Original subtitles

♪ So what if you

♪ can't touch the sky

♪ it doesn't mean

♪ you shouldn't try

♪ do you wanna fly?

♪ Ooh-ooh, do you wanna fly? ♪

Hi, I'm collecting sign...

Oh hi, I've got a petition about this decampment business.

Tell your husband he forgot this.

How many's that?

Three.

(Grunts) I'll no' see the weekend if I keep this up.

You leavin' him?

Nah, decided to kill 'im instead, I'm away tae dump his body.

Cheers. Here, whit you doin' Thursday night? Nothin'.

There's a country & western night in the community centre. Might get yer face on the telly.

How that?

Makin' some documentary or something. D'you fancy it?

What's up?

Where is he?

He's no' in. What's wrong?!

Two of the neighbours just slammed their doors in ma face.

I've had some right dirty looks too.

You don't know that.

How d'you explain that then?

Knock at door

persistent knocking

(oh, here we go, here we go.) This is it.

Try and calm down, I'll get it.

Here we go. God!

(Here we go, here we go, here we go.)

Jimmy: Whit, you kiddin'?! Well, when?

Right.

Can you tell me whit time at aboot? Right, ok.

That's great. Thanks for lettin' us know.

Ok, cheers. Cheerio.

Who was that?

Des moynes.

Who the fuck's des moynes?!

He's a local dj. I sent him a demo tape, he's gonnae play wan o' ma songs!

Good fur you, wee man. I didnae think you had it in ye.

Cheers (!)

I don't mean it like - just didn't think you took it that seriously.

This could be the start o' things.

What?!

Miserable, lying, thieving bastard. On your own doorstep this time.

What the hell's goin' on?

The cid were at the door looking for you.

You know fine well what fur.

There was a break-in last night. Wisnae me.

Where were you last night?

Who with?

Peter Collins.

Him you were in jail wi'! I knew he was up tae something.

He works for the housin' noo, was gonnae put a word in fur me.

If I find out you've been up tae somethin'...

Cabbage broth.

Beetroot salad.

Who's the nutritionist - the Marquis De sade (?) Och, it's no' that bad, frank.

Look, you're allowed one treat a day.

You can ha' a tangerine on a Wednesday!

Dinae like tangerines. Oh, frank, I Ken it's hard, but it's for your ain guid innit?

You know, if you did a wee bit mair exercise, you widnae be so... Exercise just gie's me an appetite.

Frank, I'm no' askin' ye tae run a marathon, something gentle... maybe we could go dancin' or something.

You've gotta be kiddin'!

That your feet I can smell?

Don't start, Alice. Knock at door

think something had died in here.

Door shuts

who was that? Blessed children of the holy temple of Christ.

What are they? Some sort of cult? Should join them.

Want tea, ma? Aye.

Listen, darlin', don't bother for me. I need to go doon the road and sign on.

There's a dance on in the community centre.

D'you fancy goin'?

Naw.

Frank, we never go anywhere.

It's a'right for you.

I'm on ma feet a' day, eh.

Right, fine. Maybe I'll just go masel then.

Go if you like.

I'm no' stoppin' ye.

Oh, he's away withoot his card. Keep an eye on Chloe, ma, I'll see if I can catch him.

Oh, cheers.

Hey, darlin'. Forgot this.

Oh, thanks, darlin'. Who are they?

Just a guy I went to school wi'.

Cheers. See you later, pet.

(Muffled) "Jake, this is your phone. Jake this is your phone,

"Jake, this is your phone, gonnae answer your pho-o-ne?"

Grrrrrr!

Hiya.

You been buskin'? Naw, I'm just back fae college. Doin' a wee part-time music course.

What d'you do on that?

Bit o' songwriting, bit o' production.

Y'know des moynes?

The dj? Aye. A'right, Claire?

Where are you goin'?

Ran oot o' skins.

Here, think I've got a pack.

Couldnae be arsed walkin' doon tae they shops.

So, Claire... Eh, how's your lovelife the noo, still goin' through the batteries like good thing?

Shut up, you! Agh!

See if you werenae here, I'd be in her knickers by noo.

I've already got wan arsehole in there, why would I want another wan?

(Sniggers)

See you later.

I think I'm in there.

Phone rings

Hello?

Aye.

It's for you, da.

Hello.

Aye.

Right.

Who's that?

Some guy. Didn't say.

I was just aboot tae tell her and him upstairs butted in.

Who? That rab.

Chattin' her up in the lift, shouldae heard some o' the 'hings he said tae her.

He's a fuckin' space cadet, don't worry aboot him.

Whit was he sayin'? I don't know.

I 'hink he asked if she used a vibrator. Does she?

Just laziness, but. Dirty, lazy bastard -

there's a big sticker on the case saying "rewind your tapes before you haun them in."

Two minutes it takes!

Two minutes, you've been on aboot it fae the last 20!

Gie's that brush o'er.

Tell you, telly must be pish the night. Really, really busy there.

Well, you're no' the only wan that's been busy the day.

I came up wi' a cool wee gismo for chillin' oot wi' - "foilavision". Show you later.

Your ma away tae her bed?

Who's that on the phone earlier?

Just a guy I know.

Him you were talkin' to this morning?

Peter? Nah, wisnae Peter.

So who was it then?

What is this?! D'you no' trust me or somethin'?

I want to, but...

Nothin'.

I'll see you in the mornin', da.

Night, sweetheart.

Are you sure you don't want tae come?

Naw, there's a programme on I want tae see.

Great, another documentary on linedancing (!)

Oooh! Look, ma, you've got legs!

(Laughs) Shut it, you.

Right, I'm off then.

Where is it my ma's goin'?

She's away to some country & western night.

Gie's a crisp will ye, hen?

Naw, you're on a diet!

That's it, I'm away to the bingo. Wish me luck.

(Keep your eye on him.)

Knock on door

Where's rab?

At his ma's.

I phoned you yesterday.

I forgot ma phone.

Jake...

Whit age were you the first time you had sex?

Fourteen.

I think.

Was the Lassie a virgin?

Dunno, didnae ask.

My ma still thinks I'm a virgin.

D'you want to see my tattoo?

It's no' real, it just washes aff but.

Ok, darlin', I'm away oot, I'll see you later.

Wanna just stay in, da?

Naw... i don't. I'm no' gonnae walk aboot actin' guilty when I've done nothin' wrang.

If you want a beer or something I can run down tae the off-licence.

You're just gonnae have to trust me. I'll see you later.

(She giggles)

Jake... D'you think I should get my nipples pierced?

Ok... you need tae go.

Rab'll be back soon. He disnae really like ye hangin' aboot wi' us.

It's no' that when he hasnae any hash.

Knock at door

that's him noo, that's him.

D'you want tae...?

Hello, we represent the blessed children of the holy temple of Christ.

Come in.

Ģ (rab coughs)

Who the fuck are they?

God squad.

Jake!

In here.

(Whit d'you let them in fur?!)

(I had tae, I had tae. Rab, Tracy wants tae shag me.)

(You aff yer nut?! Get rid o' them!) (Nah, you dae it.)

(You let them in, you get rid o' them.)

Whit ye doin'?! Makin' tea. They'll never fuckin' leave.

Gie's they mugs.

There you go. Ah, thank you.

Are any of you familiar with proverbs, chapter 1, verse 13?

Right, I'm no' sittin' wi' these pair o' bums a' night.

Janet: Whit's it again?

A great wee night, eh? It was brilliant, aye.

Listen, d'you fancy goin' for a wee drive wan night?

I'm a married woman, Tex.

Sorry... had tae ask.

See you later then, eh.

It'd have to be next week sometime. Frank's on nightshift.

(Whistles)

I just cannae get intae religion at a', just too many rules.

Like what?

Cannae drink, can ye? Cannae swear, cannae sh...

..Have sex. Aye, fuck that for a carry-on.

Are ye allowed tae watch movies?

(Sighs) Here we go.

Did you know - a thousand feet o' tape, two hour video.

Here, big man, gie's a shot o' your Bible, eh?

Rab, whit ye doin'?

Rab, ye cannae...

You cannae dae that. You'll go tae hell fur that.

TV: "He could have sat around saying 'why me?' But he didn't. He never complained.

"He knew he didn't have long so he was determined to make the most of the time he had.

"He packed more into ten years than most people do in a lifetime."

Door opens (Turns TV off)

You a'right?

Aye.

How was your night out?

Aye, it was fine, nothin' special.

(Rab chuckles)

(Laughter echoes)

(Laugh echoes)

D'you want an egg?

Aye... ok.

This wan's lower in fat.

Knock at door

Knocking

Door crashes in

Yous two try anythin', you'll get this o'er the heid!

You're a disgrace! Breakin' intae people's hooses and a Bible.

Least when I was doin' it, I was fuckin' honest.

Da? Whit's goin' on?

Aaagh!

Don't staun there gawpin', phone the polis!

They're no' movin' anybody in tae they get these finished.

Aff Peter.

It's me and yer ma's 30th anniversary this year, I wanted tae get her somethin' special.

Somethin' wi' a wee bit o' me in it.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Why didn't you tell me what you were doin'?

Didnae want to, in case you slipped up.

Think she'll like it? Of course she will.

It's just whit she needs.

Hello.

I heard yer house got broke intae.

Aye, my dad came out the bath and caught them.

What's that?

Oh, it's a copy of ma demo.

Oh... listen I've no' got a tape deck.

Have you no' got it on cd?

They're playin' it on the radio next week.

Really?!

Just thought, if you fancy... You can come up and listen tae it wi' me.

Aye.

Ok.

Cheers.

(Moaning on TV)

I knew there was somethin' funny aboot that pair.

Think they were casing the joint? They smoked the only thing we had worth stealing.

It's her! It's her!

She's gonnae fire one out.

Pop

(they cheer)

Right, I'm away tae bed.

I'm proud o' you.

Thanks, darlin'.

Night. Night.

What aboot you?

What about me? Are you no' proud o' me?

No' even a wee bit?

(Sighs) You no' got anythin' to say tae me?

Aye, I hope you're gonna fix that towel rail.

(Chuckles)

That's no' bad actually!

♪ And I got high as the highest mountain

♪ I came down hard as a meteorite

♪ I met a man who turned my daytime

♪ into night ♪

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