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1
00:00:06,267 --> 00:00:09,227
-[birds chirping]
2
00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,580
[squawks]
-[Devizo grunts]
3
00:00:10,749 --> 00:00:12,929
-[both grunt]
4
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:14,320
-[Devizo laughs]
5
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:16,152
-[both grunting]
6
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,720
-Claudette:
Here, kitty, kitty! Come get your quesadillas!
7
00:00:21,891 --> 00:00:23,461
-[growls]
8
00:00:24,807 --> 00:00:25,807
[meows]
9
00:00:28,985 --> 00:00:31,065
[shrieks]
10
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,688
-[laughs]
You can't win, Rex.
11
00:00:33,859 --> 00:00:35,379
With its polarities reversed,
12
00:00:35,557 --> 00:00:38,167
this Evo-Ray will devolve you
into primordial--
13
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:40,132
-[shrieks]
-Ow! [yelps]
14
00:00:40,301 --> 00:00:42,831
Ah! Ah! You son of a bitch!
15
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:45,699
-[shrieks]
-[screaming]
16
00:00:45,871 --> 00:00:47,571
Ah!
-[shrieks]
17
00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:51,573
-It takes a small man to attack
an innocent animal, Devizo.
18
00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:54,967
-Innocent? I think that thing
scratched my cornea! Shit!
19
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:56,802
-Don't worry, sweetie.
I've got you. -[purring]
20
00:00:56,969 --> 00:00:57,879
-Aha!
-[humming]
21
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,838
-Oh crap.
-[shrieks]
22
00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:03,886
[shrieking]
23
00:01:08,981 --> 00:01:11,811
-What happened? I--
oh, son of a bitch!
24
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,904
-You smashed my mouse!
25
00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,214
[shrieks]
26
00:01:15,379 --> 00:01:16,599
-Holy shit!
27
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:19,342
-Where am I?
What am I?
28
00:01:19,514 --> 00:01:21,084
-You are a hero.
29
00:01:21,255 --> 00:01:23,685
-What did you do
to my Cooch?
30
00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:25,816
-I didn't lay
a finger on you!
31
00:01:25,998 --> 00:01:27,568
-Cooch is the name of my cat.
32
00:01:27,739 --> 00:01:31,349
-She's not a cat anymore.
She's... something else.
33
00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:34,786
She'll come with me.
I'll help her navigate her new life
34
00:01:34,964 --> 00:01:37,364
and her new name.
-What's wrong with "Cooch"?
35
00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:40,192
-It's a vulgar nickname
for the female anatomy.
36
00:01:40,361 --> 00:01:42,411
-It's hilarious.
-No, it's not.
37
00:01:42,580 --> 00:01:45,060
-If that's my name--
-We could always change it.
38
00:01:45,235 --> 00:01:46,925
-Let's not, though.
-Agreed!
39
00:01:48,369 --> 00:01:49,809
-Fine.
40
00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:51,809
-Morland:
And that's how Titanium Rex
41
00:01:51,981 --> 00:01:53,811
came into possession
of your cat?
42
00:01:53,983 --> 00:01:56,643
-That's right.
-Then we stand to make
43
00:01:56,812 --> 00:01:59,032
a giant dick-ton of cash!
44
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:01,946
Sign here while I celebrate
with this mint julep!
45
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:06,082
[slurps] Ah! Hits the spot.
46
00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:10,566
I'll see you in court,
Titanium Rex.
47
00:02:10,739 --> 00:02:14,479
[slurps]
That's nice!
48
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:16,696
-[theme music plays]
49
00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:19,486
-[both grunting]
50
00:03:05,620 --> 00:03:07,670
-Tonight's top story:
With the League of Freedom
51
00:03:07,839 --> 00:03:09,229
teaming up
with their former foes,
52
00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,186
the few villains that remain
in Storm City
53
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:12,925
don't have a chance.
Case in point:
54
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:15,325
The Abominable Snow Mime
apprehended today
55
00:03:15,499 --> 00:03:18,719
by members of this newer,
bigger League of Freedom.
56
00:03:18,894 --> 00:03:20,204
-Look. We're just gonna,
you know,
57
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,034
take this one battle at a time.
58
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:23,422
Tonight, I'm gonna celebrate
59
00:03:23,594 --> 00:03:25,214
this "W" with my guys. Homeys?
60
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:26,819
-Ah!
-What the hell?
61
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,339
I'm cold-blooded.
Are you trying to kill me?
62
00:03:28,512 --> 00:03:29,732
-Kip: How do you feel, Cooch?
63
00:03:29,905 --> 00:03:31,985
-As a cat, I feel like
maybe a nap,
64
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,298
and then also that your
microphone might be a snake.
65
00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:36,385
-Whoo-hoo! Time to cool off
66
00:03:36,564 --> 00:03:38,574
with a post-battle
Shank Energy Drink!
67
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,570
-I see someone has
an endorsement deal.
68
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:42,922
-Nope! Just a fan!
-Oh. Well, that's sad.
69
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:44,352
-What a circus.
-[clicks]
70
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:47,358
-Ow! You got my damn cuticle!
71
00:03:47,531 --> 00:03:49,581
-Sorry, Cooch.
I can't concentrate
72
00:03:49,751 --> 00:03:52,621
while Dr. Devizo trades in
on the League's good name.
73
00:03:52,797 --> 00:03:54,277
-I thought you and Devizo
had developed
74
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:56,371
a nice "My Two Dads"
sort of thing.
75
00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:58,150
-A what?
-Sorry. I've been downloading
76
00:03:58,325 --> 00:03:59,715
mass quantities of television
77
00:03:59,891 --> 00:04:01,371
in an effort to better
understand the human--
78
00:04:01,545 --> 00:04:03,325
-Yeah, yeah, fascinating.
The point is,
79
00:04:03,504 --> 00:04:06,254
I don't trust Devizo,
and I never will.
80
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,120
-[crickets chirping]
-[silverware clinking]
81
00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:14,559
-Rex? You think after dinner,
82
00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:16,692
you could finish
trimming my nails?
83
00:04:16,865 --> 00:04:18,945
-Maybe.
-They've gotten so long,
84
00:04:19,128 --> 00:04:21,478
it's hard to eat.
-Yeah, yeah, whatever.
85
00:04:21,652 --> 00:04:24,662
-Can someone toss a few of those
chicken strips in my mouth?
86
00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:27,749
-I got you.
[sneezes loudly]
87
00:04:27,919 --> 00:04:29,399
Sorry. I've got a cold.
88
00:04:29,573 --> 00:04:31,583
Doesn't help it
when your "friends"
89
00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:35,009
dump a bucket
of ice water on your head. You still want these?
90
00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:37,018
-Yeah.
91
00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:38,969
-[chewing loudly]
92
00:04:39,148 --> 00:04:41,458
-Could you possibly chew
with your mouth closed?
93
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:44,679
-No. No, I can't.
We done here?
94
00:04:44,849 --> 00:04:46,809
-Anyone doing
anything cool next week?
95
00:04:46,982 --> 00:04:49,072
-Oh, actually, I was --
-Yeah, whatever.
96
00:04:49,245 --> 00:04:52,465
I'm going on
the Hero Complex podcast. You know, with the Oculist.
97
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:55,250
-The failed superhero
who interviews other superheroes
98
00:04:55,425 --> 00:04:58,815
he's had beef with, so he can
ask if everything's good now?
99
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:02,524
-[glass clinks]
-Ladies, gentlemen, I'd like to propose a toast.
100
00:05:02,693 --> 00:05:05,873
I never dreamed I'd have
a second chance at being a hero,
101
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:08,314
and now
I am fighting side-by-side
102
00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:10,182
with the greatest hero
of today--
103
00:05:10,353 --> 00:05:12,053
well, not today, of course,
104
00:05:12,224 --> 00:05:14,104
because the Snow Mime
was beneath you,
105
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:16,450
but, hey, to you, Rex.
106
00:05:16,620 --> 00:05:18,060
-All: Hear, hear.
107
00:05:18,230 --> 00:05:20,930
-Dad, do you have anything
you'd like to say?
108
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,803
Anything... nice?
109
00:05:22,974 --> 00:05:25,464
-You took two rolls, Devizo.
110
00:05:25,629 --> 00:05:27,849
-That means someone
isn't going to get one.
111
00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:29,983
-What are you talking about?
I took-- who didn't get a roll?
112
00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:31,675
-[doorbell chimes]
-I'll get it.
113
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:34,943
Maybe it's the roll fairy
with an extra roll.
114
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:38,558
-Balloon-a-gram for Titanium--
115
00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:41,169
-I know a process server
when I see one.
116
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,261
I've been divorced three times.
117
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:44,780
-Okay. Here you go.
118
00:05:44,953 --> 00:05:46,393
Do you mind throwing
these balloons away?
119
00:05:46,563 --> 00:05:48,743
I'm in a Honda Fit,
and I-I can't see...
120
00:05:50,437 --> 00:05:53,177
-What is it, Rex?
-I'm being sued...
121
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,363
for custody of Cooch.
122
00:05:58,227 --> 00:06:00,317
-Courtney! Stop whatever
the fuck you're doing!
123
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:03,320
The Oculist sent over a list
of questions for his podcast.
124
00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:05,503
He's gonna ask
where my name came from.
125
00:06:05,669 --> 00:06:07,669
-I don't think
I've heard that story. -That's my point!
126
00:06:07,845 --> 00:06:10,275
If the truth came out,
it could destroy me.
127
00:06:10,457 --> 00:06:11,807
-Hello.
128
00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:13,290
-You've never told anyone?
129
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:15,590
-Only my diary,
and I swore her to secrecy
130
00:06:15,766 --> 00:06:17,506
by hiding her
where no one will find her,
131
00:06:17,681 --> 00:06:19,861
in my room
at my family's mansion.
132
00:06:20,031 --> 00:06:22,861
You've got to help me
come up with a line of bullshit to feed the Oculist!
133
00:06:23,034 --> 00:06:26,344
You got it! It's story time,
motherfucker!
134
00:06:27,517 --> 00:06:29,127
-Are you Morland Stevens?
135
00:06:29,301 --> 00:06:33,701
-I am, and I appear
to have bruised my mint.
136
00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:35,401
You care to tell me
what's so important
137
00:06:35,569 --> 00:06:38,139
it was worth ruining
an entire batch of julep?
138
00:06:38,310 --> 00:06:41,790
-By what right are you suing
for custody of my cat?
139
00:06:41,966 --> 00:06:46,006
-I am merely representing
the interests of my client.
140
00:06:46,188 --> 00:06:48,018
[shouts]
Claudette, would you come in here, darling?
141
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,930
-Rex and Cooch: Claudette?
-It's time to come home, Cooch.
142
00:06:51,106 --> 00:06:54,366
-With you, so I can sleep
under a Suzuki Samurai
143
00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:57,424
and fight over scraps
with a pack of janky-ass chows?
144
00:06:57,591 --> 00:07:00,031
No thanks! I have a home!
145
00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:01,732
-With the man who stole you?
146
00:07:01,899 --> 00:07:03,599
-I will not stand here
and let you call Rex a thief.
147
00:07:03,771 --> 00:07:05,081
-[barks, growling]
-We got chows!
148
00:07:05,250 --> 00:07:06,990
Get this horrible
Chinese dog off me!
149
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:08,985
-Ah!
-Let go of him, Dust Man!
150
00:07:09,167 --> 00:07:11,387
-[dog growls]
-He must've been attracted to your musk.
151
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:13,041
[sniffs deeply]
152
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:14,645
He better get in line.
153
00:07:14,825 --> 00:07:16,825
Morland, that julep ready?
154
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:20,141
-I'm afraid
the mint has been bruised and the julep is turned!
155
00:07:20,309 --> 00:07:24,919
I wouldn't feed this to my hogs,
of which I have 12.
156
00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:27,486
-I feel like we've strayed
from the subject at hand.
157
00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:29,754
-Then let's get back
to the facts.
158
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:32,187
A pet is considered
private property,
159
00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:34,854
and when Rex absconded
with my client's cat,
160
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:38,759
he did her great emotional
and financial harm.
161
00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:42,066
Claudette has
a very strong case.
162
00:07:42,244 --> 00:07:45,124
-Of what, wandering foot?
Hey, been-- hey.
163
00:07:45,290 --> 00:07:46,730
-Robobot:
No one say another word.
164
00:07:46,901 --> 00:07:49,731
-[dramatic music playing]
165
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:52,044
-I'll be handling
the case from here.
166
00:07:52,210 --> 00:07:54,080
-Robobot, what the hell
are you doing?
167
00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:56,426
It's not what I'm doing.
It's what I did.
168
00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:59,126
I e-downloaded
the entire television catalog
169
00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:01,834
of David E. Kelley
and got my law degree online.
170
00:08:02,003 --> 00:08:04,053
-This is your lawyer?
171
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:06,832
-You're keeping up.
Good job.
172
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:10,788
-Robobot, make this go away.
-Sure. Which package do you want?
173
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:13,008
The "Boston Legal,"
"Ally McBeal," or "L.A. Law"?
174
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:14,888
-Uh, the cheapest one
you've got.
175
00:08:15,059 --> 00:08:17,109
-Yikes. "Harry's Law" it is.
176
00:08:17,279 --> 00:08:19,409
Who went 10 rounds
with that mint?
177
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,552
-Well, you look chipper.
Penny for your thoughts?
178
00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:27,161
-Ah, you're going
to make a hell of a return on that investment!
179
00:08:27,332 --> 00:08:29,332
You see, Saturn and I
recently decided to give
180
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:31,509
the whole
hero-nemesis thing another try.
181
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,035
You could say
we renewed our vows.
182
00:08:34,209 --> 00:08:36,039
-You could.
Not sure why you'd want to.
183
00:08:36,211 --> 00:08:37,911
-I'm going to uncover
his true origin
184
00:08:38,082 --> 00:08:39,522
and reveal it to the world.
185
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:42,173
You could say
it's a real nemesis wet dream.
186
00:08:42,347 --> 00:08:44,647
-Or you could just find
a different way to say things.
187
00:08:44,828 --> 00:08:47,398
-In any case,
it's time to get to work. -Then let's clock in.
188
00:08:47,570 --> 00:08:50,570
-Oh, you're coming with?
189
00:08:50,747 --> 00:08:53,527
-I just feel like
we haven't really hung out.
190
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:55,007
-Yeah, totally.
191
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,406
So should we go?
-Okay!
192
00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:01,061
Just let me pop
some cold medicine. [crunches]
193
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:04,106
-Aren't those the kind
you can only buy with an ID?
194
00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:06,022
-Yeah. That's right.
195
00:09:06,197 --> 00:09:07,627
-What's keeping Robobot?
196
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:09,458
I want to get
this lawsuit behind me,
197
00:09:09,636 --> 00:09:12,326
so we can focus on getting
Devizo out of my mansion!
198
00:09:12,508 --> 00:09:15,688
-Look. I know
this living situation is still a little uncomfortable--
199
00:09:15,859 --> 00:09:20,259
-Zipping up and peeing
a little more is uncomfortable. This is a nightmare.
200
00:09:20,429 --> 00:09:22,909
-Okay, yeah.
That does sound like a nightmare.
201
00:09:23,084 --> 00:09:25,304
What if Devizo
really has changed
202
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:26,907
and all this complaining
is for nothing?
203
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:28,918
-People don't change, Lex.
204
00:09:29,090 --> 00:09:32,050
-But you believe
that I've changed, right?
205
00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:33,313
-Lex...
206
00:09:33,485 --> 00:09:35,095
-They're so shiny!
207
00:09:35,270 --> 00:09:37,450
-I couldn't trim them
without giving them a bath!
208
00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,930
-You trimmed Cooch's nails?
209
00:09:40,101 --> 00:09:41,931
[shouts]
Who told you you could do that?
210
00:09:42,103 --> 00:09:43,583
-What did you expect me to do?
211
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:45,847
I've been asking you
to do my claws for weeks!
212
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:48,110
-I am in the middle
of a lawsuit!
213
00:09:48,283 --> 00:09:51,903
I'm sorry cat chores
aren't my number-one priority.
214
00:09:52,069 --> 00:09:53,769
-[whimpers]
215
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,941
-Lex: Oh, Cooch.
Cooch, come back. -Rex.
216
00:09:56,117 --> 00:09:58,597
-I don't want to hear it!
-I know you don't,
217
00:09:58,772 --> 00:10:01,602
even though I could help you
out of this predicament.
218
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:06,295
-I don't want your help!
-If you won't let me help, maybe I should go.
219
00:10:06,475 --> 00:10:08,605
-Where do I sign?
-Funny you should ask that.
220
00:10:08,782 --> 00:10:11,052
A franchise agreement?
221
00:10:11,219 --> 00:10:13,309
You want your own
League of Freedom?
222
00:10:13,482 --> 00:10:15,532
-I'd like you
to entertain the idea
223
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:18,842
that protecting Storm City
is more than a one-team job.
224
00:10:19,009 --> 00:10:21,969
-The League of Freedom
is my legacy,
225
00:10:22,143 --> 00:10:24,283
and it's staying here
in this mansion.
226
00:10:24,449 --> 00:10:27,929
-Then so, too, shall I...
stay in the mansion.
227
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,813
-Well, that's finished.
Turned out Claudette wanted
228
00:10:31,979 --> 00:10:34,419
a very reasonable settlement.
-Oh, thank God.
229
00:10:34,590 --> 00:10:37,200
-And I told her
she could shove it. -What? Why?
230
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,935
-Because I watched over
500 hours of courtroom drama
231
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:41,857
where the case
always goes to trial,
232
00:10:42,032 --> 00:10:44,122
and the good guys always win.
233
00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:48,465
Buckle up.
You just got front-row seats to the trial of the century!
234
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,645
-These aren't case files.
235
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,736
They're "Boston Legal" scripts.
236
00:10:58,092 --> 00:11:00,962
-Your Honor, Cooch is a cat.
237
00:11:01,138 --> 00:11:04,138
Under state law,
a cat is property.
238
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:07,095
Claudette simply wants
that property back,
239
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,225
plus lawyer's fees, damages,
emotional suffering
240
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:11,407
to the tune
of $1 million. [chuckles]
241
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:14,633
Now, I could try
to wow Your Honor with verbal gymnastics,
242
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:17,244
but that's now how
we do things down here.
243
00:11:17,415 --> 00:11:19,025
-Well-said, Mr. Steven.
244
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,730
And may I say,
this mint julep is divine.
245
00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:25,159
-Looks like Morland
has home-field advantage.
246
00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:27,896
-Hi.
-[whispers] Christ! She saw me.
247
00:11:28,078 --> 00:11:30,778
-You want to oink-oink?
248
00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:33,211
-Oh, God.
-A little of this?
249
00:11:33,388 --> 00:11:35,258
[mimics gagging]
250
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:36,573
-Okay. That's enough.
251
00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,789
-If you don't, I will.
252
00:11:38,959 --> 00:11:40,129
-Where's Robobot?
253
00:11:40,308 --> 00:11:42,958
-[dramatic music plays]
254
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:49,584
-Ladies and gentlemen--
-[dramatic music plays]
255
00:11:49,752 --> 00:11:51,622
-Sorry. Thought
I'd turned it off,
256
00:11:51,798 --> 00:11:53,408
and I just
started it over. Ladies and-- -[dramatic music]
257
00:11:53,582 --> 00:11:55,372
-Oh, sorry.
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury--
258
00:11:55,540 --> 00:11:58,150
-This is not a jury trial.
259
00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,936
Well, that seems
much less dramatic. I mean, where's my eyeline?
260
00:12:01,111 --> 00:12:02,721
-I don't care.
-Then objection.
261
00:12:02,896 --> 00:12:05,766
-The idiot's objection
is overruled.
262
00:12:05,942 --> 00:12:10,342
-I'm beginning to think
this David E. Kelley is full of shit.
263
00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:12,512
-Robo-Dino:
So, this is Saturn's old home.
264
00:12:12,688 --> 00:12:15,688
-Yep. Found the address
on an invoice for a case of Shank Energy Drink.
265
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:16,995
-Good enough for me!
It's go time!
266
00:12:17,171 --> 00:12:18,481
-Hey, hey!
What's gotten into you?
267
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,130
-Well, I'm all hopped up
on cold medicine!
268
00:12:20,304 --> 00:12:22,444
-Jancy:
What do we have here?
269
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:25,481
-You must be the Groaner.
-Yes. Yes, I am.
270
00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:27,217
Always nice to meet a fan.
271
00:12:27,398 --> 00:12:30,228
-What would that make me
a fan of, the death of comedy?
272
00:12:30,401 --> 00:12:33,011
-[sarcastic laugh]
Very cruel way to say that.
273
00:12:33,187 --> 00:12:35,277
-Is this Saturn's mom?
-Please don't remind me
274
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:38,670
that my son's a grown man
who wears a Halloween costume
275
00:12:38,845 --> 00:12:42,275
and obsesses
over an unfunny skeleton clown.
276
00:12:42,457 --> 00:12:44,547
-Not a fan. Got it.
-What do you want?
277
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:47,160
-Oh, uh, Saturn's, uh,
asked us to swing by
278
00:12:47,331 --> 00:12:51,121
and pick up his, uh,
foot mittens-- uh, socks! Shit!
279
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,562
-I'm hungover and bored.
Lock up when you're done.
280
00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:55,249
I'm off to a champagne brunch.
281
00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:57,296
-She's seen too much! [grunting]
-Will you stop that?
282
00:12:57,472 --> 00:13:00,172
-How much of that
cold medicine did you have? -All of it!
283
00:13:00,344 --> 00:13:03,914
-"In the muck, I bled,
feet trampling me.
284
00:13:04,087 --> 00:13:05,827
"I reached out to Nick Lachey,
285
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,702
"and even he turned his back.
286
00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:09,484
"As I felt my ribs break,
287
00:13:09,658 --> 00:13:12,048
"I knew that I was
no longer a civilian.
288
00:13:12,226 --> 00:13:13,836
"I was Black Saturn,
289
00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:17,490
and I was never going
to a 98 Degrees concert again."
290
00:13:17,666 --> 00:13:20,706
No! No way! What happens
if I ever meet Lachey?
291
00:13:20,887 --> 00:13:23,017
-If you're gonna be
constantly worrying about offending Nick Lachey,
292
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:25,073
you're putting me
in a tight box!
293
00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:28,459
-[crying]
This interview is going to be a complete disaster!
294
00:13:28,633 --> 00:13:31,773
-No, it's not,
because I'm not leaving until we have this cracked!
295
00:13:31,941 --> 00:13:33,731
I'm the Simpson to your Lachey.
296
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,080
-Give it a goddamn rest
with the Lachey!
297
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:39,430
-And when you saw that Cooch
had been hyper-evolved,
298
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:43,611
you offered her shelter
in that great, big mansion of yours, didn't you?
299
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:46,479
-Yes, that's right.
-And why was that?
300
00:13:46,651 --> 00:13:49,391
-She demonstrated
the qualities of a superhero,
301
00:13:49,567 --> 00:13:51,177
and that's
the business I'm in.
302
00:13:51,352 --> 00:13:53,442
-So you saw a fine filly,
303
00:13:53,615 --> 00:13:56,135
and you had to have her
for your stable?
304
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:59,453
-It wasn't like that.
She was a special cat--
305
00:13:59,621 --> 00:14:03,671
I mean, person,
and she had needs that only I could provide--
306
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:07,893
training, costuming.
-A torn shirt and some jorts?
307
00:14:08,064 --> 00:14:10,944
-She went her own way.
-When you left with Cooch,
308
00:14:11,111 --> 00:14:13,371
did you ask Claudette
for permission?
309
00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:16,248
-No, no. I-I didn't ask.
-[audience murmurs]
310
00:14:16,420 --> 00:14:18,290
-No further questions.
311
00:14:20,511 --> 00:14:22,171
-Hey, Rex.
How you feeling, buddy?
312
00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:24,859
-Great.
-Great to hear. Well, that's about all I got.
313
00:14:25,038 --> 00:14:26,778
-What are you doing?
-Come on, guys.
314
00:14:26,953 --> 00:14:28,873
We all know these things hinge
on the final surprise witness.
315
00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:30,962
We're all just
marking time here-- oh! -[dramatic music plays]
316
00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:33,831
Sorry, must've hit the button.
No further questions.
317
00:14:34,003 --> 00:14:36,013
-Oh, man.
318
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:38,619
-So, this is
Black Saturn's room.
319
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:41,580
Now, if I was a diary,
where would I-- -[clattering]
320
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,010
-[slashing]
-Holy shit!
321
00:14:43,186 --> 00:14:44,616
-Die, die, die,
die, die, die! -Hey!
322
00:14:44,796 --> 00:14:46,146
-Stabby, stabby, stabby, stabby!
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
323
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,500
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
What are you doing?
324
00:14:48,670 --> 00:14:50,500
-Whatever the pseudoephedrine
tells me to!
325
00:14:50,672 --> 00:14:53,502
[inhales deeply]
I feel great.
326
00:14:53,675 --> 00:14:55,015
-Help me put this back!
327
00:14:55,198 --> 00:14:57,068
Wait a minute.
What-- what-- what's this?
328
00:14:57,244 --> 00:14:58,814
-[dramatic music plays]
329
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:01,465
-Robo-Dino, I could kiss you!
330
00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:03,549
-Uh, yeah! Let's do it!
I'm up for anything right now!
331
00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:05,508
-Nope.
That's it. Get in the car. No. Leave your knife.
332
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,427
No. You've lost
knife privileges.
333
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:11,742
-I miss her so terribly!
I just want to bring her home!
334
00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:15,131
-Your Honor, my client
is obviously distressed.
335
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:18,395
I hope her emotional state
speaks to the court
336
00:15:18,569 --> 00:15:20,829
as much as it has spoken
to my heart.
337
00:15:21,007 --> 00:15:23,527
-[audience sighs]
-I do believe there's something in my eye.
338
00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:27,185
-Oh, God.
-The judge just gave Claudette a hug!
339
00:15:27,361 --> 00:15:29,711
Is that bad?
-[whistles, whispers] Rex.
340
00:15:29,885 --> 00:15:31,925
I'll be right behind you
when you realize you need me.
341
00:15:32,105 --> 00:15:35,195
-Ha! You think you're
the only with schemes, Devizo?
342
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:37,019
You ready?
343
00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:39,157
-Claudette, how did you come
into possession of Cooch?
344
00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:41,639
-I caught her stealing
my quesadilla one day,
345
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:45,770
and I thought it was funny,
so I kept feeding her said quesadillas.
346
00:15:45,945 --> 00:15:48,295
Probably fed her
over 100 quesadillas,
347
00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:51,859
and if that don't make her mine,
I don't know what does.
348
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,738
-Okay, dude. Showtime!
349
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:58,039
-[mutters]
Okay. All righty. Oh. Phew!
350
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:02,088
-[clatters]
-I... [gulps] dropped my pencil.
351
00:16:02,265 --> 00:16:04,565
I'll just bend over and--
352
00:16:04,746 --> 00:16:06,396
[voice breaks]
and pick it up.
353
00:16:06,574 --> 00:16:08,014
-[sultry music plays]
-And when Cooch was taken,
354
00:16:08,184 --> 00:16:09,534
did you alert the authorities?
355
00:16:09,707 --> 00:16:13,707
-Well, I-I--
-Excuse me? Is everything okay?
356
00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:15,365
-[Ranger sobs]
-[music continues]
357
00:16:15,539 --> 00:16:17,929
-Oh, it's more than okay.
358
00:16:18,107 --> 00:16:21,237
-[crying] Oh, no, no, no.
359
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,975
-Then answer the question.
Did you call the police?
360
00:16:24,157 --> 00:16:27,897
-No. No, I did not.
-You didn't miss Cooch at all,
361
00:16:28,074 --> 00:16:30,824
and you've come
out of the woodwork for the money. Isn't that right?
362
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,820
-Yes. Yes, that's right.
Whatever you say. -[audience gasps]
363
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,862
-[gavel bangs]
-Could you move a little?
364
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:37,607
-Objection, Your Honor!
-Overruled!
365
00:16:37,779 --> 00:16:39,999
-No further questions,
Your Honor. Play my song. -[dramatic music plays]
366
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:41,783
-Wait. What happened?
Do I get my money?
367
00:16:41,957 --> 00:16:43,787
-Yeah!
-We got her!
368
00:16:43,959 --> 00:16:45,439
-Oh, come on!
Are we gonna read it or not?
369
00:16:45,613 --> 00:16:47,533
-Okay, okay, okay.
Let's see here.
370
00:16:47,702 --> 00:16:49,702
-Saturn's voice:
"Dear Diary, it's the first day of school,
371
00:16:49,878 --> 00:16:52,188
"and sure enough,
every trust-fund kid I know
372
00:16:52,359 --> 00:16:54,139
"showed up
in an imported sports car.
373
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:56,227
"But since my parents hate me,
374
00:16:56,406 --> 00:16:58,576
"I had to detail cars
all summer
375
00:16:58,756 --> 00:17:02,716
"just to afford
a shitty black Saturn coupe.
376
00:17:02,891 --> 00:17:06,161
"The good news is,
if it gets hit with a shopping cart, it will be fine.
377
00:17:06,329 --> 00:17:09,769
"The bad news is I will never,
ever get laid! [sobs]
378
00:17:09,941 --> 00:17:12,511
"I must face
the symbol of my pain.
379
00:17:12,683 --> 00:17:17,383
I must become Black Saturn."
380
00:17:17,558 --> 00:17:20,868
-That's the most pathetic thing
I've ever heard.
381
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:24,090
-Oh, man.
When this ge-- gets out,
382
00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:25,960
he's gonna be destroyed!
[laughs] Oh!
383
00:17:26,132 --> 00:17:29,532
-Yeah! [laughs, groans]
384
00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,570
-You've got him
right where we want him.
385
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:34,096
She admitted this
was just a cash grab.
386
00:17:34,270 --> 00:17:37,930
We can't lose!
Wait, where'd Devizo go?
387
00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:40,620
I don't trust him.
388
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:42,838
-[whispering]
389
00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:45,538
-What the hell?
-[whispering continues]
390
00:17:45,716 --> 00:17:49,456
-That is one kind of an idea.
Thank you for your help.
391
00:17:49,633 --> 00:17:51,423
-Oh, Devizo.
392
00:17:51,592 --> 00:17:56,212
-Your Honor,
I call Cooch to the stand.
393
00:17:56,379 --> 00:17:57,819
-What you talking about?
394
00:17:59,643 --> 00:18:01,523
-I'd like to remind the court
395
00:18:01,689 --> 00:18:03,519
that this entire case hinges
396
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:06,821
on whether Cooch
is a cat or a person.
397
00:18:06,998 --> 00:18:10,218
-I'm a cat.
-Wait for the question, dear.
398
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:13,613
-I'm not a deer. I'm a cat!
399
00:18:13,788 --> 00:18:16,828
-There you have it, Your Honor,
straight from the horse's mouth.
400
00:18:17,008 --> 00:18:19,008
-I'm not a horse! I'm a cat!
401
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:22,355
-Objection! The witness
is leading the attorney! -That is not a thing.
402
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:25,966
-Cooch, just to make it clear
to everyone and for the record,
403
00:18:26,148 --> 00:18:29,978
are you a person
or are you a cat?
404
00:18:30,152 --> 00:18:33,592
-[suspenseful music plays]
405
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:38,644
-Uh, I'm... a... cat?
406
00:18:38,813 --> 00:18:41,903
-[audience gasps, murmurs]
-No further questions.
407
00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:44,297
-Looks like you guys
are gonna lose.
408
00:18:44,471 --> 00:18:46,171
-Maybe, maybe not.
409
00:18:46,342 --> 00:18:49,742
-Hey, want to do
non-courtroom stuff?
410
00:18:49,911 --> 00:18:52,701
-Remember me,
but not for this.
411
00:18:52,870 --> 00:18:54,790
[sobbing]
412
00:18:58,267 --> 00:18:59,917
-Son of a bitch!
-Ah!
413
00:19:00,095 --> 00:19:01,525
-What did you say to Morland?
414
00:19:01,705 --> 00:19:03,965
Did you tell him
to call Cooch to the stand?
415
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,453
-Of course I did.
I felt the need to prove to you
416
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:08,543
that you can't always do
everything yourself.
417
00:19:08,712 --> 00:19:10,762
-What?
-It's not that hard to figure out.
418
00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:14,412
In fact, I calculate that your
robot will put it all together
419
00:19:14,588 --> 00:19:18,678
in three, two, one.
-[dramatic music plays]
420
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:21,596
[music stops]
421
00:19:21,769 --> 00:19:23,469
-Wow. I thought it was obvious.
422
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,640
Um... [clears throat]
Your Honor,
423
00:19:25,816 --> 00:19:28,686
I'm afraid we have a mistrial!
424
00:19:28,863 --> 00:19:32,563
-Oh, really?
-This case is being tried under property law
425
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:35,086
based on the supposition
that Cooch is a cat,
426
00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:38,091
therefore a pet,
therefore property. Is that right?
427
00:19:38,264 --> 00:19:42,964
-It is.
-Yet we all witnessed Mr. Stevens call Cooch
428
00:19:43,138 --> 00:19:46,578
to give testimony,
testimony that you allowed into the record.
429
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:50,800
A cat cannot give
legal testimony, Your Honor.
430
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:53,582
Property cannot take
the stand, can it?
431
00:19:53,757 --> 00:19:56,327
When you allowed Cooch
to be called as witness,
432
00:19:56,499 --> 00:19:58,939
you acknowledged her personhood
in the eyes of the law!
433
00:19:59,110 --> 00:20:01,030
By the court's own logic,
you have no choice
434
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,030
but to dismiss this case!
435
00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:05,292
-[audience gasps, cheers]
-[Devizo laughs]
436
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:08,765
-[gavel bangs]
-David E. Kelley is about to pop a boner in his grave.
437
00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:12,426
-I think he's still alive.
-Let me have my moment, please!
438
00:20:12,602 --> 00:20:15,522
Morland, I think this is where
you're overcome with rage and take a swing at me.
439
00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,832
-Robobot, you're not
in a television show!
440
00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:21,179
Oh, wait. Here it comes.
-[shouts, grunts]
441
00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:25,094
-[audience gasps, cheers]
442
00:20:25,267 --> 00:20:27,657
-Hoo. Uh, what did I miss?
443
00:20:27,835 --> 00:20:29,965
-Robobot just won the case!
444
00:20:30,141 --> 00:20:32,581
You don't have
to go ham on Claudette!
445
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:35,583
-Oh, you told me just in time.
446
00:20:35,756 --> 00:20:38,666
[sobs]
447
00:20:38,846 --> 00:20:41,456
-And with my ninja master's
last dying breath,
448
00:20:41,631 --> 00:20:43,761
he said to me,
"You were the chosen one.
449
00:20:43,938 --> 00:20:45,978
"Carry the Saturn name
into the blackness.
450
00:20:46,157 --> 00:20:48,547
Become Black Saturn."
451
00:20:48,725 --> 00:20:50,945
-Wow. I-- I hope
everyone listening right now
452
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:55,249
is just, like, taking this in,
because this guy, he's dark.
453
00:20:55,428 --> 00:20:58,908
-He did it!
-I wouldn't make reservations at Red Lobster just yet.
454
00:20:59,083 --> 00:21:01,483
-Oculist: You, Groaner,
you guys still have beef?
455
00:21:01,651 --> 00:21:07,091
-Oh, yeah, big-time.
It's funny because the Ringler really wants his own nemesis.
456
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:10,136
-Sidekicks always want
their own thing.
457
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:11,972
-But I tell him
he doesn't need one.
458
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:15,620
The Groaner is iconic,
a once-in-a-lifetime villain.
459
00:21:15,796 --> 00:21:17,276
-You got enough beef
for the both of you.
460
00:21:17,450 --> 00:21:19,930
-That's right!
Why would you need anyone else?
461
00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:25,201
-[sighs]
He's wrong, you know?
462
00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:28,421
-What do you mean?
-I don't think I have what it takes
463
00:21:28,591 --> 00:21:30,551
to be Saturn's nemesis.
464
00:21:33,509 --> 00:21:38,079
-Okay. Before we leave,
I just have to ask you. We good?
465
00:21:38,253 --> 00:21:41,563
-I can't believe
I almost lost you.
466
00:21:41,735 --> 00:21:44,085
I'm sorry
I took you for granted.
467
00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:47,999
-We can call it even,
but only if I get to do whatever I want at all times!
468
00:21:48,176 --> 00:21:52,876
-That's just what you do now.
-Hey, I guess it is. See ya!
469
00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:54,700
-Dad. [mumbles]
470
00:21:54,878 --> 00:21:58,358
-[sighs] Devizo,
this is hard for me to say,
471
00:21:58,534 --> 00:22:01,064
but, uh... [clears throat]
thank you.
472
00:22:01,232 --> 00:22:03,452
-Don't mention it, Rex.
Good night.
473
00:22:03,626 --> 00:22:06,536
-Wait, wait. Y-You really
proved me wrong back there.
474
00:22:06,716 --> 00:22:11,236
If you want your own
League of Freedom, it's yours.
475
00:22:11,417 --> 00:22:14,587
It's the least I can do
for someone who kept my team together...
476
00:22:14,768 --> 00:22:16,808
and saved my life.
477
00:22:16,987 --> 00:22:19,247
-Well, thank you, Rex.
478
00:22:19,425 --> 00:22:21,725
-See? That wasn't so bad.
Good job, Dad.
479
00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:26,260
-And now, that which you love
the most in the world...
480
00:22:26,432 --> 00:22:28,872
-[dramatic music plays]
-...is mine.
481
00:22:29,043 --> 00:22:30,743
-[theme music playing]
482
00:22:47,975 --> 00:22:49,845
-[monkey chatters]
-Man: Stupid Monkey.
483
00:22:50,020 --> 00:22:51,200
-[paper tearing]
-[monkey cry]
484
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:52,280
-[slap]
485
00:22:52,330 --> 00:22:56,880
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