Original subtitles

? BOY, THE WAY GLENN MILLER PLAYED ?

? SONGS THAT MADE THE HIT PARADE ?

? GUYS LIKE US, WE HAD IT MADE ?

? THOSE WERE THE DAYS ?

? AND YOU KNEW WHERE YOU WERE THEN ?

? GIRLS WERE GIRLS AND MEN WERE MEN ?

? MISTER, WE COULD USE A MAN ?

? LIKE HERBERT HOOVER AGAIN ?

? DIDN'T NEED NO WELFARE STATES ?

? EVERYBODY PULLED HIS WEIGHT ?

? GEE, OUR OLD LASALLE RAN GREAT ?

? THOSE WERE ?

? THE DAYS ?

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I'M BACK.

OH, YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN AT CHURCH WITH ME TODAY.

YEAH, WHY?

THE REVEREND FELCHER GAVE SUCH A NICE SERMON.

ALL ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL.

YEAH, WHICH SIDE WAS HE ON?

ON THE GOOD SIDE.

HE SAYS THAT GOD IS GOOD

WITH ONE OF THE O'S TAKEN OUT.

AND EVIL IS DEVIL WITH THE 'D' TAKEN OUT.

AIN'T THAT SMART?

YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN THERE.

YEAH. WELL, I'LL GO THERE

WHEN THE REVEREND FLETCHER GETS TAKEN OUT.

HE SAYS THAT THE LORD SMILES ON HIS SHEEP

WHEN THEY ARE IN HIS FOLD.

WELL, THE LORD MAYBE SMILIN' ON HIS SHEEPS,

BUT THEY STILL WIND UP LAMB CHOPS, EDITH.

HE ASKED ME AGAIN WHY YOU WASN'T WITH ME?

WELL, I HOPE YOU TOLD HIM THAT SUNDAY IS MY DAY OF REST.

AND IF I HAVE TO JUMP OUT OF BED AND TEAR OFF TO CHURCH,

HOW AM I GOIN' TO GET THAT REST?

OH, YEAH.

WELL, I DIDN'T REST TOO GOOD NEITHER. I TOSSED ALL NIGHT.

HOW DID YOU COME UP THIS MORNIN'? HEADS OR TAILS?

NO, I WAS WORRYIN' ABOUT MIKE AND GLORIA SLEEPIN' UP THERE

IN THAT COLD MOUNTAIN CABIN.

I HOPE THEY WAS WARM ENOUGH.

OH, JEEZ, DON'T WORRY ABOUT THEM TWO.

THEY COULD SET A WATER BED BOILIN'.

YOU GONNA CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES?

WHY, I AIN'T GOING NOWHERES. I GONNA SIT HERE,

READ MY PAPER, WATCH T.V., DRINK MY BEER.

AND TALK TO MY COUSIN AMELIA AND RUSSELL.

HUH?

REMEMBER? THEY'RE COMIN' TO VISIT TODAY.

WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE.

DON'T LAY A THING LIKE THAT ON ME

AND THEN DISAPPEAR INSIDE THE KITCHEN.

I DON'T WANNA BE STUCK WITH THEM.

WHY DIDN'T YOU REMIND ME THEY WAS COMIN'?

WELL, I DID YESTERDAY, TWICE.

WHILE YOU WAS READIN' THE PAPER

AND BOTH TIMES YOU SAID, "FINE."

AH, YOU KNOW I NEVER LISTEN TO YOU WHEN I SAY "FINE."

AMELIA'S BAD ENOUGH,

BUT THAT BIG-MOUTHED PLUMBER HUSBAND OF HERS...

HE'S ALWAYS SITTIN' IN MY CHAIR,

BLOWIN' OFF ABOUT ALL HIS MONEY.

OH, RUSSELL'S GOT A RIGHT TO.

AMELIA SAYS HE'S DOIN' WONDERFUL.

HE JUST DID ALL THE PLUMBIN' FOR A GREAT BIG CITY HOUSING PROJECT.

BIG DEAL. WHAT DOES THAT MAKE HIM? PRINCE OF THE PUBLIC POTTIES?

I THINK YOU'RE GETTIN' A LITTLE JEALOUS OF RUSSELL.

NO, I AIN'T JEALOUS.

LISTEN, ALL I GOT TO SAY

IS THAT RICH PEOPLE OUGHT TO KEEP QUIET ABOUT THEIR MONEY.

IN FACT, I THINK THEY OUGHT TO BE A LITTLE ASHAMED OF IT.

YOU KNOW, TAKE YOUR NELSON D. ROCKEFELLER THERE.

HE WAS SO, WHAT YOU CALL, MODEST ABOUT IT,

HE WOULDN'T EVEN TELL THE CONGRESS HOW MUCH HE HAD. THEY HAD TO DRAG IT OUT OF HIM.

NOW, THAT'S WHAT YOU CALL CLASS.

OH, I DON'T THINK RUSSELL WILL TALK ABOUT HIS MONEY TODAY.

THEY JUST GOT BACK FROM HAWAII.

HE'LL PROBABLY TALK ABOUT HIS VACATION.

SURE, HE'LL TELL ME ALL ABOUT HOW MUCH IT COSTS.

HE'LL BE GIVIN' ME THE FIGURES INSIDE THE FIRST 30 SECONDS HE'S HERE.

YOU WAIT AND SEE. FINE.

OH, ARCHIE, I LIKE RUSSELL

AND HE'S SO GOOD TO AMELIA.

THEIR MARRIAGE WAS MADE IN HEAVEN.

WHERE THE HELL WAS OURS MADE? IN JAPAN?

MAYBE YOU'RE A LITTLE BIT JEALOUS OF AMELIA, THERE, TOO, HUH?

OH, NO!

NOW, WELL, LISTEN, JUST BECAUSE SOME GUY BUYS

FURS AND DIAMONDS FOR HIS WIFE,

THAT DON'T MAKE HIM A GOOD HUSBAND.

I AM TALKIN' ABOUT

ALL THE LITTLE THINGS HE DOES FOR HER.

NOBODY DOES LITTLER THINGS THAN I DO FOR YOU.

OH, I KNOW, ARCHIE.

BUT AMELIA AND RUSSELL, THEY'RE SO ROMANTIC.

I LOVE THE WAY HE CALLS HER HONEY AND SWEETHEART AND THINGS.

OH, JEEZ, I CALL YOU THINGS.

BUT YOU AIN'T CALLED ME HONEY OR SWEETHEART FOR YEARS.

OH, WELL, LET ME TELL YOU, THERE'S AN OLD SAYIN',

"YOU DON'T KEEP RUNNIN' AFTER YOU CATCH THE BUS."

OH, THERE THEY ARE.

AW, JEEZ. OH, ARCHIE, TRY TO BE NICE.

OH, WHY DO I HAVE TO SEE THESE TERRIBLE PEOPLE?

ALOHA! ALOHA!

COME IN, PLEASE. COME ON.

AHH!

OH, ARCHIE! SAY ALOHA TO THEM.

YEAH, YEAH. HELLO, YEAH.

ALOHA, ARCHIE.

ALOHA. I WISH IT WAS ARRIVADUCHE.

LET ME HAVE YOUR COATS.

LET ME HELP YOU, SWEETHEART.

OH! THANK YOU, DARLING.

WE'RE DYIN' TO HEAR ABOUT HAWAII.

IT MUST'VE BEEN FUN.

OH, IT WAS.

ARCH, WAIT TILL YOU HEAR WHAT THAT TRIP COST ME.

$2,312.

28 SECONDS. YOU COME IN 2 UNDER.

THESE ARE FOR YOU AND ARCHIE. OH, OH, OH.

OH, RIGHT FROM HAWAII.

OH, THANK YOU. WELL, SIT DOWN.

YEAH, WELL, SIT DOWN. YEAH, JUST GO AHEAD. YEAH.

SIT DOWN, YEAH, BUT NOT IN MY CHAIR, OH!

ARCH, IF YOU CAN EVER SCRAPE ENOUGH DOUGH TOGETHER,

YOU GOT TO SEE THE ISLANDS.

WE HAD A SUITE AT THE HAWAIIAN VILLAGE.

$80 A DAY. RIGHT ON THE BEACH.

FOR THAT KIND OF DOUGH, YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN UP IN THE HOTEL.

OH, ARCHIE, YOU'LL NEVER CHANGE.

NO.

YOU TWO CERTAINLY HAVE CHANGED.

RUSSELL, YOU LOOK SO YOUNG

AND AMELIA, YOU'VE LOST WEIGHT.

15 POUNDS!

DOESN'T SHE LOOK TERRIFIC? THAT'S MY LITTLE MISS AMERICA.

DOESN'T RUSSELL LOOK WONDERFUL? OH, YEAH.

YEAH. JEEZ, HIS HAIR LOOKS BETTER THAN HE DOES.

HEY, UH, WHAT DID YOU DO TO IT?

NO, I JUST LET IT GROW LONGER.

I THINK YOU BEEN LETTIN' IT GROW A LITTLE DARKER, TOO, AIN'T YOU?

OH, SURE, I TOUCH IT UP. I ADMIT IT.

YOU SEE, ARCH, I DO BUSINESS WITH A LOT OF YOUNG EXECUTIVES.

SO I GOT TO KEEP IN SHAPE.

I JUST CAN'T AFFORD TO LET MYSELF GO.

OR I AM LIABLE TO WIND UP LOOKIN' LIKE YOU.

NOW, HONEY, STOP TEASING ARCHIE.

AH.

COME ON EVERYBODY, OPEN YOUR PRESENTS.

OH, YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

RUSSELL WANTED TO SEND THEM OVER.

BUT I INSISTED ON BRINGING THEM OVER IN PERSON.

RUSSELL'S WAY WAS BETTER.

OH, MY! ARCHIE! LOOK!

LOOKS LIKE GYPSY UNDERWEAR.

IT IS A MUMU.

OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL! THANK YOU.

AND, UH,

ARCHIE HAS A HAWAIIAN SHIRT. OH!

BOY, THIS COULD BE THE WALLPAPER IN A FAG BAR.

WELL, I JUST LOVE MY MUMU.

OH, MY!

I CAN'T GET OVER HOW GOOD YOU BOTH LOOK.

WELL, THAT'S BECAUSE I PLAY GOLF,

I GO TO THE GYM 3 TIMES A WEEK,

AND I WATCH MY DIET.

LOT OF FRIENDS TELL ME I LOOK 10 YEARS YOUNGER.

JEEZ, HANG ON TO THEM FRIENDS, THEY'RE HARD TO FIND.

OH, RUSSELL NEEDS HIS RELAXATION.

HE'S COOPED UP IN HIS OFFICE NIGHTS AND WEEKENDS.

I HARDLY EVER SEE HIM.

OH, WELL, DON'T FORGET, HONEY,

IT WAS THE SWEAT OF MY BROW THAT GOT US OUT OF QUEENS AND UP TO WESTCHESTER.

I AM NOT COMPLAINING, HONEY.

AS LONG AS YOU KEEP YOUR PROMISE.

TAKE ME TO EUROPE NEXT YEAR.

EUROPE!

OH, MY!

OH, I THINK IT'S WONDERFUL, THE WAY YOU TWO DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER.

AH, YEAH. TOGETHER, TOGETHER. WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, EDITH.

WHY DON'T YOU GET YOURSELF TOGETHER AND MAKE SOME COFFEE

FOR EVERYBODY AND THEN YOU AND RUSSELL AND AMELIA,

YOU HAVE THE COFFEE TOGETHER.

MEANTIME, I GOT TO RUN DOWN TO KELCY'S BAR

AND HIM AND ME ARE GONNA HAVE A BEER TOGETHER.

NO, WAIT, WAIT.

UMM, WHY DON'T YOU GO WITH HIM, RUSSELL?

OH, ARCHIE. WAIT FOR RUSSELL.

GO AHEAD, GO AHEAD, RUSSELL.

I, UH, I WANT TO HAVE A LITTLE GAB WITH EDITH.

YOU KNOW, WOMAN TALK.

YOU'RE SURE YOU DON'T MIND, SWEETHEART?

NO, HONEY, YOU NEED A LITTLE FUN.

ISN'T SHE A DOLL?

YEAH.

OK. I'LL KEEP YOU COMPANY, ARCH. BOY, AM I LUCKY.

COME ON OUT IN THE KITCHEN, AMELIA.

OH, MY, I CAN'T GET OVER HOW MUCH WEIGHT YOU'VE LOST.

EVERY TIME I... I START TO LOSE A FEW POUNDS ONE PLACE,

THEY TURN UP SOMEPLACE ELSE.

BUT YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

WELL!

JUST BETWEEN US GIRLS,

I HAD MY FACE LIFTED.

OH!

YEAH!

YOU DO LOOK A LITTLE HIGHER.

YEAH.

BUT WHAT D'YOU DO THAT FOR?

FOR RUSSELL.

OH, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT FOR RUSSELL.

HE WAS HAPPY WITH YOU EVEN WHEN YOUR FACE WAS DOWN.

YES, RUSSELL'S VERY HAPPY.

OH, YEAH! AND YOU LOOK HAPPY, TOO.

THAT'S RIGHT.

AND YOU SHOULD BE.

YOU GOT A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, AND A WONDERFUL HUSBAND.

A PERFECT MARRIAGE.

YEAH, GOT EVERYTHING A WOMAN COULD WANT.

AND... AND YOU TWO TAKE ALL OF THEM ROMANTIC TRIPS TOGETHER.

YEAH.

I WILL TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE WE MAY DO TOGETHER.

WHAT?

GET A DIVORCE.

AMELIA, WHY WOULD YOU WANNA GET A DIVORCE?

WHY, RUSSELL LOVES YOU.

HE'S ALWAYS CALLING YOU HONEY AND SWEETHEART AND MISS AMERICA.

THAT'S JUST RUSSELL'S WAY OF TALKING.

HE CALLS MY MOTHER MISS AMERICA AND HE HATES HER.

EDITH, HE'S TIRED OF ME. I'VE KNOWN THAT FOR A LONG TIME.

OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT.

HE'S HARDLY EVER HOME.

HE'S ALWAYS WORKING LATE AT THE OFFICE.

EVEN WHEN HE ISN'T AT THE OFFICE.

I'M LOSING HIM, EDITH.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

OH! WELL, YOU HAD YOUR FACE LIFTED.

THAT'S SOMETHIN'.

YEAH, FOR ALL THE GOOD IT DID ME,

I COULD'VE LEFT IT WHERE IT WAS.

YOUNG GIRLS, THAT'S ALL THAT'S ON RUSSELL'S BRAIN.

HE'S CAUGHT THE SEX FEVER, EDITH.

THE WHAT?

IT'S ALL AROUND US.

JUST LOOK AT ALL THE MOVIES,

AND THE MAGAZINES, AND THE SEX BOOKS.

HOW TO? WHEN TO? WHY TO?

THEY MAKE YOU FEEL THERE'S A PARTY GOING ON AND YOU'VE MISSED IT.

WELL, I... I DON'T THINK I'D GO EVEN IF I WAS INVITED.

I'D HAVE THOUGHT THAT YOU'D BE VERY HEAVY IN THE STOCK MARKET.

MY BROKER TOLD ME TO GET OUT OF THE MARKET.

SO, I UNLOADED ALL THE SECURITIES.

I DON'T IMAGINE YOU HAVE ANY INVESTMENTS, ARCH.

OH, NO, RUSSELL.

ANYTHING I HAVE IS ALL TIED UP IN STAYIN' ALIVE.

HOW YOU DOIN', KELCY?

HI, ARCH. HOW YOU DOIN'?

HEY, I WANT YOU TO MEET A COUSIN-IN-LAW OF EDITH'S HERE.

THIS IS RUSSELL DE COOPER. HI.

THAT'S DEKUYPER. OH, GEE, YEAH, YEAH.

YOU KNOW THAT NAME OF YOURS, THAT'S THE ONE WORD I ALWAYS DISPRONOUNCE WRONG.

RUSSELL IS A BIG PLUMBER.

A PLUMBER?

PLUMBING CONTRACTOR.

HEY, LISTEN, WE GOT A PROBLEM WITH THE JOHN.

IT FLUSHES, SEE, BUT YOU GOT TO KEEP JIGGLIN' THE HANDLE.

MAYBE YOU'LL TAKE A LOOK AT IT.

I, UH, I DON'T DO FIELD WORK ANYMORE.

THE JOHN AIN'T OUT IN THE FIELD.

IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE.

COME ON, THERE, WILL YOU, KELCY? IT'S A DAY OF REST.

WHAT DO YOU WANT? THE MAN DIVIN' INTO YOUR TOILET ON SUNDAY?

WELL, IT'S HERE. AW.

NO, IT'S OK, ARCH. I'M USED TO IT.

IT'S LIKE BEIN' A DOCTOR. EVERYBODY WANTS FREE ADVICE.

OH, YEAH.

UH, I'D LIKE TO BUY A ROUND OF DRINKS FOR THE HOUSE.

WHO'S THE HOUSE?

I MEAN, UH,

LITTLE MISS AMERICA OVER THERE AT THE TABLE. AND ONE FOR YOU, TOO.

AH, NO, NO. NONE FOR ME. THANKS.

I DON'T LIKE NO DRUNK HANDLIN' MY CASH REGISTER.

WHAT'LL IT BE, GENTS?

A HARVEY WALLBANGER.

A WHAT?

THAT'S A SCREWDRIVER WITH A SHOT OF GALLIANO.

IT'S A DRINK, STUPID. MAKE IT.

OK. GIVE ME A BEER.

BEER?

LOOK, IT'S ON ME. LIVE IT UP A LITTLE.

THAT'S HOW I LIVE IT UP. I HAVE A BEER.

BEER IS A POOR MAN'S DRINK, ARCH.

YOU PLAN TO BE POOR ALL YOUR LIFE?

RUSSELL, I DIDN'T PLAN IT. I JUST LUCKED INTO IT.

YOU'LL NEVER CHANGE.

SAME OLD ARCH, SAME OLD JOB, SAME OLD HOUSE.

OH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I MIGHT MOVE INTO A BETTER HOUSE, A BETTER NEIGHBORHOOD,

IF SOME, UH, RICH RELATION BY MARRIAGE

WOULD KINDLY CROAK AND REMEMBER ME IN HIS WILL.

THE SHAPE YOU ARE IN, ARCH, YOU'RE GONNA NEED THAT RICH RELATION TO BURY YOU.

OH.

HERE WE GO, A HARVEY WALLBANGER.

THANKS. AND, UH, HERE FOR YOU.

KEEP 'EM COMIN' FOR LITTLE MISS AMERICA THERE.

OK, SPORT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

YOU DON'T KNOW THAT LITTLE GIRL OVER THERE.

NOT YET.

HEY, HEY, REMEMBER WHAT YOU GOT WAITIN' FOR YOU BACK AT MY HOUSE.

A NICE WIFE, WITH 15 POUNDS OFF HER KEISTER.

OH, I'M NOT GONNA DO ANYTHING NOW.

THIS IS STRICTLY FOR A FUTURE REFERENCE.

YOU KNOW, SOMETHING FOR A RAINY DAY.

THAT'S WHAT A WIFE IS FOR, A RAINY DAY.

ACT YOUR AGE.

WELL, THERE'S NO FUN IN THAT, ARCH.

I'D RATHER ACT HER AGE. AW.

NO, A GUY'S GOTTA KEEP LOOKIN' FOR, YOU KNOW, GREENER PASTURES.

AFTER 25 YEARS, MARRIAGE IS LIKE

A BOX OF CRACKER JACKS WITH NO SURPRISE IN IT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH JUST THE CRACKER JACKS?

ARCH, I GOT ME A SECRETARY YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE.

24 YEARS OLD AND WILD, ARCH, WILD.

YOU KNOW WHAT SHE CALLS ME?

GRANDPA?

TIGER.

THAT'S WHAT I'M WHEN I AM WITH HER. A TIGER.

WHEN AMELIA FINDS OUT, SHE'LL CUT YOU DOWN TO TOMCAT.

MAYBE SHE'LL DIVORCE YOU?

SO? WHEN YOU GOT DOUGH, ARCH, DIVORCE IS NO PROBLEM.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT LIKE YOU AND EDITH.

YOU'RE STUCK WITH EACH OTHER.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.

I AIN'T LOOKIN' FOR NO GREENER PASTURES

'CAUSE EDITH IS GREEN ENOUGH FOR ME.

I LIKE BEIN' STUCK WITH HER.

OK, ARCH, TO EACH HIS OWN.

HEY, CASEY. KELCY.

OH, I'M SORRY.

UH,

WHO'S THE LITTLE DOLL AT THE TABLE?

OH, YOU MEAN GINGER?

GINGER, I LOVE THAT NAME.

SHE'S MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.

SHE'S WAITIN' FOR MY SON TO PICK HER UP.

YOUR SON, THE DETECTIVE?

YEAH.

IT WAS AWFUL NICE OF YOU TO BUY HER THAT DRINK.

IT COMES TO $3.25 NOT INCLUDIN' THE TIP.

BACK TO THE ZOO, TIGER.

THE FUNNY PART IS

EVERYBODY IN THE FAMILY THINKS I'M THE ONE THAT MADE THE GREAT MARRIAGE.

AMELIA, DID YOU EVER THINK

OF SITTIN' DOWN AND TALKIN' IT ALL OVER WITH RUSSELL.

I WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

FRANKLY EDITH,

IT'S BEEN MONTHS

SINCE RUSSELL AND I WERE TOGETHER.

YOU WAS TOGETHER IN HAWAII.

NO.

I MEAN, TOGETHER.

OH!

I'LL GET YOU SOME MORE COFFEE.

EDITH, HOW DO YOU DO IT?

I JUST USE A NEW FILTER.

OH, EDITH.

I DON'T MEAN THE COFFEE.

I MEAN, OF ALL THE PEOPLE I KNOW

YOU'RE PRACTICALLY THE ONLY PERSON WHO HAS A HAPPY MARRIAGE.

ME AND ARCHIE?

OH, MY, THANK YOU.

WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?

OH, I AIN'T GOT NO SECRET.

UH, WELL, ARCHIE AND ME STILL HAS FIGHTS.

BUT WE DON'T LET 'EM GO ON TOO LONG.

SOMEBODY ALWAYS SAYS, "I'M SORRY."

AND ARCHIE ALWAYS SAYS, "THAT'S OK, EDITH."

AND THEN WE FORGET IT.

NO, EDITH. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN.

I MEAN, YOU MUST BE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT

WHEN YOU GO TO BED AT NIGHT.

UH, WE GO TO SLEEP.

NO, NO, EDITH. NOTHING... NOTHING MORE?

WELL, NOTHIN' MORE THAN WE'VE BEEN DOIN'

SINCE THE MINISTER SAID WE COULD.

BUT, EDITH, DO... DO YOU SEE PINWHEELS AND SKYROCKETS AND FIREWORKS

LIKE THE 4TH OF JULY?

WITH ME AND ARCHIE

IT'S MORE LIKE THANKSGIVIN'.

HEY, HEY. WE'RE BACK.

OH, THEY'RE BACK.

DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON KELCY'S FACE WHEN HE COULDN'T CHANGE MY $100 BILL?

DID YOU SEE THE LOOK ON MY FACE WHEN I HAD TO PAY THE TAB?

DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME AT KELCY'S?

YEAH, SWELL, SWELL.

WELL, I'LL GET YOU BOTH SOME COFFEE.

NO, THANKS, EDITH. WE GOT TO GET GOIN'.

THEY GOT TO GET GOIN'. OH, BUT HONEY, IT'S ONLY 2:00.

SWEETIE, I'VE GOT SUCH A LOAD OF WORK WAITING FOR ME.

YOU HAVE WORK AGAIN TONIGHT?

NOW, SWEETHEART, DON'T COMPLAIN.

REMEMBER, IT'S ME WORKING LIKE A BEAVER THAT KEEPS YOU IN MINK.

NOW SAY GOODBYE, HONEY.

I DON'T WANNA HIT THAT TRAFFIC.

- BYE, ARCHIE. EDITH. - YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

- GOODBYE, KIDS. - KEEP IN TOUCH.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELVES. OH, I WILL.

BYE. GOODBYE.

GOODBYE.

WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, EDITH BUNKER.

YOU JUST RUINED ANOTHER HALF A SUNDAY.

DID YOU AND RUSSELL HAVE A NICE TALK?

YEAH, I TOLD YOU. SWELL, SWELL.

WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT?

OH, UH, TALKED ABOUT THE KNICKS.

AND, UH, WHAT THE METS MIGHT BE DOIN' NEXT SEASON. YOU KNOW, MAN TALK AND THAT.

WHAT DID AMELIA HAVE TO SAY FOR HERSELF?

OH, NOTHIN'.

OH, YOU KNOW, WOMAN TALK.

COOKIN' AND SO, AND... AND THE 4TH OF JULY.

ARE WE GONNA SEE THEM AGAIN ON THE 4TH OF JULY?

OH, NO, NO, ARCHIE.

OH, JEEZ. YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME HEART FAILURE.

ONCE A YEAR IS ENOUGH TO SEE THEM PEOPLE.

ALL IN THE FAMILY WAS RECORDED ON TAPE

BEFORE A LIVE AUDIENCE.

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