Original subtitles

? BOY, THE WAY GLENN MILLER PLAYED ?

? SONGS THAT MADE THE HIT PARADE ?

? GUYS LIKE US, WE HAD IT MADE ?

? THOSE WERE THE DAYS ?

? AND YOU KNEW WHERE YOU WERE THEN ?

? GIRLS WERE GIRLS AND MEN WERE MEN ?

? MISTER, WE COULD USE A MAN ?

? LIKE HERBERT HOOVER AGAIN ?

? DIDN'T NEED NO WELFARE STATES ?

? EVERYBODY PULLED HIS WEIGHT ?

? GEE, OUR OLD LASALLE RAN GREAT ?

? THOSE WERE ?

? THE DAYS ?

-== [ www.OpenSubtitles.org ] ==-

YOU KNOW, IT'D BE AWFUL NICE TO HAVE A COLD BEER OVER HERE.

GUESS, UH, NOBODY HEARD ME OVER THERE, HUH?

THERE'S PLENTY IN THE REFRIG.

GEE, SOME DAUGHTERS I KNOW

WOULD BE GLAD TO GET THEIR DADDIES A COLD BEER.

AND SOME DADDIES I KNOW WOULD BE GLAD

TO GO WITH THEIR WIVES TO A FAMILY WEDDING.

TO ALL OF THAT.

WELL, I DON'T THINK IT WAS VERY NICE OF YOU

TO LET MA GO TO SCRANTON ALL BY HERSELF.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

HUH, WHAT ABOUT ME?

YOUR MOTHER KNOWS DAMN WELL I DON'T LIKE WEDDINGS

EVER SINCE THE LAST ONE I WENT TO.

THAT WAS MINE!

CASE CLOSED.

NO, THE CASE IS NOT CLOSED.

AND NOT JUST MA'S FEELINGS, WHAT ABOUT THE BRIDE?

HUH?

AND WHAT ABOUT... WHAT ABOUT MA'S AUNT CLARA AND HER AUNT ROSE?

OH, TO HELL WITH THEM. THEY'RE UGLY.

HELLO?

HI, MA. DID YOU HAVE A NICE TRIP?

OH, TOO BAD.

DADDY, YOU WANNA TALK TO MA?

WELL, DOES SHE WANNA TALK TO ME?

NO, I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOUR FATHER, GLORIA.

WELL, HE MADE ME COME DOWN HERE

TO A FAMILY WEDDING ALONE.

AND I'M HERE ALL BY MYSELF.

I-I-IF HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME,

TELL HIM HE SHOULD HAVE COME WITH ME.

NO, THAT'S ALL, GLORIA. GOOD-BYE.

OH, WHO IS IT?

GUESS WHO?

GUESS WHO?

AUNT CLARA AND AUNT ROSE!

OH, YOU GUESSED.

EDITH!

ROSE! EDITH!

OH, I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YA!

SIT DOWN.

MY, AIN'T THIS A LOVELY ROOM.

WE WOULD'VE ASKED YOU TO STAY WITH US, EDITH,

BUT OUT PLACE IS SUCH A MADHOUSE.

OH, YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.

MY POOR GRACE IS A REGULAR NERVOUS BRIDE.

YOU JUST SAY HELLO TO HER AND SHE BURSTS INTO TEARS.

OH, HER FACE IS GONNA BE SO PUFFY BY TOMORROW,

SHE'LL NEED AN EXTRA VEIL.

OH!

OH, MY, I'M SO HAPPY FOR HER.

WHERE ARE THEY GOIN' ON THEIR HONEYMOON?

OH, ANY PLACE HE WANTS TO TAKE HER.

WHEN YOU'RE GRACE'S AGE,

YOU'LL SETTLE FOR THE GREYHOUND BUS TERMINAL.

I WANNA ASK YOU SOMETHIN'.

DO YOU THINK THIS DRESS IS ALL RIGHT FOR THE WEDDING?

WELL, IT'S VERY NICE, EDITH. JUST PLAIN ENOUGH.

THE LAST TIME I WORE THIS

WAS MY 26TH WEDDING ANNIVERSARY, LAST YEAR.

26 YEARS?

WHY, IT JUST SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY I SANG AT YOUR WEDDING.

YEAH.

? OH, PROMISE ME THAT SOMEDAY... ?

WE REMEMBER IT, CLARA.

YEAH, ARCHIE SAID HE'D NEVER FORGET IT.

HOW IS ARCHIE?

OH, UH, JUST THE SAME.

ARCHIE NEVER CHANGES.

WHAT A SHAME!

WELL, HOW IS YOUR HUMPHREY, CLARA?

OH, HUMPHREY'S BEEN PROMOTED TO FROZEN FOODS.

AND HE'S GETTIN' A NEW HAIR TRANSPLANT.

HIS HEAD LOOKS LIKE KOJAK WITH 5 O'CLOCK SHADOW.

WHO ELSE IS COMING TO THE WEDDING?

ALL THE CLAN, SEE.

THE PINCHMEYERS ARE COMIN'.

WILL COUSIN ROY BE THERE?

COUSIN ROY?

COUSIN... OF COURSE.

YOU WERE ALWAYS SWEET ON HIM, WEREN'T YOU, EDITH?

OH, NO.

NO, I WAS... NOW, COME ON NOW, EDITH.

WHY, EVERY TIME YOU PLAYED "POST OFFICE",

HE ALWAYS HAD SPECIAL DELIVERIES FOR YOU.

NO, SOME OF THEM WAS JUST AIR MAILS.

ALL I EVER GOT WAS "RETURN TO SENDER."

OH, YOU KNOW THAT, UH, ROY'S WIFE PASSED AWAY 3 YEARS AGO?

OH, YEAH, I HEARD.

POOR MAN. BUT I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF HE GOT MARRIED AGAIN, REAL SOON.

NO, THESE DAYS MEN DON'T BUY.

THEY RENT.

WE GOTTA BE GOIN'.

YOU KNOW, THE NIGHT AIR'S NOT GOOD FOR MY VOICE.

THE DAY AIR ISN'T SO GOOD EITHER.

YOU'RE NOT SINGING AT THIS WEDDING, CLARA.

I AM, TOO, SINGING.

YOU ARE NOT SINGING. YOU ARE A JINX.

EVERY WEDDING YOU'VE EVER SUNG AT ENDED IN DIVORCE.

THAT AIN'T TRUE. I SANG AT ARCHIE AND EDITH'S WEDDIN'.

THAT'S EVEN WORSE. IT ENDED IN MARRIAGE.

BYE, SEE YOU TOMORROW.

YEAH, SEE YOU IN CHURCH.

THANK YOU.

WOULD MADAME CARE FOR A COCKTAIL?

OH, NO, THANK YOU.

UH, WOULD MADAME CARE TO ORDER NOW?

JUST A MINUTE.

WOULD MADAME CARE TO GIVE ME A KISS?

ROY!

OH, ROY JOHNSON!

EDITH.

IT'S SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AFTER ALL THESE YEARS!

OH! ME, TOO!

OH, YOU SURE FOOLED ME!

WHEN YOU ASKED FOR A KISS, I WAS GONNA CALL THE MANAGER.

OH, I'M... I'M GLAD YOU DIDN'T, EDITH.

HE'S A LOUSY KISSER.

ROY, YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED A BIT!

NEITHER HAVE YOU. CAN... CAN I GET MY COFFEE AND JOIN YOU?

OH, SURE!

WELL, LITTLE COUSIN EDITH.

REMEMBER HOW YOU USED TO

COME UP TO SCRANTON EVERY SUMMER?

AND YOU TOOK ME TO THE MOVIES

AND THEN FOR ICE CREAM AFTERWARDS.

WELL, NOT JUST ME. LOTS OF THE GUYS TOOK YOU OUT.

OH, BUT YOU WAS DIFFERENT. YOU PAID.

DID YOU COME TO THE WEDDING ALONE?

YEAH.

BUT HOW HAVE YOU BEEN, ROY?

ARE YOU STILL MAKIN' THINGS WITH YOUR HANDS?

MMM, YEAH, YEAH.

STILL SOME PEOPLE AROUND WHO APPRECIATE

FINE CABINETMAKING, THANK GOODNESS.

I STILL HAVE THE JEWEL BOX YOU MADE FOR ME.

OH, NO.

OH, SURE.

COURSE I AIN'T GOT NO JEWELS TO PUT IN IT,

SO I USE IT FOR MY HAIRPINS.

I STILL GOT SOMETHING ELSE YOU GAVE ME, TOO!

OH, ROY. I WAS WONDERIN' ALL DAY YESTERDAY

IF I'D SEE YOU HERE.

UH, UH, BECAUSE, OF COURSE I EXPECTED ALL THE RELATIVES

WOULD COME TO THE WEDDING.

WELL, WHAT IS IT? LET ME SEE.

OH, YEAH. REMEMBER WHEN YOU TOOK ME

TO STEEPLECHASE PARK AND WE WENT ON "THE WHIP?"

AND YOU FELL AGAINST ME AND SQUISHED MY ESKIMO PIE?

YEAH!

HERE IT IS!

IT'S THE RING YOU GAVE ME OUT OF YOUR CRACKER JACK BOX.

OF COURSE!

I KEEP IT IN YOUR JEWEL BOX, UNDER THE HAIRPINS.

ALL THIS TIME! GEE, WHIZ.

WE HAD A LOT OF FUN TOGETHER, DIDN'T WE? OH.

YOU REMEMBER PLAYING "POST OFFICE"?

NO.

WELL, YEAH, MAYBE A LITTLE.

LOOK, EDITH, SINCE YOU'RE ALONE AND I'M ALONE,

WHY DON'T I TAKE YOU TO THE WEDDING TOMORROW?

WELL...

YEAH, I GUESS IT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT,

SINCE WE'RE COUSINS.

WE'RE NOT REALLY COUSINS, EDITH.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

SURE, WE USED TO CALL EACH OTHER "COUSIN",

BUT I KNOW WE'RE NOT FIRST COUSINS

BECAUSE MY AUNT AND UNCLE HAD 3 KIDS

AND YOU WEREN'T ONE OF THEM.

WELL, THEN WE MUST BE SECOND COUSINS.

NO, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

OH, WELL, THEN I GUESS IT'S THIRD OR FOURTH COUSINS.

NO, NO, A THIRD COUSIN WOULD BE ONCE REMOVED FROM A SECOND COUSIN,

AND A FOURTH COUSIN WOULD BE A SECOND COUSIN TWICE REMOVED.

TWICE REMOVED FROM WHAT?

FROM THE FIRST COUSIN.

LOOK, YOUR AUNT CLARA IS YOUR MOTHER'S SISTER, RIGHT?

NO, AUNT CLARA IS MY FATHER'S SISTER.

THE ONLY AUNT I COULD HAVE ON MY MOTHER'S SIDE

WOULD BE MY UNCLE HERMAN'S WIFE.

AND HE NEVER HAD NO WIFE.

SO, THE ONLY THING I GOT FROM MY MOTHER

WAS AN UNCLE.

BUT, YOU SEE, YOUR AUNT CLARA'S SISTER, ROSE,

WAS MARRIED TO MY MOTHER'S BROTHER-IN-LAW.

SO THAT MADE HER MY AUNT ROSE BY MARRIAGE, SEE?

WELL, THEN, WHAT DOES THAT MAKE US?

TOTAL STRANGERS.

YOU MEAN THERE AIN'T NO BLOOD BETWEEN US?

NO, NOT A DROP.

OH, THAT'S TERRIBLE.

WHY? IT DOESN'T CHANGE ANYTHING, EDITH.

WELL...

IF WE AIN'T COUSINS, WHAT ARE WE?

WE'RE JUST

VERY GOOD FRIENDS.

OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, GLORIA.

IT'S LIKE OLD HOME WEEK UP HERE,

WITH AUNT ROSE AND AUNT CLARA AND EVERYBODY.

YEAH. I'M GONNA STAY HERE TONIGHT

AND I'M GONNA TAKE THE BUS HOME TOMORROW.

OH, THERE'S SOMEBODY AT THE DOOR, GLORIA.

I GOTTA GO NOW, GOOD-BYE.

COMING, ROY!

IT'S NOT ROY, IT'S ROSE.

WHAT ABOUT ME?

AND CLARA.

OH! YOU LOOK LOVELY!

EDITH.

WELL, EDITH,

I'VE GOT SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT TO ASK YOU.

EDITH, CAN I SING?

WELL, SURE, IT'S A FREE COUNTRY.

I DON'T MEAN, "CAN I SING?"

I MEAN, "CAN I SING?"

OH! WELL...

EDITH, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN AFRAID TO TELL THE TRUTH

EVEN WHEN IT HURTS.

NOW, DON'T TRY TO INFLUENCE HER.

WHAT'S YOUR ANSWER, EDITH?

WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?

THE QUESTION IS:

YOU THINK I'M A VERY GOOD SINGER, DON'T YOU?

EDITH, THE TRUTH.

WELL, ARCHIE SAYS THAT I GET MY VOICE FROM YOU, CLARA.

THE WHOLE FAMILY EXPECTS ME TO SING.

CLARA, THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN EXPECTATION AND DREAD.

IT'S UP TO YOU, EDITH.

DO I SING AT THE WEDDING?

WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY, EDITH?

WELL...

YOU WANNA SING, DON'T YOU, CLARA?

WITH ALL MY HEART.

AND, ROSE, YOU DON'T WANNA HEAR HER SING.

WITH ALL MY HEART.

WELL, THEN, IT'S SIMPLE!

CLARA, YOU SING, AND, ROSE, YOU DON'T LISTEN!

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

I'LL START WITH OH, PROMISE ME.

OVER MY DEAD BODY.

FOR THAT, I'LL DO ROCK OF AGES.

? OH, PROMISE ME ?

? THAT SOMEDAY YOU AND I ?

?

COMING, ROY.

HI, EDITH.

HELLO, ROY.

I'LL GET MY COAT.

NO HURRY, EDITH. WE'VE STILL GOT ABOUT A HALF AN HOUR.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT.

ARE YOU GONNA ASK ME TO COME IN?

OH, SURE, COME ON IN.

HEY, THAT'S A PRETTY HAT YOU HAVE.

THANK YOU.

I THINK IT'S A LITTLE OUT-OF-DATE

BUT I GOT IT AT A SALE.

I'VE ALWAYS LIKED YOU IN A HAT.

YOU'VE GOT A HAT KIND OF HEAD, YOU KNOW.

THANK YOU.

HERE. HERE'S SOMETHING TO WEAR WITH IT.

VIOLETS! MY FAVORITE!

YEAH, I REMEMBER.

OH, WE USED TO PICK 'EM IN McGREGOR WOODS

AFTER WE FINISHED PLAYING "TAKE A GIANT STEP."

REMEMBER?

"GO BACK, GO BACK, YOU DIDN'T SAY 'MAY I?'"

UH, MAY I?

OH.

HERE.

THANK YOU.

AIN'T THIS A NICE ROOM?

DO YOU LIKE THE PICTURES?

YEAH. THAT'S ANOTHER THING WE'VE GOT IN COMMON, EDITH.

I'VE GOT THE SAME PICTURES IN MY ROOM.

YOU DO?

I THINK THEY MUST BE VERY VALUABLE.

THEY'RE BOLTED TO THE WALL.

CAN I BORROW YOUR THUMB?

THAT ALL DEPENDS ON WHICH ONE YOU WANT.

THE RIGHT OR THE LEFT?

YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING LAST NIGHT AFTER I LEFT YOU?

NO, WHAT?

I WAS WONDERING, WHAT WOULD'VE HAPPENED

IF WE KNEW WE WEREN'T COUSINS WHEN WE WERE KIDS TOGETHER.

I HOPE GRACE LIKES THE WEDDING PRESENT.

IT'S ONE OF THEM CLOCK RADIOS WITH ALL THEM BUTTONS.

YOU KNOW, YOU PRESS A BUTTON

IF YOU WANNA WAKE UP TO THE ALARM

OR YOU PRESS ANOTHER BUTTON

IF YOU WANNA WAKE UP TO MUSIC?

OR, I-I-IF YOU DON'T WANNA PRESS NO BUTTONS,

YOU JUST, UH, WAKE UP WHEN YOUR EYES OPEN.

DO YOU REALIZE, EDITH,

THAT WE WERE UP UNTIL AFTER 1:00 THIS MORNING TALKIN'?

WE SPENT MORE THAN 7 HOURS TOGETHER.

AND IT ALL SEEMED LIKE A... LIKE A HALF AN HOUR.

I WANTED TO GET GRACE A, UH, AN ELECTRIC BLANKET

BUT ARCHIE SAYS PRESIDENT FORD THINKS

IT'S WRONG TO WASTE ENERGY IN BED.

DID YOU, UH, DID YOU ENJOY OUR WALK LAST NIGHT?

OH, YEAH.

OH, IT WAS SO NICE SEEIN' THE OLD NEIGHBORHOOD.

IN QUEENS, NOBODY WALKS AT NIGHT NO MORE.

NOBODY WALKS?

WELL, THE PEOPLE THAT DO ARE THE REASON THE OTHERS DON'T.

EDITH, WE STILL HAVE LOTS OF TIME, YOU KNOW.

HERE, LET ME.

OH.

YOU'D LOVE PRINCETON, THOUGH, EDITH.

OH, I THINK IT'S A LITTLE LATE FOR ME TO GO TO COLLEGE.

NO, I MEAN THE TOWN.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHERE I LIVE.

YOU KNOW, IT'S... YOU CAN WALK THERE,

AND TOUCH ALL THOSE BIG TREES IN THE STREETS.

OH.

YEAH, IF YOU TOUCH A TREE IN NEW YORK,

YOUR HAND GETS FULL OF DIRT.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING

ABOUT ANY PLACE WAS, UH, WHO YOU WERE WITH.

THAT'S TRUE!

ALL THIS MORNING I WAS THINKIN' AGAIN

ABOUT STEEPLECHASE PARK AND YOUR CRACKER JACK RING.

IT WAS LIKE I WAS LOOKIN' AT A PHOTO ALBUM.

YOU IN YOUR BLUE SUIT.

THE ESKIMO PIE ON IT.

AND ME WITH A BIG BALL OF COTTON CANDY.

AND WE WERE DANCIN' IN THE DARK.

THAT'S RIGHT.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHAT THE BAND WAS PLAYIN'?

NO.

DROVE THE SHADOWS AWAY.

DROVE THE SHADOWS AWAY? MMM-HMM.

HOW DOES THAT GO?

? LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, DROVE THE SHADOWS AWAY! ?

YOU'RE RIGHT.

BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WAS LOVE WALKED RIGHT IN.

THAT'S IT!

? LOVE WALKED RIGHT IN ?

? AND DROVE THE SHADOWS AWAY ?

? LOVE WALKED RIGHT IN ?

? AND BROUGHT MY SUNNIEST DAY ?

YOU KNOW WHAT, EDITH? I GOT A GREAT IDEA. LISTEN.

TONIGHT, AFTER THE RECEPTION,

HOW ABOUT YOU AND I GOIN' OUT SOMEPLACE?

TONIGHT?

YEAH, SURE. WE COULD GO GET SOMETHING TO EAT

AND WHO KNOWS, YOU KNOW,

MAYBE WE COULD FIND SOME PLACE

WHERE WE COULD GO DANCING AGAIN, YOU KNOW?

OH! I AIN'T DIPPED IN YEARS!

THERE'S THE PHONE.

YEAH, I KNOW. HOW ABOUT TONIGHT?

OH, WILL YOU EXCUSE ME?

HELLO?

WHO?

OH! HELLO, ARCHIE!

OH! WHAT DID YOU SAY?

OH, YOU MISS ME, DEAR?

I MISS YOU, TOO, DEAR.

NO, UH.

I AIN'T STAYIN' TONIGHT.

UH, I'M COMIN' HOME.

I'M CATCHIN' THE FIRST BUS RIGHT AFTER THE RECEPTION.

I'LL, UH, I'LL MEET YOU IN THE CAR, EDITH.

THANK YOU.

OH. HELLO? YES, I'M AFRAID YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG ROOM.

I'M SORRY, DON'T PAY NO ATTENTION

TO WHAT I JUST SAID TO YOU. GOOD-BYE.

AW, JEEZ.

LOOK AT THIS GROCERY DESTROYER OVER HERE.

IT AIN'T 3 HOURS SINCE WE HAD SUPPER,

AND ALREADY HE'S STUFFIN' HIMSELF AGAIN.

YOU KNOW, I HEARD OF GUYS WITH TAPEWORMS.

BUT I THINK YOU GOT A LITTLE BOA RESTRICTOR DOWN THERE.

DADDY, IF MICHAEL DOESN'T EAT IT,

IT'LL ONLY GO TO WASTE.

WELL, WHERE IS IT GOING TO NOW?

YOU'RE JUST CRABBY 'CAUSE YOU COULDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT.

WELL, THAT'S RIGHT AND THAT'S YOUR MOTHER'S FAULT.

HOW CAN I SLEEP IN NEW YORK WHEN SHE'S DOWN IN SCRANTON?

I'M HOME!

OH, HI, MA!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK TONIGHT?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE STAYIN' OVER.

WELL, UH, I CHANGED MY MIND.

OH, YOU COULDN'T WAIT TO GET BACK.

I TOLD YOU IT WAS GONNA BE JERKY DOWN THERE.

OH, NO. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.

OH, IT WAS A LOVELY WEDDING. COUSIN GRACE LOOKED BEAUTIFUL.

AND AUNT ROSE WAS THERE AND AUNT CLARA SANG.

? OH, PROMISE ME ?

NO, DON'T SING IT, DON'T!

IF I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT WENT ON AT THE WEDDIN',

I WOULD HAVE WENT WITH YOU. WHAT A DOPEY WEDDIN' ANYWAY!

GRACE, AT HER AGE, MARRYING THAT GUY, AT HIS AGE.

OH, THEY LOOKED LIKE THEY WAS VERY MUCH IN LOVE.

OH, GEE, LOVE.

THE ONLY THING THEM TWO ARE GONNA BE ABLE TO DO EVERY NIGHT

IS PUT THEIR TEETH IN THE SAME GLASS.

LOOK AT YOU WITH THE POSIES THERE.

WHAT DID YOU DO, CATCH THE BRIDE'S CORSET?

NO.

SOMEBODY GAVE ME THESE WHO USED TO BE MY COUSIN.

ARCHIE, DID YOU MISS ME?

COME ON, EDITH, FOR ONE NIGHT?

YEAH, MA, HE MISSED YOU.

HE COULDN'T SLEEP ALL NIGHT WITHOUT YOU.

SHUT UP, YOU.

ARCHIE, YOU DID MISS ME!

OH, YOU MISSED ME! OH, YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH.

OH, JEEZ, EDITH, IN FRONT OF THE KIDS, EDITH.

HE MISSED ME, HE MISSED ME.

ALL IN THE FAMILY WAS RECORDED ON TAPE

BEFORE A LIVE AUDIENCE.

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