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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:13,034 --> 00:02:15,402 - Good morning. - Good morning! 2 00:02:34,654 --> 00:02:35,723 I love you. 3 00:02:48,635 --> 00:02:49,669 Jasper! 4 00:02:58,746 --> 00:02:59,914 Hey! 5 00:03:02,884 --> 00:03:04,417 Fuck! Whoa. Whoa. 6 00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:06,653 - Oh, my god. - What's your problem? Dad? 7 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:07,788 Oh! 8 00:03:07,822 --> 00:03:09,757 Ah! Hey, Hannah. 9 00:03:10,925 --> 00:03:12,425 How's it going, Jasper? 10 00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:17,899 Is it okay? Because it... 11 00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,433 Smells like you've burned something. 12 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,408 So Hannah, is this, um... 13 00:03:29,609 --> 00:03:31,611 Is this part of... 14 00:03:31,645 --> 00:03:33,214 - The gay thing? - Dad! 15 00:03:33,247 --> 00:03:35,216 No, I'm just saying if it is, I'm cool. 16 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,584 - It's not part of it. - Whoa, whoa! Whoa! 17 00:03:37,617 --> 00:03:40,154 Whoa, I think it's totally a part of the gay thing. 18 00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:41,856 I mean this is who I am now, man. 19 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,623 I'm like totally a nudist. 20 00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:44,992 Oh. 21 00:03:45,026 --> 00:03:46,693 Okay. 22 00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:50,064 You girls are so brave. 23 00:03:51,933 --> 00:03:53,633 - I'm sorry. - No, you're not. 24 00:03:54,135 --> 00:03:55,836 If you were, you wouldn't have done it. 25 00:03:55,870 --> 00:03:58,005 If I hadn't, I'd have nothing be sorry about it. 26 00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:01,474 - And besides, your dad loves me. - Yeah, dude, but that's my dad. 27 00:04:01,508 --> 00:04:03,543 You're embarrassing. 28 00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:05,012 Okay, I guess. 29 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,617 Okay, I'm sorry. All right? You were right. 30 00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:12,485 That was stupid of me, 31 00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:15,189 and I didn't mean to mess anything up, okay? I'm sorry. 32 00:04:29,136 --> 00:04:30,171 Look, I'm sorry. 33 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:32,807 I'm sorry. 34 00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:35,876 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 35 00:04:35,910 --> 00:04:38,245 It's okay, thank you. 36 00:04:39,981 --> 00:04:41,716 I just need to get out of that house. 37 00:04:41,749 --> 00:04:44,251 My dad is too much of a risk, apparently. 38 00:04:44,285 --> 00:04:45,518 Apparently. 39 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,857 If only I had someone I could split an apartment with. 40 00:04:50,424 --> 00:04:53,027 The risk doesn't really outweigh the sweet hookup that you have. 41 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:56,097 He doesn't make you pay rent and he buys all your groceries. 42 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,866 - He loves the homosexual youth. - He's too much. 43 00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,935 The other day he genuinely asked me 44 00:05:00,968 --> 00:05:02,635 if he should exclusively buy me pants now. 45 00:05:02,669 --> 00:05:04,571 He buys you pants. 46 00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:06,974 Dude, he's been so supportive since you came out last year. 47 00:05:07,008 --> 00:05:09,143 I just need to finally move out. 48 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:11,312 I'm 22 years old, I'm not a child anymore. 49 00:05:11,345 --> 00:05:15,582 Whoa, whoa, 22 absolutely still constitutes as being a child. 50 00:05:17,151 --> 00:05:18,786 Why you gonna do that? 51 00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,287 Do what? 52 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:23,290 We're children. We are children that crave sweet, 53 00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:25,793 sweet parent juice, man. 54 00:05:30,197 --> 00:05:31,631 Hey! 55 00:05:33,034 --> 00:05:34,702 Those kids owe me money. 56 00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,237 You owe me 40 bucks, dude! 57 00:05:59,293 --> 00:06:00,795 You're not eating breakfast? 58 00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:16,744 Hey! 59 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:17,845 Sorry sch-Megan. 60 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,246 Mom, he called me sch-Megan. 61 00:06:19,280 --> 00:06:21,115 Don't call your sister sch-Megan. 62 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,350 It's like schmegma and Megan. 63 00:06:24,919 --> 00:06:26,686 What the fuck is schmegma? 64 00:06:27,922 --> 00:06:30,291 Jesus Christ, you're not eating breakfast! 65 00:06:34,962 --> 00:06:36,397 Nicky, what...? 66 00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:38,165 Mom, I gotta go. 67 00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:39,967 I can't remember the last time 68 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,969 she didn't say "fuck" in a sentence. 69 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:43,704 You have to eat. 70 00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,073 Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. 71 00:06:49,210 --> 00:06:51,412 What are you guys doing here? 72 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:52,722 I thought I was picking you guys up. 73 00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:53,848 Grab his leg! 74 00:06:53,881 --> 00:06:55,316 Ma'am. 75 00:06:55,349 --> 00:06:56,917 - Hi, Hannah. - Grab his leg, Hannah! 76 00:06:59,320 --> 00:07:02,089 What the fuck you doing acting like that? 77 00:07:02,123 --> 00:07:04,792 Throwing each other around like a bunch of fucking loony tunes. 78 00:07:04,825 --> 00:07:06,393 Sorry about that Mrs. Nick's mom. 79 00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:08,863 It's been but a score since I've seen your son last, 80 00:07:08,896 --> 00:07:12,665 and I thought, he looks like he could use a good ass-kicking. 81 00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,370 Are you gonna take this breakfast 82 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:18,105 that I made for you or not? 83 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:29,316 Congratulations, your first student loan bill came in. 84 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,130 Why are you giving this to me right now? 85 00:07:33,154 --> 00:07:34,855 I'm literally about to leave. 86 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,426 Why do you always do this kind of sh... 87 00:07:40,461 --> 00:07:41,729 Thing. 88 00:07:42,229 --> 00:07:43,964 Always taking the most dramatic option. 89 00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:45,833 I'm literally on my way out the door 90 00:07:45,866 --> 00:07:47,944 and you hand me a problem that I can't manage right now. 91 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,905 - What's your problem? - Nick, that was the deal. 92 00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:54,241 What was the deal? The one where you do this weird manipulative, 93 00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:57,845 keep me on your leash-type shit? I'm literally leaving right now. 94 00:07:57,878 --> 00:07:59,122 I don't have this kind of money. 95 00:07:59,146 --> 00:08:01,091 You're the one who wanted me to go to school in the first place. 96 00:08:01,115 --> 00:08:02,383 Are you kidding me? 97 00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,487 When are you all back? 98 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,390 A week. We're staying at my family's beach house. 99 00:08:10,191 --> 00:08:11,358 Oh. 100 00:08:11,392 --> 00:08:13,194 Must be nice. 101 00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,397 Well, it was really great seeing you Mrs. N. 102 00:08:26,941 --> 00:08:27,975 I love you. 103 00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,009 What was that? 104 00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:33,847 I don't think I heard you right. 105 00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:36,350 - Mom, I'm 23. - You're still living at home. 106 00:08:36,383 --> 00:08:37,818 - I just got back. - Nick! 107 00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,422 I love you! 108 00:08:50,564 --> 00:08:53,467 - Problems? - No, mom. 109 00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:11,785 So, what? Guess you can't go now, right? 110 00:09:14,989 --> 00:09:16,566 Do you want me to see if I can borrow my dad's car? 111 00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:18,025 The dadillac? 112 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:43,017 I can't believe he salvaged this after the incident. 113 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:45,519 No, no, we are not talking about the incident. 114 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:47,354 But what we are going to talk about 115 00:09:47,388 --> 00:09:49,523 is how you look like you were about to cry back there. 116 00:09:49,556 --> 00:09:51,458 Me? No, I was caught up in the moment. 117 00:09:51,492 --> 00:09:53,994 Even the world's greatest singers get caught up. 118 00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,863 You think Gandhi's ass didn't stutter? 119 00:09:55,896 --> 00:09:57,831 Look, guys, the last time that I saw my parents 120 00:09:57,865 --> 00:09:59,500 they were blowing coke off a machete 121 00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:01,435 and about to take down the cartel. 122 00:10:01,902 --> 00:10:03,237 And they were gone. 123 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,205 What? 124 00:10:05,239 --> 00:10:08,208 Your mom messaged me on Facebook, 125 00:10:08,242 --> 00:10:10,878 like two weeks ago about graduation. 126 00:10:11,746 --> 00:10:14,181 Okay, what I'm trying to say is that I would rather believe 127 00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,216 that my parents are jungle warlords instead of 128 00:10:16,250 --> 00:10:18,986 spiteful homophobes who kicked me out when I was 16. 129 00:10:19,353 --> 00:10:21,288 And hey, Nick, do me a favor. 130 00:10:21,622 --> 00:10:23,390 Could you delete my mom on Facebook? 131 00:10:23,424 --> 00:10:24,601 - 'Cause that'd be great. - Okay. 132 00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,893 Thank you. 133 00:10:26,527 --> 00:10:28,462 Look, I guess what I'm trying to say 134 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,197 is that at least your dad supports you, 135 00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:32,333 and at least your mom is getting your lazy ass 136 00:10:32,366 --> 00:10:33,610 out of the house, and at now you're chasing it. 137 00:10:33,634 --> 00:10:36,337 Out there chasing that pussy, yo. 138 00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,572 - There he is, everyone. - That counts! 139 00:10:38,605 --> 00:10:39,973 Does not! 140 00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:43,143 Yo, so what's changed at the beach house? 141 00:10:43,812 --> 00:10:45,579 I don't know, I haven't gone up there 142 00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:47,147 since we all went like two years ago. 143 00:10:47,181 --> 00:10:49,383 I don't want to go without everybody. 144 00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,919 - The dusty old beach house. - Shut up! 145 00:10:52,286 --> 00:10:53,563 Hey Jasper, could you check my bag? 146 00:10:53,587 --> 00:10:54,988 There should be cigarettes. 147 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:56,490 You smoke now? 148 00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:58,268 You think you're Clint Eastwood or some shit? 149 00:10:58,292 --> 00:10:59,927 Clint Eastwood? 150 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,638 When's the last time you seen a movie, 1979? 151 00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:03,340 Yeah, it was probably last year it was cool to smoke, too! 152 00:11:03,364 --> 00:11:04,365 Relax! 153 00:11:04,398 --> 00:11:05,999 Oh! Dude, these are gross! 154 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:13,539 Oh! 155 00:11:14,608 --> 00:11:16,510 Bye! 156 00:11:16,543 --> 00:11:20,047 Wanna know why, man? Cause only butts smoke butts! 157 00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,586 No, no, no, don't smoke weed in the car. 158 00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:28,355 But this is not weed. This is resin. 159 00:11:28,389 --> 00:11:32,092 And this little lady just happened to find the reservoir. 160 00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:33,594 We all have our vices. 161 00:11:33,627 --> 00:11:35,562 Yeah, apparently. Don't smoke weed in the car! 162 00:11:35,596 --> 00:11:38,699 Oh my god, dude, that was pure butane, 163 00:11:38,733 --> 00:11:40,334 that was absolute pure butane. 164 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:41,712 This is gonna give you permanent brain fog. 165 00:11:41,736 --> 00:11:43,370 - I'm bringing up the incident! - Don't! 166 00:11:43,404 --> 00:11:44,447 Remember that time in high school 167 00:11:44,471 --> 00:11:45,506 we stole the dadillac? 168 00:11:45,906 --> 00:11:47,975 And it's like two A.M. and you blow through 169 00:11:48,008 --> 00:11:50,043 the fucking stop light right into the cop car? 170 00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:51,945 - My dad was pissed. - Rightfully so. 171 00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,347 I literally have no idea 172 00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,416 why he'd ever let you borrow that again. 173 00:11:55,449 --> 00:11:57,451 But that was a classic brain fog moment. 174 00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,219 Oh, come on, dude! 175 00:11:59,253 --> 00:12:01,388 Let's just like not pretend that I'm the only one 176 00:12:01,422 --> 00:12:03,190 who got us in trouble back then. 177 00:12:06,093 --> 00:12:07,094 What's happening? 178 00:12:07,528 --> 00:12:09,229 Ah... 179 00:12:09,263 --> 00:12:12,032 It seems as though we've run out of gas. 180 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:14,501 Oh. 181 00:12:14,535 --> 00:12:16,537 Case and point everyone, case and point. 182 00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:18,672 Thank you. 183 00:12:23,377 --> 00:12:25,279 Hey, can I get a, um... 184 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:27,749 Hey. 185 00:12:27,782 --> 00:12:30,350 - What are you doing? - I'm hungry. 186 00:12:45,032 --> 00:12:46,300 Want some? 187 00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,367 You sure? 188 00:12:48,469 --> 00:12:50,237 I know you from somewhere. 189 00:12:51,472 --> 00:12:55,710 - I don't know if you do. - Oh, I totally do. 190 00:12:56,043 --> 00:12:57,745 We went to high school together. 191 00:12:57,779 --> 00:12:59,680 You're Nick maloney. 192 00:12:59,714 --> 00:13:01,181 Baloney maloney. 193 00:13:02,817 --> 00:13:04,752 It's Malone. 194 00:13:04,786 --> 00:13:06,620 Yeah. Yeah. Right, right. And you! 195 00:13:08,088 --> 00:13:09,690 You're that weird gay girl. 196 00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:12,359 Jasper. 197 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,261 Jasper, right. 198 00:13:14,628 --> 00:13:17,431 Hey, you sell pot to my cousin and his friends. 199 00:13:17,464 --> 00:13:19,066 Where's my money? 200 00:13:24,505 --> 00:13:27,709 You do know he's like 16, right? 201 00:13:27,742 --> 00:13:30,244 Stranger danger! 202 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:31,311 Where's my money? Fuck! 203 00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,783 Well, weed's actually medically legal in most states now. 204 00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:37,785 Is it? 205 00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:40,120 So is that just like your whole thing? 206 00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,756 You work in a gas station, 207 00:13:41,789 --> 00:13:43,500 and talk shit to everybody who comes through? 208 00:13:43,524 --> 00:13:47,427 Oh shit, it's like a high school reunion in here. 209 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:49,797 Daddy still paying your bills? 210 00:13:49,831 --> 00:13:52,499 Okay, you know, at least we were memorable. Okay? 211 00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:54,535 Yeah well, so was 9/11, so. 212 00:13:59,774 --> 00:14:01,041 Hey! 213 00:14:05,512 --> 00:14:07,314 Not today, dirtbags! 214 00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:11,451 That's right. 215 00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,555 You tried to pull some mission impossible type shit 216 00:14:14,588 --> 00:14:16,156 but got caught stealing. 217 00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:18,793 And I'm calling the cops. 218 00:14:18,826 --> 00:14:21,328 No, no. Dude, come on. Please don't. 219 00:14:21,361 --> 00:14:24,264 Y'all thought you were Tom fucking cruise, didn't ya? 220 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,233 Pro tip, bitches. 221 00:14:26,266 --> 00:14:28,502 I'm the Tom Cruise of this establishment. 222 00:14:29,737 --> 00:14:31,605 I thought your name was Marvin? 223 00:14:33,307 --> 00:14:36,076 Hey, man, don't call the cops. Sorry, we're not Tom Cruise. 224 00:14:36,410 --> 00:14:38,746 We never thought we were Tom Cruise. What did she steal? 225 00:14:38,780 --> 00:14:40,715 She'll give you the money for it right now. 226 00:14:40,748 --> 00:14:42,316 And we'll call it square, okay? 227 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:48,655 Give me 50. 228 00:14:49,523 --> 00:14:51,158 Fifty bucks? 229 00:14:51,191 --> 00:14:52,535 There's only a few street treats, my friend. 230 00:14:52,559 --> 00:14:55,095 Fifty or I'm gonna call the cops. 231 00:14:57,631 --> 00:14:58,665 I don't... 232 00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:09,476 Oh, yeah. 233 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:18,685 Hometown heroes who still think they're 16. 234 00:15:20,822 --> 00:15:22,155 Grow up. 235 00:15:27,962 --> 00:15:30,597 What the fuck, guys, with the snacks? 236 00:15:30,631 --> 00:15:33,835 Come on, look, I'm really sorry and I promise I'll pay you back. 237 00:15:33,868 --> 00:15:37,404 But, like, come, that guy fucking sucks! 238 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:40,240 - And we're all good, right? - Now give me that Booty. 239 00:15:46,346 --> 00:15:48,548 Dude, you can't smoke weed in the car. 240 00:15:49,784 --> 00:15:50,784 Come on. 241 00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:00,293 Faster! 242 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:05,532 Yeah! Round and around. 243 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:09,636 Bring it around, baby. Turn that around. 244 00:16:09,670 --> 00:16:11,438 Whoo! 245 00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,442 Don't stop, don't stop. 246 00:16:15,943 --> 00:16:19,947 Keep it going, keep it going. Yes, yes, yes. 247 00:16:19,981 --> 00:16:21,481 Wasn't that the exit? 248 00:16:21,515 --> 00:16:23,450 Nick, shut your mouth, come on! 249 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:25,419 Keep her going! 250 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,320 Yep, that's the exit. 251 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,656 Turning safe direction, stopping traffic. 252 00:16:29,690 --> 00:16:31,458 You can't go park. 253 00:16:31,491 --> 00:16:33,795 I don't know why you keep driving back to the exit. 254 00:16:33,828 --> 00:16:37,497 Shut the fuck up! Let's go! Hannah, keep driving. 255 00:16:37,531 --> 00:16:40,333 Daddy. Yes! Press it hander. I'm sorry. 256 00:17:07,061 --> 00:17:08,662 Here we are, kids. 257 00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,431 I don't remember it being so... 258 00:17:11,465 --> 00:17:12,566 Small. 259 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:13,935 You'd know small. 260 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:16,470 Alright, Tom Cruise. 261 00:17:29,349 --> 00:17:31,919 All right, so this is a blitzkrieg. 262 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,922 Like the Nazis? 263 00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:37,892 I mean, no, they didn't invent the word blitzkrieg. 264 00:17:37,925 --> 00:17:39,493 Yeah, but contextually. 265 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:40,704 Whatever. It doesn't matter. We did this 266 00:17:40,728 --> 00:17:42,429 all the time in college. 267 00:17:42,462 --> 00:17:43,865 Nazi shit? 268 00:17:43,898 --> 00:17:46,533 Come on, you take two shots back to back, 269 00:17:46,566 --> 00:17:48,736 and then you shotgun your beer as a chaser. 270 00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:51,739 Oh, that sounds just terrible. 271 00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:53,708 Can I mine over there? 272 00:17:54,041 --> 00:17:55,375 Why? 273 00:17:55,408 --> 00:17:56,711 Splash zone, Nick's gonna spew. 274 00:17:56,744 --> 00:17:58,980 I'm not gonna spew. Ew, spew. 275 00:17:59,847 --> 00:18:01,314 I do this all the time. 276 00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:03,383 I guess that's something to brag about. 277 00:18:05,820 --> 00:18:07,922 Why must you be so cruel? 278 00:18:07,955 --> 00:18:10,057 - Fuck with me. - Oh, shit. 279 00:18:19,834 --> 00:18:21,035 Ahh. 280 00:18:26,107 --> 00:18:27,975 Whoo! 281 00:18:29,744 --> 00:18:31,913 Oh boy, here we go. 282 00:18:33,815 --> 00:18:35,049 Come on, keep it together. 283 00:18:37,752 --> 00:18:38,786 It's bad. 284 00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:41,555 You called it. 285 00:18:48,963 --> 00:18:50,363 When should we tell him? 286 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:52,532 Whoa, easy there, chica. 287 00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:55,002 One must approach these situations with tact, 288 00:18:55,036 --> 00:18:57,905 and you don't have the same age-old experience 289 00:18:57,939 --> 00:19:00,407 as I do with these kind of things. So... 290 00:19:03,010 --> 00:19:04,745 Nick, Hannah's gay now. 291 00:19:10,885 --> 00:19:12,385 So how severe is it? 292 00:19:12,753 --> 00:19:14,454 - Nick! - What? I mean, like, 293 00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:15,756 are you a full-blown lesbian? 294 00:19:15,790 --> 00:19:17,725 Dude, what the f... 295 00:19:17,758 --> 00:19:20,427 - It was just a question. - A question in jest. 296 00:19:21,095 --> 00:19:22,395 Yeah, I mean... 297 00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,732 I think so. 298 00:19:26,499 --> 00:19:28,444 I don't know if I really have it all figured out yet. 299 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:29,937 And that's okay, 300 00:19:29,971 --> 00:19:31,581 because you don't have to have it figured out. 301 00:19:31,605 --> 00:19:33,406 Right? Man. 302 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,820 Didn't this place use to be cleaner? 303 00:19:45,853 --> 00:19:47,722 What are you talking about? It's great. 304 00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:51,993 Oh, my god, is that a fucking heroin needle? 305 00:19:56,063 --> 00:19:57,798 You can't prove that. 306 00:19:57,832 --> 00:19:59,642 I can't prove that? Jasper, there's an open needle 307 00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,936 on the fucking beach, what else would it be used for? 308 00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:04,205 Okay, everyone just relax. All right. 309 00:20:04,238 --> 00:20:07,041 Maybe it's just not the same beach but it's still a beach. 310 00:20:07,074 --> 00:20:09,143 Shh. Hang on. I just came up with something. 311 00:20:11,611 --> 00:20:13,580 What? 312 00:20:13,613 --> 00:20:15,658 Voice message settings. Please record your voice message. 313 00:20:15,682 --> 00:20:18,052 Hey, it's Hannah. I got sand between my cheeks, 314 00:20:18,085 --> 00:20:19,854 so leave a message after the beep. 315 00:20:27,128 --> 00:20:28,763 What the fuck was that? 316 00:20:28,796 --> 00:20:30,965 "I've got sand between my cheeks" is probably 317 00:20:30,998 --> 00:20:33,000 the worst thing that I've ever heard. 318 00:20:33,401 --> 00:20:35,903 - You think it was too much? - Yes, absolutely too much. 319 00:20:35,937 --> 00:20:37,204 Hannah, that didn't even rhyme. 320 00:20:38,706 --> 00:20:40,174 Yes, it did. 321 00:20:40,207 --> 00:20:42,710 No, no didn't, not at all. 322 00:20:42,743 --> 00:20:45,012 Why are you even recording a voicemail anyway? 323 00:20:45,379 --> 00:20:47,181 I'm trying to find something 324 00:20:47,214 --> 00:20:48,950 that illustrates who I am as a person. 325 00:20:48,983 --> 00:20:51,752 I guess "sand between my cheeks" is a prime descriptor. 326 00:20:51,786 --> 00:20:53,596 Are you trying to tell me is that who you are right now 327 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:54,965 is representative of you are forever. 328 00:20:54,989 --> 00:20:56,690 No. Which is why I try to keep 329 00:20:56,724 --> 00:20:58,793 different representations of myself up to date. 330 00:21:00,127 --> 00:21:02,029 Sand on the beach. 331 00:21:02,063 --> 00:21:04,198 And apparently heroin. So... 332 00:21:05,299 --> 00:21:06,934 Yeah. 333 00:21:06,968 --> 00:21:10,171 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Guys, we should do heroin. 334 00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,245 Okay, no, so that's less funny. 335 00:21:18,279 --> 00:21:19,914 Yeah, no much, much less funny. 336 00:21:19,947 --> 00:21:21,882 You know what, maybe it's always sucked here 337 00:21:21,916 --> 00:21:23,117 and we just never noticed. 338 00:21:23,150 --> 00:21:24,986 Oh, yeah. It really sucks to have 339 00:21:25,019 --> 00:21:28,289 a nice, free beach house to stay in 340 00:21:28,322 --> 00:21:30,557 and a beautiful beach to go to. 341 00:21:30,590 --> 00:21:31,926 I think we did it. 342 00:21:31,959 --> 00:21:33,995 Yeah, no, no, fuck me, right? 343 00:21:34,028 --> 00:21:35,305 Oh, no, no, I didn't mean it like that. 344 00:21:35,329 --> 00:21:36,572 I'm kidding. It totally sucks here. 345 00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:38,698 Yeah, it's all right. 346 00:21:38,733 --> 00:21:40,968 Question is, how are we going to make this the vacation 347 00:21:41,002 --> 00:21:42,837 that we always thought it was? 348 00:21:44,872 --> 00:21:46,007 Oh, my god. 349 00:21:47,208 --> 00:21:49,576 So fucked, dude. 350 00:21:51,178 --> 00:21:52,847 Whoo! 351 00:21:53,214 --> 00:21:54,815 That was fucking awesome. 352 00:21:56,017 --> 00:21:57,318 What is your problem? 353 00:21:57,351 --> 00:21:58,753 Excuse me? 354 00:22:00,121 --> 00:22:01,789 That was fucking awesome. 355 00:22:01,822 --> 00:22:03,523 I'm the fucking man, okay? 356 00:22:10,831 --> 00:22:12,733 What? You got a problem? 357 00:22:12,767 --> 00:22:14,702 Huh? You gonna do something, huh? 358 00:22:15,102 --> 00:22:16,102 Huh? 359 00:22:16,904 --> 00:22:18,638 You really can't do shit. 360 00:22:19,639 --> 00:22:21,175 Pussy ass losers. 361 00:22:28,449 --> 00:22:30,985 And that guy's got it all figured out, dude. 362 00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:32,720 Got what? That he's an asshole? 363 00:22:32,753 --> 00:22:34,630 That guy was so drunk that he plowed through us, 364 00:22:34,654 --> 00:22:35,956 called us a bunch of pussies 365 00:22:35,990 --> 00:22:37,300 and stepped on a dirty old beach needle. 366 00:22:37,324 --> 00:22:39,193 How does he have it all figured out? 367 00:22:39,226 --> 00:22:41,071 Everybody steps on a dirty old beach needle from time to time. 368 00:22:41,095 --> 00:22:43,764 It's inevitable, look at the world around us. 369 00:22:43,798 --> 00:22:45,900 I don't know if that's true. 370 00:22:45,933 --> 00:22:48,269 That guy wanted to have a good time. 371 00:22:48,302 --> 00:22:51,072 With complete disregard for everybody else around him. 372 00:22:51,105 --> 00:22:53,240 He thought that he was the man, and in turn made us 373 00:22:53,274 --> 00:22:54,809 think that he was the man. 374 00:22:54,842 --> 00:22:57,011 No, no one thought that he was the man. 375 00:22:57,044 --> 00:23:00,281 All right, he made us think that he thought that he was the man. 376 00:23:00,314 --> 00:23:04,752 He exuded confidence and had but a fantastic time doing so. 377 00:23:04,785 --> 00:23:06,253 What if... what if he's just 378 00:23:06,287 --> 00:23:08,889 some pushover deadbeat that throws on 379 00:23:08,923 --> 00:23:10,057 this douchebag façade? 380 00:23:10,091 --> 00:23:11,959 We wouldn't even be able to tell. 381 00:23:11,992 --> 00:23:15,262 So, why don't we pretend to be those kinds of people, too? 382 00:23:15,296 --> 00:23:17,031 Because we aren't those kinds of people. 383 00:23:17,064 --> 00:23:18,909 Like Marvin said, we're Nick, Jasper, and Hannah, 384 00:23:18,933 --> 00:23:20,201 hometown heroes. 385 00:23:20,234 --> 00:23:23,237 Nick, why must you speak in such a way? 386 00:23:23,270 --> 00:23:25,406 I'm just being considerate to my future self. 387 00:23:25,439 --> 00:23:26,974 The dude's a douchebag on vacation 388 00:23:27,007 --> 00:23:28,742 and a douchebag in real life. 389 00:23:28,776 --> 00:23:31,245 Pretending to be someone I'm not is stupid. 390 00:23:31,278 --> 00:23:33,347 Yeah, but that's what makes it oh-so-great. 391 00:23:33,380 --> 00:23:35,716 We throw on these old ruses and schemes 392 00:23:35,749 --> 00:23:36,884 because they're so stupid. 393 00:23:36,917 --> 00:23:38,651 Absolutely not. 394 00:23:38,685 --> 00:23:39,930 Look what happened at the gas station. 395 00:23:39,954 --> 00:23:41,654 That was fucking stupid. 396 00:23:41,688 --> 00:23:44,258 I'm sorry, but that was fucking stupid. 397 00:23:44,291 --> 00:23:46,927 And because of that, Hannah's out of 50 bucks, 398 00:23:46,961 --> 00:23:49,029 and we just look like a bunch of dipshits. 399 00:23:50,331 --> 00:23:52,299 I don't mean to be all emo or whatever, 400 00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:55,136 but I just wanted to hang out with my best friends. 401 00:23:55,169 --> 00:23:56,913 Not the shitty people they think they have to be 402 00:23:56,937 --> 00:23:58,671 to have a good time. 403 00:23:58,706 --> 00:24:00,350 What, you didn't make any new friends in college? 404 00:24:00,374 --> 00:24:02,810 Hell yeah I made new friends in college. 405 00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:04,879 I'll probably never see them ever again. 406 00:24:04,912 --> 00:24:06,189 The only person going to grad school with me 407 00:24:06,213 --> 00:24:07,815 is Michael Jackson. 408 00:24:07,848 --> 00:24:09,884 You know a kid named Michael Jackson? 409 00:24:10,317 --> 00:24:13,220 Yeah. But he can't dance or sing. 410 00:24:13,254 --> 00:24:15,222 All he ever did was Jack off all the time. 411 00:24:15,256 --> 00:24:18,893 Point is, doing stupid things is stupid. 412 00:24:21,962 --> 00:24:25,099 Hey, enough with the eyes. It's cheating. 413 00:24:25,132 --> 00:24:27,134 Okay, look not to play devil's advocate. 414 00:24:27,168 --> 00:24:30,304 - Here we go. - But everything turned out okay. 415 00:24:30,337 --> 00:24:31,872 Mostly. 416 00:24:33,407 --> 00:24:35,075 Of course you're down. 417 00:24:35,109 --> 00:24:37,711 You just want an excuse to hold Jasper's hand 418 00:24:37,745 --> 00:24:39,246 - and steal shit again. - No. 419 00:24:41,048 --> 00:24:42,483 Okay, maybe. But look, 420 00:24:42,516 --> 00:24:43,994 when's the next time we're going to be here? 421 00:24:44,018 --> 00:24:45,352 Why don't we make the best of it? 422 00:24:45,386 --> 00:24:47,454 Oh, that's cheating. Totally unfair. 423 00:24:47,488 --> 00:24:49,023 Majority rules. 424 00:24:49,056 --> 00:24:51,458 You have to do it. 425 00:24:52,126 --> 00:24:55,129 Hi, can I get you three started with something? 426 00:24:58,098 --> 00:25:00,401 Ah. Yes, bonjour. 427 00:25:00,434 --> 00:25:03,170 Ah, your menu, is there any more pages? 428 00:25:04,004 --> 00:25:05,472 Ah, no. 429 00:25:05,506 --> 00:25:07,208 That's it. 430 00:25:07,575 --> 00:25:09,410 Do you have a baguette? 431 00:25:10,377 --> 00:25:11,879 We have rolls. 432 00:25:13,247 --> 00:25:14,281 Perfect. 433 00:25:19,787 --> 00:25:21,956 Should I get the shrimp or the steak? 434 00:25:22,556 --> 00:25:24,225 Oh, neither. 435 00:25:24,258 --> 00:25:25,969 We are at the diner. Why would you order that? 436 00:25:25,993 --> 00:25:27,294 You will get sick and throw up. 437 00:25:27,328 --> 00:25:30,097 I'm not... I'm not going to get sick. 438 00:25:30,130 --> 00:25:32,399 - You got sick over everything. - I'm sick of your shit. 439 00:25:32,433 --> 00:25:33,968 Oh, putain. 440 00:25:34,001 --> 00:25:36,403 Madame, do you have any escargot? 441 00:25:39,039 --> 00:25:40,274 What's going on here? 442 00:25:40,307 --> 00:25:42,243 - I don't have time for this. - Oh. 443 00:25:42,276 --> 00:25:44,044 Well, I'll be damned. 444 00:25:44,078 --> 00:25:48,082 I pity this menu. I demand escargot on everything. 445 00:25:48,115 --> 00:25:49,750 I pity this restaurant. 446 00:25:50,317 --> 00:25:51,885 Oh, yeah? 447 00:25:51,919 --> 00:25:54,321 Would you like to tell that to the chef? 448 00:25:55,356 --> 00:25:56,490 Hey, Clarence. 449 00:26:07,601 --> 00:26:10,237 Well, I'm ready to escargot the fuck out of here. 450 00:26:10,705 --> 00:26:12,306 Voice message settings. 451 00:26:12,339 --> 00:26:13,974 Please record your voice message. 452 00:26:14,008 --> 00:26:15,943 Hey, it's Hannah. 453 00:26:15,976 --> 00:26:17,578 Leave a message if feel like it. 454 00:26:17,611 --> 00:26:19,980 Whoa, what is that all about? 455 00:26:23,384 --> 00:26:24,885 Only sometimes. 456 00:26:27,354 --> 00:26:29,423 Where's Jasper? She's taking forever. 457 00:26:29,456 --> 00:26:30,824 Bathroom. 458 00:26:35,863 --> 00:26:37,398 Can I ask you something? 459 00:26:37,431 --> 00:26:38,899 Absolutely not. 460 00:26:40,100 --> 00:26:43,304 Things aren't gonna be like, weird or anything. Are they? 461 00:26:44,938 --> 00:26:47,241 What? No, of course not. 462 00:26:47,274 --> 00:26:50,978 I mean, you and jas together, you know, committed, dating. 463 00:26:52,313 --> 00:26:55,015 We're not like dating, dating you know. 464 00:26:55,049 --> 00:26:57,051 Like nothing officially official at least. 465 00:26:57,084 --> 00:26:58,886 It seemed like you two were a thing. 466 00:26:58,919 --> 00:27:01,522 Well a thing doesn't have to be anything official, though. 467 00:27:01,555 --> 00:27:04,191 And it's not like we have time for that, anyways. 468 00:27:04,224 --> 00:27:05,926 Like, we're both so busy. 469 00:27:05,959 --> 00:27:08,395 So busy you can't just like slap a label on it? 470 00:27:11,365 --> 00:27:13,500 Who's to say. 471 00:27:14,034 --> 00:27:15,936 What do you care, anyway? 472 00:27:16,603 --> 00:27:19,139 - If my friends are dating... - We're not dating. 473 00:27:21,041 --> 00:27:22,309 I just think it's gonna fuck up 474 00:27:22,343 --> 00:27:24,545 the feng shui of the whole friendship. 475 00:27:24,578 --> 00:27:26,447 "Feng shui of the whole friendship." 476 00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,549 - Yes. If you're dating... - We're not dating. 477 00:27:28,582 --> 00:27:30,451 So there can't be any problems, okay? 478 00:27:37,324 --> 00:27:38,992 It wouldn't be like a problem anyway 479 00:27:39,026 --> 00:27:40,561 if she wasn't making it such a thing. 480 00:27:40,594 --> 00:27:43,130 You're ruining the feng shui with your wickedness. 481 00:27:43,163 --> 00:27:44,331 You are yelling. 482 00:27:44,365 --> 00:27:45,666 You only say it like that 483 00:27:45,699 --> 00:27:46,943 so you pretend like I won't hear it. 484 00:27:46,967 --> 00:27:48,268 But then you'll act all offended 485 00:27:48,302 --> 00:27:49,346 if I pretend like I didn't hear you. 486 00:27:49,370 --> 00:27:51,205 Somebody needs to hear it, okay? 487 00:27:51,238 --> 00:27:53,307 I just need her to grow up, dude. 488 00:27:53,340 --> 00:27:56,076 I'm like, head over heels for this girl 489 00:27:56,110 --> 00:27:58,545 and I love doing stupid things with her, but, like... 490 00:28:00,114 --> 00:28:02,416 Emotionally she's just... 491 00:28:07,187 --> 00:28:09,256 I think it's your own fault for thinking 492 00:28:09,289 --> 00:28:11,358 she's even capable that. 493 00:28:11,392 --> 00:28:14,194 She's been the same since high school, you know? 494 00:28:15,629 --> 00:28:16,630 Yeah. 495 00:28:19,666 --> 00:28:21,902 Yo, what up, you penises? 496 00:28:24,972 --> 00:28:27,074 All right, so, Hannah, 497 00:28:27,107 --> 00:28:28,651 you're going to come to the aisle with me, 498 00:28:28,675 --> 00:28:32,279 and Nick. You're going to pretend to be blind. 499 00:28:32,312 --> 00:28:34,148 Blind? Why am I blind? 500 00:28:34,181 --> 00:28:35,726 Because you got to distract whoever's working at the counter 501 00:28:35,750 --> 00:28:37,451 while Jasper and I shove beers in her bag. 502 00:28:37,484 --> 00:28:39,520 You're not paying for them? I'm not doing this. 503 00:28:39,553 --> 00:28:41,088 Why would we pay for them? 504 00:28:41,121 --> 00:28:42,565 Hey, I don't know if you've noticed this, 505 00:28:42,589 --> 00:28:45,392 but, um, I'm black. 506 00:28:45,426 --> 00:28:48,128 It's one thing when the little white girl gets caught 507 00:28:48,162 --> 00:28:49,396 doing something bad, 508 00:28:49,430 --> 00:28:50,998 but when the black man gets caught... 509 00:28:51,632 --> 00:28:53,333 Nick, we're the same age. 510 00:28:55,302 --> 00:28:58,338 Wow, do you not watch the news? They don't care. 511 00:28:58,372 --> 00:29:01,275 This is right next to haunted houses and spiked kombucha 512 00:29:01,308 --> 00:29:03,253 on the white people's shit shelf. I'm not about it. 513 00:29:03,277 --> 00:29:05,747 You know what? You can stay here outside, 514 00:29:05,780 --> 00:29:09,717 but if you want to come inside, you have to pretend to be blind. 515 00:29:09,751 --> 00:29:10,751 Okay? 516 00:29:12,519 --> 00:29:13,922 Come on. 517 00:29:14,923 --> 00:29:18,225 I can pretend to be anyone I want, but I'm still black. 518 00:29:40,080 --> 00:29:41,148 Ah... 519 00:29:42,817 --> 00:29:44,151 What? 520 00:29:44,719 --> 00:29:47,354 Ah. I'm blind. 521 00:29:47,688 --> 00:29:49,590 How are you today? 522 00:29:55,095 --> 00:29:56,096 Dude, come on. 523 00:29:56,129 --> 00:29:57,765 I'm going. Shut up. 524 00:29:57,799 --> 00:30:00,167 You're not blind. What is this? 525 00:30:02,102 --> 00:30:04,071 What do you want? 526 00:30:05,439 --> 00:30:07,474 You look so cute lifting shop. 527 00:30:11,545 --> 00:30:12,646 What? 528 00:30:17,117 --> 00:30:19,052 - Are they looking? - I don't know. 529 00:30:19,721 --> 00:30:21,321 - Let me check. - Okay. 530 00:30:28,395 --> 00:30:31,198 Oh... my god. 531 00:30:31,665 --> 00:30:33,267 - Hi there. - Hello. 532 00:30:33,300 --> 00:30:36,804 Oh, my god, it is you. Wait right here. 533 00:30:38,372 --> 00:30:41,108 - It is us. - Apparently. 534 00:30:41,141 --> 00:30:43,243 Hey! No running in here! 535 00:30:46,814 --> 00:30:49,049 How dare you... 536 00:30:50,484 --> 00:30:52,219 Excuse me? 537 00:30:52,252 --> 00:30:54,555 Accusing me of having the gift of sight! Incredible. 538 00:30:54,588 --> 00:30:56,223 You're looking right at me! 539 00:30:56,256 --> 00:30:58,826 You're mean right now, and I didn't do anything. 540 00:31:02,797 --> 00:31:04,732 Oh, my god, it is them. 541 00:31:09,636 --> 00:31:12,472 No, no, no. They're cops. 542 00:31:12,506 --> 00:31:14,608 No! That's them. 543 00:31:14,641 --> 00:31:16,878 That's pocket hot dog. 544 00:31:16,911 --> 00:31:18,645 You guys are incredible. 545 00:31:18,679 --> 00:31:20,782 - I love your music. - I'm Allison. 546 00:31:20,815 --> 00:31:24,551 - I'm Lindsey. - And we are pocket hot dog. 547 00:31:24,585 --> 00:31:27,855 - That's so hap! - The most hap! 548 00:31:29,556 --> 00:31:31,258 - What? - Where's Angus? 549 00:31:31,291 --> 00:31:32,727 I didn't do anything! 550 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:34,637 You come into my store and act as it's your own. 551 00:31:34,661 --> 00:31:36,798 How am I acting like it's... 552 00:31:36,831 --> 00:31:38,599 Hey! 553 00:31:38,632 --> 00:31:40,543 What are you guys doing back there? Get up here now! 554 00:31:40,567 --> 00:31:41,703 Um... 555 00:31:41,936 --> 00:31:43,604 Can you take this and meet us outside? 556 00:31:44,939 --> 00:31:47,374 Jas, you can't do that. What is she gets caught? 557 00:31:47,407 --> 00:31:48,675 That's the point. 558 00:31:48,710 --> 00:31:50,577 - No, you can't... - Now! 559 00:31:51,813 --> 00:31:54,414 Excuse me! 560 00:31:54,448 --> 00:31:57,417 All I said was "hi" and you doubted my blindness. 561 00:31:57,986 --> 00:32:01,488 You're not blind, pal. You tried to steal from me. 562 00:32:01,521 --> 00:32:02,757 How? 563 00:32:05,827 --> 00:32:08,730 Young lady, what's in that bag? 564 00:32:08,763 --> 00:32:10,530 You're being a massive wiener right now. 565 00:32:10,564 --> 00:32:12,566 Weiner? I'm a massive... 566 00:32:12,599 --> 00:32:14,301 Hey! Hey! Hey! 567 00:32:14,601 --> 00:32:16,236 Open that bag back there! 568 00:32:16,269 --> 00:32:18,906 Hey, brother, it's okay. 569 00:32:19,239 --> 00:32:20,908 Look at you, man! 570 00:32:21,441 --> 00:32:24,378 You got a mop, dripping all over yourself. 571 00:32:24,411 --> 00:32:25,612 You're a mess. 572 00:32:26,948 --> 00:32:29,917 You don't have to be here, man. I mean... 573 00:32:30,785 --> 00:32:34,554 We both know that you don't want to be here. 574 00:32:38,225 --> 00:32:39,593 Huh? 575 00:32:40,594 --> 00:32:42,864 We all got aspirations. 576 00:32:43,630 --> 00:32:47,300 But we're out there chasing ours. 577 00:32:47,601 --> 00:32:50,437 You. You're here swabbing the poop deck 578 00:32:50,470 --> 00:32:53,273 on the ship of someone else's dreams, man. 579 00:32:53,741 --> 00:32:56,376 Don't you wanna be captain ahab calling the shots, 580 00:32:56,410 --> 00:32:58,245 chasing that white whale? 581 00:33:03,684 --> 00:33:06,921 "There are certain queer times and occasions 582 00:33:06,954 --> 00:33:10,524 in this strange mixed affair we call life..." 583 00:33:14,829 --> 00:33:19,599 "When a man takes the whole universe 584 00:33:19,633 --> 00:33:22,335 for a vast practical joke..." 585 00:33:22,369 --> 00:33:25,338 "Though the wit thereof he but dimly discerns..." 586 00:33:25,372 --> 00:33:28,776 "And more than suspects that the joke is at..." 587 00:33:28,810 --> 00:33:30,978 "Is at nobody's expense..." 588 00:33:32,546 --> 00:33:33,881 "But his own." 589 00:33:37,284 --> 00:33:39,619 What in heavenly fuck? 590 00:33:44,691 --> 00:33:46,660 What have I become? 591 00:33:52,734 --> 00:33:54,634 Take whatever you want. 592 00:33:55,737 --> 00:33:57,038 What? 593 00:33:57,071 --> 00:33:59,439 Just leave me the fucking pretzels. 594 00:34:02,509 --> 00:34:03,811 Dude, that was so cool. 595 00:34:04,411 --> 00:34:06,981 I do what I can when I do what I do. 596 00:34:08,415 --> 00:34:10,617 What? It doesn't make any sense. 597 00:34:10,650 --> 00:34:13,286 Yeah, makes all the sense, man. 598 00:34:14,756 --> 00:34:15,857 Were you... 599 00:34:16,891 --> 00:34:18,458 Is that Jasper's backpack? 600 00:34:19,392 --> 00:34:22,662 Why does she have your backpack? Why is she stealing for you? 601 00:34:23,097 --> 00:34:25,967 - I'm so sorry. - It's okay, Angus. 602 00:34:26,666 --> 00:34:28,368 Angus? 603 00:34:28,401 --> 00:34:30,004 I'd do anything for you. 604 00:34:33,074 --> 00:34:36,476 - And pocket hot dog. - Charlie, that was so hap. 605 00:34:38,345 --> 00:34:39,345 Hap? 606 00:34:40,647 --> 00:34:44,351 Oh. That's pretty cool, it's heavy. 607 00:34:44,384 --> 00:34:47,420 You guys stole a lot of stuff here. 608 00:34:48,856 --> 00:34:50,925 We really did save your asses, huh? 609 00:34:53,961 --> 00:34:55,763 That is punk. 610 00:34:55,797 --> 00:34:58,565 Punk is funk, brother. Punk is funk. 611 00:34:59,233 --> 00:35:01,368 I know what it's like being on the road. 612 00:35:01,401 --> 00:35:06,040 Money gets tight. I get it, #vanlife. 613 00:35:06,073 --> 00:35:09,710 That's what pocket hot dog is all about. Right? 614 00:35:13,080 --> 00:35:16,583 I'm sorry I doubted you, all right? 615 00:35:16,616 --> 00:35:20,721 I just that I thought you were narks out to get us. 616 00:35:21,889 --> 00:35:23,490 But here you are! 617 00:35:24,491 --> 00:35:26,611 You can't trust anybody anymore, you know what I mean? 618 00:35:29,730 --> 00:35:31,698 - I'm Charlie. - Hey. 619 00:35:31,732 --> 00:35:34,601 I know this is being forward and all, 620 00:35:34,634 --> 00:35:36,938 but can we take a selfie? 621 00:35:36,971 --> 00:35:38,773 And an autograph? 622 00:35:38,806 --> 00:35:41,042 We're having a little thing at my place, 623 00:35:41,075 --> 00:35:42,877 not a party or anything. Just us here folks, 624 00:35:42,910 --> 00:35:46,113 but if you want, we'd love to have you. 625 00:35:46,379 --> 00:35:49,951 Hang out, soak up some good vibes... 626 00:35:49,984 --> 00:35:52,887 - It'd be pretty hap. - What is "hap?" Like hepatitis? 627 00:35:52,920 --> 00:35:55,522 - Where at? - Right down the road. 628 00:35:58,192 --> 00:36:01,695 Could we talk? We'll be right back. 629 00:36:06,666 --> 00:36:08,368 What are you doing? 630 00:36:09,303 --> 00:36:11,806 Yeah, I'm not the keenest on this idea. 631 00:36:12,240 --> 00:36:15,176 Guys, Charlie single-handedly got us out of that mess. 632 00:36:15,209 --> 00:36:16,911 He's totally cool, we can hang. 633 00:36:16,944 --> 00:36:20,147 They think we're a fucking band, that's a perfect in. 634 00:36:20,380 --> 00:36:23,751 It seems ridiculous. Was he quoting Moby dick before? 635 00:36:23,784 --> 00:36:25,619 He was totally quoting Moby dick. 636 00:36:25,987 --> 00:36:29,156 That guy is a ghost or a ghoul from 1827 637 00:36:29,190 --> 00:36:31,424 and I'm not fucking with it. 638 00:36:31,458 --> 00:36:34,095 Isn't that why we're doing what we're doing, though? 639 00:36:34,628 --> 00:36:37,031 Sorry, Jasper. Majority rules. 640 00:36:38,165 --> 00:36:39,699 No ghouls! 641 00:36:47,540 --> 00:36:49,744 No! We talked about this! 642 00:36:50,610 --> 00:36:52,947 Sorry, Nick. Majority rules. 643 00:36:53,948 --> 00:36:55,182 I can't win. 644 00:37:08,029 --> 00:37:09,462 Shit. 645 00:37:09,964 --> 00:37:12,133 - Cool, right? - Yeah... 646 00:37:15,002 --> 00:37:18,906 Yeah. It's my spirit animal. 647 00:37:18,940 --> 00:37:24,712 Did that myself after a crazy ayahuasca trip. 648 00:37:25,545 --> 00:37:26,881 You know, I'm a libra. 649 00:37:30,117 --> 00:37:32,219 Yeah. That's cool. 650 00:37:32,686 --> 00:37:34,889 - Do you want a drink? - Yes! Yes! 651 00:37:39,727 --> 00:37:41,929 Yo, check this out. 652 00:37:46,901 --> 00:37:47,935 What about it? 653 00:37:47,969 --> 00:37:49,602 I know this is pure speculation, 654 00:37:49,636 --> 00:37:51,706 but this dude absolutely killed his wife 655 00:37:51,739 --> 00:37:54,641 in some ritualistic heaven's gate kool-aid bullshit. 656 00:37:58,012 --> 00:38:00,715 - That's probably dramatic. - Look at his face! 657 00:38:00,748 --> 00:38:02,549 Those are the eyes of a murderer! 658 00:38:02,582 --> 00:38:05,618 - I'm telling you, I've seen it! - You've seen it? 659 00:38:05,652 --> 00:38:08,521 On those investigative shows and shit. 660 00:38:08,555 --> 00:38:10,791 You watch too many of those. I keep telling you that. 661 00:38:10,825 --> 00:38:13,560 And you can't start freaking out or else I'll freak out. 662 00:38:13,593 --> 00:38:15,763 What about you two? 663 00:38:17,597 --> 00:38:18,597 Drink? 664 00:38:19,699 --> 00:38:21,769 No, thanks. We have beers. 665 00:38:26,841 --> 00:38:28,175 Suit yourselves. 666 00:38:31,812 --> 00:38:34,715 All right! Let's raise our glasses. 667 00:38:36,984 --> 00:38:41,489 Cheers to an incredible night 668 00:38:42,123 --> 00:38:46,060 with the one and only pocket hot dog. 669 00:38:49,063 --> 00:38:50,831 Pocket hot dog! 670 00:39:14,321 --> 00:39:16,857 Let me stop you there. 671 00:39:21,762 --> 00:39:23,197 I know. 672 00:39:27,001 --> 00:39:28,235 Know what? 673 00:39:31,038 --> 00:39:34,308 I know you're not who you're pretending to be. 674 00:39:43,017 --> 00:39:44,684 I'm kidding, man! 675 00:39:45,986 --> 00:39:49,056 You're up on that stage, you gotta put on 676 00:39:49,090 --> 00:39:53,626 that facade of confidence, but in the real world you're... 677 00:39:54,728 --> 00:39:55,996 Quiet, subtle. 678 00:39:57,298 --> 00:40:00,134 Nervousness gets all of us, I get it. 679 00:40:01,769 --> 00:40:05,172 This is an intimate setting. 680 00:40:05,206 --> 00:40:09,076 You're on vacation. You're not performing. 681 00:40:13,247 --> 00:40:14,681 Yeah? 682 00:40:14,715 --> 00:40:16,026 - Totally. - Preferably, actually. 683 00:40:16,050 --> 00:40:17,351 That would be totally awesome. 684 00:40:17,852 --> 00:40:20,653 You guys mind if I play you a little song I wrote? 685 00:40:20,687 --> 00:40:21,956 I don't want to impose. 686 00:40:21,989 --> 00:40:23,891 - Please. - Go ahead, do your thing. 687 00:40:24,959 --> 00:40:26,327 All right. 688 00:40:27,862 --> 00:40:30,663 Here we go. This one is called... 689 00:40:34,835 --> 00:40:36,937 "Why do all the hottest porn stars 690 00:40:36,971 --> 00:40:39,340 do all the weird fetish shit?" 691 00:40:44,345 --> 00:40:46,981 ♪ The sun is shining ♪ 692 00:40:49,150 --> 00:40:51,418 ♪ tanning my skin ♪ 693 00:40:54,321 --> 00:40:57,024 ♪ the oceans sings a song ♪ 694 00:40:58,792 --> 00:41:00,427 ♪ with the wind 695 00:41:03,464 --> 00:41:06,967 ♪ I'll lead the atmosphere ♪ 696 00:41:07,501 --> 00:41:09,336 ♪ for lunch 697 00:41:11,872 --> 00:41:16,877 ♪ cause for brunch I had a big 'ol helping ♪ 698 00:41:19,413 --> 00:41:21,415 ♪ of cunt 699 00:41:23,083 --> 00:41:24,185 wow. 700 00:41:24,585 --> 00:41:27,121 Lunch, brunch, cunt. 701 00:41:27,154 --> 00:41:29,790 I guess he needed a word that rhymed. 702 00:41:31,759 --> 00:41:35,229 What? That doesn't even rhyme, Hannah. 703 00:41:35,729 --> 00:41:39,500 Yeah, it does. I hear it. It sounds similar. 704 00:41:39,533 --> 00:41:41,368 No, it doesn't rhyme. 705 00:41:42,503 --> 00:41:43,904 White people. 706 00:42:12,566 --> 00:42:15,135 I think I'm getting ass tonight. 707 00:42:16,537 --> 00:42:18,272 I'm serious, man. 708 00:42:18,305 --> 00:42:20,474 When has it ever been this obvious to tell? Watch. 709 00:42:20,507 --> 00:42:22,009 Watch this shit. 710 00:42:27,281 --> 00:42:29,917 I'm gonna eat the Booty like garbage. 711 00:42:31,552 --> 00:42:33,320 Don't you mean "like groceries?" 712 00:42:33,354 --> 00:42:35,122 No, I'll suck it like garbage. 713 00:42:35,155 --> 00:42:36,890 I'm gonna eat the Booty like garbage. 714 00:42:36,924 --> 00:42:39,260 No, we get it. You're disgusting. 715 00:42:43,864 --> 00:42:48,535 We are pocket hot dog. 716 00:43:03,884 --> 00:43:05,886 Eat my pussy! 717 00:43:14,461 --> 00:43:16,130 No, I'm not going in. 718 00:43:16,163 --> 00:43:17,298 Please. 719 00:43:17,331 --> 00:43:18,432 No. 720 00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:21,468 I don't wanna go in the pool. 721 00:43:21,502 --> 00:43:23,137 - Please? - No. 722 00:43:24,338 --> 00:43:25,539 Come on! 723 00:43:30,177 --> 00:43:31,812 Just for a little bit. 724 00:43:34,415 --> 00:43:36,817 - Come on. - I don't wanna get wet. 725 00:43:37,451 --> 00:43:39,253 Come on. 726 00:43:41,488 --> 00:43:43,023 - Please? - No. 727 00:43:46,327 --> 00:43:47,961 Jasper, no, my phone! 728 00:44:09,216 --> 00:44:10,484 I love you. 729 00:44:13,654 --> 00:44:15,389 I love you, too. 730 00:44:34,408 --> 00:44:36,543 Get the fuck out of my house! 731 00:44:36,577 --> 00:44:38,245 I Okay, alright, shit, fuck. 732 00:44:39,947 --> 00:44:43,450 Nick! Get up! Get up! Get up! 733 00:44:44,318 --> 00:44:46,286 I love you! What's going on? 734 00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,422 You gotta go! Gotta go out the back. 735 00:44:48,455 --> 00:44:50,657 Go right out back, there. 736 00:44:52,092 --> 00:44:53,092 Wow. 737 00:44:55,429 --> 00:44:57,264 These ones are young, even for you. 738 00:44:57,297 --> 00:44:58,465 Don't look at them! 739 00:45:01,635 --> 00:45:03,070 You're the woman from the picture. 740 00:45:03,370 --> 00:45:05,506 You're the guy in my fucking house! 741 00:45:46,113 --> 00:45:47,548 That was kind of fucked up. 742 00:45:47,581 --> 00:45:49,483 What happened back there? That was his wife! 743 00:45:49,516 --> 00:45:52,219 Did you see her face when she was pointing at you? 744 00:45:52,252 --> 00:45:54,688 "You're the guy in my fucking house!" 745 00:45:57,090 --> 00:46:00,093 Guys, I'm so sorry. This was totally my idea. 746 00:46:00,127 --> 00:46:01,695 Oh, I'm pissed! 747 00:46:07,234 --> 00:46:09,636 Somebody do the Titanic thing with me. 748 00:46:19,646 --> 00:46:21,014 Okay. 749 00:46:27,254 --> 00:46:28,422 Come on! 750 00:46:35,362 --> 00:46:37,231 Oh, what'd I look like? 751 00:46:47,574 --> 00:46:49,576 - Totally hook up with that. - He's a babe. 752 00:46:49,610 --> 00:46:52,179 Hey! You want date my friend? 753 00:46:52,212 --> 00:46:53,313 Date my friend! 754 00:46:53,347 --> 00:46:54,515 That's not what I want. 755 00:46:56,383 --> 00:47:00,087 - He loves penis! - That's not what I love at all. 756 00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:01,154 No, hey! 757 00:47:02,422 --> 00:47:03,734 What are you doing drinking that in here? 758 00:47:03,758 --> 00:47:05,692 You can't drink in the park. 759 00:47:05,727 --> 00:47:07,170 We don't know what you're talking about. 760 00:47:07,194 --> 00:47:08,371 We're connoisseurs of good taste. 761 00:47:08,395 --> 00:47:10,097 Oh, yeah. 762 00:47:10,130 --> 00:47:12,432 - My fault. Fuck me, right? - What about that guy? 763 00:47:14,301 --> 00:47:15,402 Whoo! 764 00:47:15,435 --> 00:47:17,104 And that's a winner. 765 00:47:17,137 --> 00:47:19,106 Isn't that the guy who called me a pussy loser? 766 00:47:19,139 --> 00:47:21,174 And he's totally fucking hammered right now. 767 00:47:23,711 --> 00:47:25,312 But he's hot so it's different. 768 00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:30,217 If I can't get hammered in the park, neither can you. 769 00:47:30,250 --> 00:47:31,618 Get rid of it. 770 00:47:34,655 --> 00:47:37,491 You're a stupid bitch, don't touch me! 771 00:48:07,421 --> 00:48:08,421 There you go! 772 00:48:12,259 --> 00:48:13,594 Voilà! 773 00:48:19,700 --> 00:48:21,268 Like, I'll punch you in the face. 774 00:48:21,301 --> 00:48:23,203 - I'll punch you in the face. - No, no! 775 00:48:23,236 --> 00:48:24,848 - I'll punch you in the face. - Whoa, hey. 776 00:48:24,872 --> 00:48:26,752 You said you wanted me to punch you in the face. 777 00:48:26,808 --> 00:48:29,610 Why are we talking about punching people in the face? 778 00:48:29,643 --> 00:48:32,613 Cause I have a lot of masculine energy 779 00:48:32,646 --> 00:48:35,717 as a lesbian and I need to make sure everyone knows 780 00:48:35,750 --> 00:48:37,284 that I'm gay. 781 00:48:37,584 --> 00:48:39,620 I've never thought of it that way. 782 00:48:39,954 --> 00:48:41,723 No one ever thinks about lesbians. 783 00:48:41,756 --> 00:48:42,833 They never think about lesbians. 784 00:48:42,857 --> 00:48:44,391 I do, sometimes. 785 00:48:44,424 --> 00:48:46,627 In a cool way or in a weird way? 786 00:48:46,660 --> 00:48:47,762 Um... 787 00:48:59,606 --> 00:49:01,608 We need more booze! 788 00:49:01,642 --> 00:49:03,377 We need more booze! 789 00:49:03,410 --> 00:49:05,312 We need more booze! 790 00:49:05,345 --> 00:49:06,613 Booze! 791 00:49:08,983 --> 00:49:10,550 Let's get more booze. 792 00:49:10,584 --> 00:49:12,319 Let's get more booze. 793 00:49:17,391 --> 00:49:19,226 Enough with the pointing. 794 00:49:19,259 --> 00:49:21,328 Oh. Another victim, guys! 795 00:49:22,429 --> 00:49:24,364 What are we, serial killers? 796 00:49:24,398 --> 00:49:25,933 "Victim" is a strong word. 797 00:49:25,967 --> 00:49:27,300 How would you say it? 798 00:49:28,736 --> 00:49:30,337 You're my victim. 799 00:49:30,370 --> 00:49:31,638 Now I'm just aroused. 800 00:49:31,672 --> 00:49:33,875 - Oh, my god, that's dark! - What? 801 00:49:33,908 --> 00:49:35,475 "I'm a victim." 802 00:49:35,509 --> 00:49:36,989 - Nick, stop! Ew! - That's disgusting. 803 00:49:40,647 --> 00:49:42,683 I just had everything replaced. 804 00:49:42,717 --> 00:49:44,284 She's sexy, ain't she? 805 00:49:46,253 --> 00:49:48,588 There's no way this can go well. 806 00:49:48,622 --> 00:49:51,224 It's truly an impossibility. 807 00:49:51,491 --> 00:49:53,627 I just came in this morning from the city. 808 00:49:53,961 --> 00:49:55,997 Figured today would be a perfect day 809 00:49:56,030 --> 00:49:58,733 to feel the wind rip through your hair. 810 00:50:02,302 --> 00:50:04,371 If you think she's sexy on the outside, 811 00:50:04,404 --> 00:50:06,774 you should really see what she's like on the inside. 812 00:50:07,574 --> 00:50:09,509 She's got a brand new... 813 00:50:12,279 --> 00:50:15,016 Engine. New sound system, too. 814 00:50:15,049 --> 00:50:17,284 She's just, like, toyed right now. 815 00:50:20,955 --> 00:50:24,658 - This is your car? - Howdy it is, dude! 816 00:50:24,691 --> 00:50:26,359 You sure about that? 817 00:50:26,393 --> 00:50:29,229 Because the last time I checked it was my car. 818 00:50:30,865 --> 00:50:32,834 The Cleveland diesel. 819 00:50:34,936 --> 00:50:37,805 If she's gonna put all her energy into this bit 820 00:50:37,839 --> 00:50:39,807 it's gonna get stale quick. 821 00:50:39,841 --> 00:50:42,375 I just want a drink! 822 00:50:43,811 --> 00:50:47,715 Did you talk with her yet? About your feelsies? 823 00:50:47,749 --> 00:50:48,850 Not yet. 824 00:50:51,018 --> 00:50:52,854 I'm gonna to tell her for you. 825 00:50:54,387 --> 00:50:56,690 You can't slip past me! I'm Cleveland d! 826 00:50:56,724 --> 00:50:58,334 - That's a stupid fucking name. - What's yours? 827 00:50:58,358 --> 00:50:59,593 - Jasper. - Casper. 828 00:50:59,626 --> 00:51:01,394 Jasper. 829 00:51:01,428 --> 00:51:03,831 Jasper the friendly joke! That's a stupid ass name. 830 00:51:03,865 --> 00:51:05,565 Get out of here with that business! 831 00:51:05,599 --> 00:51:08,035 I sold you this fucking car! You know what, fuck you! 832 00:51:08,069 --> 00:51:10,872 - There it is. - Should we do something? 833 00:51:11,638 --> 00:51:12,740 Probably. 834 00:51:13,440 --> 00:51:15,777 I can't be old and a pussy either. 835 00:51:15,810 --> 00:51:17,879 I thought ugly girls are supposed to make up 836 00:51:17,912 --> 00:51:19,346 for their looks. 837 00:51:19,379 --> 00:51:20,982 I'm so sorry about that. 838 00:51:21,015 --> 00:51:25,485 She's my brother's sister's girlfriend. 839 00:51:26,453 --> 00:51:28,956 - Nice. - Who are these guys? 840 00:51:29,623 --> 00:51:33,027 - Losers. Bunch of losers. - Exactly. 841 00:51:33,060 --> 00:51:35,730 A bunch of fucking losers. 842 00:51:40,534 --> 00:51:42,636 Enough with the po- 843 00:51:42,669 --> 00:51:44,739 I didn't do anything! 844 00:51:44,772 --> 00:51:46,573 I'm gonna throw up. 845 00:52:05,392 --> 00:52:06,660 You okay? 846 00:52:06,693 --> 00:52:08,428 I should've had a better comeback! 847 00:52:11,431 --> 00:52:13,000 You're a loser! 848 00:52:13,034 --> 00:52:14,936 Couldn't say that, I was just pointing at him! 849 00:52:14,969 --> 00:52:16,570 Pointing at his face! 850 00:52:17,071 --> 00:52:18,906 Could've said "you're a loser." 851 00:52:18,940 --> 00:52:21,608 - Is my phone back there? - No! Froze up! 852 00:52:21,641 --> 00:52:24,712 Froze up! I'm stronger than that! 853 00:52:28,049 --> 00:52:31,886 - I left it at the house. - At Charlie's? 854 00:52:31,919 --> 00:52:33,420 Yes, at Charlie's. 855 00:52:33,453 --> 00:52:36,057 Fuck. I don't want to go back there. 856 00:52:36,090 --> 00:52:38,491 Oh, come on dude. It wasn't that bad! 857 00:52:39,426 --> 00:52:40,594 It was so bad! 858 00:52:44,966 --> 00:52:46,901 What are you talking about? 859 00:53:11,625 --> 00:53:12,793 I love you. 860 00:53:13,294 --> 00:53:14,862 What's not to like about him? 861 00:53:15,595 --> 00:53:17,464 Okay. 862 00:53:17,497 --> 00:53:20,101 - Can we roll down the windows? - You're being kind of rude. 863 00:53:20,400 --> 00:53:22,904 Jasper, do you honestly think he thought we were in some band? 864 00:53:22,937 --> 00:53:24,571 - No! - Yes, you did! 865 00:53:24,604 --> 00:53:26,774 I didn't, because he told me last night! 866 00:53:38,219 --> 00:53:39,686 Hey. 867 00:54:39,579 --> 00:54:41,749 - Finding everything on? - Oh, shit! 868 00:54:41,782 --> 00:54:43,784 That jacket suits you. 869 00:54:43,818 --> 00:54:46,619 It's very... Madonna. 870 00:54:47,888 --> 00:54:50,257 - Dude, I'm so sorry. - It's all good. 871 00:54:50,623 --> 00:54:51,959 You can keep it. 872 00:54:53,294 --> 00:54:54,527 Is this yours? 873 00:54:54,561 --> 00:54:57,098 Well, it was. 874 00:55:02,602 --> 00:55:06,107 And that right there, see? 875 00:55:07,308 --> 00:55:10,044 That's pocket hot dog. 876 00:55:13,748 --> 00:55:15,615 - Yeah. - Yeah. 877 00:55:16,717 --> 00:55:18,651 Dude, I'm so fucking sorry. 878 00:55:18,685 --> 00:55:21,722 You lied about being in a band. 879 00:55:21,756 --> 00:55:23,623 It was my band. 880 00:55:26,727 --> 00:55:29,163 Wait. You guys came up to us. 881 00:55:29,196 --> 00:55:30,931 We did, yeah. 882 00:55:32,233 --> 00:55:34,969 - What was that all about? - I know. 883 00:55:35,002 --> 00:55:36,837 We did a shitty thing. 884 00:55:37,738 --> 00:55:40,741 I don't know, you guys... 885 00:55:40,975 --> 00:55:44,611 You reminded me of me and all the crazy, stupid shit 886 00:55:44,644 --> 00:55:46,914 I used to do when I was your age. 887 00:55:48,783 --> 00:55:52,086 - Sorry, I was dishonest. - So none of that was real. 888 00:55:52,119 --> 00:55:53,754 You guys thinking we were somebody else 889 00:55:53,788 --> 00:55:55,165 and the store owner catching us stealing... 890 00:55:55,189 --> 00:55:59,193 No, the store owner... That was all real. 891 00:55:59,226 --> 00:56:01,962 I've never seen this dude before in my life. 892 00:56:02,763 --> 00:56:04,131 So, wait. 893 00:56:04,165 --> 00:56:06,200 You just happen to have Herman melville 894 00:56:06,233 --> 00:56:08,035 in your pocket all the time? 895 00:56:08,069 --> 00:56:09,303 I'm a man of many wonders. 896 00:56:10,371 --> 00:56:11,839 What? 897 00:56:13,107 --> 00:56:14,909 What's funny? 898 00:56:15,743 --> 00:56:18,045 That's fucking crazy. That's weird. 899 00:56:18,079 --> 00:56:20,881 It's not crazier than you pretending 900 00:56:20,915 --> 00:56:24,684 to be somebody you're not. That's crazy. 901 00:56:25,820 --> 00:56:30,257 We both lied. We're both weird. 902 00:56:30,291 --> 00:56:32,026 Maybe, yeah. 903 00:56:32,059 --> 00:56:33,794 No, entirely. 904 00:56:34,295 --> 00:56:36,797 I just wanna hang out with like-minded people. 905 00:56:36,831 --> 00:56:38,132 But, um... 906 00:56:38,432 --> 00:56:39,767 What about your wife? 907 00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:42,870 I don't know. She's... 908 00:56:46,407 --> 00:56:48,675 I told her about the whole idea 909 00:56:48,709 --> 00:56:52,746 of going on this great American road trip, 910 00:56:52,780 --> 00:56:56,016 seeing all the sights, taking it all in, 911 00:56:56,050 --> 00:56:59,120 meeting like-minded people, 912 00:56:59,153 --> 00:57:04,158 seeing if maybe they wanted to come along for the journey. 913 00:57:04,191 --> 00:57:07,627 She wasn't too stoked about that. 914 00:57:09,163 --> 00:57:11,932 That's where those two girls come to play? 915 00:57:11,966 --> 00:57:14,135 - Allison and Lindsey? - Yeah. 916 00:57:14,902 --> 00:57:18,139 Yeah, exactly. 917 00:57:18,939 --> 00:57:24,011 We're just lonely people looking for some connection. 918 00:57:24,044 --> 00:57:25,044 You know? 919 00:57:26,981 --> 00:57:27,981 Yeah. 920 00:57:30,084 --> 00:57:31,084 I know. 921 00:57:36,390 --> 00:57:39,692 He told you last night and you didn't tell anyone? 922 00:57:39,727 --> 00:57:42,329 You let us sleep there and... 923 00:57:45,166 --> 00:57:46,901 You should've said something. 924 00:57:48,002 --> 00:57:49,803 I'm gonna look for it back here. 925 00:57:50,971 --> 00:57:51,971 Um... 926 00:58:25,039 --> 00:58:26,774 It went to voicemail. 927 00:58:42,323 --> 00:58:43,824 Oh, god. 928 00:58:45,926 --> 00:58:47,361 I knew it would be a mess. 929 00:58:47,661 --> 00:58:51,131 - Allison! Lindsey! - Relax. 930 00:58:53,968 --> 00:58:55,069 Hey, y'all. 931 00:58:55,803 --> 00:58:57,738 What's going on? 932 00:58:58,138 --> 00:59:00,140 Just a little spat. 933 00:59:00,174 --> 00:59:02,843 - Get the fuck out of my house! - Shit! 934 00:59:02,876 --> 00:59:04,178 God damn it! 935 00:59:07,915 --> 00:59:10,818 I think I left my phone here. 936 00:59:10,851 --> 00:59:12,920 - You're a piece of shit! - Charlie! 937 00:59:12,953 --> 00:59:15,256 Oh my god. Charlie? 938 00:59:15,289 --> 00:59:16,423 They call you Charlie? 939 00:59:17,224 --> 00:59:20,828 Who do you think you are, Charles manson? 940 00:59:20,861 --> 00:59:24,431 His name is ned, you stupid bimbos! 941 00:59:24,465 --> 00:59:28,535 Hey! Women don't have to hate other women 942 00:59:28,569 --> 00:59:31,071 when men are at fault. 943 00:59:31,105 --> 00:59:33,240 - Y'all are angels. - Shut up. 944 00:59:33,274 --> 00:59:36,844 - Charlie! - What do you want? 945 00:59:36,877 --> 00:59:38,479 What do you want me to do? 946 00:59:38,512 --> 00:59:40,881 Can't you see I'm in the middle of something? 947 00:59:40,914 --> 00:59:42,483 Right? I'm in the middle of something. 948 00:59:42,516 --> 00:59:44,952 Go bother somebody else! 949 00:59:44,985 --> 00:59:46,587 You want us to just walk away? 950 00:59:46,620 --> 00:59:49,456 I think that would be a really good idea right now. 951 00:59:49,990 --> 00:59:53,994 You're an asshole. You're not who we thought you were. 952 00:59:55,629 --> 00:59:58,232 I'm exactly what I told you I was! 953 00:59:58,265 --> 00:59:59,533 I'm a revolutionary, man! 954 00:59:59,900 --> 01:00:02,102 - Revolutionary? - Nick! 955 01:00:02,136 --> 01:00:04,972 Since when is careening young girls around 956 01:00:05,005 --> 01:00:07,007 to boost your ego revolutionary? 957 01:00:09,209 --> 01:00:11,845 Since when is walking out on a marriage 958 01:00:11,879 --> 01:00:14,415 for two months to sleep around 959 01:00:14,448 --> 01:00:17,251 with god knows how many women revolutionary? 960 01:00:26,126 --> 01:00:28,195 Um... 961 01:00:29,163 --> 01:00:32,299 You guys have a car... 962 01:00:33,500 --> 01:00:35,569 Can I ride with you? 963 01:00:35,602 --> 01:00:37,638 I'm in something of a pickle here. 964 01:00:37,671 --> 01:00:38,972 - Yeah. - No. 965 01:00:43,644 --> 01:00:45,179 Are you stupid? 966 01:00:45,212 --> 01:00:47,214 I'm not letting that guy into my dad's car. 967 01:00:47,247 --> 01:00:49,149 I'm not stupid. He needs help. 968 01:00:49,183 --> 01:00:51,051 Yeah, apparently. 969 01:00:52,453 --> 01:00:54,421 I'm sorry for that back there. 970 01:00:54,723 --> 01:00:57,124 Before I never see you both ever again, 971 01:00:57,157 --> 01:01:00,194 I just want to come clean and say that... 972 01:01:00,227 --> 01:01:04,465 Shh. What you're about to say... we know. 973 01:01:04,498 --> 01:01:06,066 Let it go unsaid. 974 01:01:07,267 --> 01:01:11,405 It's be a shame if the truth we lived last night were tarnished. 975 01:01:12,473 --> 01:01:14,208 Goodbye, Angus. 976 01:01:21,315 --> 01:01:24,251 Oh, my god! You're disgusting! 977 01:01:25,452 --> 01:01:27,388 I'm sorry! 978 01:01:30,491 --> 01:01:33,327 You can't just call me stupid like that. It's not okay. 979 01:01:33,660 --> 01:01:35,629 Jasper, I didn't mean it like that. 980 01:01:35,662 --> 01:01:37,464 So what did you mean it like? 981 01:01:40,167 --> 01:01:42,069 Can we just go? 982 01:01:42,102 --> 01:01:45,038 Can we leave all this behind and just go to the beach house? 983 01:01:45,072 --> 01:01:46,573 Can you say "I'm sorry?" 984 01:01:51,178 --> 01:01:52,646 What do you want me to say? 985 01:01:52,679 --> 01:01:55,082 I want you to say sorry for calling me stupid. 986 01:01:55,115 --> 01:01:56,483 You're not stupid. 987 01:02:00,254 --> 01:02:02,689 You can't say it, can you? You can't say "I'm sorry." 988 01:02:02,724 --> 01:02:05,993 - Why can't you say it? - Why can't you say you love me? 989 01:02:08,695 --> 01:02:10,431 Wow. Wow. 990 01:02:10,464 --> 01:02:12,699 What the fuck are you even talking about? 991 01:02:12,734 --> 01:02:16,270 I said it in the exact same geographical location! 992 01:02:16,303 --> 01:02:19,173 - You were drunk. - I still meant it! 993 01:02:20,641 --> 01:02:23,343 Okay. If you meant it, then say it again. 994 01:02:24,178 --> 01:02:27,347 For real, if you meant it, then say it again. 995 01:02:27,381 --> 01:02:30,284 I'll start. Jasper, I love you. 996 01:02:33,287 --> 01:02:35,255 - Do you? - Oh, my god. 997 01:02:35,757 --> 01:02:38,559 - I heard your voice message. - What message? 998 01:02:38,592 --> 01:02:40,160 "It wouldn't be a thing 999 01:02:40,194 --> 01:02:41,638 if Jasper wasn't making it such a thing. 1000 01:02:41,662 --> 01:02:43,997 She's been the same since high school. 1001 01:02:44,031 --> 01:02:46,066 It's your fault for thinking she'd grow up." 1002 01:02:46,099 --> 01:02:48,135 What the fuck does that even mean? 1003 01:02:48,168 --> 01:02:51,271 You guys think I'm a kid? And my favorite one, 1004 01:02:51,305 --> 01:02:52,707 "your problems are gonna ruin 1005 01:02:52,740 --> 01:02:55,275 the feng shui of our friendship." 1006 01:02:55,309 --> 01:02:57,377 Am I really being this much of a bother? 1007 01:02:57,411 --> 01:02:59,346 - Jasper, it's not like that. - What's it like? 1008 01:02:59,680 --> 01:03:01,482 What's the hap, cool guys? 1009 01:03:01,515 --> 01:03:04,117 You both called me stupid and fucking immature. 1010 01:03:04,151 --> 01:03:05,586 What the fuck is up? 1011 01:03:11,558 --> 01:03:14,027 Hannah, you really think that I don't love you? 1012 01:03:14,061 --> 01:03:15,773 I believe what I said word for word last night, 1013 01:03:15,797 --> 01:03:17,397 that I fucking love you. 1014 01:03:17,431 --> 01:03:19,231 That was the first time you ever told me that. 1015 01:03:19,399 --> 01:03:21,068 - No it isn't. - Hold up! 1016 01:03:21,101 --> 01:03:22,569 No. 1017 01:03:22,603 --> 01:03:24,538 The amount of time I stick my neck out for you, 1018 01:03:24,571 --> 01:03:27,574 - I fucking follow you around... - You're your own person! 1019 01:03:27,608 --> 01:03:28,743 I am not your keeper! 1020 01:03:28,776 --> 01:03:31,445 You are so fucking... 1021 01:03:31,478 --> 01:03:33,213 - Stupid? - Yes! 1022 01:03:33,247 --> 01:03:36,650 You are being stupid! You are being so stupid, Jasper! 1023 01:03:44,691 --> 01:03:46,126 What are you doing? 1024 01:03:46,159 --> 01:03:47,729 Sorry, Charlie. 1025 01:03:53,433 --> 01:03:55,569 Guys? I think we should go. 1026 01:03:55,602 --> 01:03:57,772 How many times have we slept together? 1027 01:03:58,171 --> 01:04:00,742 How many times have we gone out together? 1028 01:04:01,375 --> 01:04:03,745 You told me that you love me one time. 1029 01:04:04,144 --> 01:04:05,813 That was last night. 1030 01:04:06,580 --> 01:04:08,415 That is what's stupid. 1031 01:04:08,750 --> 01:04:12,486 Sorry, I didn't mean to call you stupid, dumb, or whatever, 1032 01:04:12,519 --> 01:04:15,389 but you're acting like it. 1033 01:04:17,558 --> 01:04:19,092 If this didn't get brought up to you, 1034 01:04:19,126 --> 01:04:20,470 you wouldn't have thought twice about us. 1035 01:04:20,494 --> 01:04:23,096 - Yes I would! - No, you wouldn't have. 1036 01:04:23,130 --> 01:04:25,432 Because you act like a fucking child. 1037 01:04:25,465 --> 01:04:26,801 You don't care! 1038 01:04:26,834 --> 01:04:29,503 You fucking deal drugs to teenagers, 1039 01:04:29,536 --> 01:04:32,272 and you're comfortable doing nothing with your life, Jasper. 1040 01:04:36,209 --> 01:04:37,320 You think you're fucking better than me? 1041 01:04:37,344 --> 01:04:38,746 I never said that. 1042 01:04:38,780 --> 01:04:41,816 You live in the same town. You never left. 1043 01:04:41,849 --> 01:04:43,450 You live off of money you don't earn! 1044 01:04:43,483 --> 01:04:45,485 Selling money isn't really earning money! 1045 01:04:45,519 --> 01:04:47,354 But it is, though! 1046 01:04:47,387 --> 01:04:49,265 At least I'm not asking dad for money when I'm in a tight spot, 1047 01:04:49,289 --> 01:04:52,426 or borrowing his car or going to his fucking beach house! 1048 01:04:52,961 --> 01:04:55,596 You think you're such a fucking grown-up, 1049 01:04:55,629 --> 01:04:57,664 but at the end of the day you're some spoiled brat 1050 01:04:57,698 --> 01:05:00,768 who thinks she's entitled to anything that comes her way. 1051 01:05:00,802 --> 01:05:04,204 How about we stop all this because we need to go. 1052 01:05:04,237 --> 01:05:06,373 Nick, shut the fuck up! 1053 01:05:08,776 --> 01:05:10,344 All you've done this whole vacation 1054 01:05:10,377 --> 01:05:12,145 is fucking complain and get blackout drunk. 1055 01:05:12,179 --> 01:05:13,614 You want to talk about me? 1056 01:05:13,647 --> 01:05:15,282 I do want to fucking talk about you. 1057 01:05:15,315 --> 01:05:17,684 Fuck, man! Now you got me involved in this shit! 1058 01:05:17,719 --> 01:05:19,653 Jasper, fuck that! 1059 01:05:21,455 --> 01:05:23,290 When I'm saying I'm not about something, 1060 01:05:23,323 --> 01:05:25,692 I'm not making that decision arbitrarily. 1061 01:05:25,727 --> 01:05:27,895 How do you think it looks having me running around, 1062 01:05:27,929 --> 01:05:30,230 stealing and scheming and shit? 1063 01:05:30,263 --> 01:05:32,366 I'm not some cute little white girl, Jasper! 1064 01:05:32,934 --> 01:05:36,403 We're in a fantasy land full of bright colors and fun, 1065 01:05:36,436 --> 01:05:39,339 but my bounds will always be narrower than yours. 1066 01:05:39,373 --> 01:05:42,275 Don't guilt me for putting my wellbeing first. 1067 01:05:43,310 --> 01:05:46,313 This whole vacation I just wanted to hang out with my friends 1068 01:05:46,346 --> 01:05:48,682 and not do stupid shit that, like I said before, 1069 01:05:48,716 --> 01:05:51,385 will result in something dumb like this. 1070 01:05:51,953 --> 01:05:55,656 Excuse me when you two bicker about your unrequited love. 1071 01:05:56,657 --> 01:05:58,659 Kendra, open the door! 1072 01:05:58,692 --> 01:06:02,596 Fuck me. You guys never listen to me anyway. 1073 01:06:07,735 --> 01:06:10,470 Guys, just leave me the fuck alone. Okay? 1074 01:06:30,457 --> 01:06:32,392 So... all right. 1075 01:06:38,733 --> 01:06:41,301 No? All right. 1076 01:06:41,334 --> 01:06:42,870 How about this? 1077 01:06:42,904 --> 01:06:45,940 Why don't we go to the beach and have some drinks? 1078 01:06:45,973 --> 01:06:50,243 Kick back in the sand, hang out, chill... 1079 01:06:50,677 --> 01:06:53,547 Vibe, sand... no? 1080 01:06:54,214 --> 01:06:56,984 It's supposed to be beautiful the rest of the day. 1081 01:07:02,489 --> 01:07:04,691 We're going back to the beach house. 1082 01:07:12,834 --> 01:07:14,869 Oh, come on! 1083 01:07:21,374 --> 01:07:23,376 Those fucking bitches, dude! 1084 01:07:23,410 --> 01:07:25,312 Calling me immature? Me? 1085 01:07:25,345 --> 01:07:28,482 She still lives with her dad but I'm the child, right? 1086 01:07:30,317 --> 01:07:33,788 Best friends, dude, we were best fucking friends. 1087 01:07:33,821 --> 01:07:37,357 And Nick? Don't even get me started, man. 1088 01:07:37,390 --> 01:07:39,626 It's not like we forced him to do anything! 1089 01:07:39,659 --> 01:07:40,995 We're a bunch of shit heads. 1090 01:07:41,028 --> 01:07:42,072 I don't understand why everything has to be 1091 01:07:42,096 --> 01:07:43,630 so fucking serious all the time. 1092 01:07:44,198 --> 01:07:46,901 Despite my marriage falling apart 1093 01:07:46,934 --> 01:07:50,637 and my only travel companions seeing me as a piece of shit 1094 01:07:50,670 --> 01:07:53,540 and my wife, soon to be ex, burning all my things, 1095 01:07:53,573 --> 01:07:55,642 including but not limited to 1096 01:07:55,675 --> 01:07:58,545 the last 20 years of my life in photos that tmz 1097 01:07:58,578 --> 01:08:00,514 will no longer have access to 1098 01:08:00,547 --> 01:08:03,583 when my inevitable rise to infamy 1099 01:08:03,617 --> 01:08:05,820 results in my inevitable downfall 1100 01:08:05,853 --> 01:08:09,824 because of drug usage and the mental strain 1101 01:08:09,857 --> 01:08:11,993 of celebrity status! 1102 01:08:13,895 --> 01:08:17,932 Yeah! Your fucking friends, man. They screwed you. They suck. 1103 01:08:17,965 --> 01:08:21,068 I didn't cause your life to implode on itself, 1104 01:08:21,102 --> 01:08:22,970 - you did that. - Thank you! 1105 01:08:23,436 --> 01:08:25,539 - What? - I'm just saying 1106 01:08:25,572 --> 01:08:28,810 that you could be a little more sensitive to my situation. 1107 01:08:29,342 --> 01:08:31,946 - Your situation? - Yeah, my situation. 1108 01:08:31,979 --> 01:08:35,850 - You cheated on your wife! - No, I did not. 1109 01:08:35,883 --> 01:08:38,318 Well, she thinks you did. 1110 01:08:40,855 --> 01:08:42,857 Okay. But only a little. 1111 01:08:43,191 --> 01:08:44,859 Only a little? 1112 01:08:44,892 --> 01:08:46,828 Do you ever take responsibility for your actions? 1113 01:08:46,861 --> 01:08:49,764 - Do you? - Fuck, yes, I do! 1114 01:08:50,697 --> 01:08:51,732 God! 1115 01:08:52,867 --> 01:08:54,501 Don't give me that look, ned! 1116 01:08:55,236 --> 01:08:58,105 I take responsibility for my own bullshit. 1117 01:08:58,139 --> 01:09:01,575 - I know when I'm wrong! - Then where are your friends? 1118 01:09:02,777 --> 01:09:04,477 Why aren't they here? 1119 01:09:08,548 --> 01:09:11,018 'Cause I know where my wife is. 1120 01:09:11,052 --> 01:09:14,956 She's back home probably either laughing wildly 1121 01:09:14,989 --> 01:09:19,026 at my burned things or she's inside, 1122 01:09:21,128 --> 01:09:23,064 alone and crying... 1123 01:09:26,100 --> 01:09:27,802 Because of me. 1124 01:09:32,974 --> 01:09:34,641 What are you gonna do? 1125 01:09:42,449 --> 01:09:43,918 I don't know, man. 1126 01:09:44,551 --> 01:09:48,555 Maybe I'll take that trip, see the world, 1127 01:09:48,588 --> 01:09:50,958 find those like-minded people, you know? 1128 01:09:51,424 --> 01:09:54,128 Wait, you're not gonna go back to her? 1129 01:09:56,030 --> 01:09:57,564 You're such an asshole! 1130 01:09:57,597 --> 01:09:59,599 You have to go back and say something! 1131 01:09:59,633 --> 01:10:02,937 You didn't say something to what's-her-name. 1132 01:10:02,970 --> 01:10:04,671 - Hannah. - Hannah, right. 1133 01:10:04,705 --> 01:10:06,073 You didn't say something to her. 1134 01:10:06,107 --> 01:10:08,175 You're being a little hypocritical right now. 1135 01:10:08,209 --> 01:10:11,578 No one is asking you, okay? It's different. 1136 01:10:11,846 --> 01:10:12,947 How? 1137 01:10:13,446 --> 01:10:16,650 You were married, Charlie. Married! 1138 01:10:16,683 --> 01:10:19,186 We weren't even together. We weren't even official! 1139 01:10:21,655 --> 01:10:23,724 Wouldn't they think that's your fault? 1140 01:10:23,758 --> 01:10:26,060 No! It's not my fault! 1141 01:10:26,093 --> 01:10:28,863 I shouldn't be forced to be something that I'm not! 1142 01:10:30,865 --> 01:10:34,101 The whole label thing, I just can't do it. 1143 01:10:34,135 --> 01:10:38,239 You put a label on. You have to go and fix it! 1144 01:10:38,272 --> 01:10:41,574 In what scenario does someone repeatedly break someone's heart 1145 01:10:41,608 --> 01:10:43,945 and still end up together and happy? 1146 01:10:43,978 --> 01:10:45,478 Like nothing ever happened, 1147 01:10:45,512 --> 01:10:46,914 like all is right with the world? 1148 01:10:46,948 --> 01:10:48,682 You're not even gonna try? 1149 01:10:55,256 --> 01:10:56,656 Nope. 1150 01:10:57,925 --> 01:10:59,226 Charlie, she cried for you, dude. 1151 01:10:59,260 --> 01:11:02,129 And she lit my stuff on fire! 1152 01:11:02,163 --> 01:11:05,232 Passionately! She set the fire ablaze with a passion! 1153 01:11:05,266 --> 01:11:06,834 Come on! 1154 01:11:06,867 --> 01:11:08,387 Imma set this bowl ablaze with passion. 1155 01:11:15,977 --> 01:11:17,912 Resin. Oh. 1156 01:11:17,945 --> 01:11:20,181 Fuck. 1157 01:11:20,214 --> 01:11:22,783 Look, as it stands, 1158 01:11:22,817 --> 01:11:25,186 we're both stuck here, 1159 01:11:25,219 --> 01:11:27,755 eating this poop sandwich 1160 01:11:27,788 --> 01:11:30,858 we so beautifully prepared for ourselves. 1161 01:11:30,891 --> 01:11:33,894 - Poop sandwich? - Let's just hang out! 1162 01:11:34,462 --> 01:11:38,866 We can get stoned and hit the road. 1163 01:11:38,899 --> 01:11:40,968 Take that big American road trip, 1164 01:11:41,002 --> 01:11:43,503 go find those like-minded people. 1165 01:11:44,705 --> 01:11:46,539 Kinda like us. 1166 01:11:46,573 --> 01:11:49,542 You know Charlie, I don't think we're very like-minded. 1167 01:11:49,576 --> 01:11:52,813 You're just standing here smoking dirty resin. 1168 01:11:53,280 --> 01:11:55,116 You can't even face yourself, man. 1169 01:11:56,751 --> 01:11:59,220 You lied your way into my home last night 1170 01:11:59,253 --> 01:12:01,188 because you weren't happy with who you were. 1171 01:12:01,222 --> 01:12:04,258 - That's not true. - Then what was it? 1172 01:12:04,524 --> 01:12:08,896 People who like themselves don't pretend to be other people. 1173 01:12:11,766 --> 01:12:14,101 Don't act like we're any different. 1174 01:12:14,135 --> 01:12:17,604 You run away from your problems, and so do I. 1175 01:12:21,742 --> 01:12:23,177 Well, not anymore. 1176 01:12:24,145 --> 01:12:26,113 Oh, come on now! 1177 01:12:26,714 --> 01:12:27,714 At least... 1178 01:12:29,250 --> 01:12:31,318 At least take my number. 1179 01:12:42,797 --> 01:12:47,201 Here. Hold that for a second. 1180 01:12:48,668 --> 01:12:51,604 Oh, sweet, sweet resin. 1181 01:13:02,950 --> 01:13:03,951 There you go. 1182 01:13:08,889 --> 01:13:13,094 Shoot me a call if you change your mind. 1183 01:13:15,229 --> 01:13:16,696 I won't. 1184 01:13:19,366 --> 01:13:21,335 You won't call me or won't change your mind? 1185 01:13:21,368 --> 01:13:23,670 - Both. Neither. - What? 1186 01:13:23,703 --> 01:13:25,172 Whatever I want. 1187 01:13:39,186 --> 01:13:42,056 - Hannah, pull over! - What? 1188 01:13:42,923 --> 01:13:44,959 I'm gonna throw up. 1189 01:13:45,292 --> 01:13:48,028 I don't wanna throw up in the dadillac. Pull over! 1190 01:13:48,062 --> 01:13:50,297 - Okay, shit. - Pull over! 1191 01:14:16,924 --> 01:14:18,359 Is that my phone? 1192 01:14:19,760 --> 01:14:22,695 - Yeah. - Who is it? 1193 01:14:30,738 --> 01:14:32,339 No one. 1194 01:14:32,373 --> 01:14:35,009 What do you mean, "no one?" It's my phone. Who was it? 1195 01:14:37,745 --> 01:14:39,246 It was your mom. 1196 01:14:45,819 --> 01:14:48,122 She's the worst. 1197 01:14:48,155 --> 01:14:50,291 She's your mom. Why is she the worst? 1198 01:14:53,160 --> 01:14:56,197 She forces me to pay for college and apparently 1199 01:14:56,230 --> 01:14:58,265 I'm up to my cheeks in bills I can't pay 1200 01:14:58,299 --> 01:15:01,701 that I didn't ask for. It's not what I wanna do. 1201 01:15:02,269 --> 01:15:03,971 What do you wanna do? 1202 01:15:04,572 --> 01:15:07,875 I don't know. I need time to figure it out. 1203 01:15:08,275 --> 01:15:10,344 Isn't that what college is for? 1204 01:15:14,815 --> 01:15:16,283 It's gonna pay off. 1205 01:15:16,517 --> 01:15:19,220 You're going to grad school. That's like an immediate job. 1206 01:15:19,253 --> 01:15:22,289 I don't wanna go to grad school, degrees don't mean shit. 1207 01:15:22,323 --> 01:15:24,825 Don't be an idiot. To some people they do. 1208 01:15:27,061 --> 01:15:29,430 Why didn't you go? You could've went. 1209 01:15:30,397 --> 01:15:32,132 I didn't want to. 1210 01:15:32,166 --> 01:15:35,236 Then don't call me an idiot for not wanting to go. 1211 01:15:36,003 --> 01:15:37,071 Right. 1212 01:15:42,943 --> 01:15:45,946 Did you not want to go because of Jasper? 1213 01:15:49,350 --> 01:15:52,019 I didn't go because nobody forced me to go. 1214 01:15:53,120 --> 01:15:55,122 Nobody knew better than me. 1215 01:15:55,656 --> 01:15:58,959 At least nobody posed themselves to know better than me. 1216 01:16:04,064 --> 01:16:05,199 You good? 1217 01:16:06,467 --> 01:16:07,968 I hope. 1218 01:16:16,043 --> 01:16:18,312 - You gotta hold it. - Thank you, I know. 1219 01:16:18,345 --> 01:16:19,913 I'm holding it. 1220 01:18:10,624 --> 01:18:12,626 Please leave your message for... 1221 01:18:12,659 --> 01:18:14,395 Hey, it's Hannah. 1222 01:18:14,763 --> 01:18:16,964 You know what to do. 1223 01:18:18,265 --> 01:18:19,299 Stupid. 1224 01:18:56,470 --> 01:18:58,172 Oh. Oh. 1225 01:19:04,779 --> 01:19:06,980 Ah. Okay. 1226 01:19:07,014 --> 01:19:08,549 Tried and true. Tried and true. 1227 01:19:13,687 --> 01:19:14,955 Oh! 1228 01:19:16,290 --> 01:19:17,424 Oh! 1229 01:19:17,458 --> 01:19:18,992 Oh, fuck! 1230 01:19:19,026 --> 01:19:20,026 Oh, fuck! 1231 01:19:22,296 --> 01:19:24,364 Jasper! What the fuck was that? 1232 01:19:24,766 --> 01:19:26,533 I didn't think that would happen! 1233 01:19:26,567 --> 01:19:28,602 They do it all the time in the movies! 1234 01:19:28,635 --> 01:19:31,438 I'm so sorry! 1235 01:19:31,472 --> 01:19:33,974 - That sucks! - What are you doing here? 1236 01:19:35,142 --> 01:19:37,077 I don't know, man. 1237 01:19:37,311 --> 01:19:39,513 I know that I really wanna talk to you. 1238 01:19:40,681 --> 01:19:43,083 We came here together, right? 1239 01:19:46,487 --> 01:19:49,423 - Do you wanna come in? - Obviously! 1240 01:20:01,568 --> 01:20:02,703 Hey. 1241 01:20:04,671 --> 01:20:06,306 Hi. 1242 01:20:42,710 --> 01:20:44,511 Hannah, I'm really sorry. 1243 01:20:49,717 --> 01:20:51,351 I'm sorry. 1244 01:20:51,853 --> 01:20:54,254 I shouldn't have called you names. 1245 01:20:55,723 --> 01:20:58,292 I should've told you that I loved you more. 1246 01:20:58,692 --> 01:21:00,561 So let me give you... 1247 01:21:04,799 --> 01:21:07,167 You know everything is gonna be fine, right? 1248 01:21:08,702 --> 01:21:12,472 I don't know if things can go back to the way they were, 1249 01:21:13,340 --> 01:21:16,443 but if they can, I really hope that they do. 1250 01:21:30,257 --> 01:21:31,525 And if they can't? 1251 01:21:58,786 --> 01:22:01,288 Should I get the shrimp or the steak? 1252 01:22:01,321 --> 01:22:03,825 Enough with the shrimp or the steak thing! It's morning. 1253 01:22:03,858 --> 01:22:05,626 You gonna catch salmonella, dude. 1254 01:22:05,659 --> 01:22:07,795 You don't catch salmonella, it's not like the flu. 1255 01:22:07,829 --> 01:22:10,364 You're gonna get salmonella, then. 1256 01:22:11,733 --> 01:22:14,836 Why? Why, Jasper? 1257 01:22:14,869 --> 01:22:17,204 You know exactly why. 1258 01:22:18,372 --> 01:22:20,641 How is everyone this morning? 1259 01:22:22,476 --> 01:22:24,211 Oh, god... 1260 01:22:24,244 --> 01:22:26,246 Hello, love! I was wondering 1261 01:22:26,279 --> 01:22:27,858 what your favorite thing on the menu was. 1262 01:22:27,882 --> 01:22:30,752 Great! The funny people are back. 1263 01:22:30,785 --> 01:22:32,519 Can I get the sea biscuit? 1264 01:22:32,552 --> 01:22:34,187 Seabiscuit's a horse! 1265 01:22:34,221 --> 01:22:34,922 They serve horse here? 1266 01:22:34,956 --> 01:22:36,223 Yeah! 1267 01:22:37,925 --> 01:22:40,694 Can I get 14 hot dogs? 1268 01:22:47,969 --> 01:22:50,905 Do you ever wonder how things are gonna turn out for us? 1269 01:22:50,938 --> 01:22:53,540 If we're making the right choices or not? 1270 01:22:53,573 --> 01:22:56,376 How you made a choice to order fish at a diner? 1271 01:22:56,410 --> 01:22:58,980 Or how you made the choice to get food poisoning? 1272 01:22:59,013 --> 01:23:00,782 Or how you two decided to be dicks to me 1273 01:23:00,815 --> 01:23:01,615 and I could steal the dadillac 1274 01:23:01,648 --> 01:23:02,968 and leave your asses here forever. 1275 01:23:03,918 --> 01:23:05,853 - You wouldn't do that. - Big talk. 1276 01:23:05,887 --> 01:23:07,722 Seriously. 1277 01:23:07,755 --> 01:23:09,489 Do you ever think we'll know 1278 01:23:09,523 --> 01:23:11,625 if we're making the right choices or not? 1279 01:23:32,013 --> 01:23:33,246 No. 1280 01:23:48,896 --> 01:23:51,431 Dude! You've got a long enough joint? 1281 01:23:51,465 --> 01:23:52,934 Don't smoke weed in the car! 1282 01:23:53,567 --> 01:23:54,668 Don't...! 1283 01:24:45,887 --> 01:24:48,288 Oh, I wanna smoke, you guys. 1284 01:24:49,090 --> 01:24:52,359 The one with the long legs usually wins. 1285 01:24:52,392 --> 01:24:53,560 - Yeah? - That's me. 1286 01:24:53,593 --> 01:24:55,395 Prove it! 1287 01:24:55,428 --> 01:24:58,632 Guys, I think you're going too fast for the slow mo. 1288 01:24:58,665 --> 01:25:01,334 Maybe you guys should slow down. 1289 01:25:01,368 --> 01:25:03,670 I'm just using my leg extenders. 1290 01:25:03,703 --> 01:25:05,405 Yes! 1291 01:25:05,438 --> 01:25:07,108 She's in the lead! 1292 01:25:07,141 --> 01:25:08,876 They fell for her fucking trick! 1293 01:25:08,910 --> 01:25:11,411 - No! - They're such idiots! 1294 01:25:11,444 --> 01:25:13,547 What up, bitch! 1295 01:25:13,580 --> 01:25:14,849 In overdrive, now. 1296 01:25:14,882 --> 01:25:17,317 Daddy long legs. 1297 01:25:17,985 --> 01:25:20,520 That should be your porn name or something. 87822