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1
00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:07,440
We are ghosts.
2
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:08,742
While most spirits pass on
3
00:00:08,808 --> 00:00:10,110
to the afterlife, we are
4
00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:11,277
cursed to spend eternity...
5
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,779
Oh, and she's gone.
6
00:00:12,846 --> 00:00:14,547
Now what's going
to happen to the house?
7
00:00:14,614 --> 00:00:16,616
This must be them, the new
folks that own the house.
8
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,285
Why don't we just
try haunting?
9
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:19,285
Oh!
10
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,287
We scare them away.
We're ghosts!
11
00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,622
We did it!
12
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:25,492
W-Watch out!
13
00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:26,593
Oh.
14
00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,294
Oh, my God! Sam? Sam!
15
00:00:28,361 --> 00:00:29,763
I hope
you were at least as upset
16
00:00:29,829 --> 00:00:31,598
when I was technically dead
for three minutes.
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00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:33,666
This can't be real.
18
00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:33,666
What are you looking at?
19
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,035
I think you're right.
She can see us.
20
00:00:33,733 --> 00:00:36,035
Uh-huh.
21
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,502
:
Ah.
22
00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:10,670
Hello!
23
00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:20,246
Well?
24
00:01:20,313 --> 00:01:22,248
Yup, she can still see us.
25
00:01:22,315 --> 00:01:23,583
Yes!
26
00:01:23,650 --> 00:01:24,851
Also, she's apparently
a little cranky
27
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before she's had her coffee.
28
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,354
♪ ♪
29
00:01:33,359 --> 00:01:35,662
Troops, never before have we
possessed the ability
30
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:37,597
to communicate with a Living.
31
00:01:37,664 --> 00:01:39,732
We are in uncharted waters.
32
00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:43,470
Those are worst type of waters,
unless, of course, you find cod.
33
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:44,771
This opens up intriguing
34
00:01:44,838 --> 00:01:47,106
possibilities
to get them to leave.
35
00:01:47,173 --> 00:01:48,808
Namely: diplomacy.
36
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:49,742
Thankfully,
you're looking
37
00:01:49,809 --> 00:01:51,878
at the man who negotiated an end
38
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:54,848
to the Siege
of Fort Ticonderoga.
39
00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:57,383
You surrendered unconditionally
to the British.
40
00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:58,685
But we lived
to fight another day.
41
00:01:58,751 --> 00:02:00,587
You died of dysentery
two weeks later.
42
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:02,188
Did I?
43
00:02:02,255 --> 00:02:03,656
Thank you. Thank you.
44
00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:05,625
Point is: I'm good at talking.
45
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:08,394
Don't talk to enemy,
destroy them.
46
00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:11,264
Then toast their deaths
with horns full of mead!
47
00:02:11,331 --> 00:02:13,333
Okay, that boy has
some serious anger issues.
48
00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:15,835
Why do we have to make
the Livings leave?
49
00:02:15,902 --> 00:02:18,137
It just seems
like such a bummer.
50
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:19,873
Because, they're planning
on turning my beloved
51
00:02:19,939 --> 00:02:22,842
Woodstone Mansion into a hotel,
that's why. We'll be overrun!
52
00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:26,179
Exactly! We can't let
these invaders take our land.
53
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:27,480
Do you hear it? At all?
54
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:28,681
Do you hear the words
that you're saying?
55
00:02:28,748 --> 00:02:30,216
You know, we don't have
56
00:02:30,283 --> 00:02:32,352
to talk her into leaving
or destroy anyone.
57
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:35,321
We could just befriend her and
ask her not to open the hotel.
58
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:38,625
So, no hotel, but the hot chick
stays? I like that plan.
59
00:02:38,691 --> 00:02:41,694
Yeah, could be useful to have
a Living that we can talk to.
60
00:02:41,761 --> 00:02:44,330
Ooh, I can get her
to look into the details
61
00:02:44,397 --> 00:02:46,566
surrounding my
mysterious death.
62
00:02:46,633 --> 00:02:48,835
Oh, please. You had
a heart attack.
63
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,703
Which was likely
brought on by poisoning.
64
00:02:48,902 --> 00:02:50,703
Okay.
65
00:02:50,770 --> 00:02:54,407
My death, like my life,
was spectacular. Had to be!
66
00:02:54,474 --> 00:02:57,343
No way I went out from something
boring like a busted ticker.
67
00:02:57,410 --> 00:02:58,745
It's nothing to be ashamed of.
68
00:02:58,811 --> 00:03:00,446
My doc was pretty worried
about my blood pressure.
69
00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:03,349
Luckily, didn't turn out
to be a problem.
70
00:03:03,416 --> 00:03:05,418
Oh, what happened?
71
00:03:05,485 --> 00:03:08,354
There's an arr...
we've been through this.
72
00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:12,926
Jay! Where were you?
73
00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:12,926
I was in the attic.
74
00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:15,562
Are you okay?
75
00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:15,562
Jay, they're back.
I woke up,
76
00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:17,897
and one was in
the bathroom...
77
00:03:15,628 --> 00:03:17,897
Whoa, whoa, okay, okay.
78
00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:20,266
These are just residual effects
from your accident.
79
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:21,734
What happened?
80
00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:21,734
I ran into the door
81
00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:23,703
when I tried to attack him
with a toilet brush.
82
00:03:23,770 --> 00:03:27,540
Um, is that like to ghosts what
wooden stakes are to vampires?
83
00:03:27,607 --> 00:03:28,942
It was the only thing handy!
84
00:03:29,008 --> 00:03:30,710
Please don't make fun of me.
I really saw one.
85
00:03:30,777 --> 00:03:34,314
Okay, okay. Um, have you seen
one since you hit your head?
86
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,249
No.
87
00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:38,851
Do you think somehow hitting my
head the second time cured me?
88
00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:40,687
I mean, if you haven't seen one
since you hit your head,
89
00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:42,555
you're probably out
of the woods.
90
00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:42,555
Oh, my God.
91
00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:44,958
They're back! They're here.
They're all behind you.
92
00:03:45,024 --> 00:03:46,960
Hello! Sorry
about before.
93
00:03:47,026 --> 00:03:48,962
I don't see anybody.
94
00:03:49,028 --> 00:03:51,531
I would like to formally
open negotiations to discuss
95
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:54,400
your withdrawal
from Woodstone Mansion.
96
00:03:51,598 --> 00:03:54,400
Hear, hear.
97
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:55,835
There's a hippie and a Viking.
98
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,270
Be gone!
99
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,270
Peace!
100
00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,671
And a guy dressed like Hamilton.
101
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:00,940
Hamilton? How do you
know about Hamilton?
102
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,675
One of them's not wearing
any pants.
103
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:06,312
Oh, yeah? You like that?
104
00:04:02,742 --> 00:04:06,312
Hi. Alberta.
105
00:04:06,379 --> 00:04:07,747
Can you help me find out
who murdered me?
106
00:04:07,814 --> 00:04:09,782
Hey, babe, remember
what the doctor said.
107
00:04:09,849 --> 00:04:12,385
You-you might experience
some visual disturbances.
108
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,454
:
I'm sorry.
109
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,389
Y-You're talking
about Alexander Hamilton?
110
00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:17,991
Did that little twerp
become famous?
111
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,593
Wait. Isn't that the guy
on the ten-dollar bill?
112
00:04:18,057 --> 00:04:20,593
The what?
113
00:04:20,660 --> 00:04:22,328
They seem really real.
114
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,830
Well, of course
we're real!
115
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We're right here.
116
00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:25,531
He's on paper currency?
117
00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:25,531
You're hearing us!
118
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,567
Okay, but what do you think
is more likely? Do you think
119
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,402
you're seeing ghosts,
or do you think
120
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:31,437
you're suffering symptoms
of a severe concussion?
121
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:33,640
Obviously.
122
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:33,640
Yeah.
123
00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:33,640
Ghosts.
124
00:04:33,706 --> 00:04:35,008
Concussion.
125
00:04:35,074 --> 00:04:36,342
No!
126
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,378
They're all in your head.
127
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:40,613
You just ignore them,
and they'll go away.
128
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,615
Ignore us?
129
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,615
Well, that's rude.
130
00:04:42,682 --> 00:04:44,317
You go get some rest
131
00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:46,653
because your man is
taking care of business.
132
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:48,588
Mm... Oh.
133
00:04:46,719 --> 00:04:48,588
Do you know how that works?
134
00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:49,822
No. No, I do not.
135
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,724
But the Internet does.
136
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,724
The Internet?
137
00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,860
It's an invention for looking
up stock prices and porn.
138
00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:56,062
I'm gonna let the contractors
handle the big things.
139
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,930
But you know what? Papa Bear's
gonna save some money
140
00:04:57,997 --> 00:04:59,632
where I can,
because we're not all
141
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:01,501
Mr. Moneybags here, am I right?
142
00:05:01,567 --> 00:05:03,403
From where
143
00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:05,772
did you find this awful painting
of my philandering husband?
144
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:07,774
Oh, yeah, Elias. I remember
when he sat for that painting.
145
00:05:05,838 --> 00:05:07,774
Mm.
146
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,742
And then when he slept
with the artist.
147
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,742
Yeah.
148
00:05:09,809 --> 00:05:12,612
Okay, I guess
I'll just go lie down.
149
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:14,080
You're gonna be better
in no time.
150
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:15,882
The bones have spoken,
151
00:05:15,948 --> 00:05:18,317
and they foresee
your doom!
152
00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:20,420
Right. Thanks.
153
00:05:29,562 --> 00:05:31,931
What are you doing
in my room?
154
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,435
Oh, yeah, this is gonna
make a dope man cave.
155
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:35,435
What?
156
00:05:35,501 --> 00:05:38,938
A cave of men?
What does that even mean?
157
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,744
Oh, no.
158
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,112
What are... what are you...
what are you doing?
159
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,347
Oh, hey, Hetty. This is fun.
160
00:05:48,414 --> 00:05:50,483
This is not fun.
161
00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:53,119
This horrible man has destroyed
the sanctity of our rooms.
162
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,555
Oh, it's like we're roommates.
163
00:05:55,621 --> 00:05:58,524
You got this.
164
00:05:58,591 --> 00:06:00,026
Oh.
165
00:05:58,591 --> 00:06:00,026
Oh!
166
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:03,730
Crap.
167
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:03,730
Are you mad?
168
00:06:03,796 --> 00:06:05,665
You've made it even bigger!
169
00:06:05,732 --> 00:06:07,100
No, no, no, don't walk away!
170
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:09,669
Yay!
171
00:06:09,736 --> 00:06:11,671
Hey, who's your favorite
boy ghost?
172
00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:13,439
I'd say Thor,
but he really scares me,
173
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:14,707
but I kind of like that.
174
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:16,642
You know what?
No. No, no, no, no.
175
00:06:16,709 --> 00:06:18,077
No, no, no.
176
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:20,379
This Jay fellow has
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00:06:20,446 --> 00:06:21,981
ruined our ability
to communicate
178
00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:25,017
with Samantha by convincing her
that we are not real!
179
00:06:25,084 --> 00:06:27,153
Which is a serious setback.
180
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,856
In the face of which,
a lesser leader
181
00:06:29,922 --> 00:06:31,424
might give up.
182
00:06:31,491 --> 00:06:33,793
Like, for instance--
oh, I don't know--
183
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:35,128
Hamilton.
184
00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:37,597
Dude is obsessed.
185
00:06:35,194 --> 00:06:37,597
Mm.
186
00:06:37,663 --> 00:06:41,134
He was a terrible commander.
He was all about himself!
187
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,036
Whereas I-- I was known
for making men under me happy.
188
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:45,538
How are we supposed
to befriend Sam,
189
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,774
or "drive her from the land,"
190
00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,509
yeah, yeah,
if she's just ignoring us?
191
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,944
Enemy's not supposed to ignore.
It hurts feelings.
192
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:53,679
We don't let her ignore us.
193
00:06:53,746 --> 00:06:55,414
We do the same thing
I did in '98
194
00:06:55,481 --> 00:06:57,416
when Lizzie Grubman told me
the list was closed
195
00:06:57,483 --> 00:07:00,119
for Diddy's White Party.
We keep bugging her!
196
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:01,854
What kind of party?
197
00:07:00,186 --> 00:07:01,854
What is "Diddy"?
198
00:07:01,921 --> 00:07:03,122
It's a jaunty little song.
199
00:07:03,189 --> 00:07:04,557
The references
are not important!
200
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,459
The point is,
we don't give up.
201
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,628
We keep bugging her.
Now is when we double down!
202
00:07:08,694 --> 00:07:10,897
So simple, yet so brilliant.
203
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:13,666
Thank you.
204
00:07:10,963 --> 00:07:13,666
We don't allow her to ignore us.
205
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:14,667
Yes.
206
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:15,902
Yes, we will pester her
207
00:07:15,968 --> 00:07:17,737
in the kitchen.
208
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:19,839
And we will annoy her
in the living room.
209
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,140
Yeah!
210
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:21,140
My idea.
211
00:07:21,207 --> 00:07:22,875
We will make her life
a living hell
212
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:26,479
so she has no choice
but to finally acknowledge us!
213
00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:27,814
Yes!
214
00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:29,448
And then we drive them
from this land!
215
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,717
Yes!
216
00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,717
Or have a nice, friendly chat!
217
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:32,985
That one. You do that one.
218
00:07:33,052 --> 00:07:34,654
She will rue the day!
219
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:36,923
Chop their legs off,
hang them from trees!
220
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,991
Roll it back. It's too much!
221
00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,991
You're making it weird.
222
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:46,532
Hi there!
223
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,568
Hello?
224
00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:49,836
All right, I know
you're actively ignoring us,
225
00:07:49,902 --> 00:07:51,170
but that's okay.
226
00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:52,872
I was married for 16 years,
so I get it.
227
00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:56,776
Ah. Oh, you looked at me.
228
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,878
She looked at me!
Ooh, it's working.
229
00:07:59,879 --> 00:08:03,182
Aah! Death to our enemies!
230
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,688
Is it getting any better?
231
00:08:08,754 --> 00:08:09,922
Um...
232
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,657
Now who would want me dead?
233
00:08:11,724 --> 00:08:13,926
I was a beloved
jazz singer.
234
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,829
Not really.
235
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,829
: I'm sorry, sweetie.
236
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:18,831
I'm sure it'll be
better tomorrow.
237
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,567
Okay, there was
one person.
238
00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:23,636
She thought I was having
an affair with her husband.
239
00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:25,004
I was sleeping with him,
240
00:08:25,071 --> 00:08:26,606
but she didn't know that,
so in a way,
241
00:08:26,672 --> 00:08:28,808
I kind of wasn't
as far as she knew.
242
00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:31,077
So then the bear raised his arms
to attack me,
243
00:08:31,143 --> 00:08:32,245
but the shrooms were kicking in,
244
00:08:32,311 --> 00:08:33,746
and I thought
he just wanted a hug.
245
00:08:33,813 --> 00:08:35,147
You know, how everyone talks
about bear hugs?
246
00:08:35,214 --> 00:08:36,849
They're not talking
about hugs from actual bears.
247
00:08:36,916 --> 00:08:40,152
Can you please stop talking?
I'm trying to sleep.
248
00:08:40,219 --> 00:08:42,288
Oh, yeah. No, totally.
Yeah, no, I'm so tired, too.
249
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,056
Why do we sleep?
250
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:47,059
I don't know.
251
00:08:44,123 --> 00:08:47,059
When I was at Woodstock,
252
00:08:47,126 --> 00:08:49,562
I didn't sleep at all, 'cause
I didn't want to miss anything,
253
00:08:49,629 --> 00:08:50,863
especially the Grateful Dead.
254
00:08:50,930 --> 00:08:52,965
I was a huge "Deadhead,"
which was ironic,
255
00:08:53,032 --> 00:08:54,233
because I wasn't
even dead at the time.
256
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:56,702
I don't care.
257
00:09:01,173 --> 00:09:03,276
Look, I get it.
258
00:09:03,342 --> 00:09:06,545
Who wants to think they're
seeing ghosts? It's scary.
259
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:09,315
You know what's scarier?
Eternity.
260
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,984
So, I find ways to break it up,
create some drama.
261
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:13,986
Like yesterday,
I told Alberta
262
00:09:14,053 --> 00:09:16,789
that Hetty said
she didn't like her hat.
263
00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:18,624
Now, did Hetty
really say that?
264
00:09:18,691 --> 00:09:22,028
Well, I will take that answer to
my grave, which will never come.
265
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:24,130
Which is why I have
to do this kind of stuff.
266
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,201
Oh, hi there. I'm Steve.
267
00:09:29,268 --> 00:09:31,938
Unbelievable.
Jay, there's another one!
268
00:09:32,004 --> 00:09:33,773
He's a big guy
with a greasy beard.
269
00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:35,141
Hey.
270
00:09:33,839 --> 00:09:35,141
Hey, babe.
271
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:36,609
Have you met Steve?
272
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:39,211
Here you go.
273
00:09:36,676 --> 00:09:39,211
Wait. You can see him?
274
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,780
W-What's happening?
275
00:09:40,846 --> 00:09:42,682
Sam, Steve! He's here
to help us with the cable.
276
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:45,584
Who is this man?
Another invader?
277
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:47,653
Oh, my God.
I'm so sorry, Steve.
278
00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,922
I haven't been sleeping well.
It's great to meet you.
279
00:09:49,989 --> 00:09:51,991
Um, that should about do it.
I went ahead
280
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:53,893
and gave you three months
of the sports package.
281
00:09:52,058 --> 00:09:53,893
Cool.
282
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,928
He too shall
feel our wrath.
283
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:56,929
Shut up,
284
00:09:56,996 --> 00:09:58,698
uh...
285
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:01,300
♪ About that sports
package, Steve. ♪
286
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:02,935
What a deal!
287
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,171
Yeah. R-Right?
288
00:10:05,237 --> 00:10:07,239
I'm-I'm...
I'm gonna test her out.
289
00:10:10,676 --> 00:10:11,711
The Vikings were known
290
00:10:11,777 --> 00:10:13,045
for their prowess
on the battlefield,
291
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,947
often overpowering...
292
00:10:15,014 --> 00:10:18,651
What is this...
magical window?
293
00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:19,652
Hello!
294
00:10:19,719 --> 00:10:22,021
Oh, okay. Well, I'm down
for a stroll.
295
00:10:22,088 --> 00:10:24,357
Where we headed?
On behalf of my fellow ghosts,
296
00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:26,092
I'd just like to
welcome you to...
297
00:10:24,423 --> 00:10:26,092
You're not real.
298
00:10:26,158 --> 00:10:27,893
I mean, I'm not technically
alive, but I am real.
299
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:28,995
No, you're not.
300
00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:30,396
You're answering me.
301
00:10:29,061 --> 00:10:30,396
No, I'm not.
302
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:31,931
Okay, I thought
of a couple other people
303
00:10:31,998 --> 00:10:33,332
who may have wanted me dead.
304
00:10:33,399 --> 00:10:34,867
Any chance you could
hop the train down to Memphis
305
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,402
and knock on some doors?
306
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:36,402
Hey, am I crazy,
307
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,738
or is there chemistry here?
308
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:38,738
This isn't happening!
309
00:10:38,804 --> 00:10:41,307
I know.
I didn't expect this, either.
310
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,210
Okay, so this machine
truly has access
311
00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:45,911
to the entire breadth
of human knowledge?
312
00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:47,780
Yeah, pretty much.
313
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:50,149
Okay, I need you to look up
"Alexander Hamilton" on this.
314
00:10:52,451 --> 00:10:54,720
Do you know how long
it would take me
315
00:10:54,787 --> 00:10:56,188
to type all those letters?
316
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,157
I must know
what he went on to do.
317
00:10:58,224 --> 00:11:01,160
He haunts me,
and I'm a damn ghost.
318
00:11:01,227 --> 00:11:04,230
Okay, buddy, stand back.
319
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:06,365
Let me work my magic.
320
00:11:10,870 --> 00:11:12,838
My God, the pageantry.
321
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:14,707
Do you want this, or not?
322
00:11:12,905 --> 00:11:14,707
Yes. No, I do.
323
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,776
Shh!
324
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,776
I... I like it.
325
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:20,046
Ah...
326
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:20,046
Come on! Come on!
327
00:11:20,112 --> 00:11:21,680
You've got it!
You've got it!
328
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:23,382
Ah...
329
00:11:21,747 --> 00:11:23,382
And...
330
00:11:28,754 --> 00:11:30,689
Ah!
331
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:35,261
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
332
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:37,696
Oh, amazing. Okay, next
letter. Next letter!
333
00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:37,696
Oh...
334
00:11:37,763 --> 00:11:40,733
Mmm. Thor can smell
the salty brine.
335
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,334
There's my toolbox.
336
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:42,334
The preparation for the cod hunt
337
00:11:42,401 --> 00:11:43,803
was a ritual of great importance
338
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,137
in Viking society.
339
00:11:43,869 --> 00:11:45,137
Look at you.
340
00:11:45,204 --> 00:11:48,774
Come on! Electricity!
341
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:51,410
Oh, by the loins of Freya, why?
342
00:11:51,477 --> 00:11:53,245
Small man?!
343
00:11:57,416 --> 00:11:59,819
Well, if it isn't
"Mr. Fix It."
344
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,121
Why has he got a hammer?
345
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,121
Who knows?
346
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,156
Okay.
347
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,156
Oh, no, no.
348
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,258
Oh, no. Oh, you fool!
349
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:07,393
Is he crazy, man?
350
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:07,393
What are you doing?
351
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,161
Stop it! Just stop it!
352
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:11,730
God, I know we're dead,
but he's trying to kill us.
353
00:12:12,531 --> 00:12:14,967
"Psychotic breaks."
354
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:17,169
Okay, that's me.
355
00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:17,169
A moment of your time.
356
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,205
That's also me.
357
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:19,205
You must repair my wall.
358
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:20,906
I cannot spend another night
listening
359
00:12:20,973 --> 00:12:22,741
to that bohemian blather away.
I won't do it!
360
00:12:22,808 --> 00:12:24,243
Bring back my people
to the thing--
361
00:12:24,310 --> 00:12:25,911
the sorcerer's window!
362
00:12:25,978 --> 00:12:27,480
You are a strong, sane woman.
363
00:12:27,546 --> 00:12:29,348
You are a strong,
sane woman!
364
00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,150
Hey, big head.
365
00:12:32,318 --> 00:12:34,186
I don't want you anyway.
366
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,189
See? Say something negative,
get 'em off balance.
367
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,925
Oh, I don't know why
I didn't start with this.
368
00:12:37,256 --> 00:12:39,925
"Depression,
369
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,427
difficulty concentrating..."
370
00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:43,095
Babe, can you please
bring me my screwdriver?
371
00:12:43,162 --> 00:12:44,463
Sure thing.
372
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,966
She moves!
373
00:12:44,530 --> 00:12:46,966
Do not walk away from me!
374
00:12:47,032 --> 00:12:50,302
She can't move too fast with
those slightly-too-large ankles!
375
00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,171
This is genius.
376
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,206
You cannot escape us!
377
00:12:52,238 --> 00:12:54,206
Oh!
378
00:12:54,273 --> 00:12:56,342
No way I'm going
down there.
379
00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:58,911
No, no, they...
they are terrifying.
380
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:01,847
Jay, I think there's something
very wrong... Oh, my God!
381
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:03,382
What?
382
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:03,382
What do you mean, "what?"
383
00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,483
There's a bunch
of zombies down here.
384
00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,986
Zombies?
Zombies aren't real.
385
00:13:07,052 --> 00:13:08,888
We are ghosts.
We all died of cholera.
386
00:13:08,954 --> 00:13:10,823
It wasn't great.
387
00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:14,126
Babe, I think you really
just need some more rest.
388
00:13:14,193 --> 00:13:17,930
We are way past rest. We need
to go to a hospital now.
389
00:13:17,997 --> 00:13:19,532
Okay. Well, I'll drive you.
390
00:13:19,598 --> 00:13:20,799
Red valve. Tell him...
391
00:13:23,435 --> 00:13:24,403
Please turn the red valve!
392
00:13:24,470 --> 00:13:25,871
Can you turn the red valve?
393
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:27,840
What?
394
00:13:25,938 --> 00:13:27,840
Can you just turn the red valve?
395
00:13:27,907 --> 00:13:30,876
It-it's kind of urgent,
if you like the house.
396
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:34,213
Yes.
397
00:13:32,344 --> 00:13:34,213
There you go!
398
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,248
How did you know
about the red...?
399
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:38,450
Can we get the hell out
of here, please?
400
00:13:39,451 --> 00:13:41,820
Okay.
401
00:13:39,451 --> 00:13:41,820
No. Wait. Don't do that.
402
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,522
Oh, come on...
403
00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,522
Oh. Nuts.
404
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,429
I'm just saying, it's been
three days, and I'm not feeling
405
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,831
any better, so I'm starting
to freak out.
406
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,967
Well, I have to be honest.
407
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:56,602
I don't think this
will get better.
408
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,905
What?
409
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:59,905
It seems as if your
accident left you so close
410
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:02,107
to death, that you somehow
obtained the ability
411
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,143
to actually see
dead people.
412
00:14:04,210 --> 00:14:05,477
That can't be possible...
413
00:14:05,544 --> 00:14:07,580
It is quite rare,
but I've seen it before.
414
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:10,316
The last time was
around 85 years ago.
415
00:14:10,382 --> 00:14:12,084
Wait. How-how old are you?
416
00:14:12,151 --> 00:14:14,920
Well, I was about 50
when I died.
417
00:14:14,987 --> 00:14:17,022
Now, sorry about that.
418
00:14:17,089 --> 00:14:19,291
I'll let you visit
with your living doctor.
419
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:21,126
What seems to be
troubling you?
420
00:14:21,193 --> 00:14:23,229
She's excellent, by the way.
421
00:14:27,967 --> 00:14:29,902
This is amazing.
422
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:31,370
The plan's working!
423
00:14:31,437 --> 00:14:33,539
Working? Thor,
she ran off screaming.
424
00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,974
We've driven her insane.
425
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:37,076
Oh, what does it matter?
Nothing matters.
426
00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:39,044
What's up
with soldier boy?
427
00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:39,044
Isaac had me look up
428
00:14:39,111 --> 00:14:41,380
"Alexander Hamilton"
on Jay's computer.
429
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:42,982
His list of accomplishments
was even grander
430
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:44,416
than I could have imagined.
431
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,518
And then we looked up Isaac.
432
00:14:46,585 --> 00:14:51,290
"...graduated Dartmouth,
died of dysentery."
433
00:14:51,357 --> 00:14:54,526
That's it?
That's all it says?!
434
00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:58,464
I was mentioned in but one
academic journal, in a footnote.
435
00:14:58,530 --> 00:15:01,066
I'm literally a footnote
in history!
436
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:02,301
Well, Dartmouth is very good.
437
00:15:02,368 --> 00:15:03,369
:
Safety school.
438
00:15:03,435 --> 00:15:05,371
My life meant nothing.
439
00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:07,673
Whereas my rival is known
to this day.
440
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:10,042
There was even a musical
about him!
441
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:12,077
You're really fixated
on that musical thing.
442
00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:13,946
Well, this might come
as a shock to you,
443
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:16,615
Mm.
444
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:16,615
since you see me
as this tough military type...
445
00:15:16,682 --> 00:15:19,551
...but musical theater
is actually a passion of mine.
446
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:21,120
Hmm.
447
00:15:22,321 --> 00:15:24,290
I'm just saying, maybe we
should have just stuck around
448
00:15:24,356 --> 00:15:26,091
for a little while,
heard her out.
449
00:15:26,158 --> 00:15:27,426
Maybe done the MRI?
450
00:15:27,493 --> 00:15:28,594
There's no point.
451
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,162
They're not gonna
find anything,
452
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:32,064
because I now know
there's nothing wrong with me!
453
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,666
Okay, but the
doctor said...
454
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:35,301
That was the living doctor!
455
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:36,935
Of course she thinks
I'm delusional.
456
00:15:37,002 --> 00:15:38,504
She's not trained for this.
But the ghost doctor...
457
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:40,472
Okay, that's where
you start to lose me.
458
00:15:40,539 --> 00:15:41,974
If the ghosts were
all in my head,
459
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:43,342
I'd be seeing the same ones
at the hospital
460
00:15:43,409 --> 00:15:45,010
as I do back at the house,
but they're not.
461
00:15:45,077 --> 00:15:46,578
I see different ones
in different places.
462
00:15:46,645 --> 00:15:48,447
Like that guy. Hey, bud.
463
00:15:51,016 --> 00:15:52,451
What guy?
464
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:56,021
I know it's not great news,
but at least I'm not crazy.
465
00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,025
No, no, Jay,
look out!
466
00:16:01,593 --> 00:16:04,296
Phew. They were already dead.
467
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,098
Sorry.
468
00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,098
What?!
469
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:08,634
Just drive.
470
00:16:06,165 --> 00:16:08,634
I can't. I can't. I-I...
471
00:16:14,340 --> 00:16:18,110
Listen, I know this is
a lot, but I'm with you.
472
00:16:18,177 --> 00:16:21,013
No matter what, in
sickness and in health.
473
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:23,716
Okay? Because I love you.
474
00:16:23,782 --> 00:16:25,718
Aw. He's a keeper.
475
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:28,554
Hold that thought.
476
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:28,554
What was that?
477
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,289
Sam?!
478
00:16:28,620 --> 00:16:30,289
Sam?
479
00:16:30,356 --> 00:16:31,690
Sam?
480
00:16:31,757 --> 00:16:33,992
Hold on. Hold up, Sam!
481
00:16:34,793 --> 00:16:37,029
Sam, was there one in the car?
482
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:39,131
Sam, was there one
in the car?
483
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:41,633
She's coming.
Here she comes!
484
00:16:41,700 --> 00:16:43,035
Ooh!
485
00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:44,403
Okay, fine.
I see all of you,
486
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:46,305
I admit your existence. Happy?
487
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:48,707
Well, I mean, what is happy?
488
00:16:46,372 --> 00:16:48,707
It's a good step, babe.
489
00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:51,643
Great. But this
is our house now.
490
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:54,213
We inherited it, so, it is
time for you all to leave.
491
00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,048
It has been nice
to meet you, thank you,
492
00:16:56,115 --> 00:16:57,683
but you can go haunt
someone else now.
493
00:17:02,221 --> 00:17:04,089
She's funny, too.
That's great.
494
00:17:04,156 --> 00:17:05,124
Girl,
495
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:06,558
we can't leave.
496
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:08,026
Yeah, you just sort of stay
where you die.
497
00:17:08,093 --> 00:17:09,328
And how you die.
498
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:11,063
It's your classic
haunted house.
499
00:17:11,130 --> 00:17:13,065
So, it seems
it's the two of you
500
00:17:13,132 --> 00:17:14,800
who should leave,
thank you kindly.
501
00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:16,502
Well, that's not happening.
502
00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:18,036
We've already sunk all
our money into this place.
503
00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:19,705
Plus, I see dead people
wherever I go,
504
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,540
so leaving doesn't even help me.
505
00:17:21,607 --> 00:17:23,041
Okay, I'm back
to freaked out again.
506
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:24,376
Babe, just a second.
507
00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:25,778
It seems like we're stuck
with each other.
508
00:17:25,844 --> 00:17:27,613
But it is not going to go on
like this,
509
00:17:27,679 --> 00:17:29,348
with all of you up in my face
all of the time.
510
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:31,717
So, what is it going to take
for you to leave me alone?
511
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:34,720
Huh? What do you want?
512
00:17:34,787 --> 00:17:37,189
You! Viking guy,
what do you want?
513
00:17:37,256 --> 00:17:41,527
I want to see my people
in the magic box once a day!
514
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:44,563
What?
515
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:44,563
He wants to watch a show
about Vikings on TV.
516
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,365
Fine.
517
00:17:44,630 --> 00:17:46,365
Yes!
518
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:48,567
You, Wolf of Wall Street,
what do you want?
519
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:51,336
Leave him, kill yourself,
become a ghost and get with me.
520
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,238
But let's keep it casual.
521
00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:54,773
Gross. You.
522
00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:54,773
What'd he say?
523
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,708
I heard you mention
you were a writer.
524
00:17:56,775 --> 00:17:58,744
I'd like you
to pen my biography, so that
525
00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,312
history may know my name.
526
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:01,847
Now that is actually
quite interesting.
527
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,316
And then take that book,
and adapt it
528
00:18:04,383 --> 00:18:05,751
into an award-winning
Broadway musical.
529
00:18:05,818 --> 00:18:07,719
I want you to invite
the descendants
530
00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:10,122
of the ten most likely suspects
of my murder to a dinner party.
531
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:13,158
Find out who did it,
and exact revenge.
532
00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,660
No.
533
00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:16,762
Uh, you, Woodstock--
what do you want?
534
00:18:14,726 --> 00:18:16,762
Woodstock?
535
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,697
Uh, I'm easy.
Just world peace.
536
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:20,432
And an end
to bear attacks?
537
00:18:20,499 --> 00:18:22,668
Sure. You? Downton Abbey?
538
00:18:22,734 --> 00:18:24,703
Take down that painting
of my awful husband,
539
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:27,539
and patch up the hole your
awful husband put in my wall.
540
00:18:27,606 --> 00:18:29,107
He's not awful when
you get to know him.
541
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:30,709
Wait a minute.
542
00:18:29,174 --> 00:18:30,709
You, next.
543
00:18:30,776 --> 00:18:33,846
I'd like the entire Hudson
Valley returned to the Lenape.
544
00:18:33,912 --> 00:18:35,614
Barring that, maybe keep
the radio on in the afternoons?
545
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:36,849
Mm, excellent idea.
546
00:18:35,681 --> 00:18:36,849
That's a good one.
547
00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:38,684
We could use
some beats in here.
548
00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:38,684
Yes!
549
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,352
Oh, I'd love to dance.
550
00:18:38,750 --> 00:18:40,352
Play my album, Bonsoir.
551
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,421
That would be fun.
552
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,421
Okay, so that is everybody.
553
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:46,125
Oh, what about you?
554
00:18:46,191 --> 00:18:48,460
I just wanted to
say hi and welcome.
555
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,696
Hi.
556
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:50,696
Welcome!
557
00:18:50,762 --> 00:18:53,432
Wow. So, everybody feeling good?
558
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:55,601
I'm pretty far
from good.
559
00:18:55,667 --> 00:18:57,603
Ah, my husband still thinks
I'm nuts.
560
00:18:57,669 --> 00:19:00,639
You know what? Follow me.
561
00:19:06,278 --> 00:19:07,679
Okay, now
562
00:19:07,746 --> 00:19:09,915
ignite the flame, and
release the gas knob slowly.
563
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:11,550
Okay.
564
00:19:11,617 --> 00:19:13,452
Now hit it twice on
the side, right there.
565
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:15,320
Hit it?
566
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:15,320
Seriously.
567
00:19:19,458 --> 00:19:24,530
Okay, now turn the gas knob on,
and you'll hear a "whoomph."
568
00:19:25,531 --> 00:19:27,232
Nothing.
569
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:28,800
Actually, a little past "on."
The calibration's off.
570
00:19:28,867 --> 00:19:31,270
It's been wonky for
the last 40 years or so.
571
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:33,872
Whoa. Whoa.
572
00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:37,242
See? How else would
I know any of this?
573
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:43,181
Okay. Well, I guess
I believe you.
574
00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:47,486
And... thank you.
575
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:49,621
They say, "You're welcome."
576
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:51,356
"They"? There's two of them?
577
00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:53,725
Yup.
578
00:19:53,792 --> 00:19:56,595
Are we done here?
579
00:19:59,464 --> 00:20:00,465
Oh.
580
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,867
All taken care of?
581
00:20:00,532 --> 00:20:01,867
Yup.
582
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:04,303
Yup, covered the hole right up.
583
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:06,705
This is not the solution.
This is worse!
584
00:20:06,772 --> 00:20:09,841
I demand you remedy
this posthaste!
585
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:13,278
If you're here,
you're welcome.
586
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:14,580
Are you starting a new article?
587
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:14,580
Toying around
588
00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:16,782
with a book idea, actually.
589
00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:16,782
Ooh.
590
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:18,817
Mm-mm-mm. More writey-writey,
less talky-talky.
591
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,385
Now, where was I?
592
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,287
You were telling me
about your wife.
593
00:20:20,452 --> 00:20:22,287
Huh?
594
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:24,222
Oh, no. No, not you.
It's a... it's a ghost thing.
595
00:20:24,289 --> 00:20:26,258
All right. Well, uh, have fun.
596
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:27,893
Ah, yes, Beatrice.
597
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:30,529
She was a handsome woman.
598
00:20:30,596 --> 00:20:32,464
We slept in separate bedrooms,
599
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:34,933
to keep the flame
of our passion burning bright.
600
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,336
Now, let's talk
military service.
601
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,805
I was a beloved commander,
though I was known for
602
00:20:39,871 --> 00:20:40,872
riding my men hard.
603
00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:47,946
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