Original subtitles

♪ So what if you

♪ can't touch the sky

♪ it doesn't mean

♪ you shouldn't try

♪ do you wanna fly?

♪ Ooh-ooh, do you wanna fly? ♪

I know what you're thinking.

Did he spray six times, or only five?

But to tell you the truth,

in this excitement, I've kind of lost track myself.

But the most powerful spray-gun in Bobby's garden centre could blow your buds off,

so you've gotta ask yourself one question. "Do I feel lucky?"

"Well, do you, skunk"?

We'll get your ba-ba, baby. Oh! Daddy.

Did she just call you "daddy"? Did you? Did you call Jimmy "daddy"?

Say it! Say "dadda!". Dadda. Say "daddy!". Daddy.

Ye're gonnae be late, hurry up. What's the matter, Jimmy?

Nothin'.

Sorry I had a go at you the other night.

I didnae mean to take it out on you.

Nae worries.

Better crack on. I'm running late.

Fancy a beer some time?

Aye, we'll dae that.

You don't regret any of this, do you? Dummy?

Us moving in together, I mean? Do you?

No!

It's just... I see the way you look at Chloe sometimes.

I wonder if you're as happy as me.

Claire, I love Chloe to bits, you know that!

It's just, I'm trying no' to get too attached.

Some day she'll find out I'm no' her real da.

She might not feel the same about me.

You're gonnae be late. Away you go.

We'll talk about it later, ok? Aye.

If I die before you, make sure they cremate me?

Thought catholics couldnae get cremated. Can if we want.

Does that not fuck you for getting into heaven?

Don't care. Better than bein' et by maggots.

(Yawns)

D'you think there is a heaven? Is there fuck!

Once you die, that's it. End of story. Nae heaven, nae hell, nae grand scheme of things.

Ye're here for one reason only: To pass on your genes.

Piss in your jeans. (Giggles)

Better get goin', darlin'.

See you later.

Are you walking down to Manchester? Eh?

Your tickets.

Oh, Christ!

Eddie.

You're fine.

Grand.

Okay, darlin'.

You two are up early. Goin' tae a funeral.

No' going like that, are ye?

Don't start! It's all he's got that's black!

Could ye no' turn it inside out?

That's whit I said!

You two would give trinny and susannah a run for their money!

Here, haud that!

There. Happy?

Hiya. A'right?

Look... em...

The other day there... I didnae mean what I said.

I... it was out of order.

I... I got this for the wean.

Oh, and, em... That's one of they things you like.

You better come in and gie her it.

(Cries)

What you doing, you bloody half-wit?

I'm sorry.

If it wasnae that, it'd be something else.

That's mother-in-laws for you.

Should you no' be at work?

Well, I suppose so, aye.

See you later, Jimmy.

There you go!

Look, who's that? Baby bear!

Do you never tidy up?

I can manage!

Aye, it looks like it (!)

Gonnae just leave it, Alice?

Suit yourself.

You want to live in a pigsty, that's up to you.

Cycle bell

(Sighs)

Listen, I know you're angry at me, hen, but...

I cannae believe you cheated on my da.

No' like you think!

Ye were wi' another guy while he had a heart attack!

Ye stayin' wi' him?

I'd nowhere else.

You told da it was finished!

It is, Tracey! It's only till I find somewhere to stay!

(Sighs)

How is da?

He's smokin' again.

(Sighs)

I've made a right bloody mess of things, haven't I?

(Cries)

Mobile phone

oh, sorry.

No, I'm sorry...

Hi Kyle. I'll phone you back in five minutes.

Okay, bye.

That a new boyfriend?

You got my phone, darlin'?

My da smashed it up.

I put your sim card into my old phone.

Tracey, if you need me for anything, I'm here, all right?

Good funeral, wasn't it?

Aye, wicked. Put me right in the mood for another one (!)

Who were ye talking to at the bar?

Her with the big knockers.

That's his bird.

Ah! So she's single now?

He's no' even cold!

Spark this up and stop bleatin'!

Think it wis bird flu?

Whit was?

That killed him.

They don't know.

Aye, but...

He kept pigeons.

♪ Soft rock

Is there any mair sellotape?

(Laughs) What the fuck's that?

Mr scarecrow! Keep the pigeons aff. Good, isn't it?

No way!

Why no'?

'Cos it's fucking ridiculous!

But there's bird shit!

If I see that on the balcony ye and it are goin' o'er the side!

Can we get a cat?

Oh aye, whit's this, a peace offer frae frank?

Is it hell! They're for you.

For me?

Aye.

"Thinking of you. Love, Gwen."

That is really nice! Nice (?)

It's weird. Who buys flowers for a man?

I'll put them in water.

They're goin' in the bin.

She'll 'a spent a lot on them.

She's got mair money than sense.

Mobile phone

oh aye, talk o' the devil.

Gwen. Hi.

How you doing sweetheart?

Did you get the flowers? Aye, I did.

It was nice o' ye.

Fancy a drink later?

The night? I'd love tae but I'm working sweetheart.

You're not. I called the takeaway, they said you weren't.

Sure? Yeah.

Who did you talk to?

The owner, mr falk. What a nice man.

Right. I'll pick you up at eight.

Adios amigo.

You won't believe this.

She phoned my boss to check if I was working.

Now that is weird!

Take that. Nice one, Jake.

Eh, fuckface isnae a word.

Don't talk shite.

Kyle, tell them.

I think it might be hyphenated.

Can I use your toilet?

Aye, just be careful. I think it might be hyphenated.

(They laugh)

Just ignore them, Kyle.

That is one boring bastard.

Is he a quantity surveyor (?)

He's a police cadet.

Ye aff yer fucking nut, bringin' the polis here?

Half the polis take a smoke.

I don't give a fuck!

Get him oot and don't bring him back!

If we had a baby, wid you still love Chloe? Of course.

Why do you think she'd feel different about you?

'Cause she's gonna grow up thinking I'm her da' and then find out I'm no'.

It's no' easy for me to get ma heid roond.

So maybe I shouldnae tell her.

You've got to.

Why?

She's your daughter.

You cannae keep that fae her.

You widnae say that if you knew who it wis.

Tell me then.

I don't know if I can.

Then don't tell me.

I want to but...

Look, Claire. Whit you did before we got thegether, that's your business.

If you want to tell me that's fine. If you don't want to, that's fine too.

It'll not change how I feel about ye.

It's rab.

Rab Campbell's her da.

Can we talk about it?

Why him?

All the people it could'a been, why him?!

It happened before we met!

I... didnae think it wis gonnae be somebody I knew, who I see every day!

It wis a mistake!

We were drunk.

So drunk that when I met him the next day he said

"you missed a brilliant party last night!"

Don't let this come between us, Jimmy.

A' right, daddy? How's married life?

I'm no' married.

As good as. Look at ye!

Ye wouldnae catch me lookin' efter someone else's wean.

I mean, ye wipe yer own wean's arse, it's bondin',

but if it's someone else's, shite's just shite, isn't it?

See ye later!

Paddy!

How are you?

Who are you?

I'm Alice. Your daughter-in-law!

Alice!

Awright, got it!

Alice, eh?

What's your name?

Alice.

Oh right.

Eh... eh...

Who are you?

I'm Eddie's wife. Alice?

You gonna be long in there? Be oot in a minute!

You've been saying that for half an hour.

Knock on the door

I thought you might fancy that beer? I'm just going out... Frankie, some other time?

Aye well, gie's a shout.

That's the bathroom free!

Bag drops

It's no' what you think, frank.

I know Scott, look, I'm really really sorry, I know I should have phoned, but...

Hello? Come in!

Just things have been a bit hectic, you know?

Listen mate, I'm gonna have to call you back, ok?

Right, speak to you soon, cheers.

Jimmy - this is paddy.

Nice to meet ye. Aye.

This must be... Claire!

She's getting big, eh?

No no no, that's Chloe, that's Claire's wee girl.

(He's a bit... )

That's your great-granddaughter. Chloe: Daddy?

Oh, she's needing her nappy changed!

Who's that boy?

Is that the baby's father? No, he only thinks he is, doesn't he?

Get oot. What?

Get oot. I don't want you in my hoose.

I'm not here to see you, I'm here to see my granddaughter!

Take her then.

Take her to her real dad, maybe he'll look after her?!

Her real da? Aye.

Maybe he can teach her to roll a joint!

Rab Campbell, I bloody knew it! C'mon you. Hey!

Is he throwin' us out?

(Chloe cries)

Door slams

knock on the door

(rab, rab.)

(Jake clears his throat)

Hey!

I want a word wi' you.

♪ My mind keeps spinning in circles ♪

(music blares in background)

Distant siren

I don't think you should hang about wi' rab and Jake. How no'?

They're a bad influence.

You sound like my da'.

Right!

That cow of a mother o' yours is gettin' cosy wi' that arsehole postie.

Where are you goin?

To tell her what I think o' her.

Just leave it. You'll make it worse.

How can I make things worse, hen?

How can things get any worse?

Dad we'll go inside and talk about it, come on.

Come on. We'll go inside, come on.

You want a wee puff o' this?

(Coughs)

You still angry at me?

Claire, I'm just gonnae tell you cos you're gonnae find out sooner or later.

I had a fight wi' your ma earlier.

She knows about rab.

You told her?!

I didnae tell her, she worked it out.

Worked it out! How? What did you say to her?

I trusted you, Jimmy!

What the hell was she thinkin'?

Are you sure he meant rab Campbell?

Aye!

Did he say it was him?

Door slams

that doesnae mean it was!

Have you told rab about Chloe?

It's true then?!

I thought you had mair sense than that.

Of course I didnae tell him.

Didn't want that... Stickin' his nose in!

Well at least we know why you didnae tell us.

I knew you'd be disappointed.

Och, don't be daft hen.

We've all done things we regret.

C'mere.

Door closes

Eight o'clock you said.

I don't like waitin', Archie. Christ Gwen, I'm just out o' casualty wi' a broken nose.

Is this your bit on the side? Hang on!

I stuck my neck out to get you this place, so you better start showing me some respect.

Remember what Gwen giveth, Gwen can taketh away.

Take it easy, look at the state o' me, I'm in agony.

Let's go inside and talk about it? We'll get a wee chat. C'mon inside and do this, eh?

Mouths: She's fuckin' nuts!

Where've you been?

Where do you think?

So how'd it go?

She's not told rab, if that's what you mean.

You telt him, didn't you?

I did nothing of the kind!

I can read you like a book.

Aye? When did you learn to read (?)

Fuck's sake. I'm away for a pint.

Eddie!

I'm sorry.

Very good.

Where are the flowers?

I'd to throw them away.

Why?

Allergic. I didn't like to say.

Ok, forget about the flowers. And introduce me to your friend.

It's my sister, Janet.

Your sister?

Her man's knocking her about.

She's just staying until she finds a place.

Why didn't you tell me that?

You must think I'm neurotic.

No, no, don't be silly.

Listen, you know I don't like to ask, but you couldn't put a word in for Janet, could you?

It's getting kinda cramped in here.

Leave it with me.

I'll see what I can do.

Listen, I've been thinking.

That makes a change.

If we're still together in a year or two, maybe how you'd feel...

I don't believe you!

What?

You pick now to ask me to marry you?!

Could you not have waited till we were talking again?

I wasnae gonna ask you to marry me.

Oh...

I'm sorry.

Sorry.

What was it you were gonna ask me?

I was wondering how you'd feel about me adopting Chloe?

Do you mean it?

We'd be like a proper family.

You've passed on your genes now,

haven't you?

You could throw yersel in the river if you wanted to.

Doesn't matter, cos you've done what you're put here to dae, have you not?

Gonnae do me a favour Jake?

Gonnae leave the existential stuff to me.

How could I have shagged her and no' remember it?!

(Laughs)

♪ the higher you fly

♪ the harder you fall

♪ some roads take you to where you should be

♪ some take you nowhere at all. ♪

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