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1
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:36,203
See them tumbling down
2
00:00:36,286 --> 00:00:40,415
Pledging their love
to the ground
3
00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:43,126
Way out West
there was this fella.
4
00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:45,546
Fella I wanna tell you about.
5
00:00:45,629 --> 00:00:49,091
Fella by the name
of Jeff Lebowski.
6
00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:52,803
Least that was the handle that
his loving parents gave him.
7
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,931
But he never had
much use for it himself.
8
00:00:56,014 --> 00:01:00,060
This Lebowski,
he called himself the Dude.
9
00:01:00,143 --> 00:01:02,229
Now Dude,
10
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,983
that's a name no one would
self-apply where I come from.
11
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:11,446
But then there was a lot about the Dude that
didn't make a whole lot of sense to me,
12
00:01:11,530 --> 00:01:14,199
and a lot about
where he lived likewise.
13
00:01:14,283 --> 00:01:16,451
Drifting along with
the tumbling tumbleweeds
14
00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:18,120
But then again,
15
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:21,290
maybe that's why I found the
place so darned interesting.
16
00:01:21,373 --> 00:01:23,333
I know when night has gone
17
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,295
That a new world's
born at dawn
18
00:01:26,378 --> 00:01:30,424
They call Los
Angeles the City of Angels.
19
00:01:30,507 --> 00:01:33,552
I didn't find it to be that,
exactly.
20
00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:37,347
But I'll allow there are
some nice folks there.
21
00:01:37,431 --> 00:01:40,100
Course, I can't say
I seen London,
22
00:01:40,183 --> 00:01:42,436
and I never been to France,
23
00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:47,566
and I ain't never seen no queen in her
damned undies, as the fella says.
24
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:49,568
But I'll tell you what,
25
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:54,948
after seeing Los Angeles and this
here story I'm about to unfold,
26
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:57,868
well, I guess
I've seen something
27
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:02,122
every bit as stupefying as you can
see in any of those other places,
28
00:02:02,205 --> 00:02:04,374
and in English, too.
29
00:02:04,458 --> 00:02:07,377
So I can die with
a smile on my face
30
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:10,255
without feeling like
the good Lord gypped me.
31
00:02:11,256 --> 00:02:13,300
Now, this here story
I'm about to unfold
32
00:02:13,383 --> 00:02:16,386
took place back
in the early '90s,
33
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:21,308
just about the time of our conflict
with Saddam and the Iraqis.
34
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:24,978
I only mention it 'cause
sometimes there's a man...
35
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:27,105
I won't say a hero.
36
00:02:27,189 --> 00:02:29,232
'Cause what's a hero?
37
00:02:29,316 --> 00:02:31,652
But sometimes there's a man...
38
00:02:31,735 --> 00:02:34,738
And I'm talking about
the Dude here.
39
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,491
Sometimes there's a man...
40
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:42,162
Well, he's the man
for his time and place.
41
00:02:42,245 --> 00:02:44,998
He fits right in there.
42
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:48,460
And that's the Dude
in Los Angeles.
43
00:02:49,586 --> 00:02:52,172
And even if he is a lazy man,
44
00:02:52,255 --> 00:02:54,883
and the Dude was
most certainly that,
45
00:02:54,966 --> 00:02:58,720
quite possibly the laziest
in Los Angeles county,
46
00:02:58,804 --> 00:03:02,683
which would place him high in the
running for laziest worldwide.
47
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:06,728
But sometimes there's a man...
48
00:03:06,812 --> 00:03:09,606
Sometimes there's a man...
49
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:14,486
Well, I lost my train
of thought here.
50
00:03:14,569 --> 00:03:15,821
But...
51
00:03:16,571 --> 00:03:19,157
Hell, I done introduced him
enough.
52
00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:21,576
...with them all
for a collective action.
53
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:23,370
This will not stand.
54
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:26,957
This will not stand, this
aggression against Kuwait.
55
00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:33,338
Here on the range I belong
56
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:35,674
Drifting along
57
00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:38,885
With the tumbling
58
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:44,391
Tumbleweeds
59
00:03:57,654 --> 00:03:59,948
Where's the money,
Lebowski?
60
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:02,242
I want that money,
Lebowski.
61
00:04:02,325 --> 00:04:04,786
Bunny says you're
good for it.
62
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,581
Where's the money,
Lebowski?
63
00:04:07,664 --> 00:04:10,041
Where's the money,
Lebowski?
64
00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,669
Where's the fucking money,
shithead?
65
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:17,883
It's down there somewhere.
Let me take another look.
66
00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:20,552
Don't fuck with us.
67
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,806
Your wife owes money
to Jackie Treehorn,
68
00:04:24,890 --> 00:04:27,768
that means you owe money
to Jackie Treehorn.
69
00:04:27,851 --> 00:04:30,061
Ever thus to deadbeats,
Lebowski.
70
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:32,731
No, don't do...
71
00:04:34,524 --> 00:04:37,152
- Not on the rug, man.
- See?
72
00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:40,572
See what happens, Lebowski?
You see what happens?
73
00:04:40,655 --> 00:04:43,617
Nobody calls me Lebowski.
You got the wrong guy.
74
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:45,452
I'm the Dude, man.
75
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,288
Your name's Lebowski,
Lebowski.
76
00:04:48,371 --> 00:04:50,165
Your wife is Bunny.
77
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:53,418
My wife? Bunny?
78
00:04:53,502 --> 00:04:55,462
Do you see a wedding ring
on my finger?
79
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:57,839
Does this place look like
I'm fucking married?
80
00:04:57,923 --> 00:05:00,091
The toilet seat's up, man!
81
00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,018
What the fuck is this?
82
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:12,312
Obviously you're
not a golfer.
83
00:05:15,232 --> 00:05:17,025
Woo?
Yeah.
84
00:05:17,108 --> 00:05:19,778
Isn't this guy supposed
to be a millionaire?
85
00:05:21,238 --> 00:05:22,364
Fuck.
86
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,575
Yeah. What do you think?
87
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:27,953
He looks like
a fucking loser.
88
00:05:28,036 --> 00:05:30,789
Hey, at least I'm housebroken.
89
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:32,582
Fucking time-waster.
90
00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:34,543
Thanks a lot,
asshole.
91
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:44,427
La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-la
92
00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,848
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
93
00:05:47,931 --> 00:05:51,309
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia-Ia Ia-Ia
94
00:05:51,726 --> 00:05:53,478
La, Ia, Ia-Ia
95
00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,399
La-Ia-Ia
96
00:05:58,608 --> 00:06:00,652
La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia
97
00:06:00,735 --> 00:06:02,112
La-Ia, Ia-Ia
98
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:07,158
The man in me will do
99
00:06:08,285 --> 00:06:10,537
Nearly any task
100
00:06:11,663 --> 00:06:14,875
And as for compensation
101
00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:17,460
There's little he would ask
102
00:06:18,253 --> 00:06:20,839
Take a woman like you
103
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,133
To get through
104
00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,719
To the man in me
105
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:32,350
Storm clouds are raging
106
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:35,353
All around my door
107
00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,898
I think to myself
108
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:41,484
I might not take it anymore
109
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,196
Take a woman like your kind
110
00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:49,492
To find the man in me
111
00:06:52,329 --> 00:06:54,915
But, oh
112
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:57,459
What a wonderful feeling
113
00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:03,673
Just to know that you are near
114
00:07:06,509 --> 00:07:10,472
Sets my heart a-reeling
115
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:14,976
From my toes
116
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:19,272
Up to my ears
117
00:07:19,356 --> 00:07:22,567
The man in me will
hide sometimes
118
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:25,278
To keep from being seen
119
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:29,240
But that's just because
he doesn't want
120
00:07:29,324 --> 00:07:32,243
To turn into some machine
121
00:07:32,327 --> 00:07:34,746
Take a woman like you
122
00:07:35,497 --> 00:07:37,332
To get through
123
00:07:37,415 --> 00:07:39,292
To the man in me
124
00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,758
I'm throwing rocks tonight.
Mark it, Dude.
125
00:07:46,841 --> 00:07:51,346
I'm telling you, this
was a valued rug. This was a...
126
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,974
Yeah, man. It really
tied the room together.
127
00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:55,684
This was
a valued...
128
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,519
What tied the room together, Dude?
My rug.
129
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,104
Were you listening to the
Dude's story, Donny?
130
00:07:59,187 --> 00:08:00,271
What?
Walter.
131
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:03,066
Were you listening to the Dude's story?
I was bowling.
132
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:05,402
So you have no frame of
reference here, Donny.
133
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:08,279
You're like a child who wanders into the
middle of a movie and wants to know...
134
00:08:08,405 --> 00:08:11,825
Walter, what's the point, man? There's
no reason, here's my point, Dude.
135
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,535
There's no fucking reason
why these two...
136
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:14,786
Yeah, Walter,
what's your point?
137
00:08:14,869 --> 00:08:16,871
Walter, what is the...
138
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,374
Look, we all know
who is at fault here.
139
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:21,668
What the fuck are you
talking about? Huh?
140
00:08:21,751 --> 00:08:24,462
No, what the fuck
are you... I'm not...
141
00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:27,340
We're talking about unchecked
aggression here, Dude.
142
00:08:27,465 --> 00:08:29,092
What the fuck is he talking about?
My rug.
143
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,969
Forget it, Donny! You're
out of your element!
144
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,638
Walter, the Chinaman
who peed on my rug,
145
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,557
I can't go
give him a bill!
146
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,308
So what the fuck
are you talking about?
147
00:08:37,392 --> 00:08:38,518
What the fuck are
you talking about?
148
00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:40,729
The Chinaman is not
the issue here, Dude!
149
00:08:40,812 --> 00:08:43,398
I'm talking about drawing
a line in the sand, Dude.
150
00:08:43,481 --> 00:08:45,900
Across this line
you do not...
151
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:50,071
Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not
the preferred nomenclature.
152
00:08:50,155 --> 00:08:51,781
Asian-American,
please.
153
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:55,285
Walter, this isn't a guy who built
the railroads here. This is a guy...
154
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,995
What the fuck
are you...
155
00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,123
Walter, he peed on my rug!
He peed on the Dude's rug.
156
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,750
Donny, you're out
of your element.
157
00:09:01,833 --> 00:09:05,128
Dude, the Chinaman
is not the issue here.
158
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,630
So, who...
Jeff Lebowski.
159
00:09:07,714 --> 00:09:10,842
The other Jeffrey Lebowski.
The millionaire.
160
00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,678
That's fucking interesting, man.
That's fucking interesting.
161
00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:17,724
Plus, he has the wealth,
obviously, and the resources,
162
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,351
so that there's no reason,
there's no fucking reason
163
00:09:20,435 --> 00:09:23,146
why his wife should go out
and owe money all over town,
164
00:09:23,229 --> 00:09:25,690
and then they come and they
pee on your fucking rug!
165
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,025
Am I wrong?
No.
166
00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:28,651
Am I wrong?
Yeah, but...
167
00:09:28,735 --> 00:09:29,778
Okay then.
168
00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:34,616
That rug really tied the
room together, did it not?
169
00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:36,618
Fucking A.
And this guy peed on it.
170
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,036
Donny, please.
171
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,287
You know, this is
the fucking guy...
172
00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,664
I could find this
fucking Lebowski guy.
173
00:09:41,748 --> 00:09:44,084
His name is Lebowski?
That's your name, Dude.
174
00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:48,463
This is the guy who should
compensate me for the fucking rug.
175
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:52,175
His wife goes out and owes money all
over town, and they pee on my rug?
176
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:54,302
They pee on
your fucking rug?
177
00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:57,097
Peed on my fucking rug.
That's right, Dude.
178
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,850
They peed on
your fucking rug.
179
00:10:02,477 --> 00:10:04,145
This is the study.
180
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,815
As you can see, the various
commendations, awards...
181
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:10,819
"Jeffrey Lebowski." ...citations,
honorary degrees, et cetera.
182
00:10:10,902 --> 00:10:14,572
Very impressive. Oh, please
feel free to inspect them.
183
00:10:14,656 --> 00:10:17,283
Oh. No, I'm not really...
Oh, please. Please.
184
00:10:17,367 --> 00:10:19,285
That is the key to
the city of Pasadena,
185
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:24,749
which Mr. Lebowski received two years ago
in recognition of his various civic...
186
00:10:24,833 --> 00:10:29,504
Oh! That's the Los Angeles Chamber
of Commerce Business Achiever Award,
187
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,756
which is given... Oh, not
necessarily given every year.
188
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:32,924
Hey, is this...
189
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,259
Given only when there's
a worthy somebody...
190
00:10:34,342 --> 00:10:35,635
ls this him with Nancy?
191
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,972
Yes, indeed, that is Mr. Lebowski
with the first lady, yes.
192
00:10:39,055 --> 00:10:40,265
It was taken
when Mrs. Reagan...
193
00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,976
That's Lebowski
on the left there?
194
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,812
Of course. Mr. Lebowski, on the left...
So he's a...
195
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:48,481
You know, a handicapped
kind of guy?
196
00:10:48,565 --> 00:10:50,733
Mr. Lebowski is
disabled, yes.
197
00:10:51,401 --> 00:10:54,571
This picture was taken when Mrs.
Reagan was first lady of the nation.
198
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:55,738
Yes, yes.
199
00:10:55,822 --> 00:10:57,782
Not of California.
Good shot.
200
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,076
In fact, he met privately
with the President,
201
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,912
though, unfortunately, there wasn't
enough time for a photo opportunity.
202
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,956
Oh, Nancy's pretty good.
Oh, wonderful woman.
203
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:07,333
We were very happy to...
These are...
204
00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:10,086
Oh, those are Mr. Lebowski's
children, so to speak.
205
00:11:10,170 --> 00:11:11,421
Different mothers, huh?
206
00:11:11,546 --> 00:11:13,840
No, they're not... Racially,
he's pretty cool?
207
00:11:15,592 --> 00:11:17,385
They're not literally
his children.
208
00:11:17,468 --> 00:11:19,721
They're the Little Lebowski
Urban Achievers,
209
00:11:19,804 --> 00:11:22,849
inner city children of promise, but
without the necessary means for...
210
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:24,934
Necessary means for
a higher education,
211
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:28,438
so Mr. Lebowski is committed to
sending all of them to college.
212
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,856
Excuse me.
Oh, geez.
213
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,691
Thank you. Thank you.
214
00:11:31,816 --> 00:11:36,279
Far out. Think he's got room
for one more? One... Oh.
215
00:11:37,947 --> 00:11:39,157
You never went to college.
216
00:11:39,282 --> 00:11:41,326
Please, don't touch that. Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, I did,
217
00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:43,703
but, you know,
I spent most of my time
218
00:11:43,786 --> 00:11:46,915
occupying various
administration buildings,
219
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,708
smoking a lot
of Thai stick,
220
00:11:48,875 --> 00:11:52,045
breaking into
the ROTC and bowling.
221
00:11:52,128 --> 00:11:54,380
Tell you the truth, Brandt,
I don't remember most of it.
222
00:12:00,178 --> 00:12:03,348
Okay, sir. You're a
Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski.
223
00:12:03,431 --> 00:12:05,183
That's terrific.
224
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:08,144
But I am very busy,
as I imagine you are.
225
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,897
What can I do for you, sir?
226
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:14,525
Well, sir,
it's this rug I have.
227
00:12:14,609 --> 00:12:16,611
It really tied
the room together.
228
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:19,405
You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.
229
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:20,990
Where do I fit in?
230
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:24,911
Well, they were looking
for you, these two guys.
231
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:26,955
You know, they...
I'll say it again.
232
00:12:27,038 --> 00:12:30,166
You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.
233
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,293
I know what happened.
Yes, yes.
234
00:12:32,377 --> 00:12:35,588
Oh, so you know that they were
trying to piss on your rug.
235
00:12:35,672 --> 00:12:37,882
Did I urinate on your rug?
236
00:12:37,966 --> 00:12:40,218
You mean, did you personally
come and pee on my rug?
237
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,262
Hello! Do you speak
English, sir?
238
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:44,222
G, Parla usted inglés?
239
00:12:44,305 --> 00:12:47,183
I'll ask you again.
Did I urinate on your rug?
240
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:50,603
No. Like I said,
Woo peed on my rug.
241
00:12:50,687 --> 00:12:52,355
I just want to
understand this, sir.
242
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:56,359
Every time a rug is micturated
upon in this fair city,
243
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,194
I have to compensate
the person?
244
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:01,489
Come on, man. I'm not trying
to scam anybody here.
245
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,408
You know, I'm just...
246
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:07,036
You're just looking for
a handout like every other...
247
00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:10,665
Are you employed,
Mr. Lebowski?
248
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:14,085
Wait. Let me explain
something to you.
249
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:16,004
I am not Mr. Lebowski.
250
00:13:16,087 --> 00:13:19,048
You're Mr. Lebowski.
I'm the Dude.
251
00:13:19,132 --> 00:13:21,634
So that's what you call me.
You know?
252
00:13:21,718 --> 00:13:23,803
That or His Dudeness,
253
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:26,347
or Duder or, you know,
254
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:29,475
El Duderino, if you're not
into the whole brevity thing.
255
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:31,561
Are you employed, sir?
256
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:34,230
Employed?
257
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:40,153
You don't go out looking for a job
dressed like that, do you? On a weekday?
258
00:13:40,236 --> 00:13:41,612
Is this a...
259
00:13:41,696 --> 00:13:44,824
What day is this?
Well, I do work, sir.
260
00:13:44,907 --> 00:13:49,078
So, if you don't mind... No, I do mind.
The Dude minds.
261
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,913
This will not stand, you know.
262
00:13:50,997 --> 00:13:53,499
This aggression
will not stand, man.
263
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:55,335
I mean,
your wife owes money...
264
00:13:55,418 --> 00:13:58,379
My wife is not
the issue here!
265
00:13:58,463 --> 00:14:01,841
I hope that someday my wife will
learn to live on her allowance,
266
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,343
which is ample.
267
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:06,262
But if she does not, that
is her problem, not mine,
268
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:07,972
just as the rug
is your problem.
269
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:12,018
Just as every bum's lot in life
is his own responsibility,
270
00:14:12,101 --> 00:14:14,812
regardless of who
he chooses to blame.
271
00:14:14,896 --> 00:14:17,982
I didn't blame anyone
for the loss of my legs.
272
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,526
Some Chinaman took them
from me in Korea.
273
00:14:20,610 --> 00:14:23,029
But I went out
and achieved anyway.
274
00:14:24,322 --> 00:14:27,492
I cannot solve your problems, sir.
Only you can.
275
00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:32,038
Well, fuck it.
Oh, fuck it.
276
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:35,208
Yes, that's your answer. That's
your answer to everything.
277
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:37,043
Tattoo it on your forehead!
278
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:39,587
Your revolution is over,
Mr. Lebowski!
279
00:14:39,670 --> 00:14:42,924
Condolences! The bums lost!
280
00:14:43,007 --> 00:14:46,219
My advice to you is to do
what your parents did!
281
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:48,096
Get a job, sir!
282
00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:50,723
The bums will
always lose!
283
00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,558
Do you hear me,
Lebowski?
284
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,061
The bums will
always lose.
285
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:58,606
How was your meeting,
Mr. Lebowski?
286
00:14:58,689 --> 00:15:00,191
Okay»
287
00:15:00,274 --> 00:15:02,777
The old man told me to take
any rug in the house.
288
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:05,113
Well, enjoy.
289
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:07,740
And perhaps we'll see you
again sometime, Dude.
290
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:08,950
Yeah, sure.
291
00:15:09,033 --> 00:15:11,911
If I'm in the neighborhood,
you know,
292
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,581
and I need to use the john.
293
00:15:26,217 --> 00:15:28,386
Blow on them.
Huh?
294
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,721
Go ahead. Blow.
295
00:15:32,473 --> 00:15:35,852
You want me to blow
on your toes?
296
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:37,520
Uh-huh.
297
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:40,022
I can't blow that far.
298
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:48,281
Are you sure he won't mind?
299
00:15:48,364 --> 00:15:51,451
Uli doesn't care about anything.
He's a nihilist.
300
00:15:51,534 --> 00:15:53,786
Oh, that must be exhausting.
301
00:15:53,870 --> 00:15:55,621
You're not blowing.
302
00:15:55,705 --> 00:15:58,458
Our guest has to be getting along, Mrs.
Lebowski.
303
00:15:58,541 --> 00:15:59,959
Oh!
304
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:01,919
You're Bunny.
305
00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,381
I'll suck your cock
for $1,000.
306
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,721
Wonderful woman.
307
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:13,931
We're all very fond of her.
Very free-spirited.
308
00:16:14,015 --> 00:16:16,726
Brandt can't watch though,
or he has to pay $100.
309
00:16:18,227 --> 00:16:19,896
That's marvelous.
310
00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:24,901
I'm just gonna go
find a cash machine.
311
00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:31,574
I'm slamming them tonight!
312
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,951
You guys are dead
in the water.
313
00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,996
All right!
Way to go, Donny!
314
00:16:38,039 --> 00:16:40,416
"lf you
will it, it is no dream."
315
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,920
Fucking 20 minutes late, man.
What the fuck is that?
316
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,005
Theodore Herzl.
Huh?
317
00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:49,175
State of Israel. If you will
it, Dude, it is no dream.
318
00:16:49,258 --> 00:16:51,135
What the fuck are you
talking about, man?
319
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:54,096
The carrier. What's in the
fucking carrier? Huh?
320
00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:57,141
Oh! Cynthia's dog.
Think it's a Pomeranian.
321
00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,227
Can't leave him home alone
or he eats the furniture.
322
00:16:59,310 --> 00:17:02,063
I'm watching it while Cynthia and
Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.
323
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,065
You brought a fucking
Pomeranian bowling?
324
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:05,691
What do you mean,
brought it bowling?
325
00:17:05,775 --> 00:17:08,778
I didn't rent it shoes. I'm
not buying it a fucking beer.
326
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:10,947
He's not taking your
fucking turn, Dude.
327
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:14,367
Man, if my fucking ex-wife asked
me to take care of her fucking dog
328
00:17:14,450 --> 00:17:16,202
while she and her boyfriend
went to Honolulu,
329
00:17:16,285 --> 00:17:18,871
I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
Why can't she board it?
330
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,790
First of all, Dude,
you don't have an ex.
331
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:24,043
Secondly, this is a fucking
show dog with fucking papers.
332
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,837
You can't board it. It gets upset.
Its hair falls out.
333
00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:29,257
Walter... Fucking dog
has fucking papers.
334
00:17:29,340 --> 00:17:32,009
Over the line!
Huh?
335
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:34,428
I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line.
That's a foul.
336
00:17:34,512 --> 00:17:36,180
Bullshit. Mark it eight, Dude.
337
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:39,392
Excuse me. Mark it zero.
Next frame.
338
00:17:39,475 --> 00:17:42,395
Bullshit, Walter.
Mark it eight, Dude.
339
00:17:42,478 --> 00:17:45,064
Smokey, this is not Nam. This is bowling.
There are rules.
340
00:17:45,147 --> 00:17:47,900
Hey, Walter, come on.
Hey, man, it's Smokey.
341
00:17:47,984 --> 00:17:50,152
So his toe slipped over
a little, you know.
342
00:17:50,236 --> 00:17:52,405
It's just a game, man.
This is a league game.
343
00:17:52,488 --> 00:17:54,407
This determines who enters
the next round robin.
344
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,242
- Am I wrong?
- Yeah, but I wasn't...
345
00:17:56,325 --> 00:17:58,869
Am I wrong?
Yeah, but I wasn't over.
346
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:01,664
Give me the marker, Dude.
I'm marking an eight.
347
00:18:01,747 --> 00:18:03,499
Smokey, my friend,
348
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,295
you're entering a world of pain.
Walter, man.
349
00:18:07,378 --> 00:18:11,090
You mark that frame an eight,
you're entering a world of pain.
350
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:13,759
I'm not...
A world of pain.
351
00:18:13,843 --> 00:18:15,928
Look,Dude,
this is your partner.
352
00:18:16,012 --> 00:18:18,389
Has the whole world
gone crazy?
353
00:18:18,472 --> 00:18:21,225
Am I the only one around here who
gives a shit about the rules?
354
00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:22,560
Mark it zero!
355
00:18:22,643 --> 00:18:24,729
They're calling the
cops, man. Put the piece away.
356
00:18:24,854 --> 00:18:27,898
Mark it zero! DUDE: Walter,
put the piece away.
357
00:18:27,982 --> 00:18:30,192
Walter. You think I'm
fucking around here?
358
00:18:30,276 --> 00:18:31,902
Mark it zero!
359
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:40,953
All right. It's fucking zero.
360
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:43,122
You happy,
you crazy fuck?
361
00:18:45,499 --> 00:18:47,501
It's a league game,
Smokey.
362
00:18:49,211 --> 00:18:50,880
You can't do that, man.
363
00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:53,674
These guys, you know, they're
like me, they're pacifists.
364
00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,344
Smokey was a
conscientious objector.
365
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:59,263
You know, Dude, I myself dabbled
in pacifism at one point.
366
00:18:59,347 --> 00:19:00,640
Not in Nam, of course.
367
00:19:00,723 --> 00:19:04,185
And you know he's got
emotional problems, man.
368
00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:06,687
You mean, beyond pacifism?
369
00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,482
He's fragile.
He's very fragile.
370
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:14,070
I did not know that.
371
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,031
Well, it's all water
under the bridge.
372
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:20,117
And we do enter
the next round robin.
373
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:22,495
Am I wrong?
No, you're not wrong.
374
00:19:22,578 --> 00:19:24,330
Am I wrong?
You're not wrong, Walter.
375
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:25,790
You're just an asshole.
376
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:27,333
Okay then.
377
00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:29,043
Play Quintana and
O'Brien next week.
378
00:19:29,126 --> 00:19:31,045
They should be pushovers.
379
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:34,674
Man, would you just...
380
00:19:34,757 --> 00:19:36,509
Just take it easy, man.
381
00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,886
You know, that's your answer
for everything, Dude.
382
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,847
Let me point out something.
Pacifism is not...
383
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,767
Look at our current situation
with that camel fucker in Iraq.
384
00:19:44,850 --> 00:19:46,811
Pacifism is not something
to hide behind.
385
00:19:46,894 --> 00:19:49,271
Just take it easy, man.
386
00:19:50,398 --> 00:19:51,732
I'm perfectly calm, Dude.
387
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:55,277
Yeah, waving the fucking gun around?
Calmer than you are.
388
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,279
Will you just take it easy?
389
00:19:58,114 --> 00:19:59,907
Calmer than you are.
390
00:20:04,245 --> 00:20:05,871
Dude, this is Smokey.
391
00:20:05,955 --> 00:20:07,873
Look, I don't wanna be
a hard-on about this,
392
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,208
and I know
it wasn't your fault,
393
00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,876
but I just thought
it was fair to tell you
394
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,170
that Gilbert and I will be
submitting this to the league
395
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:15,464
and asking them
to set aside the round.
396
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,217
I don't know,
maybe forfeit it to us.
397
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:21,554
So, like I say, just thought,
you know, fair warning.
398
00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:23,097
Tell Walter.
399
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:24,432
I'm sorry.
400
00:20:26,308 --> 00:20:28,644
Mr. Lebowski,
this is Brandt at...
401
00:20:30,312 --> 00:20:32,189
Well, at Mr. Leb0wski's
office.
402
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:34,775
Please call us
as soon as it's convenient.
403
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:38,571
Mr. Lebowski,
this is Mel Zelnicker
404
00:20:38,654 --> 00:20:40,114
of the Southern Cal
Bowling League.
405
00:20:40,197 --> 00:20:45,453
I just got an informal report that a
member of your team, a Walter Sobchak,
406
00:20:45,536 --> 00:20:47,788
drew a firearm
during league play.
407
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,457
If this is true, of course,
408
00:20:49,540 --> 00:20:51,250
it contravenes a number of
the league's bylaws
409
00:20:51,333 --> 00:20:53,043
and also article 27
of the league...
410
00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:56,797
Dude.
Hey, Marty.
411
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,632
Dude, I finally got...
412
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:01,010
I got the venue I wanted.
413
00:21:01,552 --> 00:21:05,014
I'm performing my dance
quintet, you know, my cycle,
414
00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:07,850
at Crane Jackson's Fountain
Street Theater on Tuesday night.
415
00:21:07,933 --> 00:21:12,188
And, well, I'd love it if
you came and gave me notes.
416
00:21:13,022 --> 00:21:14,732
I'll be there, man.
417
00:21:17,026 --> 00:21:19,904
Dude, tomorrow's
already the tenth.
418
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:22,531
Far out.
419
00:21:25,159 --> 00:21:27,328
Oh. Oh, all right. Okay.
420
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:30,206
Just slip the rent
under my door.
421
00:21:33,125 --> 00:21:36,420
...serious
infraction and examine your standing.
422
00:21:36,504 --> 00:21:38,005
Thank you.
423
00:21:39,590 --> 00:21:42,218
Mr. Lebowski, Brandt again.
424
00:21:42,301 --> 00:21:45,721
Please do call us as soon as you
get in and I'll send the limo.
425
00:21:45,805 --> 00:21:49,391
I hope you're not avoiding
this call because of the rug,
426
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:52,144
which I assure you
is not a problem.
427
00:21:52,228 --> 00:21:54,855
We need your help, and...
428
00:21:54,939 --> 00:21:58,901
Well, we would very much like to see you.
Thank you. It's Brandt.
429
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,695
We've had some
terrible news.
430
00:22:01,779 --> 00:22:03,989
Mr. Lebowski's in seclusion
in the west wing.
431
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:09,954
Mr. Lebowski.
432
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:18,212
Funny.
433
00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:23,217
I can look back on
a life of achievement,
434
00:22:23,300 --> 00:22:25,511
challenges met,
435
00:22:25,594 --> 00:22:27,638
competitors bested,
436
00:22:27,721 --> 00:22:29,431
obstacles overcome.
437
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:34,395
I've accomplished
more than most men
438
00:22:34,478 --> 00:22:36,772
and without
the use of my legs.
439
00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:44,238
What makes a man,
Mr. Lebowski?
440
00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:46,949
Dude.
Huh?
441
00:22:48,993 --> 00:22:51,662
Oh, I don't know, sir.
442
00:22:51,745 --> 00:22:54,623
Is it being prepared
to do the right thing,
443
00:22:56,750 --> 00:22:58,419
whatever the cost?
444
00:22:59,253 --> 00:23:01,380
Isn't that what
makes a man?
445
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:05,009
Sure, that and
a pair of testicles.
446
00:23:05,593 --> 00:23:07,386
You're joking,
447
00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:11,265
but perhaps you're right.
448
00:23:11,348 --> 00:23:13,267
You mind if I do a Jay?
449
00:23:15,185 --> 00:23:16,353
Bunny.
450
00:23:18,439 --> 00:23:19,773
Excuse me?
451
00:23:20,107 --> 00:23:21,650
Bunny Lebowski.
452
00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:24,904
She is the light of my life.
453
00:23:26,488 --> 00:23:28,991
Are you surprised
at my tears, sir?
454
00:23:30,910 --> 00:23:32,786
Oh, fucking A.
455
00:23:32,870 --> 00:23:35,372
Strong men also cry.
456
00:23:37,041 --> 00:23:40,002
Strong men also cry.
457
00:23:43,047 --> 00:23:45,507
I received
this fax this morning.
458
00:23:48,469 --> 00:23:52,097
As you can see,
it is a ransom note.
459
00:23:53,057 --> 00:23:55,100
"We have Bunny."
460
00:23:55,184 --> 00:23:59,438
Written by men who were unable to
achieve on a level field of play.
461
00:23:59,521 --> 00:24:02,149
"Gather $1 million..."
462
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:05,653
Cowards! - - In unmarked,
nonconsecutive 20s-"
463
00:24:05,736 --> 00:24:08,447
VVeakHngs!
"A wait instructions."
464
00:24:08,572 --> 00:24:10,324
Bums!
"No funny stuff."
465
00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:13,577
Bummer.
Huh?
466
00:24:14,828 --> 00:24:18,540
This is a bummer, man.
That's... That's a bummer.
467
00:24:19,333 --> 00:24:22,044
Brandt will fill you in
on the details.
468
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:41,355
Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a
generous offer to you to act as courier
469
00:24:41,438 --> 00:24:43,983
once we get instructions
for the money.
470
00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:45,234
Why me, man?
471
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:50,823
He believes the culprits might be
the very people who soiled your rug
472
00:24:50,906 --> 00:24:55,828
and you are in a unique position to
confirm or disconfirm that suspicion.
473
00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,663
He thinks the carpet pissers
did this?
474
00:24:57,746 --> 00:24:59,665
Well, Dude,
we just don't know.
475
00:26:30,839 --> 00:26:34,009
Welcome to the
Hotel California
476
00:26:34,885 --> 00:26:36,804
Such a lovely place
477
00:26:36,887 --> 00:26:38,764
Fucking Quintana.
478
00:26:39,723 --> 00:26:42,059
That creep can roll, man.
479
00:26:42,184 --> 00:26:45,187
Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
Yeah.
480
00:26:46,146 --> 00:26:49,066
No, he's a sex offender
with a record.
481
00:26:49,149 --> 00:26:52,111
He did six months in Chino for
exposing himself to an eight-year-old.
482
00:26:53,612 --> 00:26:55,489
When he moved to Hollywood,
he had to go door-to-door
483
00:26:55,572 --> 00:26:57,366
to tell everyone
he was a pederast.
484
00:26:58,325 --> 00:27:01,829
What's a pederast, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
485
00:27:04,164 --> 00:27:06,750
So, how much
did he give you?
486
00:27:06,834 --> 00:27:10,087
20 grand, man. And, of course,
I still get to keep the rug.
487
00:27:10,212 --> 00:27:11,547
Just for making a hand-off?
Yeah.
488
00:27:11,630 --> 00:27:14,007
They gave Dude a beeper.
489
00:27:15,008 --> 00:27:17,803
So whenever these guys call...
What if it's during a game?
490
00:27:17,886 --> 00:27:20,514
Oh, I told them if it was
during league play...
491
00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:21,723
What's during
league play?
492
00:27:21,807 --> 00:27:24,268
Life does not stop and
start at your convenience,
493
00:27:24,351 --> 00:27:26,270
you miserable
piece of shit.
494
00:27:26,353 --> 00:27:28,313
Ifigure... What's wrong
with Walter, Dude?
495
00:27:28,397 --> 00:27:30,899
I figure it's easy money, you know.
It's all pretty harmless.
496
00:27:30,983 --> 00:27:32,818
She probably
kidnapped herself.
497
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:36,655
What do you mean, Dude?
Rug-peers did not do this.
498
00:27:36,738 --> 00:27:41,618
Look at it. A young trophy wife
marries this guy for his money.
499
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,538
She figures he isn't giving
her enough, you know.
500
00:27:44,621 --> 00:27:46,373
She owes money
all over town.
501
00:27:46,456 --> 00:27:48,625
That fucking bitch!
502
00:27:48,709 --> 00:27:50,502
It's all a goddamn
fake, man.
503
00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:52,504
It's like Lenin said,
504
00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:57,551
you look for the person who
will benefit and, you know...
505
00:27:57,634 --> 00:28:00,262
I Am the Walrus?
You know, you'll...
506
00:28:00,929 --> 00:28:02,931
You know what I'm trying to say.
I Am the VVa/rus.
507
00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:05,809
That fucking bitch!
Oh, yeah!
508
00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:07,311
I Am the Walrus.
Thafis...
509
00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:08,896
Shut the fuck up,
Donny!
510
00:28:08,979 --> 00:28:12,024
V.l. Lenin, Vladimir
llyich Ulyanov!
511
00:28:12,107 --> 00:28:13,275
What the fuck is
he talking about?
512
00:28:13,358 --> 00:28:15,194
Fucking exactly what
happened to those...
513
00:28:15,277 --> 00:28:16,820
That makes me
fucking sick!
514
00:28:16,945 --> 00:28:19,865
Well, what do you care, Walter?
Those rich fucks.
515
00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:21,909
This whole fucking thing.
516
00:28:21,992 --> 00:28:24,745
I did not watch my buddies
die face down in the muck
517
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:26,580
so that this
fucking strumpet,
518
00:28:26,663 --> 00:28:27,831
this fucking whore,
could waltz around...
519
00:28:27,915 --> 00:28:30,334
I don't see any connection
with Vietnam, man.
520
00:28:30,417 --> 00:28:32,044
Well, there isn't a
literal connection, Dude.
521
00:28:32,127 --> 00:28:34,046
No, Walter, face it,
there isn't any connection.
522
00:28:34,129 --> 00:28:35,589
Your roll.
Have it your way.
523
00:28:35,672 --> 00:28:37,007
Your roll.
But my point is...
524
00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:39,885
My point is... QUINTANA: Are
you ready to be fucked, man?
525
00:28:41,553 --> 00:28:44,348
I see you rolled your way
into the semis.
526
00:28:45,390 --> 00:28:47,726
Dios mio, man.
527
00:28:47,809 --> 00:28:50,646
Liam and me,
we're gonna fuck you up.
528
00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:56,944
Yeah? Well, you know, that's
just like your opinion, man.
529
00:28:58,153 --> 00:29:01,240
Let me tell you
something, pendejo.
530
00:29:01,323 --> 00:29:03,533
You pull any of your
crazy shit with us,
531
00:29:03,617 --> 00:29:06,411
you flash a piece out
on the lanes,
532
00:29:06,495 --> 00:29:09,414
I'll take it away from you
and stick it up your ass
533
00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:12,709
and pull the fucking trigger
till it goes click.
534
00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:15,921
Jesus.
535
00:29:16,004 --> 00:29:17,673
You said it, man.
536
00:29:17,756 --> 00:29:20,008
Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
537
00:29:26,306 --> 00:29:27,683
Eight-year-olds, Dude.
538
00:29:50,872 --> 00:29:54,042
La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-la
539
00:29:54,418 --> 00:29:56,545
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
540
00:29:56,628 --> 00:29:58,255
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
541
00:29:58,338 --> 00:30:00,841
La-Ia-Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia, Ia
542
00:30:01,174 --> 00:30:02,926
La-Ia, Ia-Ia
543
00:30:05,095 --> 00:30:06,722
La-Ia-Ia
544
00:30:07,973 --> 00:30:10,017
La-Ia-Ia, Ia-Ia-Ia
545
00:30:10,100 --> 00:30:11,476
La-Ia, Ia-Ia
546
00:30:14,438 --> 00:30:16,648
The man in me will do
547
00:30:17,733 --> 00:30:20,235
Nearly any task
548
00:30:21,069 --> 00:30:24,156
And as for compensation
549
00:30:24,239 --> 00:30:26,325
There's little he would ask
550
00:30:27,909 --> 00:30:30,495
Take a woman like you
551
00:30:31,288 --> 00:30:32,706
To get through
552
00:30:33,165 --> 00:30:35,250
To the man in me
553
00:30:38,295 --> 00:30:41,423
Storm clouds are raging
554
00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:44,468
All around my door
555
00:30:45,552 --> 00:30:47,429
I think to myself
556
00:30:47,512 --> 00:30:50,974
I might not take it anymore
557
00:30:51,767 --> 00:30:54,686
Take a woman like your kind
558
00:30:55,103 --> 00:30:59,149
To find the man in me
559
00:31:01,902 --> 00:31:03,612
But, oh
560
00:31:04,863 --> 00:31:06,782
What a wonderful feeling
561
00:31:09,409 --> 00:31:11,203
Just to know
562
00:31:11,286 --> 00:31:13,747
That you are near
563
00:31:16,708 --> 00:31:20,128
Sets my heart a-reeling
564
00:31:21,505 --> 00:31:24,383
From my toes
565
00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:27,969
Up to my ears
566
00:31:28,845 --> 00:31:32,099
The man in me
will hide sometimes
567
00:31:32,182 --> 00:31:33,683
They called
about 80 minutes ago.
568
00:31:33,767 --> 00:31:36,395
They want you to take the
money, drive north on the 405.
569
00:31:36,478 --> 00:31:37,813
They will call you
on the portable phone
570
00:31:37,896 --> 00:31:39,981
with instructions
in about 40 minutes.
571
00:31:40,065 --> 00:31:41,149
One person only.
572
00:31:41,233 --> 00:31:43,652
They were very clear on that, or
I'd go with you. One person only.
573
00:31:43,777 --> 00:31:46,780
Vvhathappened to your jaw?
Oh, nothing, man.
574
00:31:48,323 --> 00:31:49,950
Here's the money.
575
00:31:50,784 --> 00:31:52,411
And the phone.
576
00:31:52,494 --> 00:31:55,330
Please, Dude, follow whatever
instructions they give.
577
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:58,208
All right.
Her life is in your hands.
578
00:31:58,291 --> 00:31:59,918
Man, don't say that.
579
00:32:00,001 --> 00:32:02,587
Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat
that, her life is in your hands.
580
00:32:02,671 --> 00:32:04,005
Oh, shit, man.
581
00:32:04,089 --> 00:32:06,425
Her life is in
yourhands,Dude.
582
00:32:06,508 --> 00:32:09,177
Report back to us
as soon as it's done.
583
00:32:18,687 --> 00:32:22,941
Where the fuck are you going, man?
Take the ringer, I'll drive.
584
00:32:23,024 --> 00:32:25,235
The what?
The ringer.
585
00:32:25,318 --> 00:32:26,945
The ringer, Dude.
586
00:32:34,703 --> 00:32:36,663
What the...
Have they called yet?
587
00:32:36,746 --> 00:32:38,540
What the hell is this?
588
00:32:38,623 --> 00:32:41,501
My dirty undies, Dude.
The laundry. The whites.
589
00:32:41,585 --> 00:32:45,714
Walter, I'm sure there's a reason
you brought your dirty undies, man.
590
00:32:45,797 --> 00:32:47,090
That's right, Dude.
The weight.
591
00:32:47,174 --> 00:32:48,467
The ringer cannot look empty.
592
00:32:48,550 --> 00:32:50,635
Walter, what the fuck
are you thinking, man?
593
00:32:50,719 --> 00:32:52,637
You're right, Dude.
I got to thinking.
594
00:32:52,721 --> 00:32:55,557
I got to thinking, why should we settle
for a measly fucking 20 grand...
595
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:58,852
We? What the fuck, "we"? You said
you just wanted to come along.
596
00:32:58,935 --> 00:33:01,313
My point, Dude, is why should
we settle for 20 grand
597
00:33:01,396 --> 00:33:04,065
when we can keep the entire million?
Am I wrong?
598
00:33:04,149 --> 00:33:07,235
Yes, you're wrong. This
isn't a fucking game, man.
599
00:33:07,319 --> 00:33:09,654
Oh, but it is a game.
You said so yourself.
600
00:33:09,738 --> 00:33:11,948
She kidnapped herself.
I said I thought...
601
00:33:18,205 --> 00:33:20,248
Dude, here. MAN: Who is this?
602
00:33:21,666 --> 00:33:24,628
Dude. The bagman, man.
Where do you want us to go?
603
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:25,754
Us?
604
00:33:27,380 --> 00:33:28,465
Shit!
605
00:33:30,383 --> 00:33:33,011
Yeah, you know,
me and the driver.
606
00:33:33,094 --> 00:33:36,848
I'm not handling the money, driving the
car and talking on the phone all by my...
607
00:33:36,932 --> 00:33:38,183
Shut the fuck up!
608
00:33:38,266 --> 00:33:41,269
Dude, are you fucking this up?
Who is that?
609
00:33:42,604 --> 00:33:45,190
That is the driver.
I told you...
610
00:33:46,942 --> 00:33:48,860
Oh, shit!
What the fuck's going on?
611
00:33:48,944 --> 00:33:50,320
Walter...
What the fuck is going on?
612
00:33:50,403 --> 00:33:54,699
He hung up, man. You fucked it up.
You fucked it up!
613
00:33:54,824 --> 00:33:57,369
Her “fie was 'm our hands, man.
Easy, Dude.
614
00:33:57,452 --> 00:34:01,331
We're screwed now. We don't get shit.
They're gonna kill her.
615
00:34:01,414 --> 00:34:04,125
We're fucked, Walter.
Nothing is fucked, Dude.
616
00:34:04,209 --> 00:34:06,711
Come on.
You're being very un-Dude.
617
00:34:06,795 --> 00:34:09,214
They'll call back.
Look, she kidnapped...
618
00:34:10,423 --> 00:34:12,384
You see? Nothing's
fucked here, Dude.
619
00:34:12,467 --> 00:34:16,346
Nothing is fucked. They're a
bunch of fucking amateurs.
620
00:34:16,429 --> 00:34:18,932
Walter, will you just
shut the fuck up?
621
00:34:19,015 --> 00:34:21,393
Don't say peep while
I'm doing business here, man.
622
00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:23,436
Okay, Dude.
Have it your way.
623
00:34:25,522 --> 00:34:27,983
But they're amateurs.
Fuck.
624
00:34:29,568 --> 00:34:30,735
Dude.
625
00:34:30,819 --> 00:34:34,072
Okay, we proceed but only
if there is no funny stuff.
626
00:34:34,155 --> 00:34:35,699
Yeah, yeah.
627
00:34:35,782 --> 00:34:37,867
So no funny stuff. Okay?
628
00:34:37,951 --> 00:34:40,537
Just tell me where the fuck
you want us to go.
629
00:34:44,165 --> 00:34:46,376
That was the sign, man.
630
00:34:46,459 --> 00:34:50,171
So, all we gotta do
is get her back.
631
00:34:50,255 --> 00:34:52,632
No one's in a position
to complain.
632
00:34:52,716 --> 00:34:55,135
We keep the baksheesh.
Yeah, terrific, Walter.
633
00:34:55,218 --> 00:34:57,887
But you haven't told me how we're
gonna get her back. Where is she?
634
00:34:57,971 --> 00:34:59,806
That's the simple part, Dude.
635
00:34:59,889 --> 00:35:04,185
We make the hand-off, I grab one of
them and beat it out of him. Huh?
636
00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:07,939
That's a great plan, Walter.
637
00:35:08,023 --> 00:35:10,150
That's fucking ingenious,
if I understand it correctly.
638
00:35:10,233 --> 00:35:12,193
It's a Swiss fucking watch.
639
00:35:12,277 --> 00:35:15,405
That's right, Dude. The beauty
of this is its simplicity.
640
00:35:15,488 --> 00:35:18,742
Once a plan gets too complex,
everything can go wrong.
641
00:35:18,825 --> 00:35:20,577
If there's one thing
I learned in Nam...
642
00:35:24,539 --> 00:35:25,624
Dude.
643
00:35:25,707 --> 00:35:27,542
You are coming
to wooden bridge.
644
00:35:27,626 --> 00:35:28,793
When you cross the bridge,
645
00:35:28,877 --> 00:35:32,172
you throw the bag from the
left window of the moving car.
646
00:35:32,255 --> 00:35:33,298
You're being watched.
647
00:35:34,633 --> 00:35:36,968
Fuck. Wham he say'?
'nere's the hand-off'?
648
00:35:37,052 --> 00:35:38,720
There is no fucking
hand-off, man.
649
00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:41,473
At the wooden bridge we throw
the money out of the oar.
650
00:35:41,556 --> 00:35:44,392
We throw the money
out of the moving car.
651
00:35:44,934 --> 00:35:47,604
We can't do that, Dude.
That fucks up our plan.
652
00:35:47,687 --> 00:35:49,606
Well, call them up and
explain it to them, Walter.
653
00:35:49,689 --> 00:35:50,940
Your plan is so
fucking simple,
654
00:35:51,024 --> 00:35:52,817
I'm sure they'll
fucking understand it.
655
00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:54,027
That's the beauty of it.
656
00:35:54,152 --> 00:35:56,529
Wooden bfidge,huh?
Throw them the money, Walter.
657
00:35:56,613 --> 00:35:58,156
We're not fucking around, man.
658
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,492
Okay, Dude, the bridge is coming up.
Give me the ringer, chop-chop.
659
00:36:00,575 --> 00:36:02,118
Fuck that.
Walter, I love you,
660
00:36:02,202 --> 00:36:05,288
but sooner or later you're gonna have to
face the fact you're a goddamn moron.
661
00:36:05,372 --> 00:36:07,707
Okay, Dude. No time to argue.
Hey, man!
662
00:36:07,791 --> 00:36:10,168
Here's the bridge.
Hey, Walter! Hey, Walter!
663
00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:12,962
Hey, Walter!
Here goes the ringer!
664
00:36:14,255 --> 00:36:16,466
What the fuck?
Okay, Dude, you're wheel.
665
00:36:16,549 --> 00:36:18,718
Hey, man, what the fuck?
At 15 mph, I roll out.
666
00:36:18,802 --> 00:36:20,720
I double back, grab one of
them and beat it out of him.
667
00:36:20,804 --> 00:36:22,013
The Uzi.
Uzi.
668
00:36:22,097 --> 00:36:24,182
You didn't think I was rolling
out of here naked, did you?
669
00:36:24,265 --> 00:36:26,893
Walter, please! Fifteen, Dude! This is it!
Let's take that hill!
670
00:36:26,976 --> 00:36:28,269
Walter!
671
00:36:51,084 --> 00:36:53,795
We have it!
672
00:36:53,878 --> 00:36:56,381
We have it!
673
00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:58,425
We have it!
674
00:37:12,981 --> 00:37:14,983
Fuck it, Dude.
675
00:37:15,066 --> 00:37:16,651
Let's go bowling.
676
00:37:55,148 --> 00:37:58,443
Aitz chaim he, Dude,
as the ex used to say.
677
00:37:58,526 --> 00:38:00,320
What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?
678
00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:03,490
What the fuck are we
gonna tell Lebowski?
679
00:38:03,573 --> 00:38:05,700
Oh, him.
680
00:38:05,784 --> 00:38:08,787
I don't know. Vvhatexacfly
is the problem?
681
00:38:08,870 --> 00:38:10,705
The problem is...
682
00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:13,750
What do you mean,
what's the...
683
00:38:13,833 --> 00:38:15,376
There was no...
684
00:38:16,211 --> 00:38:17,796
We didn't...
685
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,090
They're gonna kill
that poor woman, man!
686
00:38:21,174 --> 00:38:23,009
What the fuck
are you talking about?
687
00:38:23,092 --> 00:38:25,637
The poor woman, that poor
slut kidnapped herself.
688
00:38:25,720 --> 00:38:27,013
Come on, Dude.
You said so yourself.
689
00:38:27,096 --> 00:38:29,390
Man, I said I thought
she kidnapped herself.
690
00:38:29,474 --> 00:38:30,975
You're the one who's
so fucking certain.
691
00:38:31,059 --> 00:38:33,603
That's right, Dude.
100% certain.
692
00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:35,396
They posted the next round
for the tournament.
693
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:36,731
Donny, shut the fuck...
694
00:38:36,815 --> 00:38:38,817
When do we play?
This Saturday. Quintana and...
695
00:38:38,900 --> 00:38:40,652
Saturday? Well, they'll
have to reschedule.
696
00:38:40,735 --> 00:38:43,071
Walter, what am I
gonna tell Lebowski?
697
00:38:43,154 --> 00:38:46,491
I told that fuck down at the league office.
V\Iho's in charge of scheduling?
698
00:38:46,574 --> 00:38:48,117
Walter!
Burkhalter.
699
00:38:48,201 --> 00:38:51,162
I told that kraut a fucking thousand
times, I don't roll on shabbos!
700
00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:52,539
Walter!
They already posted it.
701
00:38:52,622 --> 00:38:54,207
Well, they can
fucking un-post it!
702
00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:57,585
Who gives a shit? They're gonna
kill that poor woman, man!
703
00:38:57,710 --> 00:38:59,963
What am I gonna tell Lebowski?
Come on, Dude.
704
00:39:00,046 --> 00:39:03,049
Eventually she'll get tired of her little
game and, you know, wander on back.
705
00:39:03,132 --> 00:39:04,676
How come you don't roll
on Saturday, Walter?
706
00:39:04,759 --> 00:39:05,885
I'm shomer shabbos.
707
00:39:06,010 --> 00:39:07,929
What's that, Walter? Yeah,
and in the meantime,
708
00:39:08,012 --> 00:39:09,430
what do I tell Lebowski?
709
00:39:09,514 --> 00:39:11,850
Saturday, Donny, is shabbos,
the Jewish day of rest.
710
00:39:11,933 --> 00:39:14,394
That means I don't work,
I don't drive a car,
711
00:39:14,477 --> 00:39:15,979
I don't fucking
ride in a car,
712
00:39:16,062 --> 00:39:17,897
I don't handle money,
I don't turn on the oven
713
00:39:17,981 --> 00:39:20,108
and I sure as shit
don't fucking roll!
714
00:39:21,025 --> 00:39:22,110
Sheesh.
715
00:39:22,193 --> 00:39:23,736
Shomer shabbos!
716
00:39:25,655 --> 00:39:28,324
Walter, how am I gonna...
Shomer fucking shabbos!
717
00:39:28,449 --> 00:39:31,703
Oh, fuck! That's it. I'm out of here.
Oh, come on, Dude.
718
00:39:33,746 --> 00:39:35,623
Dude!Dude!
719
00:39:37,876 --> 00:39:39,210
You just tell him...
720
00:39:39,294 --> 00:39:41,671
Tell him we made the drop and
everything went, you know...
721
00:39:41,754 --> 00:39:42,797
Oh, yeah.
How'd it go?
722
00:39:42,881 --> 00:39:44,757
Went all right. Dude's car
got a little dinged up.
723
00:39:44,841 --> 00:39:47,218
Walter, we didn't make
the fucking hand-off, man!
724
00:39:47,302 --> 00:39:49,387
They didn't get
the fucking money!
725
00:39:49,470 --> 00:39:50,680
And they're gonna...
They're gonna...
726
00:39:50,763 --> 00:39:52,348
They're gonna kill
that poor woman.
727
00:39:52,432 --> 00:39:55,101
They're gonna kill
that poor woman!
728
00:39:55,184 --> 00:39:56,644
Walter, if you can't
ride in a car,
729
00:39:56,728 --> 00:39:58,104
then how do you get
around on shabbos?
730
00:39:58,187 --> 00:40:00,231
Really, Dude,
you surprise me.
731
00:40:00,315 --> 00:40:01,608
They're not gonna
kill shit.
732
00:40:01,691 --> 00:40:02,817
They're not gonna do shit.
733
00:40:02,901 --> 00:40:04,527
What can they do to her?
Bunch of fucking amateurs.
734
00:40:04,611 --> 00:40:06,446
And meanwhile,
look at the bottom line.
735
00:40:06,529 --> 00:40:08,781
Who's sitting on a million
fucking dollars?
736
00:40:08,865 --> 00:40:09,991
Am I wrong?
Walter.
737
00:40:10,074 --> 00:40:13,119
V\Iho's got a fucking million fucking
dollars sitting in the trunk of our oar?
738
00:40:13,244 --> 00:40:16,247
Our car, Walter? And what do they got?
My dirty undies.
739
00:40:16,331 --> 00:40:17,999
My fucking whites!
740
00:40:24,088 --> 00:40:25,423
SaY,Dude?
741
00:40:26,299 --> 00:40:28,217
Where is your car?
742
00:40:28,343 --> 00:40:31,471
Who's got your undies, Walter?
Where's your car, Dude?
743
00:40:31,554 --> 00:40:33,681
You don't know,
Walter?
744
00:40:34,390 --> 00:40:38,061
It was parked in a handicap zone.
Perhaps they towed it.
745
00:40:38,978 --> 00:40:41,689
You fucking
know it's been stolen.
746
00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:44,692
Well, certainly that's
a possibility, Dude.
747
00:40:46,069 --> 00:40:47,487
Oh, fuck it.
748
00:40:50,031 --> 00:40:53,451
Where you going, Dude?
I'm going home, Donny.
749
00:40:53,534 --> 00:40:56,704
Phone's ringing, Dude.
Thank you, Donny!
750
00:41:12,387 --> 00:41:13,513
Yeah.
751
00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:20,019
Green with some brown,
rust coloration.
752
00:41:21,229 --> 00:41:24,357
And was there anything
of value in the car?
753
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:25,900
Oh, yeah.
754
00:41:27,276 --> 00:41:31,614
A tape deck, some Creedence
tapes, and there was a...
755
00:41:34,200 --> 00:41:35,743
My briefcase.
756
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:39,956
In the briefcase?
757
00:41:42,083 --> 00:41:43,251
Papers.
758
00:41:44,168 --> 00:41:45,586
Just papers.
759
00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:49,966
You know, my papers,
business papers.
760
00:41:51,634 --> 00:41:54,971
And what do you do, sir?
I'm unemployed.
761
00:41:58,349 --> 00:42:01,269
My rug was also stolen.
762
00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:03,646
Your rug was in the car?
763
00:42:03,730 --> 00:42:05,440
No. Here.
764
00:42:06,107 --> 00:42:07,775
Separate incidents.
765
00:42:09,777 --> 00:42:11,529
The Dude is not in.
766
00:42:11,612 --> 00:42:14,449
Do you find them much,
these stolen cars?
767
00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:16,868
Sometimes.
768
00:42:17,702 --> 00:42:20,163
Wouldn't hold out much hope
for the tape deck though.
769
00:42:20,246 --> 00:42:21,956
Or the Creedence.
770
00:42:22,123 --> 00:42:26,085
What about the briefcase?
771
00:42:26,627 --> 00:42:28,046
Mr. Lebowski,
I'd like to see you.
772
00:42:28,129 --> 00:42:30,048
Call when you get home
and I'll send a car for you.
773
00:42:30,131 --> 00:42:33,760
My name is Maude Lebowski.
I'm the one who took your rug.
774
00:42:33,843 --> 00:42:36,929
Well, guess we can close
the file onthatone.
775
00:43:28,523 --> 00:43:31,442
I'll be with you in
a moment, Mr. Lebowski.
776
00:43:49,961 --> 00:43:53,381
Does the female form make you
uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
777
00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:57,260
Is that what this is a picture of?
In a sense, yes.
778
00:43:57,343 --> 00:44:00,012
My art has been commended
as being strongly vaginal,
779
00:44:00,096 --> 00:44:01,180
which bothers some men.
780
00:44:01,264 --> 00:44:04,225
The word itself makes
some men uncomfortable.
781
00:44:04,725 --> 00:44:06,811
Vagina.
Oh, yeah?
782
00:44:06,894 --> 00:44:09,313
Yes, they don't like hearing it
and find it difficult to say,
783
00:44:09,397 --> 00:44:10,773
whereas without
batting an eye,
784
00:44:10,857 --> 00:44:15,069
a man will refer to his dick,
or his rod or his johnson.
785
00:44:16,320 --> 00:44:17,321
"Johnson"?
786
00:44:17,405 --> 00:44:20,116
All right, Mr. Lebowski,
let's get down to cases.
787
00:44:20,199 --> 00:44:22,660
My father told me he agreed
to let you have the rug,
788
00:44:22,743 --> 00:44:26,706
but as it was a gift from me to my
late mother, it was not his to give.
789
00:44:26,789 --> 00:44:28,708
Now, your face.
790
00:44:29,959 --> 00:44:31,878
As for this kidnapping.
791
00:44:32,003 --> 00:44:33,004
Huh?
792
00:44:33,087 --> 00:44:36,507
Yes, I know all about it, and I
know that you acted as courier.
793
00:44:36,591 --> 00:44:39,844
Let me tell you something. The
whole thing stinks to high heaven.
794
00:44:39,927 --> 00:44:44,140
Yeah, right, but let me explain
something about the rug.
795
00:44:44,223 --> 00:44:46,434
Do you like sex,
Mr. Lebowski?
796
00:44:47,435 --> 00:44:50,688
Excuse me? Sex, the physical
act of love. Coitus.
797
00:44:50,813 --> 00:44:54,025
Do you like it? I was
talking about my rug.
798
00:44:54,108 --> 00:44:56,652
You're not interested in sex?
799
00:44:56,736 --> 00:44:59,030
You mean coitus?
I like it, too.
800
00:44:59,113 --> 00:45:01,365
It's a male myth about
feminists that we hate sex.
801
00:45:01,449 --> 00:45:03,868
It can be a natural,
zesty enterprise.
802
00:45:03,951 --> 00:45:05,369
However, there are
some people,
803
00:45:05,453 --> 00:45:08,372
it is called satyriasis in
men, nymphomania in women,
804
00:45:08,456 --> 00:45:11,626
who engage in it compulsively
and without joy.
805
00:45:11,709 --> 00:45:14,712
Oh, no.
Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski.
806
00:45:14,795 --> 00:45:18,716
These unfortunate souls cannot love,
in the true sense of the word.
807
00:45:18,799 --> 00:45:22,261
Our mutual acquaintance,
Bunny, is one of these.
808
00:45:22,345 --> 00:45:24,555
Listen, Maude,
809
00:45:24,639 --> 00:45:27,850
I'm sorry if your stepmother
is a nympho,
810
00:45:27,934 --> 00:45:31,312
but, you know, I don't see
what this has to do with...
811
00:45:31,395 --> 00:45:34,190
You have any Kahlua?
Take a look at this, sir.
812
00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:39,570
Oh, I know that guy.
813
00:45:41,155 --> 00:45:43,366
He's a nihilist.
814
00:45:44,951 --> 00:45:46,661
"Karl Hungus."
815
00:46:00,424 --> 00:46:01,842
Hi.
Hello.
816
00:46:01,926 --> 00:46:04,887
Mein dispatcher says there is
something wrong with dein Kabel.
817
00:46:04,971 --> 00:46:06,097
Yeah. Come on in.
818
00:46:06,180 --> 00:46:08,599
I'm not really sure exactly what's
really wrong with the cable.
819
00:46:08,683 --> 00:46:11,269
That's why they sent me.
I am an expert.
820
00:46:11,352 --> 00:46:12,687
The TV's in here.
821
00:46:12,728 --> 00:46:15,940
You recognize her, of course.
Helga, bring my tools-
822
00:46:18,859 --> 00:46:20,611
That's my friend Sherry.
823
00:46:20,695 --> 00:46:22,363
She just came over
to use the shower.
824
00:46:22,446 --> 00:46:24,782
The story is ludicrous.
825
00:46:24,865 --> 00:46:27,827
My name is Karl.
lch bin expert.
826
00:46:27,910 --> 00:46:29,954
You must be here
to fix the cable.
827
00:46:30,037 --> 00:46:32,915
Lord, you can imagine
where it goes from here.
828
00:46:32,999 --> 00:46:34,458
He fixes the cable?
829
00:46:34,542 --> 00:46:36,585
Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
830
00:46:36,669 --> 00:46:39,964
Little matter to me that this woman chose
to pursue a career in pornography,
831
00:46:40,047 --> 00:46:42,675
nor that she has been
banging Jackie Treehorn,
832
00:46:42,758 --> 00:46:44,510
to use the parlance
of our times.
833
00:46:44,593 --> 00:46:48,556
However, I am one of the two
trustees of the Lebowski Foundation,
834
00:46:48,639 --> 00:46:50,308
the other being my father.
835
00:46:50,391 --> 00:46:52,351
The foundation takes
youngsters from Watts and...
836
00:46:52,435 --> 00:46:53,811
Shit, yeah. The achievers.
837
00:46:53,894 --> 00:46:57,606
Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes,
and proud we are of all of them.
838
00:46:57,690 --> 00:47:01,527
I asked my father about his withdrawal of
$1 million from the foundation aooount,
839
00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:03,446
and he told me
about this abduction,
840
00:47:03,529 --> 00:47:05,156
but I tell you
it is preposterous.
841
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:09,160
This compulsive fornicator is taking
my father for the proverbial ride.
842
00:47:09,243 --> 00:47:11,162
Yeah, but my...
I'm getting to your rug.
843
00:47:11,245 --> 00:47:12,997
My father and I
don't get along.
844
00:47:13,080 --> 00:47:14,707
He doesn't approve
of my lifestyle and,
845
00:47:14,790 --> 00:47:16,459
needless to say,
I don't approve of his.
846
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:20,338
However, I hardly wish to make my
father's embezzlement a police matter.
847
00:47:20,421 --> 00:47:23,299
So I'm proposing that you
try to recover the money
848
00:47:23,382 --> 00:47:25,509
from the people
you delivered it to.
849
00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:28,512
Well, I could do that.
850
00:47:28,596 --> 00:47:30,473
If you successfully do so,
851
00:47:30,556 --> 00:47:35,811
I will compensate you to the tune
of 10% of the recovered sum.
852
00:47:35,895 --> 00:47:37,897
A hundred...
Thousand. Yes.
853
00:47:37,980 --> 00:47:40,733
Bones or clams or
whatever you call them.
854
00:47:40,816 --> 00:47:45,071
Yeah, but what about my...
Your rug, yes.
855
00:47:45,154 --> 00:47:47,740
Well, with that money you
can buy any number of rugs
856
00:47:47,823 --> 00:47:50,451
that don't have sentimental
value for me.
857
00:47:50,534 --> 00:47:53,037
And I am sorry about
that crack on the jaw.
858
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:55,581
Oh, that's fine.
That doesn't even...
859
00:47:55,664 --> 00:47:58,209
Here's the name and number of a
doctor who will look at it for you.
860
00:47:58,292 --> 00:47:59,877
You will receive no bill.
861
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:01,545
He's a good man
and thorough.
862
00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:03,214
That's thoughtful but...
863
00:48:03,297 --> 00:48:06,801
Please see him, Jeffrey.
He's a good man and thorough.
864
00:48:08,427 --> 00:48:10,596
Oh, well, all right.
865
00:48:11,639 --> 00:48:13,265
So he says, "My wife's
a pain in the ass.
866
00:48:13,349 --> 00:48:15,768
"She's always busting
my frigging agates.
867
00:48:15,851 --> 00:48:19,063
"My daughter's married
to a loser bastard.
868
00:48:19,146 --> 00:48:23,025
"L got a rash so bad on my
ass I can't even sit down.
869
00:48:23,109 --> 00:48:25,236
"But you know me,
I can't complain."
870
00:48:25,403 --> 00:48:27,154
Oh, fucking A, man.
871
00:48:27,238 --> 00:48:29,990
I got a rash, man. Fucking A.
872
00:48:31,033 --> 00:48:33,577
I gotta tell you, Tone, man,
873
00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:36,789
earlier today I was really
feeling shitty, man.
874
00:48:36,872 --> 00:48:38,791
Really down in the dumps.
875
00:48:38,874 --> 00:48:40,251
Lost a little money...
876
00:48:40,334 --> 00:48:43,754
Hey, you know what? Forget about it, huh?
Forget about it.
877
00:48:43,838 --> 00:48:45,089
Yeah, fuck it, man.
878
00:48:45,172 --> 00:48:48,008
You can't be worried about that shit.
Life goes on, man.
879
00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:50,803
Well, home, sweet home,
Mr. L.
880
00:48:53,514 --> 00:48:55,808
Hey, yo. Come here.
881
00:48:55,891 --> 00:48:58,394
Who's your friend in
the Volkswagen? Huh?
882
00:49:00,271 --> 00:49:02,481
Yeah.
He followed us here.
883
00:49:02,565 --> 00:49:05,484
When did he start...
Whoa! What the fuck?
884
00:49:05,568 --> 00:49:07,695
Get in the limo, you son of a bitch!
No arguments!
885
00:49:07,778 --> 00:49:10,656
Hey! Hey! Careful, man!
There's a beverage here!
886
00:49:12,324 --> 00:49:14,785
Start talking, and talk
fast, you lousy bum.
887
00:49:14,869 --> 00:49:16,704
We've been frantically
trying to reach you, Dude.
888
00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:19,331
Where is my goddamn money,
you bum?
889
00:49:20,875 --> 00:49:23,586
Well, we... I don't...
890
00:49:23,669 --> 00:49:25,963
They did not receive
the money, you nitwit!
891
00:49:26,046 --> 00:49:27,631
They did not
receive the money!
892
00:49:27,715 --> 00:49:30,009
Her life was
in your hands!
893
00:49:30,092 --> 00:49:31,635
This is our concern, Dude.
894
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:33,762
No, man.
Nothing is fucked here.
895
00:49:33,846 --> 00:49:35,764
Nothing is fucked?
No, man.
896
00:49:35,848 --> 00:49:39,643
The goddamn plane has
crashed into the mountain!
897
00:49:39,727 --> 00:49:43,981
Man, come on. Who are you gonna
believe, those guys or...
898
00:49:44,064 --> 00:49:45,816
We dropped off the damn money.
899
00:49:45,900 --> 00:49:47,193
We?
900
00:49:48,486 --> 00:49:51,489
I, the royal we.
901
00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:52,907
You know. The editorial...
902
00:49:52,990 --> 00:49:55,034
I dropped off the money
exactly as per...
903
00:49:55,117 --> 00:49:58,871
Look, man, I've got certain information.
All right?
904
00:49:58,954 --> 00:50:01,457
Certain things have
come to light and...
905
00:50:01,540 --> 00:50:04,168
You know, has it ever
occurred to you
906
00:50:04,251 --> 00:50:09,673
that instead of, you know,
running around, blaming me...
907
00:50:09,757 --> 00:50:11,967
You know, given the nature
of all this new shit,
908
00:50:12,051 --> 00:50:17,890
you know, this could be
a lot more complex...
909
00:50:17,973 --> 00:50:22,937
I mean, it's not just... It might not
be just such a simple... You know?
910
00:50:23,020 --> 00:50:26,524
What in God's holy name
are you blathering about?
911
00:50:26,607 --> 00:50:28,984
Well, I'll tell you what
I'm blathering about.
912
00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:31,028
I've got information, man.
913
00:50:31,111 --> 00:50:32,863
New shit has come to light.
914
00:50:32,947 --> 00:50:34,907
And, shit, man,
915
00:50:36,867 --> 00:50:38,786
she kidnapped herself.
916
00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:44,542
Well, sure, man.
Look at it. You know?
917
00:50:44,625 --> 00:50:48,546
A young trophy wife, in the
parlance of our times, you know.
918
00:50:48,629 --> 00:50:53,801
She owes money all over town,
including to known pornographers.
919
00:50:55,719 --> 00:50:57,972
And that's cool.
That's cool.
920
00:50:58,847 --> 00:51:02,685
I'm saying she
needs money, man.
921
00:51:02,768 --> 00:51:06,438
And, you know, of course they're
gonna say they didn't get it
922
00:51:07,731 --> 00:51:10,568
because she wants more, man.
923
00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:13,070
She's gotta feed the monkey.
I mean...
924
00:51:15,406 --> 00:51:18,492
Hasn't that ever
occurred to you, man?
925
00:51:18,576 --> 00:51:19,660
Sir?
926
00:51:21,829 --> 00:51:25,207
No, Mr. Lebowski, it had
not occurred to me.
927
00:51:25,291 --> 00:51:27,501
That had not
occurred to us, Dude.
928
00:51:27,585 --> 00:51:29,044
Well, okay, you know?
929
00:51:29,128 --> 00:51:33,632
You guys aren't privy to all
the new shit, so, you know...
930
00:51:33,716 --> 00:51:37,094
But, hey, that's what you...
That's what you pay me for.
931
00:51:39,513 --> 00:51:40,639
Speaking of which,
932
00:51:40,723 --> 00:51:45,060
do you think that you could
give me my $20,000 in cash?
933
00:51:45,144 --> 00:51:48,105
My concern is, and I've gotta
check it with my accountant,
934
00:51:48,188 --> 00:51:50,941
that this might bump me up
into a higher tax...
935
00:51:51,025 --> 00:51:53,611
Brandt, give him
the envelope.
936
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:58,282
Oh, well, if you've already got
the check made out, that's cool.
937
00:51:58,365 --> 00:52:00,367
We received this
this morning.
938
00:52:02,911 --> 00:52:06,290
Since you have
failed to achieve,
939
00:52:06,373 --> 00:52:09,877
even in the modest task
which was your charge,
940
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:13,130
since you have
stolen my money,
941
00:52:13,213 --> 00:52:16,925
since you have unrepentantly
betrayed my trust,
942
00:52:17,009 --> 00:52:20,971
I have no choice
but to tell these bums
943
00:52:21,055 --> 00:52:23,265
to do whatever is necessary
944
00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:27,478
to recover their money
from you, Jeffrey Lebowski.
945
00:52:28,729 --> 00:52:32,816
And with Brandt as my witness,
I will tell you this,
946
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:36,153
any further harm
visited upon Bunny
947
00:52:36,236 --> 00:52:39,865
will be visited tenfold
upon your head.
948
00:52:42,242 --> 00:52:43,702
By God, sir,
949
00:52:44,244 --> 00:52:47,247
I will not abide another toe.
950
00:52:47,873 --> 00:52:53,253
I hear the cottonwoods
whispering above
951
00:52:53,337 --> 00:52:55,464
That wasn't her toe, Dude.
952
00:52:57,216 --> 00:53:00,219
Whose toe was it, Walter?
How the fuck should I know?
953
00:53:00,344 --> 00:53:03,847
I do know that nothing about it
indicates... The nail polish, Walter.
954
00:53:03,931 --> 00:53:05,224
Fine, Dude.
955
00:53:05,307 --> 00:53:09,186
As if it's impossible to get some nail
polish, apply it to someone else's toe...
956
00:53:09,269 --> 00:53:10,562
Someone else...
Pinking shears.
957
00:53:10,646 --> 00:53:12,022
Where the fuck are
they gonna get...
958
00:53:12,106 --> 00:53:14,858
You want a toe?
I can get you a toe.
959
00:53:14,942 --> 00:53:16,819
Believe me,
there are ways, Dude.
960
00:53:16,944 --> 00:53:19,196
You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
Yeah, but, Walter...
961
00:53:19,279 --> 00:53:22,700
Hell, I could get you a toe by 3:00
this afternoon with nail polish.
962
00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:24,702
These fucking amateurs.
Walter...
963
00:53:24,785 --> 00:53:27,621
They send us a toe, we're supposed
to shit ourselves with fear.
964
00:53:27,705 --> 00:53:29,248
Jesus Christ!
Walter...
965
00:53:29,373 --> 00:53:31,458
The point is... They're
gonna kill her, Walter,
966
00:53:31,542 --> 00:53:33,210
and then they're
gonna kill me.
967
00:53:33,293 --> 00:53:35,754
Dude, that's...
968
00:53:37,047 --> 00:53:39,216
That's just the
stress talking, man.
969
00:53:39,299 --> 00:53:44,346
Now, so far we have what appears to me
to be a series of victimless crimes.
970
00:53:44,430 --> 00:53:46,974
What about the toe?
Forget about the fucking toe!
971
00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:50,185
Excuse me, sir. Could you
please keep your voices down?
972
00:53:50,269 --> 00:53:52,062
This is a family restaurant.
973
00:53:52,146 --> 00:53:54,565
Oh, please! Dear,
for your information,
974
00:53:54,648 --> 00:53:57,443
the Supreme Court has roundly
rejected prior restraint.
975
00:53:57,526 --> 00:53:59,903
Come on. Walter, this is not a
First Amendment thing, man.
976
00:53:59,987 --> 00:54:03,157
Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm
gonna have to ask you to leave.
977
00:54:03,240 --> 00:54:06,326
Lady, I got buddies who
died face down in the muck
978
00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:09,079
so that you and I can enjoy
this family restaurant!
979
00:54:09,204 --> 00:54:12,541
All right, I'm out of here.
Hey, Dude, don't go away, man.
980
00:54:12,624 --> 00:54:16,587
Come on. This affects all of us, man!
It's our basic freedoms!
981
00:54:21,341 --> 00:54:22,801
I'm staying.
982
00:54:25,012 --> 00:54:27,014
I'm finishing my coffee.
983
00:54:31,852 --> 00:54:33,645
EnlQYiTIQ my coffee.
984
00:54:49,870 --> 00:54:52,039
The Dude is not in.
985
00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:54,958
Leave a message after the beep.
It takes a minute.
986
00:54:56,168 --> 00:54:59,880
Mr. Lebowski, this is Duty
Officer Rolvaag of the LAPD.
987
00:54:59,963 --> 00:55:01,465
We've recovered
your automobile.
988
00:55:01,548 --> 00:55:04,843
It can be claimed at the North Hollywood
Auto Circus there on Victory.
989
00:55:04,927 --> 00:55:06,053
Their hours there are...
990
00:55:06,136 --> 00:55:07,679
Far out, man. Far fucking out!
991
00:55:18,148 --> 00:55:21,527
Hey! This is a private
residence, man.
992
00:55:29,910 --> 00:55:31,745
Oh, nice marmot.
993
00:55:41,505 --> 00:55:45,592
Where is the money,
Lebowski? V\Ie wants the money, Lebowski!
994
00:55:51,598 --> 00:55:54,810
You think we are kidding or
making with the funny stuff?
995
00:55:54,893 --> 00:55:57,187
We could do things you haven't
dreamed of, Lebowski.
996
00:55:57,312 --> 00:56:01,233
Ja, we believes in nothing. V\Ie
believes in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing!
997
00:56:01,316 --> 00:56:04,653
And tomorrow we come back
and we cut off your johnson.
998
00:56:04,736 --> 00:56:07,990
Excuse me? I said, we
cut off yourjohnson!
999
00:56:08,073 --> 00:56:10,492
Just think about that,
Lebowski.
1000
00:56:10,576 --> 00:56:12,494
Your Wiggly penis, Lebowski.
1001
00:56:12,578 --> 00:56:14,913
Ja. Maybe we stomp on it
and squish it.
1002
00:56:23,881 --> 00:56:28,302
It was discovered last night in
Van Nuys lodged against an abutment.
1003
00:56:28,385 --> 00:56:30,178
Oh, man. Lodged where?
1004
00:56:30,262 --> 00:56:32,556
You're lucky she didn't
get chopped, Mr. Lebowski.
1005
00:56:32,639 --> 00:56:35,058
Oh,man! Must've been
a joyride situation.
1006
00:56:35,142 --> 00:56:37,686
They abandoned the vehicle once
they hit the retaining wall.
1007
00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:41,106
Oh, my fucking briefcase, man!
It's not here! Shit!
1008
00:56:41,189 --> 00:56:42,900
Yeah, I saw that
on the report. Sorry.
1009
00:56:42,983 --> 00:56:44,985
You gotta get in
on the other side.
1010
00:56:46,028 --> 00:56:49,197
The side view was found
on the road by the car.
1011
00:56:50,782 --> 00:56:54,703
You're lucky they left the tape
deck though, and the Creedence.
1012
00:56:55,078 --> 00:56:57,706
Oh, Jesus!
What's that smell, man?
1013
00:56:57,789 --> 00:57:00,834
Yeah. It's probably
a vagrant slept in the car.
1014
00:57:00,918 --> 00:57:03,670
Or maybe just used it
as a toilet and moved on.
1015
00:57:03,754 --> 00:57:05,005
Hey, man,
1016
00:57:06,340 --> 00:57:07,966
are you gonna find these guys?
1017
00:57:08,050 --> 00:57:12,596
Or, you know, I mean... You
got any promising leads or...
1018
00:57:12,888 --> 00:57:14,431
Leads?
1019
00:57:14,514 --> 00:57:16,099
Yeah. Sure.
1020
00:57:16,183 --> 00:57:19,436
I'll just check with the boys
down at the crime lab.
1021
00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:23,357
They got four more detectives
working on the case.
1022
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,067
They got us working in shifts!
1023
00:57:30,530 --> 00:57:31,698
Leads!
1024
00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:34,952
My only hope is that
the big Lebowski kills me
1025
00:57:35,035 --> 00:57:36,745
before the Germans
can cut my dick off.
1026
00:57:36,828 --> 00:57:37,955
Leads!
1027
00:57:38,038 --> 00:57:39,706
Now, that is just
ridiculous, Dude.
1028
00:57:39,790 --> 00:57:41,500
No one's going to
cut your dick off.
1029
00:57:41,625 --> 00:57:44,127
Thank you, Walter. Not if I
have anything to say about it.
1030
00:57:44,211 --> 00:57:45,253
Thank you, Walter.
1031
00:57:45,379 --> 00:57:47,381
That makes me feel very secure.
Dude?
1032
00:57:47,506 --> 00:57:50,425
That makes me feel very
warm inside, man. Dude?
1033
00:57:50,509 --> 00:57:53,261
This whole fucking thing.
1034
00:57:53,345 --> 00:57:56,556
I could be sitting here with
just pee stains on my rug.
1035
00:57:56,682 --> 00:57:59,935
But no, man, I got a, you know...
Yeah. Fucking Germans.
1036
00:58:00,018 --> 00:58:01,186
Nothing changes.
1037
00:58:02,229 --> 00:58:05,816
Fucking Nazis.
They were Nazis, Dude?
1038
00:58:05,899 --> 00:58:08,485
Oh, come on, Donny. They
were threatening castration!
1039
00:58:08,568 --> 00:58:10,404
Uh-huh. Are we gonna
split hairs here?
1040
00:58:10,487 --> 00:58:11,822
No.
Am I wrong?
1041
00:58:11,905 --> 00:58:15,200
Well, he didn't... Man,
they were nihilists, man.
1042
00:58:15,283 --> 00:58:17,828
They kept saying they
believed in nothing.
1043
00:58:17,911 --> 00:58:19,246
Nihilists.
1044
00:58:20,956 --> 00:58:22,249
Fuck me.
1045
00:58:23,959 --> 00:58:27,129
I mean, say what you want about the
tenets of national socialism, Dude.
1046
00:58:27,212 --> 00:58:29,506
At least it's an ethos.
Yeah.
1047
00:58:29,589 --> 00:58:32,300
And, also, let's not forget...
Let's not forget, Dude,
1048
00:58:32,384 --> 00:58:35,345
that keeping wildlife,
an amphibious rodent,
1049
00:58:35,429 --> 00:58:38,974
for, you know,
domestic...
1050
00:58:39,057 --> 00:58:40,809
Within the city...
1051
00:58:41,601 --> 00:58:44,688
That ain't legal, either. What are
you, a fucking park ranger now?
1052
00:58:44,771 --> 00:58:46,356
No! I'm just
trying to...
1053
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,151
Who gives a shit
about the fucking marmot?
1054
00:58:49,276 --> 00:58:52,487
e are sympathmng here, Dude.
Fuck sympathy.
1055
00:58:52,571 --> 00:58:56,491
I don't need your fucking sympathy, man.
I need my fucking johnson.
1056
00:58:57,451 --> 00:59:00,662
What do you need that for, Dude?
You have got to buck up, man!
1057
00:59:00,746 --> 00:59:03,540
You cannot drag this negative
energy into the tournament.
1058
00:59:03,623 --> 00:59:06,293
Fuck the tournament.
Fuck you, Walter.
1059
00:59:09,004 --> 00:59:11,006
Fuck the tournament?
1060
00:59:11,089 --> 00:59:14,092
Okay, Dude. I can see you don't
want to be cheered up here.
1061
00:59:14,176 --> 00:59:16,636
Come on, Donny.
Let's go get us a lane.
1062
00:59:21,641 --> 00:59:24,311
Another Caucasian, Gary.
Right, Dude.
1063
00:59:26,813 --> 00:59:30,150
Friends like these, huh, Gary?
That's right, Dude.
1064
00:59:37,741 --> 00:59:42,829
See them tumbling down
1065
00:59:43,789 --> 00:59:49,002
Pledging their love
to the ground
1066
00:59:49,669 --> 00:59:53,924
Lonely, but free,
I'll be found
1067
00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:58,386
You got a good sarsaparilla?
Sioux City Sarsaparilla?
1068
00:59:58,470 --> 01:00:00,430
Yeah. That's a good one.
1069
01:00:03,517 --> 01:00:05,811
How're you doing there,
Dude?
1070
01:00:05,894 --> 01:00:07,979
Not too good, man.
1071
01:00:08,563 --> 01:00:10,982
One of those days, huh?
Yeah.
1072
01:00:12,192 --> 01:00:16,947
Well, a wiser fellow
than myself once said,
1073
01:00:17,030 --> 01:00:18,824
"Sometimes you eat
the bear and..."
1074
01:00:20,367 --> 01:00:22,452
Much obliged.
1075
01:00:22,536 --> 01:00:26,373
"Sometimes the bear,
well, he eats you."
1076
01:00:28,083 --> 01:00:30,794
That some kind of
Eastern thing?
1077
01:00:30,877 --> 01:00:32,337
Far from it.
1078
01:00:39,052 --> 01:00:41,054
I like your style, Dude.
1079
01:00:42,305 --> 01:00:46,309
Oh, well, I dig
your style, too, man.
1080
01:00:46,393 --> 01:00:48,687
Got a whole cowboy thing
going.
1081
01:00:53,066 --> 01:00:54,526
Thank you.
1082
01:00:54,609 --> 01:00:56,528
There's just one thing, Dude.
1083
01:00:56,611 --> 01:00:58,363
What's that?
1084
01:00:58,446 --> 01:01:01,074
Do you have to use
so many cuss words?
1085
01:01:04,494 --> 01:01:06,788
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1086
01:01:08,081 --> 01:01:10,542
Okay, Dude. Have it your way.
1087
01:01:12,836 --> 01:01:15,172
Take her easy, Dude.
1088
01:01:15,255 --> 01:01:16,923
Yeah. Thanks, man.
1089
01:01:22,929 --> 01:01:24,639
Call for you, Dude.
1090
01:01:28,310 --> 01:01:32,063
Hello? MA LJDE: Jeffrey, you
have not gone to the doctor.
1091
01:01:32,147 --> 01:01:35,233
Oh, yeah, no.
No, I haven't yet.
1092
01:01:35,317 --> 01:01:37,819
I'd like to see you
immediately.
1093
01:01:38,737 --> 01:01:39,779
Oh?
1094
01:01:52,459 --> 01:01:55,754
So, you're Lebowski.
Yeah.
1095
01:01:58,632 --> 01:02:00,759
Maude has told me
all about you.
1096
01:02:00,842 --> 01:02:03,303
She'll be back in a minute.
Sit down.
1097
01:02:03,720 --> 01:02:06,723
Do you want a drink?
Yeah, sure. White Russian.
1098
01:02:07,682 --> 01:02:09,476
The bar's over there.
1099
01:02:14,314 --> 01:02:18,401
So, what do you do, Lebowski?
Who the fuck are you, man?
1100
01:02:19,903 --> 01:02:23,740
Just a friend of Maudie's. Yeah?
The friend with the cleft asshole?
1101
01:02:26,910 --> 01:02:29,454
What do you do?
Oh, nothing much.
1102
01:02:30,664 --> 01:02:32,582
Hello, Jeffrey.
Hello.
1103
01:02:32,666 --> 01:02:35,543
Yeah. How are you?
Listen, Maude.
1104
01:02:36,294 --> 01:02:37,837
I got to
1105
01:02:40,173 --> 01:02:42,467
tender my resignation
or whatever
1106
01:02:42,550 --> 01:02:47,555
because looks like your mother
really was kidnapped after all.
1107
01:02:47,639 --> 01:02:49,683
She most certainly was not.
1108
01:02:49,766 --> 01:02:54,813
Hey, man, why don't you
fucking listen occasionally?
1109
01:02:54,896 --> 01:02:57,440
You might learn something.
Now, I got...
1110
01:02:57,607 --> 01:03:00,360
Please
don't call her my mother.
1111
01:03:00,443 --> 01:03:03,280
She's most definitely the
perpetrator and not the victim.
1112
01:03:03,363 --> 01:03:06,199
I'm telling you, I've got
pretty definitive evidence.
1113
01:03:06,283 --> 01:03:09,119
From who?
From the main guy, Uli.
1114
01:03:09,202 --> 01:03:12,539
Uli Kunkel? Her costar
in the beaver picture?
1115
01:03:14,207 --> 01:03:17,294
You mean vagina?
I mean, you know the guy?
1116
01:03:17,377 --> 01:03:20,213
I might have introduced them,
for all I know.
1117
01:03:20,297 --> 01:03:22,465
Do you remember Uli?
1118
01:03:22,549 --> 01:03:25,302
He's a musician. Used to
have a group, Autobahn.
1119
01:03:25,385 --> 01:03:29,931
Look in my LP's. They released
one album in the late '70s.
1120
01:03:30,015 --> 01:03:32,934
Their music is
sort of a techno pop.
1121
01:03:33,059 --> 01:03:36,479
So he's pretending to be the abductor?
V\Iell, yeah.
1122
01:03:36,563 --> 01:03:39,941
Look, Jeffrey, you don't really kidnap
someone you're acquainted with.
1123
01:03:40,025 --> 01:03:44,529
The whole idea is that the hostage can't
identify you after you've let them go.
1124
01:03:44,612 --> 01:03:46,323
Well, I know that.
1125
01:03:50,493 --> 01:03:53,163
What the fuck is with this guy?
Who is he?
1126
01:03:53,246 --> 01:03:56,750
Knox Harrington,
the video artist.
1127
01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:58,752
So, Uli has the money.
1128
01:03:59,961 --> 01:04:03,506
Well, no, not exactly.
1129
01:04:04,382 --> 01:04:06,134
This is a very complicated
case, Maude.
1130
01:04:06,301 --> 01:04:08,261
You know, a
lot of ins, a lot of outs,
1131
01:04:08,386 --> 01:04:09,512
a lot of what-have-yous
1132
01:04:09,596 --> 01:04:12,182
and a lot of strands
to keep in my head, man.
1133
01:04:12,265 --> 01:04:14,726
You know, a lot of strands
in the old Duder's head.
1134
01:04:14,809 --> 01:04:16,019
Hello?
1135
01:04:16,102 --> 01:04:17,979
If Uli doesn't have it,
then who does?
1136
01:04:18,063 --> 01:04:19,981
It's Sandra
about the Biennale.
1137
01:04:20,065 --> 01:04:23,568
Look. I have to take this. Do you
still have that doctor's number?
1138
01:04:23,651 --> 01:04:27,197
No, really, it's not even bruised anymore.
Oh, please, Jeffrey.
1139
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:30,367
I don't want to be responsible
for any delayed aftereffects.
1140
01:04:32,911 --> 01:04:34,537
Aftereffects?
1141
01:05:03,983 --> 01:05:07,278
Could you slide your shorts
down, Mr. Lebowski, please?
1142
01:05:07,362 --> 01:05:08,446
Mmm?
1143
01:05:08,780 --> 01:05:10,740
No, no, man.
She hit me right here.
1144
01:05:10,824 --> 01:05:14,494
I understand. Could you slide
your shorts down, please?
1145
01:05:25,630 --> 01:05:27,924
Just got home from Illinois
1146
01:05:28,007 --> 01:05:30,176
Locked the front door, oh, boy
1147
01:05:30,260 --> 01:05:34,472
Got to sit down,
take a rest on the porch
1148
01:05:34,848 --> 01:05:37,016
Imagination sets in
1149
01:05:37,100 --> 01:05:39,310
Pretty soon I'm singin'
1150
01:05:39,394 --> 01:05:41,229
Doo,doo,doo
1151
01:05:41,312 --> 01:05:43,398
Looking out my back door
1152
01:05:43,481 --> 01:05:46,192
Keeping mighty cool. There's
a giant doing cartwheels
1153
01:05:46,276 --> 01:05:48,528
A statue wearing high heels
1154
01:05:48,611 --> 01:05:50,864
Look at all the
happy creatures
1155
01:05:50,947 --> 01:05:53,199
Dancing on the lawn
1156
01:05:53,283 --> 01:05:57,620
A dinosaur Victrola
listening to Buck Owens
1157
01:05:57,745 --> 01:05:59,747
Doo, doo, doo
1158
01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:01,916
Looking out my back door
1159
01:06:02,375 --> 01:06:06,713
Tambourines and
elephants are playing in the band
1160
01:06:08,214 --> 01:06:09,382
Doo,doo,doo
1161
01:06:09,466 --> 01:06:13,428
Wondrous apparition
provided by magician
1162
01:06:13,887 --> 01:06:15,722
Doo,doo,doo
1163
01:06:15,805 --> 01:06:18,475
Looking out my back door
1164
01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:40,997
Tambourines and elephants
are playing in the band
1165
01:06:41,080 --> 01:06:44,501
Won't you take a ride
on the flying spoon?
1166
01:06:44,584 --> 01:06:46,002
Doo,doo,doo
1167
01:06:46,085 --> 01:06:47,837
Bother me tomorrow
1168
01:06:47,921 --> 01:06:50,381
Today I'll buy no sorrows
1169
01:06:50,465 --> 01:06:51,883
Doo,doo,doo
1170
01:06:51,966 --> 01:06:54,761
Looking out my back door
1171
01:07:47,146 --> 01:07:50,608
He lives in North Hollywood on
Radford, near the ln-N-Out Burger.
1172
01:07:50,692 --> 01:07:52,860
No, the ln-N-Out
Burger's on Camrose.
1173
01:07:52,944 --> 01:07:55,363
Near the ln-N-Out Burger. Those
are good burgers, Walter.
1174
01:07:55,446 --> 01:07:58,324
Shut the fuck up, Donny. The kid
is in the ninth grade, Dude.
1175
01:07:58,408 --> 01:08:01,035
And his father is...
Are you ready for this?
1176
01:08:01,119 --> 01:08:04,455
His father is
Arthur Digby Sellers.
1177
01:08:04,539 --> 01:08:06,124
Who the fuck is that?
1178
01:08:06,207 --> 01:08:09,252
Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?
VVhO the...
1179
01:08:09,335 --> 01:08:11,713
Have you ever heard of a little
show called Branded, Dude?
1180
01:08:11,796 --> 01:08:12,839
Yes, yes, I...
1181
01:08:12,922 --> 01:08:14,924
"All but one man died
there at Bitter Creek."
1182
01:08:15,008 --> 01:08:17,260
I know the fucking show,
Walter. So what?
1183
01:08:17,343 --> 01:08:21,389
Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers
wrote 156 episodes, Dude.
1184
01:08:21,472 --> 01:08:23,182
The bulk of the series.
1185
01:08:23,266 --> 01:08:24,309
Oh.
1186
01:08:24,350 --> 01:08:26,936
Not exactly a lightweight. No.
1187
01:08:27,020 --> 01:08:29,355
And yet his son
is a fucking dunce.
1188
01:08:30,857 --> 01:08:33,568
Anyway, we'll go there
after the what-have-you.
1189
01:08:33,651 --> 01:08:35,320
We'll brace the kid.
Should be a pushover.
1190
01:08:35,403 --> 01:08:36,613
We'll be near
the ln-N-Out Burger.
1191
01:08:36,696 --> 01:08:37,822
Shut the fuck up, Donny!
1192
01:08:40,116 --> 01:08:43,328
V\Ie'll go out there, we'll brace the kid.
He should be a pushover.
1193
01:08:43,411 --> 01:08:45,538
We'll get that fucking
million dollars back,
1194
01:08:45,622 --> 01:08:47,749
if he hasn't
spent it already.
1195
01:08:47,832 --> 01:08:49,876
A million fucking clams.
1196
01:08:49,959 --> 01:08:53,630
And, yes, we'll be near the...
ln-N-Out.
1197
01:08:54,047 --> 01:08:57,467
Shh! Shh! Some burgers, some beers.
A few laughs.
1198
01:09:00,178 --> 01:09:02,472
Our fucking troubles
are over, Dude.
1199
01:09:14,942 --> 01:09:17,945
Oh, fuck me, man.
1200
01:09:18,029 --> 01:09:20,823
That kid's already spent
all the money, man.
1201
01:09:20,907 --> 01:09:23,159
New Vette? Hardly, Dude.
1202
01:09:23,242 --> 01:09:28,581
I'd say he still has $960,000, $970,000
left, depending on the options.
1203
01:09:29,290 --> 01:09:30,291
Wait in the car, Donny.
1204
01:09:34,462 --> 01:09:36,464
Yes?
Pilar?
1205
01:09:37,674 --> 01:09:41,803
My name is Walter Sobchak. This is
my associate, Jeffrey Lebowski.
1206
01:09:43,221 --> 01:09:45,515
We came to talk
about little Larry.
1207
01:09:45,598 --> 01:09:47,684
May we come in?
Yes, yes.
1208
01:09:47,767 --> 01:09:49,102
Thank you.
1209
01:09:53,439 --> 01:09:55,066
That's him, Dude.
1210
01:10:02,615 --> 01:10:05,076
And a good day
to you, sir!
1211
01:10:05,159 --> 01:10:07,161
Sit down, please.
1212
01:10:12,583 --> 01:10:15,378
Larry, sweetie,
the man is here!
1213
01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:18,297
Is he...
Does he still write?
1214
01:10:18,381 --> 01:10:21,509
Oh, no, no.
He has health problems.
1215
01:10:21,676 --> 01:10:22,885
Uh-huh.
1216
01:10:24,637 --> 01:10:26,681
Sir, I just want to say
1217
01:10:27,682 --> 01:10:30,143
that we're both,
on a personal level,
1218
01:10:31,644 --> 01:10:33,604
really enormous fans.
1219
01:10:33,688 --> 01:10:36,858
Branded, especially
the early episodes,
1220
01:10:36,941 --> 01:10:39,068
was truly a source
of inspiration.
1221
01:10:39,152 --> 01:10:41,946
Sweetie, sit down.
This man is the police.
1222
01:10:42,029 --> 01:10:45,616
Oh, no, ma'am. V\Ie didn't want to give the
impression that we were police, exactly.
1223
01:10:45,700 --> 01:10:48,453
V\Ie're hoping it won't be
necessary to call the police.
1224
01:10:48,536 --> 01:10:50,997
But that's up to
little Larry here.
1225
01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:52,707
Isn't it, Larry?
1226
01:11:03,593 --> 01:11:05,720
Is this your homework,
Larry?
1227
01:11:07,180 --> 01:11:09,390
Is this your homework, Larry?
Look, man, it...
1228
01:11:09,474 --> 01:11:12,852
Dude. Please? ls this
your homework, Larry?
1229
01:11:12,935 --> 01:11:14,312
Just ask him about
the car, man.
1230
01:11:14,395 --> 01:11:16,731
Is this yours, Larry? ls
this your homework, Larry?
1231
01:11:16,814 --> 01:11:18,024
Is that your car out front?
1232
01:11:18,065 --> 01:11:21,027
Is this your homework, Larry? We
know it's his fucking homework!
1233
01:11:21,110 --> 01:11:23,362
Where's the fucking money,
you little brat?
1234
01:11:23,446 --> 01:11:26,449
Look, Larry, have you
ever heard of Vietnam?
1235
01:11:26,574 --> 01:11:28,868
For Christ's sake, Walter. You are
entering a world of pain, son.
1236
01:11:28,951 --> 01:11:31,621
We know that this is your homework.
We know that you stole the car.
1237
01:11:31,704 --> 01:11:34,248
And the fucking money.
And the fucking money!
1238
01:11:34,332 --> 01:11:36,000
And we know that
this is your homework!
1239
01:11:36,083 --> 01:11:37,293
We're gonna cut
your dick off, Larry.
1240
01:11:37,376 --> 01:11:39,337
You're killing
your father, Larry.
1241
01:11:42,507 --> 01:11:44,592
All right.
This is pointless.
1242
01:11:45,885 --> 01:11:48,554
Okay, time for Plan B.
1243
01:11:50,807 --> 01:11:53,768
You might want to watch out
that front window, Larry.
1244
01:11:55,061 --> 01:11:58,439
Son, this is what happens when
you fuck a stranger in the ass!
1245
01:12:00,107 --> 01:12:02,068
A little language
problem here.
1246
01:12:02,151 --> 01:12:04,529
Little prick's
stonewalling me.
1247
01:12:05,404 --> 01:12:06,948
Walter.
1248
01:12:07,657 --> 01:12:09,659
What are you doing, man?
1249
01:12:12,286 --> 01:12:14,080
What are you doing?
1250
01:12:15,414 --> 01:12:17,083
Here you go, Larry.
1251
01:12:17,166 --> 01:12:19,168
You see what happens?
1252
01:12:19,252 --> 01:12:21,295
You see what happens, Larry?
1253
01:12:22,046 --> 01:12:23,881
You see what happens?
Oh, great.
1254
01:12:23,965 --> 01:12:27,552
This is what happens when you fuck
a stranger in the ass, Larry.
1255
01:12:30,596 --> 01:12:32,223
This is what happens, Larry.
1256
01:12:32,306 --> 01:12:34,141
You see what happens, Larry?
1257
01:12:34,225 --> 01:12:36,686
You see what happens when you
fuck a stranger in the ass?
1258
01:12:36,769 --> 01:12:38,980
This is what happens!
1259
01:12:39,146 --> 01:12:41,232
You see what happens, Larry?
1260
01:12:41,315 --> 01:12:43,693
You see what happens, Larry?
1261
01:12:43,776 --> 01:12:47,488
Do you see what happens, Larry, when
you fuck a stranger in the ass?
1262
01:12:48,739 --> 01:12:50,283
This is what happens, Larry!
1263
01:12:50,366 --> 01:12:52,034
This is what happens, Larry!
1264
01:12:52,118 --> 01:12:54,871
My car! My baby!
This is what happens, Larry!
1265
01:12:54,954 --> 01:12:56,914
This is what happens
when you fuck a stranger...
1266
01:12:56,998 --> 01:12:59,667
What the fuck are you
doing, man? Stop it!
1267
01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:02,253
Hey, man. I just bought
that fucking car last week!
1268
01:13:02,378 --> 01:13:05,381
Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm sorry!
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
1269
01:13:05,506 --> 01:13:08,634
I just bought the fucking car last week!
Come on, man.
1270
01:13:08,718 --> 01:13:10,553
I'll kill your
fucking car, man!
1271
01:13:10,636 --> 01:13:12,680
No, no. Hey, hey,
that's not his! Hey!
1272
01:13:12,763 --> 01:13:15,224
God damn it!
Whoa! Oh, no!
1273
01:13:15,308 --> 01:13:17,101
Fuck you!
Man. No.
1274
01:13:17,184 --> 01:13:19,687
You like that? Fuck you!
1275
01:13:19,770 --> 01:13:23,232
- I'll kill your fucking car!
- No. No, no. No.
1276
01:13:23,316 --> 01:13:25,234
I'll kill your fucking car!
1277
01:13:46,255 --> 01:13:48,174
I accept your apology.
1278
01:13:49,342 --> 01:13:52,845
No, I just want to handle it
by myself from now on.
1279
01:13:54,055 --> 01:13:56,098
No.No.No!
1280
01:13:56,182 --> 01:13:58,017
That has nothing
to do with it.
1281
01:13:59,393 --> 01:14:02,772
Yes, the car made it home.
You're calling me at home.
1282
01:14:04,398 --> 01:14:09,153
No, Walter, it did not look
like Larry was about to crack!
1283
01:14:11,364 --> 01:14:13,366
Well, that's your perception.
1284
01:14:15,076 --> 01:14:17,745
You know, Walter,
you're right.
1285
01:14:17,828 --> 01:14:19,789
There is an unspoken
message here.
1286
01:14:19,872 --> 01:14:22,291
It's, "Fuck you!
Leave me the fuck alone!"
1287
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:27,046
Yeah, I'll be at practice.
1288
01:14:44,647 --> 01:14:46,482
Pin your diapers on,
Lebowski.
1289
01:14:46,565 --> 01:14:48,317
Jackie Treehorn
wants to see you.
1290
01:14:48,401 --> 01:14:51,278
Jackie Treehorn knows which
Lebowski you are, Lebowski.
1291
01:14:51,362 --> 01:14:54,198
Jackie Treehorn wants to
see the deadbeat Lebowski.
1292
01:14:54,281 --> 01:14:56,158
You're not dealing
with morons here.
1293
01:15:44,206 --> 01:15:47,209
Hello, Dude.
Thanks for coming.
1294
01:15:47,293 --> 01:15:48,961
I'm Jackie Treehorn.
1295
01:15:51,881 --> 01:15:54,592
This is quite a pad
you got here, man.
1296
01:15:54,675 --> 01:15:56,677
Completely unspoiled.
1297
01:15:56,761 --> 01:15:59,972
What's your drink, Dude?
A White Russian. Thanks.
1298
01:16:00,848 --> 01:16:02,141
White Russian.
1299
01:16:02,767 --> 01:16:06,729
How's the smut business, Jackie?
I wouldn't know, Dude.
1300
01:16:06,812 --> 01:16:12,234
I deal in publishing,
entertainment, pofificaladvocacy.
1301
01:16:12,318 --> 01:16:15,571
Which one's Logjammin'?
Yes, regrettably, it's true.
1302
01:16:15,654 --> 01:16:18,491
Standards have fallen
in adult entertainment.
1303
01:16:18,574 --> 01:16:20,201
It's video, Dude.
1304
01:16:21,035 --> 01:16:22,870
Now that we're competing
with those amateurs,
1305
01:16:22,953 --> 01:16:26,499
we can't afford to invest
in little extras like story,
1306
01:16:27,333 --> 01:16:30,252
production value, feelings.
1307
01:16:32,004 --> 01:16:37,218
You know, people forget that the
brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
1308
01:16:37,843 --> 01:16:39,428
On you maybe.
1309
01:16:39,512 --> 01:16:41,430
Of course, you have to take
the good with the bad.
1310
01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:44,433
New technology permits us
to do very exciting things
1311
01:16:44,517 --> 01:16:47,228
in interactive
erotic software.
1312
01:16:47,311 --> 01:16:51,398
Wave of the future, Dude.
100% electronic.
1313
01:16:52,733 --> 01:16:55,361
Well, I still jerk off
manually.
1314
01:16:57,655 --> 01:17:02,034
Of course you do. I can see you're
anxious for me to get to the point.
1315
01:17:02,118 --> 01:17:04,829
Well, here it is, Dude.
1316
01:17:04,912 --> 01:17:06,497
Where's Bunny?
1317
01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:09,125
Well, I thought you might know that, man.
V\Ihy would I?
1318
01:17:09,208 --> 01:17:13,462
She only ran off to get away from
that rather sizable debt to me.
1319
01:17:13,546 --> 01:17:15,965
No, she didn't run off.
She's been...
1320
01:17:16,048 --> 01:17:18,134
I heard that kidnapping story,
so save it.
1321
01:17:18,217 --> 01:17:20,219
I know you're mixed up
in all this, Dude.
1322
01:17:21,846 --> 01:17:24,974
And I don't care what you're
trying to get from the husband.
1323
01:17:25,057 --> 01:17:26,559
That's your business.
1324
01:17:26,642 --> 01:17:30,479
All I'm saying is I want mine.
1325
01:17:30,563 --> 01:17:31,814
Yeah, right, man.
1326
01:17:31,897 --> 01:17:35,776
I mean, there are a lot of
facets to this,
1327
01:17:35,901 --> 01:17:37,778
a lot of interested parties.
1328
01:17:38,195 --> 01:17:39,530
Excuse me.
1329
01:17:45,244 --> 01:17:46,328
Yeah?
1330
01:17:47,288 --> 01:17:48,455
Oh. yeah?
1331
01:17:48,539 --> 01:17:49,957
Where is that?
1332
01:17:53,586 --> 01:17:55,713
All right. Yeah.
1333
01:17:58,716 --> 01:18:00,050
Excuse me.
1334
01:18:35,544 --> 01:18:39,215
Forgive me.
No problemo, man.
1335
01:18:39,298 --> 01:18:43,636
So, if I can find your money,
1336
01:18:45,429 --> 01:18:47,306
what's in it for the Dude?
1337
01:18:47,389 --> 01:18:50,559
Well, of course, there's that to discuss.
You want a refill?
1338
01:18:50,643 --> 01:18:54,104
Yeah, does the pope shit in the woods?
10% finder's fee.
1339
01:18:54,188 --> 01:18:57,650
That all right?
Okay. Done, Jackie.
1340
01:18:58,609 --> 01:19:00,903
I dig the way
you do business, man.
1341
01:19:00,986 --> 01:19:04,615
Your money is being held by
a kid named Larry Sellers.
1342
01:19:04,698 --> 01:19:07,451
He lives in North Hollywood
on Radford,
1343
01:19:08,661 --> 01:19:11,163
by the ln-N-Out Burger.
1344
01:19:11,247 --> 01:19:12,289
Fucking brat.
1345
01:19:12,373 --> 01:19:16,585
But I'm sure your goons can get it off him.
I mean, he's 15.
1346
01:19:18,837 --> 01:19:20,798
Flunking social studies.
1347
01:19:24,176 --> 01:19:27,054
So, if you could just
1348
01:19:27,137 --> 01:19:31,433
write me a check for
my 10% of half a million,
1349
01:19:31,517 --> 01:19:34,603
5 grand,
I'll go out and mingle.
1350
01:19:39,066 --> 01:19:41,527
You mix a hell of
a Caucasian, Jackie.
1351
01:19:43,028 --> 01:19:45,114
Fifteen-year-old kid.
1352
01:19:45,864 --> 01:19:49,868
Is this some sort of a joke?
No. No joke.
1353
01:19:51,662 --> 01:19:54,790
No funny stuff, Jackie.
The kid's got it.
1354
01:19:54,873 --> 01:19:56,041
Hi, fellas.
1355
01:19:58,752 --> 01:20:00,379
Kid just wanted a car.
1356
01:20:03,674 --> 01:20:07,052
All the Dude ever wanted
was his rug back.
1357
01:20:07,553 --> 01:20:08,887
Not greedy.
1358
01:20:10,556 --> 01:20:11,932
It really
1359
01:20:13,559 --> 01:20:15,269
tied the room together.
1360
01:20:18,230 --> 01:20:21,400
Darkness washed
over the Dude.
1361
01:20:21,483 --> 01:20:25,988
Darker than a black steer's tokus
on a moonless prairie night.
1362
01:20:26,947 --> 01:20:29,742
There was no bottom.
1363
01:20:43,839 --> 01:20:46,258
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1364
01:20:46,342 --> 01:20:49,928
What condition
my condition was in
1365
01:20:51,930 --> 01:20:57,269
I woke up this morning
with the sundown shining in
1366
01:21:00,272 --> 01:21:05,611
I found my mind in
a brown paper bag within
1367
01:21:08,489 --> 01:21:12,743
I tripped on a cloud
and fell-a eight miles high
1368
01:21:12,826 --> 01:21:16,872
I tore my mind on a jagged sky
1369
01:21:16,955 --> 01:21:18,707
I just dropped in
1370
01:21:18,791 --> 01:21:22,961
To see what condition
my condition was in
1371
01:21:23,337 --> 01:21:26,006
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1372
01:21:26,090 --> 01:21:29,385
What condition
my condition was in
1373
01:21:35,641 --> 01:21:39,228
I pushed my soul
in a deep, dark hole
1374
01:21:39,311 --> 01:21:41,980
And then I followed it in
1375
01:21:43,899 --> 01:21:47,027
I watched myself crawlin' out
1376
01:21:47,111 --> 01:21:50,989
As I was a-crawlin' in
1377
01:21:51,615 --> 01:21:54,076
I got up so tight
1378
01:21:54,159 --> 01:21:56,286
I couldn't unwind
1379
01:21:56,370 --> 01:22:00,499
I saw so much I broke my mind
1380
01:22:00,582 --> 01:22:02,418
I just dropped in
1381
01:22:02,501 --> 01:22:06,213
To see what condition
my condition was in
1382
01:22:15,180 --> 01:22:17,766
Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
1383
01:22:17,850 --> 01:22:21,103
What condition
my condition was in
1384
01:22:26,984 --> 01:22:30,779
Someone painted "April Fool"
1385
01:22:30,863 --> 01:22:33,490
In big, black letters
on a "Dead End" sign
1386
01:22:35,117 --> 01:22:39,496
I had my foot on the gas
as I left the road
1387
01:22:39,580 --> 01:22:43,167
And blew out my mind
1388
01:22:43,667 --> 01:22:48,088
Eight miles out of Memphis
and I got no spare
1389
01:22:48,172 --> 01:22:52,050
Eight miles straight up
downtown somewhere
1390
01:22:52,384 --> 01:22:54,303
I just dropped in
1391
01:22:54,386 --> 01:22:58,724
To see what condition
my condition was in
1392
01:23:00,142 --> 01:23:02,478
I said I just dropped in
1393
01:23:02,561 --> 01:23:06,732
To see what condition
my condition was in
1394
01:23:07,107 --> 01:23:10,194
Yeah, yeah
1395
01:23:10,277 --> 01:23:16,575
Oh, yeah
1396
01:24:10,712 --> 01:24:14,132
He was innocent
1397
01:24:15,050 --> 01:24:18,679
Not a charge was true
1398
01:24:19,388 --> 01:24:24,977
And they say
he ran away branded
1399
01:24:38,365 --> 01:24:40,200
ls this your only ID?
1400
01:24:40,993 --> 01:24:42,911
I know my rights, man.
1401
01:24:45,038 --> 01:24:46,790
You don't know shit, Lebowski.
1402
01:24:46,873 --> 01:24:49,585
I want a fucking lawyer,
man.
1403
01:24:49,668 --> 01:24:53,839
L want Bill Kunstler, man,
1404
01:24:55,340 --> 01:24:57,050
or Ron Kuby.
1405
01:24:57,134 --> 01:25:00,304
Mr. Treehorn tells us
that he had to eject you
1406
01:25:00,387 --> 01:25:02,389
from his garden party,
1407
01:25:02,848 --> 01:25:04,766
that you were drunk
and abusive.
1408
01:25:04,850 --> 01:25:09,938
Mr. Treehorn treats objects
like women, man.
1409
01:25:10,439 --> 01:25:13,567
Mr. Treehorn draws
a lot of water in this town.
1410
01:25:13,650 --> 01:25:16,028
You don't draw shit, Lebowski.
1411
01:25:16,111 --> 01:25:18,822
Now, we got a nice quiet
little beach community here,
1412
01:25:18,905 --> 01:25:21,450
and I aim to keep it
nice and quiet.
1413
01:25:21,533 --> 01:25:23,869
So let me make
something plain.
1414
01:25:24,411 --> 01:25:28,498
I don't like you sucking around
bothering our citizens, Lebowski.
1415
01:25:29,207 --> 01:25:31,460
I don't like your
jerk-off name.
1416
01:25:31,543 --> 01:25:32,794
I don't like your
jerk-off face.
1417
01:25:32,878 --> 01:25:34,504
I don't like your
jerk-off behavior.
1418
01:25:34,588 --> 01:25:37,549
And I don't like you,
jerk-off.
1419
01:25:41,219 --> 01:25:43,096
Do I make myself clear?
1420
01:25:46,224 --> 01:25:48,226
I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
1421
01:25:49,728 --> 01:25:50,771
Ow!
1422
01:25:50,854 --> 01:25:52,439
Fucking fascist!
1423
01:25:54,066 --> 01:25:56,234
Stay out of Malibu,
Lebowski.
1424
01:25:57,069 --> 01:25:59,196
Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat!
1425
01:26:00,364 --> 01:26:04,868
Keep your ugly, fucking, gold-bricking
ass out of my beach community.
1426
01:26:05,035 --> 01:26:07,704
I want to sleep with you
1427
01:26:07,788 --> 01:26:10,916
In the desert tonight
1428
01:26:12,167 --> 01:26:16,797
With a billion stars
all around
1429
01:26:17,673 --> 01:26:20,842
Jesus, man. Could you
change the channel?
1430
01:26:20,926 --> 01:26:22,594
Fuck you, man! If you don't
like my fucking music,
1431
01:26:22,678 --> 01:26:24,179
get your own fucking cab!
1432
01:26:24,262 --> 01:26:25,347
I had a really rough...
1433
01:26:25,430 --> 01:26:27,182
I'll pull off to the side
and kick your ass out.
1434
01:26:27,265 --> 01:26:31,978
Man, come on. I had a rough night,
and I hate the fucking Eagles, man.
1435
01:26:39,736 --> 01:26:42,322
Out of my fucking cab! Out!
Man!
1436
01:26:43,782 --> 01:26:45,951
Man! Man! Hey!
1437
01:26:57,129 --> 01:27:01,049
There 's a thousand
pretty women waiting out there
1438
01:27:01,133 --> 01:27:04,886
And they're all livin'
devil may care
1439
01:27:04,970 --> 01:27:08,557
And I'm just the devil
with love to spare
1440
01:27:08,807 --> 01:27:12,102
So viva Las Vegas
1441
01:27:12,936 --> 01:27:16,481
Viva Las Vegas
1442
01:27:28,493 --> 01:27:31,121
Oh, Jesus!
1443
01:27:51,057 --> 01:27:52,309
Jeffrey.
1444
01:27:53,226 --> 01:27:55,103
Maude?
Love me.
1445
01:27:57,898 --> 01:27:59,858
That's my robe.
1446
01:28:01,151 --> 01:28:03,069
Tell me about
yourself, Jeffrey.
1447
01:28:03,904 --> 01:28:06,156
Well, not much to tell.
1448
01:28:07,282 --> 01:28:12,913
I was one of the authors
of the Port Huron Statement.
1449
01:28:14,539 --> 01:28:16,917
The original Port Huron Statement.
Uh-huh.
1450
01:28:17,375 --> 01:28:20,921
Not the compromised
second draft.
1451
01:28:22,839 --> 01:28:24,549
Then I...
1452
01:28:25,717 --> 01:28:28,261
You ever hear of
the Seattle Seven?
1453
01:28:28,345 --> 01:28:29,721
That was me.
1454
01:28:32,974 --> 01:28:35,227
And there were
six other guys.
1455
01:28:36,770 --> 01:28:39,981
And then the music business,
briefly.
1456
01:28:40,065 --> 01:28:41,608
Oh?
Yeah.
1457
01:28:41,691 --> 01:28:43,401
Roadie for Metallica.
1458
01:28:43,485 --> 01:28:44,528
Oh.
1459
01:28:44,611 --> 01:28:46,112
Speed of Sound tour.
1460
01:28:46,488 --> 01:28:47,864
Mmm-hmm.
1461
01:28:48,323 --> 01:28:49,991
Bunch of assholes.
1462
01:28:51,284 --> 01:28:54,663
And then, you know, little
of this, little of that.
1463
01:28:56,039 --> 01:28:59,292
My career's slowed down
a little lately.
1464
01:28:59,376 --> 01:29:02,504
What do you do
for recreation?
1465
01:29:03,296 --> 01:29:04,756
Well, the usual.
1466
01:29:04,840 --> 01:29:07,634
Bowl, drive around,
1467
01:29:09,094 --> 01:29:11,429
the occasional
acid flashback.
1468
01:29:17,644 --> 01:29:19,729
What happened
to your house?
1469
01:29:19,813 --> 01:29:22,357
Oh, Jackie Treehorn
trashed the place.
1470
01:29:22,440 --> 01:29:25,360
He thought I had
your father's money.
1471
01:29:25,443 --> 01:29:28,613
He got me out of the way
while he looked for it.
1472
01:29:28,697 --> 01:29:30,824
Cocktail?
No, thanks.
1473
01:29:30,907 --> 01:29:33,994
It's not my father's money.
It's the foundation's.
1474
01:29:34,494 --> 01:29:37,789
Why did he think you have it?
Who does?
1475
01:29:37,873 --> 01:29:42,335
Oh, Larry Sellers, this high school kid.
Real fucking brat.
1476
01:29:42,419 --> 01:29:45,964
You know, this is a very
complicated case, Maude.
1477
01:29:46,047 --> 01:29:48,049
A lot of ins, a lot of outs.
1478
01:29:48,717 --> 01:29:53,263
You know, fortunately, I'm adhering
to a pretty strict, drug regimen
1479
01:29:53,346 --> 01:29:55,599
to keep my mind,
you know, limber,
1480
01:29:55,682 --> 01:29:59,227
and I'm very fucking close
to your father's money.
1481
01:29:59,311 --> 01:30:01,938
I keep telling you, it's
the foundation's money.
1482
01:30:02,022 --> 01:30:03,648
Father doesn't have any.
1483
01:30:05,233 --> 01:30:07,402
What are you talking about?
He's fucking loaded.
1484
01:30:07,485 --> 01:30:09,821
No, no. The wealth
is all Mother's.
1485
01:30:10,614 --> 01:30:12,073
No, he runs stuff.
1486
01:30:12,490 --> 01:30:14,701
We did let him run one
of the companies briefly,
1487
01:30:14,784 --> 01:30:17,704
but he didn't do very well at it.
Oh, he's, you know...
1488
01:30:17,787 --> 01:30:20,165
No, he helps administer
the charities now,
1489
01:30:20,248 --> 01:30:22,876
and I give him
a reasonable allowance.
1490
01:30:22,959 --> 01:30:24,628
He has no money of his own.
1491
01:30:24,711 --> 01:30:26,421
I know how he likes
to present himself.
1492
01:30:26,504 --> 01:30:29,799
Father's weakness is vanity,
hence the slut.
1493
01:30:32,052 --> 01:30:33,678
Do you think he...
1494
01:30:35,180 --> 01:30:36,514
What is that, yoga?
1495
01:30:36,598 --> 01:30:38,975
It increases the chances
ofconcepflon.
1496
01:30:41,937 --> 01:30:44,439
Increases...
Well, yes.
1497
01:30:44,522 --> 01:30:47,484
What did you think this was all about?
Fun and games?
1498
01:30:47,567 --> 01:30:49,110
L want a child.
1499
01:30:49,694 --> 01:30:51,529
Okay, yeah, okay.
1500
01:30:51,613 --> 01:30:54,449
But let me... Let me explain
something about the Dude.
1501
01:30:54,532 --> 01:30:57,994
Look, Jeffrey,
I don't want a partner.
1502
01:30:58,078 --> 01:31:01,790
In fact, I don't want the father to
be someone I have to see socially
1503
01:31:01,873 --> 01:31:04,960
or who will have any interest
in raising the child himself.
1504
01:31:06,378 --> 01:31:09,881
Oh. So, that doctor...
Exactly.
1505
01:31:10,966 --> 01:31:13,843
Now, what happened
to your face?
1506
01:31:14,469 --> 01:31:16,596
Did Jackie Treehorn
do that as well?
1507
01:31:16,680 --> 01:31:21,977
No, it was the chief of police
of Malibu, a real reactionary.
1508
01:31:22,060 --> 01:31:23,812
So, your father...
1509
01:31:25,814 --> 01:31:28,733
Oh, yeah, I get it.
Yeah. Yeah. What?
1510
01:31:28,817 --> 01:31:33,238
Oh,man. My thinking about this
case has become very uptight.
1511
01:31:33,321 --> 01:31:34,823
Yeah.
1512
01:31:34,906 --> 01:31:36,241
Your father.
1513
01:31:37,242 --> 01:31:40,245
Jeffrey, what are
you talking about?
1514
01:31:42,247 --> 01:31:43,248
Jeffrey!
1515
01:31:43,331 --> 01:31:46,126
Walter, if you're there, pick
up the fucking phone, man.
1516
01:31:46,209 --> 01:31:48,211
Come on, Walter.
1517
01:31:48,294 --> 01:31:51,506
Pick it up, man. This is an emergency.
Dude ? Dude ?
1518
01:31:51,589 --> 01:31:55,552
Yeah. Listen, Walter. I'm at my place.
I need you to come pick me up.
1519
01:31:55,635 --> 01:31:58,013
I can't drive, Dude-
It's Erev shabbos. What?
1520
01:31:58,096 --> 01:31:59,514
Erev shabbos.
What?
1521
01:31:59,597 --> 01:32:02,767
Erev shabbos. I can't drive.
Man!
1522
01:32:02,851 --> 01:32:05,478
I'm not even supposed to pick up the
phone unless it's an emergency.
1523
01:32:05,562 --> 01:32:08,940
This is a fucking emergency!
I understand.
1524
01:32:09,024 --> 01:32:10,608
That's why I picked up
the phone.
1525
01:32:10,692 --> 01:32:13,987
Walter, you fuck.
We gotta go to Pasadena, man.
1526
01:32:14,070 --> 01:32:16,322
Come pick me up or I'm off
the fucking bowling team.
1527
01:32:31,963 --> 01:32:34,424
Get out of that
fucking car, man!
1528
01:32:35,717 --> 01:32:37,761
Get out of that fucking car!
1529
01:32:37,844 --> 01:32:40,138
Get the fuck
out of the car, man.
1530
01:32:42,140 --> 01:32:44,142
Get out of the fucking...
1531
01:32:44,726 --> 01:32:46,561
Who the fuck are you, man?
Easy, man!
1532
01:32:46,644 --> 01:32:48,021
Relax, man.
1533
01:32:49,105 --> 01:32:50,774
No physical harm intended.
1534
01:32:50,857 --> 01:32:53,568
Who the fuck are you? Why
you following me around?
1535
01:32:53,693 --> 01:32:56,863
Come on, fuckhead! Relax, man.
I'm a brother shamus.
1536
01:32:57,864 --> 01:32:59,407
Miner
1537
01:33:01,159 --> 01:33:02,827
Like an Irish monk?
1538
01:33:02,911 --> 01:33:04,788
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1539
01:33:04,871 --> 01:33:08,833
My name is Da Fino. I'm a
private snoop, like you, man.
1540
01:33:10,126 --> 01:33:12,170
What?
A dick, man.
1541
01:33:12,253 --> 01:33:15,381
And let me tell you something,
I dig your work.
1542
01:33:15,465 --> 01:33:18,426
Playing one side against the
other, in bed with everybody.
1543
01:33:18,510 --> 01:33:20,887
Fabulous stuff, man.
I'm not...
1544
01:33:20,970 --> 01:33:23,890
Fuck it, man. Just stay away
from my fucking lady friend.
1545
01:33:23,973 --> 01:33:26,518
Hey, I'm not messing
with your special lady.
1546
01:33:26,601 --> 01:33:29,104
She's not my special lady.
She's my fucking lady friend.
1547
01:33:29,229 --> 01:33:31,981
I'm just helping her conceive, man!
Hey, man. I'm not...
1548
01:33:32,065 --> 01:33:34,526
Who are you working for?
Lebowski?
1549
01:33:34,609 --> 01:33:36,027
Jackie Treehorn?
1550
01:33:37,862 --> 01:33:39,364
The Kneutsons.
1551
01:33:40,740 --> 01:33:43,368
Who the fuck are
the Kneutsons?
1552
01:33:43,451 --> 01:33:47,038
The Kneutsons, it's a
wandering daughter job.
1553
01:33:48,414 --> 01:33:50,959
Bunny Lebowski, man.
1554
01:33:51,042 --> 01:33:53,837
Her real name
is Fawn Kneutson.
1555
01:33:53,920 --> 01:33:55,880
Her parents
want her back, see?
1556
01:33:57,048 --> 01:33:59,008
Jesus fucking Christ.
1557
01:33:59,092 --> 01:34:02,011
Crazy, huh?
Ran away about a year ago.
1558
01:34:02,095 --> 01:34:05,807
The Kneutsons told me I should
show her this when I found her.
1559
01:34:05,890 --> 01:34:09,435
It's the family farm. It's
outside Moorhead, Minnesota.
1560
01:34:09,561 --> 01:34:12,647
They think it'll make her homesick.
Oh, boy.
1561
01:34:12,730 --> 01:34:14,357
How are you gonna keep them
down on the farm
1562
01:34:14,440 --> 01:34:16,401
once they've seen
Karl Hungus?
1563
01:34:17,026 --> 01:34:19,529
She's been kidnapped, DaFWm.
Oh,man.
1564
01:34:19,612 --> 01:34:20,822
Or I don't know.
Maybe not.
1565
01:34:20,905 --> 01:34:22,490
But she's definitely
not around.
1566
01:34:22,574 --> 01:34:26,494
Hey, maybe you and me
could pool our resources,
1567
01:34:26,911 --> 01:34:28,746
trade information.
1568
01:34:28,872 --> 01:34:30,665
Professional courtesy?
1569
01:34:31,249 --> 01:34:32,333
Compeers.
You know what I mean?
1570
01:34:32,417 --> 01:34:34,961
Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Fuck off, Da Fino.
1571
01:34:35,044 --> 01:34:37,172
And stay away
from my special...
1572
01:34:37,255 --> 01:34:40,175
From my fucking
lady friend, man!
1573
01:34:42,760 --> 01:34:44,679
The lingonberry pancake.
1574
01:34:49,184 --> 01:34:51,311
Lingonberry pancakes.
1575
01:34:54,939 --> 01:34:56,774
Three pigs in blanket.
1576
01:35:02,780 --> 01:35:04,657
She has
lingonberry pancakes.
1577
01:35:13,416 --> 01:35:16,711
I mean, we totally fucked it up, man.
We fucked up his payoff.
1578
01:35:16,794 --> 01:35:19,005
We got the kidnappers
all pissed off.
1579
01:35:19,088 --> 01:35:21,341
And Lebowski, you know,
he yelled at me a lot,
1580
01:35:21,424 --> 01:35:23,551
but he didn't do
anything, huh?
1581
01:35:23,676 --> 01:35:25,887
Well, sometimes it's a cathartic...
No, no.
1582
01:35:25,970 --> 01:35:28,264
I'm saying that
if he knows I'm a fuckup,
1583
01:35:28,348 --> 01:35:30,725
why does he leave me in charge
of getting his wife back?
1584
01:35:30,808 --> 01:35:34,145
Because he doesn't
fucking want her back, man.
1585
01:35:34,229 --> 01:35:37,398
He's had enough. He no longer digs her.
It's all a show.
1586
01:35:37,482 --> 01:35:41,903
Okay, but then why doesn't he give
a shit about his million bucks?
1587
01:35:41,986 --> 01:35:44,656
I mean, he knows we never
handed off his briefcase,
1588
01:35:44,822 --> 01:35:46,824
but he
never asked for it back.
1589
01:35:46,908 --> 01:35:49,994
The million bucks
was never in the briefcase.
1590
01:35:50,662 --> 01:35:53,706
The briefcase was
fucking empty, man.
1591
01:35:53,790 --> 01:35:56,459
The asshole was hoping
that they would kill her.
1592
01:35:56,542 --> 01:35:59,087
You threw out a ringer
for a ringer.
1593
01:35:59,170 --> 01:36:02,924
Okay, but how does all this
add up to an emergency?
1594
01:36:03,007 --> 01:36:07,220
I'm saying, I see what you're getting
at, Dude. He kept the money.
1595
01:36:07,303 --> 01:36:09,138
My point is...
1596
01:36:09,222 --> 01:36:12,433
Here we are, it's shabbos,
the Sabbath,
1597
01:36:12,517 --> 01:36:16,562
which I'm allowed to break only if
it's a matter of life or death.
1598
01:36:16,646 --> 01:36:19,983
VVill you come off it, Walter?
You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
1599
01:36:20,066 --> 01:36:21,734
What the fuck are
you talking about?
1600
01:36:21,818 --> 01:36:23,194
Man, you're fucking
Polish Catholic!
1601
01:36:23,278 --> 01:36:24,904
What the fuck
are you talking about?
1602
01:36:24,988 --> 01:36:27,115
I converted when I married Cynthia.
Come on, Dude.
1603
01:36:27,198 --> 01:36:29,200
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know this.
1604
01:36:29,284 --> 01:36:31,536
And five fucking years ago,
you were divorced.
1605
01:36:31,619 --> 01:36:33,121
So what are you saying?
When you get divorced,
1606
01:36:33,204 --> 01:36:35,331
you turn in your library card?
You get a new license?
1607
01:36:35,415 --> 01:36:38,501
You stop being Jewish?
This is the driveway.
1608
01:36:38,584 --> 01:36:40,628
Jewish as fucking Tevye.
Man.
1609
01:36:40,712 --> 01:36:44,966
You know, it's all a part
of your sick Cynthia thing.
1610
01:36:45,049 --> 01:36:48,970
Man, taking care of her fucking dog,
going to her fucking synagogue.
1611
01:36:49,053 --> 01:36:50,888
You're living in
the fucking past.
1612
01:36:50,972 --> 01:36:54,309
Three thousand years of beautiful
tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax.
1613
01:36:54,392 --> 01:36:57,353
You're goddamn right I'm
living in the fucking past!
1614
01:36:57,437 --> 01:36:59,564
I've... Jesus.
1615
01:37:00,815 --> 01:37:02,734
What the hell happened?
1616
01:37:03,651 --> 01:37:06,487
So viva Las Vegas
1617
01:37:07,905 --> 01:37:10,825
Viva Las Vegas
1618
01:37:15,747 --> 01:37:17,749
Let's go. Fuck it.
1619
01:37:22,086 --> 01:37:23,504
Where was she, man?
1620
01:37:23,588 --> 01:37:25,590
Visiting friends of hers
in Palm Springs.
1621
01:37:25,673 --> 01:37:28,092
She just picked up and left,
never bothered to tell us.
1622
01:37:28,176 --> 01:37:30,678
Well,I guess the fucking
nihilists knew where she was.
1623
01:37:30,762 --> 01:37:32,930
Jesus, Dude. She never
even kidnapped herself.
1624
01:37:33,056 --> 01:37:36,392
Who is this gentleman, Dude? Who am I?
I'm a fucking veteran.
1625
01:37:36,476 --> 01:37:37,685
Come on!
That's who I am.
1626
01:37:37,769 --> 01:37:40,313
You shouldn't go in there, Dude.
He's very angry.
1627
01:37:42,648 --> 01:37:44,025
So, man.
1628
01:37:44,108 --> 01:37:47,904
So? She's back,
no thanks to you.
1629
01:37:47,987 --> 01:37:50,365
Where's the fucking money,
Lebowski?
1630
01:37:50,448 --> 01:37:53,785
A million bucks from fucking,
needy, little Urban Achievers!
1631
01:37:53,868 --> 01:37:55,370
You are scum, man!
1632
01:37:55,453 --> 01:37:57,705
Who the hell is he?
Who am I? Who am I?
1633
01:37:57,789 --> 01:37:59,374
Walter. I'm the guy that's
gonna kick your phony,
1634
01:37:59,457 --> 01:38:00,792
gold-bricking ass, that's who I am.
Man.
1635
01:38:00,875 --> 01:38:02,710
We know the briefcase
was fucking empty.
1636
01:38:02,794 --> 01:38:04,837
We know you kept the million
bucks for yourself.
1637
01:38:04,921 --> 01:38:06,506
You have your story,
I have mine.
1638
01:38:06,589 --> 01:38:09,884
I say I entrusted the money
to you and you stole it.
1639
01:38:09,967 --> 01:38:13,179
As if we would ever dream of
taking your bullshit money!
1640
01:38:13,262 --> 01:38:15,473
You thought that Bunny
had been kidnapped,
1641
01:38:15,556 --> 01:38:17,141
and you were
fucking glad, man.
1642
01:38:17,225 --> 01:38:19,477
You could use it as an excuse
to make some money disappear.
1643
01:38:19,560 --> 01:38:22,855
All you needed was a sap to pin it on.
You just met me.
1644
01:38:22,939 --> 01:38:25,858
You... You human paraquat.
1645
01:38:25,942 --> 01:38:29,404
You figured, "Oh, here's a
loser, you know, a deadbeat.
1646
01:38:29,487 --> 01:38:32,073
"Somebody this square community
won't give a shit about."
1647
01:38:32,156 --> 01:38:33,741
Well, aren't you?
1648
01:38:34,992 --> 01:38:38,746
Well, yeah, but...
Get out, both of you.
1649
01:38:38,830 --> 01:38:42,083
Look at that fucking phony, Dude,
pretending to be a fucking millionaire.
1650
01:38:42,166 --> 01:38:44,460
Out of this house now,
you bums!
1651
01:38:44,544 --> 01:38:46,129
Let me tell you
something else.
1652
01:38:46,212 --> 01:38:49,966
I've seen a lot of spinals,
Dude, and this guy's a fake.
1653
01:38:50,675 --> 01:38:53,845
A fucking gold-bricker.
Stay away from me, mister!
1654
01:38:53,928 --> 01:38:55,596
This guy fucking walks.
1655
01:38:55,680 --> 01:38:58,015
I've never been more certain
of anything in my life.
1656
01:38:58,099 --> 01:38:59,267
You stay away from me!
1657
01:38:59,350 --> 01:39:01,769
Walter, for Christ's sake,
man! He's a cripple.
1658
01:39:01,853 --> 01:39:03,563
I said! Get away from me!
Come on. Come on.
1659
01:39:03,729 --> 01:39:07,191
Walter, put him down, man!
1660
01:39:07,275 --> 01:39:10,945
Yeah, I'll put him down, Dude.
Walk! Achtung, baby!
1661
01:39:28,212 --> 01:39:31,340
Come on, man. Help me
put him back in his chair.
1662
01:39:35,261 --> 01:39:37,263
At least they had the
fucking decency to tell us
1663
01:39:37,346 --> 01:39:39,724
that we were fighting
the communists.
1664
01:39:42,226 --> 01:39:45,646
Whereas this whole fucking
thing, this whole fucking thing
1665
01:39:45,730 --> 01:39:48,566
is nothing about nothing,
about oil,
1666
01:39:48,649 --> 01:39:50,985
which is what I personally
hear, Dude.
1667
01:39:51,068 --> 01:39:53,362
Sure you'll see
some tank battles,
1668
01:39:53,446 --> 01:39:56,991
but fighting in desert is very different
from fighting in canopyjungle.
1669
01:39:58,075 --> 01:40:01,496
I mean, Nam was a foot soldier's
war, whereas this thing should...
1670
01:40:02,455 --> 01:40:04,707
You know, should be
a piece of cake.
1671
01:40:04,790 --> 01:40:08,211
I mean, I had an M16, Jacko,
not an Abrams fucking tank.
1672
01:40:08,336 --> 01:40:11,714
Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball.
Yeah.
1673
01:40:11,797 --> 01:40:14,133
That's fucking combat.
1674
01:40:14,217 --> 01:40:17,094
The man in the black
pajamas, Dude.
1675
01:40:17,178 --> 01:40:19,055
Worthy fucking adversary.
1676
01:40:19,138 --> 01:40:22,558
Who's in pajamas, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
1677
01:40:22,642 --> 01:40:24,852
Whereas what we have here,
1678
01:40:24,936 --> 01:40:27,104
a bunch of fig eaters wearing
towels on their head,
1679
01:40:27,188 --> 01:40:29,357
trying to find reverse
on a Soviet tank.
1680
01:40:30,233 --> 01:40:32,401
- This is not a worthy fucking adversary.
- Hey!
1681
01:40:32,485 --> 01:40:34,529
What's this
day-of-rest shit?
1682
01:40:34,612 --> 01:40:36,197
What's this bullshit?
1683
01:40:36,280 --> 01:40:39,325
I don't fucking care!
It don't matter to Jesus.
1684
01:40:39,408 --> 01:40:40,868
But you not fooling me,
man.
1685
01:40:40,952 --> 01:40:43,663
You might fool the fucks
in the league office
1686
01:40:43,746 --> 01:40:46,040
but you don't fool Jesus.
1687
01:40:46,207 --> 01:40:48,918
It's Bush league
psych-out stuff.
1688
01:40:49,001 --> 01:40:50,419
Laughable, man!
1689
01:40:51,587 --> 01:40:54,674
I would've fucked you
in the ass Saturday.
1690
01:40:55,424 --> 01:40:58,344
I'll fuck you in the ass
next Wednesday instead.
1691
01:40:59,804 --> 01:41:02,265
You got a date
VVednesday,baby!
1692
01:41:07,144 --> 01:41:08,312
He's cracking.
1693
01:41:08,396 --> 01:41:10,106
...the whole concept of age.
1694
01:41:10,189 --> 01:41:12,400
I mean, many learned men
have disputed this
1695
01:41:12,483 --> 01:41:15,319
but in the 14th century,
the Rambam...
1696
01:41:25,329 --> 01:41:27,540
Well, they finally
did it.
1697
01:41:27,623 --> 01:41:29,750
They killed
my fucking car.
1698
01:41:29,834 --> 01:41:33,421
We want the money,
Lebowski.
1699
01:41:33,504 --> 01:41:36,007
Ja. Otherwise,
we kill the girl.
1700
01:41:36,090 --> 01:41:39,594
Ja- It seems you have forgotten
our little deal, Lebowski.
1701
01:41:39,677 --> 01:41:42,430
You don't have the
fucking girl, dipshit.
1702
01:41:42,513 --> 01:41:44,765
We know you never did.
1703
01:41:44,849 --> 01:41:46,434
Are these the Nazis,
Walter?
1704
01:41:46,517 --> 01:41:48,227
No, Donny.
These men are nihilists.
1705
01:41:48,311 --> 01:41:49,729
There's nothing
to be afraid of.
1706
01:41:51,397 --> 01:41:52,481
We don't care.
1707
01:41:52,565 --> 01:41:57,028
We still want the money,
Lebowski, or we fuck you up.
1708
01:41:57,111 --> 01:41:59,780
Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
Cool it, Walter.
1709
01:41:59,864 --> 01:42:03,701
No. Without a hostage,
there is no ransom.
1710
01:42:03,784 --> 01:42:07,121
That's what ransom is.
Those are the fucking rules.
1711
01:42:07,204 --> 01:42:09,540
His girlfriend
gave up her toe.
1712
01:42:09,624 --> 01:42:11,959
She thought we could
get $1 million.
1713
01:42:12,043 --> 01:42:14,545
It's not fair.
Fair?
1714
01:42:14,629 --> 01:42:18,257
V\Iho's the fucking nihilists around
here, you bunch of fucking crybabies?
1715
01:42:18,341 --> 01:42:20,718
Cool it, Walter.
Hey, look, pal.
1716
01:42:20,801 --> 01:42:22,511
There never
was any money.
1717
01:42:22,595 --> 01:42:24,722
The big Lebowski gave me
an empty briefcase,
1718
01:42:24,805 --> 01:42:26,849
so take it up with him, man.
1719
01:42:26,932 --> 01:42:29,477
And I would like
my undies back.
1720
01:42:29,560 --> 01:42:30,770
Are these guys gonna
hurt us, Walter?
1721
01:42:30,853 --> 01:42:33,314
No, Donny.
These men are cowards.
1722
01:42:33,397 --> 01:42:34,690
Okay!
1723
01:42:34,774 --> 01:42:38,319
So we takes the money you have
on you, and we calls it even.
1724
01:42:39,737 --> 01:42:41,781
Fuck you.
Hey, no. Come on, Walter.
1725
01:42:41,864 --> 01:42:43,866
Come on, we're ending
this thing cheap, man.
1726
01:42:43,949 --> 01:42:46,535
No. What's mine is mine.
No, come on, Walter.
1727
01:42:46,619 --> 01:42:48,829
No funny stuff.
All right. All right.
1728
01:42:48,913 --> 01:42:53,668
No funny stuff.
I got 4 bucks, almost 5.
1729
01:42:53,751 --> 01:42:56,337
- Igot$18.
- What's mine is mine.
1730
01:42:56,420 --> 01:42:59,548
We fuck you up, man!
We takes the money!
1731
01:43:00,091 --> 01:43:01,425
Come and get it.
1732
01:43:02,760 --> 01:43:07,014
We fuck you up! Show me
what you got, nihilists.
1733
01:43:07,098 --> 01:43:09,558
I fuck you! Walter, come on.
He's got a sword.
1734
01:43:09,642 --> 01:43:11,852
Fucking dipshit with
a nine-toed woman!
1735
01:43:11,936 --> 01:43:15,773
I fuck you! Fuck you!
I fuck you!
1736
01:43:21,946 --> 01:43:23,614
Take it easy, man.
I fuck you!
1737
01:43:23,698 --> 01:43:25,616
Take the $4.
I fuck you!
1738
01:43:29,954 --> 01:43:30,996
I fuck you!
1739
01:43:31,080 --> 01:43:32,957
I'm gonna hit you with
the fucking ball, man.
1740
01:43:37,712 --> 01:43:39,839
Hey, dickhead!
Anti-Semite.
1741
01:43:40,798 --> 01:43:43,509
I fuck you in the ass!
I fuck you in the ass!
1742
01:43:43,592 --> 01:43:46,721
I fuck you! I fuck you!
1743
01:43:46,804 --> 01:43:48,806
I fuck you! I fuck you!
1744
01:43:55,062 --> 01:43:57,022
We got a man down, Dude!
1745
01:44:00,735 --> 01:44:01,944
Oh, God. They shot him, man.
1746
01:44:02,027 --> 01:44:04,238
He's not shot. No, Dude.
Are you shot, Donny?
1747
01:44:04,363 --> 01:44:06,657
There weren't any shots fired.
Huh?
1748
01:44:06,741 --> 01:44:09,994
It's a heart attack.
Call the medics, Dude.
1749
01:44:10,536 --> 01:44:13,372
I'd go myself, but I'm pumping
blood, might pass out.
1750
01:44:13,456 --> 01:44:16,751
Rest easy, good buddy.
You're doing fine.
1751
01:44:16,834 --> 01:44:19,253
We got help choppering in.
1752
01:44:46,781 --> 01:44:48,449
Hello, gentlemen.
1753
01:44:48,532 --> 01:44:50,785
You are the bereaved?
Yeah, man.
1754
01:44:51,452 --> 01:44:54,121
Francis Donnelly,
pleased to meet you.
1755
01:44:54,205 --> 01:44:56,499
Jeff Lebowski.
Walter Sobchak.
1756
01:44:56,582 --> 01:44:58,834
The Dude actually is...
1757
01:44:59,877 --> 01:45:01,796
Excuse me?
Oh, nothing.
1758
01:45:03,631 --> 01:45:08,302
Yes. I understand you're
taking away the remains?
1759
01:45:08,385 --> 01:45:09,553
Yeah.
1760
01:45:10,304 --> 01:45:12,097
We have the urn.
1761
01:45:13,474 --> 01:45:15,684
I assume this is credit card?
1762
01:45:16,894 --> 01:45:17,978
Yeah.
1763
01:45:32,660 --> 01:45:34,078
What's this?
1764
01:45:34,829 --> 01:45:36,497
Now, that's for the urn.
1765
01:45:36,580 --> 01:45:38,582
Don't need it.
We're scattering the ashes.
1766
01:45:39,375 --> 01:45:42,002
Yes. So we were informed.
1767
01:45:42,086 --> 01:45:45,840
However, we must, of course,
transmit the remains to you
1768
01:45:45,923 --> 01:45:47,508
in a receptacle.
1769
01:45:48,759 --> 01:45:50,553
That's $180.
1770
01:45:50,886 --> 01:45:54,807
It is our most modestly
priced receptacle.
1771
01:45:55,140 --> 01:45:57,309
Well, can't we just...
$180?
1772
01:45:57,393 --> 01:45:59,395
They range up to $3,000.
1773
01:46:00,187 --> 01:46:03,315
We're... Can't we just rent
it from you, you know?
1774
01:46:03,399 --> 01:46:06,193
Sir, this is a mortuary
not a rental house.
1775
01:46:06,318 --> 01:46:08,654
V\Ie're scattering the fucking ashes!
Walter, Walter.
1776
01:46:08,737 --> 01:46:11,240
Just because we're bereaved
doesn't make us saps.
1777
01:46:11,323 --> 01:46:13,701
Sir, please lower
your voices.
1778
01:46:13,784 --> 01:46:17,872
Man, don't you have, you know,
something else we can put him in?
1779
01:46:17,955 --> 01:46:18,998
You know?
1780
01:46:19,081 --> 01:46:22,126
That is our most modestly
priced receptacle.
1781
01:46:22,418 --> 01:46:24,003
God damn it!
1782
01:46:26,130 --> 01:46:27,798
Is there a Ralph's
around here?
1783
01:46:54,825 --> 01:46:57,494
Donny was a good bowler
and a good man.
1784
01:46:58,746 --> 01:47:00,873
He was one of us.
1785
01:47:00,956 --> 01:47:04,877
He was a man who loved
the outdoors and bowling.
1786
01:47:05,002 --> 01:47:08,756
And as a surfer he explored the
beaches of Southern California
1787
01:47:08,839 --> 01:47:11,634
from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo
1788
01:47:11,717 --> 01:47:14,303
and up to Pismo.
1789
01:47:15,095 --> 01:47:16,347
He died...
1790
01:47:17,348 --> 01:47:21,435
He died as so many young men of
his generation, before his time.
1791
01:47:21,518 --> 01:47:24,688
In your wisdom, Lord,
you took him,
1792
01:47:24,813 --> 01:47:28,108
as you took so many bright,
flowering young men
1793
01:47:28,192 --> 01:47:31,028
at Khe Sanh, at Ian Doc,
1794
01:47:31,111 --> 01:47:32,863
at Hill 364.
1795
01:47:34,156 --> 01:47:36,533
These young men
gave their lives,
1796
01:47:37,117 --> 01:47:38,577
and so did Donny.
1797
01:47:40,704 --> 01:47:42,706
Donny, who loved bowling.
1798
01:47:45,751 --> 01:47:46,752
And so,
1799
01:47:48,379 --> 01:47:50,756
Theodore Donald Kerabatsos,
1800
01:47:52,049 --> 01:47:57,179
in accordance with what we think your
dying wishes might well have been,
1801
01:47:58,514 --> 01:48:01,308
we commit your final
mortal remains
1802
01:48:02,226 --> 01:48:04,603
to the bosom of
the Pacific Ocean
1803
01:48:06,063 --> 01:48:08,065
which you loved so well.
1804
01:48:10,401 --> 01:48:12,486
Good night, sweet prince.
1805
01:48:27,626 --> 01:48:29,044
Shit.
1806
01:48:30,963 --> 01:48:33,007
Oh, shit, Dude. I'm sorry.
1807
01:48:34,800 --> 01:48:37,928
Goddamn wind.
Fuck, god damn it, Walter!
1808
01:48:38,012 --> 01:48:40,305
You fucking asshole!
Shit, Dude. I'm sorry.
1809
01:48:40,389 --> 01:48:42,599
Everything's a fucking
travesty with you, man!
1810
01:48:42,683 --> 01:48:44,268
I'm sorry.
It was an accident.
1811
01:48:44,351 --> 01:48:46,854
What was that shit about Vietnam?
Dude, I'm sorry.
1812
01:48:46,937 --> 01:48:49,231
What the fuck does anything
have to do with Vietnam?
1813
01:48:49,314 --> 01:48:51,316
Dude, I'm sorry. What the
fuck are you talking about?
1814
01:48:51,400 --> 01:48:52,985
Dude, I'm sorry.
1815
01:48:55,904 --> 01:48:57,114
Fucking...
1816
01:49:04,121 --> 01:49:05,581
Fuck, Walter.
1817
01:49:07,458 --> 01:49:08,959
Come on, Dude.
1818
01:49:09,793 --> 01:49:11,462
Hey, fuck it, man.
1819
01:49:15,382 --> 01:49:17,009
Let's go bowling.
1820
01:49:40,491 --> 01:49:43,827
And when you're sittin' there
1821
01:49:44,453 --> 01:49:47,581
In your silk upholstered chair
1822
01:49:49,083 --> 01:49:53,128
Talkin' to some rich folks
that you know
1823
01:49:56,465 --> 01:49:59,301
Well, I hope you don't see me
1824
01:50:00,302 --> 01:50:03,514
In my ragged company
1825
01:50:04,306 --> 01:50:09,353
Oh, but you know
I could never be alone
1826
01:50:11,522 --> 01:50:14,525
Two oat sodas, Gary.
Right. Good luck tomorrow.
1827
01:50:14,608 --> 01:50:18,070
Yeah, thanks, man. I was
sorry to hear about Donny.
1828
01:50:18,153 --> 01:50:21,031
Oh, yeah. Well, you know,
1829
01:50:21,865 --> 01:50:25,828
sometimes you eat the bear,
and sometimes, you know...
1830
01:50:25,911 --> 01:50:27,204
Hey, man.
1831
01:50:27,996 --> 01:50:31,166
How do you do, Dude? I
wondered if I'd see you again.
1832
01:50:31,250 --> 01:50:33,293
I wouldn't miss
the semis.
1833
01:50:33,377 --> 01:50:35,003
Oh, yeah?
How's things been going?
1834
01:50:35,087 --> 01:50:38,215
Well, you know, strikes and
gutters, ups and downs.
1835
01:50:38,298 --> 01:50:41,009
Sure. I got you.
Yeah.
1836
01:50:42,553 --> 01:50:43,595
Thanks, Gary.
1837
01:50:43,679 --> 01:50:46,014
Well, take care, man.
Gotta get back.
1838
01:50:46,098 --> 01:50:49,143
Sure. Take it easy, Dude.
Oh, yeah.
1839
01:50:49,226 --> 01:50:51,311
I know that you will.
1840
01:50:51,395 --> 01:50:54,731
Yeah. Well,
the Dude abides.
1841
01:50:58,735 --> 01:50:59,945
Walter.
1842
01:51:01,655 --> 01:51:03,615
The Dude abides.
1843
01:51:07,536 --> 01:51:10,873
I don't know about you,
but I take comfort in that.
1844
01:51:12,166 --> 01:51:14,376
It's good knowing
he's out there,
1845
01:51:14,459 --> 01:51:18,547
the Dude, taking her easy
for all us sinners.
1846
01:51:21,258 --> 01:51:23,427
I sure hope
he makes the finals.
1847
01:51:25,053 --> 01:51:27,181
Well, that about does her.
1848
01:51:27,264 --> 01:51:28,765
Wraps her all up.
1849
01:51:30,350 --> 01:51:33,812
Things seem to have worked out
pretty good for the Dude and Walter.
1850
01:51:34,479 --> 01:51:37,774
And it was a pretty good
story, don't you think?
1851
01:51:38,609 --> 01:51:40,944
Made me laugh
to beat the band.
1852
01:51:41,612 --> 01:51:43,071
Parts anyway.
1853
01:51:44,615 --> 01:51:46,783
I didn't like seeing Donny go.
1854
01:51:47,910 --> 01:51:52,956
But then I happen to know that there's
a little Lebowski on the way.
1855
01:51:54,625 --> 01:51:57,961
I guess that's the way the whole
darned human comedy keeps
1856
01:51:58,503 --> 01:52:00,839
perpetuating itself
1857
01:52:00,923 --> 01:52:03,091
down through the generations.
1858
01:52:03,592 --> 01:52:07,846
Westward the wagons, across
the sands of time until we...
1859
01:52:09,056 --> 01:52:12,267
Oh, look at me.
I'm rambling again.
1860
01:52:13,644 --> 01:52:16,146
Well, I hope you folks
enjoyed yourselves.
1861
01:52:16,647 --> 01:52:18,982
Catch you later on
down the trail.
1862
01:52:20,150 --> 01:52:23,278
Say, friend, you got any more
of that good sarsaparilla?
1863
01:52:46,218 --> 01:52:50,222
Take me down, little Susie
1864
01:52:50,305 --> 01:52:52,140
Take me down
1865
01:52:55,435 --> 01:52:57,938
I know you think
you're the queen
1866
01:52:58,021 --> 01:53:00,148
Of the underground
1867
01:53:03,860 --> 01:53:08,824
Send me dead flowers
every morning
1868
01:53:12,202 --> 01:53:16,707
Send me dead flowers
by the mail
1869
01:53:20,502 --> 01:53:24,965
Send me dead flowers
to my wedding
1870
01:53:27,509 --> 01:53:34,474
And I won't forget to put
roses on your grave
1871
01:53:35,767 --> 01:53:40,105
No, I won't forget
to put roses
1872
01:53:40,188 --> 01:53:44,484
On your grave
1873
01:54:09,593 --> 01:54:14,139
Bright light city
gonna set my soul
1874
01:54:14,598 --> 01:54:18,310
Gonna set my soul on fire
1875
01:54:19,644 --> 01:54:24,775
Got a whole lot of money
that's ready to burn
1876
01:54:24,858 --> 01:54:28,487
So get those stakes up higher
1877
01:54:30,072 --> 01:54:34,826
There's a thousand pretty
women livin' out there
1878
01:54:35,577 --> 01:54:40,665
They're all livin'
devil may care
1879
01:54:40,749 --> 01:54:45,212
And I'm just a devil
with love to spare
1880
01:54:45,295 --> 01:54:49,549
So viva Las Vegas
1881
01:54:51,093 --> 01:54:55,138
Viva Las Vegas
1882
01:54:58,850 --> 01:55:03,522
Viva Las Vegas
with your neon flashing
1883
01:55:03,605 --> 01:55:06,566
And your one-arm
bandits crashing
1884
01:55:06,650 --> 01:55:10,237
All those hopes down the drain
1885
01:55:11,822 --> 01:55:16,993
Viva Las Vegas turnin'
day into nighttime
1886
01:55:17,077 --> 01:55:19,579
Night into daytime
1887
01:55:19,663 --> 01:55:21,832
If you see it once
1888
01:55:21,915 --> 01:55:28,338
You'll never be the same again
1889
01:55:30,382 --> 01:55:34,845
I'm gonna keep on
keep on runnin'
1890
01:55:34,928 --> 01:55:38,682
If it costs me
my very last dime
1891
01:55:40,183 --> 01:55:42,519
If I wind up broke
1892
01:55:42,602 --> 01:55:44,813
Well, I'll always remember
1893
01:55:44,896 --> 01:55:48,942
That I had a swingin' time
1894
01:55:50,777 --> 01:55:54,865
I'm gonna give it
everything I've got
1895
01:55:55,991 --> 01:56:00,203
Lady Luck, please
let the dice stay hot
1896
01:56:01,121 --> 01:56:05,625
Let me shoot a seven
on every shot
1897
01:56:05,709 --> 01:56:09,921
So viva Las Vegas
1898
01:56:11,465 --> 01:56:15,218
Viva Las Vegas
1899
01:56:16,595 --> 01:56:20,807
Viva Las Vegas
1900
01:56:21,683 --> 01:56:23,560
Viva
1901
01:56:24,561 --> 01:56:26,062
Viva
1902
01:56:27,022 --> 01:56:28,523
Viva
1903
01:56:29,608 --> 01:56:32,861
Viva
1904
01:56:34,112 --> 01:56:40,911
Las Vegas
1905
01:56:45,248 --> 01:56:48,585
Viva
140873
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