Original subtitles

♪ So what if you

♪ can't touch the sky

♪ it doesn't mean

♪ you shouldn't try

♪ do you wanna fly?

♪ Ooh-ooh, do you wanna fly? ♪

That George Clooney is a total ride.

He's minging, he's an auld man.

Aye, well, I like older men.

Since when?

If I tell you somehin', do you promise no to say anyhin'?

Aye.

So what age is he, then? 27.

27! So who is he, do I know him?

I'm no' telling you. So I dae know him then?

Have you slept with him yet?

I made you some tea.

Who is he?

Don't play games with me Tracy, I heard you telling Shirley aboot him.

Aye? Well, maybe you shouldn't listen in to people's conversations.

You're right, I shouldn't but it's maybe just as well I did eh?

I did hear you right. You did say he was 27?

So? Tracy, that's nearly the age of your dad.

I don't care, I love him!

Don't be ridiculous.

I dae!

Does he know what age you are?

It's none of your business.

Stop hogging that joint, you.

Can I ask you something?

Oui, bien sur, mon amour.

What does that mean?

Of course my love.

I didnae know you spoke French.

UN peu.

You're just showing aff noo. (Both laugh)

Do you think it's wrang to want mair than your parents had?

Depends I suppose.

If your dad's Bill Gates, you're just being a greedy bastard.

(Both laugh)

I told my ma I want to live in France some day,

but she just laughed at me.

I get that aw the time.

My dad thinks I'm an arse cos I don't want to work the railway wi' him.

"That music's shite, away and get yersel' a real job, son."

I knew you'd understand.

Right. We've got "a doll full of fisters",

"Lenny the lick art king", or "diddy rides again".

Both: "Diddy rides again"!

Knock on the door

if that's her, don't let her in.

I fell out with my ma.

A' right, rab.

She's fell oot with her ma.

She a good ride?

You're obsessed. Is that all you think about?

How'd you like if I asked what auntie Carol's like in bed?

She just lies there like a corpse.

Don't want tae know!

I had to wake her up once to let her know i'd finished.

Watch this. Watch.

(Groans)

Loud fart

(both cheer)

(All laugh)

Can I come into your new hoose when yous move oot?

Whit new hoose?

Whit's she talking aboot?

We're all getting moved oot. Did yous no' get the letters?

Shut it!

You're getting on my fucking tits!

Away back to jail are you?

You're the one who should be fucking locked up!

Fuck this!

Fuck you!

Aye, go on then, dinnae bother bloody coming back!

What?

Would it not be easier just to open your mail?

If you open your mail there's nay going back.

What d'you mean?

Well, your mail's full of bills and shit you don't want, right?

Well, technically, if you've never opened your mail, you've never received your mail.

So...?

So you cannae pay a bill you've never received.

This is it.

What?

"Please find enclosed a disturbance payment allowance."

600 quid!

That's ma spending money for Amsterdam sorted!

Mmmm... aah!

I'd not blame him if he didn't come back.

You're always on his back!

You don't know what I've had to put up with.

You've no idea what it's like raising a child when your man's in jail.

I'm bringing up Chloe on my own.

You've muggins here to babysit.

I'd no help. I turned my back on my hale family for that bugger!

My family made me choose between him and them, I chose him.

What did I get for it?

30 years of misery!

You're no' the only one with dreams and ambitions, you know.

You think this is what I wanted my life to turn out like, eh?

I am 51 years old.

And I'm still changing nappies!

I didn't realise we were such a burden tae ye.

Well, I'm away to ma bed.

Can I stay here the night?

Can ye fuck!

Yer ma'll dae her nut.

Eh, my ma disnae even know I'm here.

Eh, I don't care.

I'm no' going hame.

I'll sleep in the park if I have tae.

Cannae let her sleep in the park. Somehin' could happen.

Please rab.

You wouldnae even have that cheque if it wisnae for me.

Right. Fine. You can sleep on the couch.

Farts loudly

nice and warm for ye.

Knock on the door

knock on the door

sorry darling, I forgot ma keys.

(Sobs)

What's the matter?

Hiya Shirley, it's mrs Farrell. Sorry to phone so late, hen.

Is Tracy wi' you?

I need tae look for a place of my own, da.

My ma disnae want me here.

Oh that's rubbish darling.

Yer ma'd be lost without you.

She so angry a' the time.

She's no' angry at you.

I mean she's no' even angry at me hauf the time.

She's just getting auld.

She's finding it difficult coming to terms with it, that's all.

No. I'm getting in the way.

You need time on your own to sort things out.

Och, we'll be all right.

It might take us a bit of time, but we'll be fine, honest.

I hope you're pleased wi' yersel'.

She's in there crying her eyes oot.

And talking about moving oot.

(Screams)

What's going on?

Tracy didnae come hame last night.

We had a fight.

Oh, you didn't.

I heard her say she was seeing a guy twice her age!

Who is he?

That's what I'm trying to find out.

Is she wi' him?

Of course I phoned the fucking polis!

I've tried all her pals, she's no' wi' any of them.

Right.

Oh for fuck's sake!

How old would you say him down the corridor was?

Whit one? Laurel or Hardy?

The wee one.

I don't know.

Late twinties?

I'm warning you.

If you so much as look at her, I'll cut yer baws aff, and shove them doon yer throat!

This isnae funny.

I'm no' movin' till you say you love me.

Ye can stay there all day!

Do you no' fancy me? You're 15!

If I was 15, it would...

It would be different.

But I love you.

Get oot!

Knock on the door

you stay where you are!

Don't you move.

Farts

have you seen Tracy?

She didnae come hame last night.

Is your wee pal there?

Jake?

Aye.

Eh, no. He's at work.

Well you tell him

if he so much as looks at Tracy,

I'll call the polis on him!

(Whimpers) Okay.

Right. That's it.

Out now!

Fuck, you've got your claes on.

Move.

I will tell you why I'm phoning again officer.

I'm phoning because we're talking here about a 15 year old Lassie who hasnae...

A-a-a!

Whit?

Where've you been?

Your ma's been worried sick!

She said she hasn't seen you since last night.

I told her tae say that so I didnae need to speak to you!

Is that my address book?

Will you stop going through ma stuff?!

Door slams

I'm going to ma bed.

Listen, I'm aff the morra night, do ye fancy daein' somehin' - a wee drive?

I don't know.

Ooohh. Aye alright.

Brilliant. Pick you up roun' the corner? See you later.

Alice, what's wrong?

What's up wi' ye?

I've come oot the house and I cannae remember whit fir?

Jeez Alice, I've done that before. It's nothing.

Whit would you know aboot, mrs bloody perfect.

I'm sorry, hen. So sorry.

I'm doin' that a' the time, I'm snapping at everybody.

I'm bursting into tears for no reason.

Have you been to see your doctor?

Fat lot of good that'd dae.

No, I mean they know a lot more aboot women's stuff, Alice.

You could talk aboot treatments. Maybe put you on hrt.

Hrt! I'm no old enough for hrt. I'm only 51.

Aye, my mum was 48/49 when she was on it - it's no' a bad thing.

Is that it then?

That's ma life over, eh?

What have I got to show for it, eh?

A Lassie who got herself pregnant the same age I did. A waster for a husband.

Washing up liquid -

that's what I went oot fir.

Thanks hen.

Have you got a death wish or something?

Why don't ye Chuck yerself oot the windae - get it over and done wi'?

Frank, I cannae take this anymore.

What are ye talking aboot?

I'm talking aboot packing ma bags.

If you want to kill yersel - go and dae it - fine.

But you cannae expect me to hing around here and watch it.

Fuck you, frank.

I'm sorry, hen.

It's ma da you should be apologising to.

I know. I made an appointment with the doctor. Will you come with me?

Aye, if you want me to.

I thought we could take a look at those new hooses on the way.

Good idea.

Will you be here when I get back?

Would you notice either way?

Cannae believe you're leavin' me over one lousy fag!

D'you really think that's whit this is all aboot?

It's everythin', frank - the fags, the booze, the curries, the telly.

We dinnae go oot, we've got nae friends, we dinnae talk and we've got nae sex life.

What d'you mean?

I mean that in 14 years o' marriage you've not once gi'en me an orgasm.

I didnae Ken you wanted wan.

(She laughs)

What's goin' on?

Pack some clothes, we're goin' to your auntie catriona's.

Tracy do what you're told.

See you when I get back then?

(She sighs)

She's a fuckin' bunny boiler! I woke up this mornin', she was in ma bed tellin' me she loved me.

I dunno why you're laughin', her maw and da were lookin fur you.

What's he lookin' fur me fur?

Her da says if ye go near her again he's gonna get the polis to ye! (He laughs)

Take your shot.

Knocking at door

Jake, if that's her don't let her in.

(Jake sighs)

Hi.

He's in the bath.

Eh, can I come in?

Naw.

Pissed aff at ye this mornin' you better no'.

What's wrang wi' me why's he no fancy me?

Tracy, it's no' you, it's... It's the whole...

I mean he disnae really... He's no' into women, he's no into women that much.

You sayin' he's gay?

You awright hen?

What do you care? You can't gie ma ma an orgasm.

What'd you say to her?

Promise me you'll no' get upset.

What'd you say to her Jake?

We were just... She...

She was saying "why does rab no' fancy me"

and I says you weren't intae women that much.

I think she thought I meant you were gay!

She whit?

She seemed really upset.

I'm fucking upset!

I was trying to help ye!

Next time dae me a bad turn, will ye?

Gay!

I cannae leave her here on her own wi' him.

He cannae bloody look after himself.

Catriona, I'll... No, look, thanks for offering, alright?

I'll work somethin' oot.

Ok.

Ok. Bye.

Bye.

How'd you get on at the doctor?

What'd he say?

He thinks I'm going through the change of life.

Oh, darling.

I'm sorry.

Sorry, Eddie.

Oh, you're all right sweetheart.

Radio: ♪ upbeat music

You all right?

I'm sorry, Tex.

I've just got a lot on my mind.

So what's the new hoose like?

Nice.

Does your ma like it?

You shoulda seen her face when she saw it had a garden.

You'd think she'd just won the lottery.

Can I use your phone, wee man?

My battery's deid.

It says you've overcharged me three quid.

Thanks.

Fannies, eh?

They're just great.

You dirty bastard!

Thump

pack yer bags! I think you're overreacting a wee bit...

Don't fucking tell me to calm doon!

What's goin' on?

Will somebody tell me what's goin' on?!

It's between me and him.

For fuck's sake, Claire, just let it go, will you?

Don't you ever talk to me like that!

I'm sorry, Claire!

Claire, I'm really sorry!

Pack your bags!

Where am I gonna go?

I don't give a fuck Tex!

You were sniffing her knickers!

Calm doon, son. Don't tell me to calm doon!

You're on your own!

Claire! Get oot ma way.

Please, Claire, it wisnae you I was mad at.

Get oot ma way.

Claire.

Gonnae hurry up!

Shit, shit!

There's Tracy!

Quick, take ma haun.

Wow!

Take ma haun Jake

afore somebody else comes!

I'm no' taking yer hand.

Look you, if I'm gay, you're gay.

Noo take ma fucking haun Jake!

How long we s'posed to do this?

Both: Hi Tracy.

You can let go of ma haun noo, Jake.

♪ You gotta be careful when you come upon smiling faces,

♪ gonna take you places you've never been before.

♪ You gotta be careful when you come upon smiling faces

♪ all that's left are traces...

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