All language subtitles for 42.Grams.2017.1080p.WEBRip.x265-RARBG.eng

[silence]

This was the champagne cork
that we popped

when Jake and I got engaged.

I didn't know what I was
collecting them for originally.

It just felt wrong
to throw them away.

I just kept it going by keeping
everybody's corks

that have dined with us.

Jake asked me, "What are you
going to do with the corks."

I had no idea what I was
going to do with the corks.

I started just putting them in
bags and those bags

ended up in closets.

It's possible Jake threw some
corks away in the beginning

without me knowing.

This is what I salvaged.

It's just like a little piece
of people that they're kind of

leaving behind to say or
indicate that they - I was here.

They were here.

Maybe we're only open
for five years.

It's like a blink of an eye.

And say,
"Man, I was there when...."

♪

I've always thought I was like
as good if not better than the

other people that are
getting the opportunity.

The more and more people do
molecular and sous-vide and all

that - I use it but
it's a tool, right?

You don't overuse it.

I'm finding people don't
even know how to cook.

Chefs don't know how to cook.

I just think life would be
better in the culinary world if

more chefs - the chef
owners cook your food -

smaller restaurants.

They could be super bougie.

Like you can have elaborate
cart service and tablecloths and

all the waiters wearing bowties.

That's great.

But it should be
very small, intimate.

My intention for this restaurant
was to have something that

doesn't really exist.

At least I've never had.

Other restaurants -
they were built to have

what I call robots
working for them.

A person only has like
one part of the job.

They just follow
to a T a recipe.

They don't even know
what it means -

just do this exactly, right?

It's an assembly line.

I don't believe in that.
That's not cooking.

That's paint by numbers.

♪

Underground dining is unlicensed
restaurant or event with food.

It could be in a barn.

It could be in a warehouse.

It could be in a farm field.

It could be in
someone's apartment,

which I did.

Delivery. Literally it could be
whatever you want as long as

people show up,
it's underground dining.

People ask, "Do you have
another fridge in back?"

I'm like, "No, this is it."

And we have a little drawer -
little coves nestled - so like,

"Oh, this is ours."

We put something here.

I have one drawer of food.

I was born in Fond
du Lac, Wisconsin.

When my parents split I
was like seven, eight.

I ended up moving with my mom.

We lived in a singlewide trailer
home with just plywood floor and

there's no central heating.

You all had to
sleep, in the winter,

in the living room
with kerosene heaters.

I was like 12, 13 and I was
starting to get into cooking.

We just chopped down an old
apple tree that needed to

come down and I fired up the
grill and I made

a pizza right on the grill.

You're disconnected
a little bit.

We didn't have cable
or anything like that.

I wasn't shown on Food
Network how to do it.

It's one of those things
where I've always just done.

Like well, my
family's hungry and I'm bored.

I'm going to see if I can
cook them pizza on the grill

and obviously you can.

♪

So we've got the
frozen rhubarb juice.

This is coco-butter.

As you can see it's going
to harden quick

because these are frozen.

And we put it in the fridge and
the liquid will thaw and it'll

have a hard shell on the
outside cracked like an egg.

It surprises them every time.

They're like "What? You want me
to do what?"

You want it below 250 and
above 300 once the potatoes

are actually in there.

If they go below 250
they're just going to get mushy.

People love these chips, man.

This is on the soup and
they ask where we buy them.

It's pretty funny because
they're not Lays potato chips

but they're great potato chips.

Just give them a toss and I'll
let the oil come back

up to temp then.

I go through and just pick
out the ones that I don't like.

Not too many but sometimes
the thinner ones

get a little darker.

It's gratifying.

When we make perfect
potato chips it's gratifying.

So Escoffier, a
famous French chef,

I'm going to just paraphrase
here but he said the man that

puts all his heart and soul into
taking care of the fellow man

deserves consideration.

That's what I need.

Just fucking try, man.

Just do your best. That's it.

That makes a chef.
Really, that's all it is.

It says nothing about technique.

Before I even started Sous
Rising I had some to-do lists.

By age 30 work at Schwa which
I wanted to do which I did.

Build my name and ideas - that's
what Sous Rising actually is.

30 in August.

By 33 I want to win James Beard.

But it's going to
kind of go backwards.

And by 35 I wanted to own my
own successful restaurant,

but hopefully
that's much sooner.

People always say like,

"You guys
never even started cooking."

Or they always look back during
service and it's always clean

and they don't understand
where all the food comes from.

The prep is the hard part.

Service is the easy part.

I look at it just like football
- when I used to play football.

You're working out in practice
and getting the shit kicked

out of you, you know.

Then game day you
should be ready.

It should be easy.

I never want to practice again.

I just want to play the game.

People don't believe
us but we're like,

"The beet takes 24 hours."

I think people would appreciate
the beets a little more.

The technique I've found works
the best is I just take -

I hold them and I shape them
so they start to look

like a skateboard wheel.

There's one week when we had
four dinners and I did 50 beets.

I went home on the train.

My hands were - they
stain your hands pretty nice.

Sometimes all that
work for nothing.

Once you get to the
center of the beet,

it's garbage.

It's just rotten.
It's just a bad beet.

It's - most of it's washed
off but that's dried calcium.

Squish it.

There's a little nugget
inside that's pretty firm.

And then when I cook it again
in port wine
and I reduce it down it

it cooks like [indistinct]
and so when people cut it
it literally

feels on your knife
and looks like venison.

It has a bite to it.

♪

Down the road
there's a country club.

I started doing dishes there.

I want to be - I wanted to be
cooking the steaks

and cooking lobster.

I was 15.

I was like I don't
want to do dishes.

I want to cook.

One time the guy who was doing
the salads went out for a smoke

and an order came in.

I'm like I've been
paying attention.

I was like I kind of
see what he's doing.

I just literally went in
and started making it.

The chef didn't yell at me.

He looked at me
and he says,

"Oh, that's good.
You like cooking, huh?"

He saw that I was really
interested and he started to

teach me more and more.

I moved to Chicago just for
Trotter's from Wisconsin.

I didn't think I was
going to get a job.

I wanted to stage and I
was honored that they let me

in their kitchen.

And then I didn't
leave for a year and half.

I went there to stage and I
stayed there

for a year and a half.

Staging is usually a
working interview.

I learned how to
just get it done.

It's like - it's
impossible to do it.

No, it's not.

It's like, when
do you want this?

I want it now.

How do you want it?

I want it perfect
every single time.

You learn mental
strength like you're a chef.

He trained chefs.

He didn't want any cooks there.

Chef Trotter just passed away,
in the spirit of Chef Trotter -

it's like how can you even be a
chef if you don't know

how to sweep?

6:35!

This is what we wake up for.

When Jake and I started
Sous Rising I had a career

in advertising - media
planning and buying.

Monday through Friday
I'd hop the train,

go downtown.

I did my thing 9:00
to question mark

because in advertising
you work crazy hours.

So I'd come home
from work on Friday,

get ready and we'd have
people come over at 7:00 p.m.

and we'd get going until
11:00 - whatever time at night.

And then I'd go back
to work on Monday.

I'm a Type A workaholic so
Jake always tells me

like you don't know
how to relax.

That's probably true. I don't
know how to relax. So...

♪

Hi!

Hello.

This might be the place.

Oh, you betcha. Welcome.
Jake.

Hi. How do you do? Jeff.

Pleasure.

Hi. Dinah. How are you?

Hi. Welcome.

My wife Stephanie. Jake.

Welcome.

Hello Jake. I'm Chris.
Nice to meet you.

Hi, Lloyd. Nice to see you.
How are you doing?

My name's Michael.

I'm Stephanie.

Stephanie, nice to meet you.

You ladies are welcome to
put your purses and jackets

or anything you need to relieve
yourselves of on the couch.

I will take wine from
any of you that want wine.

Mike, you can start water.

Welcome everybody, to Sous
Rising Underground

dining experience.

My name, again, is Alexa.

I'm Jake's wife, your hostess
and server for the evening.

If you have any questions about
anything in front of you here on

the table they are
the guys to ask.

Sous chef means under chef.

You're the second in
command - that kind of thing.

You really don't
get the limelight.

So Sous Rising is just having a
platform to express who I am

as a chef, as a person.

I met Alexa, now my wife, and
I started to kind of think.

She has a 9 to 5 job.

It's like, maybe I
can change careers.

I don't know why but I
was getting burned out.

Like this is crazy.

What am I working for?

It was to the point where
there was nothing left for me.

I could either move
or do my own thing.

But I didn't have the
means to just like,

"OK, I'm ready to
open up a restaurant."

I don't think I
was mentally ready.

I decided to go back to school.

I talked to her and,
"Go back to school."

Just stopped working altogether.

Physical therapy.

I was cooking all these really
nice dinners for Alexa

and just friends.

I was like, "I think
I really miss this."

I asked Alexa, "Can I invite
strangers into our home

and charge them? Would you be
OK with that?"

Alexa said, "Yeah, you're crazy
if you think people are going to

pay money to come
eat at our house."

And it was more like, "How
long is this going to last?

Whatever. But we'll try it."

Yeah.

It was never supposed to be like
how we're going to turn

this into a restaurant.

It was just OK, Jake needs an
outlet for his food creativity

and this is what
we're going to do.

I mean, in
hindsight it's like,

"Oh, that was insane."

But when you're
in it you're like,

"OK, we'll do
this once a month."

And then it turns
into, "OK, twice a month."

And it just keeps
snowballing and growing.

Every time you pushed
yourself it seemed like,

"Oh, we'll never be
able to do this."

And then we did it and so you
just kind of kept moving forward

more and more and more.

♪

Hi, you've got
Alexa and Jake here.

Well, thanks. How are you?

I'm here. Can you hear me?

Sous rising was really R&D
for about a year and a half and

we've been able to put together
a brick and mortar restaurant.

It used to be a fast food
fried chicken establishment.

Right there.

Commuting - pretty easy.

It's all going to get redone.

The yellow might stay
because it's great.

No, I'm just kidding.

But an old fried chicken joint
and we're going to turn it into

a fine dining destination.

We want it to feel like our home
and we actually live upstairs

and we want you to feel
very comfortable like

you're in our house.

♪

The hardest part is the
people part - organizing people.

It's a lot of
- Project management.

Yeah, it's a lot
of moving parts.

That's why you have me.
- That's why I have you.

November 23rd, 2013 -
end of Sous Rising,

beginning of the next.

Yeah.
- Yeah.

So the name is just a riff
on the premise

that the soul weighs 21 grams.

So 42 Grams represents what both
Jake and I bring to the space -

21 plus 21 being 42.

The first guy that
I hired, Mike Noll,

is supposed to flawlessly come
to the restaurant.

But then he had to move away
because they had a baby

and had to move the family.

This week or everything?

It sucks.

I need to make sure it is at
the level it needs to be and

sometimes it comes off very
impersonal and it - it sucks.

I get it.

But I do it to myself as well.

But he got it.

You got it.

You never fucking
go say,

"You know,
you can go fuck yourself."

You're like, "I get it."

I understand, move on.

You fucking busted your ass.

For almost a year,
fucking busted your ass.

Thank you. Thank you.

How did - PBR and a fucking
champagne glass

really just did that.

Did you hear that?

A closet.

It's going back to a bedroom.

All of this is going to leave
and go downstairs

and it'll be a closet again.

There will be a bed in here and
a dresser and it'll be a -

just like a real home.

Like what?
What?

Yeah, exactly.

Those butcher blocks are
going to have to find a home.

Yeah, you're going to be
like, "In the garage."

Maybe it was like the
biggest con in my life -

no, just kidding - to get her to
say yes to this and then also,

"Hey, why don't you work
with me in the restaurant?"

I was thinking about that.
You brainwashed her.

No, I didn't.
She's excited, man.

Why wouldn't she be
excited about that?

We're opening a restaurant
January 10th and I'm still

working full time
Monday through Friday.

One of the things that I brought
up was my grandmother's silver

tea set and her wedding silver -
like her flatware or whatever.

And so we're going to use her
flatware on the Trotter course.

So it's not as fancy.
It's not sterling silver.

It's nickel silver but
it's got some age to it.

I've never thrown anything away
so I use the backs of old menus.

I get very frustrated when I
have to waste printer paper.

So this is probably $30, right?

How many of those
do I have up there?

Maybe like $100 worth
of paper that -

it's kind of crazy for paper.

Depends on how much it weighs.
Probably $1400.

This dorsi.
This is like the deckle.
This is the best piece.

It's so marbled.
I usually eat that.

Trim that up. Chef snack.

That - marbling. It's insane.

Like 50/50.

So this is the tricky part.

Every little gram you're
taking off you're like,

"OK, it's $93 a
pound, $93 a pound."

But you don't want them
to eat that shit, right?

Then it's like OK,
then you have -

you trim it then you have like
a goofy shape.

Then do you trim it
and lose all this extra,

right, to be higher
end, you know,

to have a nicer shape to it?

It's like, what do you do?

I trim it because
that's what I was taught.

And then I use
the rest for sauce.

It's not like it goes to
waste but it still hurts.

Executing it is one thing but
figuring how to do 12 new things

on a menu on a 15 course menu -
like I get a lot of ideas that

are really cool but if it
doesn't have passion behind it,

if it doesn't mean
something to me,

I'll fall out of love with
it and I'll just ignore it.

It could be a relationship or
a food - it's the same thing.

Grab some books.

I worked with Tom at Trotter's
and he doesn't like

fork and service.

He's more of an R&D guy.

He's more of behind the scenes.

I can get some spoons
but basically

there's two ways I see this.

Here's the control.

This is just regular barley.

So he's working on the fermented
grains that kind of stuff

and the koji.

I allowed it to ferment at
135 sous-vide for two hours.

So basically I
cooked the barley forage.

Is it gross?

It's not gross.
I'm going to tell you right now.
It's extremely bitter.

Why?

And I have some theories
as to why it's bitter.

I stopped it after two hours.
Now I have a four hour one.

You can see the four hour
one - see how liquidy it is?

K.

The starches are starting to
break down so much

that they're just liquid.

Out of all of this
what's your favorite?

Pick one; you have to pick one.

The last one.
- This one?

Yeah.
- This is your favorite?

I'm not bound my classic
training or culinary school

where you learn something and
that's kind of how

you have to do it.

Some grains of paradise.

People ask, "How do you
come up with this and that?"

The reality is it's because
I'm free to do whatever I want.

Is this the good stuff?

I want to put this
with fried mushrooms.

Oh, yeah. That's right. OK.

So that's going to have enough
texture to make it -

This is just an idea.

Just embrace the
earthiness, color of it.

So that's nice, see?
I like the texture of that.
- Oh, yeah.

It looks actually
really interesting.

What do you think?

Not every course has to
have every color

of the rainbow in it.

When you want to shatter some
of these preconceptions about a

plated dish -
I think most plated dishes
nowadays - fine dining -

Too complicated. Too much.

It looks like a cluster fuck.

Looks like a grenade of their
mise en place just went off

on the plate.
That's what it looks like!

How it looks texturally - how it
looks and how it plates -

that's good. Very good.

I don't know how
the flavor is though.

That's the $64,000 question.

How's it taste?

A fluid gel - blood orange
fluid gel - what do you think?

The only thing with making
the fluid gel is the acidity.

So you might have to work
with sequestering something.

Yeah, we've got sodium citrate.

I'm not scared, man.
- I know.

It literally doesn't need much.

It's just like, huh,
there's citrus under there.

It just needs like
three pea sized dots;

would you agree?
- Sure.

Just in different spots.
You get different bites.

You can see you eat that,
you have a little -

oh, there's blood orange
under there, right?

And it has a sweetness
in it that's natural.

You can tell people,
"Look, there's no added sugar
into this.

It's all the natural starches
that have been broken down
by the enzymes."

That's - you
can't leave that out.

If you leave that out then
there's no point in doing the

koji because that's
part of the story.

This is a three
Michelin star dish.

It's simple but complex.

Nobody's doing that.

♪

What did I order from you?
Nothing, right?

We don't need
anything this week.

Just kidding.

Check these out.

You're going to punch me.

What is this?
These the blue foots
from France?

They're local?

No, they're from Europe.

I was going to say -
like France, right?

Yeah.

But what else did you get?

I got your chantys
if you want these.

This is the most
I've ever paid you.

I know.

And we don't even
have service this week.

What?
- It's R&D week.

Oh yeah that's all?
- I just need stuff to look at.

I want these separated to the
most beautiful perfect ones to

one side and the ones that are
broken and not so beautiful

to another side.

The ones that are
broken or whatever, yeah?

Make sure they're clean and
then we're going to dry those.

We're going to put
them in the dehy, OK?

We're going to turn
those into a powder.

So they say chef's
main thing is like,

with creativity, what's
your focal point

and they say ingredients.

To me it's not about ingredients
because I get like this thought

but a thought doesn't
really have a picture to it.

It's really got a feeling.

Kind of like taste, you
know, that kind of thing?

And so I'm trying
to recreate that.

I get a visual in my
head of my feeling.

So a lot of times it's very
confusing so I just get stuff

and then I try things until
that feeling is recreated.

And then I refine that.
- That's interesting.

Is that weird?
- No.

But that's how it is.

Comfort food, Thai food.

I'm trying to interpret
my feelings about Thai.

I love Thai food
but I hate chicken.

And I hate chicken but
it's what I get

so I want something better.

What - in my head -
what is it that I want?

What texture, flavor?
I want sturgeon.

I want crispy chicken skin.

To me that's the best chicken in
the world - the perfect sturgeon

with chicken skin -
crispy chicken skin.

♪

We're playing
with roasted banana.

Don't really know what
we're going to do with it.

We'll see what happens.

Like this just cooked down turns
almost like to a pudding or

almost like a carmel
- a banana butter.

Coi. Daniel Patterson's book
from San Fran -

he's a two Michelin star chef.

He said something
really interesting.

A lot of restaurants even if
it's interesting and intricate

they lose track of what a
hell a dessert's supposed to do.

It's supposed to
just be delicious.

Do we call it a
butter, a pudding?

What do you think texture-wise?

What it looks like.
It looks like pudding.

It's got the roast banana,
tamarind ice cream.

I like to do somewhat
monochromatic courses.

Mentally I think what are
you going to think what those

flavors are?

And they're all going
to be very different.

Like banana, luscious.
This can be really tart.

Canelé - you've got
your pastry obviously.

This is hazel nut which should
pair well with everything here.

What do you think? How do you
think this looks?

You want to eat this?

I wonder what the cold ice
cream does to the texture

of the canelé.

It's going to harden
it up a little more?

You're going to
have to find out, fool.

It's good.

It's almost chocolatey and
there's no fucking chocolate.

It's really good. I like it.

Yeah.

And I think the canelé's
supposed to have texture.

You have the cake so we need -
we really need texture so we

really need a
crust on that canelé.

It needs to go in longer.

At least eight more
minutes - eight to ten minutes.

Trying. The canelé's not right.

I'm going to make
them next time.

These are like
deflated and crappy.

Why?

Is that done? Not yet, right?

There should be a canelé on it?

The canelés aren't ready.

This is what you're
going to eat for an idea.

OK.

Do you understand that
the canelés are not ready?

OK. Stop getting frustrated.
- OK.

Eat that.
Just tell me how that is.

Don't - canelés don't
exist here right now. OK?

That is good.

Very good.

Like I said, we've just
got to get the canelés down.

So just take a bite.
That's an idea, right?

All right. We've got
to get better at that one.

Flour. See flavor-wise you're OK
but the flour - it looks -

it's not good.

It should look more
like this all around.

But we used cake flour which has
less gluten so we need to use

bread flour that has more
gluten thus it's going to get a

crunchier, crisper texture on
the outside instead of looking

like burnt cake.

They are delicious.
That guy's a nerd.

I turned up the
temp a little bit.

If we needed 475 maybe we
need to let it rip at 500.

That's done. Pull it out.

It's got a white ass.

Put it back in.
Three more minutes.

Set it. Timer.
What do you think?

It's close.
They look good. It's better.

Canelé - something so simple.

It's just a custard - egg sugar
- it's such a simple recipe

but it is so finicky.
It needs so much attention.
It needs every little step.

And I'm not kidding you -
every little step along the way.

It needs to be thawed
out, looked at closely,

paid attention -
it's very intimate.

♪

You know, you try to
make a new language, right?

We're trying to make
42 Grams language.

Even though it's
similar to everybody else,

it's not.

We're trying to
find our own voice,

do our own thing.

Doing something completely
new is very difficult.

So you learn.

It could be anything.

That's kind of the blessing
where if you can - if you just

have hope and
faith and that -

like this is
such a fucking nightmare.

Hopefully I - God, give me
something I can take

with me forever.

Like even if this menu fails let
me learn something that I can

take with me that makes sense.

That's I would love to have two
because I don't think

we're a good restaurant.

I think we're world class and
where we're going is worth it.

♪

I'll be very disappointed if
it doesn't hit two right away.

I want to hit - start out
right away at two stars.

He wants us everybody to come at
it from the perspective that

he does and you just - obviously
it's not going to happen.

So he just needs to get better
at accepting that he can't -

people aren't always going to
love 100% of everything

that he does.

And that's the whole premise of
the restaurant is to support his

vision and what he wants to do.

So it doesn't
have to be commercially popular.
I mean, this isn't McDonalds.

No, we kind of went into it like
if there's no appreciation for

what it is that he's doing
then we change what we're doing.

We wouldn't do that. We would do
something different.

So we've approached this as
let's just see if it works.

Let's give Jake a platform.

This is what he wants to do.

So if it's not commercially
viable then we would scrap the

whole thing and just
do something else.

We'll do something
that's more approachable
for everybody, right?

Just do a hot dog stand.

Fuck.

Let's fucking go, guys.

I'm really - I'm like -
I'm fucking hustling here.

I need you guys to help me.

Yes?

Let's get this put away -
just somewhere - back cooler.

It's stuff I don't need.

We don't need this
but we need that, yes?

This is - Matt, all this
needs to be fucking washed.

My fault. I fucked up.

So before we even opened I hired
somebody - it wasn't service.

It was a couple of days
before so we could

start working on prep.

This is not - I - I'm
not going to take the job.

I'm moving back to
Kansas or whatever.

That started me with like
not trusting these cooks.

Did you guys roll the beets yet?

Let's fucking move.

You guys aren't 15, dude.

You understand that, right?

You're not 15 years old.
I told you one thing.

You should be able to do it, OK?

Figure it out. Move.

Hey, chef this is what I did.

Is that OK? Great.

Thanks for trying.

Let's fucking go, yes?

What are you guys going to do
when it's your own restaurant?

Ask somebody else what the
fuck you're going to do?

Are you going to wait?

Are you going to wait for
someone else to come in and say,

"Hey, this is
what you should do?"
Let's go.

So I asked Tom.

I says, "Tom, are you busy?
Are you working?"

He said,
"No, I'm free. I've got -
what do you need?"

Tom really fucking saved my ass.

I was doing like 20 hour days
for I don't know how many

days in a row.

I - I didn't even
know what day it was.

You're not going to
become a millionaire here.

You're going to be able to
survive and enjoy a good living

but learn - it's the idea
that - to be honest with you,

I need help but how I thought
of it - how Trotter told me too,

you actually work for other
people and they

actually pay you to learn.

So they're looking at it like,
"Oh, I want a career."

You don't have a career.

Just because you went
to school means shit.

Talk to this guy.

Tom, going to school
means shit, right?

I think they all think - it's
kind of like - I think reality

TV fucked it up, number one.

Well, I can just - I need to be
a celebrity chef -

that kind of bullshit.

When I was at Trotter's we got
- he - this fucker -

who cares about me.

He worked for free. He -
how long, a year?

One year exactly.

A year stage.
He wasn't an intern or anything.

He staged for free for a year.
That's dedication.

I went for kind
of like a fun day.

I'd never set foot in a kitchen
before so I kind of go in there

and just wash dishes for 16
hours and at the end of the day

the executive sous chef asked
me to keep coming back so I kept

coming back every weekend.

I was with Jake - pretty
much every day I was there.

The fact that I volunteered
there was kind of good too

because it forced me to learn.

It wasn't just for money.

It forced me to appreciate the
small things and learn how to be

respectful and learn
how to do good prep work,

to take pride in your work even
though it's doing things like

picking micro-greens.

I took the most
pride in my work.

Cool. Japanese flavors, I guess.

The duck we sous-vide 57
Celsius for 20 minutes.

Then we're going to grill it.

Like, oh, duck tongue.

If you hear about it
it could be scary.

That's scary.

How could you be scared
of that little thing?

Duck skin crumb.

Duck jous with
prickly ash baked eggplant.

It's like Szechuan peppercorn,
dehydrated merengue

with long bean and umeboshi.

It's a lot going on.

I haven't plated it before.

First time plating it.

The flavors I guess
I knew go together.

I guess - I don't know - a
lot of times I just have ideas.

I'm positive that it'll
work - like in my head.

Is that fair? I don't know.

Right. That's true.

But the ones that don't work
I'll be honest with you

I'm not confident about.

Hey, girls, I'm going
to be plating this, OK?

Is that just the jous or
is there -

This is the jous from the duck,
yeah.

First time plating it.
What do you think? No?

Organic - yeah, it looks good.

It's fucking awesome.

I don't need your opinion.
I'll tell you my opinion.
I'll tell you your opinion.

I actually like the green plate
with the red - the brownish rim.

That's what I like. Looks good.
I like it.

The flavors are going
to be cool I think.

Different.

It's really bizarre to open
up a restaurant with this much

ambition but yet we don't
have that much cooler space.

We're still waiting
on some equipment.

Most of the stuff came from my
house from Sous Rising

and I don't even
have the staff yet.

I've got a bigger stove
but that's really about it.

Don't fuck with me, Tom.

Excuse me?

Don't fuck with me.

All right.

I left work a little early today
so that I could get ready

for dinner service at 6:30.

All right,
ladies and gentlemen,
we're going to go ahead

and get started.

So I'll extend a collective
welcome to everyone to 42 grams.

My name, again, in case you
caught it and forgot it,
is Alexa.

I will be taken care of you
guys up front this evening.

Taking care of you here in the
kitchen from a food perspective,

you have Chef Jake right there.

It feels natural.
It feels like Sous Rising.

I mean, you know, that level.

But it's for real now, you know.

Like Sous Rising was serious,
don't get me wrong

but it was underground.

It's almost like whatever.

Now it's the big game.

It's real as in
reviews and more people.

And then Alexa and I put a
lot into it of our own money.

Like Sous Rising was - we
invested a lot of money but it

wasn't like, all right, let's
see what we've got in savings.

Shit. The pressure's on me, man.

Don't worry about it.

We've got shit to do, man.

You've got to put
crispy snacks out.

Tom - soup.

Let the world
fucking blow up out there.

I don't give a shit.
We're doing soup, yeah?

It's really got to go.

Tom, sell the plates.
Push them out.
Make sure they're clean.

One second. One second.

It's spinach, OK - purple.

Please. Where's my caviar?

Where's my other caviar?

What the fuck, dude?
Leave my shit alone.

God damn it.

I wish Jake was a little bit
better at dealing with stress.

He just tends to
yell at everybody.

Yes, go, go, go, go.

Lexa - fucking move.

Who took my oil?
Don't take my oil bin.

Tom, I need you to help
me start cleaning shit up.

Like just tighten everything up.
You know what I'm saying?

Change delis, change things.

I do.

Mike - he knew everything.

I need Mike.

Tom? Tom?
Go ahead.

Before the next
pecorino -

not now, but later.

We need to do this.

Put that fuckin' thing down.
No, put it down.

Later. We need to get this out.

God damn it.

Maybe I don't speak.
I don't even know.

I have no fuckin'
idea what I'm saying.

Yeah, I think it is in the back.

That's it.

It's going pretty well.

I mean Jake just came in and
said that we finished

the first seating on time.

Even though it was stressful
it was really fast and when the

second group comes in it
just makes things - the tension

starts rising because you
know you're on the clock.

Gin, cucumber and hibiscus.

That's the main
components of it.

So I play it up
with Hendrick's gin.

Hendrick's gin is
one of my favorites.

And it has botanicals
of cucumber and rose.

So I played off of that.

So we did
rosewater sorbet, a snow,

hibiscus granita - there's a
gin gelee - it looks like an

ice cube, orchids - they're
in the cucumber family.

Take a little bit
of everything, OK?

A little bit of the gin, a
little bit of the rosewater -

but just take it all in one
bite and then go ahead and get

everything else and it will be
al little slushy at the end.

Drink that up, OK?

Welcome to 42 Grams.

Thank you.

When we're discussing how those
other kitchens work -

not all of them but some -
a lot actually -
they only come with

some of the courses,
believe it or not.

And the sous chefs and the chef
de cuisine actually come up with

the rest of the courses.

Then there's a lot of the
times the chef's not even there

because whatever -
they're doing other things.

Good for them but it's like
you're not putting your heart to

take care of somebody else.

Actually it's for you.

So you don't have to be in the
restaurant and you can be on

book tours and whatever.

It was never
intended for the guest.

Oh, this is for me.

Hey.

You little firecracker.

♪

I do it all.

Alexa does it all.

What chef preps
all your food too?

Cleans your - I'm
not complaining.

I'm just - I feel like they
should be angry that some other

places are kind of
ripping you off -

artistically ripping you off.

It's a lot of money to go to
these restaurants and what if

you spent the same amount of
money to go see Neil Young at

the Chicago theater and he
decided to take a day off

and he put his understudy in?

His chef du cuisine,
his sous chef musician?

I don't need two stars to know
that I'm legit but

for other people -
certain people, right?

Will be like holy shit,
what's going on over there?

Thank you.

So that's why 42 Grams is what
it is and that's why the name

is what it is.

Me and Alexa - that we're always
going to be here -

that kind of stuff.
And I'll always be
cooking for you.

Alexa and I are
personally taking care of you.

If you're very different I don't
think people want to be around

you even if they respect
your craft or what you can do.

You just don't fit
into their circle.

Then you're an outsider and I
guess that's why I had a

chip on my shoulder.
I always busted my ass.

I always thought I was as good
as anybody else but I was never

in the club, you know.

That bothered me.

Family meal is like the
first meal we eat all day long.

And it's tomorrow.

So literally we eat
breakfast at midnight - 12:04.

Best part of the leftover food.

But the leftover food's awesome
so - we can make some fuckin' -

we need fried rice with
faroe salmon long bean.

What do chefs eat?

Mayonnaise.

Mayonnaise, hot sauce.

Friday, May 2nd was
my last day of work.

I gave them four weeks' notice.

This is just really heating
up and I need to be here

doing stuff full time.

Doing it Jake and I without an
investor and it was like we're

really putting our
money where our mouth is.

At the end of the day you
can't take it with you anyway.

Before we opened I put up all
the Sous Rising corks

into this frame.

This is the one that we popped
the night that we wrapped up

Sous Rising.

So if you haven't been here
you immediately walk in from the

streets of Chicago here in
uptown and it's hustling

and bustling and come in and all
the sudden you're right

in our living room.

There isn't this grand lobby
or hostess stand or whatever.

Alexa is right at the
door greeting people and you

immediately just
see the kitchen.

It's like completely open.

They sit right here at the
counter and there's absolutely

nothing between them and me.

They're completely immersed
before they even touch any food.

Everything's transparent.

I didn't want anything
that was potentially fake.

We do have a dishwasher now.
That's great.

Haywood.

Well, I didn't even hire him.

He just showed up
and he wouldn't leave.

Please photoshop all smears.
- Oh, my God.

And lint out.

All right. You ready?

That's pretty cool.

I like it.

Hopefully it's
cover shot worthy.

Awesome, babe.

She's like - leave me alone.

I've got like 15
things happening.

She reminds me how my mom used
to treat me when I was a kid.

I know that sounds
weird but it's like,

"Oh, OK. Just leave me alone."

People have a weird
pre-conceived notion

of being a chef.

♪

I drank too much the
other night when -

yeah, laugh all you want,
asshole.

Fucking - when the reader and
tasting table was here I had

like three shots.
I was like, fuck.

I was like - get trashed
nervous before I had to

cook them awesome food.

We nailed it. I was very happy.
Like nailed it.

Like, oh my -
They're like, "What the fuck?"

The uni was just so good.

We're in our own
imaginary world really.

We live upstairs
of the restaurant.

We're in this
building almost nonstop.

There's a difference between
work and you're a prisoner

of your own restaurant.

Honestly the only time I
wish that is when

he's having a meltdown.

And you're like, "Oh, my God.
Would you keep it together?"

Oh, I was fixing it.

Going out to dinner
should be fun, right?

It's an escape.
It's an indulgence.

I hate to say you want
to keep up the façade, right?

Because like again, being
genuine and authentic is

very important so it's not
like I'm going to fake it.

But it's more like
I'm going to omit.

♪

The most difficult part of the
setup - any young chef that I

have working with me
- Alexa?

There's no other buffer.

Emory - Emory.

Why aren't they cut down?

You did not go through them?

You didn't go through onions,
you didn't go through geraniums.

That's awesome.

One stage came in late.

I asked him, "Why are you late?"

He's like, "Well,
cause I'm new here."

OK.

And he walked past me and he
walked past me again

the other way, walked out.

He was in and out.

And then he sent
an email saying,

"I didn't feel
like working today because
I didn't feel appreciated."

I'm like, "I'm sorry."

People. I don't know.

25.

I get questions all the time
where young kids - cooks that

want to come work for free
and want me to mentor them.

And that's not a good idea.

I'm not a nurturing person.

Did you soak these, man?

Did you put these
in the fuckin' -

didn't do anything with them,
did you?

Yeah, I can see that.

Is this how we do
it at 42 Grams?

Why the fuck are we
talking about this.

Can we do something else?
Can we cook for some people?

Yes.

Fuck.

It's a fuckin' hard job, man.

Charlie was fuckin' - he
would throw plates at you.

He would fuckin' go on the
pass and grab you by your neck.

No joke.

Hell, no.

Probably two things -
me is one, yeah.

There's a lot of stress.

I'm not complaining but - not
making any excuses but the truth

is I was drinking a lot.

I went to AA.

It was enlightening.

It was weird, obviously.

I was scared to admit maybe I -
not maybe but I'm an alcoholic

and there's nothing I can
change the rest of my life.

So I'm like I can't - I'm
not like everybody else.

I don't have a filter
as in I'm on or off.

Go or stop.

I'm either going to
do it or I don't.

So I can't drink.

I've got too much
to lose, you know.

Still have Haywood.

Why not?

He loves it here.

Haywood, why are you still here?

Huh?

See, he don't care.

Why do you still work here?

OK. That's right.
We're family.

You hear a lot of husband
and wife teams talk about how

there's separation
of church and state.

Like when you get home you don't
talk about business anymore.

And I just - I don't know how
people do that because usually

when we're working there's no
time to talk about

all the extra superfluous stuff.

We're business
pretty much all the time.

My mom has brain cancer and
she's moving in

to do her hospice care with us.

There's a reality perception
difference in what people think

and what really
happens when people ask,

"What are your
favorite restaurants?

Where do you guys
like to go out to eat?"

I'm like, "We don't have
time to go out to eat."

"Oh, my God. What do your
friends do when you guys
come over for dinner?"

I'm like, "What friends?"

"Oh my gosh, you must
travel all over the world.

You must eat everywhere."

And we're like, "We
don't have time to travel."

Oh, well, fuck.
I fucked this up.

I remember when we had
this little corner filled
and it's like,

"Wow! Look at how many
corks we have!"

Now, it's like, "Oh, I'm
about to run out of space.

What do I do next?"

People always think
that this is a river.

It's just a negative space to
delineate Sous Rising

from 42 Grams. That's all.

I just wanted to
keep them separate.

Jake and I knew it was
going to be a lot of hard work.

We're like let's just
kill it for a year

without us physically dying.

Like the first four months I
worked full time

plus did this at night.

It's not as impactful to me.
I didn't live this life for -

Jake, how long
have you been a chef?

I've been cooking
since I was 15.

Is it 15 years, 16 years?
So I think it's cool.
I'm excited.

It's kind of like Christmas.
I'm anxious to see.

I'll be happy with, you know,
if Jake gets recognized

for what he's been working
so hard for.

It's pretty cool
that someone can,

in their home, do an
underground dining, right?

Someone with a vision.

We're going to
open up a restaurant.

It's going to be amazing.

People are going to like it.

And within the first year we're
going to get a Michelin star.

Yeah, it's -

Right here.

Should I get my pointer.

Yeah, I think -
I think it'll go right here.
Right here.

It can remind me.

I'm the realist and I could
never - I would have never even

started down this journey if
it wasn't for Jake wanting to.

So that's why we do
make a good team.

We balance each other out.

He has this vision of
how it's going to go.

And when it does
not go that way,

he gets very upset.

With that aside,
no stars, one star,

two, three stars -
whatever comes or doesn't come,

you know, there's going to be a
lot of emotion - high or low.

No matter what.
I think I'm ready for it.

I'm serious, Jake.

I bet you started -
calls started going out

between 6:00 and 7:00 a.m.

Then they're assholes.

They have a lot
of people to call.

It's November 11th at 7:30 a.m.

We're waiting to see if
we're going to get a call from

Michelin about being
included in the 2015 guide.

And here is the man of the hour
looking all fresh like a daisy.

It smells good in here.

Yeah, you want to help me?

What do you want first - toast?

Yeah. Check it
and make it's not burned.

The chef.

The chef.

Well, there's nothing in there.
- It's in the toaster.

Now we wait.

Yeah, I did.

Enough. Three or four hours.

Yeah, he came to bed
about 4:00 in the morning.

We've been waiting for
five hours - everybody has.

We could wait for another three.

Or they could call right now.

No updates?

No updates. I've been gone -
two minutes?

Two minutes.

I keep doing stuff hoping it
will trigger Murphy's Law

to have the phone call
come while I'm -

You're trying
to push through time
and make things happen

so other things need to happen?

I'm trying to force the
universe, yeah.

We're celebrating a good day.

We don't know what that is yet.

Phone call.

Christ, are you kidding me?

You've been waiting.
Turn it off.

Hello, this is Jake.

Hi, Jake, I'm calling
from the Michelin Guide.
How are you?

Good. How are you?

Good, thanks. Where are you?

I'm at home.

Oh, you're at home. That's nice.
Good for you.

So you know the new edition of
the Michelin guide in Chicago

is on sale tomorrow.

And in advance of that I'm
calling you with

some really good news.

Oh, yeah. What's that?

Your restaurant, 42 Grams, is
being awarded two Michelin stars

in the new edition of the guide.

Hell, yeah. Thank you.

Congratulations.

Wait, so - let me make -
you said two stars, right?

Two stars.

That is -

I'm glad you're on speaker.
Congratulations to both of you.

Thank you. That is amazing.
Thank you so much.

Enjoy.
Hope you can celebrate tonight.

We're going to
celebrate right now.

OK. Congratulations again.

Thank you.
Two stars.

I just opened the champagne.

Let's do a toast. Cheers.

Come on. Ching, ching.

Holy shit.

You're a two star
Michelin chef, babe.

Can you please toast me?
You're leaving me hanging.

Cheers. Love you.

Congratulations. Drink slowly.

I've got to text Kara.

Holy fuckin' shit.

I'm just happy that somebody
recognized what I thought I am.

So it does validate.
I feel validated now.

♪

When we got our two Michelin
stars in the first year

we popped a couple of bottles of
champagne so I drew stars

on those and put those in.

So one as Jake was getting the
call and I think one

later that night
maybe with dinner.

It is rewarding but
it's completely hard work.

We put our marriage on hold
really this whole time -

for the last - put everything
on hold -

ourselves, our marriage,
our friends, our family.

Just running the restaurant.
That's the hardest part for me.

And somewhere along the
way you lose your identity.

Or your identity
becomes just a restaurant.

I definitely have
people that are like,

"Are you having so much fun?"

And it's almost
like they're like,

"Tell me the story of how
much fun you're having."

They just want to live
vicariously through success

or happiness or whatever it is
that they perceive
from the outside.

And in a dinner party you don't
want to be like Debby Downer -

be like, "Well, actually let me
tell you the flip side of how

all of this has gone down."

And I think what I can't talk
about in that moment is how

there's always been like the
ying to the yang

in terms of personal loss.

So across our journey
we've lost three parents.

I've lost both of my parents.
Jake just lost his mom.

We actually lost our moms within
about six weeks of each other.

Like every day there was
the schedule of

what do we need to do with mom?

Oh, yeah, we also have to
get the restaurant ready.

Oh, yeah, I've got
to work at night.

And, oh yeah,
you're supposed to be married
and have a relationship.

So it's like, oh.

The only time I really dwell
on it or really get -

is really hard
is like the quiet times.

Like when I'm putting on my
makeup and there's nothing else

to focus on and my mind is kind
of clear of like a billion tasks

of what I'm going to have to do.

That's when it gets hard to kind
of drown it out

or not think about it.

We were doing hospice care with
me mom and I'm doing the service

at night and there are
definitely moments where you

just want to scream
or pull your hair out.

And you're like,
"It's all a lie."

It's all just stu- like you just
want to have this is -

but again there's a -
that is life, right?

I mean in the beginning
it's like run, run, run.

You're trying to
start something,

build something
amazing which we did.

But all the sudden
you look back and like,

"Oh, my God. Who am I? I don't
recognize myself."

The irony of it is that we put
all our heart and soul in the

restaurant and we did -
there's nothing left.

Oh my God.

He parked right in
front of the tire.

If there's any - I was just
going to say -

have him pull around
because you guys
are like - Holy crap.

That's OK.

Yeah, there's a puddle.

[chattering]

I'll go back for your husband.

Watch the giant puddle.

We have a flood inside.
Because it's raining.
It's monsoon outside.

♪

I give 42 Grams
everything I have and what
it gave me in return is

absolute confidence to do
whatever the hell I want.

When I first
started the restaurant,

yeah, I had a chip on my
shoulder where I wanted

the Michelin - the two Michelin.

I wanted to get James
Beard or the Jean Banchet.

And it doesn't
really do anything.

It's very shallow.
It's short-lived.

Now what keeps me going is
the connection with people.

If I didn't do anything
the rest of my life -

if you could just skip
to when I'm 80
and I'm sitting on a chair

outside in the woods of
Wisconsin by a campfire,

I would be very
proud of what we did.

Like I said, it's not only that
restaurants aren't important -

no, but our
connections with people are.

I didn't know how
important that was until now.

I want to feel like I did
something good on this planet.

Food is just a medium.

It's really a connection of
random people that want

one thing - the good
times, good experience.

And that's all it is.
That's all I do.

It's like the food is
just my way of talking.

For us now it's about
traveling and it's about living.

I think the first 2-and-a-half
years it wasn't living.

It was doing.

And so now we close the
restaurant a lot more.

We take longer vacations.

We now can start traveling and
start doing all these things

that people think we're doing.

It's not about 42 Grams.
We are 42 Grams.
42 Grams is us.

We're connected.

♪