Original subtitles

♪ So what if you

♪ can't touch the sky

♪ it doesn't mean

♪ you shouldn't try

♪ do you wanna fly?

♪ Ooh-ooh, do you wanna fly? ♪

Heavy breathing

frank?

Frank, what's up wi' ye?

What's wrong? Frank, try and get a breath.

You're all right. Tracy.

C'mon try and take a breath.

Tracy. Try and relax. You're all right.

You're all right. Go and see the doctor, hen.

Frank, you're all right, just get a breath.

Hissing

sorry to drag you oot for nothin' doctor.

You Ken what women are like, they panic at the slightest thing.

Frank, you couldnae breathe.

I'd had a bad dream.

Had a cheese sandwich before I went to bed.

I'll be honest wi' you frank,

if you keep on the way you are you'll be dead in five years - if you're lucky.

Your excess weight is putting strain on your heart.

I'm only 12 stone. Your backside's 12 stone.

Do you exercise at all?

The nutritionist will send you a diet sheet. Meantime no more snacks.

I'm no' good wi' diets. I saw on TV about a slimming patch.

Could you just wire his mouth shut?

I'll see you oot, doctor.

Awww. Who's a beautiful baby, eh?

Yes, who is it? Who's a beautiful baby?

Uhhh!

What's wrong?

This bloody application, I cannae make sense o' it.

Probably a waste o' time. Who'd gie me a job at ma age, wi' ma record!

Do you have any impairment, physical or otherwise,

that could prevent you from carrying out your duties?

Naw, just the spellin'. Will I put it down?

You might as well - get fun' oot soon enough if I get the job.

Here, how d'you spell dyslexia?

Hah, hah! (She chuckles)

That's you, you've only got to sign it. Cheers darlin'.

Hello. Hello. Yes. Mmmh.

I'm away to the bingo.

Look Chloe, granny's goin' out in mummy's dress.

Say bye bye to granny. Say "bye bye, granny."

That's it. Bye bye, granny.

Will you stop calling me that?!

Knocking

banging

Jimmy!

Thumping

keep it down, I'm tryin' to get ma Lassie to sleep.

Whit flair is this?

Sorry hen, ma heid's up ma arse the day, I've got aff at the wrang flair.

You Alice's daughter? Aye.

I'm Jimmy's uncle.

What's your name again?

Claire.

I should know by now I hear it enough.

I think oor wee man's got a thing fur you.

He wouldnae.

Just puts 'hings in his daft songs.

I'm no' sayin' that.

Nothin', I've said too much as it is.

See you later then, eh?

"Eh, so, whit's that the score is now, rab?"

The score now Jake is, you are on 31 and I am on 20.

(Exhales deeply)

Fish supper?

Where d'you get it? The one up the road?

I've a nice big steak pie waiting fur me.

One... two... three... oh!

I'm workin' noo.

How'd that happen?

See the wee video shop round the corner?

Uh-huh. In there.

Money's not great obviously but I get to take oot as many movies as I want.

"A doll full of fisters"?!

Kerry hunt won a stiffy for it. What the hell's a stiffy?

Sex toys international's foxiest female of the year. It's like a bafta.

Bye, frank. Take it easy.

One... two...

516... 517...

Thanks very much, Jake, I was on a personal best there.

Whit's in the bag? Fish suppers.

Excellent. How was your first day at work?

It was a'right, aye.

(Sniggers)

Shift.

(Upbeat music plays on TV)

This is shite.

(Turns TV over)

Some'hin' smells nice.

Groaning

Hey, I've seen this wan.

How, what happens?

He rides her, then she rides the pal, then the pal rides the two o' them.

Did you win?

How much?

Two hundred and fifty. That'll pay a few bills, eh hen?

Bills nothin'.

Spend it on maself for a change.

TV: "Enough shopping opportunities to keep you occupied for hours."

What's this?!

What does it look like?

Where's ma steak pie?

Thursday's steak pie night.

No' now. You heard what the doctor said.

We've no' heard fae the nutritionist? You could be putting me in danger.

It's a baked tottie, no' a handgrenade.

Tracy, get us a bag o' chips. You go, you need the exercise.

Think aboot it, Jake, you spend a third of your life workin' and what dae you end up wi' -

a stripper if you're lucky and some half arsed pension.

I don't believe in workin' just for the sake o' it.

If I'm gonna spend a third of ma life workin' it has to be something I enjoy. Like whit?

I dunno, if I knew that I'd be oot doin' it.

This job o' yours, it's a cushy wee number, nae doubtin' that.

You sit on yer arse a' day watching videos but you can get too comfortable in a job like that.

Better be careful or it'll suck a' the ambition right oot ye.

(Grunting on TV)

TV: "Y'know the worst person you could go out with, your partner... You're socialising..."

Hi. Half past ten I said tae ye.

I was walkin' Kelly home.

Tracy!

Och, who did that to your neck?

Go tae your bed.

(Sighs)

Door slams

you don't think she's havin' sex, d'you?

Who?

Tracy.

What, at her age? She wouldnae be the first.

D'you think we should talk tae her aboot it?

Talk tae her aboot whit?

Aboot sex, frank.

Christ, can you no' take yer eyes aff that telly for wan minute?!

You talk to her if you like. I'm no' discussin' sex wi' a 15 year old Lassie, especially no' ma daughter.

I was talkin' to your uncle the other day.

Said you'd wrote a song aboot me.

Can I hear it?

Erm, well, I'm kinda still workin' on it.

But you'll let me know when you've finished it?

Where've you been?

At work. I don't finish till eight on a Saturday.

You mighta telt me, I had your dinner ready hours ago.

Eh?

Any left?

It's in the oven.

Superb.

Don't blame me if it's a' dried up.

Is this it?!

Oh, sorry. Are beans on toast no' good enough for you noo?

We gettin' a bit o' hash?

No way.

I thought you says you were gettin' a sub.

What happened to the bit o' dope that was there?

Whit d'you expect me tae dae, Jake, sit about a' day scratchin' ma arse?!

Phone rings

you goin' oot, ma?

Aye, I'm away to see a hoose fur your auntie catriona.

Hi, catriona, I'll be down in a minute. Bye.

There's some o' that nut roast left in the fridge, frank.

Aye, cheers (!)

You no' goin' oot?

Naw, ma pals are goin' to the pictures.

How you no' goin'?

I've nae money.

Here.

It's a fiver tae get in!

Cheers, da.

That was lovely, darlin', thanks very much.

Knock at door

get the door.

Guess who.

Hi, rab.

Whit do you want?

Can you get us a bit o' hash?

(Laughs) Aye, if you had any money.

Spare ribs... And sweet 'n' sour chicken and fried rice.

Rab, rab, rab - you've gotta let me go.

Er... naw. Last time you went, you didnae come back for three hours.

(Whistles along to cd) ♪ met a man who turned my daytime into night. ♪

What've you been tellin' Claire?! Nothin'.

You told her I wrote a song aboot her! Is that what she says, she must have picked me up wrang.

Well, whit did you say? I told her you wrote songs.

I don't like people knowin' ma business, ok?

Noted. Now, d'you mind, I'm havin' a pish.

Hullo, I ordered a takeaway over an hour ago.

If you don't ask, you'll never know.

You'll wait, you'll wait and you'll hesitate and somebody else'll step in.

Mobile plays tune

hello?

Aye, tell him I'll be there in five minutes.

I'm on ma way.

Right, I better get this to fatboy upstairs.

♪ You wait...

♪ you wait and you wait, and you hesitate

♪ till somebody else steps in... ♪

keep this tae yersel' will you? Janet's got me on a diet.

What's this, phone sex?

D'you get it?

Here. Skins are on the table.

Is this what you spent your sub on? Takes photies.

Blackmail.

Toilet flushes

how'd it go?

Nice hoose?

Aye, so beautiful.

Is this it? Aye.

The brochure disnae dae it justice though, you've got to see it.

Frank, I've been thinkin'...

Maybe I could get a wee part-time job and...

You sayin' I cannae support ma family noo?

Naw, I'm just sayin' that maybe if we had a wee bit extra cash coming in

then we could think aboot maybe buyin' somewhere.

Whit fur?

Because this is a shit-hole!

D'you honestly want to stay here the rest of your life?

Frank, I'm away tae ma bed. You can wait up for Tracy.

♪ Upbeat country music

♪ listen close you can hear it on the wind

♪ it echoes like a... ♪

(toilet won't flush) Knock at door

mornin'.

Widnae fit in yer letterbox. No' the first time that's happened to me.

I didnae have you doon as a country & western fan.

Oh, you any guid wi' toilets?

Mine's no' flushin' right. Gie's a wee look at it.

(Toilet doesn't flush)

Aye, see whit you mean? I'll take a look in here, eh.

What the hell is that?

Oh! (Sighs)

D'you have to dae that in here?

She's only feedin' the wean.

Naebody's talkin' tae you. C'mon, Chloe, granny's in one of her grumpy moods.

Stop callin' me that.

(Turns TV to news)

"One of Scotland's biggest unemployment blackspots received a welcome boost today.

"A new retail park is planned which is expected to bring 800 jobs to the fairmyle area

"where unemployment is three times the national average."

I knew it! What've I been sayin'?

Camera clicks

Crackin' innit, but?

D'you think he's shaggin' her? If he's no', she's aboot the only wan roon here he hasnae shagged.

Tried it on wi' my ma, for fuck's sake! (They laugh)

What aboot the pill? See the pill disnae stop you gettin' diseases.

That's the thing aboot boys, you dinnae Ken where they've been!

(They laugh)

Gimme a shout when ma tea's ready, eh?

Tex, can you sign this? Whit is it?

A petition - they want to tear doon the flats and sell the land.

No' ma problem, I'm only here tae I find a place o' ma ain.

It's a hale community they're tearin' doon. Oh!

Your tea's oo...

Knock at door

Knocking

What we havin'?

Your leftovers... Fae last night.

I was hungry.

You're pathetic. After everythin' the doctor said.

Frank, see if you're really determined to kill yerself,

gonnae dae it quickly so that I can get on wi' my life.

Take a look at that, Tracy - this is what you end up married tae if you dinnae use a condom.

Door slams

♪ and I got high as the highest mountain

♪ I came down hard as a meteorite

♪ I met a man who turned my daytime

♪ into night ♪

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