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The following programme contains
strong language and adult humour
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from the outset and throughout.
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You must've known you were
destined to end up here, right? Me?
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00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,960
I always knew this day would come.
But I must admit,
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I didn't think it would be
on the scale of this.
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I didn't think you had it in you.
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Looking at you now, I take no pleasure
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00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:40,620
in seeing you this vulnerable.
I really don't.
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00:00:41,700 --> 00:00:46,080
I want to be a friend to you. And you're
going to need a friend like me.
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00:00:47,279 --> 00:00:49,399
But for me to be your friend,
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I'm going to need something in return.
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00:00:53,860 --> 00:00:57,120
This is Detective Carl Slater
of Hawley CID.
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Interview with Erin Croft
at 10.05 a.m. on 11th November.
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00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:06,720
♪ FLYING LIZARDS: Money
♪ The best things in life are free
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♪ But you can give them
to the birds and bees... ♪
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(SIGHS)
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- Y’alright?
- (VINNIE) 'Yeah, we're doing good.'
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00:01:15,572 --> 00:01:18,560
'We're having a good time, aren’t we?
Are you having a good time?'
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Oh, I'm having such a laugh.
Sugar and Carol are on form tonight.
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'(CHUCKLES)' Is Tyler still up?
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00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:28,360
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're outside the
shack, having a bit of a fire, aren’t we?
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Aw, go on, put him on the phone
so I can say 'night to him.
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00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:31,679
- 'Here.'
- 'Hiyah, Mum.'
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00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:33,624
'OK? Is Vin...?'
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Is your dad looking after you alright?
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00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,600
Yeah, fine.
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00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,326
Alright, well, I just wanted to say
'night-night, I love you.
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00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:41,056
Love you too.
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00:01:41,080 --> 00:01:42,800
Alright, darling,
'night-night. Love you.
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00:01:42,825 --> 00:01:45,985
'Have a good time now. Just enjoy
yourself.' You don’t have to rush back.
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00:01:46,064 --> 00:01:47,919
- Planning a party or something?
- 'No...
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00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,199
no, we're having an early night
tonight, aren’t we?
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Just take your time, enjoy yourself.
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00:01:52,600 --> 00:01:55,200
- Alright, then. 'Bye-bye.
- 'Bye, love.'
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00:01:57,360 --> 00:02:01,120
Where are we going, then?
Glad you asked. It's a surprise.
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00:02:01,211 --> 00:02:04,159
My dad took me when I was little.
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00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,800
And his dad took him
when he was little.
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00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,640
- We are going...
- Sheep rustling!
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00:02:08,664 --> 00:02:10,176
God, dude!
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00:02:10,207 --> 00:02:12,767
- I was going to say that bit!
- Well, go on then.
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00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,079
Sheep rust... Sheep rustl...
You've said it now...
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00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,707
- It's bloody ruined.
- Sheep wrestling?
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00:02:17,731 --> 00:02:20,080
Not wrestling sheep, rustling.
44
00:02:20,175 --> 00:02:23,240
It’s like when you round up sheep,
like what cowboys do,
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00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:25,319
but with sheep, not cows.
46
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:30,245
- So we're not cowboys, then?
- No, cowboys are useless, they're lame.
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00:02:30,270 --> 00:02:34,280
- We're sheepboys, brethren. Woo-hoo!
- Sheepboys!
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00:02:39,135 --> 00:02:42,215
I'm starving and I've had about 12
vodkas. Come on.(PHONE RINGING)
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00:02:42,240 --> 00:02:43,000
Hello?
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00:02:43,024 --> 00:02:45,119
(MAN)'Good evening Miss Croft,
this is Tuma
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00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:47,000
calling from your alarm company.'
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00:02:47,024 --> 00:02:48,807
- Who?
- 'Tuma.'
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00:02:48,832 --> 00:02:51,377
Wrong person, mate,
I haven’t got an alarm.
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Oh, hang on.
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00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:56,440
♪ MABLE JOHN: Your Good Thing
(Is About To End)
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I had it all.
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00:03:01,260 --> 00:03:05,460
Fucking Stringfellow level of success.
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Top of the world. (SNIFFS)
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Then she came along. She swooped down,
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00:03:14,620 --> 00:03:18,000
with her nasty acrylic talons
and she dug 'em in. ♪ (SONG FADES)
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00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:21,360
She dug 'em into this empire
which I raised from the dirt
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and she fucking tore the arse
right out of my heart.
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00:03:25,860 --> 00:03:28,959
- Oh dear.
- Oh, shock, he's here again.
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00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:32,679
- Ah, Miss Croft.
- Yeah. What's he... what are doing here?
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- It’s my fucking club.
- No, it’s not.
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00:03:34,641 --> 00:03:37,455
It seems, although the
emergency contact details
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00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:38,879
have been updated with your number,
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00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,040
Mr Tom is still on the system too.
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00:03:42,712 --> 00:03:44,260
Alright, so what’s the score?
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As you can see, the safe...
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00:03:49,191 --> 00:03:50,695
is no longer here.
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Holy fucking shit!
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Fuck! Shit! Shit!
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00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,640
Fuck! Fuck!
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00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,559
This is you, this, isn’t it?
This is you!
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00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,080
I’ve been in the pub all night. Why
would I steal the safe from me own club?
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00:04:05,104 --> 00:04:06,759
Cos it’s not your club anymore
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00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,520
and you’re a spiteful,
vindictive little shit!
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00:04:09,544 --> 00:04:11,056
Perhaps we should call the police.
80
00:04:11,080 --> 00:04:13,040
No. No police.
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00:04:14,460 --> 00:04:17,760
The interesting thing is that
whoever came in,
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00:04:18,260 --> 00:04:19,740
had keys.
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00:04:22,295 --> 00:04:23,895
Weren't fucking me!
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00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:27,759
This guy is clearly
the brains of the operation.
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00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:31,519
He’s wearing the quality tights,
obviously a high denier,
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00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:34,959
anything below a 40 denier
and you’re risking being recognised.
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00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:38,399
I’d say these are an 80, maybe 100.
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00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:42,800
However, his friend isn’t as clever,
in fact I’d go as far as to say
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00:04:42,847 --> 00:04:44,733
he has a brain deficiency,
because he’s chosen to wear
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00:04:44,757 --> 00:04:46,680
fishnet stockings over his head.
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00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:50,200
Fucking hell.
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00:04:50,860 --> 00:04:52,920
- Ronnie.
- On the telly?!
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00:04:53,740 --> 00:04:56,260
Ronnie? Your Ronnie?
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00:04:56,480 --> 00:05:00,079
I told you it weren’t me.
Told you. It's your fucking Ronnie.
95
00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:03,599
- Do you know this person?
- That there is her brother.
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00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:05,840
♪ UNLOVED: Love
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00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:06,880
Oh dear.
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00:05:07,794 --> 00:05:08,765
Ronnie!
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00:05:10,647 --> 00:05:12,360
- Ronnie!
- Erin.
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00:05:14,220 --> 00:05:17,759
I can see the curtains twitching,
you stupid twat!
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00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:21,399
Get down here now
and open the fucking door!
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00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,280
Here we are. Oh, fuck!
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00:05:24,787 --> 00:05:26,840
Ronnie? ♪ (MUSIC CONTINUING)
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00:05:28,940 --> 00:05:31,919
Get the fuck up! You shitbag.
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00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:36,080
You went ABOVE my dick. Right up.
Don't do that, OK?
106
00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,959
- It wasn’t me. I was set up.
- What wasn’t you, Ronnie?
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00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:42,400
- Ah... Good work, Columbo.
- Where’s the fucking safe?
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00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:47,163
Sorry, it’s just, erm... I was
forced into it.
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00:05:47,577 --> 00:05:50,580
He said, you’ll do it
otherwise I will hurt your sister.
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00:05:51,220 --> 00:05:55,199
I said no! I said, no,
I don’t want to do that!
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00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:59,180
But he forced me... And I said,
I just want to be good.
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00:05:59,500 --> 00:06:03,599
And do things that’s legal.
And all I said was... Oh!
113
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:06,799
Who? Fuck! Who... are
you talking about?
114
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,800
- It’s Keithy, OK?
- Who?
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00:06:08,825 --> 00:06:12,439
Keithy McBride. The Special K. The
Big Mac. McDaddy. Mac and cheese. No?
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00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:15,759
We were cellmates in Grantham
for bar time.
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00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,495
The next thing you know,
we started overtaking the joint.
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00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,239
Special K and the Ronnie C
going live and loud.
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00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,855
And large. Just running
every little gaff,
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00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,735
every little set-up,
every little scam, every little scheme.
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00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,400
We were like, right let’s get out there.
We became partners...
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00:06:29,424 --> 00:06:31,752
I fucking tell you, Erin,
he is good at stuff.
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00:06:31,777 --> 00:06:33,919
- I want that safe.
- OK. Alright.
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00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,961
- I get it. I'll get it for ya.
- I'm being serious.
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00:06:35,986 --> 00:06:37,096
I promise I’ll get it for yer,
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00:06:37,120 --> 00:06:40,519
it’s just gonna have to be in the morning.
For fuck's sake... It's just, time-wise,
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00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:44,935
- getting over there...
- No. No. Not tomorrow. Now!
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00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:48,360
- Where the fuck do we find him?
- He’s like a fucking master criminal.
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00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:52,520
He just... he just moves like that,
like a ghoul.
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00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:55,439
Like a fucking spectre.
And the next thing you know,
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he does a job and like a fucking puff
of smoke, mate, he is just gone.
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00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,840
And he is right into the
fucking clouds or something.
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00:07:00,865 --> 00:07:03,199
Then it starts raining,
you're like, is that fucking Keithy?
134
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:06,568
Where the fuck do I find him, eh?
Tell me!
135
00:07:06,593 --> 00:07:08,640
Alright, Erin, I’ll tell yer.
I’ll tell yer.
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00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:13,380
Mr McBride? Mr Keith McBride?
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00:07:14,004 --> 00:07:15,820
It’s Hawley Police here, sir.
138
00:07:15,927 --> 00:07:18,199
I’m afraid a vehicle
has collided with yours
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00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:21,780
on Mayfield Street. We have
an officer down there at the moment.
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00:07:21,805 --> 00:07:22,840
Yeah.
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00:07:29,407 --> 00:07:32,239
- Keithy?
- Who’s asking?
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00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,719
- Where’s the fucking cops?
- My name is Erin,
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00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:39,559
I’m Ronnie Croft’s sister. The safe
that you stole belonged to me.
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00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,398
Eh? I don’t know
what you’re fucking talking about.
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00:07:42,422 --> 00:07:44,056
That wasn’t my fucking money!
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00:07:44,080 --> 00:07:45,880
- Right? So...
- Right.
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00:07:45,904 --> 00:07:47,400
...what’s your problem, then?
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00:07:47,940 --> 00:07:51,279
The guy that money belongs to
is called Terence McCann.
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00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:52,900
He’s my fucking problem.
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00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,700
Get it down!
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00:07:55,900 --> 00:07:59,999
If I tell him what’s gone on, he will be
your fucking problem as well, alright?
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00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,239
And despite our Ronnie
being a fucking half-wit,
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00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:06,040
- I don’t want to see him get hurt, alright?
- Right.
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00:08:07,188 --> 00:08:10,759
Fuck your Ronnie, fuck Terence McCann
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00:08:10,760 --> 00:08:13,260
and fuck you too. (LAUGHS)
156
00:08:24,460 --> 00:08:26,599
I'm getting it back. Right?
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00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:27,760
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
158
00:08:29,215 --> 00:08:30,480
You fucking prick!
159
00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:32,708
- Oh my God!
- Get in the car!
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00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:39,080
(COMMOTION)
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00:08:39,638 --> 00:08:41,380
Come here!
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00:08:45,264 --> 00:08:48,020
You’re smashing your own car up,
you fucking lunatic.
163
00:09:02,261 --> 00:09:04,420
Sugar, get in the fucking car.
164
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:18,560
Jesus Christ, he is a fucking loon,
that one.
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00:09:18,584 --> 00:09:20,296
And what the fuck is going on, like?
166
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,959
What are you doing mixed up with
Terence McCann’s money?
167
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,519
I’m laundering it for him, alright?
Through the club.
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00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,820
You can’t tell a soul, Carol, OK?
169
00:09:28,021 --> 00:09:30,399
You’re off your fucking head
getting involved with him.
170
00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,620
I didn’t have a choice, did I?
No-one can know, right?
171
00:09:34,060 --> 00:09:36,919
- How much did he get away with?
- 30 grand was McCann's,
172
00:09:36,920 --> 00:09:39,280
then there was a stack of cash
belonged to Vinnie’s from the cars.
173
00:09:39,304 --> 00:09:40,176
Oh, shit...
174
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,919
How’s Vinnie not going to find
out about this, like?
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00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:45,360
And what’s McCann gonna do
when he hears his 30 grand is missing?
176
00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:47,420
He’s not gonna find out.
177
00:09:47,860 --> 00:09:49,940
Cos I’m getting it the fuck back.
178
00:09:55,135 --> 00:09:58,240
Wait a minute. (VOMITS)
179
00:09:58,987 --> 00:10:01,080
We haven’t got time for this.
180
00:10:01,104 --> 00:10:03,720
It’s alright,
I feel better now, actually.
181
00:10:03,815 --> 00:10:06,438
OK. Let’s go get him.
182
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,980
Am I right? I’m fucking right.
183
00:10:10,482 --> 00:10:13,820
Fucking right, let’s go get him.
Come on!
184
00:10:16,735 --> 00:10:18,735
(ALL YELL)
185
00:10:24,140 --> 00:10:25,420
Oh!
186
00:10:26,695 --> 00:10:28,500
Oh, fuck!
187
00:10:38,220 --> 00:10:40,220
♪ LITTLE WILLIE JOHN: No Regrets
188
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,320
- Oh my God.
- Oh, God.
189
00:10:47,980 --> 00:10:49,760
Oh, Jesus!
190
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:54,840
Oh! (VOMITS)♪ (MUSIC ENDS)
191
00:10:56,020 --> 00:10:58,140
Erin! Shit!
192
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:05,440
Oh!
193
00:11:07,201 --> 00:11:09,159
Please, please tell me I didn’t just...
194
00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,559
Yeah... you just ran over
his fucking head. He's under the car.
195
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:15,880
- Oh my God, he’s right under your seat!
- Oh, God!
196
00:11:15,905 --> 00:11:17,920
He's proper stuck under there, like.
197
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,439
- Is he alive?
- Fuck knows.
198
00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,559
You’ll have to pull forwards
or backwards till we get him out.
199
00:11:21,583 --> 00:11:23,583
- What?!
- Let's phone an ambulance.
200
00:11:23,608 --> 00:11:26,360
No, we have no time for that, we just
got to get him out of there fast.
201
00:11:26,384 --> 00:11:28,240
Oh shit, oh shit!
202
00:11:28,900 --> 00:11:31,480
- Erin.
- OK, I’m doing it. I’m doing it.
203
00:11:34,693 --> 00:11:35,879
(STRAINS, YELLS)
204
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,800
That’s it, that’s it,
you’re doing great.
205
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,599
Yes! I can see his head!
206
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:45,420
That’s it. We can see the head. We can
see the head. That’s it. That’s it.
207
00:11:56,875 --> 00:11:59,720
Er, can I get an ambulance, please?
There’s been an accident.
208
00:12:00,713 --> 00:12:03,160
- What are you doing?
- What the fuck are you doing?
209
00:12:03,165 --> 00:12:05,965
Apart from fucking knocking him
down. He’s dead as a fucking doornail.
210
00:12:06,005 --> 00:12:07,758
Give me that fucking phone.
211
00:12:07,867 --> 00:12:09,600
Oh, Jesus.
212
00:12:09,624 --> 00:12:11,624
This can’t be happening.
This can’t be happening.
213
00:12:11,845 --> 00:12:13,720
Are you sure he’s not asleep?
214
00:12:13,744 --> 00:12:16,655
Yeah. Just because he’s got
no pulse, doesn’t mean he’s dead.
215
00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:18,320
Sugar, I was a nurse.
216
00:12:18,344 --> 00:12:20,599
A nurse in a porno, Carol,
for 20 minutes.
217
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,680
Not exactly qualified, are yer?!
218
00:12:22,704 --> 00:12:25,399
No, look, there's pulse,
no breathing, no nothing.
219
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:27,960
Tyre tracks across the face.
He’s fucking toast.
220
00:12:28,007 --> 00:12:31,780
Now, listen, I don't want
to say too much,
221
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:37,534
but I might have been in a situation very
similar to this one a while back in Rhyl.
222
00:12:37,559 --> 00:12:38,320
OK?
223
00:12:38,344 --> 00:12:41,640
Jesus Christ.
Let’s just phone the police
224
00:12:41,665 --> 00:12:44,480
- and let’s just tell them what happened.
- No. No. No. No. No police. No.
225
00:12:44,605 --> 00:12:46,160
You’ve got a little boy to think of.
226
00:12:46,184 --> 00:12:47,880
That’s precisely who
I am thinking about, Carol.
227
00:12:47,904 --> 00:12:51,425
We’ll just tell them it was just
an unfortunate, freak accident.
228
00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:52,112
Yes.
229
00:12:52,136 --> 00:12:55,679
Freak accident? What? That he accidentally
ran over his own fucking head, twice?
230
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,320
Girls! Think!
231
00:12:57,739 --> 00:13:00,559
We’ve got to make
this problem disappear,
232
00:13:00,584 --> 00:13:02,679
just like that thing in Rhyl
that never happened.
233
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,879
Jesus Christ, what the fuck
am I even doing?
234
00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,760
I didn’t even want
to come out tonight.
235
00:13:07,785 --> 00:13:11,200
My fucking life is ruined in
the space of five fucking minutes.
236
00:13:14,365 --> 00:13:16,340
OK. Alright.
237
00:13:18,500 --> 00:13:21,240
No-one knows we were ever here, yeah?
238
00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,879
And this prick spent
the majority of his life
239
00:13:24,880 --> 00:13:26,600
robbing people and disappearing.
240
00:13:26,624 --> 00:13:30,159
So no one’s gonna bat an eyelid
if he disappears again.
241
00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:33,839
- What are you saying, Erin?
- Ah, right.
242
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:37,919
I think what she’s saying is,
we take nobbo here
243
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:42,159
off for a farewell lap
in his own car up into the moors,
244
00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,399
bury him
and we never speak of this again.
245
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:48,908
But we need to act now and everyone
needs to be on board. Yeah?
246
00:13:48,947 --> 00:13:52,079
- OK.
- No bother, c’mon. Let’s do it.
247
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:54,576
- Come on. Let's go.
- OK. You get his hands.
248
00:13:55,946 --> 00:13:59,480
Whaaayyyyy! Someone’s
had a good night!
249
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:04,216
I mean, the smell! Piss and shit.
250
00:14:04,256 --> 00:14:07,879
(SHEEP BAAING) You've got to
remember that sheep are like people.
251
00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:11,056
A bit thick.
If one of them does summat,
252
00:14:11,096 --> 00:14:14,679
- all the others do the same.
- So it’s like a game of tig?
253
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,160
And the sheep like it?
254
00:14:16,184 --> 00:14:19,720
Yeah. Oh, yeah, they fucking love it!
Yeah!
255
00:14:19,896 --> 00:14:22,180
Remember playing here
when we were kids?
256
00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:26,140
I miss it, man.
257
00:14:26,976 --> 00:14:30,520
We've grown up now. Got busy.
258
00:14:30,675 --> 00:14:32,675
(PHONE RINGING)
259
00:14:36,752 --> 00:14:39,180
Fuck. Is that Sam?
260
00:14:42,321 --> 00:14:43,580
What are you doing?
261
00:14:44,060 --> 00:14:46,580
Dude, she's incredible!
262
00:14:47,216 --> 00:14:49,559
I tell you what,
you are going to wreck that
263
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,510
and then you are going to
fucking come moaning to me.
264
00:14:51,534 --> 00:14:52,620
Fuck.
265
00:14:54,755 --> 00:14:59,055
- I’m terrified, to be honest with you.
- Dude, she’s nice. She’s smart.
266
00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:01,359
She’s funny. The only thing
wrong with Sam
267
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:03,280
is that she’s got an
unhealthy attraction to
268
00:15:03,305 --> 00:15:05,680
- pikey-looking fuckers like you.
- (LAUGHS)
269
00:15:07,694 --> 00:15:11,260
Dude, you’re waiting for a bus
that is just never going to turn up.
270
00:15:12,820 --> 00:15:16,216
Whereas Sam likes you. And if
you keep dragging your heels,
271
00:15:16,256 --> 00:15:19,319
- you’re going to fuck everything up.
- It’s not her that terrifies me,
272
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:21,359
it’s the relationship bit, y’know?
273
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:22,240
I’ll tell yer,
274
00:15:22,241 --> 00:15:24,920
she’s only gonna end up working out
why no-one should ever
275
00:15:24,944 --> 00:15:26,279
be with me in a relationship.
276
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,531
She’ll end up fucking off
like the rest of them.
277
00:15:28,556 --> 00:15:31,135
So you're gonna pre-empt that
278
00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:33,740
by just never going out
with her in the first place. Is that it?
279
00:15:36,180 --> 00:15:38,200
Yes. Ach, I mean...
280
00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:42,000
Do you know what, in fairness,
sounds like...
281
00:15:42,184 --> 00:15:45,215
a pretty sound approach
to finding happiness, so fair play.
282
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:48,160
- What are you two sheepboys doing?
- Just cotching.
283
00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:50,800
Argh! Shit! Shit!
284
00:15:50,840 --> 00:15:52,840
- Oi!
- Shit! Shit!
285
00:15:52,879 --> 00:15:54,919
Fucking language! What's going on?
286
00:15:54,944 --> 00:15:56,520
- Shit!
- What?
287
00:15:56,544 --> 00:15:58,544
I fucking fell in shit!
288
00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,280
(LAUGHS)
289
00:16:01,046 --> 00:16:02,760
It's what God does to dickheads.
290
00:16:02,784 --> 00:16:05,960
Come on. Get down that end of
t'field, they've all gone. Come on.
291
00:16:11,985 --> 00:16:13,480
I can't get it shut!
292
00:16:13,504 --> 00:16:16,160
It's his hand! It's poking out.
293
00:16:18,915 --> 00:16:22,335
- No, the fucker's too big.
- Carol, stop, stop, stop, stop.
294
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,280
- He's not gonna fit, is he?
- Shit!
295
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,040
What the fuck are we gonna do, like?
296
00:16:38,743 --> 00:16:40,743
This is creepy as fuck.
297
00:16:41,864 --> 00:16:44,975
Not too slow, Erin. We don't want
to be conspicuously slow.
298
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,679
All the windows are smashed in,
Carol. I don't speed's the issue.
299
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,320
Whoa, watch out!
300
00:16:50,877 --> 00:16:53,077
Round them up!
301
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,320
♪ MINISTRY OF SOUND: Let's All Chant
302
00:16:57,960 --> 00:17:00,560
Get him off! Get him off!
303
00:17:01,864 --> 00:17:03,239
He likes you, doesn't he?
304
00:17:03,264 --> 00:17:05,175
Why didn't you put a seatbelt on him?
305
00:17:05,380 --> 00:17:07,680
What would I do that for?
He's fucking dead.
306
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:09,720
♪ (MUSIC ENDS)
307
00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:19,279
That's perfect, Erin.
There’s hundreds of cars down there.
308
00:17:19,280 --> 00:17:22,399
They’ll never find him. Jesus,
he is an awful fucking prick anyway.
309
00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:26,000
He got put - Shut... up... Carol.
310
00:17:26,024 --> 00:17:27,560
I'm only trying to help.
311
00:17:30,835 --> 00:17:32,360
Right, then.
312
00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:35,118
Let’s do it. (CLEARS THROAT)
313
00:17:39,504 --> 00:17:41,151
You get his legs.
314
00:17:43,252 --> 00:17:46,160
Jesus, he is a big one. Fucking huge.
315
00:17:48,820 --> 00:17:51,120
(STRAINS) Come on, you big fucker!
316
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:54,040
We need to get him so it looks like
he’s been driving.
317
00:17:54,064 --> 00:17:55,719
Shut up, Sugar!
You're not fucking helping!
318
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,040
- I am just saying.
- Shut the fuck up!
319
00:17:57,064 --> 00:17:57,800
Shut the fuck up!
320
00:17:57,824 --> 00:17:59,824
Yeah, you just stand there, Sugar,
for fuck's sake.
321
00:18:02,775 --> 00:18:08,599
♪ HADDAWAY: What Is Love? So much for
being discreet, Carol. For fuck's sake...
322
00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:12,080
Get off, you! No, no, no, hang on...
323
00:18:13,909 --> 00:18:17,240
- what’s he caught on?
- Ah, it’s this stick.
324
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:20,640
- Woah.
- Shit! Shit!
325
00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:22,660
Aw, fucking dog shit!
326
00:18:23,860 --> 00:18:26,280
- Fucking shit.
- Ah well, that’s him off so.
327
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:29,520
♪ (HADDAWAY SONG CONTINUING)
328
00:18:44,439 --> 00:18:46,360
- Oh...!
- Wha'?!
329
00:18:46,384 --> 00:18:48,760
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
330
00:18:49,570 --> 00:18:51,840
That’s meant to be a bottomless lake.
331
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:54,080
♪ (SONG ENDS)
♪ NICK WATERHOUSE: Song For Winners
332
00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:04,400
- We did it! We won!!
- Yay!
333
00:19:05,130 --> 00:19:08,449
Dude, your pants stink of shite!
334
00:19:08,474 --> 00:19:12,370
- Just throw them out the window!
- A few years left in them yet. Leave them.
335
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:15,640
What was the point in taking them off
and then just leaving them in here?!
336
00:19:15,677 --> 00:19:17,919
Where are we taking the sheep now?
337
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,519
- Where do you think we’re taking 'em?
- On holiday?
338
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:21,920
Blackpool?
339
00:19:23,389 --> 00:19:25,239
Have you ever had a doner kebab?
340
00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:27,508
- Hey, Jim
- S’alright, let me handle this.
341
00:19:27,532 --> 00:19:28,799
Gentle.
342
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,200
Right, you know what an abattoir is?
343
00:19:32,224 --> 00:19:34,480
That's worse, you dickhead!
What are you doing?
344
00:19:36,180 --> 00:19:38,540
Well, where are we going, then?
345
00:19:38,900 --> 00:19:42,200
I thought they just wanted to have
a ride in the lorry. Like us.
346
00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:45,559
- They do.
- They do. They do.
347
00:19:45,560 --> 00:19:50,240
They do. No. He's right. They do.
Yeah, they do.
348
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:54,079
Every now and again we will drive up
to the fields, y’know.
349
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:58,239
Game of tig. Bit of hide and seek. Take
their minds of being sheep for a bit.
350
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:02,620
And they we just...
After that we just...
351
00:20:04,164 --> 00:20:05,560
And then what?
352
00:20:06,935 --> 00:20:08,935
Take them home and put them in bed.
353
00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:12,960
- So am I...!
- Just turn it round.
354
00:20:12,985 --> 00:20:17,040
We could take them down Steep Lane,
that’s like going down a rollercoaster.
355
00:20:17,079 --> 00:20:21,040
We should take them down Steep Lane.
That is the sickest of ideas!
356
00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:24,120
Wait till you see it
with the lights out.(ALL SCREAM)
357
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,520
Jesus Jim, put the lights back on!
358
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,800
Whaa-haaaay!
359
00:20:30,541 --> 00:20:31,920
That was close.
360
00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:34,580
Let’s move the fucker.
361
00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,918
- Sugar, slow it down.
- What do you mean? It's not me!
362
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,880
Jesus! Fucking hell.
363
00:21:08,305 --> 00:21:09,528
This is insane!
364
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:12,520
What are we gonna do, wheel him
around till we get caught?!
365
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:14,880
It was your idea to put him
in a wheelie bin.
366
00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:17,720
Yes, I know, but what are we
doing now with him?
367
00:21:17,776 --> 00:21:19,775
Why don’t we just fucking, like,
368
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,140
just cremate him there in the bin?
369
00:21:22,820 --> 00:21:24,200
With that, yeah?
370
00:21:24,224 --> 00:21:27,560
I know, or just fucking, like,
bury him like?
371
00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,959
I mean no one ever goes in there,
I bet yer.
372
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,720
In there, like. No-one ever goes
in there.
373
00:21:35,167 --> 00:21:39,760
- Soft ground. Like Rhyl. Come on.
- I’ve just done my nails!
374
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:42,279
C’mon. We’re running
out of options here,
375
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:43,696
it’ll be light before we know it.
376
00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:46,559
There’s the path, OK? Back it in.
Back it in.
377
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:49,500
That’s it. Straight up.
Straighten her up. Straight up.
378
00:22:01,400 --> 00:22:03,920
Here’s a car. Just get him out.
Get him out.
379
00:22:27,272 --> 00:22:30,040
What are the fucking chances?!
380
00:22:30,555 --> 00:22:32,519
Dirty fucker's doing a pish.
381
00:22:32,520 --> 00:22:35,160
- What?
- He's draining his spuds, like.
382
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:36,540
Jesus Christ...
383
00:22:43,634 --> 00:22:45,580
♪ THE CREATURES: Right Now
384
00:22:45,605 --> 00:22:48,065
For fuck sake, I can’t do it.
385
00:22:52,352 --> 00:22:55,815
That's it. In here. Pull fast! Pull!
386
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:56,960
That's it.
387
00:22:57,749 --> 00:22:59,000
Fucking hell.
388
00:23:16,653 --> 00:23:19,730
- ♪ (MUSIC ENDS) - My fucking wedding ring!
- What?
389
00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:24,067
My wedding ring. I’m after losing
it. It’s buried in there with him.
390
00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:26,981
Oh, fuck. Ah, fuck!
391
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:29,493
Oh Jesus Christ. Come on.
392
00:23:30,020 --> 00:23:31,300
Right.
393
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,340
Oh, fuck.
394
00:23:48,687 --> 00:23:50,080
Fucking watch out.
395
00:23:50,105 --> 00:23:53,320
Fucking stupid place to put
a fucking sign anyway.
396
00:23:53,344 --> 00:23:56,560
Let’s just go home and pretend
tonight never happened.
397
00:23:57,420 --> 00:23:59,420
Get on with our lives.
398
00:24:41,227 --> 00:24:43,040
- Vin.
- Mm-hm?
399
00:24:43,940 --> 00:24:46,420
I’ve got something I need to tell you.
400
00:24:56,975 --> 00:25:00,627
What do you mean, 'dead?' What do
you mean, 'dead?' Properly dead?
401
00:25:00,660 --> 00:25:02,180
Yes. Shush!
402
00:25:02,220 --> 00:25:04,320
- Who’s dead?
- No-one. Never you mind.
403
00:25:04,660 --> 00:25:07,028
You know, I am beginning to wish
I hadn’t told you about any of this.
404
00:25:07,052 --> 00:25:10,799
Same. But it doesn’t make any
sense. I'm the dickhead. I'm the idiot,
405
00:25:10,800 --> 00:25:13,455
you’re supposed to be the sensible one.
And I'm the bloody idiot.
406
00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:15,680
What about the gang’s money?
Was that in the...
407
00:25:15,705 --> 00:25:17,480
- I am working on it.
- It’s gone!
408
00:25:17,504 --> 00:25:18,600
Shush!
409
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:22,560
- Morning.
- Morning.
410
00:25:23,360 --> 00:25:24,276
Morning.
411
00:25:28,983 --> 00:25:30,640
It’s the morning time.
412
00:25:30,664 --> 00:25:32,895
So you told him, then?
413
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:35,009
Sugar, I'm sorry. I lay awake all night,
it was in my head...
414
00:25:35,034 --> 00:25:37,280
You two, I can’t fucking believe this!
415
00:25:37,360 --> 00:25:39,360
♪ IRMA THOMAS: It's Raining
416
00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:43,800
- Thomas?
- Vincent?
417
00:25:43,824 --> 00:25:45,175
- Can I help you?
- Yeah,
418
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,800
you can help me actually, Erin.
419
00:25:46,845 --> 00:25:49,959
You can help me by stopping leaving
snide little notes for me
420
00:25:49,960 --> 00:25:51,920
around my club. How about that?
421
00:25:51,944 --> 00:25:53,960
Well, you are not my priority
right now.
422
00:25:53,985 --> 00:25:56,240
First of all, it’s not your club, Tommo.
423
00:25:56,264 --> 00:25:58,120
And they are not snide little notes.
424
00:25:58,144 --> 00:26:00,200
They are chores for you to do
around the place.
425
00:26:00,224 --> 00:26:03,520
I know you like to think of yourself
as some little emperor
426
00:26:03,545 --> 00:26:07,000
lording it around, giving it the big
'un, but it doesn’t wash with me Tommo.
427
00:26:07,025 --> 00:26:10,320
- Either do it or fuck off.
- How's about this, then?
428
00:26:10,345 --> 00:26:13,999
- I’m not fucking doing it!
- I don’t give a shit either way, Tom.
429
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:18,560
Right? Either you do it or you won’t.
And if you won’t, I’ll fire you
430
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,159
and I’ll get someone else to do it.
Either way,
431
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:25,840
someone is picking the chewing gum and
the pubes out of them urinals, right?!
432
00:26:29,988 --> 00:26:32,399
Fine. I’ll do it.
433
00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,759
But not because you want me to,
cos I want to do it.
434
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:37,560
Hah! Who’s won that one, then? Me.
435
00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:42,479
You guys are not going to believe
what happened to me last night.
436
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:45,960
- My God, you gotta check this out.
- Fuck sake, what now?
437
00:26:45,985 --> 00:26:49,919
'Hello and welcome to another
episode of Fishing with JJ.'
438
00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,439
'Tonight we’re on the hunt for perch
and I am also going to be talking about
439
00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,001
hair-rigging your worms.'
440
00:26:54,025 --> 00:26:56,839
- Who cares about worms and fish?
- Let me spin it forward,
441
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,279
it’s worth it. I promise.
442
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,920
- What lake is that?
- Demdike Quarry.
443
00:27:00,944 --> 00:27:02,799
Who cares what fucking lake it is?
444
00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:03,720
Here you go.
445
00:27:03,744 --> 00:27:07,040
'That’s right, you sexy little perch you.
You know you want it. Stop teasing, come on.'
446
00:27:08,110 --> 00:27:10,480
- What’s wrong with yer?
- 'Don't be shy.'
447
00:27:10,505 --> 00:27:15,719
Holy fuck!'Flipping hell! Did you
guys see that?! A flipping car
448
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,280
just fell out the bastard sky, bruv!'
449
00:27:18,304 --> 00:27:21,535
Police are down there now. They have got
fucking divers and everything.
450
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,520
But get this, yeah? There’s absolutely
no trace of the driver.
451
00:27:24,900 --> 00:27:26,080
(PHONE RINGS) Fuck sake...
452
00:27:26,104 --> 00:27:29,560
Ash? Yes, mate, did you watch it?
453
00:27:29,585 --> 00:27:33,360
It’s gonna go fucking viral, innit?!
I’m round at Sugar’s. Come over.
454
00:27:34,549 --> 00:27:35,920
Have you heard?
455
00:27:38,669 --> 00:27:41,335
The word is out all over town.
Police are down at the quarry.
456
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:43,320
Keithy McBride is on the missing
persons list.
457
00:27:43,344 --> 00:27:45,759
- Oh fuck me, no.
- I feel sick.
458
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:47,399
I can’t believe we've been that stupid?
459
00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:50,000
Carol, you were the one
saying it was a good idea!
460
00:27:50,160 --> 00:27:52,975
(KNOCKING) This is a
ladies-only conversation.
461
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,199
The fuck it is! Let me in.
What you gonna do,
462
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:57,680
bury me in a shallow grave
in the fucking woods, dickheads?
463
00:27:57,704 --> 00:28:00,000
Erin, I can’t believe you told him.
464
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:02,559
Listen to me. You gave me
such a bollocking
465
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:05,559
for bringing Cardi home with his
arse out and you’ve killed a man!
466
00:28:05,560 --> 00:28:09,119
Erin, you were meant to keep that quiet,
like that thing that happened in Rhyl.
467
00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:11,560
- What happened in Rhyl?
- Nothing.
468
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,999
- Exactly.
- Right. Fuck me, this is getting serious.
469
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,480
Who else knows about it?
470
00:28:16,504 --> 00:28:17,456
- No-one.
- No-one.
471
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:18,200
Good.
472
00:28:18,224 --> 00:28:21,959
I... had to offload it to someone.
The burden was too strong.
473
00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:23,079
- Cardi?
- Aye.
474
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:24,421
- What?!
- Fucking hell.
475
00:28:24,446 --> 00:28:26,040
- Carol...
- Did anyone see you?
476
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,199
- No-one. No-one.
- Thank fuck.
477
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:30,799
Except... except for that hen party
478
00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:33,720
- that walked past.
- A group... of people.
479
00:28:33,745 --> 00:28:36,800
And the police officer when we were
wheeling him down the hill.
480
00:28:36,824 --> 00:28:39,800
What do you mean a policeman...
What, do you mean a policeman saw you?!
481
00:28:39,920 --> 00:28:42,120
- He waved at us.
- He fucking waved at you?!
482
00:28:42,144 --> 00:28:44,119
- What, he saw you with the body?!
- No.
483
00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:45,880
No, the body was in a... a bin.
484
00:28:45,904 --> 00:28:49,000
- Why was he in a fucking wheelie bin?
- It was easier to manoeuvre.
485
00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,520
Of course.
What did you do with his stuff?
486
00:28:51,544 --> 00:28:54,680
The things he had on him.
His wallet. His phone.
487
00:28:55,015 --> 00:28:58,415
His keys? Anything that might...
Honest to fucking God...
488
00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,120
There is a body now in a shallow grave
489
00:29:01,319 --> 00:29:03,639
and he has got
his fucking phone on him?!
490
00:29:03,664 --> 00:29:05,399
What if a fucking dog walker hears it
491
00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:06,600
and answers the fucking thing?
492
00:29:06,624 --> 00:29:08,399
Oh, the fucking documentaries,
493
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,000
the murder documentaries are sick.
494
00:29:10,025 --> 00:29:13,201
They fucking track your phones and that
how they find... that’s how they find...
495
00:29:13,365 --> 00:29:14,416
criminals.
496
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:15,839
Sounds really bad
when you say it like that.
497
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:16,680
Really frigging bad.
498
00:29:16,681 --> 00:29:17,999
- Frightening.
- I mean, honestly,
499
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,320
the police could be banging
on that fucking door any second.
500
00:29:20,344 --> 00:29:22,344
(KNOCKING) (THEY YELL)
501
00:29:27,282 --> 00:29:30,648
- Can someone take me to school now?
- Absoshagginglutely...
502
00:29:30,680 --> 00:29:31,800
Get down them stairs.
503
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,600
A fucking dead body.
504
00:29:34,017 --> 00:29:36,477
What the bloody hell is he
talking to me about a dead body for?
505
00:29:36,531 --> 00:29:39,039
Tell me he's gone insane.
Guys, what is going on?!
506
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:40,336
- Hi.
- Alright?
507
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:42,000
Oh! Here he is,
508
00:29:42,024 --> 00:29:45,200
Mr Worldwide internet star,
Jehan Javani in the flesh.
509
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,720
(CHUCKLES)
510
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:51,140
Faces like slapped arses. Who died?
511
00:29:51,165 --> 00:29:53,165
(LAUGHS)
512
00:29:58,065 --> 00:30:00,359
- Right, you have a good day, yeah?
- Yeah.
513
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:03,327
- Give me a cuddle. See you later.
- Love you, Mum.
514
00:30:03,352 --> 00:30:04,752
Love you. (PHONE RINGS)
515
00:30:08,168 --> 00:30:10,360
- Hello?
- (MAN) 'Hello, Erin.'
516
00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,800
- 'Wondered if we could have a chat.'
- Who is this?
517
00:30:16,740 --> 00:30:20,559
Hang on a minute, this is
a fucking... this is a murder!
518
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,400
All I’m saying is...
All I am saying is...
519
00:30:23,660 --> 00:30:27,519
If it were Erin’s fault then
we should shop her in to the police.
520
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,800
(PHONE RINGS) She’s killed once
she’s got a taste for it now,
521
00:30:29,824 --> 00:30:31,559
- none of us are safe.
- Fuck me.
522
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,119
Erin? Erin! Clip him, dickhead.
523
00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:36,559
Erin, where are you, love?
524
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:40,200
- I've been brought in for questioning.
- What?! What the fuck?!
525
00:30:40,225 --> 00:30:45,239
Hang on a minute... Just say...
No... No comment to everything.
526
00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:48,239
Stay calm and promise me
you’ll look after Tyler for me.
527
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:50,999
Stop it, this is fucking ridiculous!
528
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,980
What are they... What fucking
questions are they asking you?
529
00:30:54,500 --> 00:30:57,200
Something to do with the disappearance
of someone called...
530
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:00,500
Keith McBride. I don’t know,
I don’t anything yet.
531
00:31:02,192 --> 00:31:06,959
Listen to me, cos this is important.
I need you to look after Tyler
532
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,640
for me if need be.
Tell me you can do that, Vin?!
533
00:31:10,665 --> 00:31:12,800
- Erin... Sweetheart...
- Vin. Tell me.
534
00:31:12,824 --> 00:31:14,479
Of course I'll look after him,
535
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:17,080
I’m his fucking dad!
Sweetheart, please!
536
00:31:18,343 --> 00:31:23,160
- I've gotta go.
- No! Erin! Fuck! Fuck!
537
00:31:23,185 --> 00:31:24,200
What?
538
00:31:27,708 --> 00:31:30,100
They can’t charge her
without a body. Can they?
539
00:31:38,813 --> 00:31:41,159
Right, we need to find this body fast.
540
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:43,773
Right. This is Corby Woods. Pull in.
541
00:31:47,120 --> 00:31:50,840
Jesus wept... What is all this shit?
542
00:31:50,841 --> 00:31:52,138
♪♪♪
543
00:31:52,163 --> 00:31:54,320
Carol said there was a sign or summat.
544
00:31:54,900 --> 00:31:56,693
Was it that sign there maybe?
545
00:31:57,460 --> 00:31:59,319
Come on. We don’t have much time.
546
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,320
- Oh, nice.
- Yeah man. Chop some trees innit.
547
00:32:03,580 --> 00:32:07,080
- That looks about right.
- Oh, yeah, check me out, dude!
548
00:32:07,105 --> 00:32:09,040
Be careful, Cardi.
549
00:32:09,064 --> 00:32:10,919
Oh yeah Cardi, look at my one?
550
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:14,079
Like a tomahawk,
from a lovely native American boy,
551
00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:15,400
maybe you want to...
552
00:32:15,424 --> 00:32:16,760
- Maybe I could have a loan of...
- No, you’re alright.
553
00:32:16,784 --> 00:32:18,119
Just hold it for a second
and have a go on it
554
00:32:18,120 --> 00:32:21,679
Ashley. Ashley, listen.
We are going to go out in them woods
555
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:23,080
and spread out yeah?
556
00:32:23,104 --> 00:32:25,439
We are looking for a
knobhead in a shallow grave.
557
00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,140
- Let’s go.
- Let’s do it.
558
00:32:29,349 --> 00:32:31,040
Yeah, now...
559
00:32:31,426 --> 00:32:33,760
Where do we start?
I mean, look at the fucking size of it.
560
00:32:33,784 --> 00:32:35,256
Listen, don’t panic,
561
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:36,760
Cardi is on the phone to Carol now,
562
00:32:36,784 --> 00:32:38,840
should give us an idea
where the fucker is lying.
563
00:32:39,469 --> 00:32:42,820
Yeah, thanks. Alright. See you later,
yeah. Love you. Love you too, bye.
564
00:32:43,936 --> 00:32:47,975
OK. So she says it was pretty dark
last night,
565
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,900
but she’s pretty certain
566
00:32:51,188 --> 00:32:54,460
he’s over near... 'the big tree.'
567
00:32:57,340 --> 00:32:59,360
Just to fuck me in the arse.
568
00:32:59,384 --> 00:33:01,384
- Shall I call her back?
- No.
569
00:33:02,589 --> 00:33:05,909
So the disappearance
of Keithy McBride.
570
00:33:05,910 --> 00:33:07,923
Kind of had this foisted upon us,
571
00:33:07,948 --> 00:33:09,960
what with that video of his
motor in the quarry,
572
00:33:09,961 --> 00:33:11,895
public interest and what-have-you.
573
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:13,519
People love a mystery.
574
00:33:13,520 --> 00:33:17,935
Me, I couldn’t give a rat’s piss
about Keithy McBride.
575
00:33:17,960 --> 00:33:21,349
But unfortunately, since foul play
is suspected,
576
00:33:21,389 --> 00:33:23,399
it’s kind of my responsibility.
577
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:25,919
So let me start at the beginning.
578
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:29,860
For the benefit of the tape,
do you know Keithy McBride?
579
00:33:31,220 --> 00:33:32,340
No.
580
00:33:33,540 --> 00:33:37,989
For the benefit of the tape,
I told you, I don’t know him.
581
00:33:38,500 --> 00:33:40,900
Never heard of him
until you asked me about him.
582
00:33:41,420 --> 00:33:43,980
So I don't understand why I’m here.
583
00:33:44,005 --> 00:33:45,300
OK.
584
00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:47,360
OK.
585
00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:52,060
So the next question would be,
586
00:33:52,700 --> 00:33:57,479
why do you suppose that, according
to Keithy McBride’s phone records,
587
00:33:57,480 --> 00:34:00,580
the last person to call him
was... you?
588
00:34:01,580 --> 00:34:03,940
At 11.36 last night.
589
00:34:06,160 --> 00:34:09,160
♪ NICK WATERHOUSE feat LEON BRIDGES:
Katchi
590
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:10,340
No comment.
591
00:34:18,778 --> 00:34:22,135
This is a lot harder than it looks
and it’s heavy.
592
00:34:22,160 --> 00:34:24,320
- OK.
- How’s it going?
593
00:34:24,344 --> 00:34:25,336
On the job are yer?
594
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:28,440
- Eh?
- Oh. Yeah.
595
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,000
- You know how to use that thing?
- Yeah, yeah. Reckon I do, yeah.
596
00:34:31,025 --> 00:34:34,159
Well, if you need a hand,
you be sure to let me know.
597
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:36,160
Well, maybe I will.
598
00:34:36,540 --> 00:34:39,700
You could do a lot more damage
than his tiny chopper.(LAUGHS)
599
00:34:43,300 --> 00:34:45,400
- The fuck was all that?
- What?
600
00:34:46,280 --> 00:34:49,559
- Just a bit of banter.
- That wasn’t just banter.
601
00:34:49,560 --> 00:34:52,200
- Get back to work, skiver.
- No. You get back to work, you.
602
00:34:52,225 --> 00:34:54,905
Go on, sod off. Cheeky.
603
00:34:54,930 --> 00:34:56,679
What’s the fucking deal here?
604
00:34:56,680 --> 00:34:59,120
All lumberjacks gay or something?
Am I invisible?
605
00:34:59,144 --> 00:35:01,440
They’re not gay.
Why do you think everyone’s gay?
606
00:35:01,465 --> 00:35:03,119
You with that chainsaw.
607
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:07,319
That’s the only reason they’re paying you
any attention. It’s like a gay bat signal.
608
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:10,640
- Pass it over. Careful now. Swap it now.
- No. It’s mine.
609
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,279
- Swap it Cardi.
- No, I want the chainsaw.
610
00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:13,439
Hand it over.
611
00:35:13,464 --> 00:35:15,929
♪ (MUSIC ENDS)
612
00:35:26,628 --> 00:35:28,180
See this necklace?
613
00:35:30,015 --> 00:35:33,279
On a scale of one to ten, how
surprised do you reckon I’m gonna be
614
00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:35,220
if we find your prints all over it?
615
00:35:35,540 --> 00:35:40,960
11.42pm, a phone call is made
to emergency services from your phone.
616
00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:44,200
'Can we get an ambulance, please?
There’s been an accident...
617
00:35:44,735 --> 00:35:46,519
What are you doing?!'
618
00:35:46,520 --> 00:35:50,359
'What the fuck are you doing? Apart from us
knocking him down. He’s dead as a fucking doornail.'
619
00:35:50,360 --> 00:35:52,240
'Give me that fucking phone back.'
620
00:35:52,820 --> 00:35:55,959
Pretty damning that.
Do you know, Erin,
621
00:35:55,960 --> 00:35:59,599
what cellphone triangulation is?
It’s how we locate a mobile phone,
622
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:01,880
or a person’s whereabouts. These...
623
00:36:02,523 --> 00:36:06,239
are Keithy McBride's mobile phone's
movements over the past 24 hours.
624
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:09,039
And these... are yours.
625
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:13,519
And, amazingly, you appear
to have been
626
00:36:13,520 --> 00:36:16,839
in exactly the same places
as our missing Keithy
627
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:20,079
for much of last night. Until,
628
00:36:20,080 --> 00:36:23,240
that is, you returned home
629
00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:26,980
and he... he remained behind.
630
00:36:27,940 --> 00:36:29,340
Right here.
631
00:36:32,180 --> 00:36:35,120
In what appears to be these woods
just outside of town.
632
00:36:41,748 --> 00:36:44,900
There’s a SOCO team
on the way to the woods right now.
633
00:36:45,858 --> 00:36:48,460
Do you think they’re going to
find Mr McBride there?
634
00:36:55,018 --> 00:36:57,660
Give me Vinnie and I’ll see you walk.
635
00:36:58,300 --> 00:37:02,740
Name Vinnie and you’ll go home
to your kid tonight.
636
00:37:05,660 --> 00:37:09,320
- Has anyone seen anything?
- No, Vincent, we haven’t seen anything,
637
00:37:09,559 --> 00:37:14,455
- cos it’s a fucking wasting of time.
- Stop being so grumpy, Willow.
638
00:37:14,480 --> 00:37:16,520
You're just coming down, you!
639
00:37:16,544 --> 00:37:18,544
I am not on a fucking
come-down, Vincent.
640
00:37:29,217 --> 00:37:33,100
Knobhead... I am not on a come-down,
mate.
641
00:37:43,492 --> 00:37:45,975
(SCREAMS)
642
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,600
Shut up, you dickhead!
Keep your fucking voice down.
643
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:51,839
Fuck! Fucking hell. Fuck me. Shit.
644
00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:54,520
Get down. Fucking hell. Shush.
645
00:37:54,544 --> 00:37:57,599
Is that it, then, yeah? That’s
gonna be the dead body, right?
646
00:37:57,600 --> 00:38:01,735
If it isn’t, it’ll do till the right one
gets here, won’t it, you fucking idiot?
647
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:03,160
What the fuck are you doing?
648
00:38:03,184 --> 00:38:06,160
I am trying to pull him out
of the fucking ground.
649
00:38:06,185 --> 00:38:08,760
We need a distraction or summat.
(COMMOTION)
650
00:38:09,300 --> 00:38:11,880
- What the fuck is that?
- I think it's Cardi.
651
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,199
A convenient distraction.
652
00:38:14,200 --> 00:38:16,640
♪ PEACHES: Boys Wanna Be Her
653
00:38:21,480 --> 00:38:23,919
Boys, it's the bossman.
654
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,959
Hey! Who are you lot with?
655
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:31,280
We're with the crew for the chopping
down of the woods and shit innit sir.
656
00:38:31,420 --> 00:38:33,520
You’ll have to cover him back up
and we’ll get him later.
657
00:38:33,544 --> 00:38:35,920
We fucking taking him now.
Get his ankles.
658
00:38:36,759 --> 00:38:41,600
(WOMAN OVER MEGAPHONE) Your attention,
please. Your attention, please.
659
00:38:41,625 --> 00:38:45,740
All work is to be suspended
with immediate effect.
660
00:38:46,016 --> 00:38:49,360
These woods have been
designated a crime scene.
661
00:38:49,384 --> 00:38:50,880
Fucking leave him!
662
00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:57,240
♪ (MUSIC ENDS)
663
00:39:03,713 --> 00:39:05,940
(SOMEONE GRUNTS)
664
00:39:06,860 --> 00:39:09,000
Cardi, stop doing that grunty thing.
665
00:39:09,024 --> 00:39:10,996
- I didn’t say anything.
- You did, you said "eurgh"
666
00:39:11,020 --> 00:39:13,000
- and then you grunted.
- It wasn’t me.
667
00:39:13,562 --> 00:39:15,000
What the fuck?!
668
00:39:16,290 --> 00:39:18,640
- How the fuck is he alive?!
- He was.
669
00:39:18,664 --> 00:39:20,535
Did you just fucking knock him out?
670
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:22,880
Well, he shouldn’t have
sneaked up on us like that.
671
00:39:22,905 --> 00:39:25,399
Oi! He's been through enough.
672
00:39:25,400 --> 00:39:27,439
Fucking knocked him out, poor cunt.
673
00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:30,687
Keithy. Keithy, love?
Did nobody check his pulse?
674
00:39:30,711 --> 00:39:32,160
Keithy?
675
00:39:37,240 --> 00:39:41,560
Jesus! For fuck's sake!
Ashley, that's twice!
676
00:39:41,720 --> 00:39:44,160
(SIGHS) Thank fuck he's alive.
♪ PRIMAL SCREAM: Loaded
677
00:39:49,936 --> 00:39:53,577
- Alright, Carl?
- No. I’m pretty fucking not.
678
00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:57,600
Keithy McBride was admitted to
St Margaret’s a half an hour ago.
679
00:39:57,660 --> 00:40:01,120
- Alive?!
- Yeah. It would seem so.
680
00:40:02,108 --> 00:40:04,439
Kei... Keithy McBride is alive?
681
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,480
A few witnesses reported seeing him
drinking heavily last night.
682
00:40:07,700 --> 00:40:11,239
Two women found him staggering along
the road, disorientated, this morning.
683
00:40:11,240 --> 00:40:14,580
- Looks like he fell asleep in some woods.
- Is that right?
684
00:40:18,141 --> 00:40:19,341
Wow.
685
00:40:23,287 --> 00:40:25,960
- Shit!
- Oh, hi.
686
00:40:25,984 --> 00:40:28,359
- Yeah, nice to see you too!
- I didn’t mean like that,
687
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,599
I just... it’s nice to see you.
♪ (MUSIC FADES)
688
00:40:31,600 --> 00:40:33,620
So, you handing yourself in?
689
00:40:34,855 --> 00:40:36,640
No, one of the boys...
690
00:40:36,664 --> 00:40:38,616
Just picking up one of the lads
who got in trouble.
691
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:41,520
- Where are you going?
- Off to work at the Crow. You know,
692
00:40:41,545 --> 00:40:43,999
that place you’re avoiding
in case you run into me.
693
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:48,560
For fuck's sake. I'm not avoiding...
I’ve just been busy.
694
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,740
I’ve not told you
because I worry about you...
695
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:56,880
- OK. Shut up.
- That’s enough of that... Alright, then.
696
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:11,440
- Get me the fuck out of here.
- ♪ DJ FORMAT: 2,3.
697
00:41:18,747 --> 00:41:21,720
- Wait!
- I need to talk to Keithy McBride. Now.
698
00:41:31,054 --> 00:41:33,000
Fucking hell... Yessss! Keithy!
699
00:41:33,024 --> 00:41:36,240
- (GROANS)
- Stop saying "eurgh" and fucking help.
700
00:41:37,387 --> 00:41:39,520
Quick. Move, you fuck.
701
00:41:43,223 --> 00:41:44,960
Let’s fucking go! ♪ (MUSIC ENDS)
702
00:41:46,020 --> 00:41:48,280
I really need to get hold of Keithy.
703
00:41:48,304 --> 00:41:51,160
No. just stay clear of
the whole thing.
704
00:41:51,660 --> 00:41:53,560
What if he talks, Vin?
705
00:41:54,176 --> 00:41:57,620
Don’t matter. No-ones gonna
believe him if he does. Fuck him.
706
00:41:57,660 --> 00:42:00,040
I need to get to him, I need
to get that money back.
707
00:42:00,064 --> 00:42:01,196
Listen to me, you.
708
00:42:01,220 --> 00:42:05,120
If it’s the difference between him
getting away with a load of money
709
00:42:05,340 --> 00:42:08,759
and you taking a murder charge,
I'd rather take the hit on the dough...
710
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:12,000
y’know? It’s only cash.
711
00:42:16,100 --> 00:42:18,100
♪ HYPNOTIC BRASS ENSEMBLE: Sankofa
712
00:42:20,780 --> 00:42:22,720
Is that our Ronnie?
713
00:42:27,780 --> 00:42:30,420
- Come on!
- Pull over!
714
00:42:35,740 --> 00:42:37,560
Oi! Ronnie!
715
00:42:38,930 --> 00:42:40,280
Ronnie!
716
00:42:40,955 --> 00:42:42,880
Ronnie, you bell end!
717
00:42:43,420 --> 00:42:46,040
Ronnie, I want my fucking money back!
718
00:42:50,660 --> 00:42:54,679
We can't hear you, you fucking idiot!
719
00:42:54,680 --> 00:42:58,999
We can’t hear you Ronnie!
Just give me the money!
720
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:01,719
I'm saying, I'm fucking wicked
at everything!
721
00:43:01,720 --> 00:43:04,359
We can’t hear what you're saying!
722
00:43:04,360 --> 00:43:05,719
Wait!
723
00:43:05,720 --> 00:43:08,039
I'm getting a fucking sore throat here!
724
00:43:08,040 --> 00:43:10,839
(PHONE RINGS)
Fucking calling me. Right, go on.
725
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,879
Alright, Erin, it’s Ronnie here.
I was saying,
726
00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:16,199
every fucking time
you underestimate me
727
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,600
and you, Vinnie, you skinny twat.
728
00:43:17,624 --> 00:43:20,399
I am an inspiration to many,
Jar told me that, man.
729
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:23,020
(HORN BLARES) ♪ (MUSIC ENDS)
730
00:43:25,780 --> 00:43:27,780
♪ OS TINCOAS: CORDEIRO DE NANA
731
00:43:36,500 --> 00:43:40,180
(PHONE RINGS) Now, let's just...
That's really bad. We should leave.
732
00:43:40,220 --> 00:43:41,420
We should. (PHONE RINGING)
733
00:43:41,460 --> 00:43:44,180
Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
734
00:43:49,500 --> 00:43:51,079
♪ (MUSIC ENDS)
735
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:52,880
(PHONE RINGING)
736
00:43:54,435 --> 00:43:56,535
- He’s not gonna give up, is he?
- What are you going to do?
737
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:57,520
I have got a job.
738
00:43:57,544 --> 00:43:59,920
- What is it?
- Bees.
739
00:44:01,300 --> 00:44:04,600
- Fuck it. Run away. Run away.
- Where are my bees?
740
00:44:04,880 --> 00:44:07,680
Get in... the fucking... cellar!
741
00:44:07,720 --> 00:44:10,440
Ohh...! Scary bee man...
742
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:14,240
- Is that human?
- Oh, fuck me.
743
00:44:14,264 --> 00:44:17,227
Drink the tramp piss.
And let’s get the fuck out of here.
744
00:44:17,252 --> 00:44:19,252
AccessibleCustomerService@sky.uk
745
00:44:19,276 --> 00:44:22,280
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