All language subtitles for All In The Family s06e19 Mikes Move.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranรฎ)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil) Download
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,069 --> 00:00:04,936 ? Boy, the way Glenn Miller played 2 00:00:05,006 --> 00:00:08,040 ? Songs that made the hit parade 3 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:11,210 ? Guys like us, we had it made 4 00:00:11,278 --> 00:00:13,678 ? Those were the days 5 00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:17,116 ? And you knew where you were then 6 00:00:17,184 --> 00:00:20,352 ? Girls were girls and men were men 7 00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,587 ? Mister, we could use a man 8 00:00:22,656 --> 00:00:25,891 ? Like Herbert Hoover again 9 00:00:25,959 --> 00:00:28,660 ? Didn't need no welfare state 10 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,897 ? Everybody pulled his weight 11 00:00:31,965 --> 00:00:36,101 ? Gee, our old LaSalle ran great 12 00:00:36,169 --> 00:00:41,440 ? Those were the days ? 13 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:49,074 -== [ www.OpenSubtitles.com ] ==- 14 00:00:54,588 --> 00:00:57,689 Ma, did I use this many diapers when I was a baby? 15 00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:02,627 Oh, oh, more. I couldn't keep up with you. 16 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:06,998 In my sleep I used to dream I was washin' diapers, 17 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,501 and in your sleep, you kept wettin' 'em. 18 00:01:11,004 --> 00:01:13,038 Honey, honey, I got something to tell you! 19 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:16,674 Wait, wait. First let me kiss you, then I'll tell you. 20 00:01:16,743 --> 00:01:19,511 You have just been kissed by a guy who is gettin' a big promotion, 21 00:01:19,580 --> 00:01:20,812 a more important fellowship. 22 00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,715 Oh, Michael! 23 00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:26,129 I'm on my way, honey, and this is the way I'm gonna kiss you 24 00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:28,586 when I'm a professor. 25 00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:31,789 And this is the way you're gonna get kissed when I'm a dean. 26 00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:33,325 Oh, oh. 27 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:36,561 Oh. 28 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:39,464 I think the dean is the best kisser. 29 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:42,678 Honey, tell me what happened. 30 00:01:42,702 --> 00:01:44,503 Oh, well, it's not definite yet, 31 00:01:44,571 --> 00:01:46,249 but remember when Dean Winslow gave me 32 00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,439 the highest recommendation in Minnesota? 33 00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:52,010 Well, yeah, but that was months ago. You mean it came through? 34 00:01:52,079 --> 00:01:53,778 Minnesota? 35 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:55,791 Yeah, Ma. As soon as we hear from Dean Winslow, 36 00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:58,228 we're gonna pack up all our furniture, hop on a plane, 37 00:01:58,252 --> 00:01:59,284 and off we go. 38 00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,019 To Minnesota? 39 00:02:01,088 --> 00:02:02,153 Yeah. 40 00:02:02,222 --> 00:02:04,990 Ain't that the place where Mary Tyler Moore 41 00:02:05,058 --> 00:02:06,892 keeps losin' her hat? 42 00:02:09,163 --> 00:02:11,174 Ma, it's beautiful there. 43 00:02:11,198 --> 00:02:14,199 Oh, Rhoda and Phyllis didn't stay there. 44 00:02:15,802 --> 00:02:17,713 Honey, honey, you're gonna love it. 45 00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:20,449 Joey's gonna love it, I'm gonna love it, Minnesota's gonna love it. 46 00:02:20,473 --> 00:02:23,033 The Vikings, Fran Tarkenton, here we come! 47 00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:28,780 Minnesota. Oh, my. 48 00:02:28,848 --> 00:02:30,315 What, Ma? 49 00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:32,417 Oh, nothin', nothin'. 50 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:35,120 Uh, how far is Minnesota? 51 00:02:35,189 --> 00:02:37,389 Oh, I... I'm not sure. 52 00:02:37,457 --> 00:02:39,491 Oh, as far as that, huh? 53 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,629 Aw, Ma, it's not the other end of the world, 54 00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:46,898 and I'll call you every week, 55 00:02:46,967 --> 00:02:48,834 and I'll write you every day if you want, 56 00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:51,247 and I'll take lots of pictures of Joey and send 'em to you, 57 00:02:51,271 --> 00:02:52,871 and when he says his first words 58 00:02:52,939 --> 00:02:55,039 you can hear 'em on the telephone. 59 00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:56,975 Oh, well, my. 60 00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:59,945 My grandson is already makin' phone calls 61 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:03,048 and I ain't even seen him crawl. 62 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:07,686 Oh, you'll see him crawl, Ma. I promise you. 63 00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:10,589 Mike and I'll come visit you as often as we can. 64 00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:12,978 Honey, I figured it out. You know what would be best? 65 00:03:13,027 --> 00:03:15,060 If I flew ahead and I found a place to live. 66 00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:17,040 You can stay here and take care of Joey. 67 00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:22,367 I think you better figure out how you're gonna break this to Archie. 68 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:25,603 That's no problem, Ma. We just, uh, pick a good time to tell him. 69 00:03:25,672 --> 00:03:27,973 There ain't never no good time 70 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:31,109 to tell bad news to Archie. 71 00:03:31,178 --> 00:03:33,212 Well, can't you tell him when he comes home? 72 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:36,347 Oh, no. You can't tell him then 'cause he's hungry. 73 00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:39,428 Well, um, how about after he eats? 74 00:03:39,452 --> 00:03:43,121 You can't tell him then 'cause he's watchin' TV. 75 00:03:43,190 --> 00:03:44,423 Then, after TV. 76 00:03:44,491 --> 00:03:47,626 Oh, no. You can't do it then 'cause he's gettin' ready 77 00:03:47,694 --> 00:03:49,828 to go to bed. 78 00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:52,063 Well, Ma, when do you tell Daddy things? 79 00:03:52,132 --> 00:03:55,834 Well, I guess the only time to tell him is when he's asleep, 80 00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:58,903 but then he... he don't remember. 81 00:04:01,207 --> 00:04:03,686 Well, whoop-dee-doo, whoop-dee-doo. Shh, I'll tidy up. 82 00:04:03,710 --> 00:04:06,278 Here we are, back from a little walk in the park. 83 00:04:06,346 --> 00:04:08,546 Me and little Joey boy here. 84 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:11,883 Okay there, little guy. Time to leave your grandpa 85 00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:14,252 and rejoin your daddy over there. 86 00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:17,388 That's a lesson to you, see. All good things come to an end. 87 00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:23,395 Oh. Oh, Joey. Oh! Oh! 88 00:04:23,464 --> 00:04:25,764 I tell you now. Don't be hollerin' at him, will you? 89 00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:28,200 You'll give him a mental sterosis there. 90 00:04:30,136 --> 00:04:34,205 I ain't even seen you crawl yet. 91 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:36,808 Oh. Oh, oh my, 92 00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:38,988 you're so sleepy. Gee, what a dingbat thing to say. 93 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,978 How you gonna see him crawl? 94 00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,481 He ain't even learned how to slobber yet, yeah? 95 00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:49,253 The only thing he knows how to do good, he's been doin'. 96 00:04:49,323 --> 00:04:50,689 So change him. 97 00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:56,561 People have been runnin' away from us for the last three blocks. 98 00:04:56,630 --> 00:05:01,065 I had to keep smiling so as they wouldn't think it was me. 99 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:02,579 I'll change him. 100 00:05:02,603 --> 00:05:07,239 Oh, no, no, no, no. I'll change him, I'll change him. 101 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:11,676 Oh, Joey, did you go poo-poo in the park? 102 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:16,258 Come on, little girl, get rid of the carriage here, huh? 103 00:05:16,282 --> 00:05:19,228 Aw, jeez, the foot. For God's sake. Oh, I'm sorry. 104 00:05:19,252 --> 00:05:21,464 I get through half the traffic in New York 105 00:05:21,488 --> 00:05:24,128 and I gotta get home and get run over in my daughter's livin' room. 106 00:05:25,425 --> 00:05:27,558 Well, did you and Joey have a nice walk in the park? 107 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:31,863 Ah, well, bein' with Joey was nice, but that park makes me sick. 108 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:34,833 It's a disgrace, what's goin' on there. 109 00:05:34,901 --> 00:05:38,770 Young couples, wrestlin' in the grass, 110 00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:43,008 doin' things in public that I don't even dare dream about in private. 111 00:05:44,711 --> 00:05:48,380 You know, you're right, Arch. New York is no place to raise a kid. 112 00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:49,914 Oh, it's awful. 113 00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:53,685 Huh. A kid needs to grow up in a place that has fresh air 114 00:05:53,753 --> 00:05:55,793 and wide-open spaces. Ah, you said it. 115 00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:58,367 A place like, uh... Minnesota. Yeah. 116 00:05:58,391 --> 00:05:59,924 Oh, that's a terrific place. 117 00:05:59,993 --> 00:06:01,470 You like it there, huh? Yeah. 118 00:06:01,494 --> 00:06:03,261 We're movin' there. 119 00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:08,633 You're what? 120 00:06:08,702 --> 00:06:11,247 Daddy, Michael's up for a better job in Minnesota. 121 00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:13,571 Yeah, uh, it means more prestige and a lot more money. 122 00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:17,008 Hold on, hold on, hold on. Wait a minute. What the hell is this? 123 00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:19,655 A guy goes out for a little walk with his grandson 124 00:06:19,679 --> 00:06:23,515 and he comes home and finds that all his loved ones, and you, 125 00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:31,456 are all of a sudden movin' down south to Minnesota? 126 00:06:33,794 --> 00:06:35,961 Arch, think of Joey. 127 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:39,397 Think of how much better it'll be for him away from New York. 128 00:06:39,465 --> 00:06:41,711 What the hell's the matter with New York? It's God's country. 129 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:45,536 If it wasn't, he wouldn't have put me here. 130 00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:48,084 Come on, Arch, what about all the dirt and the filth? 131 00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:49,319 And what about all those things 132 00:06:49,343 --> 00:06:51,487 that the couples are doin' in the grass? 133 00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:54,412 They do the same things in Minnesota. 134 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:58,884 Nobody sees 'em at it out there 'cause the grass is higher. 135 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,030 Daddy, it's not your decision to make. 136 00:07:01,054 --> 00:07:03,299 Now, wait a minute, wait a minute. Listen, listen, little girl. 137 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,690 First of all, first of all, get away from him. 138 00:07:05,759 --> 00:07:08,159 I wanna talk to you. Get over here. 139 00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:10,528 Get over there. Come on. 140 00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:14,231 Now, listen, what do you wanna do? 141 00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,734 Do you want to break your darling sweet mother's heart? 142 00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:19,537 Oh, Archie... Shut up. 143 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,726 Break the family up this way? No. 144 00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,441 Come on, Arch. 145 00:07:23,509 --> 00:07:24,954 You're the one that's breakin' the family up. 146 00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,523 Why are you taking Gloria and Joey away from us? 147 00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:30,114 Because a wife's place is with her husband, 148 00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,661 and a kid's place is with his parents. 149 00:07:31,685 --> 00:07:34,018 "A kid's place is with the parents" is right. 150 00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,788 That's why Gloria's gonna stay with her parents, us. 151 00:07:36,856 --> 00:07:38,367 Daddy. Don't grab her. 152 00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:39,691 That's my daughter. 153 00:07:39,759 --> 00:07:41,938 I'm not happy about having to move. 154 00:07:41,962 --> 00:07:43,962 No, I believe it. It's his fault. 155 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:47,899 But if that's where Michael's future is, that's where I belong. 156 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,535 Ain't you got nothin' to say about this? 157 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:53,004 Well, I... Ah, too long, too long. 158 00:07:53,740 --> 00:07:55,673 The future! 159 00:07:55,742 --> 00:07:58,254 Always about the future. The future's what's wrong with the world today. 160 00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:01,579 There's too much future. There ain't enough past. 161 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:05,083 People rootin' themselves up, movin' from one city to another. 162 00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:07,085 What is that? 163 00:08:07,153 --> 00:08:09,265 Kids bein' raised by strangers. The mothers are out workin'. 164 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,835 The kids never know the aunts, the uncles, the grandpas. 165 00:08:11,859 --> 00:08:15,527 Nothing like that. Stay out of this. 166 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,774 That's the trouble. They never get to know old people. 167 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:22,667 And you know why? 'Cause they don't see 'em till they start muggin' 'em. 168 00:08:22,736 --> 00:08:24,747 Look, Arch, I know how you feel. 169 00:08:24,771 --> 00:08:26,704 You know how I feel? 170 00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:29,941 Let me tell you somethin', wise guy. Get away from here. 171 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:31,876 One of these days, 172 00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:34,557 my little grandson is gonna come walkin' up to you 173 00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:37,715 with tears streamin' out of his little eyes, and he's gonna say to you, 174 00:08:37,784 --> 00:08:39,150 "Meathead, 175 00:08:43,557 --> 00:08:45,790 "how is it that I never had the advantage 176 00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:48,826 "of wise learnin' at my grandpa's knees?" 177 00:08:48,895 --> 00:08:51,262 And you're gonna have to tell him the truth, buddy. 178 00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:52,997 He was kidnapped. 179 00:08:54,500 --> 00:08:55,778 You're not gonna make me feel guilty! 180 00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,346 You're a kidnapper. I don't feel guilty! 181 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:01,106 You're a kidnapper! Don't stay here, Edith! 182 00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:03,808 Good night. 183 00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,344 You shouldn't feel guilty. 184 00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:08,479 You ain't doin' nothin' wrong. 185 00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:13,117 You're Joey's father, and you've got a right to kidnap your own son. 186 00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:19,657 You see, Archie and me gotta get used to the idea 187 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:23,494 that we won't be seein' you no more. 188 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,931 And we won't be watchin' little Joey grow up. 189 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,532 Edith! 190 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,570 Now, don't you feel guilty. 191 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,548 Right? 192 00:09:46,052 --> 00:09:47,885 Come here, come here. 193 00:09:49,523 --> 00:09:50,789 Sit down. 194 00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:54,358 Honey, 195 00:09:56,196 --> 00:10:01,666 this is a great opportunity for us. Think about it. 196 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:06,071 New job, new friends, new adventures. 197 00:10:06,139 --> 00:10:10,041 That's somethin' to be really happy about, right? 198 00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,309 Uh-huh. 199 00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,146 Aren't you happy? 200 00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,982 Uh-huh. 201 00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:20,051 Honey, uh, "Uh-huh" is not happy. 202 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:23,622 Happy is, "Ha-ha-ha! Hey!" See the difference? 203 00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:24,923 Uh-huh. 204 00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:28,471 Don't you wanna go to Minnesota? 205 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,662 Oh, sure I do. 206 00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:35,065 But don't you see how much we mean to Ma and Daddy? 207 00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:38,454 I don't think I mean that much to your father. 208 00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:41,839 Well, Joey does. 209 00:10:41,908 --> 00:10:44,008 Oh, Archie'll get over it. 210 00:10:44,076 --> 00:10:45,810 Honey, 211 00:10:45,878 --> 00:10:49,580 let me hear you say, "Michael, I'm with you." 212 00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:53,751 Michael, I'm with you. 213 00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:59,190 Uh... Show me some real enthusiasm. 214 00:11:00,527 --> 00:11:02,527 Michael, I'm with you. 215 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:07,832 That's better. 216 00:11:19,045 --> 00:11:20,244 Mike. 217 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,625 Oh. Hey, John. Can I see you tomorrow? Sure. 218 00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,359 Okay. Hey, how about lunch today? 219 00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:28,452 Sure. Say, I heard you were up for that job in Minnesota. 220 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:31,055 Congratulations. Oh, thanks a lot. 221 00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:33,124 I'm up for that same job. 222 00:11:34,460 --> 00:11:37,628 Really? Gee, I... I didn't know that, uh... 223 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,765 Well, congratulations to you, too. 224 00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:43,768 I hate competing with a friend. I wish it was somebody else. 225 00:11:43,837 --> 00:11:47,071 Yeah, me, too. But whatever happens, we'll still have lunch today, huh? 226 00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:49,040 Right. 227 00:11:49,108 --> 00:11:51,921 Yeah, well, I guess I'm gonna have some pretty stiff competition. 228 00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,745 I mean, uh, 229 00:11:53,813 --> 00:11:56,693 you're qualified and personable and bright and, uh... 230 00:11:57,516 --> 00:11:58,850 And black? 231 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:03,121 Uh, yeah. Well, that... that too. Uh... 232 00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:05,790 And you're thinkin' that they may pick me over you 233 00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,558 because of my color? 234 00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:10,861 Well, John, you know as well as I do that, uh, 235 00:12:10,931 --> 00:12:14,043 according to the law, any university applying for a Federal grant 236 00:12:14,067 --> 00:12:16,367 has to hire minorities. So, in this situation, 237 00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:20,238 your color isn't exactly gonna hurt you. 238 00:12:20,306 --> 00:12:21,773 Ain't that a switch? 239 00:12:34,988 --> 00:12:38,590 Honey, you're probably worrying for no reason. 240 00:12:38,658 --> 00:12:43,094 I mean, there's no guarantee they're gonna pick John Kasten over you. 241 00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:45,797 No, but it's a good bet. 242 00:12:45,866 --> 00:12:47,198 Just because he's black? 243 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:51,335 Yes. Damn it, it's not fair. 244 00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:55,239 You mean it's not fair for guys like Jon Kasten to get an even break? 245 00:12:55,308 --> 00:12:57,175 But why shouldn't I get an even break? 246 00:12:57,243 --> 00:12:58,654 I mean, why should it be held against me 247 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:01,913 just because he was lucky enough to be born black? 248 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:07,852 Did you hear what you just said? That was crazy. 249 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:10,688 You know who you're starting to sound like? Daddy. 250 00:13:15,261 --> 00:13:18,863 Don't you ever say a terrible thing like that to me. 251 00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:21,577 Not even your father ever said anything that awful to me. 252 00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:24,168 Sorry. One more and we're through. 253 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:27,572 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 254 00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:32,543 Suppose I was the paperboy over here? 255 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,393 Come over here 'cause I want to read you something 256 00:13:37,417 --> 00:13:39,284 right out of the alnamac here. 257 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:40,632 I've been lookin' up Minnesota, 258 00:13:40,687 --> 00:13:42,754 and I found out a few things in here. 259 00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:46,090 Now, this is a hellhole you're taking my family to. 260 00:13:48,028 --> 00:13:49,693 You know what they call Minnesota? 261 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:52,330 They call it the Gopher State. You know why? 262 00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:55,333 There's a trillion gophers out there. 263 00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:59,503 They all live in holes. They call 'em gophers' holes. 264 00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:02,140 So, little Joey, takin' his first few steps, 265 00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:06,544 he breaks his legs in gophers' holes. You want that? 266 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:08,291 Gloria, we gotta get a chain for that door. 267 00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:10,481 Yeah. Wait a minute, wait a minute here. 268 00:14:10,550 --> 00:14:12,383 Here's some more about Minnesota. 269 00:14:12,452 --> 00:14:16,120 In the first place, you was wrong. It ain't down south at all. 270 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,322 Minnesota is up north. 271 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:22,993 Do you know that the snow is belly-high to a big Indian up there? 272 00:14:23,062 --> 00:14:26,363 You know it's 40 degrees below zero up there sometime? 273 00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:29,099 Little Joey could freeze off his fingers and his toes, 274 00:14:29,168 --> 00:14:31,835 not to mention nothin' more important. 275 00:14:33,239 --> 00:14:34,972 Don't laugh over here. 276 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,553 Look, Arch, before you get yourself all worked up, 277 00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,288 we may not even be goin' to Minnesota. 278 00:14:39,312 --> 00:14:42,124 There's somebody else up for the job and he happens to be black. 279 00:14:42,148 --> 00:14:45,750 Oh, well, then you're off to Minnesota. A black guy ain't goin' nowheres. 280 00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:49,459 Arch, uh, these days colleges are hirin' blacks over whites. 281 00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:57,328 Well, it is high time. 282 00:15:02,135 --> 00:15:06,504 Too long, colored guys ain't been gettin' an even break there. 283 00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:10,374 Too long, they've been gettin' the short end of the totem pole. 284 00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,811 I don't believe it. 285 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,747 Well, you better believe it. You better believe it. 286 00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:20,084 You shouldn't go out there and take a job away from that guy. 287 00:15:20,152 --> 00:15:23,621 Oh, it turns out that you're the guy against the colored. 288 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,423 I never was. 289 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,694 I want to go on record as sayin' something right here and now. 290 00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:32,462 If it was up to me, I'd send every colored guy in New York 291 00:15:32,531 --> 00:15:33,998 to Minnesota. 292 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,003 That I believe. 293 00:15:40,807 --> 00:15:42,351 You know somethin'? Hello? 294 00:15:42,375 --> 00:15:44,319 I am shocked with you. I am shocked with you! Yeah... Hey... 295 00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:45,721 Will you get out of here? Daddy, he's on the phone. 296 00:15:45,745 --> 00:15:47,785 Your husband over there, I'm shocked with this guy 297 00:15:47,847 --> 00:15:49,413 'cause he happens to be a bigot. 298 00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,093 What? He's a bigot? 299 00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,228 A bigot, yes. And that's the same guy that used to be marchin' 300 00:15:53,252 --> 00:15:56,287 in all the peace riots there. That's right. 301 00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:59,190 That bigot over there won't give an even break to a spade. 302 00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:03,239 Don't shush me again. Thank... Thank you very much, goodbye. 303 00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:05,474 Honey. Honey, that was Dean Winslow's secretary. 304 00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,843 He wants to see me in his office first thing Monday morning. 305 00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:09,144 I think I got it! Oh! 306 00:16:09,168 --> 00:16:11,247 I think I beat John Kasten out of that job! Oh! 307 00:16:11,271 --> 00:16:14,705 Aw, listen to this. I can't believe my ears. 308 00:16:14,774 --> 00:16:19,110 A white guy standin' there, bloatin' over taking a job from a colored guy. 309 00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:23,781 That ain't the American way, buddy. No, sirree. 310 00:16:23,849 --> 00:16:27,751 Listen here, Professor. You're the one that needs an American history lesson. 311 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,122 You don't know nothin' about Lady Liberty standin' there in the harbor 312 00:16:31,190 --> 00:16:34,792 with her torch on high, screamin' out to all the nations in the world, 313 00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:38,062 "Send me your poor, your deadbeats, your filthy." 314 00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:41,443 And all 'em nations sent 'em in here. 315 00:16:41,467 --> 00:16:43,434 They come swarming in like ants. 316 00:16:43,502 --> 00:16:47,738 Their Spanish PRs from the Caribouan there, 317 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:50,774 your Japs, your Chinamen, your Krauts and your Hebes, 318 00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,945 and your English fags! 319 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:57,248 All of 'em come in here! And they're all free to live 320 00:16:57,317 --> 00:17:01,085 in their own separate sections 321 00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:05,622 where they feel safe, and they'd bust your head if you go in there! 322 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:08,425 That's what makes America great, buddy! 323 00:17:17,604 --> 00:17:21,205 I think we just heard Archie Bunker's Bicentennial Minute. 324 00:17:30,016 --> 00:17:31,696 John. Hey. 325 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:34,730 I didn't expect to see you here, Mike. 326 00:17:34,754 --> 00:17:36,620 I... I didn't expect to see you either. 327 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:38,667 I thought when they called me in here, I had the job. 328 00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:39,802 So did I. 329 00:17:39,826 --> 00:17:42,626 Last night, I took my wife out to celebrate. 330 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:46,297 Sure hope I didn't blow 26 bucks on your good luck. 331 00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:50,435 I... I didn't spend a dime on yours. We stayed home. 332 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,704 It's not that funny, it's just... Yeah, I know. 333 00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:57,808 I'm just as nervous as you are. Maybe more. 334 00:17:57,877 --> 00:18:00,478 I mean, you've been teaching longer than I have, 335 00:18:00,547 --> 00:18:02,057 and... and that's gonna weigh in your favor. 336 00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,725 All right, John. Don't count yourself out. 337 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,909 You know you got a big advantage. 338 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,020 But we've always had an advantage. 339 00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,389 Yeah, like, when they needed slaves. 340 00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:15,993 They picked a black man every time. 341 00:18:16,061 --> 00:18:17,973 John, you know what I'm talkin' about. 342 00:18:17,997 --> 00:18:21,098 Sure. Reverse discrimination. 343 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,500 All right. So... So, be honest. 344 00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:25,980 If you got this job, and you knew that the main reason 345 00:18:26,004 --> 00:18:27,924 was because you were black, how would you feel? 346 00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:30,140 Beautiful. 347 00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:32,087 Did any white man ever turn down a job 348 00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:35,046 knowin' that the main reason he got it was because he was white? 349 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:42,553 Well, let me answer that by saying, uh... 350 00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,923 I can't think of an answer. 351 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,291 Ah, good morning. 352 00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:50,561 Morning, morning. John, Michael. Hi. 353 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:53,598 You know, it's good to see you both smiling. Sit, sit. 354 00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:56,033 Now look, I've put in a call to Minnesota 355 00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,968 to get their decision. 356 00:18:58,037 --> 00:19:01,305 And I wanted you both here, not so much to congratulate the winner, 357 00:19:01,374 --> 00:19:03,907 as to console the loser, because I'm fond of you both. 358 00:19:03,976 --> 00:19:08,078 And frankly, I'm glad that I don't have to make this decision. 359 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,659 So we're waiting for a phone call, huh? Yeah. 360 00:19:10,683 --> 00:19:13,617 Last time I felt like this, my wife was gonna have a baby. 361 00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:15,998 Except that was a breeze. She did all the suffering. 362 00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:21,158 Yes? Oh, thank you, Harriet. This is it. 363 00:19:21,226 --> 00:19:22,460 This is it. 364 00:19:24,396 --> 00:19:26,096 Hello? 365 00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:27,364 Hello, Howard. 366 00:19:27,433 --> 00:19:29,333 It's Howard. 367 00:19:29,402 --> 00:19:31,701 Huh? Oh, the weather's fine here. 368 00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:33,136 How is it in Minnesota? 369 00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:35,272 It's Howard in Minnesota. 370 00:19:35,341 --> 00:19:38,809 Now look, Howard, I've got two very, very nervous instructors here. 371 00:19:38,878 --> 00:19:40,744 What's your decision? 372 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,180 Uh-huh. 373 00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:49,987 Uh-huh-huh. 374 00:19:51,524 --> 00:19:54,625 All right, Howard. He's a good man. 375 00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:57,038 He's gonna be a fine addition to your staff. 376 00:19:57,062 --> 00:20:00,731 He didn't say, "A credit to his race." So it must be you. 377 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,900 Well, yes, I know. I'm losing a good instructor. 378 00:20:02,968 --> 00:20:05,135 But what can you do? I like to see talent move up. 379 00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,438 All right. All right, Howard. Take care. 380 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,455 Michael. Yeah. 381 00:20:13,479 --> 00:20:15,056 I'm delighted you're still going to be with us. That's terrible. 382 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,248 John, congratulations. We... We're sorry to lose you. 383 00:20:18,317 --> 00:20:20,061 Oh, thank you, Dean. Thank you very much. 384 00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:22,263 Oh, uh, yeah. Hey, John, congratulations. 385 00:20:22,287 --> 00:20:24,722 Thanks, buddy. Well, you'll excuse me, 386 00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:26,702 I have to break the news to my wife. 387 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,627 Thanks again, Dean. And take it easy, Mike. 388 00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:34,998 Well, I... 389 00:20:35,067 --> 00:20:38,235 Guess I better be goin', too. I got a 9:00 class. 390 00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,637 Suicide Prevention. 391 00:20:40,706 --> 00:20:42,305 Wait a minute, Michael. Wait a minute. 392 00:20:42,375 --> 00:20:43,975 I said I was here to console the loser. 393 00:20:44,042 --> 00:20:46,388 Uh, that... that's all right, Dean. I... I don't need any consolation. 394 00:20:46,412 --> 00:20:49,358 I understand why John got the job. I mean, 395 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:50,726 that's the way things are today. 396 00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:54,051 Michael, look, when you can't decide between two men, 397 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:57,788 it is important that the minority candidate gets the job. 398 00:20:57,857 --> 00:21:01,092 Now, we know that justice should be perfectly balanced, right? 399 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,038 But that hasn't always been the case. 400 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,562 'Cause every time you favor one group, 401 00:21:05,632 --> 00:21:08,132 an injustice is done to another. 402 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,200 Now, how would... How would you say 403 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:13,403 the scales have been balanced for the blacks? 404 00:21:13,472 --> 00:21:17,174 Well, lousy, but they shouldn't be balanced against anybody. 405 00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:19,110 That's true. True. 406 00:21:19,178 --> 00:21:22,257 But now, they may have to be for a while, because they've been tipped in our favor 407 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,547 for so long. 408 00:21:23,616 --> 00:21:25,916 Now just possibly, possibly, 409 00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:28,853 it may have to rock both ways 410 00:21:28,921 --> 00:21:31,588 until we arrive at equal opportunity for everyone. 411 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:36,460 Yeah, well, thanks for the recommendation. 412 00:21:36,529 --> 00:21:38,962 Michael, wait a minute. 413 00:21:39,031 --> 00:21:41,232 You know, you've taken this very well. 414 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,778 I've got something here that's gonna make you feel a little better. 415 00:21:43,802 --> 00:21:46,203 I... I... I couldn't. Yes, yes, kick it. 416 00:21:46,272 --> 00:21:48,483 Come on, kick it. Kick it. Oh, Dean. 417 00:21:48,507 --> 00:21:50,975 Dean, really, I... I, look, I... I'm fine. 418 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,877 I was a little upset before, 419 00:21:52,945 --> 00:21:56,647 but I... I think I'm over it now. 420 00:22:27,246 --> 00:22:29,925 You better hurry up. I made the reservation for 7:30. 421 00:22:29,949 --> 00:22:33,109 Ma, Joey's next feeding is at 8:00. Yeah, all right. 422 00:22:33,152 --> 00:22:35,792 And, Daddy, don't pick him up every time he moves. 423 00:22:35,822 --> 00:22:38,366 Ah, come on, little girl, don't tell me nothin' about babies, will you? 424 00:22:38,390 --> 00:22:40,524 I was a father long before you was born. 425 00:22:40,593 --> 00:22:43,193 Don't worry about nothing. 426 00:22:43,262 --> 00:22:46,196 Just have a good time with the Kastens. 427 00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:50,200 I think it's so nice of you, Mike, to ask him out to dinner, 428 00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:52,870 especially since he got the job. 429 00:22:52,939 --> 00:22:56,640 That shows you're a good loser. Ain't he, Archie? 430 00:22:56,709 --> 00:22:58,742 Oh, yeah, he's a born loser. 431 00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:04,348 But I gotta say this for him, he's a pretty good sport there. 432 00:23:04,416 --> 00:23:07,128 You're really gonna take the colored guy and his wife out for dinner, huh? 433 00:23:07,152 --> 00:23:08,986 Sure, why not? He's still a friend. 434 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,800 Yeah, yeah. Well, listen. You're not the only sport around here. 435 00:23:11,824 --> 00:23:14,792 You know what I was gonna do, if youse really went to Minnesota? 436 00:23:14,860 --> 00:23:17,472 I was gonna pay for the plane fare for all three of you. 437 00:23:17,496 --> 00:23:19,430 You'd do that for me? 438 00:23:19,498 --> 00:23:21,810 Yeah, why not? You're the father of my grandchild, ain't you? 439 00:23:21,834 --> 00:23:24,446 You're the husband of my daughter there, ain't you? 440 00:23:24,470 --> 00:23:26,269 You mean, like... like, one of the family. 441 00:23:26,338 --> 00:23:28,171 No, no, jeez. 442 00:23:29,942 --> 00:23:31,875 But you're close. 443 00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:33,310 Thanks a lot. See you later. 444 00:23:33,379 --> 00:23:35,190 - Have a good time. - Good night. 445 00:23:35,214 --> 00:23:36,425 So long. We'll be home early, Ma. Good night, Daddy. 446 00:23:36,449 --> 00:23:39,483 Oh, you stay out as late as you want to. 447 00:23:39,552 --> 00:23:42,052 Oh. 448 00:23:42,121 --> 00:23:44,121 Archie. Oh. 449 00:23:44,190 --> 00:23:45,556 Oh, gee. 450 00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:49,426 Oh, that was so sweet of you. Edith... 451 00:23:49,495 --> 00:23:52,663 Offerin' to pay their plane fare. 452 00:23:52,731 --> 00:23:54,276 Yeah, it was kind of sweet of me, huh? 453 00:23:54,300 --> 00:23:57,934 Oh, my. Did you really mean that? 454 00:23:58,003 --> 00:23:59,803 Certainly not. 455 00:24:02,007 --> 00:24:04,819 But when, uh, bein' generous don't cost you nothin', 456 00:24:04,843 --> 00:24:07,289 well, what the hell, you might as well go all the way, huh? 457 00:24:07,313 --> 00:24:08,679 Oh. 458 00:24:33,639 --> 00:24:35,617 All in the Family was recorded on tape 459 00:24:35,641 --> 00:24:37,475 before a live audience. 460 00:24:38,305 --> 00:25:38,450 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org 461 00:25:38,500 --> 00:25:43,050 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36883

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.