Original subtitles

? BOY, THE WAY GLENN MILLER PLAYED ?

? SONGS THAT MADE THE HIT PARADE ?

? GUYS LIKE US, WE HAD IT MADE ?

? THOSE WERE THE DAYS ?

? AND YOU KNEW WHERE YOU WERE THEN ?

? GIRLS WERE GIRLS AND MEN WERE MEN ?

? MISTER, WE COULD USE A MAN ?

? LIKE HERBERT HOOVER AGAIN ?

? DIDN'T NEED NO WELFARE STATES ?

? EVERYBODY PULLED HIS WEIGHT ?

? GEE, OUR OLD LASALLE RAN GREAT ?

? THOSE WERE ?

? THE DAYS ?

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HELLO.

OH, HELLO, IRENE.

NO, I AIN'T DOIN' NOTHIN'.

JUST HOUSEKEEPIN'.

MY MAID DIDN'T SHOW UP TODAY.

HUH?

OH, NO. THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' NEW ON THE STRIKE,

EXCEPT ARCHIE STARTED PICKETIN' TODAY.

JUST THINK, IRENE.

A STRIKE IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL THIS,

WHAT DO YOU CALL IT, INFLATION.

YEAH, I'M WORRIED.

BUT I... I'M MORE WORRIED ABOUT ARCHIE WORRYIN'

BECAUSE HE DON'T KNOW HOW TO WORRY WITHOUT GETTIN' UPSET.

OH, HERE HE IS. MAYBE HE CAN TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.

WHO'S THAT ON THE BLOWER?

IT'S IRENE.

SHE WANTS TO KNOW SOMETHIN' ABOUT THE STRIKE.

SHE WANTS TO KNOW SOMETHIN' ABOUT THE STRIKE.

GIMME THAT. HERE'S ARCH.

HELLO THERE.

OH, LISTEN, BEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING, UH,

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT SONG THAT HAD YOU IN IT?

THAT'S RIGHT, GOODNIGHT, IRENE.

OH, ARCHIE. OH, TO HELL WITH HER.

OH, YOU MUST HAVE HAD BAD NEWS TODAY.

NO, I DIDN'T HAVE NO BAD NEWS, I HAD GOOD NEWS.

BUT WHY WASTE IT ON HER WHEN I GOT YOU?

GOOD NEWS?

THE STRIKE IS WORKING REAL GOOD.

WE THREW A PICKET LINE AROUND OUR PLANT THIS MORNING AND IT HELPED.

NOBODY CROSSED.

WE GOT THE WHOLE PLACE LOCKED UP TIGHTER THAN A JEW'S PURSE.

ARCHIE, THAT'S TERRIBLE.

WHAT?

MRS. MENDELBAUM IS JEWISH.

HER... HER PURSE IS ALWAYS OPEN. SHE'S VERY GENEROUS. I AIN'T INTERESTED IN THAT.

SHE EVEN GIVES TO CHRISTIAN CHARITY. I AIN'T INTERESTED IN THAT.

SHE BOUGHT GIRL SCOUT COOKIES AND... I AIN'T INTERESTED.

I AIN'T INTERESTED IN IT, EDITH!

I'M TRYIN' TO TELL YOU ABOUT MY STRIKE.

AIN'T YOU INTERESTED IN THAT? OH, SURE.

ALL RIGHT. WELL, I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU, IT'S GONNA BE OVER ANY MINUTE.

OH, ARCHIE. YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T WORRY.

I'M TELLING YOU I AIN'T WORRYING.

LISTEN, THERE'S 320 CRATES ON THAT LOADIN' PLATFORM

WAITIN' TO BE UNLOADED.

THEY AIN'T GONNA BE UNLOADED UNTIL WE GET THERE TO UNLOAD 'EM.

IN OTHER WORDS, TO PUT IT FOR YOU IN TECHNICAL LANGUAGE, EDITH,

WE GOT THE BOSSES BY THE SHORT HAIRS.

YOU SHOULDN'T WORRY SO MUCH.

I AIN'T WORRYIN'. WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYIN' THAT I'M WORRYIN'?

BECAUSE I CAN SEE YOU TALKIN' OUT OF THE CORNERS OF YOUR EYES.

HOW THE HELL DO YOU DO THAT?

WELL, LIKE THIS.

UH, UH...

"EDITH, UH, WE GOT THE BOSSES BY THEIR SHORT HAIRS."

I DON'T WANNA HEAR NOTHIN' MORE ABOUT IT.

I TOLD YOU I AIN'T WORRIED, THAT'S THE END OF THIS.

OH, IF YOU SAY SO.

YOU ARE A PIP, YOU KNOW THAT?

YOU STILL LOOK WORRIED.

AH, GEE...

AND LISTEN, NOW DON'T START THAT. I CAN'T STAND THAT.

WHY DO YOU HAVE TO DO THAT NOW?

BUT WEDNESDAY IS MY VACUUMIN' DAY.

OH, JEEZ.

EDITH, YOU RAN THAT THING INTO THE LEFT SIDE OF MY FOOT

WHERE THE BUNION IS, THERE. YOU HURT ME, EDITH.

OH, I'M SORRY.

WELL, DON'T START IT AGAIN.

NOW, EDITH, CAN'T YOU DO THAT TOMORROW?

OH, YEAH, BUT THE WINDOWS WOULD BE DIRTY.

WHAT, DO YOU VACUUM THE WINDOWS?

NO.

YOU SEE, THURSDAY IS MY DAY TO DO THE WINDOWS

IF IT AIN'T RAININ'.

AND IF IT'S RAININ', THEN I MOVE MY, UH,

FRIDAY KITCHEN FLOOR DAY TO THURSDAY,

AND I DO THE WINDOWS ON FRIDAY.

AND IF IT'S STILL RAININ' ON FRIDAY,

THEN I MOVE MY SATURDAY IRONIN' DAY TO FRIDAY.

AND I DO THE WINDOWS ON SATURDAY.

AND YEAH,

AND... AND IF IT'S STILL RAININ' ON SATURDAY...

IF IT'S STILL RAININ' ON SATURDAY,

THEN I GET A DAY OFF BECAUSE

I AIN'T GOT NOTHIN' TO MOVE FROM SUNDAY.

OH, JEEZ, LOOK OUT THERE.

YOU GIVE ME A WHIPLASH WITH THE WIRE.

I'M SORRY.

WOULD YOU PUT THAT THING AWAY

ONCE AND FOR ALL?

I MEAN, CAN'T YOU COME OVER HERE

AND VISIT WITH ME JUST A LITTLE BIT?

OH, NO, NOT NOW, ARCHIE, I GOT TO GET DINNER READY.

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT DINNER FOR? - 30 IN THE DAY.

WELL, IF I DON'T START NOW, IT WON'T BE READY WHEN YOU ARE.

YEAH, BUT WAIT A MINUTE, EDITH.

WHAT AM I GONNA DO OUT HERE, ALL BY MYSELF?

IT'S ALL RIGHT, EDITH, I KNOW WHAT I'LL DO ALL BY MYSELF.

I'LL WATCH THE END OF THE BALL GAME.

SO, IN THE BOTTOM HALF OF THE 3RD,

THE METS GO DOWN IN ORDER.

NO RUNS, NO HITS, NO ERRORS, NOBODY...

HEY, EDITH.

HEY, EDITH, COME HERE WILL YOU? YEAH, ARCHIE.

THE VERTIZONTAL HOLD ON THIS THING IS STILL ON THE FRITZ.

HOW AM I GONNA WATCH THE BALL GAME WITH THE PICTURE GOIN' LIKE THIS?

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET THAT FIXED.

OH, BUT, ARCHIE, WE AIN'T PAID DR. GARFIEND

FOR FIXIN' THE BURSITIS IN YOUR ARM.

BUT THE BURSITIS IS FIXED. THE T.V. AIN'T.

FORGET GARFIEND. GET THE T.V. GUY BACK HERE.

OH, ARCHIE, I THINK WE OUGHT TO WAIT.

REMEMBER THERE AIN'T NO CHECKS COMIN' IN.

I KNOW THAT, EDITH.

BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH MYSELF HERE?

WELL, YOU COULD READ.

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY?

WELL, YOU'LL THINK OF SOMETHIN'.

BUT WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE IN THIS HOUSE

THAT HAS TO THINK OF SOMETHIN'?

"YOUR PERSONALITY MAY BE KILLING YOU."

GET OUT OF HERE.

? OH, LET YOUR SMILE BE YOUR UMBRELLA ?

? ON A RAINY, RAINY DAY ?

?

YOU WANT SOMETHIN', ARCHIE?

NO, I DON'T WANT NOTHIN'. I WAS JUST HANGIN' AROUND.

FIGURED MAYBE I'D KEEP YOU COMPANY HERE.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

EXCUSE ME.

YEAH, GO AHEAD.

EXCUSE ME. YEAH, GO AHEAD.

I JUST COME OUT BECAUSE, UH,

WELL, I, UH, I WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHIN'.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT IS IT?

WHAT'S NEW?

WELL, LET'S SEE.

OH, EXCUSE ME.

GO AHEAD.

WHAT'S NEW?

WELL, UH,

REMEMBER MR. BAXTER

WHO OWNS THE TROPICAL FISH STORE AROUND THE CORNER?

TROPICAL FISH...

OH, YEAH. I HATE HIM.

OH, HE'S VERY NICE. HIS WIFE LEFT HIM.

WELL, I AIN'T SURPRISED.

SHE'S YOUNGER THAN HIM. THEM THINGS NEVER LAST.

WELL, THAT AIN'T NO REASON. I'M YOUNGER THAN YOU ARE.

I AIN'T TALKIN' ABOUT MINUTES, EDITH.

I'M TALKIN' ABOUT YEARS.

THE FISH GUY'S WIFE IS HALF HIS AGE.

OH, UH, EXCUSE ME, YOU'RE IN MY WAY.

YEAH, AND WHY? HOW AM I IN YOUR WAY HERE?

WELL, I GOTTA GET OVER THERE. THEN GO OVER THERE.

I'M IN YOUR WAY HERE, AND I'M IN YOUR WAY THERE, AND I'M IN YOUR WAY AGAIN.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOIN', THAT'S YOUR TROUBLE.

NOW THAT I'M HOME I CAN SEE THAT YOU AIN'T ORGANIZED HERE, EDITH.

YEAH.

YEAH.

OK.

THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' I CAN DO HERE TO HELP YOU.

AM I GONNA BE IN YOUR WAY OUTSIDE?

OH, NO.

OH, HEY, WHOOP-DEE-DOO, IF IT AIN'T MY FAVORITE SON-IN-LAW.

HI THERE, MICHAEL. WHAT'S NEW?

ANYTHING WRONG?

NO, WHAT COULD BE WRONG?

I DON'T KNOW.

OH, I... I JUST FIGURED SINCE THE TWO OF US ARE HOME EARLY,

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO SIT DOWN AND PLAY ME A COUPLE OF HANDS OF GIN RUMMY.

I'D LOVE TO WATCH, REALLY. BUT I JUST CAME HOME TO GET MY BOOKS.

I GOTTA RUN OFF TO SCHOOL. SCHOOL?

WELL, WHERE YOU BEEN UP TO NOW?

WHY ARE YOU ALL DUDED UP THERE LOOKIN' LIKE ERROL SLIM?

I WAS OUT LOOKING FOR A PART-TIME JOB.

YOU'RE KIDDIN'.

SINCE YOU'RE ON STRIKE,

I FIGURED, YOU KNOW, WITH THE ECONOMY THE WAY IT IS,

I... I JUST WANTED TO HELP OUT. I KNOW HOW WORRIED YOU ARE.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE THERE. WAIT A MINUTE, WISE GUY.

I'M JUST BEEN THROUGH THIS WITH YOUR MOTHER-IN-LAW.

I TELL YOU AS THE HEAD OF THIS HOUSE, I AIN'T WORRIED ABOUT NOTHIN'.

OK. YEAH.

WELL, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

DID YOU GET THE JOB?

NO.

AH, WELL, I COULD HAVE GUESSED THAT.

WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

WELL, FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF.

YOU AIN'T GOT NO QUALIFIDATIONS FOR NOTHIN'.

IF YOU WAS TO COME IN HERE, FRESH OFF THE STREET,

APPLYIN' FOR THE JOB OF MY SON-IN-LAW, I WOULDN'T HIRE YOU.

AND IF I KNEW YOU CAME WITH THE JOB, I WOULDN'T TAKE IT.

OH, EDITH, EDITH. NO, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

EDITH, NOW STAY HERE, HUH? STAY HERE. OH.

COME ON, YOU DON'T HAVE TO RUSH AROUND, HUH?

COME, LET'S SIT DOWN HERE AND PLAY A HAND OF GIN RUMMY.

OH, NO, ARCHIE, I GOT TO GO UPSTAIRS.

EDITH, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE, COME HERE.

I'M HOME HERE WITH YOU.

DON'T YOU WANNA BE WITH ME AT ALL?

OH, SURE, ARCHIE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME UP TO THE BEDROOM WITH ME?

NOW?

YOU CAN HOLD THE END OF THE SHEET WHILE I CHANGE THE BED.

WHAT FUN. HOLD THE END OF THE SHEET.

NOW, GO ON, GO ON. GO ON UPSTAIRS.

DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO.

FIND SOMETHIN' TO DO DOWN HERE MYSELF.

AH, WHAT THE HELL.

AND HERE'S THE PITCH. FASTBALL IS IN THERE, CALLED STRIKE.

COUNT EVENS AT A BALL AND A STRIKE.

GAME'S STILL TIED 2-2, WE'RE IN THE TOP OF THE...

THIS STINKS!

LOUISE, 2 WEEKS AGO, ARCHIE SAT IN THERE TELLIN' ME

THE STRIKE WOULD LAST ONLY A DAY OR SO.

ARCHIE AIN'T USED TO NOT WORKIN',

AND I AIN'T USED TO HAVIN' HIM AROUND HERE ALL THE TIME.

YEAH, I HEAR YOU.

TELL ME, DO THOSE THINGS REALLY WORK?

THEY BETTER.

OH, YESTERDAY ARCHIE CAME HOME SO MAD.

WHILE THEY WAS PICKETIN', DUTCH KRIEGER THREW HIS CIGARETTE DOWN

AND ARCHIE PUT IT OUT WITH THIS SHOE.

THAT'S WHAT TOLD HIM HE HAD A HOLE.

WELL, EDITH, THERE'S A SHOEMAKER RIGHT NEXT TO OUR CLEANING SHOP.

I'D BE GLAD TO TAKE THEM IN FOR YOU.

OH, IF I COULD SPARE $6.50 TO BUY HALF SOLES,

I'D RATHER SPEND IT ON A HALF A ROAST.

I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS THAT TOUGH.

OH, NO! FOR $6.50, MEAT IS VERY TENDER.

UH, WELL, UH, THANKS FOR THE COFFEE, EDITH.

I'D BETTER GO SO YOU CAN COOK DINNER.

OOH, I GOT PLENTY OF TIME.

WE'RE HAVIN' SPAGHETTI AGAIN TONIGHT.

IT'S THE 4TH TIME THIS WEEK.

OH, THAT'S ARCHIE. I KNOW HIS SLAM.

I'M LEAVING.

WHY?

I KNOW HIS SLAM, TOO. LATER.

ALL RIGHT.

BYE, LOUISE.

HELLO, ARCHIE!

HOW WAS THE PICKETIN' TODAY?

AH, JEEZ, IT WAS LOUSY.

MY 2 POOR HANDS ARE KILLIN' ME. OH.

HEY, DID I GET A PHONE CALL FROM THE UNION HALL?

NO. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR HANDS?

AH, GEE, THEY GAVE ME THE BIGGEST SIGN OF ALL TO CARRY.

A BIG 4 BY 8, WITH A BARN DOOR AT THE TOP THAT SAID "UNFAIR".

AND LOOK AT THIS.

OH, HOW DID YOU GET THAT SPOT?

A KID THREW A TANGERINE AT ME.

GIDDYUP, SECRETARIAT.

GIDDYUP, SECRETARIAT.

AH, LOOK AT THIS!

HO, BOY, HO.

HOLD, BOY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

GOOD BOY.

THEY'RE PLAYIN' HORSIE.

NO, THEY AIN'T. SHE'S RIDIN' A JACKASS.

JUST TRYING TO LIGHTEN THINGS UP AROUND HERE.

I MEAN, IF STRETCH CUNNINGHAM HAD COME GALLOPING IN LIKE THAT,

YOU'D HAVE FALLEN DOWN ON THE FLOOR LAUGHIN'.

HEY, HEY! DON'T MENTION THE NAME OF STRETCH CUNNINGHAM IN THIS HOUSE NO MORE.

STRETCH CUNNINGHAM IS A FINK.

HE'S JUDAS ISCARIOT AT LOADIN' PLATFORM.

MAN DIDN'T SHOW UP FOR PICKET DUTY AGAIN TODAY.

BUT, DADDY, HE'S JUST PROBABLY SICK.

AH, SICK IN A PIG'S STY. HE'S GOOFIN' OFF.

EDITH, WHERE'S DINNER, HUH?

JUST A MINUTE. I JUST GOT TO COOK THE SPAGHETTI.

COME ON, EDITH, HAVE A HEART, WILL YOU?

WHEN ARE WE GONNA SEE MEAT IN THIS HOUSE AGAIN?

TONIGHT WE'RE HAVING SPAGHETTI WITH MARINARA SAUCE.

MARINARA SAUCE IS NOTHIN' BUT LUMPY JUICE.

AND GOD KNOWS WHAT THE LUMPS ARE.

BUT, ARCHIE, MEAT IS SO EXPENSIVE.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, EDITH. HELP ME, LORD.

GO AHEAD, GET IT ON THE TABLE, HUH? GET IT ON.

HEY, ARCH?

HOW ARE THE NEGOTIATIONS GOIN'?

OH, THEY'RE GOIN'. THEY'RE GOIN' RIGHT ALONG.

THERE COULD BE A BREAK ANY MINUTE.

I'M EXPECTIN' A PHONE CALL FROM THE UNION.

I WANNA TELL YOU SOMETHIN', BUDDY.

WHEN THIS STRIKE IS OVER, THAT'S THE LAST WE'RE GONNA SEE A SPAGHETTI IN THIS HOUSE.

I FEEL SO POOR!

EDITH.

EDITH, COME ON, WILL YOU? THINGS CAN'T BE THAT BAD.

WE CAN HAVE A LITTLE MEAT. OH, THEY ARE!

ARCHIE, LOOK AT ALL THESE BILLS.

HERE'S THE PHONE BILL, THE GAS AND ELECTRIC, AND THE MORTGAGE.

WE AIN'T GOT ENOUGH MONEY TO PAY THEM.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT? WE GOT OVER $600 IN THE NATIONAL CITY.

OH, NO. THAT'S JUST $200 NOW.

WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE OTHER $400?

I TRANSFERRED IT TO THE QUEENS SAVING AND LOAN

WHEN THEY OPENED UP A NEW BRANCH, REMEMBER? I TOLD YOU.

WHEN DO I EVER LISTEN TO YOU?

YOU SEE, THEY GAVE A FREE GIFT WITH EVERY ACCOUNT YOU OPENED.

SO I OPENED UP 4 OF 'EM.

W-WAIT A MINUTE, EDITH. THE MONEY IS STILL IN THERE, EH?

WELL, IT IS AND IT AIN'T.

WELL, WHICH IS IT, AIN'T OR IS?

WELL, IT... IT... IT IS, BUT WE CAN'T TAKE IT OUT FOR A WHOLE YEAR.

WHY NOT?

YOU SEE, I GOT 4 WONDERFUL GIFTS,

THINGS WE REALLY NEED, FOR NOTHIN'.

REMEMBER, WHEN YOU HAD YOUR BACKACHE AND YOU WANTED A HEATIN' PAD,

BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE A HEATIN' PAD?

WELL, NOW WE GOT A HEATIN' PAD.

EDITH, WE NEED MONEY, WE NEED MEAT.

I GOT A THERMAL BLANKET FOR MIKE AND GLORIA TO KEEP 'EM WARM.

THEY MAKE THEIR OWN HEAT UP THERE.

AND FOR YOU, I GOT A TRANSISTOR RADIO...

WAIT A MINUTE, EDITH, I ALREADY GOT ONE OF THEM.

THAT'S THE ONE I GOT FOR YOU.

SO YOU COULD HAVE ONE, JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER FELLAS ON THE LOADIN' PLATFORM.

I KNOW. BUT, EDITH, DON'T YOU SEE?

I MEAN, I COULD'VE GONE OUT,

AND GOT THAT WHOLE KITTEN CABOODLE FOR $30, $40.

BUT WE DIDN'T HAVE $30 OR $40.

BUT YOU SUNK $400 INTO ALL THAT STUFF.

BUT IT'S STILL THERE. IT'S OUR MONEY.

NO! YOU BURIED IT. IT'S IN THE GRAVE!

I COULD GET THE GUYS IN THE LEGION HALL TO COME OUT AND BLOW TAPS OVER IT.

THAT'S THE DUMBEST THING YOU EVER DONE, EDITH.

I MEAN, Y-Y-YOU PAINTED US INTO A CORNER,

THEN YOU THREW AWAY THE KEY.

EDITH, AIN'T YOU ASHAMED OF YOURSELF?

WELL, I'M SORRY.

I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS GONNA TURN OUT LIKE THIS.

OH, WELL, DON'T CRY.

BUT, I MEAN, THERE WAS NO MONEY COMING IN.

DON'T CRY!

EDITH, DON'T! NOW LOOK, SHE'S CRYIN' NOW.

DON'T CRY, EDITH. DON'T CRY.

EDITH, DON'T CRY.

EDITH, DON'T...

EDITH, YOU DONE GOOD!

YOUR HEART WAS IN THE RIGHT PLACE, EDITH.

BUT YOUR HEAD WAS OUT TO LUNCH.

ALL RIGHT, DON'T BE WORRIED.

DON'T BE WORRIED.

JEEZ, WHY DIDN'T YOU PUCKER UP?

I KISSED NOTHIN' BUT TEETH.

O SOLE MIO.

ARE YOUSE READY FOR YOUR ITALIAN DELIGHT?

ACTUALLY, DADDY, YOU KNOW, SPAGHETTI IS NOT ITALIAN.

I READ THAT MARCO POLO FOUND IT IN CHINA,

AND THEN HE BROUGHT IT HOME TO ITALY WITH HIM.

LEAVE IT TO A DAGO TO GO AROUND THE WORLD FOR A TAKE-HOME DINNER.

I'LL GET IT.

"DAGO". DO YOU HAVE TO USE THAT WORD?

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL AN ITALIAN? A MICK?

OH, HI, LOUISE!

COME ON IN. HELLO, GLORIA!

HI, EVERYBODY.

HI. HI THERE, MRS. J.

GEE, WE'RE JUST SITTIN' DOWN TO DINNER HERE.

OH, WHAT PERFECT TIMING.

NO, EDITH ONLY MADE ENOUGH FOR US.

OH.

HELLO, LOUISE, AGAIN.

EDITH?

COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

SURE, WHAT IS IT?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TONIGHT.

BUT I MADE TWICE AS MUCH BEEF STEW AS WE COULD USE.

IT WOULD BE SUCH A HELP IF YOU COULD TAKE IT OFF MY HANDS.

OH, SURE. THANK YOU! UH, WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. NO, MRS. J, NO.

WE DON'T NEED NONE OF THAT, SEE,

'CAUSE EDITH JUST MADE THE FAMILY FAVORITE HERE:

SPAGHETTI.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, DADDY,

BUT I WOULDN'T MIND HAVIN' SOME BEEF STEW.

YEAH, NEITHER WOULD I.

DO YOU WANNA BREAK YOUR MOTHER'S HEART?

SHE'S OUT THERE ALL DAY IN THE KITCHEN, CREATIN' THAT SPAGHETTI.

JUST REMEMBER THIS, IF I GET THAT PHONE CALL,

WE'D ALL BE RUNNIN' OUT OF HERE EATIN' FILLET MIGNON.

BUT, ARCHIE, THERE'S MEAT IN THE STEW.

EDITH, EDITH, EDITH, HUH?

DON'T ARGUE WITH ME, HUH?

EXCUSE ME, LOUISE. EXCUSE ME.

EDITH, I WANT TO SEE YOU, PRIVATE THERE, IN THE KITCHEN.

AND DON'T YOUSE TOUCH THAT STEW.

GET IN THERE! GET IN THERE!

EDITH.

I DON'T WANT YOU TAKIN' THAT FOOD FROM MRS. JEFFERSON.

WHY NOT? SHE SAID SHE MADE TOO MUCH.

I DON'T WANT YOU TURNIN' MY HOUSE INTO A SOUP KITCHEN.

IT AIN'T SOUP, IT'S BEEF STEW.

I WOULDN'T GIVE A DAMN IF IT WAS LOBSTER GREENBERG.

IT'S CHARITY, AND I AIN'T TAKIN' NO CHARITY.

NOW, EDITH, YOU JUST TURN AROUND,

AND YOU JUST GO BACK AND YOU TELL LOUISE

THAT CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME, WHICH IS WHERE YOU WANT HER TO TAKE THAT STEW BACK TO.

IT AIN'T CHARITY, ARCHIE.

LOUISE IS JUST BEIN' A GOOD NEIGHBOR. OH.

IF THEY WAS HARD UP, YOU'D HELP 'EM, WOULDN'T YOU? CERTAINLY, I WOULD.

WELL...

THAT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT THING, EDITH.

COLORED PEOPLE'S USED TO BEING HELPED.

DADDY, THE CALL'S FOR YOU. CHARLIE DRILLER.

HEY, THAT'S THE CALL FROM THE UNION HALL.

MAYBE THINGS IS ALL FIXED, YEAH?

LET ME GET THAT CALL. GET AWAY FROM THERE.

I'M JUST HOLDIN' THE DOOR. GET AWAY FROM THE PHONE.

GET AWAY FROM THE PHONE. LOUISE, WAIT A MINUTE!

SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP! I'M ON THE PHONE.

HELLO, CHARLIE. ARCHIE BUNKER HERE.

YEAH, WHAT'S THE GOOD WORD, I HOPE.

AH, YEAH...

WHAT IS IT?

HOLD THE PHONE, CHARLIE.

THEY BROKE OFF THE NEGOTIATIONS.

OH, MY!

UH, I'D BETTER GO, EDITH.

HOLD THE PHONE AGAIN THERE, CHARLIE.

SAY, LOUISE, DEAR.

UH, MAYBE YOU'D BETTER NOT RUN AWAY WITH THE STEW SO FAST.

YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT IT.

YEAH, I KNOW I DID. BUT, YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU'D BETTER NOT GO BY ME,

BECAUSE, UH, EDITH LIKES TO EAT STEW.

AND THE KIDS LIKE TO EAT STEW, AND I SAY, LET EVERYBODY EAT WHAT THEY WANNA EAT.

YOU KNOW, UH, LET THEM EAT CAKE,

TO QUOTE THE LATE MARK ANTOINETTE.

WELL, I'M VERY GLAD YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

HERE, EDITH. AND I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

ALL RIGHT. THANKS, LOUISE.

YEAH, I TELL YOU WHAT, CHARLIE, UH,

AS REGARDS THE, UH, PICKET DUTY TOMORROW,

COULD YOU GET SOMEBODY TO COVER FOR ME?

WELL, UH, NO. I WON'T BE THERE BECAUSE I'M ILL.

ILL, ILL, I-L-E.

I DON'T CARE, I DON'T CARE.

LISTEN, I COULD HARDLY DRAG MYSELF OUT OF THE SIDE

TO GET DOWN HERE TO THE PHONE, CHARLIE.

MY FAMILY'S SITTIN' HERE LOOKIN' VERY WORRIED AT ME.

YEAH, ALL RIGHT.

I'LL SEE YOU WHEN I SEE YOU. GOODBYE.

SHUT UP.

DON'T BE LOOKIN' AT ME THAT WAY WITH YOUR 2 EYES.

SERVE UP THE FOOD HERE.

THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T WANT ANY STEW, ARCH.

WELL, I CERTAINLY AIN'T GONNA SIT HERE AND WATCH YOU EAT IT ALL.

ARCH, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE ANY.

I MEAN, AFTER ALL, MRS. JEFFERSON MADE IT.

COULD BE SOUL FOOD, ARCH.

WELL, THEN, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO SHOULDN'T BE EATIN' IT IF IT'S SOUL FOOD.

YOU'RE AN ATHEIST.

GIVE ME THAT!

WORRYING IS NOT GONNA HELP YOU FIND A JOB. NOW, DON'T BE SO NERVOUS.

OH, I CAN'T HELP IT, GLORIA.

I PROTECTED MY UNDERARMS TWICE ALREADY.

JOIN THE BUNKER FAMILY NEXT WEEK,

AS INFLATION CONTINUES,

THE STRIKE GOES ON, AND EDITH GOES JOB HUNTING.

ALL IN THE FAMILY WAS RECORDED ON TAPE

BEFORE A LIVE AUDIENCE.

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