Original subtitles

-Deathbot: Artifact identified.

Saturn ring.

Property of Black Saturn.

Why did you do that?

I was analyzing it.

-I can't check with you every time

I want to crush something.

-You got my message.

-Deathbot #1: Identification - Black Saturn.

Your existence has been outlawed.

Judgment...

-[guns cock] -...death.

-Judgment overturned.

Double jeopardy.

-Deathbot #1: Conflicted bioforms detected.

-[electricity crackling] -Deathbot #2: Logic error.

-I love wrecking Deathbots!

-Remember the mission.

The watchdogs are down, Rex.

You are clear to move.

-Copy.

-Wow. I'd forgotten what a hot bod you had.

Been a while since I popped the top on this six-pack.

-You said you liked me heavier.

-Uh... what is happening?

-[metal scrapes] -[Rex grunts]

-The power cell! And it's still working!

-Right where the Robobot said it would be.

-When you find out you're dead in the future,

even a small win helps.

-Don't dwell on this reality, Lex.

Once the time machine is finished,

we'll get back home and make sure

American Ranger never becomes President.

-[slurring] Did somebody say my name?

American Ranger reporting for duty.

-I told you to stay away!

Anything you see

becomes a memory for President Ranger.

-That's where this little baby comes in.

I'm drinking so I won't remember anything.

Not to kill the shame of becoming a fascist

[crying] murdering overlord.

-[helicopter blades whirring] -Oh, my.

-Oh, no.

-What did they do to Cooch?

-They call her the "Bureaucat" now.

[shushes] Nobody move!

-No! [shudders]

-[evil laughter]

[laughter continues]

-American Ranger: No, no!

I'll never become you!

No!

-Open fire.

-[gunfire]

-You think I don't see the way

you look at that treacherous little twink?

-Rex: Run!

-[rapid beeping]

-Groaner: Oh, shit, shit, shit. Go, go, go!

-[explosion]

-Lex [narrating]: The future.

They used to say it looked bright.

They don't say that anymore.

How did this happen?

How did we get here?

The future version of Black Saturn

switched places with the Saturn of our time

to stop the rise of a murderous despot:

Gamora.

While in the future,

our Black Saturn learned that some villains were heroes,

and some heroes were villains.

The mission was successful.

The future was changed,

but something went wrong.

President Ranger now rules the future

with an iron fist.

As we traveled back from the God's Realm,

we fell through a tear in time,

and we're trapped here with him.

Now we've joined with the Freedom Fighters of this era

to find a way home

before President Ranger finds us.

-[knocking]

-Oh! Uh, coming!

What took you so long?

I was-- I've been worried you'd been captured.

-Yeah, so worried that you thought you'd grab a quick nap.

-That's how I deal with anxiety. Yes!

Hey! You got that power cell. Let's talk about that!

-If the Robobots are right,

now all we need is a plasma coupling,

and they can finish the Time Ripper,

and we can get back home.

-My people are searching for it,

but it's gonna take time.

-Well, there's no more we can do tonight.

We should rest.

Cooch, any luck finding food?

-Hell, yes!

These future rats aren't any harder

to catch than regular ones.

-Oh, that's disgusting!

-When you've been through 10 years of famine,

meat is meat.

-Yeah, but older-aged meat is objectively better

than young, vapid meat.

-Yeah, depends on what you like.

-I'll bring some to Ranger.

-Hey, shouldn't we be worried about

Cooch remembering where our hideout is?

-Cooch, where are we again?

-Oh, um...

a room full of walls?

Or a factory that makes walls.

-Yep, that's it. Great job.

-Laser wrench coming at ya!

-Have you checked the tolerances on the beta fluxers?

-Of course. 3.9 betajoules work for you?

-You know it does.

-Hey, guys. How we doing?

-Both: Amazing.

-Solving the mysteries of time travel

is easy when you have the perfect partner.

-Both: Myself.

-Finishing each other's sentences.

Are you worried that could get annoying?

-Sure, Lex.

Spending time with an exact duplicate of myself

is going to get annoying.

Okay, run along now.

-I, uh, brought you a rat.

-I'm not hungry.

And I'm certainly not rat hungry.

-Come on.

The Ranger I know

doesn't let a little adversity get him down.

-Look around, Rex.

Apparently, I'm not the Ranger you know.

I mean, how could blind nationalism

lead to fascism?

-Yeah...

Look, none of this will happen

if the Robobots' Time Ripper works

and we get home.

-So we're gambling the future of this great nation

on the Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots

playing slap and tickle with themselves back there?

-Yes, because it's our only hope.

After all, it's not like we have any other options.

-Or do we, Rex?

Or do we? -Rex: What was that?

-Nothing! I didn't say anything!

Got to learn to keep my voice down.

-[helicopter blades whirring]

-Just saying, everybody else seems to be

more than happy with one rat.

-Listen to your body.

Does it really need another rat?

-[chewing noisily] -There he goes.

-Why do you even care?

-That's my body, dude!

How the hell am I supposed to bag a babe

looking like that?

-A babe? Wait a minute.

He doesn't know?

-Know what?

-Oh, you see, in the future,

you and I-- -[knocking on door]

-Open the door!

-[groaning]

-Who is it?

-A man who is much more than he reeks.

-[exclaims]

-Johnny Rabdo?

-He's been searching for the plasma coupling.

-And I found it.

It's too bad Cooch and her deathbots found me.

[coughs]

-Stay with me, buddy!

-I go now to find out what dreams may come.

But if this works,

tell my younger self

to stay away from my Musclereen Protein Powder.

It turns out it's like 30% estrogen,

so I'm man-boobing hard.

Man-boobing hard.

[groans]

-Exhibit 38C at the Museum of Freedom?

That must be the coupling's location.

-Oh, this is it! We're going home!

We're going home!

[laughing]

-A man just died.

-But we've only now adapted the temporal shredder

to accept the power cell.

-We need this thing ready by morning.

No excuses.

-Even a genius of epic proportions

would need till noon.

-Both: It's a good thing you've--

-Got two of 'em. Yeah.

Very cute. Let's just get moving, huh?

-Both: Sure, got it. Sorry.

-We get in, get the plasma coupling,

and get out before they know we were there.

-[panting] Dad, Ranger's gone.

I found this.

-"I've decided there's only one way

"to be sure President Ranger never exists.

"It's time to take matters into my own hands.

I'm sorry."

-I think he's going to kill himself.

-Then what the hell is he apologizing for?

He just saved us all.

-The plasma coupling is too important.

We-- -Dad.

Let me handle the mission.

Go help your friend.

-Thanks, Lex.

-You hear that, people?

Moving out! Let's go!

-[imitates bugle playing]

-There you go, old girl.

I couldn't leave this mortal coil

without giving you one last goodbye.

Well...

[sniffles]

-[gun cocks]

-You know,

might as well get in a pledge of allegiance while I'm here.

Then-- then I make my noble sacrifice.

I pledge allegiance to the flag

of the United States of America,

and to the Republic for which it stands.

One nation under God,

indivisible.

Uh, with liberty,

and justice for...

ball.

Whoops! Screwed up the ending.

Let's go again!

-If we're going to stabilize the temporal tear...

-We need to oscillate the power cell at 0.38 hertz.

-No, shore up the quantum chalice.

What the-- -Oh, sorry.

I was just, you know, finishing your...

-Sentence! Totally, I get that,

but sometimes I just need to finish my thought.

-Of-- of course.

So-- so do I.

-So, let's recalibrate-- -So let's temper the emitter ray.

-Emitter ray? Are we ready for that?

-You know what? Maybe we should work in shifts.

-No, this is great.

Working together is...

great.

-Lex: This place is creepy AF.

-It is a celebration of your deaths.

-Hey! Check this out!

-Hello and welcome to the Museum of Freedom.

I am your guide, Sergeant Agony.

If I sound stilted,

it's only because I am doing this

under the threat of death.

[shouting] They deserve to know!

Fuck you!

Ow! Ah! Stop it! Stop it! Okay! I'll be good!

For the full audio tour,

please grab a headset.

-Don't mind if I do.

-Cooch, are you okay?

-Never thought I'd say it, but...

I miss that little bastard.

-Show me dem titties!

-Ranger's strong,

but not strong enough to take Rex down.

What happened?

-Nobody knows.

The first few years of Ranger's administration

were uneventful.

But then something changed.

He wasn't the same Ranger.

He was meaner.

Stronger.

-W-What?!

Sergeant Agony says

this is all that's left of the Ringler.

You left him to die in the ocean!

-There wasn't enough room for both of us

to stretch out comfortably.

Courtney made a decision.

-What the fuck dude!

Make better choices!

-Been saying that for years.

-I'm tired of you taking his side!

You married me!

-Huh? What's everyone looking at?

Agony's talking about Lex now.

Wow! You went missing

and your body was never found?

[laughs] What a boring death!

-Great, thank you very much, Saturn.

-Guys, I found it! Exhibit 38C!

-Blue Menace?

-Of course. His suit was powered

by a mini plasma generator.

Quick, let's get this to the Robobots.

-[straining] Coming right up!

-[alarm wailing]

-Oh, shit! Go!

-And Cooch, you were sent to a reconditioning camp.

That's why you're such as asshole.

-Go! -Run!

-I've re-created Lady Liberty,

the Washington Monument,

and the Liberty Bell.

Said the Lord's Prayer in English and Latin 12 times.

Guess there's no putting it off now.

You can do this, good buddy.

It's to save the love of your life,

America.

-Split up! We'll meet back at base!

Robo-Dino!

What-- what are you doing?

-I'm sorry, Lex.

The boss really wants to meet you.

-[energy charges]

-[footsteps]

-President Ranger.

-President Ranger: The prisoner?

-In the custody of my deathbots.

They are en route.

-The pieces are moving.

It won't be long now.

Prepare for glory, my Bureaucat.

-Prepare for glory.

-Ranger!

Come on, buddy!

I know you don't wanna hurt yourself.

Oh, dear God.

No! -[crows cawing]

-Ranger!

[groans]

Why did you--

Why? Why?

[sobbing]

-[screams] Who is that?!

-Ranger! -You scared the birds away!

That's the closest thing I get to a bath!

Wait, Titanium Rex!

I thought you were dead.

-Ranger, you're old.

And not the President.

-No, I'm not.

I'm a copper jockey.

I look for old refrigerators,

and strip the wiring with my teeth.

Look, I know you can't tell from looking at me,

but I've been a shell of a man

since I watched President Ranger

pull you limb from limb.

-Wait, wait, but I thought you were President Ranger.

-Brother, you have no idea.

-[muffled speech]

Unhand me this instant.

-President Ranger: You surrendered to my forces

and asked to be brought before me.

Don't you have anything to say?

-Yes, I do!

I am very disappointed in you!

Deathbots?

Forced curfews?

And was that a concentration camp

I passed back there?

-Uh, you got me.

-You leave me no choice.

You turn this ship around,

or I will jump right out of that window, mister,

and that will be the end of you.

-Do you hear me? -Be my guest.

-What-- what?!

-Lex: What?

-She's thawing out!

-Where am I?

Robo-Dino?

Who are you yelling at?

-Devizo: Lex?

Lex, is that you?

I never thought I'd hear you again.

-Devizo?

-Robo-Dino, will you leave us?

-Oh, sure, don't mind me.

Just betrayed my friends,

reunite you with your adopted daughter,

but whatever, I get it. This isn't about me.

-You know, I considered trying to find you,

but I didn't want to get drawn into some bullshit scheme,

and look! Look where I ended up.

Drawn into some bullshit scheme.

-No, please. Come to me, girl.

I need you to hear my confession.

This-- this is all my fault.

I spent a substantial amount of time

subliminally programming American Ranger

to run for President,

and after he'd settled into office,

I whispered a trigger word,

and he became my slave.

I was the most powerful man in the world.

-But then let me guess.

Your plan backfired, and you unleashed a monster?

-Oh, no, Lex.

It was much, much worse than that.

-Dr. Devizo requested a meeting.

I remember him whispering something in my ear,

leering over me, but then--

As I was crafting my monster,

another one had hatched right under my nose.

An evil I had a hand in unleashing

came back to haunt me.

-I will jump from this window,

and that will be the end of you.

I'm going to jump! Why don't you care?

-[evil laughter]

-[flesh ripping]

-Who was it?

-Isn't it obvious, dear?

It was you!

-[roars]

[chittering]

-[groans] Lex!

What-- what has happened to you?

-No, no, no!

This is another one of your head games.

President Ranger killed my friends.

I-- I've seen him.

-You know the insectoid DNA

you inherited from your mother

allows you to morph into a male version of yourself.

You'll soon learn that your subtopian genes

augment these powers.

You can assume any form.

Overpower any foe.

The power of God is yours to claim!

Let's just say you don't handle it well.

Your younger self is out there somewhere

thinking he's President Ranger.

-Oh, he knows he's not President Ranger.

He went to the President's fortress to confront him.

-What? How do you know that?

-I-- I don't know.

I just remembered it.

-Oh, you did, huh?

-Hey, we're not even ready for the relativity augmenter.

-We're running out of time!

-But we still haven't solved

the plasma coupler's energy shortage.

-[mocking] You should hear yourself.

-One plasma coupler coming up.

-Robobots: Give it, give it! -Guys!

Hey, have you guys seen Lex or Robo-Dino?

-Both: No!

-Another job well done.

-You smoke, too?

No! No way!

-The wall factory, right?

I could never remember where this place was.

Turns out I didn't have to.

-That's me?!

Why do I look like I'm in a Rhythm Nationvideo?

[sniffing] -What are you doing?!

-I'm sniffing your butt to see if it smells like mine.

[sniffing] -It pains me to think

I was once a maladjusted butt-sniffer.

-What?

You're too good to sniff butts now?

-Yes!

-Okay, everyone, back on up.

I got this one.

-No.

Leave her to me.

-[screaming]

-You fear my power now, but there was a time

when you begged me to unleash it.

Accept your punishment.

-Lex?

-Yes, I am Lex.

I thought I made that clear.

-No.

-[glass shattering] -No!

It's true.

-Look at me.

So young.

So soft.

[chittering]

-Come on, Ranger.

I'm taking you back to base.

We're getting out of here.

-Oh, I'm afraid Cooch and her deathbots

are already at your base.

After all,

what you know, I know!

-[grunting]

-You're an alley cat, goddammit.

Stop acting like a frickin' Persian bobtail.

-What are you doing?

-It's not ready. We don't have enough power.

-Don't know what you're talking about.

Let go! -You let go!

Don't make me-- -Don't make you what, huh?

Huh?!

-Isn't the future glorious, my dear?

[shouts] -[grunts]

-Unleash your true power.

Become what you were meant to be!

-[flesh ripping] -Huh?

[screams]

-Yes.

-Never!

-[screams]

-Then your friend dies.

-Not today he doesn't.

-[energy surges]

-[exclaims]

-Are you a sight for sore eyes!

I knew I'd never grow up to be a murdering despot.

-I've been living in a junkyard

and subsisting on dog excrement...

-Na, na, na! I can't hear, I can't hear you!

Na na na na na na!

-[roars]

-Go. I've got unfinished business with this one.

-But she's too powerful.

-Then I'll just have to trust

that an old friend will make sure

this never happens.

-I can't leave you!

-Agh! I can smell the excrement on his breath!

Let's go! Go! Go!

-I will never let this future happen.

-No. I have something better planned for us.

When I consume you,

look under the golden rock.

-You're insane.

-[flesh rips] -[groans]

-We'll see...

won't we?

[chitters]

-Smell my butt!

-[muffled] I'm not an animal!

-Yes, you are!

You've just forgotten it!

Now sniff that butt!

-[sniffs deeply]

That--

That wasn't half bad.

What am I doing in this monkey suit?

I'm Cooch, goddammit.

-Commence extermination. -[guns cock]

-Hell no!

I mean, no.

We form a perimeter

and wait for orders.

-We just saw you change sides.

Do you think we're stupid?

-Shut up!

[grunting]

-[laughs] Get moving, everybody!

Here we go! Go, go!

-There can be only one!

-[both grunting]

-Robobot, what are you doing?!

We need this time machine up and running now!

-I-- I'm sorry, Rex,

but my calculations prove that the power cell we have

won't push the plasma coupling.

He won't listen to me.

-Yes, because I knew we'd have...

-[mechanical whirring, hissing]

-...this.

-Your internal energy core.

But once your backup power fails, you'll--

-Shh!

There's just enough time to stabilize the time tear.

I told you we had enough power.

-Both: I'll miss you.

-[crackling]

-Let's move, team.

See you on the other side.

-You're special.

Stay that way. Mwah!

-Okay!

-Oh, why don't you just go home with him?

You love him more than me anyway!

[sobbing] Oh, God!

-Hey, hey! Look at me!

He is you!

-Yeah, before I got fat.

-Yes, and interesting.

And funny.

And sexy.

Come here!

-[kissing]

-Whoa! Wait a minute!

Are those two--? -Married? Yeah.

You're the last one to know.

-F...

...uck!

-Is he okay?

-Probably not.

He just realized that his future self

is married to the Groaner.

We should probably--

Eh, you know what? It's been a long day.

-[sighs] It sure has.

Oh, it's gonna feel nice to go to sleep

in my own bed.

Oh! God!

-Hello, Rex One.

I'm afraid you have been replaced.

-Aw, fuck me!

-[theme music plays]

-[monkey chatters] -Man: Stupid monkey.

-[paper tearing] -[monkey cry]

-[slap]

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