> 01:37:12,160
* At the station
1696
01:37:13,195 --> 01:37:15,497
* 'Cause if you miss it
1697
01:37:15,530 --> 01:37:20,068
* I feel sorry,
sorry for you *
1698
01:37:20,102 --> 01:37:22,370
* Sorry, oh, for you
1699
01:37:22,404 --> 01:37:25,173
* People all over
the world *
1700
01:37:25,207 --> 01:37:26,408
* Join hands
1701
01:37:26,441 --> 01:37:28,476
* Start a love train
1702
01:37:28,510 --> 01:37:29,611
* Love train
1703
01:37:29,644 --> 01:37:31,346
* Start a love train
1704
01:37:31,379 --> 01:37:33,081
* Sisters and brothers
1705
01:37:33,115 --> 01:37:34,249
* Join hands
1706
01:37:34,282 --> 01:37:35,483
* Come on
1707
01:37:35,517 --> 01:37:37,252
* Start the love train
1708
01:37:37,285 --> 01:37:41,356
* Get on board
1709
01:37:51,967 --> 01:37:54,202
* Well, yeah
1710
01:37:54,236 --> 01:37:56,204
* People all over
the world *
1711
01:37:56,238 --> 01:37:57,239
* Join hands
1712
01:37:57,272 --> 01:37:58,273
* Join your hands
1713
01:37:58,306 --> 01:37:59,274
* And start a love train
1714
01:37:59,307 --> 01:38:00,442
* And start a love train
1715
01:38:00,475 --> 01:38:01,509
* Love train
1716
01:38:01,543 --> 01:38:04,146
* People all over
the world *
1717
01:38:04,179 --> 01:38:05,113
* Join hands
1718
01:38:05,147 --> 01:38:06,114
* Everybody
1719
01:38:06,148 --> 01:38:07,115
* Get on the love train
1720
01:38:07,149 --> 01:38:08,150
* Get on the love train
1721
01:38:08,183 --> 01:38:09,117
* Love train
1722
01:38:09,151 --> 01:38:10,352
* Hey
1723
01:38:10,385 --> 01:38:13,555
* First stop
that we'll make *
1724
01:38:13,588 --> 01:38:15,991
* Will be England
1725
01:38:18,293 --> 01:38:20,262
* Tell all the folks
in Russia *
1726
01:38:20,295 --> 01:38:22,664
* And China, too
1727
01:38:22,697 --> 01:38:25,200
* Get on board
1728
01:38:25,233 --> 01:38:27,702
* Don't you know
1729
01:38:27,735 --> 01:38:30,272
* It's time
to get on board *
1730
01:38:30,305 --> 01:38:31,974
* It's time
to get on board *
1731
01:38:32,007 --> 01:38:35,643
* And let this train
keep on ridin' *
1732
01:38:35,677 --> 01:38:38,146
* Ridin' on through
1733
01:38:38,180 --> 01:38:40,648
* Ridin' on through
1734
01:38:40,682 --> 01:38:43,451
* People all over
the world *
1735
01:38:43,485 --> 01:38:44,419
* Join hands
1736
01:38:44,452 --> 01:38:45,453
* Everybody
1737
01:38:45,487 --> 01:38:46,488
* And start a love train
1738
01:38:46,521 --> 01:38:47,522
* Join the love train
1739
01:38:47,555 --> 01:38:48,623
* Love train
1740
01:38:48,656 --> 01:38:51,093
* Come on, come on,
come on, come on *
1741
01:38:51,126 --> 01:38:52,327
* Join hands
1742
01:38:52,360 --> 01:38:53,395
* Everybody
1743
01:38:53,428 --> 01:38:54,963
* Get on the love train
1744
01:38:54,997 --> 01:38:56,164
* Yeah
1745
01:38:56,198 --> 01:39:00,068
* Get on board
1746
01:39:00,102 --> 01:39:02,537
* Get on board
1747
01:39:02,570 --> 01:39:04,306
* Get on board
1748
01:39:04,339 --> 01:39:07,409
* Get on board
1749
01:39:07,442 --> 01:39:08,510
* Hey
1750
01:39:08,543 --> 01:39:10,712
* Get on board
1751
01:39:10,745 --> 01:39:13,348
* Well, yeah
1752
01:39:13,381 --> 01:39:16,618
* New York,
are you in the house? *
1753
01:39:16,651 --> 01:39:20,755
* L.A., are you
in the house? *
1754
01:39:20,788 --> 01:39:24,059
* Motor city,
are you in the house? *
1755
01:39:24,092 --> 01:39:25,060
* Everybody
1756
01:39:25,093 --> 01:39:27,495
* Miami,
are you in the house? *
1757
01:39:27,529 --> 01:39:29,697
* Start a love train
1758
01:39:29,731 --> 01:39:32,067
* All over the world
join hands *
1759
01:39:32,100 --> 01:39:33,035
* Get on
1760
01:39:33,068 --> 01:39:34,102
* Atlanta
1761
01:39:34,136 --> 01:39:35,670
* Get on the love train
1762
01:39:35,703 --> 01:39:37,272
* D.C.
1763
01:39:37,305 --> 01:39:38,640
* All over the world
1764
01:39:38,673 --> 01:39:39,641
* Join hands
1765
01:39:39,674 --> 01:39:40,708
* Everybody
1766
01:39:40,742 --> 01:39:43,011
* Everybody
get on the love train *
1767
01:39:43,045 --> 01:39:44,512
* Get on the love train
1768
01:39:44,546 --> 01:39:46,614
* People all over
the world *
1769
01:39:46,648 --> 01:39:47,782
* Join hands
1770
01:39:47,815 --> 01:39:51,453
* And start a love train,
love train *
1771
01:39:51,486 --> 01:39:52,654
* Everybody
1772
01:39:52,687 --> 01:39:54,489
* People all over
the world *
1773
01:39:54,522 --> 01:39:56,358
* Come on, come on,
come on, come on *
1774
01:39:56,391 --> 01:39:57,625
* Get on the love train
1775
01:39:57,659 --> 01:39:58,693
* Love train
1776
01:39:58,726 --> 01:40:00,162
* Come on, people, now
1777
01:40:00,195 --> 01:40:02,130
* People all over
the world *
1778
01:40:02,164 --> 01:40:04,099
* Join hands
1779
01:40:04,132 --> 01:40:07,135
* And start a love train,
love train *
1780
01:40:07,169 --> 01:40:08,436
* All over the world
1781
01:40:08,470 --> 01:40:10,105
* People all over
the world *
1782
01:40:10,138 --> 01:40:11,139
* Join hands
1783
01:40:11,173 --> 01:40:13,675
* Come on, boys and girls,
join the love train *
1784
01:40:13,708 --> 01:40:14,742
* Love train
1785
01:40:14,776 --> 01:40:16,111
* Don't need no ticket *
109168
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